All language subtitles for L.A.Law.S03E12.The.Accidental.Jurist.1080p.HULU.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-BurCyg_track3_[eng]

- Hi, got a minute?
- Hi, come on in.

Oh, you got a desk full of work.

Maybe I should come
back another time.

Are you kidding?
I haven't seen you in weeks.

Get in here.
Want a cup of coffee?

No. No, um...

Abby, I've got
something to tell you.

Is everything okay with Stuart?

Oh, yeah, everything's great.

No, this is something else.

I know this is probably
none of my business.

And I'm probably sticking my
nose in where it doesn't belong.

Tell me.

Ann: I really wish that I wasn't

the one bringing this to you.

And it's conceivable
that you already know,

in which case it is really
none of my business.

But if you don't know
and if other people do...

Ann, what? [chuckles]

Bill Ringstrom is married.

[indistinct chatter]

Good morning. You're married.

Come on.

Got any kids?

- Two boys.
- You jerk!

You scummy jerk!

I suppose I'm supposed to sit
still now for sixteen bars

of "My Wife
Doesn't Understand Me?"

My wife and I have accumulated
our list of grievances,

but I don't know anyone married
for 12 years who hasn't?

We're as happy as a couple
living in Pomona

without central
air conditioning can be.

You lied to me.

At the heart of all this,
you are a liar.

Hey, you're the one
who set the conditions.

No histories, no dark colors.

I kept waiting for some sign
of curiosity from you.

Not just about
whether I was married,

but about anything personal.

Like where I went
when we left the hotel room.

How come we didn't
see each other at night?

I just followed your lead.

And if I had asked
you if you were married,

would you have
told me the truth?

I thought about it enough.

Yeah, I think I would have.

Abigail, I don't blame you
for being mad, but believe me,

I did not go looking for this,
it just happened.

And I don't want it to end.

I'm a decent guy who is
totally over-matched

by what there is between us.

Decent?

Decent guys don't screw
around on their wives.

[door closes]

[theme music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Continuing on,
Martin vs. Noonan.

Motion to compel
document production,

motion to compel
interrogatories,

motion for sanctions,
motion for costs,

motion to dismiss.

I've gone through
all the motions.

Cute.

[baby crying]

- Hi, baby.
Brackman: Ann, forgive me.

Brackman: I wasn't going
to inquire,

but since it's endeavoring
to participate,

may I now ask what that baby
is doing in this staff meeting?

We fired our nanny
and until we get

a replacement,
Kelsey's gonna be coming in.

Brackman: Not that we all
don't celebrate

your domestic bliss,
but in that this child

is already cutting
into your billables

at the rate of 15 hours
per week,

I shudder to imagine the impact
on your profitability

should you start lugging
the thing into the office.

The only alternative
is for me to stay home,

resulting in the forfeiture
of about 35 billables per week,

which at a 185 per hour

coupled with
the 20 percent markup,

I noticed you've been
assessing means

that either I lug this
thing into work

or the firm loses
about $8,000 weekly.

Why don't you decide, Douglas?

And what about
the McMahon deposition?

This is major
corporate litigation, Ann.

I've got it covered, Douglas,
don't worry.

Fine, moving on.

- Fitzpatrick versus Steinmetz.
- Yeah, wrongful death.

We're preparing for trial.
Endlessly. Right, Dorothy?

We have a lot
of ground to cover.

This is the construction
accident?

Yeah, Dorothy has become
our resident expert

on the structural properties
of reinforced concrete.

Good, Michael, Leonard
versus Dowel Food Corporation.

Matt Leonard just signed
a three-million-dollar

endorsement contract
with Dowel Foods.

They make Cruncho Cereal.

The Matt Leonard?
The Olympic gold medalist?

- Mm-hmm.
- He's our client?

- You're kidding.
Michael: That's right.

Dowel Foods was planning to put

his face in the cereal box,

develop a major ad campaign

around him, only now

Matt wants to come out
of the closet.

- He's a homo?
Michael: He's gay.

And because of that,
they want out of the contract.

I don't blame them. Let him go
do fruit and nutties.

[man chuckles] Alright, nutties.

What's the status, Michael?

Well, trial starts
this week, maybe.

This week?
The case just started.

Well, we're going
the private trial route.

We rent a retired judge,
we rent a courtroom,

we stipulate on the facts,
and we try it.

- And it's official.
- Just like a regular trial.

Both parties agree
to be bound by the decision.

It's expensive,
though, isn't it?

Not really, we pay the judge
about 250 an hour.

We have to pay for the room,
but it sure beats going through

three years of motions
waiting for a court date.

The only tricky part is,
we're having trouble

agreeing on a judge.

Sounds like a loser to me, Mike,

no matter what judge you pick.

Michael: Maybe,
Matt doesn't care.

He doesn't want to live
a secret life anymore.

Even if it means
losing the contract.

If you ask me, he should have
kept quiet and taken the money.

[baby crying]

[Brackman groans]

- Silence!
- It's okay, sweetheart.

Shh!

It's okay, sweetheart.

It's okay.

[keys rattling]

Does she want to see
Uncle Arnie?

Here, give her to daddy.

You want to go see daddy?
You want to see daddy?

Oh, I can get her.

People, please.

She likes these keys.

I think she's looking
at you, Leland.

- Yeah.
- Here's my baby. Yes.

Hi, honey.

♪ Hush little baby,
don't you cry ♪

♪ Daddy's gonna bring
you lullaby ♪♪

That's it, we're adjourned.

You're gonna hold it.

[humming]

[whistling]

I don't mind
a progressive judge, Mickey,

but Finkelstein's off the map.

Oh, come on,
he's fair, he's smart.

William: He's a lunatic.

Willis: How about Adler?

Orange County Hall of famer.

- Charles Rosenberg.
- Lazy.

Never reads the pleadings.
How about O'Neil?

- William: We both picked him.
- No.

What do you mean, no?
Here he is.

Judge Lawrence O'Neil,
number ten on your list.

I threw him in there
by default.

I had to pick ten,
there was no one else.

The point is, this judge
is common to both lists.

- Well, he's unacceptable.
- Come on, Counselor.

You gonna do this
in good faith or not?

Conservatism aside,
O'Neil is fair, he's honest,

he's got a four star rating,
and we both picked him.

What the hell more
could you want?

- Is he available?
- He can start tomorrow.

- Okay, O'Neil it is.
- Good.

I'll call him and I'll be in
touch within the hour.

Remember, this is sealed
to everybody but the parties,

the judge,
the stenographer and us.

- I remember.
- Okay, I'll talk to you soon.

Right.

Matt.

Come on in.

[sighs] How did it go?

Great, we're gonna go tomorrow.

- Hi, Mike.
- Hi, Abby.

- How's it going?
- Mm.

- We just picked a judge.
- Who is it?

The Honorable Lawrence O'Neil.

He's conservative,
but he's fair.

Conservative,
how the hell can we go

with somebody conservative,
I thought that--

We've been using this new

private investigator

named Stephanie Hall.

She finds things out
that nobody else knows.

Mr. Kuzak,
what are you telling me?

What I'm telling you
is that unknown

to the defendant or his attorney

the Honorable
Lawrence O'Neil... is gay.

[doorbell rings]

David: Whew!

I don't mind telling you,
it is wet out there.

Let me help you
with some of the stuff.

[sighs]

How about a hug?

- I feel better already.
- Can I get you a drink?

A drink would be great.

How was the trip?

Roxanne, these five days
alone on the road

have been extremely productive,
personal growth wise.

And let me just say this
from the start,

I think you know
the depth to which

my love for you runs.

I know.

And I think you know
that there is nothing

I wouldn't do for you.

I know that, too.

Why then, I ask myself,

is this the winter
of our discontent?

I don't know.

Well, permit me
to tell you why.

It is because I have been
inattentive to your needs.

- David don't--
David: Please, let me say this.

I also ask myself,
is it possible

to be a loving helpmate
and husband

when I'm on the road
half the year?

Is it reasonable
to expect a full-time wife

when I'm only being
a part-time husband?

The answer? A resounding no.

The solution?

Take on a business partner.
Someone younger.

Someone for whom the road
is a pathway to opportunity,

not an obstacle to happiness.

Thus liberating me
to remain home

where I can run things
from right here in the house.

David, the problem
isn't being apart.

It's being together.

I need time.

Well, of course you do.

- Take all the time you need.
- No!

I need time by myself.

You mean alone?

Yes.

I think we should
separate for a while.

I just got home.

- I know.
David: Are you sure about this?

Yes.

Well, then...

I guess I should go.

No. I'm the one who wants this,
I should be the one to leave.

No, it's alright.

I'm already packed.

I just go to a hotel.

I'm used to hotels.

- I'm sorry.
David: No, don't be.

This is what you need.

This is what you should have.

Aren't you angry?

Why would I be angry?

[rain spattering]

[door closes]

[rain spattering]

[moans]

Hmm, this is an almost
perfect night here.

[laughs]

What do you mean "almost"?

I'm hungry.

And all you have in that
refrigerator are olives.

That's pathetic, Allison.

Well, let's go out.

No, look at it,
it's raining out there.

I am not getting
out of this bed.

So, if you could have
absolutely anything...

Fettuccini
and red clam sauce...

and a mixed bean salad.

Would you settle
for Kung Pao chicken

and steamed rice delivered?

That sounds great.

[grunts]

[phone keys clacking]

Hi, this is Allison Gottlieb.

Can I have a number three
and a number six

combination dinner delivered?

Oh, come on.

I know, I know, the rain.

Oh, great, and don't forget
the hot mustard

and-- and no MSG.

[sighs] Forty-five minutes.

Forty... five... minutes?

- Yeah, 45 minutes.
- Forty-five minutes.

Mm.

[laughs]

[doorbell rings]

[chuckles]

- That couldn't be them.
- Oh...

[thunder rumbling]

[footsteps approaching]

[rain spattering]

[sighs]

Dave, what are you doing here?

Just an impulsive gesture.

I thought you might like
to grab a little supper.

I don't really think so.

Yeah, it is kind of late.

Hey, you wanna hear
about my latest?

Alison: Um...

A concert video

of the great Moslem diva,

Um Khalthoum?

[chuckles]

Look, Dave, I-- I kind of have

company right now.

Oh, so...

you're not alone,
in other words.

Right.

Another time it is.

- Why don't you call me?
- I will, I'll call you.

Okay.

Dave... are you alright?

Uh... in point of fact,
no, I'm not.

It seems that my wife
and I have separated.

Oh, Dave, I'm sorry.

Not that I should be
burdening you with my

gloomy circumstances, it's...

just that I have
no one else to turn to.

Why don't you come in?
You're gonna drown out there.

No, I'm fine, it's alright.

Dave, come in.

Phew.

December 18th, 1988.

The post office

puts a 25 percent
editorial minimum

on piggyback distribution.

Either of you
familiar with that?

- No. [clears throat]
- No.

Basically, it means putting
catalogs and supplements

in polybags and inserting
them into magazines.

My point being this,

the post office ruling
killed it.

Sam Addonizio put his life
savings into polybag equipment.

I could've bought him out
for the change in my pocket.

Did I? No. What I did was

give him 80 cents on the dollar
and a lease back.

I'm carrying him while he
converts his operation.

He is now putting out
shrink-wrapped theme erasers.

Pumpkin shaped for Halloween,

heart shaped
for Valentine's Day,

on his way to having
the greatest year of his life.

Is this not the exact same way
I have dealt with Roxanne?

Victor. You know her.

I-- it's a real
tough situation, Dave.

Be assured, in no way,

shape or form,
am I maligning her.

But I have never
said no to this woman.

I have tried to be a support,
a mainstay, a bulwark.

I have tried to be a man
for all seasons.

Where did I fail?

It isn't necessarily
that you failed, Dave.

David: I know I am not
a perfect person.

But, hey, we knew this
from the get go.

There are sexier guys than me.

Guys with more wit,
more native intelligence.

But are there any
guys more loving,

more sensitive to the needs
of their lifemate?

No, sir. No, ma'am.

When it comes to loyalty,
Dave Meyer has no equal.

When my Roxanne
says, "Sit, Dave," I sit.

This is who I am.

[doorbell rings]

[chuckles]

- That's the food.
- Food.

I could eat something.

[instrumental music]

Yeah.

- Hi.
- Is Lieutenant Ringstrom in?

Oh, you just missed him.

My name's Abigail Perkins,
I'm an attorney.

I have some documents
that need his signature.

Oh, uh, well, come on in.

I'm on the phone.

- Make yourself comfortable.
- Thank you.

I'll be just a minute.

[chatter and music on TV]

[laughter on TV]

- Hi.
- Hi.

Okay, yeah, bye.

Okay, now, so you have
some papers for Bill to sign?

Yeah, I'm an attorney.
And I was in Pomona.

Oh., well, do you want
to leave them with me?

I'm sure Bill could
get them back to you.

They're my originals.

I'm sorry, I should
have called before.

- Oh, he just pulled away.
- It's okay.

Well, I wish there was
something I could do to help.

Uh, no, that's fine, um, I'll
catch up to him at the office.

Okay, well, I'll tell him
that you stopped by.

- That'd be great.
- Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

I worked for the Brantleys
for almost two years.

Little Monica was just
a tiny baby when I started.

Yes, she was just like you.
Just a tiny, tiny baby.

I love babies.

God, I miss Monica.

I cried myself to sleep
when I had to say goodbye.

Ann: Then it wasn't
your decision to leave?

Well, when Monica reached four,

they felt they no longer
needed a nanny.

So it wasn't like
I was fired or anything.

Oh, I didn't mean to suggest
that, I was just curious

as to why
they didn't keep you on.

The Brantleys like me very much,

Ms. Kelsey. Monica loved me.

And I loved her. Maybe too much.

How do you mean?

Penelope: Well, I became
very attached.

Ann: What do you mean,
attached?

She'd started to call
me mummy,

which made the end
extremely traumatic.

I wouldn't want to go through
anything that painful again.

So what you're saying, then,
is that you would guard

against becoming
attached to this baby?

I would be very devoted
to Kelsey, don't worry.

But you wouldn't love her
as much as the Brantley child.

- Ann.
- What's the point of this?

The point is that you're
gonna take deliberate

steps to stay
distant from this baby.

- Ann, for God's sake!
- I'm not going to be distant.

I'm not a distant person.

You did say that you
did not want to become attached

to another baby, did you not?

Yes, but what I meant
by that was--

Thank you, Penny.
Nothing further.

Stuart.

[Kelsey crying]

Look, um...

I'm going to just walk
on out of here now.

Unless of course, you
need me to post bail.

[whistling]

Stuart: Does the prosecution
rest now?

Stuart,
I have to ask questions.

I can't grab the first person
who walks through the door.

Ann, 20 people have
come through that door,

and you ground everyone
of them up into mulch.

Four of them couldn't
speak English.

One of them wanted
her boyfriend to move in.

I'm not even gonna discuss
the convicted felon.

You've lost your mind,
you know that?

Stuart, we're talking
about our baby.

No, it seems to me
we're talking about you.

You expect them
to measure up to you!

You want to do it alone? Fine.

I have a deposition
tomorrow all day anyway.

So why don't you do it all
by your reasonable self?

- I will.
- Fine, fine.

So I called Mr. Richardson here

and told him
about my intentions.

I explained to him
that I could no longer

conceal my sexual identity
in good conscience.

And how did he respond?

Matt: He claimed
I was no longer qualified

to endorse his cereal product.

He said my being a homosexual
made me incapable

of personifying a macho
or a wholesome image.

And he told me that the public,

especially the children...

would never accept
a gay person as a role model.

And how did you feel
about that statement, sir?

Objection,
his feelings are irrelevant.

Overruled, he can answer.

I devoted every day of the last
ten years to track and field.

And as a reward for that,
I was given the opportunity

to compete
in the Olympic Games.

And with that opportunity,
I earned the right

to stand on that center block

and have a gold medal
put around my neck.

This country has been
very proud of me, Mr. Kuzak.

I've been given parades.

My hometown named
a street after me.

I went to the White House
to meet the President.

I think that I've earned
all of this.

And Mr. Richardson says that
it should all be extinguished.

Because in his mind,
a gay man

cannot ever be a hero...

or a role model...

or a person others
would ever admire.

You ask me how I feel.

I feel... repulsed.

And if he's right,
if this truly is a country

that would summarily
reject someone

on the basis
of his sexual preference...

if that's what this nation is...

then I'm only sorry
that I represented it

as proudly as I did
at Seoul last summer.

Thank you, Mr. Leonard.

I have no further questions.

Quite a speech, Mr. Leonard.

You're obviously
a very intelligent man.

And as an intelligent man,
are you saying

there's absolutely no foundation
to my clients reservation

about your being a spokesman
for his product?

I'm saying
there is no foundation

for his blanket assumption
that people will

automatically reject a person

because of his
homosexuality, yes.

Well, then tell us, Mr. Leonard,

why you bothered
concealing yours until now.

Matt: I often ask myself
the same question.

William: Yes, well,
I'm asking you to answer it.

- I don't know.
William: You don't know?

You didn't tell your own parents
until six months ago, did you?

And some of your friends still
don't know, isn't that right?

Not all of them
know, but that's--

So, Mr. Leonard,
you testify under oath

that my client
has no right to fear

you're telling the world

when you yourself have
been afraid to tell

your own parents
and your own friends.

I admit I used to be afraid,

but I refuse to live
the lie any longer.

But you lived that lie
long enough to sign this

three million dollar contract,
didn't you?

Michael: Objection.
Judge O'Neil: Overruled.

Why didn't you tell my client
that you were gay

before signing this deal,
Mr. Leonard?

I didn't think it was relevant.

You didn't think
it was relevant?

This is a jock-oriented cereal,

targeting macho ads
to the male youth,

and you didn't think
it was relevant?

Objection, asked and answered.

William: I am giving the witness
a chance to change his answer.

Now, under oath, Mr. Leonard,

you really didn't think
it was relevant?

I have nothing further.

[instrumental music]

Did you come to my home
to terrorize me,

or did you just wanna mess
with my wife's head?

Bill, I'm a lawyer.

I spent the whole week
feeding myself one justification

after another
for keeping this thing going.

And then hating myself
for not having the guts

to just walk away.

I was hoping if I went to your
house and met your wife...

I saw her face...

that it would make it easier
for me to do the right thing.

Did it?

Yeah.

I love you,
that's not gonna change.

Tell me something.

Am I the first person
you've ever done this with?

Yes.

- I don't believe you.
Bill: I swear to God.

Well, I bet I won't be the last.
You're too good at it.

Abby, please, don't kick me
out of your life--

I have to.

Your wife is gonna find out
about you one of these days.

And I don't wanna be the woman
that you're with when she does.

Okay.

[instrumental music]

Paul: He's not being fired
just because he's gay.

It's because he cannot perform
the job functions

for which he was hired.

Which are?

Well, many things.

We need somebody
who exemplifies masculinity.

A hero people want to emulate.

A man boys wanna grow up to be,

and girls wanna
grow up to marry.

A homosexual does not
project that image, I'm sorry.

William: But isn't that a form
of prejudice, Mr. Richardson?

Paul: Absolutely.

Hey, it would be nice

to live in a society
that didn't discriminate

on the basis of sexuality,

or a society that didn't attach
stereotypical stigmas

to its gay members.

But we do not live
in that society.

This is still a world where
homosexuals are frowned upon

or disapproved of...

or sometimes even condemned.

And do you agree
with that mindset?

Definitely not.

I wish we were all more
enlightened,

I really do.

But so far we're not.

And I am trying
to move a product.

And I am not gonna pay
out three million dollars

to be endorsed by a guy
everybody's gonna dismiss.

William: Thank you,
Mr. Richardson. Nothing further.

My client being a heterosexual
was a material part

of his job function?

Basically, yes.

Well, then why isn't it

one of the terms
of the contract?

Richardson:
It wasn't an express term maybe,

but there is a morality
clause in there--

Ah, excuse me, are you
saying to this court

that it's immoral
to be homosexual?

[scoffs] No, no, no, no,
I wasn't saying that.

Then the morality clause
doesn't apply, does it?

All I'm saying is that
when we did that deal,

we all thought he was straight.

Michael: Did you ever have
any discussions

with my client
about his sexual preference?

Do you ever make any inquiries
about his sexual preference?

No.

Michael: So you never talked

about it, you never asked him

about it, not one single word

about it appears
in a 22 page contract.

But suddenly you're saying it's
a material term in his deal.

This man is not what we thought
we were getting.

It's as simple as that.

Well, at the press conference

following the signing
of this contract,

you stated that Mr. Leonard
came on board

the Cruncho's team
because, and I quote

"He stood for courage,

for discipline,
for determination,

and most of all,
because he was a champion."

These were your words,
weren't they, Mr. Richardson?

- Richardson: Yes.
- Then tell us, please, sir.

Which one of these attributes
no longer applies?

I'm waiting, Mr. Richardson.

Is a gay man incapable of being
courageous or determined?

Is it unthinkable that a
homosexual could be a champion?

- Your Honor, he's badgering.
Judge O'Neil: Sustained.

One question
at a time, Mr. Kuzak.

Alright, Mr. Richardson,
here's your one question.

Take a look at my client
and tell me what he was before

that he is not still
at this very moment.

I don't want a homosexual
representing my cereal.

Michael: Thank you,
Mr. Richardson.

And I sure hope that someday
you do get a chance to live

in that society that's as
enlightened as you are.

- William: Objection.
- Withdrawn. Nothing further.

And isn't it true Ms. McMahon,
that you diverted

some of your company funds
for your own personal use?

The only money that I allocated
was to reimburse my own--

Your personal wardrobe,
your vacation.

Let her finish, Mr. Brianson--

- Let me ask, Ms. Kelsey.
- You did ask.

Now stop beating her up and give
her a chance to answer.

I'm sorry. Perhaps I'll try to
go a bit more gingerly.

[knocks on door]

Excuse me.

What's the problem?

There's a gigantic
screw up at the IRS

and I got to get down
there right away.

Who's gonna take care
of Kelsey?

Stuart: I don't know, my
secretary is out, maybe Roxanne.

Ann: No, Arnie keeps her running
around. She'd be too distracted.

Stuart: It's the same
with all the secretaries.

Douglas is in his office,
I could ask him.

Give her to me.

Ann, you're in the
middle of a deposition.

She'll sit next to me,
she'll be fine.

- You can't take a baby in a--
- Stuart!

I am not leaving her
with a total stranger.

Go, we're fine.

- You sure?
- We're fine.

Um, I got a little
babysitting snafu here.

We're gonna have
an extra visitor.

[chuckles]

I object to the sleazy trick.

Sleazy trick?

Yeah, this is all about control,

you're not fooling anyone here.

This is a way for you
to exercise dominion

over these proceedings.

You have to take care
of the baby.

You don't like the way
the questioning is going?

You know, I build up
a little momentum here

and all of a sudden
it's time out.

The baby needs me, what crap.

You are the one
who's full of crap.

Let the record show that
Ms. Kelsey has brought

a newborn infant into this room

to willfully and purposely
disrupt this proceeding.

This is the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.

This probably isn't even your
baby, you probably rented it

for the day just so you could
screw up this deposition.

- This is my baby, mister.
- I bet this is your idea.

- She's not screwing up...
- This is just like you.

If that's what you wanna do,
you wanna bring it in here?

I'll subpoena the little bastard
and I'll drag it into court.

Ann: You woke her up,
I hope you're happy.

Brianson: I want the baby's
intrusive crying on the record.

And I also want the record
to reflect a piercing,

shrill like shriek
emanating from said infant.

- Will you shut up?
- I can't take this.

- Ms. Kelsey now threatening me.
- I'm gonna get a migraine.

I'm gonna sue you for this, too.

- Sue me all you want.
Ann: Quiet. Everybody, quiet!

You corrupt puddle of pus.

Shut up!

This deposition is over,
I want everybody out.

I want everybody out!

Don't worry, honey, it's okay.

I said out!

It's alright, baby.

I wasn't ready for how boring
my life would be.

How endlessly Dave
would go on about junk mail.

Audio cassette promotion,
point of purchase displays.

This is my work.
This is what I do for a living.

It's what pays for the roof
over our head,

the clothes on our backs,
the automobiles in our garage.

Those are things,
I don't care about things.

Why did you marry me?

It's a fair question.
Why did you?

I was alone.

I was, uh... ashamed.

I was a 38-year-old woman
who couldn't pay her bills.

I was scared.

So you married a good daddy
who would take care of you.

And make you safe.

Yes.

Rubens: But it didn't
work out that way, did it?

Roxanne: Obviously.

Why do you think?

You're the expert, you tell me.

Because Dave Meyer
isn't your daddy.

And you're not his little girl.

He wants sex,
romance, companionship.

- Exactly.
Rubens: He wants a wife.

Rubens: Not a scared,
helpless little girl.

We had an agreement.

He knew how I felt.

I didn't marry him
under false pretenses.

You make me accept
you the way you are,

yet you refuse to accept me
the way I am.

You make me beg for every
single crumb of affection.

You make me feel
ashamed of who I am.

This is not having an agreement.

I was wrong, okay?

I thought I could do it.

I tried to do it, and I can't.

No! No, you married me
to come in from the cold.

Now that you're in,
you want to push me out.

- That's not true.
David: You want the truth?

Okay. Here's the truth.

I will no longer feel
ashamed of who I am.

I will no longer apologize
for being a rich schmuck

with a postage meter
and an up-to-date mailing list.

Either you accept Dave Meyer
for who he is

and you agree to be missus,
underline, Mrs. Dave Meyer...

or we can end this
marriage right now

and you'll never have to be
embarrassed by me again.

[instrumental music]

[door closes]

Well, gentlemen...

you've presented
an interesting dilemma.

- Are we ready to go?
- Yes, sir.

Judge O'Neil: On the one hand,
you can't fire somebody

just because he's gay.

On the other hand,
you can fire him

if he can't do the job.

Now, the question here

is whether somebody
can be deemed

unable to do the job per se

because of his status
as a homosexual.

Well, fortunately, I...

I don't have to resolve
that question

because before I consider
whether a contract

has been breached,
I must first be satisfied

that a valid contract
was formed.

And here... it wasn't.

The defendant clearly thought
he was getting an individual

capable of projecting
a macho persona,

and the plaintiff clearly
concealed his homosexuality,

with full knowledge, in my
opinion that the defendant

would never have made that deal
if he'd known the true facts.

I believe this nondisclosure
was material.

I find there to be no valid
formation of a contract.

And I hereby rule in favor
of the defendant,

Dowel Food Corporation.

I will have this drawn up
with copies

to be sent to the parties,
that is all.

William: Thank you very much,
Your Honor.

- Thank you very much.
- Congratulations.

Michael: I'm sorry, Matt.

You did your best.

Why don't we walk over to my
office? We can-- we can talk.

No, I-- I, uh...

I-- I'm gonna have
to walk this off. [sniffles]

Let me, um...

Let's talk later.
I-- I gotta get out of here.

Judge O'Neil: Mr. Kuzak...

a moment of your time
in chambers, please.

Take a seat.

I'm a very conservative judge,
Mr. Kuzak.

I'm a little curious
as to why you selected me.

Michael: Well, your reputation
for fairness,

among other things.

Would those other things

have anything to do
with Stephanie Hall?

I beg your pardon?

A private investigator

by the name of Stephanie Hall

has been asking

pointed questions
about my personal life.

And a little, uh,
digging of my own reveals

that she's sometimes
employed by your firm.

I have no doubt
that my reputation

played its part
in your selection, Mr. Kuzak

and frankly, I think it stinks.

I had a very tough case to try.

I didn't want to make it tougher

by encountering
any unfair prejudice.

I figured you wouldn't
condemn a person

based on his sexuality.

That's well put, counselor.

But the truth is
that you're the one

who's guilty of prejudice here.

You automatically assumed
that my private lifestyle

would factor
into my professional judgment.

Do you also make that assumption
about heterosexual judges?

I didn't assume anything.

I was hoping to find somebody
who recognized

that gay people can be heroes,
that they can endorse products.

And I'll be the first
to applaud your cause.

But as a gay person,
let me also tell you,

I'll be the first to recognize

that public acceptance
is not here yet.

Do you think I'd be elected
or re-elected judge

if people knew the truth
about me? Uh-huh.

If anything, my being
gay hurt your case.

It made me all too aware.

People don't want to see
our faces on cereal boxes.

Thanks for the bone, judge.

You just gave me
grounds for appeal.

Excuse me?

You said your being gay
could have

hurt my case,
suggesting possible

judicial bias against us.

Judicial bias?

My ruling was completely fair.

You damn well know it.

All I know is that I have to do
whatever I can

to protect my client.

And that means taking advantage
of your admission here

if that's the only way I can
open this thing up again.

That is a total long shot,
counselor.

Which I have nothing
to lose by taking.

Look...

I don't want to expose
your private life, Your Honor.

That's not my intention here.

But I have to do everything
I can to serve Matt Leonard

or I will be guilty
of malpractice.

But if you were to set aside
your verdict

of your own accord for whatever
reasons you decide, then...

I don't suppose any of this
stuff about your personal life

would have to come out.

Right or wrong, counselor

I have decided to keep
my sexual identity a secret.

Mainly for electoral survival.

But over the years...

I've asked myself
a thousand times...

what would happen if somebody
threatened to expose me

or extort me
in the middle of a trial?

I've never known exactly
how I'd respond.

Now I do.

My ruling stands.

You do whatever
you think you have to do.

[door closes]

[indistinct chatter]

[telephone ringing]

[David clears throat]

Hi.

Where were you?

I spent the night
at the Sportsman's Lodge.

I was worried about you.

Really?

I'd never seen you
so angry before.

It was uncharacteristic of me.

- I apologize.
- Don't.

That's what we go
to a therapist for.

It's no excuse
for acting like a bully.

Especially to the woman that
I love more than life itself.

You see, that's the kind
of stuff that I hate.

What stuff?

"The woman I love
more than life itself."

I never know what to say
when you talk like that.

Sorry.

And then you do that.

What?

Apologize.

David,
if we're going to make it,

we've got to start being a lot
more honest with each other.

Toward that end then...

I miss sleeping in our bed.

I miss that first vision
of you when I open my eyes.

- You're doing it again.
- [sighs] Sorry.

No, no, no,
what I mean to say is--

David... come home.

You mean it?

Yes, I do.

This is something, then.

- A man, a woman--
- Dave!

Right, right, right.

I'll be home by 6:00.

[instrumental music]

Well, that's about it.

Your only shot
is to claim judicial bias

and try to overturn the verdict.

- Do you think he was biased?
- No.

But what I think and what I can
argue are two different things.

And if I did get a new trial,

now what would be my chances?

Michael: Lousy.

The new judge would probably
see it the same as O'Neil.

But if I can just get
the verdict set aside,

at least we're back in the game
again with new cards to play.

I'm sure I could settle
and get you something.

Nuisance value, if nothing else.

The price being
Judge O'Neil's privacy?

The price being that, yes.

You think his ruling
was fair, right?

I do.

[sighs] Then I'm
not sacrificing him.

That man has just
as much right to stay private

as I do to go public.

I'm not gonna destroy a person
over nuisance value, no way.

I think that's probably best.

[sighs]

Well, thank you
for everything, Mr. Kuzak.

I'll-- I'll see you around.

Matt.

It's not often I find myself

actually admiring
one of my clients.

[chuckles] Yeah.

I'd make a hell
of a role model, huh?

[grunts]

Hi.

[soft chuckle]

[sighs]

[exhales softly]

Bad day, huh?

Bad year.

I feel like the only reprieve
I had was when I was...

suspended
from practicing altogether.

And that was for going up
against a guy

who'd never been to law school,

who also ended up beating me.

[chuckles]

A slump's a slump, cowboy.

It happens.

[sighs]

I feel like this one's
never gonna end.

Do you think I'm losing it?

Hmm, no.

You're not losing it,
counselor.

Believe me.

[instrumental music]

Can we go home?

Yeah.

Let's go home.

There you go.

[chuckles]

You ready to go night night?

Kelsey Markowitz,
these are such spiffy PJs.

Come on.

Ooh! Do all babies smell
as wonderful as you?

You know what?

I ruined a whole deposition
yesterday because of you.

Probably lost a client,
cost the firm a lot of money.

And you know what else?

I don't care.

You know what else?

It's not so bad without a nanny,
is it? [Stuart chuckles]

We're doing
just fine by ourselves.

Oh, boy.

You two look so beautiful.

Now, take her.

- Bye, sweetie.
- Come here, big girl.

[light laugh]

That's a girl.

You got my finger?
You got my finger?

[light laugh]

[instrumental music]

Not too bad, huh?

Not too bad.

[softly] That was a kiss.

[theme music]