Original subtitles

Hey!

Hey!

You want to buy some peanuts?

Peanuts?

No!

It's a long trip down there.

You're liable to get hungry.

Can't you see I'm trying to commit suicide?

That's a very bad habit to get into.

I'm only going to do it this once.

Must you?

Yes.

I'm sick of getting into trouble.

How?

Sticking my nose in other people's business.

Oh, so that's it.

Sit down, here.

Have a bag of peanuts.

They're on the house.

So what happens?

It's a long story.

Go ahead.

I got a lot of peanuts.

I was a young fella.

She was a farmer's daughter.

I've heard that one before.

Wait.

You don't understand.

For 20 years we planned on getting

married, then all of a sudden...

That's too bad.

What do you mean, too bad?

I struck oil.

Oh, you mean...

That's right.

A couple of days ago we were married.

Yesterday we were driving up here for our honeymoon.

You and the farmer's daughter?

Me and the most beautiful girl in the world.

Only 15 more miles, and we'll be there.

We've waited a long time for this, Emmy.

Oh, but you were worth waiting for, Sam.

So are you, honey.

OK, break it up.

Oh.

Sorry, officer.

You see, we're fresh married.

Not really?

Let me get your driver's license?

Somewhere.

Here.

Here it is.

Would you mind driving?

Oh.

Ouch!

Oh!

I'm sorry.

You oughta be!

Well, I thought you were a guy, trying to cop something.

I just wanted to borrow your tire pump.

And since when do I look like a guy?

Well, from where I was standing, I couldn't tell.

Does it hurt?

Of course it does.

Well, maybe I could help?

Never mind, never mind.

Oh!

Excuse me.

- Can I help? - No, thanks.

No, thanks.

Everything's all right.

Now, now, children, that's no way to act.

Why don't you throw that club away, neighbor, and kiss

and make up?

Say, that's not a bad idea.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

She's a little bashful, but we'll be all right, buddy.

We understand.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Here.

Here, let me do that.

I'd rather not trouble you.

Oh, it's no trouble at all, baby.

Give me a chance to improve my score.

Your score?

Sure.

So far it's not so good.

One hit, one error.

Get it?

Yeah, I get it.

Better?

Yes, thanks.

How far you gotta go?

Westwell.

Oh, it's about 40 miles from here.

I live there.

40 miles?

Say, that tire's pretty thin.

I'd better follow you in case something happens to... Oh,

you needn't bother.

It's no bother at all.

I gotta go that way, Niagara Falls.

Niagara Falls?

Where's your wife?

I haven't any wife.

Naw, and I don't want one.

Oh, you don't?

Well, maybe someday, after I've had my fling,

but not when I'm young.

No sir, I can have too much fun on the prowl.

On the prowl?

Yes.

Take our case, for example.

If you were married, I was married,

we'd both be out of circulation.

Who knows?

This might turn into a beautiful friendship.

You know, they built statures for the guy who wrote

the Wedding March, but the guy who wrote the line, he who

loves and runs away lives to live another day had

a formula for a lot more fun.

I bet you feel the same way about it, don't you?

Oh, no I don't.

But I'm glad to know how you feel.

Now, you can just take your pump and go.

Well hey, wait a minute.

Don't get me wrong, I just meant I'm not the marrying kind.

It's nothing to get sore about.

You get away from me, you... you wolf!

Wolf?

Yes.

But you picked the wrong Little Red Riding Hood this time.

You see, I am the marrying kind.

Oh.

And I'm going to marry while I'm young, and have children.

Oodles of children.

Well go ahead.

Have a couple of dozen of 'em.

And there'll be no divorce, either.

It'll be till death do us part.

Well, I'm not waiting for death, sister.

Goodbye.

Happy marriage.

Kiss the kiddies for me.

All 24.

I'll thank you to keep my children out of this!

He who loves and runs away lives to love another day.

So I'm a wolf, huh?

Gonna get married young, and oodles of children.

No divorces.

Who cares?

Ooh!

Kiss the kiddies for me.

OK, how much?

10 geese.

That's 50 bucks.

50 bucks?

That's $5 a goose?

That's right.

You learning to drive, lady?

Listen to me, horn blower!

I've been driving a car ever since I was 12 years old,

and I've never had an accident...

Hey, look out!

- Are ya hurt? - Of course I'm hurt!

Where?

Never mind!

Go away, and leave me alone.

OK, if that's the way you feel about it.

Oh, so you would leave me in a spot like this?

Well, you just said to...

Don't tell me what I said.

What goes on here?

Oh, he ran me off the road.

I did not!

Officer, I was just trying to pass her with my...

Shh.

One at a time.

I can't hear you both.

Go ahead, miss.

What happened?

Well, he tried to pick me up.

I tried to pick you up?

Why, I wouldn't pick you up if I was starving,

and you were a ham sandwich.

With mustard.

Now, take it easy.

You're a little excited.

Look, lad, you'd better drive her into town,

and I'll follow along.

What?

Me drive with that would be Casanova?

I'd rather hitchhike.

Well, I guess you can get going.

Well, thank you officer, very much.

Hitchhiking's against the law, but I'll get you there.

Get on.

Oh, thanks.

Here you are.

Say, isn't it pretty bumpy?

You shouldn't mind a few bumps at your age.

Well, it isn't my age, exactly, as... well, excuse me.

Just a minute.

Something wrong with the seat?

No, officer.

Never mind, it's nothing.

Just drive right ahead.

Welcome to Falls View Hotel.

Hunter's the name.

I'm the manager.

Pleased to meet ya. I'm Sam Sawyer.

- From Oklahoma? - Yep.

Oh, yes.

Your reservations are all ready for you.

Fine.

I'm sure you'll find everything to your liking.

Looks mighty pretty to me.

How about you, Emmy?

Oh, beautiful.

Oh, pardon me.

This is Miss... I mean, Mrs. Sawyer.

My mistake.

I wouldn't exactly call it a mistake.

How do you do?

Oh!

Dear me.

Oh... Nice one.

Would you mind registering, please?

Sure.

Here you are, sir.

Thank you.

Now, where do I sign?

Right there, please.

Is someone shaking the desk?

No, I'm afraid you're a trifle nervous.

Now settle down, Sam, and don't be nervous.

I ain't nervous, Emmy.

Pardon me.

Perhaps you'd better do it.

Do you mind?

Not at all.

You see, we've never stopped at a big hotel before.

I understand.

Thank you.

The bellboys are very busy.

We have 350 guests.

Really?

Let me have the key to the bridal suite.

- Bridal suite? - Yes.

I'd better take you up myself.

Don't trouble yourself.

We'll wait.

Oh, it's no trouble.

But we don't want to go up just now.

We'd rather just sit down and relax a minute.

Wouldn't we, Emmy?

Well, I thought...

Thank you.

Comfy here, ain't it?

Do you think so?

Welcome to Falls View Hotel.

Uh, your register, please?

Oh, I...

This way, please.

Up, please.

The elevators are over here.

Thanks for that.

I'll have your car here in the morning.

Thank you very much.

The correct time is exactly 7:15.

Welcome to Falls View Hotel.

I want a room.

Well, the bridal suites are all taken, but I...

Bridal suite?

No, I just want a room.

So do I.

Naturally.

Show this couple to 427.

Wait a minute.

I said I wanted a room.

Yes, I understand.

And I'm sure that you'll both like 427.

Now, look, get this straight.

I want a room, and she wants a room.

That's two rooms.

That's rather unusual.

What's unusual about it?

Well, no, I'm sure that if you'll take this

room and just talk things...

I don't want to talk.

And I wouldn't listen if he did.

Oh, now I wouldn't be too hasty.

We all have our little troubles.

Little troubles?

Listen, mister, all I've ever had since I

met this girl is trouble.

Give me that key.

Come on.

Excuse me, please.

Mm-hm.

Oh, uh, you forgot to register for...

I can write.

Never mind.

I'll take care of it.

Tom Wilson and wife.

Oh, but Sam, I... I...

Hey, usher!

But Sam, it's none of your business.

No use arguing, Emmy.

I just got to do it.

Mr. Potter, we've decided that young couple would

be happier in our bridal suite.

But I don't understand.

It may be just the thing to bring them together again.

And we can take their room.

Can't we, Emmy?

But I was looking forward...

You see?

It's all right with Emmy.

Well, the customer's always right.

Boy, put that unhappy couple in the bridal suite.

Yes, sir.

I hope you won't regret your generosity.

Give, and ye shall receive.

That's my motto.

Lovely day, wasn't it?

No!

We're all ready, sir.

Go on ahead.

It's too crowded for me.

Yes, sir.

This way, please.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Right here, sir.

Oh, thanks.

Well, this is all right.

Here you go.

Thank you, sir.

May I come in?

I guess so.

I just had to look the place over.

You know how it is.

I've been dreaming about these rooms for 20 years,

and I pictured how it might have been.

Sam sitting right there.

Can't you see?

Well, no, I...

You can't?

Oh, you mean sitting right there?

Mm-hm.

Oh, yes.

Excuse me, Sam.

Sam and I reserved these rooms for our honeymoon.

Oh.

So that's it.

But he thought you needed them more than we did.

Oh, you shouldn't have done that.

I'll get my things to get a move right out of here.

Oh, no, no.

Sam wouldn't think of taking them back.

Oh, but really, I don't need all this room.

I...

Oh, it's beautiful.

Do you mind if I look in there?

Why, no. Go right ahead.

Make yourself at home.

Oh, it's wonderful.

Why did I have to give it up?

Soft.

Oh, Sam.

Isn't this lovely?

What did you say, Sam?

Do you really want me to sit in your lap?

Well, if you insist.

Oh, Sam.

You're wonderful.

Stop, Sam.

Stop.

You know I'm ticklish.

Coochie coochie cooch.

Oh, stop tickling me, Sam.

Oh... just think, Sam.

After 20 long years, alone at last.

I beg your pardon, lady?

Oh, dear.

We're not alone.

And you're not dressed!

What?

Oh, sorry.

Oh, that's better.

Thank you.

- Hey! - Oh, dear.

I'm sorry.

No clothes!

Well, what are you doing here?

What am I doing here?

What are you doing here?

This is my room.

I beg your pardon?

This happens to be my room.

We'll see about that.

You bet we will.

Hello?

Give me the manager.

And give me my negligee.

All right.

Give me my coat.

Whose room is this?

Mine or his?

Yes, whose home is this?

Hers or mine?

You don't have to yell in my ear.

I'm yelling in the manager's ear.

Please, please, one at a time.

What kind of a manager are you?

Yes, what kind of a hotel is this?

I wanted a room.

I wanted another room.

Yes, that makes two rooms, remember?

Hello, Mr. Sawyer.

I'm afraid we've made a terrible mistake.

The young couple?

Stop that.

Just let me handle this, Mr. Potter.

But you see...

Please.

I've been settling other people's affairs all my life.

Haven't I, Emmy?

Yes, but I wouldn't advise you...

See?

Just dismiss it from your mind.

I ain't never made a mistake yet.

Come, Emmy.

Sam.

Yes, Sammy?

Where did you come from?

Harlem, sir.

My mistake.

Yes, sir.

We'll see who gets thrown out!

I'm not in.

But...

Don't they ever sweep around here?

What do you mean by hanging up the phone in my ear?

Oh, it wasn't me, madam.

It must have been Mr. Potter, the manager.

Well, then I want to speak to him.

Yes, where is he?

Mr. Potter seems to have disappeared.

Won't I do?

Well, why should I punch you in the nose?

Just one question.

Is that my room or not?

Your room?

Oh, yes, of course.

All right, then.

Throw him out.

Just as you say.

You'll throw who out?

Oh... uh... I just came on duty.

I'm a little confused.

Well, if she isn't out of that room by the time

I've finished eating, you'll get what

I've been saving for Potter.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Oh...

Oh... Oh, Mr. Potter, what was he saving for you, sir?

The punch in the nose.

Oh.

All alone.

Pardon me.

This way, please.

It didn't work, Sam.

Maybe we could take our bridal suite back again?

Emmy, you can't be an Indian giver.

Besides, we gotta give 'em...

Yes, sir?

He's her husband.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Don't you think you'd better eat

something before it gets cold?

Hi, neighbor.

Hi.

But aren't you going to sit with the lady?

Say, what is this, a hotel or a Lonely Hearts Club?

But I understood...

That's the point.

You don't understand.

Thank you very much, I can take care of my own affairs.

Well, it's just as much my affairs as it is yours.

Oh, now look, lady.

Are we going to start this all over again?

I hope not.

How do you like that guy?

Somebody oughta sock him in the kisser.

With a bat.

Yeah.

Another menu, please?

That guy binds me up.

Well, stop talking, and do something.

Go over and sock the big sap.

I think I got an idea.

I don't like your attitude.

What is this?

They don't treat dames that way where I come from.

Well, just where do you come from?

Brooklyn.

And no cracks.

Please...

Take it easy, pop.

This guy's asking for a poke in the nose.

Well, all right.

Let's poke noses.

Oh, yeah?

Hey!

Give me a hand.

Sam!

Feel better, Sam?

I'm all right, Emmy.

Just a little dizzy.

Now, now, children, this is no way to act.

Let's go back and talk it over.

You'll never get me back in that room.

Now, sonny...

Why don't you mind your own business?

Didn't you like the bridal suite?

No!

All right, you two.

Hey.

Hey, wait a minute, buddy.

Why, you lovebirds will do better in a smaller nest.

You're switching rooms with us.

You don't know what you're doing.

Oh, yes I do.

But we're not...

The guy's batty.

Come on, get moving.

Yes, sir.

Right around the corner, down the hall.

No back talk, now.

I'll learn ya.

Be right back, Emmy.

Hurry, dear.

He's crazy, all right.

Now, why don't you kiss and make up?

Kiss?

Come on.

That's better.

I knew all you two needed was a little persuading.

See you in the morning.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello, manager?

Hello?

- Goodnight. - Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Uh-uh.

Do not disturb.

But I live here.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Go right ahead.

Thank you.

Why doesn't she mind her own business?

Emmy?

Yes, dear?

It worked, Emmy.

They're closer than two peas in a pod.

Nothing will ever split 'em up now.

Oh, Sam.

You're wonderful.

Emmy...

Oh... Hey... Sam?

Oh... Hey... Sam?

Sam?

Oh, you're hiding.

I hope.

Sam?

Well...

Thanks, pal.

Don't mention it.

Oh... I was just going out to take a look at the falls.

The view is much better from the inside.

Oh, it is?

Thank you very much.

Don't tell me Daniel Boone is here again.

Yep.

And I'm going to stay right outside the door

until you two make up.

There's only one way to get rid of the guy... that's to make

him think we're in love.

Now, if...

Oh, no you don't.

Oh, now look, lady, I don't like this anymore than you do.

Well, you stay away from me.

It's our only chance.

All right, but you keep your distance.

Don't worry, I will.

Darling, uh, we've been awfully silly, haven't we?

Yes, and it took that sweet, lovely stranger

to open our eyes.

I'll never leave you again, dear.

Not even wild horses could drive me away.

I must have been crazy to think I could ever live even a day

without my sweet mansie-wansie.

Kiss me again, sweetheart.

This is wonderful, isn't it, darling?

Nope.

You'll have to do better than that.

Why don't you two get together?

Uh-uh.

More like this.

Hey, take it easy.

You take it easy.

There.

That's more like it.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Well, that's not so bad.

Let's try it again.

Get away from me.

Just as I thought.

Now, you two get back together again.

You might as well stay together permanently, cause

I'm gonna be right out here.

All night.

All night?

Well, that's what the man said.

- Howdy. - Howdy.

- You looking for something? - Yes.

Yes.

I, uh... which way are the elevators?

Back there.

Oh.

Thank you.

Is that you, dear?

Yes, honey.

Sorry I ran out like I did, but those kids

needed more managing.

Everything all right now?

I got 'em tucked in for the night.

Stay away...

Shh.

He's getting up again.

What do we do?

- Well, the same thing. - Same thing?

Sure.

Well, let's put on a real good act this time,

and maybe he'll go away.

Oh, you bet.

Because in my book of rules, two people

locked in the same room together all night

still have to get married.

Sure.

What?

What's the matter?

Oh, on second thought, this won't do us any good.

I've gotta get outta here.

Good luck.

Wait.

Don't jump.

I'm not gonna jump.

Get back there!

Oh, why don't you leave me alone?

Gonna give me more trouble, huh?

I'll be right back, Emmy.

Oh, but Sam... I...

You again?

Yep.

Get back there.

Get going.

Why don't you be reasonable, mister?

You give up hard, but I give up harder.

You're making an awful mistake.

Oh, no, I ain't.

Yes you are.

We're not married.

You expect me to believe that?

You must think I'm crazy.

Oh, no.

Not much.

Well, then stop arguing and stay put.

Get in there.

Back again, huh?

Yeah, back again.

Well, why didn't you tell...

Did you ever try to talk to a crazy man

with a gun that's loaded?

What a spot.

A crazy man on the outside, and you on the inside.

Scat. Scat.

All I need now is to have it start raining.

Sweetums?

Sweetums?

Yes, snookums?

Love me?

Uh-huh.

Do you love me?

Uh-huh.

Are you cold, honey?

Uh-uh.

Honey?

Huh?

Do you mind if I ask you something very personal?

Uh-uh.

Have you ever had any trouble with your feet?

Uh-uh.

Did you used to do a lot of walking?

Uh-uh.

Honey?

Yeah, dear?

Were you born with feet like that?

What's the matter with my feet?

Don't you think they're kind of big for a little girl like you?

No. Why?

Well, I was just...

Howdy, folks.

Howdy.

Just passing through.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Hey!

Are you back, Sam?

Yes, Emmy.

And this time for good.

Sam.

Oh, stop.

Oh, you didn't shave.

But I love you just the same.

Scat!

What... Oh, dear, it's you.

What... Oh, dear, it's you.

Are you hurt?

No, I'm all right, Emmy.

Oh, Sam.

Oh, you'd better get to bed.

I thought you were a cat.

Cat?

Yes, it got right up there in my...

I can't understand how anybody can be so stubborn.

Don't you think it's about time to forget about them,

and think about us?

Nope.

I can be just as stubborn as they can.

Oh, but Sam... oh, dear.

You see...

I'll out sit 'em if it all night.

And he's not kidding.

So you might just as well relax.

Goodnight, Emmy.

Oh.

Goodnight.

Oh!

Scat!

Aw, it's no use.

The guy's got insomnia.

Say, he's asleep.

What?

Now's your chance!

By the way, what's your name?

Margy Blake.

What's yours?

Tom Wilson.

Well, I'll be seeing ya.

So long.

Bye.

Oh.

Good morning, sir.

Good morning.

Guess this seems a little odd to ya.

I understand.

Just a lover's quarrel.

Perhaps I can help?

Oh, no, I... maybe you can.

Right this way, please.

There you are, sir.

Thanks, buddy.

Anybody home?

Oh, hello.

- Did you forget something? - Yes.

You.

See who I've got here with me?

This is Dr. John Foster, and Mr. Clark, the witness.

Witness?

Sure.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

I've decided to marry you.

Well, of all the nerve.

You've decided to marry me?

I like that.

Well, what's the matter with it?

Nothing.

Except I hardly know you.

I've never even told you I liked you.

And you haven't even proposed.

You mean I gotta marry you, and propose to you, too?

Well, it is customary.

That kind of makes it tougher.

I've never done this before.

Do I have to do it, doctor?

Mm-hm.

OK.

Here goes.

Darling... darling, look, how would you like to file

your income tax with mine?

And have a little exemption running around the house?

I mean, if you haven't got anything better to do today,

how would you like to change your name to mine?

Oh...

What do you say we just get married, huh?

No.

And no girl would after that proposal.

Guess it was pretty bad.

Well, it was terrible.

Can't blame a fella for trying.

Well, so long.

So long.

Sorry I bothered you, doctor.

Hey, I guess you're right at that.

No reason to go away mad, is there?

The doctor says to show that there isn't any hard feelings,

we oughta kiss each other goodbye.

If that's what the doctor ordered, I...

Oh, yeah.

That's what the doctor ordered.

Do you, Thomas Wilson, take this woman to be

your lawfully wedded wife?

Good morning, officer.

Good morning.

Will you tell Miss Blake her car is here?

Why, there's no Miss Blake registered.

There's no miss anybody registered.

They're all missuses.

She's here. Checked in last night.

Oh, but it must be a mistake.

No, there's no mistake.

I brought her here myself.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, about 5 foot 4

and, uh, a red sport coat with the...

Big buttons?

That's right.

Oh, you mean Mrs. Wilson?

No, I mean Miss Blake.

You mean she isn't not married?

No, she isn't married.

Are you sure?

Certainly I'm sure.

Not married?

Front!

Front, boys.

Boys, go up to the fourth floor bridal suite

- and throw those imposters out. - Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Right away.

I hope you'll always be very happy.

Aw, thank you, sir.

They must be in the bedroom!

Oh!

Well, who are you?

Boys, there must be some mistake.

There is, and you made it!

But what do you want?

Is something burning?

Yeah, the manager.

Here, let me down.

Oh, please, please be calm.

Be calm?

I thought this was a respectable hotel.

It is, madam, I assure you.

Oh, jeepers, what's my mother going to say

when she hears about this?

Put me down!

Turn me loose!

Put me down!

Down!

This is the Sawyers.

You're darn right it's the Sawyers.

What does this mean?

Where did you get these people?

In the fourth floor bridal suite.

But I thought you gave up the bridal suite?

We did.

But we took it back again.

Then that young couple must have left the hotel

some time during the night.

See?

There's nothing to be upset about after all.

Now just relax, everybody.

Congratulations, Mr. Sawyer.

You saved the reputation of the Falls View Hotel.

Reputation?

Those people weren't married.

Not married?

Sam, they weren't married.

Come along, Emmy.

Well, aren't you going to tell him?

Don't you realize...

I realize you've stuck your big nose in once too often.

- Shh. - Two wrongs don't make a right.

Emmy, please...

You've got to tell him.

It's the only honorable thing to do.

- Tell me what? - Well, you see...

Never mind. I'll tell him.

Now, Mr. Potter, when I took back our bridal suite,

I put that young couple in our room.

You wha... then they're still in the hotel?

That's right.

Mr. Sawyer!

Your meddling has aided and abetted

in the ruination of this hotel.

Oh, Sam, you oughta be ashamed of yourself.

There they are now.

Boys, boys...

Young man, you've deceived me.

I what?

Throw them out!

Hey, wait!

Throw 'em out!

Are you guys crazy?

Throw 'em out!

Hey!

Hey, what's the idea?

And stay out.

Hotheaded little fella, ain't he?

I don't get it.

I think I do.

Yeah.

I think I do, too.

Excuse me.

Well, that's how it happened.

It's a bad habit, sticking your nose

in other people's business.

But that's the way I am, and I guess

nothing will ever cure me.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

I'm gonna start minding my own business before it's too late.

Too late!