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1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,924
[rock riff plays]
2
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,844
Did you bring it?
Jay's gonna be here any minute.
3
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:13,638
Yeah, it's your first time having sex,
and you have to be safe.
4
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,265
[inhales deeply, exhales]
5
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:18,601
I ran to the store to get condoms,
and I really needed this.
6
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:23,857
Grandparents are out of the house.
The zit on my back finally went away.
7
00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:25,608
The sex stars have aligned.
8
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,946
Leia, I am so tired of this virgin stuff.
9
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,406
Take the leap!
10
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:35,744
Okay. Get out of here.
11
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:39,748
You don't want me to hide in the shower
so I can give you pointers after?
12
00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:41,583
-Would you?
-Goodbye.
13
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,091
We have a problem.
14
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,343
-What happened?
-I messed up my shoulder.
15
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:53,261
Today?
16
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,764
On this, the most important day
of our young lives?
17
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:57,724
I'm sorry.
18
00:00:57,807 --> 00:01:00,393
I skateboarded in front of a car
that was moving a little.
19
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:03,855
But the doctor said it would've been worse
if it was moving a lot.
20
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,442
Wait, it's just your shoulder.
Do we really need that?
21
00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:10,320
You've seen me dance. I'm all shoulders.
22
00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,822
You know what's really sexy?
23
00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:14,783
Taking a few Advil.
24
00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:20,246
Leia... my body is a temple.
25
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:24,250
I mean, nothing goes in here
that I can't catch, kill, or grow.
26
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:27,504
My shoulder needs
something as natural as Sunny D.
27
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:31,716
"Xanthan gum, sodium benzoate,
sodium hexametaphosphate."
28
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,385
Those are science words
for what's in an orange.
29
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,471
[theme music plays]
30
00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:38,389
{\an8}♪ Hanging out down the street ♪
31
00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:40,475
{\an8}♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪
32
00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:42,644
{\an8}♪ Not a thing to do ♪
33
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,854
{\an8}♪ But talk to you ♪
34
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,482
{\an8}♪ We're all all right
We're all all right ♪
35
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:49,859
{\an8}Hello, Wisconsin!
36
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,907
Ooh! Give it to me! Give it to me!
37
00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:59,994
{\an8}"Hey, Donna, how are you?
How was the long drive from Chicago?"
38
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:04,082
{\an8}Oh. Sorry, honey, I got a Beanie Baby hole
that needs plugging.
39
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:08,086
{\an8}Oh! Chomps the Alligator!
40
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:10,880
{\an8}You are just...
41
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,507
{\an8}[straining]
42
00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:16,594
{\an8}Normally, I do this part in private.
43
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:21,182
{\an8}Lucky for you, I was the only one at CVS
who could reach the back of the top shelf.
44
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:25,645
{\an8}I hated that you and Eric were
the same height in your wedding pictures,
45
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,564
{\an8}but now it's really paying off.
46
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:28,982
{\an8}[laughs]
47
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:33,987
{\an8}See that? That's how she used
to look at Eric as a baby.
48
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:37,031
{\an8}You know, before the talking.
49
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:40,577
{\an8}Look, Red... Chomps is here.
50
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,036
{\an8}-[chuckles]
-[exclaims]
51
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,455
{\an8}Twenty more, and I will have
the whole collection.
52
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,875
{\an8}You told me this was
for a sick kid at your church.
53
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:50,253
{\an8}Aren't you happy that was a lie?
Everyone's okay.
54
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,631
{\an8}I didn't know this was a whole thing.
55
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,467
{\an8}You need to nip this in the bud.
I saw a lady like her on the news.
56
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:59,637
{\an8}She swallowed a bag of marbles
trying to become a Beanie Baby.
57
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:06,436
{\an8}Donna, when I look
at these stupid sacks of beans,
58
00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:09,606
{\an8}I see money.
59
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:10,690
{\an8}What?
60
00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:15,069
{\an8}Well, when Kitty dropped ten bucks
on Willie the Walrus one day,
61
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,946
{\an8}I about blew a gasket.
62
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:20,992
{\an8}But then I sold Willie
to a Girl Scout for 20 bucks.
63
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:24,245
{\an8}And that's how we became
business partners.
64
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,082
{\an8}We're gonna call it "I Dream of Beanie."
65
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,876
{\an8}[laughing]
66
00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:31,961
{\an8}[rock music playing]
67
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,006
{\an8}I hope someone's home.
68
00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:37,508
{\an8}I need a baggie
of all-natural pain relief.
69
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,010
{\an8}Leia was super horny.
70
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,178
{\an8}Whoa!
71
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:41,429
{\an8}Girl horny.
72
00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:44,641
{\an8}Dude, she was like boy horny.
73
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:47,602
{\an8}You guys don't know boy horny.
74
00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:50,855
{\an8}Hey. You know I applied
for that job at the Hub to show Nikki
75
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,732
{\an8}that I'm mature and responsible?
76
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,734
{\an8}Under job experience,
77
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:58,321
{\an8}I said that I was a lawyer
at the law firm of Ozzie and Ozzie, so...
78
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,907
{\an8}If they call you, be ready.
79
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,160
{\an8}I'm always ready to lie to an adult.
80
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,622
{\an8}Hey, kids! Man, I'm so embarrassed,
81
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:10,333
{\an8}'cause I'm in the middle
of a fight with my roommate.
82
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,584
{\an8}Excuse me for a second?
83
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:15,797
{\an8}Sit your dumb ass down,
or I will sit it down for you!
84
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:18,424
{\an8}Uh, is this a good time?
85
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,219
{\an8}Oh, this is a great time.
Especially for a life lesson.
86
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:25,014
{\an8}Come on in. Let me show you what
a real-life schmuck on wheels looks like.
87
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:30,186
Follow me, people of Point Place.
Thar she blows!
88
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:34,899
You're embarrassing yourself, bro.
It's your tramp stamp all over again.
89
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,735
He's got a panther
jumping over his butt crack.
90
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:43,866
Kids, this was my didgeridoo
until Bunch sat on it and broke it.
91
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:48,121
If you put your didgeridoo
in a sitting place, it's gonna get sat.
92
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:52,792
He doesn't understand. I'm stressed out
'cause I've taken over my dad's business.
93
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:56,087
This was the only thing
that helped me relax.
94
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:58,589
You do know
what's inside of your baggies, right?
95
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:03,970
Kids, a dime is fine from time to time,
but nothing does it like the 'doo.
96
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,931
Guys, look, I'm kind of in a rush here.
97
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,433
All we need is a baggie.
98
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,727
We'll get out before this gets personal.
99
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,980
I've known him since I was a kid.
This could never get personal.
100
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,524
Although look at the stupid way he chews.
101
00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:18,151
Man, you eat like a Muppet!
102
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,279
-We're going there? Okay.
-Yeah.
103
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:23,656
I banged your mom, and I'll do it again.
104
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:25,533
For real?
105
00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:28,494
[rock music playing]
106
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:35,043
Jay's out of commission for two weeks,
which means no sex for a fortnight.
107
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,794
[in British accent] A fortnight?
108
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,966
[normal] You're having sex with Jay,
not a British soldier.
109
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,595
I was so ready.
And I keep getting more and more ready.
110
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:49,098
Good thing you can solve
this problem... yourself.
111
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,018
Absolutely.
112
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,938
-Do you know what she's talking about?
-I don't.
113
00:05:56,522 --> 00:06:01,402
Leia, I'm talking about, you know...
scooping your own ice cream.
114
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,364
DJing your own party?
115
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,576
Why don't we just say the word
and own our sexuality?
116
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:09,869
Masturbation!
117
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,168
Oh, that's why we don't say it.
118
00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,712
Oh, that, yeah. [scoffs]
119
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,923
I've dusted my own bookshelf.
120
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,304
-And?
-It was fine.
121
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,015
Fine? Girl, it's not supposed to be fine.
122
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,809
It's supposed to be fine!
123
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:37,814
No, I don't understand.
I have the hottest go-to fantasy.
124
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,899
[dreamy music playing]
125
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:50,368
Doug, this sparkling apple juice
is perfectly chilled!
126
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:54,539
[both] I am so excited to write
about this in my journal.
127
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:55,915
[both gasp] Jinx!
128
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:57,375
[both laughing]
129
00:06:58,042 --> 00:07:01,379
Leia, you're prettier
than Patti Mayonnaise.
130
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,257
Uh-huh. Take off your vest.
131
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,301
But this is a family cartoon.
132
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,346
It's not Saturday morning anymore, Doug.
133
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,559
{\an8}[sultry guitar lick plays]
134
00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:15,977
Ooh!
135
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,186
Douglas!
136
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,272
[romantic music playing]
137
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,152
[barks quietly]
138
00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:28,990
Doug Funnie?
139
00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:31,826
He really knows my body.
140
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,871
You have to stop that.
141
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,707
Maybe think of a real-life boy.
142
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,084
Like, lately,
I've been thinking about him.
143
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,713
What? That's my go-to guy!
144
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:46,674
We have the same go-to guy?
145
00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,009
That is super weird.
146
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,555
I'd say it's a lot weirder than me
doing it with a TV celebrity.
147
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:57,560
Stop bringing up Doug.
He's not even hot for a cartoon.
148
00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:01,981
If you want to fast-track the whole thing,
try a shower head.
149
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:05,568
That got me through the first six months
of my relationship with Nate
150
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,487
before he started listening.
151
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:13,326
Fine. But for the record,
Doug Funnie is the kind of guy you marry.
152
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:14,952
And that's sexy.
153
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,662
[rock riff plays]
154
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:19,707
Smell it.
155
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,752
You can smell the quality.
156
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:25,796
It's pure as hell.
157
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,426
-I'll give you ten.
-Excuse me.
158
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:34,680
I was just driving by,
and this little fella just caught my eye.
159
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,767
Is that Chomps the Alligator?
160
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,520
Why, yes, it is, handsome neighbor.
161
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,480
Hot damn!
162
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,857
I'll give you 20 bucks for that!
163
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,567
-I'll do 25.
-30!
164
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:49,946
Okay, I'll do 35.
And I'll throw in Flippy the Fish.
165
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:53,533
I will need Flippy the fish,
Quackers the Duck, and Walter the Whale.
166
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:59,121
She means the limited edition Walter
with the bow tie.
167
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:02,416
I should've known
you jerks were working together.
168
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,544
The Beanie community is going to hell.
169
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,712
I'll be right back.
170
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,464
[rock riff plays]
171
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,595
Well, we sure cleaned that guy's clock.
172
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:19,642
When you said limited edition,
my teapot really started whistling.
173
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:20,601
[both laugh]
174
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,853
You liked that, did ya?
175
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,773
-[gravelly] Limited edition.
-[laughing]
176
00:09:25,856 --> 00:09:27,775
Not alone. You're not alone.
177
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,945
Listen, I'm worried about you guys.
178
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:35,283
You could get ripped off, or worse,
end up with a lot of Beanie Babies.
179
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,453
Well, we really appreciate you
looking out for us.
180
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:42,915
Okay, I said my piece. Do what you want.
181
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,586
Did we just get in trouble?
182
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,590
I don't know. I wasn't listening.
183
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:52,383
[rock music plays]
184
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:57,221
Hey, girl.
185
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,640
Are you talking to my mom?
186
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:04,478
Yeah, I'm talking to your mom.
And she's using her sexy voice.
187
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:09,317
Mom, don't fall for this!
He's trying to get back at me for banging...
188
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,651
Never mind!
189
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:13,821
I gotta get back to Leia.
190
00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:16,073
I mean, she wants to have sex with me.
191
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,576
And if I'm not there,
she'll scramble her own eggs.
192
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:20,995
We gotta do something.
193
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:21,996
Do we, though?
194
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:24,707
Let's just let them
bang each other's moms.
195
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,378
All we need is for Bunch
to apologize for breaking the...
196
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:31,631
the dongity-dong.
197
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,717
You're right. Let's show him.
198
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:36,427
Hey, guys.
199
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:40,181
It seems like the problem here
is that no one wants to apologize.
200
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:42,099
Okay, but it's super easy.
201
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:45,603
Nate, remember in sixth grade
202
00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:48,189
when your dirt bike got stolen,
and you were super sad?
203
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:53,110
I loved that bike.
We spent the whole summer looking for it.
204
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:56,322
Well, the truth is...
I was jealous, and I stole it.
205
00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:59,617
And I... Look, I'm really sorry, bro.
206
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,535
But now that I've apologized...
207
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,247
we can put it behind us.
208
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:07,750
You stole my bike?
209
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:12,630
Yeah, but I apologized.
So we're back to being best friends.
210
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,341
This is so messed up, dude.
211
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:18,302
When you got your new brown bike,
I was so happy for you!
212
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:24,558
Your new brown bike
was my bike painted brown?
213
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:28,604
You know, you just wouldn't shut up
about your new bike, bro.
214
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,190
All of us old bike kids hated you.
215
00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:32,733
You should be friends with them,
216
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,985
'cause I didn't know
my friend was a dickwad.
217
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,906
I'll be your new friend.
'Cause my friend sucks!
218
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:43,285
If you're gonna let him be his friend,
don't introduce him to your mom!
219
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,121
[rock riff plays]
220
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:53,212
So, if he's a prince in your fantasy,
are you, like, a princess?
221
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:54,755
No, I'm the president.
222
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:58,801
-What are you in yours?
-His bully.
223
00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:01,595
Shh...
224
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:05,224
Sometimes you just gotta...
Yeah, you gotta tap the bottom. Here.
225
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:19,280
Random question.
Have you ever been shoved in a locker?
226
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:21,866
No. Why, should I worry?
227
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,201
I haven't decided yet.
228
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,205
Did you leave a copy
of White Noise here last week?
229
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,249
Uh, yeah, I've been looking for that.
230
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,585
Well, I'm reading it right now.
231
00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:35,337
You take great notes.
232
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,341
I don't love that he's a reader.
233
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,719
But I can make it work.
234
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,097
[rock music plays]
235
00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:50,019
Boring.
236
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:53,272
Maybe.
237
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,566
[laughs]
238
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,026
I don't think so.
239
00:12:58,068 --> 00:12:59,361
[knocking at door]
240
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,823
[Red] What's going on in there?
Did you fall in?
241
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:04,825
Someone's doing homework in here!
242
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,915
[rock riff plays]
243
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:15,252
I just can't figure out
how the heck this thing broke!
244
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,421
Me either.
245
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:20,716
I was taking a very standard shower,
and it just came off.
246
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:22,384
It just came off?
247
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:23,385
Mm-hmm.
248
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:29,183
Okay.
249
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:33,562
Can we please talk about something else?
250
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,399
Well, it just makes no sense.
251
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:42,863
You'd have to pull so damn hard
to get that fitting to snap.
252
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:45,449
Oh!
253
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:50,746
Oh...
254
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,124
[sighs] Well, things happen.
255
00:13:56,710 --> 00:14:00,965
But if we don't figure it out...
then it might happen again.
256
00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:03,551
-Well...
-After this, probably not.
257
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,596
Are we here to chitchat,
or are we here to eat?
258
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:17,523
I know. I'll talk to the guys
down at the plumbing supply about this.
259
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:18,983
They'll know.
260
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,277
Sure, they'll know.
261
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,530
They always know.
262
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,868
He's gonna talk to the guys?
263
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,953
[rock music playing]
264
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:35,875
-Scrote!
-Sack!
265
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,126
-Chode!
-Scrote!
266
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:41,088
He already said that. There you go,
stealing things all over again.
267
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:45,634
Enough! We are solving this... now.
268
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,720
I'm sorry I broke your didge.
269
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,138
It was a cry for help.
270
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,724
It's just you were spending
so much time with it.
271
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,684
I started to feel invisible.
272
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,519
And it got real bad.
273
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:58,272
I couldn't even see myself in that mirror.
274
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,065
That's a window.
275
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:04,862
You know, it's not easy
being Leo's kid, man.
276
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:08,741
I'll be honest with you.
He's so organized and intellectual, man.
277
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:13,621
But still, I hear his voice
in my head all the time.
278
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,957
Or is that my voice
I hear in my head all the time?
279
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:20,002
Wait a minute. Am I talking,
or is my dad talking right now?
280
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,171
It's okay.
281
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,924
Together, we can do anything.
282
00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:26,759
The more you know.
283
00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:29,595
Only you can prevent forest fires.
284
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:32,681
[sighs]
285
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:33,933
You know what, man?
286
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:38,270
I spent all those years just...
wondering where my bike was.
287
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:42,608
My best friend... was riding her all along.
288
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:45,569
Now that I know that, I...
289
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:49,031
I can release her ghost
into dirt bike heaven.
290
00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:52,868
She's not dead, man.
291
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:56,956
Remember that blue bike I got you
a couple years ago for your birthday?
292
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:58,791
That's your girl.
293
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,713
I've been riding her all along?
294
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,383
Full circle.
295
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,343
[kisses]
296
00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:15,474
This song is called "Brown Bike,
Blue Bike, Same Bike."
297
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,602
[deep note sounding]
298
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,479
Ooh, I'mma lay down some harmony.
299
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:23,023
[high note sounding]
300
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,069
[middle note sounding]
301
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:32,908
I wish I could stay to see this,
but my shoulder feels great.
302
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,160
I gotta go see Leia.
303
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,833
I don't want to be rude.
304
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,670
[didgeridoos harmonizing]
305
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,882
[rock music playing]
306
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,058
[light knocking]
307
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:00,436
Hey. Need any help?
308
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,938
I'm not even good at doing this by myself.
309
00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:06,984
Why am I the most embarrassing
person in the world?
310
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,862
Your grandparents are blowing
their savings on stuffed animals.
311
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:12,656
You're not even the most embarrassing
person in this house.
312
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,993
You're a teenager.
313
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,912
You're figuring stuff out.
314
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,081
It's normal to not know what you're doing.
315
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,585
But all my friends are, like, sex experts.
316
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,045
Uh, they're not.
317
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:30,174
You know what? Forget all this.
318
00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:33,135
I'm putting off any sex stuff
until I'm in my 40s.
319
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:35,846
You wait too long, it gets weird.
320
00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:40,559
You've met your dad's friend, Gene?
That's what that looks like.
321
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:46,106
Listen. There are no magic secrets
to any of this.
322
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:50,194
Just expect that everything related to sex
is super awkward at first.
323
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,989
And anything that isn't is a fun surprise.
324
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,325
Just take your time,
325
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,952
make sure that you are comfortable,
326
00:17:59,036 --> 00:17:59,870
and be safe.
327
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:01,914
Thanks.
328
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:07,544
Poor Gene. He's so good at juggling.
You'd think he'd be able to find a woman.
329
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,547
Sweetie, you have so much to learn.
330
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:12,758
[rock riff plays]
331
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:16,053
Put that apron on
and get back in the kitchen.
332
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:20,974
Uh, this is fun and all,
but you wouldn't actually date him, right?
333
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,811
No way. Look at his little hips.
334
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,395
I could snap him in half.
335
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:28,023
Good. 'Cause I want to.
336
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:31,819
Break up with him. Give him
one last swirly and kiss him goodbye.
337
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:35,072
You want me to kiss him
after his head's been in a toilet?
338
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:36,615
None of this is real.
339
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:40,494
Fine. I'll find a new go-to.
340
00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,705
I wonder if Lenny Kravitz
likes being bullied.
341
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:44,998
It's better if he doesn't.
342
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:47,793
Hey!
343
00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:50,254
-What are you doing?
-Nothing.
344
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,007
-My friend thinks you're hot.
-Sorry.
345
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:54,925
She's...
346
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:56,844
correct.
347
00:18:57,344 --> 00:19:01,265
I clock out in a bit if you want to hang.
I'll tell you how the book ends.
348
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:05,727
-I thought you didn't finish it.
-Uh, I'm insecure about how fast I read.
349
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,980
I didn't want to embarrass myself.
350
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,191
Me too. We could do a daily book club.
351
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,610
-I call president.
-How about we be co-presidents?
352
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:17,239
Trust me. You really want me
to be the president.
353
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:20,659
[rock riff playing]
354
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:22,703
[knocking at door]
355
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:23,745
[Red] Come in!
356
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,709
Hello, Donna!
357
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,211
Have you guys been drinking?
358
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:35,549
We stopped at Applebee's
on the way home for a few drinks, Mom!
359
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:40,846
And if they're gonna charge us
five dollars for a margarita...
360
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,099
I'm leaving with a snowshoe.
361
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:48,103
We were celebrating. Earlier today...
362
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,188
Too close.
363
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,734
We sold all the Beanies.
Red, hand me my purse.
364
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,154
Yup.
365
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,948
I can't put this thing down.
366
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,451
What if it snows?
367
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:05,996
He was doing shots with a lacrosse team.
368
00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:10,500
We got a ride home on their bus.
They loved my songs.
369
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:11,585
Too close again.
370
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:14,838
Did you guys at least break even?
371
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:19,760
Oh. Break even? We came home
with 1,500 dollars cold, hard cash.
372
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:22,221
And a snowshoe.
373
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,723
Let's not lose sight of that.
374
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:26,808
I never should've doubted you.
375
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:31,146
I didn't realize my comments in passing
would inspire such a big reaction.
376
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,358
Well, you could fill a room
with what you didn't realize.
377
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:37,194
Okay.
378
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,279
I'm gonna go to bed now.
379
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:42,741
And I'm gonna leave super early
so we don't have to talk about this.
380
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:45,452
Another great trip in the books.
381
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,665
[sputtering]
382
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:50,624
Kitty!
383
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:53,710
Yeah?
384
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:55,837
Kitty!
385
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:04,012
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned...
386
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,641
No, you're a good man.
387
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:14,314
That was really fun, doing that together.
388
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,066
It was.
389
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,484
[laughs]
390
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:19,069
Kitty.
391
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:25,701
Listen to me.
392
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:29,746
We gotta go back for the other snowshoe.
393
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:32,249
[rock music playing]
394
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:37,421
Leia.
395
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:40,799
I'm back, baby!
396
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:45,345
So you're 100%? That means we could...
397
00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,305
Do it.
398
00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:48,682
Were you gonna say "do it?"
399
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:51,476
Yes, I was.
400
00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:58,567
Is everything okay?
401
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:00,986
Your hands are clammy.
402
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:04,698
I get like this before I have sex.
403
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:06,325
I think.
404
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,996
Actually,
now that this is really happening,
405
00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:12,539
I'm nervous.
406
00:22:12,622 --> 00:22:13,623
Oh.
407
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:17,711
Well... look, we don't have to do this.
408
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,047
No, I want to.
409
00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:23,425
It's just... what if I do it wrong?
410
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:24,468
Um...
411
00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:27,304
I don't think you can.
412
00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:30,182
Leia.
413
00:22:30,974 --> 00:22:32,059
It's fine.
414
00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:34,853
Really. I mean,
maybe today's just not the day.
415
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:38,607
Why don't we just... sit here and hang out?
416
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:41,193
Yeah. It's nice.
417
00:22:43,403 --> 00:22:45,822
I know something
that might make you feel better.
418
00:22:46,573 --> 00:22:47,657
I can do this now.
419
00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:49,868
[chuckles]
420
00:22:49,951 --> 00:22:51,745
Hey, it's not funny.
421
00:22:51,828 --> 00:22:54,748
Okay? Shoulder dancing
is an undervalued art form.
422
00:22:56,583 --> 00:22:58,043
-Try it.
-[chuckles]
423
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,379
[chuckling]
424
00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:02,339
Whoa! I'm really good at this.
425
00:23:03,673 --> 00:23:05,258
You've been practicing, huh?
426
00:23:11,848 --> 00:23:12,808
What?
427
00:23:14,768 --> 00:23:15,685
Today's the day.
428
00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:18,313
["Fade into You" by Mazzy Star playing]
429
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:21,983
♪ Fade into you ♪
430
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:30,075
Oh, Leia! You're even prettier
than Patti Mayonnaise!
431
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,160
Uh-huh.
432
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:33,328
Take off your vest.
433
00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:37,958
[kissing sounds]
434
00:23:38,041 --> 00:23:40,460
At least we still have each other. [barks]
435
00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:44,923
[kissing sounds]
436
00:23:45,006 --> 00:23:46,716
[song fades out]
437
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:47,843
[sighs]
438
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:49,386
I really hope I get hired.
439
00:23:49,469 --> 00:23:52,347
When Nikki sees me working here,
she'll think it's badass.
440
00:23:57,769 --> 00:23:59,938
I think that guy stole your idea.
441
00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:05,193
We're still gonna get burgers, right?
442
00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:07,612
Yeah.
443
00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:11,324
[closing theme music playing]
33177
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