Original subtitles

- Well, what are ya gonna do it? - Already? - Of course.

Wait! Today will go well and it will finally happen ...

- what are you doing you twat? - a Jay (bird). A pissed off one.

- Hey, where are you hiding him? - Here. Come on.

- Hi. - Come here.

Dog!

Don't worry, I thought of everything my friend.

- Hey. - Hi.

- What did you bring? - Slivku(alcohol). - Slivku ey?

Homemade from my uncle in Moravia. We have a whole cellar full.

- Wait! Got the photo? - Yes, sorry.

Nice.

Hopefully we can do it just in time, before your parents wake.

Do what?

Lie down.

You're so horny. You wouldn't have missed this opportunity would you?

As always.

What are you chatting about? How come "as always"?

You have to relax. Your the eternal virgin.

Unfortunatly Whenever this happened I had some problems although there is usually no problems.

I will take your virginity.

- I'm getting wet. - Me too.

- Fuck. - What?

Stop...err..lie... - shit!

Oh God, you're on fire! What are you doing?

Not on the damn carpet! Oh god no!

- Curtains! Take them down! - Curtains! Do something!

- Well, do something! - Oh, God!

- Shit, pour water on it! - How?

Not that!

Good Evening. Filip Kastan. Do ya happen to have a bit of water?

Rafters

And so, nothing?

Three months?

Nothing.

Mr. Novak,do you find your wife attractive?

Well, errm ...

Pardon me.

I am discussing something, I can't now.

My husband likes his work more than me.

- How long have you been married? - 17 years. - Eighteen.

And I - 25 years.This is my wife. Believe me, it will only be worse.

Now listen to me carefully.

- I recommend you to return to the start. - Excuse me, what?

You must return to the time, and to the places where it worked between you.

This generally works. Even in sex, Mr. Novak.

- Why do you have to be so loud? - Hey. So how is it?

Did you get busted, you pyrotechnic

No, but I expect him every moment.

Well what about Marcelka? How did it end? Poor girl.

- She won't stop anything now. - Fear not, I have an awesome replacement.

- That's not your girlfriend is it? - No.

- Will you come with us? - Yeah man, I'm not a pussy.

- Wait, where are you going? - For that raft.

- Are you still enjoying last night's 'hot' night? - Dan, now I am glad that she is sleeping.

- It's so messy here. - Walk on tiptoes.

- What is it? - A horse you twat.

Your shitting me haha. Here it is!

- Try to be less loud. - Oh my god its so big like it's the "Titanic."

So what, let's blow it up now?

SHIT, TURN THE FUCKING THING OFF.

- Where do you turn it off? - Quiet stop shouting you twat.

- Shut up! Shut up! - I dcan't hear you.

He's a complete retard. Wouldn't you kill him? Well I will!

Fuck. Turn it off!

FILIP!

Shit my mothers awake!

What is it? Filip, you fucking animal! What the fuck do you think your doing with the compressor?

I havent ever fucked rubber before!

The bell!

- I'm coming. - Right now you're dead.

Oh well when the chicks see us in this,

They'll wanna have it 10 times a day with us!

What is it, mummy?

Your friend came to see you.

Listen, buddy. This time my wallet will be closed.

And the damage you caused this time is coming out your own money.

And because I'n not mean, I'll tell you were to earn it.

- No, Mum, no ... - At your uncle Jonas's.

Mum, I havn't done it deliberately, I won't ever do it again ...

After tomorrow I'm taking you to the train station.

I can't imagine that someone has a worse child than me!

Mum, this week, really, is very important to us.

If you could take care of Honzik for us.

- Teachers love him. - Good afternoon. - He has changed a lot.

So, we will take six "Big Mac Country" ...

By now he is a lot more independant. Would you like honey in your tea, Mum?

...and three cheeseburgers, four large cokes, five Happy Meals ...

Well, generally he is an angel, but for how long?

- Good afternoon. - I didn't even order this.

Don't put it here man, I didn't order this shit!

Fucking Hell! Run!

hmm, he seems more intelligent.

I told you that he needed a firm hand.

In my youth he would get smacked and he would shut up.

And why can't Daniel take care of Hoznik for the week, he's almost an adult.

- Well I'm doing a job all week nan... - Glad to hear it, Danielle.

Let's hope that one day your brother will be liek you too.

More tea, Mum?

His doctor prescribed tablets for him, to reduce hyperactivity.

Put it in his "Sprite" in the morning, and all day will be as gentle lamb.

- Mom, we really need you. - Let's be right about this now, Blanka,

I know perfectly that no nanny wants to take care of him so...

the last resort is me, as always.

But Okay, if you need it so much, I'll care for him for the week.

This is for you granny.

Well, Honzik, you see. When you want, everything is possible .

Good boy. I hope this good behaviour lasts.

- No, here's your water! - No! - Mum, drink the water!

How naive am I! I allowed myself to get tricked again! I'm an old dumb cow.

"Going to Sumperk. do you have any spare change for the train? "

How come your not coming? I already promised it to the girls.

My parents also tried making me take Honzik with me.

I just normally talked my way out of it. - But you don't know my mother.

Uncle Jonas is a straight blatent horror.

He lives on the most smelliest farm in the biggest stinking shit hole.

Ah, Don't give up. I said we're going rafting with the girls didn't I.

My parents went there as teens, and to this day they talk about it.

Easy! First take all the cash you need before your dad blocks it,

and find buses on the internet which cross with the ones going to your uncles farm, which stop right next to our river.

Don't talk about this too much, thats what all parents love.

and when the morning comes pretend to be completely pissed off.

Like you realized everything and you just don't wanna go.

Don't stare at me like a complete idiot.

as if it felt like being such a terrible punishment,

and be really empty minded like the punishment really annoyed you. This will delight any parent.

And remeber, I have a heavy hand mate.

And then the rest is easy. As you come down to the last stop,

just go out and get on at the right bus which will take you to our river.

I'll wait with all our girls at the camp.

In the evening youll get some pussy, and finally be a man.

I'm getting off here.

Do not talk to the driver.

At least slow down, I'll jump out.

At least press the brakes down a little, I'll jump out.

Hey, thanks, go fast, this field stinks.

- Thank you, let's meet up one day. - I'd be scared to.

Hey man.

Where are the chicks?

Man, that sucks, What's up?

Don't worry, Where are they?

Well, you'd better read it yourself.

In the end went to the sea, hope your enjoying water like us.

- See ya mate. - Wait, where you're going to go?

Milk to cows in Moravia, you fuck.

Man, don't worry we'll find some better girls, not a problem.

Idiot! I took such a risk because of a stupid fucking MMS.

Today there is no other bus coming, so calm down.

Dude, We will sort things out like normal people.

I stopped here, and I'll stop back.

Come on, don't leave me here Kastan I'll get ya a babe.

I promise you that if you don't find pussy here

I will go to Moravia and do the work for you.

You don't know what you're getting into.

No, Einstein Choose your girl and she's yours.

Camp "At The Squirrels"

Thanks, you were sweet.

What's it gonna be gentlemen?

If I had such a boat like you I wouldnt go in 2's like some homos.

It happens...

It'll cost ya 100 Koruna.

What the fuck? 100?

That was a completely new compressor for two-thousand Koruna.

Previously, we didn't decide on that.

Well look here, I can take the air back.

Yes, and before I forget, 200 koruna for each oar.

They will also be needed.

- Hello, Mum. - Sounds like too much fun with your uncle.

Yeah they just returned from the field.

Moravians are happy people.

- Please, can you do it a little more quietly? - What do you mean, young scout?

It's just, could ya play something Moravian.

- Fuck that. - Give me the phone! I wanna speak to him.

He can't right now.

Thats better, buddy.

- Listen, give me it. - Yes, wait, wait.

Hey ... Uncle, uncle ... I'm giving you to him ...

You twat, you are pissed! Such a moron!

I sent you my boy so that you can show him who's boss.

and you get drunk? - You fucking moron.

And you promised me that you'll take care of him.

- Everything will be fine. - You dickhead, you know what I mean...

- Listen you cock sucker, can you hear me? - Of course, don't worry, I'm sorry.

- Go fuck yourself! - Here ya go.

Be glad you ain't married.

For this money, I could buy a girl for myself.

- Yeah, an inflatable one haha. - WOuldn't mind that either haha.

Even then you would need that faggot with the compressor.

And when will you start, looking for some chick for me?

What was that?

What the fuck? You cock sucker!

Honzik! Come, drink a little bit more.

- Honzik? - What are you doing here?

You can't through things at strangers!

I'm not throwing at strangers. It was Danny.

Don't make a fool out of me.

Danny?

Well, now we're fucked.

Look, Daniel, your a big boy now, no point in playing stupid games.

We somehow with mum... well... Recently, it's not working for us.

- I know you went to a psychologist or something. - We just decided with Mum

to take some time to visit those places where we met.

To try and go back to the good old times. - Sounds a little weird.

- Well, I wouldn't call it so. - You said the same.

Look, Daniel, this therapy will only work

when me and mum are being left in peace. - I'm not trying to occupy you.

But now isn't about you.

Then of who?

Just not this. I really don't want to.

Tomorrow morning where packing.

Maybe something will happen.

Oh, you rafter. All the girls will shout:

Filip you virgin. We want you!

Thats true.

But now I will be among cows.

Take another one.

- Do you hear how quiet it is? - Yeah.

- Oh, uh... - I told them I'm on holiday.

Ahooooy! Hey land lubber!

This can't be true! I havn't seen you

in such a long time.

I really thought that entrepreneurs no longer go to the water.

Well here me and Blanka wanted to remember the good ol' times, haha.

Did you know that I can still do my amazing trick! The Eskimo!

- Can you tell me, what the fuck he is doing here? - I really don't know...

Did you tell him we would be here? You're unbelievable.

- You're afraid to be alone with me. - But Blanka...

- You're afraid to communicate with me! - Chill, it's okay, calm down.

Calm down? Yeah right.

- Errm, I think he's drowning. - Leave your stupid jokes out please.

My God!

- Help!

- a person is drowning here...

- Well, what one? - Look mate someones drownin' for ya over there...

What? really... -Fuck.

Help! Help!

Are you okay?

Yes. Well, not really ...

- I need a bit of a rescue too. - You didn't look like you were drowning, heh.

Oh my god! Borek, your such an animal.

What? Come on! You're so beautiful when your angry.

- So what? - Don't disturb it yeah?

- You still wanna go to Moravia? - No.

- Well, come on, Honzik ... - Ow, ow, I apologize.

Everything is fine.

We will meet tonight at the camp "Palenka". About 20 kilometers downstream.

Here I have something for his hyperactivity.

A Tablet per day and he's calm like a lamb.

You better put it in his Sprite, he will spit everything else out.

You'll see, will be good. See you.

I'm in love.

- With this one? - Yeah.

- Great... - Why?

- A little unusual. - I'll tell her that I love her, and you'll see.

You got a problem which you wanna get rid of.

Only a proper chick will help ya with this.

Don't stop, we are already late.

So, my ladies, a big change happens today.

We will go through rafter baptism -

a sort of relationship, between you and the river.

We will undergo baptism with the water and the paddle ...

You will undergo this great babtism, on your own ass.

Now or never.

Man, the river is too calm, it doesnt go, I'm tired.

- Any problems, boys? - No, why?

Just in case the fish will laugh at your speed.

- Yeah right. - Let's do a little business, eh?

- Super! Wind in my face.. - It wants my body.

This is what I call speed, eh?

- Well, somehow not very fast. - Hang on, little un'.

Well, guys? For 300 Koruna, a decent trip right?

I'm outta here. In a bit!

What were you doin in there you little shit?

There were girls ...

Follow me to the shore.

Flower or teddy bear, madam?

No. It wasn't like that. Try again...

We don't have to do everything exactly as it was.

The firing range was also different. And there are no bears.

Don't you remeber? Here was the first time you flirted with me.

- Don't you remeber anything? - Yeah... Yeah...

At least try, At least get me a flower.

- Ahooooy! - Wow.

- Everything here is as before, eh? - Hey. Yeah.

- I knew I would find you here. - Yeah. - Watch now.

Oh, hello.

- So, let's do this. - No, wait ...

Bro! Well, ...

Honzik, stop!

So, what where will you start, apart from that beauty?

- I don't know yet. - Ah, Come on, choose!

I do not know.

- Girls, which you will be first? - Well, maybe Martina.

- But why me? - You're safe with me.

- Will do it for them. - We love being active.

- And afterwards we're gonna have to rescue you again right?

Boy, what are you doing there? Get down!

Whose child is this? Come and pacify it someone!

- Bro, you idiot! Get away from there! - I'm not doing anything wrong.

- Don't do anything... - I just wanted to press this.

What are you doing you little shit? Get out of here! Get out!

- Honzik, are you thirsty? - Give me that.

Drinking is good, against sunstroke.

Let me stay with you In the event that ozhadneesh.

- Do you think it will work? - We'll see.

I think he's used to it.

Pavel?

Pavel? What are you doing?

Come now. Hold on.

I'm imagining this.

Girls, it's 10 pm. Time for bed.

No! Not yet.

Let them, boss, at least one more hour. I will watch over them.

Yeah! Yes!

- This age is 1 hour ahead of your youth. - Yes, yes.

Vendula, this doesn't apply to you. Brush your teeth and go to sleep.

Daddy, please!

Go, Vendula, Rafters have to sleep. Haha

I'm like the odd one out, with you and your raft.

What? I gave you my old memorable kayak. Do you know what this means?

On it I have spent all off my first night ride.

Where are you going, Vendula?

You cold? I'll lend you my jacket.

My one is warmer, if you want it instead.

I'm really not cold.

What a mess! Damn, townies. - What the?

Vendula!

Vendula! Where is your canoe? Where is your canoe?

I'll deal with you later.

So, which one should I choose?

I don't know. Which one do you like?

And down and up and down and up

You know they all look good, can't tell really with those tracksuits on.

- And down and up ... - But their asses are nice.

- Forget Clara. The rest of them are good too.

- What about the blonde? - That barbie? She annoys me.

Just smile at her and it should be alright.

My thirst.

That blonde has nice tits.

That's right, but what do we do with your brother?

I'll tie him to the boat by his legs, and we will drag him across the river. Haha.

Vendula, dress, quick!

You got something cool? We are really hot.

For you - ladies.

God!

- Mr. Turek! - Come in, I'll wash and dry you.

- He's up already. - Is he gay or what?

I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

Hello, girls!

Go on.

Fuck, who cares about the shoes?

Girls, you must see this!

Daniel? What are you doing there?

Me? No, it ...

You swine, you pervert!

How do you see this? Touching up my back, in the morning?

Ciao.

Hey.

I will give him a double dose.

Hey guys, I have a proposal for you.

Help!

I noticed you have a problem with speed, but here my daughter is a great motor.

Will you take her in your raft?

She can manage paddling, even give her the rudder.

This is called peace, eh?

Are you also glad that we woke up early?

We could have also slept for longer and let Borek go first.

Why do we always have to escape away from him?

Oh be quiet. It's so pretty here.

- Kiss me. - We will tip.

We won't. You know you kissed me right here.

- And then we also fled from him. - Really?

Ahoooy! Leave this flirting. Better watch the water.

Please leave us alone! I need to get down somehow now.

- Hey, girls! - Hi.

- Do you want a drink? - Why are you talking to these perves?

- Leave them. - They were fun.

They can't be perverts if they let them care for such a nice little boy.

- You are also nice girls, you're sexy. - Really? What do you know about this?

Not so much. Only what my brother and his friend say.

Oh, right? Sexy? your so sweet!

But they talk about things I don't understand.

Do you have a pussy and jugs?

And where do you keep them?

For jugs I have a shelf... But where I would hide a pussy I really don't know...

I don't want them though, I have a jug in the cupboard at home. What does pussy mean?

Can you show me what your pussy looks like?

Guys ... are you okay?

I hope he was ok.

I'm sorry guys I know it's not easy with him, but

I know that when he's on the computer Honzik is always calm.

But surely this is Dads...

Yeah, you you need it more, right? There are games on it.

- Perhaps this will occupy him for a while. - Thank you. See you soon.

- Where are you going? - Everything has it's time.

- What about it? - Clean yourself up a bit, man.

I have a small surprise for you tonight.

I hope Borek will not bother us.

What happens if Honzik breaks it? You could have at least asked me.

At home you also lend him it, and has he ever broken it?

- Anyway, now you don't need it. - Yes, but he will drain the battery.

Well you can always charge it again.

Borek is a smart guy he will understand we want to remain to ourselves.

He still sleeps.

Go one after another to the top around those rocks in the co-ordinates at 52, 40, 20.

There you will find a message marked with your name.

Whoever comes last, will have to tidy the camp site.

- But this is a rafting course, right? - But I make the rules, right?

And my rafters have to be trained To survive in the wild.

What happens if your boat breaks in the middle of the Amazon jungle? Aha!

Fucking mosquitoes.

- Come here. - Me, why? - Come here.

I arranged your meeting. Kastan here would like to walk with you.

Really? But they will look for me.

Okay, I have arranged everything. Relax. I'll take it for you.

So, what have you got planned?

- Ah! Shit. - Carefully.

Here yeah?

You prepared this for me? Beauty and the candles are nice.

Better to extinguish them, Once we have hay.

Romance has to be.

Will you open it for me?

- Wait ... - What is it?

I have not done it yet.

Something bad always happens due to my bad luck. Maybe this is my karma.

You're so cute.

- So you have done this before. - Nono.

Pick up your phone. It's danny.

- Sorry. - It's all right. I'm not gonna runaway.

Yes, Mom, I only had to put the rakes away.

You know how the village goes, working from morning till night.

No, not whispering, whispering why? I am here with this cow.

- Milking her you know. - You cock sucker.

-shit.

Martina, you do not know Where that stupid sign is?

I am not Martina.

You're not waiting for someone here are you?

Well, just waiting for you. Filip is somewhere with Martina.

so I thought I could be your bodyguard.

- You have it well thought of. - Well, yes.

She looks bad... I will have to try harder next time...

The most important thing is to admit to yourself the mistake and never do it again.

I know this is a curse. I can't get rid of it.

Clara is the best, at least I can hol her hand.

This is your biggest mistake, man! Your only problem is fore play.

You just have to have a chick who's so horny

so that there is no time for something to happen to you.

And up and down and up and down ...

This is stupid.

Wow found a diary.

It is stupid to dig around like that.

- It smells nice. - Man, Whose is this?

- Whose is this tent? - Well we'll see.

- Good morning. - Hey!

Nice morning.

Girls! You have 10 minutes To pack it all up here.

The bad bitch who takes this kinda thing with her, must be horny as.

we will see what happens.

So, now to see who will enter the tent.

- I'm dying of thirst. - This girl?

Very clear, rotations of half a turn, as if it was my dick. Nice.

Less than 2 minutes, ladies hurry up.

Do you understand? Move it.

You're not gonna take this with you on the bike are you?

So that noone steals it, and its dead anyway.

Good morning.

You goin somewhere before we set off eh?

No, me and Blanka wanted to relax for a bit so we're going to Kashperk.

To Kashperk? A bit too far isn't it?

Full day trip there.

You will not even get into the next camp in time.

We don't even want to. We Just wan't to relax.

Borek, we are ready now, what to do next?

Are we going or not?

Borek, could you take care of our boys?

so they don't cause trouble. - Of course.

Of course.

Should I tell him Where are really going?

So that he won't come after us, yeah?

- What would he travel by? - By bicycle.

On a bicycle eh? The camp owner doesn't rent out bikes.

- Good afternoon. - Yes?

We only came to ask, if by any chance you have err...

one of those magazines... - You mean porn mags?

- Yes, however, ones which have bondage and stuff. - I understand, you don't have to explain anything.

We need it for this chick she's a bit of an intelectual.

Intellectual nymphomaniac? For that I have something much better.

Pheromone, works 100%. the girls will come easy.

They will be horny as fuck.

The girls shouldn't see you with it now. Ya better hide it.

- Thank you. - Thank you, goodbye.

A change of plans, girls! No water. Change of plan, you're gonna sit.

Tie these scarves around your eyes.

We will try one of the hardest tests tests of paratroopers.

We will drop you off at an unknown place.

and you will have 10 hours to return back to camp.

What the fuck! We're meant to be rafting.

One more word and I'll drop you off 10 km further than the rest.

- Hello, it's Filip. - What do you want?

- Where are you going? - To Kashperk, far away from you.

I hope that no one is using a mobile phone.

I said it quite clearly. No mobile phones in the wild.

Why did us two stop visting nature?

Isn't it better than being at the seaside, eh?

- Urrm... I don't know... - It's so wonderful.

I'm already so tired.

How can you get tired of such beutiful nature?

- Rowing, yeah? - Ah! the bridge is rocking.

Shit it's mother again. She'll kill me! I don't know what to say.

- We'll meet at the castle yeah? - No need to talk to her.

Send her a soothing image.

What should I write with it?

I don't know. "Greetings from a friend." But she really hates cows.

- Who did you send it to you twat? - What?

This number is not my mothers!

Who's number is it then?

What?

- You will get it back at the end of the course. - What will I do without my phone?

Girls, I'm starting the stopwatch.

Which one of you will be first doesn't have to do the morning warm up tomorrow.

So. 3...2...1 Go!

Come on, come on or there will be an evening warm up too.

Is he fucking joking?

Beautiful, very nice indeed.

That's cool. You know I know it doesn't really interest you.

I am interested. No, really. I love castles, I love history!

Can you charge this up for me, please? And give me two tickets for 2 adults.

Hey, entrepreneur Not workin are ya?

Make him some coffee too so that he won't fall asleep.

- Blanka, do you want some too? - Hi.

Do you know that this place is haunted?

I'm not falling for this again, I might have fallen for it all those years ago.

We once stayed here over night you wouldn't believe it, come here...

There, on that wall appeared a small blue light.

and an outline of a human figure that somehow floated ...

- Come and have a look, you must see this. - Yeah whatever...

- Mr Leader? We are lost - We are all lost.

We as woman have no orienteering skills so technically we cannot accomplish the task...

and, according to physiology, we can not accomplish the task ...

What are you babbling about?

- Martina can't walk that far. It's 10 km. - Sorry.

Let's go!

Stay!

If you are unable to get from point A to point B,

at least climb that mountain.

And there, with natural artifacts you will camouflage yourself so that...

the enemy won't even see you. Is that clear?

This will help you. I will watch you, with binoculars.

And if I see you, you will run after the bus all the way to the campsite.

- I have asthma, and there are flowers everywhere. - You'll get used to it, girl.

Castle

Don't you get it?, Won't you listen?

- Wait, what about our bicycles? - They are hidden.

Even a wild pig will get horny from this stuff.

This stuff reeks.

I wanted that branch.

I smell like that fucking bus driver.

- Hi. - Hi.

Hi.

Hello.

What is that awful smell?

- What's stinking so much over here? - What?

Blanka? Pavel?

Blanka, Blanka!

Blanka!

- Why do you flirt with him? - There are those stones.

- Why don't you answer me? - Shhh, this is the spot.

- What if someone comes past? - Who will come past?

- Everyone goes to the castle. - Well I don't know, you never know.

Before noone came either... now we can have some fun.

- Come here, my teddy bear. - Don't pull it idiot!

Stop staring! twat.

The psychologist said to do everything as before...

Let's not over do it...

- Ouch, my foot. - What? - You're lying on my leg, god damnnit.

- How else can I fit in here? - If you'd just shut up we could have been doing it by now.

- and don't forget my panties too. - okay...

Mum, I'm lost. My bike broke.

- What? Honzik? - What are you doing here?

What are we doing? We were sunbathing And your father fell asleep.

Yeah. Where are the boys?

They went with those girls, apparently to 'shag'.

- Let's go... Take everything with you.

Forget everything what you just saw.

Yeah, Danny's parents...

I apologize ... I have to go...

It worked, now go...

That's my trumpet!

You little fuck, you're not getting my trumpet dirty with your saliva! Just you wait!

Where are you? Coward, I will chop you up into small pieces.

Can you hear me? Fucktard!

You slither really fast, I couldn't keep up with you.

That was awesome huh?

Hi. Where are you off to? Can I come with you?

I'm going to Borek something's happening.

Great, huh?

I guess this is something Borek won't ever fix...

What?!

- Let's go. - Wait, in here!

What the fuck are you looking at? Get out!

I know you're here. Come out before it's becomes any worse!

- What are you doing in here? This is a female toilet. - None of your business.

Get out or I'll call my husband! Pepik, there is some pervert in here!

Pervert? Get her away.

Look here get the fuck out!

Wait what are you doing?

- Danny! - Mum?

- What are you doing here? - I got kinda stuck here...

Stuck? How can you get stuck? This is a femle toilet!

Why did you even go there in the first place, Can you explain it to me?

*Choking* I can barely breathe.

- I'm gonna get someone to help! - No! No, Mum! - Danny!

- Please do not go anywhere. - Good afternoon.

Come on. The caretaker is coming...

- Dad! - What on earth are you doing there?

Can you manage?

- Can you slide in? - How the hell did this happen?

How did this happen?

He just got stuck in there. Do something, help.

He shouldn't have got there in the first place.

What's happening here?

Would you prefer a walk in the woods?

Does someone want sex?

- Have the boys returned yet? - Dunno.

This means that we will have some time for ourself.

Sorry.

- Yes? - Hi.

Hello. - Hey

Our businessman is on the job again eh?

- What kind of a life do you have? - What do you know?

- I have to end now. - I see.

If at the time you would have chosen me everything would be different.

- Whatever. You have nothing to say. - Do you want to try this?

- We were only talking... - I heard.

It smells so nice like you, Blanka.

You can't piss me off. Fucktard.

Drink up.

- Bro, get the fuck away! - What did I do?

Don't you feel a bit ashamed?

You will leave it here. Don't even think of touching it!

Kashta, run!

Where are we going?

Yes, Mum? I'm on the tractor with my uncle.

Really? Okay...

- Listen. - Someone wants to talk to you.

Hi, Filip. Why didn't you come to my farm?

- I'm Uncle Jonas. - Give me him.

You have crossed every fucking boundry buddy.

Absoulutely unbelievable. Escaping like that!

I'm gonna make your life hard for you Your gonna be grounded, cleaning... just you wait!

You have no idea, What I'm gonna do to you when you come back!

I'm gonna be guarding you day and night! This is the end buddy!

Girls, do you think the boys will get a boat and catch up with us?

They are immature puberty striken idiots! We will meet better ones.

- Your a bit angry arent you? - They are useless.

I swear Borek is stoned today.

Borek what's up with you today? Are you okay?

- Hey, Google! - What?

This is Google. He's a retriever. He finds everything.

Where is Grandma? Search!

We gave him to her when her mind started to deteriorate.

- Huh? - You'll see. Grandma?

- Grandma? - Oh hey boys! Welcome!

- She's alright! - Where did I put the newspapers?

Here they are. Will you take them? You'll get a decent amount of Koruna for these.

- No, Grandma, I'm Filip. - Why?

I'll leave some of our things here.

We have some things to do. I'll leave you with Honzik.

The small one over there...

Your so kind that you're leaving Filip here dear...

Let's go, quick before she changes her mind.

So Filip, Let me get you some cocoa.

Do you wanna go back to your childhood and ride on the cart down the hill, or what?

Awesome!

Is this what your grandma has to get hay with?

It's my cousins, he doesn't have a place for it in the city.

Wow, it's awesome!

- I'd better drive. - I'm wet.(again)

So, be prepared.

In record time.

- Shit, theyre going pretty fast! - Yes, everything is perfect!

What? What is this?

You cock suckers! Bastards!

- Pardon me! Sorry! - Hey now you ... !

Sorry.

Fish oil is good for you.

Open your mouth. Am! Am!

What did I want to do again? Oh yeah!

Open your mouth. Good.

Oh yeah! I wanted to give you a spoonful of medicine. So ...

- No, no. - It's okay my boy

After this cock up, we can't even go closer to them.

This bad luck is sticking to my penis.

Do you think the boys will still catch up with us?

- I haven't seen them today yet. - I hope they are okay.

Tea for beautiful girl? Most beautiful creature of the river.

Is he flirting with you or what?

Why are we such loosers? Girls are gone. The quad bike is fucked.

My mother's gonna kill me...

And you keep talking to me about some horny girls?

Calm down, man, for me these are not my best days.

What will my parents say about what we've done with Honzik?

Good is punished, buddy.

However agree with me that if all this time I liked Clara

maybe I wouldn't get pussy, but I'd have someone to love.

Thats nice... I don't even know where we are now.

Well here.

So in the middle of nowhere.

I don't want any intellectual girl, any blonde or any horny bitch anymore...

I want Clara.

We are at a scrap yard, with not even a boat nothing...

We are sitting in a fucking combine harvester!

But even in a combine harvester we can come up with something good.

what?

Watch.

I'm gonna kill myself because of that asshole!

Well, at least you called me, I'm looking for him for 3 days!

I'll kill him when I see him! Hi, Mum.

So! Where is Filip?

Why are you looking for him? He's here.

Who is this mum?

- Well, our Filip. - For fuck's sake!

- This is different! - Here we go!

It would be good to catch up with the girls, They're gonna be so horny when they see us.

- Push harder. - Fishies, fisherman are coming!

Hey, look it's the boys!

Guys, don't go there. There are thresholds, you won't be able to go down it.

and there is also a waterfall, careful!

- Hello, girls. - We're a little late...

Nice vehicle boys, you could do so many things in it.

- We needed a boat. - In the evening we'll give you a ride.

I don't know, today we're going to the fireman's disco

- Us too! - Yeah!

- Well, that's great. - Daniel, where is Honzik?

- Danny! I'm gonna kill that boy! - I should disappear. See you soon.

Hey, great car! 500 koruna for it!

Go on!

Pussyhole.

- Here! - Guys, wait!

Shit, no oars!

- Help? - Hey scout, throw me that oar!

Hurry up!

- Thank you.

Save the Scout, throw them an oar!

Here we go. Oars!

- Let's go. - No, guys!

Borek, help them!

What do you mean "help them"? They are too far away.

Borek ...

That was awesome!

Great, Dad!

You better get out of here, before things settle down here.

Thank you. See you soon.

Can you imagine it? The boys left Honzik at Filip's grandmother's.

Filip's mother called me that she picked Honzik up.

You mean that Honzik is with that crazy bitch?

Hi, how are you?

I don't know. Do you think that they will be there?

- Who? - Danny. I mean the boys.

Of course, they promised you it. They won't wanna miss that.

Hurry, so we can get there in time.

He doesn't want me. I look bad.

Let's fix that. Where are your clothes?

Wow!

- Do you see?

Oh my god, what kind of lame rural entertainment is this? They wouldn't go in would they?

But it is music. And where is music there are also females ... We promised them we would come.

- Are you satisfied with yourself? - Me?

I wanted to make it easier for you from the start, But as you wish!

We will go a longer route!

We will accomplish the way to the Falcon in a self aware manner, understood?

This means that we will behave like we are in the middle of ...

We will pretend like we are in a zone closely guraded by the enemy.

Follow me!

Ouch. Fuck. Shit.

Wait, what is he doing?

Now I showed you how it should not be done.

Let's go. At least we will get out of here.

I will get back to you ... along the northern path.

Please pull out of here!

This is too crowded, They won't come here.

Filip.

Let's go and meet them.

Not so fast. Be careful.

Now what can I start flirting?

If you want Clara.

You must impress her with something first.

Here we have Frantisek and his axe, we also need a brave volunteer from the audience.

- Who wants to volunteer? - Go for it.

- Great. Please applause for this young man.

- This is a mistake ... - Don't be afraid it's just a bit of fun.

Frantisek is our clown. Pretend that you are afraid, otherwise he might get offended.

Holy shit.

Danny?

Hey.

Do you want to come for a walk?

For me, a green cocktail, please.

So you did still stayed? And where are your parents?

The green cocktail isn't as sweet as you.

They have already gone What are you doing here?

- Well my bus is leaving soon

so I thought you ... that I will meet you here and get your number.

Better give me by green one, I prefer it more than vodka.

- We've run out. - Don't just stand there bring it.

- We don't have it anymore. - Well, look.

- Next time Be more careful yeah?

Wait, we're not done, there is one more little thing.

- Now make some sounds. - What sounds?

Just sounds.

Wow you quench thirst big style.

If you want you can come with me to the firestation.

Let me show you the hoses. They squirt pretty well.

Dude, piss off.

We have our own fuck buddies.

Fuck buddies? You? I want to see them.

Don't you think your sitting in the wrong place?

Danny is waiting for his friend who disappeared somewhere.

Disappered? I thought he's pissing about on the stage with that grandad.

This needs applause.

- I didn't know... - Get up.

- I just wanted ... - Fuck off.

Hey where were you? We were looking for you everywhere.

Finally, he's got a girl. Let's drink to that eh?

Wait, what are you doing?

So far nothing, but if you want ...

- I don't want it. - What?

I just want to look!

- Should I step on your toes, like in the good old days? - your doing it anyway.

I'll could kill that boy.

Are you not cold? I could keep you warm.

Do I have to drink it all up myself?

We aren't thirsty.

Did I ask you?

We can talk another day, boyo.

- I'm going back to the hall. - Well.

- Wait for me behind the curtain. We will think something up. - Yes! Yes!

I can not understand why no one has drowned for you yet.

Hey. I have a message for you from Danny.

- You're kidding. - No, I'm not, wait for him behind the curtain.

- Hey. Apparently you wanted to talk to me? - Me?

Well ... Clara told me that.

Clara?

Get off me you fucking scum.

Relax, Pathfinder. And it doesn't fucking work...

- Come on. - That way. - Yeah, as I remember exactly.

- Are you sure that it was here? - Of course, this is the warehouse.

- Let's go! - You are crazy.

There is a mattress here.

Come to me.

Clara! Clara!

- Hello. - Hi.

- Pour me two greens and a lemonade. - There is no green left.

Well then something else!

Would you like to take part in the competition "beauty queen"?

Well I have not thought about it.

What is a sexy lady like you doing in this shithole?

Fuck off her you faggot.

What do you care you asshole.

Oh, fuck off.

- What are you doing you slag? - Who you calling a slag, you firefighter.

Where is Radka?

- Why? - I thought you were here together.

No, I am actually hiding from her.

It's just ... I like being with you under the table.

Frantisek, no axes for today.

I thought you were interested in me.

Danny is all I hear. I wanted you all that time.

Fire! Fire! Fire!

Sorry, but we're ... just here ... so ...

- Come. - Wait ... is a little silly.

Mum, Dad, will you be getting up now? I made you breakfast.

Do I still have to go to that grandma again?

We'll see, if you behave then no.

I will dad. I won't ever touch that fire engine again.

- Hello. - Hi.

Help me! Will fall will kill you.

What are you doing, you fool? Stop it!

Dominic! Dominic!

Dominic, for God's sake catch him there!

- Let's get out of here. - Let's go.

Are you gonna let me hang here like this?

Is this for all my care I put into you? Come back!

Mum?

Filip?

Filip, what is it?

Now you're dead, I'm telling you.

Try to escape now, and I will kill you!

- Maybe another time, mum. - Filip, get back over here!

Is this what I get for my care I put in you? Come back Vendula!

This is awesome haha.

Help me! Take me down!

Translation: Nordost.2012