All language subtitles for The Man from U.N.C.L.E. - S03E07 - The Thor Affair.en

I'm glad to hear
the train is on time...

because time is of the
essence, gentlemen.

Yes, sir.

If you don't eat something,
you are going to die.

Take some fruit juice.

I'm your doctor
and I order you to...

I am your president.

I order you to leave me alone.

Seventeen days is too long
a fast for a man of your age.

I don't like it.

Nahdi exposed like that, he's
a perfect target for an assassin.

Mr. President, one more
day and I won't be responsible.

I'll take no food...

until the world powers agree
to a disarmament conference.

And if they don't?

Then I'll die.

- Anything?
- Not so far.

I'm sure his security
people don't like it either.

But he has to get
his message across.

You can eat now. They've
accepted your terms.

The cessation of testing?
And the moratorium?

Everything, to the last codicil.

Help me up.

You know, this crowd
seems to love him.

I think I've found someone
who doesn't. Look over there.

My people, we prayed...

and they answered.

The great powers have
agreed to sit down...

and to reason together.

Hmm.

Saved by a sneeze.

Well, we can hardly expect
such good fortune the next time.

- Do you think there will be a next time?
- There's no doubt whatever in my mind.

Thrush would never have missed.
The whole thing smacks of amateurs.

Amateurs, Mr. Kuryakin, are sometimes
harder to deal with than professionals.

Less predictable.

Well, I suppose you want us
to go to the Geneva conference.

Yes, I, uh, ahem...

I've booked passage for
you both on the 8 a.m. flight.

- Tourist?
- Well, I, uh...

I'm sorry to be so
parsimonious, gentlemen...

but we're approaching
the end of our fiscal year...

and the, uh, auditors are
closely scrutinizing the vouchers.

I'd appreciate it if you would
hold expenses to the minimum.

Gentlemen, please
open your bags.

Do you have anything to
declare? Cigarettes, perfume?

Not a thing.

Thank you.

- Everything in order?
- Perfectly, sir.

Enjoy your stay.

Thank you.

They always have to
mess up your shirts.

How else would you know
you crossed a new frontier?

Oh, which reminds me, I
better check on Nahdi's arrival.

I will be back in a moment.

Ah, excuse me. What time
does the president's plane arrive?

Um, let's see.

- Not before 6:00 in the afternoon, sir.
- We're staying at the, uh, William Tell.

If there's any change,
would you let us know?

- Certainly.
- Thank you.

- Is it accomplished?
- It is in the bag.

That's what you
said the last time.

I had him right in
my sights, Mr. Thor.

Yes, and I suppose a
septuagenarian's reflexes...

are faster than a
speeding bullet?

We shall get him when he arrives in Geneva.
I will shoot him dead in his tracks.

You'll do nothing of the sort.

I've, uh, invited him to be my
guest for the duration of his visit.

- And he accepted?
- Naturally.

Then we can arrange for a
little accident when he gets here.

Not at all.

I am now supporting
the peace conference.

But we have lost three
men trying to prevent it.

We'll do better than prevent it.

We're going to send
Nahdi into the conference...

and he will proceed to blow up
all the heads of state in attendance.

Clever, don't you think?

- Sheer genius, Mr. Thor.
- Hmm.

Now, uh, what type of device did
you put in their bags at the Customs?

Razor blades. They are ready
to blow up any time you wish.

I hope so, Kiru. For
your sake, I hope so.

I know you have a reservation, gentlemen,
but, I mean, with this summit conference...

there's hardly a room
to be had in all Geneva.

This happens every time we have
one of these dreadful peace conferences.

Yes, the prospect of world
peace is a pretty terrifying thought.

Oh, it certainly is.

Anyway, if you'll give me a
moment, I'll see what I can do.

Excuse me, could
you get me a cab?

Uh, see the doorman,
miss. Now, gentlemen, I...

I've already seen the doorman.
He suggested I see you.

He said you might call a
taxi company or something.

I must get to the
airport by 4:00.

I am sorry, mademoiselle...

but I'm sure there's not an
available taxicab in the whole city.

Do you see what I mean?

Give me a few minutes and I'll
come up with something for you.

Why don't you have a drink
in the bar? On the house.

- But what about me?
- Now, don't worry. You come with us.

As soon as the gentleman finds us a
room, we'll take you the airport ourselves.

- But we haven't even been introduced.
- Well...

- What is your name?
- Nellie Canford.

Nellie Canford,
meet Napoleon Solo.

- Enchanté. This is Mr. Illya Kuryakin.
- It's a pleasure.

Now that the introductions
are complete...

let's take advantage of the generous
offer of the gentlemen, shall we?

Come on.

I would like to see the faces
of our friends from U.N.C.L.E.:

Nahdi arriving two hours
before he's expected...

and on your private plane.

For security purposes only.

Above all, the president
must be protected.

Welcome to Geneva,
Mr. President. I am Brutus Thor.

I'm honored that you
accepted my invitation.

It was most gracious
of you, Mr. Thor.

I cannot tell you how I shall
appreciate staying at your villa...

away from all the fanfare.

Believe me, sir, it's a privilege to
be of some, uh, small assistance...

to the great champion
of world peace.

Thank you, Mr. Thor.

And when that Roman
had the nerve to pinch me...

well, I just hauled up
and gave him a pow.

Say, uh, what time is it?

- There's no hurry. We don't have our room.
- That could take forever.

Listen, you've both have been very
sweet, but I must go or I'll miss my plane.

Now, let me see. I had, uh,
three daiquiris. That's two francs...

Now, that's all right.
We'll take care of it.

- Oh, no, I couldn't.
- Yes, you could.

All right, I could, ha, ha. But you
must promise to let me buy you a drink...

the next time you
get to Newport News.

- Mr. Solo.
- It's a promise.

Here's your key.
Room 609, ha, ha.

Oh, and, uh, there's a phone call
for you. You can take it right here.

Oh.

Yes, uh, Solo here.

You know something?

You're cute.

You're very kind.

Hmm. I feel like
such a naughty girl.

All these daiquiris.

It's absolutely lewd.

- All right, thank you.
- That was...?

The airport. Nahdi came
in on a private plane.

- We better check the embassy.
- Right.

- But what about me?
- We'll get you a cab.

In Geneva? But you'll
have to throw somebody out.

Well, that's better than
breaking a promise.

- Yes?
- It is me, Mr. Thor.

It's about time. What
took you so long?

They just...

They've just got a room, 609.

They're on their way
up there right now.

I see. You're sure they can't find the
bomb if they open their overnight bag?

- Impossible.
- Excellent.

Well, give Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin a
chance to make themselves comfortable...

then, uh, press the button.

Quick, quick! Back to
the hotel. Quick, quick!

Hurry.

Yes, I'll hold.

Did you mark those drinks
in the expense account?

- No, I will absorb them personally.
- Hmm. Very generous.

I'm sure you'll get even if
you ever get to Newport News.

Ha, ha. Well, I
won't hold my breath.

Quick! Hurry!

Yes, I'm holding.

Nobody at the embassy knows
anything about Nahdi's arrival.

Well, isn't that rather strange?

Yes, perhaps you can help me.
I'm trying to locate President Nahdi.

He's not staying at the embassy.

Brutus Thor?

All right, thank you.

Brutus Thor, the munitions king?

Well, I don't know of
anyone else with that name.

Disarmament conferences
make strange bedfellows.

Come in. Come in!

Where is it? BOTH: What?

The overnight bag.

Those were my shirts.

- That was close.
- Thank you.

You're welcome. Bye.

How did you know about the...?

I heard a man say that there was
a bomb in Solo's overnight bag.

And he said Room 609.

Listen, I gotta run.
The meter's running.

Hey, wait a minute. What's all this
about? What are you talking about?

- What man? Where?
- In my tooth.

- Your what?
- Your tooth?

Uh-huh. You see, my dentist says that
the acids in my system are kind of funny.

And when I have something
to drink with rum in it...

or if the weather conditions are
right, well, then my molar filling...

turns into sort of a, like,
you know, a radio receiver.

And a radio announcer told
you there was a bomb in my bag?

Oh, no, no. I was listening to the
baseball scores on Radio Free Europe...

when all of a sudden
this voice broke in.

What kind of voice?

Well, I don't know. A
man. A raspy foreign voice.

I've read about your
type, just never met one.

Hey, listen, I still
might catch my plane.

Um, sorry about
your shirts. Bye.

Miss Canford, uh, look,
we can't let you go now.

I mean, not with your talent.

But I've gotta get
back to Newport News.

Forget Newport News. This
is, uh, far more important.

Oh, now wait a minute.

We shall only need
you for a few days.

Mr. Kuryakin, I don't know
what kind of a girl you think I am.

Believe me, believe me, we're
only interested in your tooth.

And nothing but the tooth.

If you don't let go of
me, I'm gonna scream.

- Then we shall have to gag you.
- It will be easier if you cooperate.

But my job. I was a substitute teacher
and this is my first permanent assignment.

Our company has, uh,
many, many connections.

Including the Newport
News board of education.

There's something
I have to tell you.

Your tooth could play a decisive
part in the fight for world peace.

What kind of
company are you with?

The, uh, United Network
Command for Law and Enforcement.

The U.N.C.L.E.

U.N.C.L.E.

No. Really?

But where would I stay? I couldn't
get another room to save my life.

Well, we can share this room.

- Now, whoa there.
- Oh, come on, now.

It'll be perfectly
proper. Are you kidding?

We'll, uh, just hang
a sheet somewhere.

You can have the
side with the view.

How's that?

May I help you? SOLO: Yes,
I wanna see President Nahdi.

Oh, I'm sorry. He's not
receiving any callers.

My name is Napoleon Solo.

Would you please show
the president this card?

I'm afraid it makes no difference.
I'm under very strict orders, sir.

Whose orders? THOR: Mine.

I am Brutus Thor.

Well, I'm Napoleon Solo. It's very
urgent that I see President Nahdi.

Please come in, Mr. Solo.

Thank you.

Mr. Solo, I'm sure you can appreciate
our caution with regard to visitors.

Yes, of course I understand.

These are my associates,
Mr. Kuryakin and Miss Canford.

- Charmed.
- Likewise.

President Nahdi is, uh, in
meditation at the moment.

While we wait, may
I offer you a brandy?

Excellent, yes. And, uh, Miss Canford will
have something with a little rum in it.

Oh, yes, rum.

Rhett?

Ah, Mr. Kuryakin.

I, uh, see you're
admiring my little display.

Oh, I often wondered where
Santa Claus spent the off-season.

It's, uh, very interesting.

- What's your name? TOY
DOG: My name is Fido.

- That's a most unusual toy.
- Yes, I'm quite proud of Fido.

The sound of your voice
triggered the speech mechanism.

I presume this is
the dove of peace.

Of course. I only
manufacture peace toys.

Isn't that a rather
abrupt turnabout?

I thought the name of Thor was
always associated with tanks, not toys.

You're quite right, Mr. Solo. But it's
time the family image was changed.

I, sir, wish to be remembered
as a man of peace.

Are you all right?

President Nahdi
will see you now.

Ah, Dr. Diljohn...

President Nahdi's personal
physician and closest associate.

Uh, Miss Canford,
Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin.

Uh, excuse me.

I can't tell you, Mr. Kuryakin,
how much safer I feel...

knowing that your
organization will be on hand...

throughout the
entire conference.

Oh, I can't tell you what
a pleasure it is to be here.

Mama. Mama.

I apologize for changing
my travel arrangements.

I realize it caused
you inconvenience.

Oh, that's all right. I only
wish you had let us know.

I am sorry.

But I must admit I
welcomed the opportunity...

to avoid the hive of
reporters and photographers.

I understand.

I must advise you, however,
to relocate your headquarters...

to somewhere less, uh...

Well, let's say available.

Your concern, Mr. Solo,
does not pass unappreciated.

But I feel very safe here...

and I would not insult my
gracious host by leaving.

Well, if Mr. Thor is really
interested in your safety...

he won't mind your moving
for the sake of security.

Whoever shot at you in your
own country is certain to try again.

Perhaps, Mr. Solo.

But what saved me
that time, security?

Fate, or to be more
precise, my allergy to cats.

Mr. Solo, tomorrow the world is
going to sit down to discuss peace.

And I firmly believe that I am
fated to lead that discussion.

All right.

Our phone number.

If I can be of any service,
anything at all, please call.

Thank you.

Until tomorrow,
at the conference.

Thank you.

I shall step into the
garden for a breath of air.

Something troubling you, doctor?

- Yes.
- Well?

I feel you should have
taken Mr. Solo's advice.

My friend, isn't it enough
that you are my physician...

that you guard
me with your life...

that you taste my food
before you let me eat it?

But you can't guard me
against my own judgment...

or shield me from
my responsibility.

- Trust me.
- I trust you, but...

Forgive me.

Oh, have you seen my
notes for the opening address?

I'll see if they're ready.
Mr. Thor is having them re-typed.

That man thinks of
everything, doesn't he?

"One nation builds a bomb
under the guise of self-defense.

Their enemy builds a
bigger bomb in self-defense.

My friends, where does it stop?

The world is starving and
we are building bigger bombs."

I must say, Nahdi
does sound convincing.

Why are you so unhappy,
Kiru? Everything's going perfectly.

We had those U.N.C.L.E. agents right
here. We should not have let them get away.

But I didn't let them get away.

I just granted a stay of execution,
until tomorrow at the conference.

When the bomb goes off, Solo
and Kuryakin will go off with it...

along with Nahdi
and everyone else.

What's that?

It's Dr. Diljohn. He must
have heard everything.

Don't worry.

I have a very effective cure...

for eavesdropping.

- Any messages?
- I'll check, sir.

Have you heard anything?

The Lucerne Symphony and
some German soccer match.

No, sir.

Front desk.

Yes, he's right here. Mr. Solo?

- Hmm?
- It's for you.

- Mm, thank you.
- You can take it right here.

Solo here.

This is Dr. Diljohn,
President Nahdi's physician.

Something terrible
has happened, Mr. Solo.

They are going to plant a
bomb at the peace conference.

Who's going to plant a bomb?

Everyone is going to be killed.

- You've got to do something, Mr. Solo.
- Doctor, calm down.

Doctor? Doctor?

I'm sorry, Dr. Diljohn.

But sometimes a little knowledge
can be a dangerous thing.

Where's Dr. Diljohn?

In here, Mr. Solo. I've
been trying to reach you.

Why? About Dr. Diljohn?

Yes, he, uh, suffered
a coronary occlusion.

- Dead?
- Yes.

- When did it happen?
- We don't know exactly.

Mr. Kiru found him.

Holding the telephone.

Has Mr. Nahdi been told?

Not yet.

Poor man. I was
growing very fond of him.

Should I notify the
authorities, Mr. Thor?

- What is it?
- Him!

The voice. The
bomb in your room.

All right, the
masks are off, Thor.

And the game is over, Mr. Solo.

We'll just want you to stay with us
for a couple of days, Miss Canford.

I had to listen to you, right?

I was on my way to Virginia
for a very rewarding career.

I'll probably lose my job.

Worse than that, I'll
probably lose my life.

Mr. Thor? This is Kiru.

- Must be some kind of a transmitter.
- Shh.

Miss Canford?

He's talking to Thor.

They're taking us
to Lake Geneva.

We all share your
loss, Mr. President.

I didn't know he
had a heart condition.

That's the way
those things happen.

You work, you strive, and
then when you least expect it...

Such an untimely death.

Death is always untimely.

Did Dr. Diljohn get
my notes before he...?

I'll see that you
get them right away.

- Is it done?
- Uh, yes, sir.

But I still don't understand why you
only wanted me to spray Page 10.

Ooh, you know how these
great heads of state are.

I don't want to miss
any latecomers.

Oh, very clever
scheme, if it works.

Oh, it cannot fail.

The essence of cat on this
page doesn't affect you or me...

but when the peacemonger
turns the page, he'll start to sneeze.

When he sneezes, he'll reach
for his customary handkerchief.

Have you got it?

And when he wipes
his nose, boom.

And the, uh, beauty of
it is you can, uh, drop it...

you can walk on it, you can even light
it with a match and nothing will happen.

But moisture, even the most
minute drop from a single sneeze...

will immortalize everybody
in the conference room.

The sun's up.

I'm sleepy.

Then why not try sleeping?

Oh, I can't go to sleep in this
position. I'm all scrunched up.

Then think of something, uh...

pleasant.

Ah, crawl over there.

- Why?
- Don't ask any foolish questions.

Just crawl over there.

Okay, but don't look. I
have to hike up my skirt.

Oh, I can't crawl anymore.

Well, uh, just stand up, then.

Stand up? You might as well ask
me to whistle "Dixie" while I'm at it.

Well, if you think that
will help, by all means.

All right, now hippity-hop over
to the post. Go on. Hop to it.

Hip, hop. Now
unhook that ladder.

- She'll never make it.
- Unhook it. Let it swing over here.

That's it. Okay. Now...

Hey, that's a good
trick to remember.

It'll keep my kindergarten kids
busy when I get back to school.

If I get back to school.

Three of them.

Well, we could rush them.

Hey!

Uh, isn't anyone
going to untie me?

Wrists hurt, my feet hurt.

How's your fishing?

Oh, I can open
a tin of sardines.

Well, that's more than I can do.

Hey, wait.

All right, go on with him.

You stop that.

Oh.

You did well, Nell.

I took a quickie course in self-defense
when I knew I was coming abroad.

My turn.

I suggest we repair
to the hotel for repairs.

The conference is due
to start in a few hours.

What about Mr. Nahdi?

Obviously, they're not going to
kill him before the conference.

I think we better let Thor play
his hand out to the last card.

They're not very friendly.

If you saw three seedy-looking
characters standing on the road...

would you pick them up?

We'll never get a ride this way.

Can you suggest
something better?

In there.

Hey!

Mr. Thor's residence.

Let me speak to Mr. Thor.

It's Mr. Kiru.

What is it, Kiru?

Just a moment.

I said two minutes
and 45 seconds.

I still can't work out how they
intend to smuggle the bomb in.

Are you getting
anything on your tooth?

Some combo from
Radio Luxembourg.

Keeps fading out.

You better have
a little more rum.

I keep drinking and
drinking and nothing.

- Except hiccups.
- Well, drink up. We haven't got much time.

Oh, um, excuse me.

If I drink much more, I refuse
to be responsible for my actions.

More rum, please.

There's no time for that. The
conference starts in an hour.

Cancel that rum.

You better get on over to Thor's
place. The answer may be there.

In the meantime, I'll take
Nellie down to the conference.

Hurry up, Nell.

I'll stop on the way and
pick up some rum cookies.

There, I believe I
have everything I need.

I've waited a long time
for this moment, Mr. Thor.

As have we all.

Oh.

There.

You're going to be on
television, you know.

And the whole world
will be watching.

So accustomed to having
poor old Dr. Diljohn at my side.

Good luck, Mr. President.

We're all counting on you.

Welcome to the first globally
televised peace conference.

This is Richard Turer, your
commentator on this broadcast...

TURER ...being sent
throughout the world by Telstar.

Dignitaries from almost every
nation are taking their seats.

President Fazir Nahdi is approaching
his place at the conference table.

Mr. Nahdi will be
introduced shortly...

and we will witness
this chapter in history.

You getting something?

What?

Hmm, "La Traviata."

From Naples. Very clear.

It is my great pleasure...

to present President
Fazir Nahdi.

My friends...

I want to thank you for having
responded to my appeal...

for having come from
all parts of the world...

in response to the noblest
aspiration of mankind.

The cause of world peace.

The time has finally arrived.

It certainly has,
Mr. President. It certainly has.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Ah, Mr. Thor wants you to
watch the front of the house.

Somebody is at the toys.

The door is locked.

The toys will take care of
the visitors. Activate them.

Mama. Mama. Mama.

When differences of
opinion can be resolved...

So that the bird of peace...

can fly once more in safety.

Eat now, applaud later.

Enough applause. Let him speak.

Three more pages and he'll
plaster the walls with you.

War is a scar which
never heals. It is a cancer...

You'll feel better if
you straighten up.

There is no
peaceful end to our...

A time to end aggression?

Today is not soon enough.

Welcome, Mr. Kuryakin.

Would you care to sit down and
watch my favorite television show?

A hate which forms the
foundation for future war.

My friends...

where does this stop?

You're about to see
a page of history.

The tenth page
of Nahdi's speech.

When he turns it, psst.

He has two pages to go.

He's such a slow reader.

War has destroyed
entire cities...

stripped nations of their
youthful manpower...

torn fathers from their home
and left millions of women...

- and children homeless.
- Open Channel D.

- Illya, come in. NAHDI: So
under the guise of self-defense...

Illya, are you there?

- One nation builds a bomb.
- Illya, are you there?

- Their enemies build a bigger bomb.
- Nothing.

- Getting anything?
- Not now. Just a lot of static.

And a few more cavities.

- Eat. NAHDI:
Where does it stop?

Eat, eat.

The world is starving
and we build bombs.

So it's in the handkerchief.

That's hardly new, you know.

It originated with Thrush.

Oh?

I daresay Thrush
didn't use it, um...

as effectively as it will be
used in just a few seconds.

He's on Page 9 now.

The basis of hostility is...

Serves him right too.

Miss Canford?

Miss Canford.

Nellie?

ILLYA Miss Canford, the
bomb is in Nahdi's handkerchief.

Your tooth?

- Miss Canford.
- You getting something?

- Shh. ILLYA: It will
explode when he sneezes.

- Will you...?
- The handkerchief.

- What?
- Nahdi's handkerchief. It's a bomb.

And I could point clearly to...

A man has just jumped from the
visitor's gallery to the floor below...

glides across the table, pushed
President Nahdi into a chair.

He's holding his finger
under President Nahdi's nose.

Don't just stand there, get
the president a handkerchief.

Thank you, Mr. Solo.

And after spending a few days in New
York, I came back home to Newport News.

All in all, it was a very
exciting summer vacation.

Well, now, that's all
for today, children.

When the bell rings, I
want you to stand up...

and walk out like
ladies and gentlemen.

Come on.

- How does it feel to be back?
- Oh, wonderful.

I hope everything was all
right with the school board.

Oh, yes, and I didn't even miss a day's
pay. Well, thank you again, Mr. Waverly.

Ah, pay, yes, yes.
That reminds me. I, uh...

I have here, gentlemen,
your, uh, expense checks.

Oh.

I don't understand
this deduction, $12.14.

Yeah, it's on mine too.

Well, it seems that two trailing
arbutus plants were destroyed...

when Miss Canford disposed of your
overnight bag out of the window, ha, ha.

Oh, well, I'll pay for
them. I mean, it's only right.

Oh, Miss Canford, that's
very kind and generous of you.

But I daresay, Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin
can afford it rather better than you.

I mean, after all,
a teacher's pay...

That's true. And with
that big dental bill.

Yes, I meant to ask you about
that. How's your, uh, molar?

Oh, it's all fixed now. I don't
hear a thing on my tooth anymore.

- Except for, uh, one thing.
- What's that?

Well, I don't whether this is the right
thing for a schoolteacher to admit...

but, uh, well, I seem to have
developed quite a taste for, uh...

rum cookies.

Hmm.