Original subtitles

I can't stand it anymore!

Please, let me down!

Please!

Help!

Let me down!

Please, help!

All right.

Cut!

Cut!

Cut, cut, cut, cut.

Listen, dear.

I'll sue you deaf, dumb, and blind

if you don't get me down from here.

All right.

Let him down. MAN: Oh my god!

I can't stand it.

Please let me down!

I should have known a man couldn't take it.

They're all the same.

Mind the hair, please.

Now please, get out the... Ow! Mind the ankles!

Mind the ankles!

Now get out the way, you silly bitch.

Now, come on.

Move out the way.

Get it off, dear.

You're a sadist thing.

You're a monster.

You don't care what you do to get a good few feet of film.

I'm calling my agent and my lawyer,

not to mention my tailor.

Ow!

I'll sue you, dear.

I will.

I'll sue you.

Female chauvinist cow!

You've got to find me another actor.

I want a man immediately.

It's impossible.

These screen tests are too hard.

Men are frail little beings... helpless.

They can't stand the rigours of a Luce Habit film.

I want another actor immediately.

You're an agent.

That's what agents do!

Somewhere... somewhere there must be a man gentle,

yet brave enough to face whatever

the future holds in store.

No chance.

We're wasting each other's time, Luce Habit.

The ship is loaded.

We sail at dawn.

That's your problem.

No actor in his right mind would go off

to parts unknown into darkest Africa with you.

You're a sadist.

Rubbish.

I'm not a sadist.

I wouldn't ask anybody to do what my crew or I wouldn't do.

But we're women, Luce... Brave, strong and fearless.

For years the critics have been saying my films are great.

But I need a love interest.

I want a male... Delicate and beautiful.

You take too many risks.

You'll kill anybody to make your movies.

I'll find one with or without you.

A sweet, gentle thing that will be brave

when called upon and will follow me to the ends of the Earth.

I'll search every nook and cranny.

THEME SONG: Queen Kong.

Queen Kong.

Queen Kong.

Queen Kong is the chick with all the hair.

Queen Kong, Queen Kong come from I don't know where.

Kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, kong.

Queen, queen, queen, queen, queen,

queen, queen, queen, Queen Kong.

She's a genie who ain't teenie.

She's the queenie queenie for my weenie.

When I'm feeling mighty spunky, I

wanna do it with my hunky monkey.

Queen, queen, queen, queen, queen,

queen, queen, queen, Queen Kong.

Kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, Queen Kong.

Yeah.

All right, ole Queenie!

She's the genie who ain't teenie.

She's the queenie queenie...

What are you doing?

What do you think I am?

A thief of something?

You've all gone mad.

MAN: Toffee apples!

Toffee apples!

Come on, darling!

Toffee!

Toffee apples!

Hey.

MAN: Hey, are you going to pay for that all, son?

What?

MAN: Are you going to pay for that toffee apple?

No, I paid the other fella.

I paid the other fella.

MAN: I'm not giving away for nothing, am I?

Ah, go and take it.

Lighten up, [inaudible]

[angels sing hallelujah]

Ah.

Ah, morning.

How much is that Kong poster in the window?

Oh, 60 quid.

It is a classic film of all time.

This is the original reproduction.

Oh really?

60 quid, eh?

Right.

My leg!

My leg!

Where is he?

The little Italian fink!

Come here!

I'm going to sue you!

Oh, my leg!

Mama mia!

Please, calm yourself!

Please, somebody carry him into the shop.

I am so sorry.

You're finished, mate.

Piano, piano.

Put him in a chair.

Careful, careful.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you very much indeed.

And now I will make us... I am sorry.

I will make a cup of tea, and everything

will be a little bit better, eh?

As my old mama always say, there is nothing like a cup of tea!

[groaning]

Milk?

Sugar?

Figlio di puttana!

Thief, thief!

You come back, please.

Listen, you little fruit!

I'm going to call the cops!

Here's 60 quid for your poster.

Here, what about them oranges then?

Who's going to pay for them, then?

All right.

Buy yourself some real fruit.

Thank you, Miss.

I'm taking this peach with me.

Hello.

Sorry to trouble you, but have you got a joint?

Oh, come on.

Just one.

It's always same, man.

Just one more.

Go on.

Beat it, man.

Beat it.

Well, I do beat it.

But the Pope says it's wrong.

Ray.

Thanks, chaps.

Your drink.

Oh, ta.

Cheers.

Waitress, could I have a sack, please?

Full steam ahead!

A star is born.

[music playing]

(SINGING): your bra, burn your panties.

Call your ma, call your aunties and ship

off on the Liberated Lady.

It's the new dance sweeping every nation.

And they swing to the beat of women's liberation.

Ladies dancing into the fearsome lion's den,

fighting for their rightful places next to the men.

Grab a Honda with Jane Fonda.

Cheer a cheer Germaine Greer.

Let's ship off on the Liberated Lady.

Paris, London, Tokyo, and Rome.

They'll say a woman's place is in the home.

New York, Dublin, Madrid, Peking, and Munich... they're

all swinging to the beat of the female unit.

Swig a swig.

Fix the rig.

Muck the nearest male chauvinist pig.

Let's ship off on the Liberated Lady.

Burn your bra, burn your panties.

Call your ma, call your aunties, and ship

off on the Liberated Lady.

Let's ship off on the Liberated Lady.

Let's ship off on The Liberated Lady.

The sea is like a woman unfolding her vast mystery

before us relentlessly, relentlessly, relentlessly.

What a great line.

I wish I'd said that.

How are you feeling?

What time does this pub dock?

And what am I doing here?

Uh-huh.

You signed this contract.

We're on our way to darkest Africa to make a film that will

make you the biggest film star in Uganda.

Oh, terrific.

Uh... listen.

Have you got a joint?

All prepared.

That

Oh.

Tremendous.

Unga kung bunga.

Unga kunga bunga.

Who are they?

Our native guides from Lazanga where they do the Konga.

Lazanga where they do the Konga?

Our destination... where no Englishman has ever set foot.

Why has no Englishman ever set foot there?

Full of Australians.

My god.

Kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, kong.

Kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, kong.

They keep saying kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, kong.

Yes, that's true.

Well, do you think this has some underlying meaning

or symbolism or social significance?

Perhaps it's a secret code.

Maybe it's another language.

Perhaps.

You are clever.

But since I speak all native languages,

and they speak unga-bunga, a language

popular in many old movies, and the only language spoken

on Lazanga where they do the Konga.

I can safely say that "kong, kong, kong, kong, kong",

"kong, kong" has no particular significance

as either a noun or a verb.

Oh shit.

Maybe it's not "kong, kong, kong, kong, kong",

"kong" that they're saying.

Maybe it's just the word "kong" repeated six times.

My god.

You really are clever.

Kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, kong.

Your mother sees Kong in hell.

They seem possessed.

Ew!

Hey, look.

They just spat green pea soup out their mouths.

The devil and Mrs. Heinz.

[hooting]

There is something out there that

holds them in the grip of terror.

Whatever it is that lies beyond the sea, we'll find it.

Do you think this is really me?

I mean, really me?

I mean, do you think when my public views me

for the first time on the giant panovision screen

and the full wonder of the stereophonic sound,

do you think I should look so much like a fag?

Through the genius of the Kodak laboratories,

I can make home movies that look like the professional movies

you see on the second half of the bill at your local cinema.

Now the trouble with most home movies

is that people just wave into the camera.

In my award winning movies, no one waves into the camera.

That's what I'm famous for.

Not one wave.

Well, maybe one wave.

Land ahoy!

There it is... Lazanga where they do the Konga.

Lazanga where they do the Konga.

Lazanga where they do the Konga.

Where?

Brighton.

[screaming]

Kong, kong, kong, kong.

Kong, kong, kong, kong.

[screaming]

[jaws theme]

I know that tune.

That tune.

What's it called?

Well, it's nice, but you can't really dance to it.

It's on the tip of my tongue.

Oh!

What's it called?

I'm not saying I don't like it though.

Maybe if you do something, a little dance native in style,

it'll be all right.

Yeah?

Hm.

Try it.

No, no.

Maybe at the local pub, but certainly not at the Hilton.

Let me have a go.

Hah!

Hey.

Ho!

Oh, but you dance divinely.

Oh, do I?

Yes.

Well, I learned this step from a migrant clairvoyant who'd

been pillaged by a group of reactionary American boy

scouts in the Holy City in search of the Golden Fleece.

Interesting.

Whoa!

Be careful, sweet one.

Drop anchor.

I'm so frightened.

I've always been helpless.

I used to stay at home with Daddy while Mum and the girls

went out and played soccer.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Don't worry.

I'm a woman.

I'll protect you.

Oh!

Hark.

Original primitive music.

All right, guv.

Ray, Ray.

I'd like you to this costume on.

I think we can still get a few shots in before dark.

Eat your heart out, Elton John.

Here I come.

All right.

All right.

All right, girls.

Ray, Ray.

All right now.

Come on.

We've got to strike camp.

Come along now.

Hurry up, girls.

Humma, humma.

Left, left, left, left.

Left, left, left, left, left, left,

left, left, left, left, left.

Lazanga where they do the Konga.

GIRLS: Lazanga where they do the Konga.

Morning.

Look at that great big table and chair.

Queen Kong.

Well, who's she?

Only time will tell.

Look at that great big wall!

What lies behind the great wall?

The Chinese have always lied behind the Great Wall.

Mr. Tarzan!

Mr. Tarzan!

[howling]

Your wife Jane is on the other line.

You bored by the monotony of modern living?

Spend your next vacation in downtown Liverpool.

[humming]

Make your... make your toilet as clean as your mouth.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

Nin buddy konga.

What are they saying?

The husband of Kong.

They're saying the husband of Kong.

Whatever could that mean?

Nin buddy konga.

Ah!

Yuck!

Yeah!

Unga bunga!

Unga bunga banga wanga.

Him we like for making Konga.

Sanga banga wanga danga.

Him... no!

But I... uh... pay you much to see the Konga.

Seega meega feega.

Beega?

Yaga buga huga.

What did she say?

She said, no.

Suga muga buga freega baruga.

Yaga buga.

Que sera sera.

What's that?

She says she wants you because you look like Doris Day.

Who's he?

It's no good, girls.

She won't let us film the sacrifice.

Come on.

Let's go back to the boat.

Bloody floreigners.

So beautiful, so tranquil.

I'd want it to go on forever, if we hadn't run out of joints.

Whatever it is that they are hiding on that island

is going to make me the biggest film

producer with love interest in the business.

And you're going to be a star... a big star.

No more panhandling for joints.

No more stealing posters.

You're going to have cash, baby.

And lots of it.

But now I must go below.

Goodnight, goodnight.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Oh, absolutely marvelous.

I do so love Christopher Marlowe.

Oh, Ray.

You're magnificent.

You're such a literary iconoclast.

Hah.

Pas de quoi.

I didn't know you spoke Italian.

Only on Yom Kippur.

Hah.

Once more, good night.

Be careful, sweet one, lest in the cool evening breeze

you catch a chill and croak.

Unga bunga tanga langa.

Bunga bunga bunga, I'd love to weave the Konga.

Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight.

I wish, I fish, I... Starlight, star bright, first star I see

tonight, wish I may, wish I might

have the wish I wish tonight, silly.

I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight.

Hey.

Oowa, oowa.

Do you mind keeping the noise down, please?

Thank you.

I'm busy.

Oofa konga.

Oofa konga.

Oofa.

Yes, and hoo to you too.

Oofa konga, oofa konga, oofa konga,

oofa konga, oofa konga, oofa konga.

Cha-cha-cha.

Oh, do you mind, girls?

I'm going to be an international star.

I've got no time for this frivolity.

Hah.

Unga bunga.

Help!

Help, help!

Oh, Ray.

Oh, Ray.

When will this endless night turn into day?

Ray?

Ray?

Ray!

Ray?

Ray?

All girls on deck.

All girls on deck.

Man missing.

Find Ray.

Find Ray!

All right, girls.

I want a concentrated search.

Look everywhere.

Absolutely everywhere.

Up the stairs.

Down the stairs.

Don't leave a leaf unturned.

We must find him.

Come on, girls.

We must find him.

Look.

What's that?

Kongtraceptives.

No.

You know what that means?

Yes.

The natives must have stolen Ray.

They haven't heard of the pill yet.

Poor Ray.

Oh, it's true.

Blondes do have more fun.

I paid 60 quid for that fruit.

Ah!

Get... what are you... get off me.

What... get off.

What... agh!

Me legs, for heaven's sake.

These sacrifices only work with virgins!

Help!

Please, help!

Ho, what are you doing?

Ow!

No!

No, no!

Come on.

My peach is just within reach.

Kong, kong, kong, kong.

Kong, kong, kong, kong.

Kong, kong, kong, kong.

Help!

Help!

Whose birthday is this in any case?

Kong, kong, kong, kong.

Kong, kong, kong, kong.

Kong, kong, kong, kong.

Kong, kong, kong, kong.

Kong, kong, kong, kong.

Help!

Come on, girls.

Let's get him out of here.

Help!

I hate birthday parties!

I want to go home!

So this is the Queen Kong the natives spoke about.

Don't leave me, girls.

I'm too young to be eaten.

[screaming]

Parlez-vous francais?

You can't eat me.

I'm Jewish.

I'm Irish.

I'm black.

I'm a leper.

I'm a Jewish, black, Irish leper!

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, dear...

[screaming]

All right, girls.

Girls, follow me.

RAY: Look, I can act now.

I'm screaming now.

[screaming]

RAY: How about that, eh?

That was a good scream.

[screaming]

RAY: Help!

I want my mum!

Come on, girls.

Let's get him out of here!

RAY: Oh god.

Oh!

[scream]

How about the icing, eh?

It'll taste much better than me.

I promise.

[screaming]

I wish you'd cut your nails.

[screaming]

My god.

A man-eating rosebush.

A rose was a rose was a rose.

Crunch the camellias and beware the begonias.

Forward march.

Left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left.

My god.

A trinosauropticus like I used to read

about in the history books.

It's as if, in this jungle, that time has stood still.

It's all teeth.

It's just like Jimmy Carter.

I feel faint.

Please put me down.

Hit him with a right.

Go on.

That's it.

Kick him in the... you know... uh... below the belt.

Good girl.

Play with me son, you're playing with fire.

Does this look like Scotland?

Or am I just pissed?

Left, left, left, left, left... oh my god.

A prehistoric bagpipe.

GIRLS: A prehistoric bagpipe?

Yes A prehistoric bagpipe.

2 they get their hands it, you can't shut them up.

GIRLS: God in heaven, will these terrors never cease?

A prehistoric bagpipe, like those that

wandered the Earth thousands of years ago.

It's as if in jungle, time has stood still.

GIRLS: Should we fear it?

No.

It'll take the high road, and we'll take the low road.

And let's hope we'll get their before it.

All right, girls.

Forward march.

Left, left... come on, girls.

Can't stand heights.

Please put me down.

[inaudible] That's it.

Nice and easy.

Help!

Help.

It's a thingie!

It's a ptery-whatsit!

Agh!

Help!

Pea soup again.

I thought there were supposed to be 57 varieties of this shit.

Rap around the beak.

Go on.

He's much smaller than the other one.

Go on.

Get him!

Hurray.

Well done, girl.

Thanks very much.

This way, girls.

Careful.

Raise up the top.

Watch your feet, girls.

Ray, I know he's up there.

Ray?

Ray?

Ray, answer me.

Ray.

Oh, Ray.

Saved.

Ray?

Saved at last.

Not now.

After this harrowing experience.

[growling]

I think she smells us.

I told you to use the deodorant.

I didn't think it would matter in the jungle.

You should never be careless to offend.

What are you doing?

Put them down?

It's bad manners to stare.

What will the neighbors say?

I don't know what I'm going to do with her.

No!

What did you go and do that for?

Friends of mine.

No, don't try and make up. It's too late.

[kiss]

Ahh!

Well, I've heard of being kiss off, but this is ridiculous.

Ahh!

Help!

Oh my god.

I can't swim.

Help!

Help!

Don't worry!

Your heroine will save you!

It's no good.

All right, girls.

Follow me up the tower.

Come on.

Come on, Ray.

Guess who didn't use her mouthwash this morning.

Come on, all of you.

Help!

Come on, all of you!

Push!

Push!

Push!

No!

Run!

Run faster!

Run!

Come on, girls.

On the boat.

Hurry up.

Come on.

Quickly, quickly.

My god.

She's tricked us.

The bombs... get the bombs.

[inaudible] Come on.

Come on.

Three more bombs.

Hurry up.

Come on.

She's falling.

She's falling this way.

Oh my god.

Come on, girls!

Run!

Run!

[screaming]

Even for a 64 foot high gorilla you

are one royal pain in the ass.

There's nothing more to be afraid of, sweet one.

We'll take her back to London where she'll be the greatest

attraction the world has ever known.

She might have been a queen on this island,

but in London, half the guys you meet are queens.

Excuse me, sir.

Could you tell us something about this female gorilla?

[interposing voices]

Mr. Ray, all London is waiting to hear how you felt when

you were abducted by Queen Kong.

I would like to thank everyone, great and small, who has made

my stardom possible on the international motion

picture scene.

The director, the camerawoman, the clapper girl.

Ray, not now.

Later.

Oh.

Uh... no comment to the press.

Thank you.

I'm sorry I could never stand for that.

It's disgusting, a travesty, and insult to women everywhere,

Mr. Wolf.

Well, as my great-aunt Virginia would have said,

tough nougats, if she don't hide her boobies.

Because if she don't hide her boobies, no show.

Ray.

Ray.

Oh.

Would do please say something?

Oh, yes.

I would like to thank everyone, great and small, who has made

my stardom possible on the international motion

picture scene.

Not that speech, stupid.

What do you think of him insisting

that Queen Kong wear bra and panties?

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, here

is the great Johnny Harris!

Thank you.

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you very much indeed.

I must admit, this is a very unusual engagement for me.

I've... uh... I've never actually preceded a lady gorilla before.

I've followed a few in my time, but that

was basically desperation.

I tell you, baby.

I ain't had one bare booby in not one of my extravagances.

But she is an animal.

Now, look, baby.

No one is going to pay 10 quid a head to see an animal,

no matter how big she is.

To get 10 quid a head, you've got

to shove said titties into two big sackies.

You get it?

That's showmanship.

That's ugly.

Which reminds me please, when... When Kong is on, nobody cough.

No, please.

It's very catching when somebody coughs.

I mean, one person coughs, another person coughs,

she coughs... we could lose you in the drop.

So now, ladies and gentlemen, to keep you more or less

in a simian mood... The Orangutangs!

Queen Kong.

Queen Kong is the chick with all the hair.

Queen Kong, Queen Kong come from I don't know where.

You sexist pig.

You wouldn't ask a male gorilla to wear a brassiere,

now would you?

What is the difference between male boobs and female boobs?

They're bigger and a little more fun to squeeze.

You might have a full house, Mr. Wolf,

but you're not getting a full bra.

If you don't go on, you're broke.

Because I'm not going to pick up the tab for your expedition.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you

to a noted filmmaker, a lady whose talent is only surpassed

by her personality... Ms. Luce Habit!

Take it away, Lucy!

Thank you, royalty and persons.

Tonight, we have a little surprise for you.

Or should I say a big surprise?

We have just returned from darkest Africa,

and amid the jungle drums, please!

Thank you.

Amid the jungle drums, we discovered something

so frightening, so terrifying that we

had to bring it back alive.

A film would not do it justice.

It had to be seen to be believed.

But first, I would like to introduce you

to the sweetest, gentlest, bravest little boy

in the world... Ray Fay.

Right.

And now I have another little surprise for you.

As you know, while love blooms on the high seas,

and I would like to say that Ray Fay is

the only man in the world for me.

And I would like to ask him to become my husband, to love,

honor, and obey me in sickness and in health

until he kicks off.

Marry me?

I don't believe in sex before intercourse.

Isn't there something you'd like to say, Ray?

Oh, yes.

I would like to thank everyone, great and small, who has made

my stardom possible on the international movie scene.

Later.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment

you've all been waiting for... the Eighth

Wonder of the World, Queen Kong!

Hi, Queenie.

I'm on your side.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, Ray Fay and Luce Habit

will dance the dance of the island Lazanga

where they do the Konga!

Can't you see she's crying?

You stuck her in this stupid costume and humiliated her.

And now she's crying.

We came to make a movie.

We created a farce.

Please, be quiet!

This is dangerous.

It's no joke.

She's jealous.

Can't you see that?

She's jealous.

That ape's jealous of him.

Ray...

No, I don't want to go.

Ray, please.

She's only breaking those chains because she loves me.

Ray, please.

You're just jealous!

I hope Your Majesty enjoyed the opening today.

We were most certainly not amused.

No, I don't want to go.

I want to go with her.

I found the girl of my dreams... big, big and strong

with hair coming out of her nostrils.

Don't be crazy, Ray.

Come back to the hotel with me.

Now listen.

That ape played a long scene on that stage

tonight that was worthy of an oscar.

But she'll never give it to you.

Just like that other ape, she'll give it to the Indians.

No!

Get off!

Ray!

I didn't take a 49-pound-a-night hotel suite for you to go

spending the night with some other gorilla.

But you're just like all the other women... just

want one thing.

She loves me, purely.

Hah.

Don't you be so sure.

Hello, police.

I know this sounds unusual, but some excessive vandalism

is occurring around here.

I thought you might be interested.

Go ahead.

I'll file a report.

64 foot gorilla's destroying?

I say, do you mean a gorilla or ape.

I mean, if it's that size, it's probably an ape, not a gorilla.

Yes.

Quite right.

I think ape is definitely more accurate.

Does it have any distinguishing characteristics?

You know, warts or anything?

No, nothing.

Except, it does have rather long toenails.

They are rather long, aren't they?

Hello?

Hello?

Oh dear.

We've been disconnected.

What do you mean there's a 64 foot gorilla on the loose?

What do you mean the 64 foot gorilla

is walking around Saint Paul's?

What do you mean the 64 foot gorilla is looking

for a hippie from the Portobello Road?

I mean there's a 64 foot gorilla on the loose.

I mean, the 64 foot gorilla is walking around Saint Paul's.

I mean, the 64 foot gorilla is looking

for a hippie from Portobello Road.

Oh, jolly good.

I wasn't quite sure what you meant.

Get back to me on this one, will you?

Ray, would you please sit down and listen to me?

How can I sit down and listen to you, when the gorilla I

love is out there looking for me?

Eh?

This is a song of my own composition.

I wrote it myself.

And the lyrics too.

I like flying big planes, little planes,

medium size planes... All kinds of planes.

I like flying eenie, weenie planes, itsy bitsy planes

and grand planes... All kinds of planes.

I like flying big planes, little planes, medium

sized planes... all kinds of planes.

I like flying...

I wish that nun would shut up.

She didn't shut up once on the whole trip.

She even sang during the movie.

Yes, we're coming in now.

Set for landing at 0:0.

No, no, wait.

What is it?

I can't believe it.

There's a 64 foot gorilla in front of us.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to announce that we're

about to crash into a 64 foot gorilla.

We hope that you had a smashing flight,

and we wish to thank you for taking flight...

What did he say?

He said we're crashing into a 64 foot gorilla.

What do they expect with a cross-eyed stewardess?

You don't understand, do you?

It's all your fault.

She wants me.

You can hold me here, because you're

a woman and stronger than me.

But love will find a way.

Oh, no you don't You are not going anywhere.

Let me out!

Let me go, you big tart!

Oh, Ray.

Oh, Ray.

Chief, the ape has wiped out 1000 years of English history

and a year's supply of North Sea oil.

Standing by for instructions. All right, all right.

Mother, the monkey has leveled out 1000 years

of English history and wiped out a year's

supply of North Sea oil.

Standing by for instructions.

Like Churchill?

Yes, mother.

Yes, mother.

OK, OK.

What would Churchill do now?

Churchill wouldn't be afraid, and

neither am I. Stand by, all cars.

Stand by helicopters.

Stand by, fire engines.

Stand by, submarines.

Stand by, Royal Air Force.

Stand by, everything!

You've always been a good for nothing.

Yes, dear.

Lie in bed all day.

Yes, dear.

Just reading that paper.

Yes, dear.

[growl]

Yes, dear.

Oh, Ray.

Take that.

You've got to play the game too.

You want a fight, eh?

All right.

There.

RAY: Get off.

Hey.

Ray, no.

OK, Queenie.

Take it away.

So that's gorilla warfare.

It's nice to see you again, love.

Looking very well.

Don't tread on the people!

Mind the people!

Come back!

Don't be afraid.

She won't hurt you.

Will you be careful?

I know some of these people personally!

Oh, Queenie.

The Crown Jewels... How extravagant.

But it's definitely not my color, love.

Sorry.

Do you know, Queenie.

It really is a shame the Empire State Building isn't in London.

Hang on.

Big Ben!

We'll go up Big Ben.

Even better.

Come on.

Listen, Chief.

She just stole the Crown Jewels, and now

she's heading for Big Ben.

You'd better get down here quick.

We shall fight her by land.

We shall fight her by sea.

We shall fight her in the air.

And they shall say that this was England's finest hour.

We'll crush that gorilla like we crushed the U-Boats, Willy.

Man your battle stations.

Man your battle stations.

Prepare to meet your enemy.

Follow me, men!

[bell ringing]

Good god.

Is that the time?

Doesn't time fly when you're having fun.

Onwards, onwards.

I think we have been having this problem,

since we British started to let these bloody foreigners in.

I mean, you don't see an English gorilla

behaving like that, do you?

Blasted traffic.

My god.

Don't the police in this city do anything?

No, don't shoot.

Please!

Don't shoot.

Be careful.

Steady, girl.

Steady.

Please, don't shoot!

No.

No, Queenie.

Put the helicopter down.

Put it down!

Me Ray, you Kong.

Put the helicopter down.

Put me on the helicopter.

Put me down.

MAN: What the hell!

Don't be afraid of her.

She's just been misunderstood, like all women

throughout history.

Put away those guns.

Do you think they can affect her?

Go on.

Get away while you can.

Yeah.

Is there a PA system in here?

It's up there.

Stop the attack from the planes and helicopters this moment.

You cannot destroy her, for she represents

all women everywhere.

Women, forced into a mold to satisfy

the images of male chauvinism.

Hallelujah!

RAY (ON RADIO): If you destroy this beautiful beast,

that's destroying a lifetime of female struggle.

Yes, she represents woman, woman struggling to find her identity

in a society viewing her as a kitchen slave and sex object.

Right on, man.

Let's go!

Yeah!

Woman subjugated to the whims of man

with no consideration for her own personal self expression.

Yeah, that's me.

Subjugated to the whims of man with no consideration

for my own personal self expression.

RAY (ON RADIO): What you see as a terrifying gorilla,

I see as the embodiment of the frustrations of all women

everywhere.

It's true.

It's so true.

Men are pigs.

You're not persecuting her because this poor creature is

a giant gorilla, but because she is

a woman, a female, a feminine creature.

Oh, holy, bloody shit.

You persecute her, like you persecute all women.

You take her from where she can be loved and respected

and force her into a costume that you find suitable.

Ladies everywhere, this is your chance for emancipation.

All of you... big women, small women,

ugly women, beautiful women!

All of you must now gather together

and help save your friend, our friend... Queenie.

(CHANTING): Free Kong, you're our Queen now.

Free Kong, you're our Queen now.

To the streets.

Save Kong.

To the streets.

Save Kong.

To the streets.

Save Kong.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

Free You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

Free Kong. You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

You're our Queen now.

Free Kong.

Free Kong.

They're coming.

They're actually coming.

Queenie, Queenie, look what you've done.

The cavalry have arrived.

Just in the nick of time.

I don't believe it.

[chanting]

Kill it!

Kill it!

Kill that ape!

Now, Chief.

Control yourself.

Here's your reports, you male chauvinistic pigs!

You're no son of mine!

What?

You?

Mama?

OK, OK.

Officer, get that ape off that building

and back to Africa, if you value your life.

Oh, Queenie.

We really have overcome.

(SINGING): Soft breezes, loving squeezes

amid the bamboo treesies.

And if you hold me too tight, in the jungle tonight,

I'll run the risk of a slipped disc, my love.

I wonder if they'd settle for a threesome.

Lazanga, here we come.

(SINGING): Soft breezes, house magic

[inaudible] amid the bamboo treesies.

I'll be floating on the stream, as you start to scream my love.

And I'll have no cares in your massive head, my sweet.

They say that love would have to be Platonic,

now the situation has become quite chronic.

Love has found a way.

(SINGING): If I were just an ordinary gorilla,

we could take that night boat to Manila together.

Clad in the latest pair of Jesus jeans,

we could tour around the Philippines together.

It wouldn't matter what we saw, since everything's

under martial law.

And you would stop your yelling rape.

If I were just an ordinary household ape,

we'd spend our nights in a grass shack.

And we'd never dream of coming back.