Original subtitles

"The atmosphere is about to change.

Now the atmosphere is about to change.

I agree that you have a serious problem.

But an even bigger disaster is about to sneak up. "

-Wow! Wonderful! -Please carry on.

"The atmosphere is about to change.

Now the atmosphere is about to change. "

-Wow! -With these lines,

I would like to bid farewell to you guys.

Wonderful, sir! Mr. Pradeep Kumar Pechida

was on stage with us in this changed atmosphere.

And now...

I would like to invite to the stage

The kind-hearted poet Mr. Firozullah alias Mr. Vyakul.

Hello, and greetings to all.

So, friends, I want to tell you something before I start.

A poet...

came just before me.

Really,

he is a mystery to me.

I have never heard such a poor poem in my life.

Pradeep Pechida.

As his name is absurd, so is his poetry.

Hello, Mr. Poet Emperor! Don't talk much. Recite your poem.

I just wrote this poem.

Your mentality is so twisted!

This is my condolences to the poetry lying on the pyre.

So four lines are presented to you.

'shame on you, Pechida! Shame on you!

Listen to me, Chanchal's lowly fellow!

The government fund for struggling poets

was blown away by both of you together.

You can never be a poet!

-You both have killed poetry. " -Who the hell is he?

-"You cheaters... " -Get lost! Stop talking!

-Bloody Poet Emperor! Scoundrel! -Want to be a poet?

-Stop talking and get lost! -He thinks of himself as Ghalib.

We'll beat you like hell. Doing meaningless poetry.

Don't force us, or we will kill you right here.

-You scoundrel! -Sir...

-I was looking for a bathroom. -Shut up!

Don't let him go! You scoundrel!

Please forgive me!

-You want me to forgive you? -I wasn't doing anything.

What the hell were you doing?

I have a hearing problem,

so I was talking closer to her so that she could hear me.

-Bathroom... -That close?

That girl called me, "Brother, come here. "

-You... -Sir...

Sir, sorry.

I'll never look for a bathroom now. I'll piss wherever I get a chance.

-Sir, I'm sorry... -Get lost!

-Get lost! -I'm sorry.

There is hardly any place left in the world

where this man has not expected sex.

Meet him. He is the son of Uttam Pradesh.

Viagra overdose, Manoj.

It seems like ever since he started writing,

the world has been in ruins.

He is the other son of Uttam Pradesh.

He is the discovery of a long research of despair.

Firoz.

Manoj is jobless these days.

For every heart-warming beauty who dreams of good days,

his name is Kamal.

It's not that Manoj alone

is doing the service

of the National Unemployment Program.

Firoz, the struggling journalist of the district, is also

standing shoulder to shoulder with him in this auspicious work.

Well,

this is the abode of the vagrants of Mahmudabad in this city.

Their neighbour Uma, suffering from the oppression

of his wife, often comes here.

Bachelors!

Not means no. All means everyone.

The plural of man is men. Are means they are...

Fools mean idiots.

Some mean a few.

Are means they are.

Bachelors mean unmarried men. Oh!

Son of a gun!

Hey, Firoz! Firoz!

Get up, man!

You are making fun of my marital status, young man.

What happened, Uma?

What kind of poster is this on your door?

Wait. Let me see.

Look...

Oh, this...

Manoj must have put this up.

But this is not for you.

-Manoj did! -Yeah.

Where is Manoj?

Manoj, you have put this poster as an insult to me!

Insult!

You are calling married people stupid!

No, Uma...

Who else is married here except me?

-You used my towel again. -You can use mine.

Hrithik's dad!

Your wife is calling you.

Bed sheet is soaking in water for more than a day.

Come and wash it.

-Come on, hurry up! -What's her problem?

-I'm coming. -She is quite strict.

God knows what pleasure you get sitting with the boys.

Wash my red pant separately. The color bleeds out of that.

So don't spoil other clothes.

-I have to leave. Hurry up! -Come on, man!

Come on, hurry up! Your wife is calling you.

You will understand when you get married.

That will work.

Married men!

MARRIED

In your face!

KEEP WAITING, YOU FLIRTATIOUS LOVER

WEAKNESS DOESN'T SUIT YOU FOR COMPLETE POWER OF MANHOOD

Sir, may I come in?

Yes.

Yes.

-What's your name? -Manoj Kumar Gupta.

Age?

Sir, 32 years.

Where are you from?

-Mahmudabad. -Oh!

So you are from Mahmudabad?

No, sir. I came from the square, but I live in Mahmudabad.

How many years have you been married?

Sir, I'm not married. I am single.

-Then what's your problem? -There's no problem.

If you don't have any problem, then why are you here?

I saw your ad, so...

Everyone comes here after seeing the ad.

Tell me about your problem. Are you suffering from nightfall?

Nightfall?

I mean, do you get wet in your sleep?

Or do you feel weak?

Or are you afraid of getting married?

-No, sir... -Until the disease is not known,

how will the treatment be done?

Sir, it's not like that.

-Then? -I'm here for the assistant's post.

This is my resume.

But the interview ended at 11:30 a. m.

Oh, sir. I'm so sorry.

-How educated are you? -I've done my graduation in BA.

-What do you do now? -Sir, I'm into business.

I saw your ad for the job. So...

Do you know how to read and write English?

No... Yes, sir.

There are two shifts that you can work in. 10:00 am to 2:00 pm.

The second is from 6:00 p. m. to 10:00 p. m. in the evening.

You will get a salary of 8000 rupees.

Sir, if I can get a bit more than that...

Submit the paper if you like it.

-Start your job tomorrow itself. -Okay, sir. Fine.

-Just remember one thing. -Yes, sir?

-I won't allow any truancy here. -Sure, sir.

-You can go now. -Thank you, sir.

-May I? Thank you, sir. -Yes. It's okay.

-Hello. May I come in, sir? -Yes.

Sir, I am Firozullah...

Mr. Shukla told me about you. He must have told you about me.

So I am here.

I have an article that I just wrote.

I wrote this satire on politics.

UDTI KHABAR

What is this?

Pardon?

There is a complete lack of substance in your writing.

Your writing in our publication...

is currently not possible.

I think you should feel a little bit of life.

Then you can write. Got it?

Please, sir. Just read it once. I have worked hard on this.

-Please go now. -Sir...

Sir, just once. Please, sir.

I have worked really hard. Sir, just once.

-Sir... -Ramprasad.

Where the hell are you guys?

Get lost!

Get lost! Get out of here!

What did you say?

Whole night!

Whole night! Have you gone mad?

You will die.

Tell me, where is Sachin's dad?

Oh, he is here. When will he go to Jaunpur again?

I'm asking because I'll come when he leaves.

Wait a minute!

Let me tell you something, Kishori.

You are out of your husband's... Hello!

Oh, man! These earphones!

I said you are out of your husband's limit.

Why is that?

Because you are mine. Only mine.

-Really? -Really.

-Swear on me. -I swear on you.

Kamal, can I say something?

Yes.

-You won't say no, right? -Never.

Get my 200-rupees recharge done.

Kamal! Hey, Kamal!

Kammo!

-Hello!-Son of a gun! Scoundrel Kamal!

Firoz, what happened, you son of a gun?

People of the world

Either listen to your heart

Or let me live in peace

How can I say that sorrow is happiness?

-Sir, he looks like a tramp. -Yeah.

Right! He sure does!

Can't you...

-wait a bit-- -Mister?

Wait a minute. Hold it for a second. I'll talk to you later.

What is your name, my friend?

I'm Manoj Kumar Gupta, but why are you asking?

Where do you live?

Why are you inquiring so much?

Don't take it otherwise, sir.

My name is Gaya Prasad Choubey.

I am from Police.

This is my colleague, Mr. Prajapati.

-Oh. -Mr. Manoj, now tell me,

which house do you live in?

Sir, I live in 13/8.

Oh, with your family?

No, not with my family. My family lives in Mahmudabad.

So you have fun here alone.

No, not alone. I live with a guy named Firoz.

-Tell me his full name. -Firozullah.

Firozullah!

Where can I find Mr. Firozullah right now?

He is at home.

So Mr. Firoz, you are Firozullah.

Yes.

He is a policeman.

Sorry, sir, but I didn't recognize you.

I am your neighborhood cop.

Inspector Gaya Prasad Choubey from LIU. Got it?

-Yes, sir. -No need to stand up. Manoj!

-Yes, sir? -Have a seat.

Thank you.

So tell me, young man,

-are you also from Mahmudabad? -Yes, sir.

What does your father do?

Sir, he's a businessman.

-Business? -Yeah.

-What kind of business? -Sir, kohl and balm.

-Is he the factory owner? -Sir, he is the factory owner.

No, sir.

It's a marketing job.

-Marketing? -Yeah.

-Where exactly? -Sir, at the bus stand.

Hey, shut up!

-Do you want a cup of tea? -Tea?

Do you drink only tea,

or do you have something else too?

Just a little now and then.

Very good!

Mr. Prajapati!

Let's plan a party together soon.

Sure, sir.

-Let me go now. -As you wish.

Mr. Firoz, thank you very much.

-Let me go now. -Okay, thank you so much.

-Mr. Choubey, do come again. -Sure.

Do you know the specialty of Uttam Pradesh?

Every third man here is crooked.

And this is the first among those.

His name is Kohinoor. He stays far away from women,

and he has a lot of faith in Baba Captain Shaw. " He is a very modern Lord.

Lord's lovers are requested to donate.

Our Lord is a lovely man!

Lord is fond of smoking cigarettes.

Look at these guys.

People come to make wishes and offer Captain cigarettes.

The one whose cigarette Lord smokes, his wishes are fulfilled,

and the one whose cigarette is not smoked, his game is over.

But suppose that a man or a woman

comes to Lord with an unfair demand.

In what sense?

Unfair demand means...

Suppose a girl is not in love with you,

and you want her and want to marry her.

This is unfair, isn't it?

People complain about each other on such small matters?

Listen to this.

I heard that once, a woman lost her husband.

Then she came to Lord's shrine with the wish for her neighbour to die.

-Really? -She banged her head here for two hours,

but Lord did not even touch her cigarette.

How does Lord know which wish

is fair and which is not?

-He's a Lord for a reason. -Right!

He knows everything.

-Hail Lord... -Captain Shaw!

That means Lord was a Britisher and a captain in the British army.

Hello! Manoj...

WELCOME TO CAPTAIN SHAW'S SHRINE

Request the followers,

please donate to the shrine.

Hello, friends! My name is Firozullah.

And today, I want to tell you about a place

which people believe is a very holy one.

This is the tomb of a Baba whose name was Shaw Barton.

He was a Britisher and captain of the British army.

He also fought a war with the Indians

and fell here while fighting during the war.

I apologise. He was martyred.

Now his cemented grave has been made.

Now we are so weak

that we have full faith

in his cemented grave that he will solve all our problems.

And Shaw Barton became Captain Shaw Baba.

So let me introduce you to some such lovers of the Lord today.

Can you hear me? So this Baba's...

Tomb. Look at the art...

Such lovely art! Divine!

Lord's tomb is love... lovely.

Really!

I am...

-I'm Kohinoor. -What does Lord mean to you?

Lord is everything to me.

Earlier my husband used to wet the clothes while crying.

Ever since he has taken Lord's offerings,

he does not cry at all.

Also, the bed has started remaining dry quite well.

Wow! Come here

and bring your little, big, fat, thin, whatever it is.

You will get a solution to every problem here.

Lord gives it there.

Don't miss the chance. Hurry up!

Shut up, you scoundrel!

Get lost!

Manoj is the arrow which does not hit the target

but moves on the signal.

There were visuals. There were gestures.

Cock and hen went on their way.

He was left behind.

The discovery of long research of despair.

Firoz.

Right, sir? Isn't it amazing?

Get rid of this dirt bag!

What story do you see in this?

There is a story. Look at this. This is a strong religious belief.

Be it Hindu or Muslim.

Everyone is out in search of a Godman with their problems.

Everyone is engaged in getting their work done by their respective Gods.

People have lost faith in karma.

This story will wake society up. I'm telling you, sir.

Look, young man,

if you want to do the work of awakening society,

then become a social reformer.

Or become a politician.

I run a media house here.

-Do you understand media? -Yes, of course.

It is a business venture.

So here, we show what sells.

It is not our responsibility to reform the society. Got it?

Why did you name it "Udti Khabar" if you wanted to do business?

You could have named it anything.

Why only news? You could have done something else.

You will find many things to buy and sell in the market.

Shut up! Get out of here

before I lose my cool.

Will you teach us how to do business?

Look, Mr. Editor,

I will run this story on one channel or the other.

And I challenge you

that I will bust you in front of everyone.

You are not worth even a penny and are threatening me.

I will make your face red by slapping.

I am the president of the State Journalist Association.

Let me also see

which newspaper or news channel runs your story.

I challenge you that I won't even

let you apply for a job of peon.

Let alone have your story on a channel.

Understood? Now get lost!

Okay, I'm leaving.

Can I say something?

You're a worthless man.

Hey, silly crow! It's not me. It's you who is an idiot.

Get lost!

Hello!

Welcome to Dr Jagdish's clinic, the father of occult medicine.

Tell me. How can we help you?

-I want to meet the doctor. -Okay.

Your name?

-Kamlesh. -Kamlesh.

-Mobile number? -It's 98...

Okay, 982...

Residential number?

Why do you need that?

Brother, it's important.

It's a formality. We have to do this. Tell me the number.

-What kind of formality is this? -You can ask the doctor about this.

Tell me your residential number.

It's 98...

421...

Okay...

421. Okay.

It's 10 digits. Fine. Give me the fees.

Go straight from here.

Alright, 1244...

Hello!

Amazing! You are such a prankster.

Even the doctor's angels will not be able

to know that someone like me has collided.

Who have you talked to?

Madhuri, Sushma, Mayuri.

Mrs. Neelam is yearning and dying to meet me.

Really?

Oh!

How did you pull off such a big move?

No one will come to a sexologist for a headache.

Only impotent men come there.

My job is to write down their name,

address and residential number.

Just do that, and I'm done.

Means?

I have such a long list of women longing for love.

Whenever you want...

-Madhuri, Kareena, Karishma... -All of them.

That's a great way.

-Let me call someone. -Manoj!

When you get caught,

-you will be in big trouble. -I don't work like that.

-How? -I'll show you.

Like this.

Hello! It's Kamal.

Shall I come?

He is starting the scooter now.

Let him go. Come after half an hour.

Listen, bring a satchel here.

Done!

Satchel?

Why was she asking for a satchel, Manoj?

Will she give you vegetables while returning?

My sweet uncle!

She means condoms.

Condoms?

Don't rinse! Tell him not to do it.

-I'm leaving. You keep laughing. -You scoundrel!

Stop doing all this, silly boy.

You scoundrel! You are the same guy from Dr Jain's Clinic.

Sorry, sir!

I needed to pee, so I accidentally entered here.

Stop...

I will make your back swell by beating you.

Hey, stop! Stop right there! Stop, you...

Scoundrel!

Oh, Baba, please save my honor.

Please get me out of this.

Hail Pahalwaan Baba!

Your knowledge and qualities are immeasurable.

There is no one else as strong as you.

You have fame among all three worlds.

Oh, Pahalwaan Baba...

-Manoj! -Help me.

Get me out of this.

Your phone is ringing.

What does she call you? Manoj?

Or Kamal? Is it done?

Baba...

you're the Almighty.

By the way,

how old was she?

Why are you bothering me?

Age is just a number.

As long as she is willing to.

What are you laughing at?

Did your bag get torn?

I am worried here,

and you are having fun! I will hit you with my slippers!

Least understanding men.

He's in trouble.

Hail Pahalwaan Baba!

-Please help me out. -His bag got torn!

Why didn't you pick up my call, moron?

You are trying to act smart with the smartest.

You came here for a job

so that you can have fun with other's wives.

No, sir!

-Why would I do that? -So why did you go to Mr. Sajan's house?

-I didn't go to Mr. Sajan's house. -You didn't go there!

-Now you're lying! -No!

You liar, dirt bag!

Thankfully, Mr. Saajan suppressed the matter for fear of society.

And I didn't go to the police because of my reputation.

-Sir... -But,

-you will definitely be punished for this. -Sir... There's no need...

I will not rest until I beat you. And remember...

Let alone in my office.

I won't let you work anywhere in the city.

-Sir, don't do this. Please. -Got it?

-Saligram! -Sir...

-Bring my stick! -I said sorry...

You dirt bag!

-Oh, my love! -Someone's here?

Hello!

I am here!

-How are you, Mr. Firozullah? -Hello, sir. I am good.

You look like you have won something.

-Hey, Manoj. -Yes, sir.

-What happened, young man? -Nothing. I had an accident.

The color of your cheek says you have been slapped.

No, I fell down the stairs.

-Fell down the stairs? -Yes, sir.

I came here prepared to celebrate Saturday night.

Then we will definitely celebrate Saturday night.

Call Uma.

-Neither will it be from the rich -Wow!

-Nor will it be from the poor -Wow!

Whenever love happens It will be because of your destiny

-It will be because of your destiny -Very good!

-It will be because of your destiny

-It will be... -Shut up, man! Shut up, please!

Have some.

Please have some.

What rubbish! "Be it rich or poor. It happens because of your destiny. "

-Nothing happens because of your destiny. -Come on!

"Be it rich or poor. "

"It happens because of your destiny. "

Nothing happens because of your destiny.

There is nothing like love in this world.

Love is a factory of fools.

Those who fight with society for love,

if you want to fight, then fight for the rights of society.

Fight against wrong traditions.

Fight against the liar God-men.

There's no need to fight society for love.

What rubbish is this!

My friend Ullah...

-Let's drink. -Sir, I'm talking. Please.

Sir, listen to me. I want to say something.

I don't drink.

Wow!

Actually, I hate drinking.

We are dying here from drinking alcohol.

People are dying...

due to floods in our country,

and some are dying due to drought.

You are right!

We all are wrong.

Come, let me take you

-Under such a sky -Sit properly.

Where there is no sorrow No tears, only love grows

-Greetings, Dad! -Greetings!

-All good? -It's all God's grace.

How are you, Dad?

I am all right.

Two guys will come to meet you.

From?

There is a marriage proposal for you.

No, Dad. I don't want to marry right now.

Just keep quiet! Do as I say.

Okay, Dad.

God bless you.

Oh, God!

Oh, God! What happened to him?

The eyes are bowed down And the words are stopped

The eyes are bowed down And the words are stopped

Look, I got robbed today

Oh, God! You are so pretty!

Oh, God! You are so pretty!

-It's such a great rainy season! -Wow! Look at his moves!

I fell without drinking

Hey, Manoj.

My dad called me two hours ago.

He said...

there is a proposal for Naazneen from Kanpur's Ghatampur.

Hello! Yes...

Okay, dad,

I'm leaving now. I have to go. Because of my job.

Don't refuse to have medicine.

Let me wipe it.

Okay, Mom,

before the attack, Dad was telling

that there's a marriage proposal for Naazneen from Ghatampur.

God knows it.

Had he told anyone, then we would have known.

Nobody can read his mind

to know about the proposal.

Else beat him!

He must have said something.

He said there were two siblings.

The brother's proposal is for Naazneen

-and the sister's proposal was for me. -What?

He said two people will come to see me from Ghatampur.

We should know who is coming.

The entire day he was on his phone when he got a paralysis attack.

He was talking about Hardoi and Jaunpur.

But he never said Ghatampur.

Ask him and see if he can speak.

Else beat him!

-Dad, who were they? -Gha...

You've got a running nose.

Else beat him!

PEACE IN THE COUNTRY SENSATIONAL NEWS IS A REVOLUTION

From here to there or there to here,

I emptied the entire house. I got a lot of trash from the house.

It's all for hunger and you are just writing.

Don't know whose bad omen is this.

I'm surviving by selling trash.

Son of a gun!

I am India, you are Indian

Do you hear it, Babu Deol

I'm a stringer You're a famous news anchor

I flap slippers You're under a bright light

Let's show India that India

let's show India that India

Which is said to you By your businessman boss

Every news of yours is a mishmash

Every news of yours is a mishmash

Do you hear it, Babu Deol?

Do you hear it, Babu Deol?

You supported the government

And all the questions were ignored

You supported the government

And all the questions were ignored

The fourth pillar of democracy

The fourth pillar of democracy Has been shaken by you

Do you hear it, Babu Deol?

Do you hear it, Babu Deol?

Where did the journalist with principles go?

I am a journalist with principles.

I am the past,

I am the present,

I am the future.

And I am dirty. Let's go.

Hello? What do you mean there's no job?

Mr. Firozullah.

What was your name again?

My name is Manoj Kumar Gupta.

Sorry, sir. We don't have a job for you.

We regret to inform you,

that currently, we don't have any openings.

'there's no job for me", what do you mean by that?

Due to time constraints,

we won't be able to use your story in the future.

Did you say that I'm not getting a job by hearing my name?

Best wishes for your bright future,

Prem Prakash Pyasa.

-Editor... -Where are you calling from?

From...

Yes!

Jain's son.

Thank you.

Shit!

Will you get a job by yelling?

The doctor is spreading dirt in the city.

It's not the doctor, it's you.

So you started pooping again.

Does it matter to you if someone poops or pisses on you?

I'll beat you if you say it again.

I'm already pissed off.

That Babu Deol is not giving me a job

-and you are talking here. -Quiet!

Lord,

forgive me.

Lord, I don't know what to do.

I'm a fool.

-Every morning I'll bathe and pray. -Fool.

Impious! At least visit a mosque.

Pray and worship. Keep a fast.

Why would you do that? You're very intelligent.

You are extremely knowledgeable.

Are you making fun of God?

Scoundrel.

Ever since you came, I've been cursed.

Next Thursday, offer a cigarette, then the Baba will be happy.

You will also apologise.

Baba Captain Shaw,

let me not suffer for his deeds.

Don't punish me for him. I'm your honest devotee.

-Amen! -You take the Baba too lightly, right?

Now do you know about his powers?

Apologise to him.

-And say, "All hail to Baba Captain. " -Yes.

Please donate.

Donate and get tenfold back.

Do contribute.

Make sure you contribute.

Sir, the food was delicious.

Thank you.

Guru, this arrangement was only till today.

Your sister-in-law

is going to Jalaun.

Her brother is getting married.

-Okay. -Yes.

She'll take almost ten days to return.

Uma.

My right eye twitching since morning,

you delivered the good news.

It's not like that.

Don't worry.

Go and offer a long cigarette on the shrine of Baba Captain Shaw.

It got over in a minute.

Yes.

Okay.

I'm leaving.

You be sad,

I'm going to sleep.

Good night, buddies.

-Good night, sweetie. -Good night, Uma.

All hail to Baba Captain Shaw.

The Baba has come to change our fates.

Wake up!

SOME ARE MARRIED

-Are you Mr. Firoz? -Who is it?

-Who are you? -I'm Mehmood Alam.

-He is Janisar Ahmad. -Hello.

We're from Ghatampur.

Okay.

Sir, can I get some water?

-I spoiled my shoes. -Hold on.

It also stinks.

-Is it hot? -Pour it!

Save my pant, please.

It's done.

-Greetings. -Greetings.

-No, it was not shit, it was mud. -Come, sit.

Thank you.

Some more here.

You have too many gutters here.

It was mistake, I didn't mean it.

You're very very kind. Thanks a lot.

-Welcome. -Welcome!

Yes.

Why are you standing? Come.

Sit down.

The house has a lot of things.

It's the house owners.

How long have you been staying here?

Almost ten months.

-Dad was talking about Laila. -Laila?

Yes.

Janisar's younger sister.

-For my younger sister-in-law's proposal. -Okay.

I'm his brother-in-law.

-Okay. -You know it, right?

What are you saying? He's your brother-in-law.

Your sister is also doing BA, right?

Yes. Naazneen.

Your father told me about Naazneen.

Okay.

-He is Janisar Ahmad. -Greetings.

He is a very honest youth.

He's an MA in sociology from Kanpur.

We're working for Pawan Sood Courier Company.

-Give it, I'll dry it. -That's okay, brother.

-Please give. -Why would you do it?

Tell me where to dry it.

-You can keep it outside. -Yes.

Is it from this way?

Okay! Excuse me, brother-in-law.

So...

How many hours does it take to reach Ghatampur from here?

-We boarded at nine and arrived at six. -Okay.

What about your belongings?

We kept them in the cloakroom.

Who will carry them?

Will you have an omelet for breakfast?

Manoj, you don't have to be formal.

We are your relatives,

you can give us anything.

-What do you say, Janisar? -Wow!

-Sit down. -Okay.

Manoj, can you turn up the fan speed?

I'm coming in a while.

Okay.

What's the matter?

What are you lying?

Will omelet do?

Is your mind working? From where will you get omelets?

They are guests.

From where will you get the eggs? And what about oil?

Just watch me.

-I'll be back in two minutes. -Okay.

-Will you have water? -Yes.

Thank you.

-Manoj seems to be very nice. -Yes.

-Is Manoj from Mahmudabad? -Yes, he stays nearby.

Good.

Is he working?

Excuse me!

-Job? Is he working? -Yes, he's working.

-How is your work going on? -Good.

Journalists are very distinctive.

Is the "bamba" coming?

What?

Tap! It was hot last night.

-I'm getting sweaty. -Oh!

-There's a tank. You can take a bath. -Okay.

Thank you.

-Me too. -Sit down.

I took them from Firdausi's shop.

Thank you.

Mr. Chaudhary was saying...

-Yes. -If you make a set of 12

of 2000 rupees bills having the same series

and keep it near your dish antenna,

then the chip on the 2000 rupees note

gets activated when you press the remote,

it can make rain via satellite.

Who is Mr. Chaudhary?

Mr. Chaudhary from Chi News.

He is an amazing reporter.

But from where can we get a 2000 rupees bill of the same series?

If I get it then

-I'll make rainfall happen today. -Brother-in-law!

I gave three bills of the same series to my mother.

-Is it? -I need 21 more.

Then I can make rainfall happen at any time in Ghatampur.

-Wow! -Yes.

So what?

-Did you guys wash your hands? -Yes, it's done.

The breakfast is almost ready.

Very good.

Very good.

Wow! It's awesome.

-Mehmood! -Mehmood.

-Brother-in-law, have tea. -Yes.

-The tea is here. -Wow!

Thank you.

Thanks a lot.

Hello. Greetings, Mom.

Greetings. Are you doing well?

Yes, I'm fine. Mom...

People have come from Ghatampur.

Is it? How many are they?

Else beat him!

They are two in number.

Janisar and his brother-in-law, Mehmood Alam.

-Will you speak with them?-What will I talk about?

I don't know who they are and where they're from.

How is Dad?

-If he's fine then let him speak. -His condition is the same as before.

Still, you can try.

-Let him speak. -Okay, I'll call him.

I was talking to my Mom.

The thing is fifteen days ago, my father got paralyzed.

God bless him.

But I spoke to him 15 days ago.

He gave me your address.

And we decided to meet you.

-He was very happy. -Yes.

He talked with you,

-he then called me and got the attack. -What?

-What? -I mean he got paralyzed.

Oh!

Okay!

My Mom was telling me to let you talk to my Dad.

Sure.

Hello, pass the phone to Dad.

Here.

Here...

Talk to Mr. Mehmood.

Greetings, brother.

Firoz said about your health. How are you now?

Do you remember I am Mehmood Alam?

Do you remember Mehmood Alam's son from Ghatampur?

The one from the electricity house.

From the bird market.

Sorry, there seems to be a signal error.

-The voice is not clear. -The signal is fine.

He has lost his voice and talks like this.

Dad, pass the phone to Mom.

Mom, talk to them.

What will I talk about with Mehmood and all?

You know and your father must deal with it.

Else beat him!

My mother is a bit...

-I mistake it to be a box of sweets. -Okay.

It's for grooming and nothing else.

That's okay. Everything's there.

Okay.

Brothers and sisters,

we needed a top-quality salon

for a long time.

Due to the hard work of our party members,

this problem is resolved now.

Laadle Haircutting Salon.

We hope that it will serve you well.

Just like our Honourable and successful District President does.

They bring it as a make shift.

Very few people know that Mr. Laadle first worked as

a snacks seller in the bus stand.

Come on.

Sir?

We'll be back.

-We have to go and greet people. -Okay.

-Welcome. -Alright.

INAUGRATION LAADLE MENS PARLOR

Friends,

just like hair growth

and continuous growing of hair is a natural phenomenon.

Similarly, hair cut and hair grooming is equally important.

They're basic needs.

-If there's no salon in the area, -On him...

then the need becomes a massive problem.

To get rid of this problem,

I am invited

to inaugurate a salon for us

whose hero is Mr. Laadle.

He is the darling of his wife.

Clap!

After this ceremony,

I am going to another felicitation ceremony.

Where I will have to felicitate Mr. Pyare.

Friends, Mr. Pyare...

Take a bath, there's water in the bathroom.

No, I'm fine.

I was feeling lazy.

After freshening up, I'm feeling better now.

You were saying that you were getting sticky.

Then bathing will make you feel better.

Thank you.

You thought so much of me.

I can stay fresh without bathing for three to four days.

How?

The thing is

my mother used to bath me with roses

or sandalwood or sometimes with poppy water.

The effect of it has been absorbed in my skin.

-Amazing! -Wow!

-Come, sit. -Thank you.

I came to know that reporters

look different and act differently.

Excuse me?

I didn't get it.

You're very innocent.

Reporters get even more as compared to their salaries.

-Isn't it, Mr. Manoj? -Don't ask that.

How much do you make in a month?

Your father didn't say.

I thought of asking you directly.

Straight from the horse's mouth.

He gets 19,700 rupees.

Once his job is confirmed, it will be hiked.

That's it.

Wow!

It's awesome.

Janisar!

Ask him something.

He's your would-be brother-in-law.

Ask.

Okay, Brother-in-law.

Are you reading or editing?

Yes.

My question is regarding social health.

Answer it carefully.

What's the use of mono sodium glutamate

in food in Indian society?

I'm giving you the options.

A, it's used in dal.

B, it's added in pita.

C, it's used in noodles.

Don't make it funny.

Ask what you want to ask.

Later, you'll say that you couldn't ask anything about the groom.

Take it seriously.

Okay!

I'll ask him.

Firoz, do you like veg or non-veg?

In veg, I like...

royal cheese,

pea and cheese, potatoes,

and...

in non-veg I like

chicken biryani,

kebabs, breads,

and sausages. I like them.

If there will be some lemon and black salt.

Then it's better.

Wow!

You have a royal taste.

We...

-Janisar. -Yes.

-Why don't we try these at dinner? -Yes.

Yes.

-What do you say, Manoj? -Yes, sure.

I'm thirsty for tea.

Let's go out.

It'll be a walk

and we can drink tea as well.

-Come, I'll make you drink awesome tea. -Yes.

Come on

RAMU TENTS

"Lallan Tea Stall".

"Our tea, you news. " Gossip always follows me.

Lallan,

bring four tea.

LALLAN TEA STALL

It must be strong.

We've got guests.

Janisar.

-Yes. -Omelet?

Snacks will be fine.

-Omelet. -Add some

black pepper.

Add black pepper too.

Let's sit on the bench.

Where will you settle after marrying?

Here or in Delhi, Mumbai, or Mahmudabad?

Well...

I won't go back to Mahmudabad.

Has my Father seen him?

Okay.

They are very fond of each other.

Seems like they are childhood friends.

I'm sorry but I...

don't recognise you.

It takes time for relationships to open.

No, I don't mean that.

Had there been common relations between us,

then it would have been clear.

Then let me prove to you the relationship.

Do you know Uncle Umar from Gangaganj?

No.

Do you know Usman from Ghaziabad

who is my uncle's son?

They have a tobacco factory.

-Do you know? -No.

You must know Rashid from Jaunpur, right?

Qadir?

Qadir?

Does Qadir work in the zoo?

I don't know where he works.

He is fair with a round face

and he is short in height.

His face is like a cat.

He is my Father's nephew.

Qadir is tall.

I think he is not married till now.

Oh!

-Janisar! -He's calling you.

-Janisar. -Yes.

Bring your mobile.

Okay. Just a minute.

Here, take it.

The battery is low, use it wisely.

-It will switch off quickly. -Okay.

The thing is...

I have...

a couple of smartphones.

But I never carry them while traveling.

They are expensive mobiles.

What if somebody steals it?

I'll be at a loss.

You can understand.

Yes, it will be a loss.

What?

What's this?

You're a fool.

I told you to use it wisely.

I'm your Brother-in-law. Stay within your limits.

Here.

There can be somebody else.

Let's go home.

-Janisar! -Yes, Brother-in-law.

I'm feeling hungry.

Sure!

But it's just 5:00 p. m.

But hunger does not know

what time it is. It just happens.

You're right.

We've heard a lot about your snacks.

Why don't we have it today?

Firoz, let's go to the uncle.

RAHEEM's

Have some more.

Have it.

Have it if he is saying.

-Eat. -That will be an insult to food. Have it.

-Eat, Brother-in-law. -Eat.

What...

time is your train?

What train?

To go back to Ghatampur.

Firoz,

are you bored with us?

No! It's not like that.

We'll be happy if you stay. The station is near...

-if you have to go back... -You guys haven't seen Lucknow.

Neither museum nor the zoo.

We'll go to the zoo tomorrow.

You haven't seen Laila's picture yet.

Janisar, show him the picture.

-Let me show it. -No.

-See. -Give it back.

How do you find her?

-She's beautiful. -Thank you.

Greetings.

It's dawn, what type of noise

Has arisen in your street?

It's dawn, what type of noise

Has arisen in your street?

I twist your left shoulder

What type of butter thief

Came to your street?

It's dawn, what type of noise

It's dawn, what type of noise

What's the matter?

Don't you guys go to the office?

No, we go every day.

Since you guys have come

we thought you'd feel bad.

We are also professional people.

We can understand your compulsion.

Firoz, go to the office.

I'll rest as I have off for three days.

-Go. -What are you saying?

I know you have a huge assignment today.

Don't act foolish.

I can file the story from home.

The thing is the entire city knows how bossy Babu Deol is.

He will fire you.

It's a new job. Work hard.

-Isn't it? -Yes.

Firoz, you can go.

Don't worry about us. Manoj is there.

He being here,

we won't have to worry about lunch.

You can go. Please.

What's this stupid thing!

-Manoj. -Yes.

What's there for lunch?

Right now...

-Let me do something. -Thank you.

Firoz,

where are you wandering in this blazing sun?

Don't walk outside else your face will become tan.

Shut up. Don't disturb me.

Already I am worried.

One more bread please.

Wow!

-Will you have it? -No, you can have it.

We eat daily, you have it.

I have guests at home for two days.

There's no arrangement of food for myself,

and they have come as an extra burden.

Is your wedding fixed?

Firoz, don't worry.

These things happen during wedding times.

What can I say?

Where will I go on this hot day?

Why did you come out then?

Mehmood, the one with the duck face has come.

He asked me

if I don't go to the office.

Had it been not about Naazneen, I would have said, "Yes, I don't go.

What will you do?"

-Is this jack fruit pickle? -Have it.

There is one more

whose name is Janisar Ahmad.

His face is like a raw fruit.

I don't know why my Dad gets people like them.

Listen. Don't worry.

Come with me. I will arrange for you.

-Where? -Come.

I'll take you to Mughal Gardens.

Come, sit.

I got a new seat for you.

Come, I'll take you to Mughal Gardens.

You were telling about the zoo. Shall we go?

Zoo at this time?

-Come, I'll take you to the park. -Okay.

Let's go. Let's go.

Hold it. Come here. Gently.

Listen. Lie down.

See how much shade is there.

Don't you have a place to lie down in your house?

There is no electricity the entire day. What to do?

Where will I sleep?

There is no fan.

Lie down.

-Come. -I'm fine.

Come.

Lie down.

-Lie down. -Oh God!

-Do one thing. -Lie down.

Be comfortable.

Hums.

Please hold me, I'll open the helmet.

Come on.

Uma, open the helmet.

-What do you have to do with my helmet? -Wait!

Show me your hand.

I have your name here.

Come fast.

A heart with my name!

-I can't live without you. -Bobby Akhtar!

I'm Kohinoor.

Come here.

-Where are you coming from? -Noor, what are you doing here?

-Who are they? -First, click a photo.

I'll say who are they.

Smile!

Sister, see here.

I'm leaving.

-Sangeeta! -Is she crippled?

You come and destroy everything.

Okay! You're having fun alone.

-What did you say? -That same.

-That same? -Yes.

Kohinoor, what do you want?

Should I spend my entire life with an old woman?

Don't I have a personal life?

Yes, you have.

You have.

You have a personal life.

-You spoiled my mood. -Firoz, where is his wife?

Maybe she has gone to Jalaun.

Let your wife come back from Jalaun.

Then I'll show her

-My wife? -your personal life.

Hey!

Kohinoor, what kind of man are you?

-What are you saying? -Throw a party tonight.

I'll delete the photo.

Okay, it's done.

You're very kind-hearted.

I always tell Firoz

that if he stays with Kohinoor then he'll have fun.

Your dinner is arranged for tonight.

This is the reason why

if you stay with Kohinoor, then you'll have fun.

-I'm not a fool. -Lie down.

I was comfortable there.

Hey, man!

Hey, man!

Get up.

What's this?

You could have come home if you wanted to sleep.

Firoz, you went to the office. How come you're sleeping here?

Now what?

What did I do after getting up?

-The entire day is spoiled. -What happened, sir?

The editor got the news about a government broker.

I arrived on time and met Kohinoor.

And I met Uma along with his wife.

Then we started talking and I fell asleep.

Hold on!

His wife has gone to Jalaun.

Whom did Firoz see?

-Manoj and Kohinoor say him. -I'm asking you.

Why are you gibbering?

Say who was there with me in the park.

I am the one to bring Manoj.

Some plots are available here.

And Uma wanted to buy a plot.

So I bring him to see it.

A eunuch happened to come there

in a guy's dress.

I told him. Then Firoz came and help us.

Manoj.

Manoj...

Who is he?

He is Janisar Ahmad and he is Mehmood Alam.

Mehmood Alam and Janisar Ahmad, he is Kohinoor.

The area is just like its name. He has a wood stack.

He has brought a proposal for Firoz from Ghatampur.

-Hey... -I like your name.

Thank you, sir.

Neither Chopra nor Kapoor, I am 100 per cent Kohinoor.

-Manoj. -Yes.

They are...

-For the arrival of Manoj and Janisar... -Yes.

I'm throwing a party today at your house.

All hail to the Lord.

Thank you!

Come, Manoj.

You are my Jaanu, I am your Shanu

Come and let's have romance

Come and let's have romance

You are my Jaanu, I am your Shanu

Come and let's have romance Come and let's have romance

Amazing!

You are my Jaanu, I am your Shanu

Come and let's have romance Come and let's have romance

SHIV SAMRAT BRASS BAND

Who brings a marriage proposal like this?

They robbed me.

I have to get food from a community kitchen.

Had Dad been okay, I would have thrown them out.

You must have a common relationship with them.

Hold this.

What?

Any common relation which is known by your Dad, Father, or you?

What will Dad know? Whenever I call him, he starts gibbering.

I mean

he's so illiterate

that he is not saying a single name whom I know.

What do you know then? Have you ever visited a relative?

That's too much.

I will deal with them.

-I will let them leave today. -That's the spirit.

Come!

Mehmood.

Wow!

Beautiful.

The lentil is very nice.

You said that you'll deal with them.

But you're serving them.

It's a very nice lentil.

The taste of every food can be detected.

Garlic, ginger, asafoetida,

cumin, I mean...

It's wonderful.

Wow!

Lentils are very tasty.

Brother-in-law,

if anyone sells this kind of lentils in Ghatampur,

then I'll be his slave.

Whether you eat it with bread,

or with rice, the taste remains the same.

Wow!

-Mehmood! -It's very tasty.

Have it.

More?

-Janisar! -Yes.

The Sikhs make this type of lentils in the community kitchen.

-Is it? -Yes.

I don't know.

Enough.

I wonder

-Looking at your hair -Wow!

Ramakant, what are you here for?

I came for having a head massage.

Is your wife back from Jalaun?

Yes, this morning.

Okay.

If your wife knows about the park incident,

then it will be fun, right?

Kohinoor, you are quite sly.

Hey!

MENS PARLOR

Come on.

-Jai Hind, sir. -Jai Hind.

Jai Hind.

Listen carefully

-to what I am saying. -Sir.

-Prajapati. -Sir.

-Please give the file. -Here.

So...

What's this?

Baba Captain Shaw.

Sir!

Gentleman, the motive for meeting you was...

that our city and our locality

is standing on the top of a volcano.

Two terrorists have entered our city.

We don't have information about them.

Neither any photo

nor any whereabouts.

We have nothing.

According to intelligence reports,

it has only been revealed that

the terrorists are very clever and dangerous.

-Laadle, come here. -Come.

You can find out many people with your nose, mouth, and ears.

All because of you.

Dear, go and find out if the two terrorists

are among us.

Okay, sir.

And...

-Kohinoor. -Yes.

-Umakant. -Yes.

I am confident

that you guys will awaken the cunningness inside you.

I mean to say

you guys sniff like a dog

-and find out the enemies. -Yes.

-If you doubt... -Yes.

-Then you will call me. -Okay.

Over and out.

-Jai Hind, sir! -Jai Hind.

By lifting the loincloth By spreading the towel

By wearing a cap, I was made a boss

Boss!

By lifting the loincloth By spreading the towel

By wearing a cap, I was made a boss

Boss!

What happened?

Mehmood!

What was I saying that today the heat is too much

they'll dry soon.

What will dry quickly?

Pant and shirt. And what else?

Leave it. We can wash it at home.

Due to these small mistakes,

microorganisms develop in the body.

The dirty clothes touch your skin.

And...

The skin

then infects your body.

The skin is very delicate.

It affects the skin very badly that I can't say.

By scratching your skin, you will develop rashes.

The skin becomes dirty and ugly.

If...

If you don't treat it in time

with different types of lotions,

then do you know what happens?

It can transform into ringworm and fungus and can lead to discomfort.

-Janisar. -Yes.

My dear,

how do you know all this?

From the TV advertisement.

Listen.

Stop talking and let me work.

Janisar, let me sleep for some time.

Foreigner, don't leave

Don't leave

Leaving me behind

Leaving me behind

My foreigner friend, promise

My phone.

Brother-in-law.

Brother-in-law.

Brother-in-law.

Brother-in-law.

Brother-in-law.

Brother-in-law, I made a mistake.

Oh, dear!

What happened now?

My phone was in my pants pocket.

I soaked the pant and the phone is wet.

Will it be okay?

See it.

Oh!

Here!

Janisar, you're amazing.

What happened?

-Shut up, they will wake up. -Dad

Dad gave it to me.

Janisar.

There is a request. Let me sleep.

Don't disturb me.

My phone.

-Manoj! -Yes.

I made a mistake.

What happened?

I wet the phone. Can I repair it?

This has soaked completely.

Even I think so.

Will it work?

Yes, it will.

-Did you buy second-hand? -No.

This

was given to me

by my dad on 17 June 2008 at 5:35 p. m.

from Bansal Mobile Store in the market.

I have a lot of memories of it.

I passed my intermediate examination in the second division.

I got 58.5 per cent marks.

Dad told me to go for scrutiny and I will get first division.

But my tuition teacher told me

to be satisfied with what I got.

What if the marks get reduced?

What happened then?

Then what? I remembered it.

I remembered the couplet by Kabir Das.

Spiritual Teacher or Guru is even greater than God.

If the teacher and God are both in front of me,

who will I greet first?

After that, I forgot about it.

Janisar, didn't you wash your clothes?

Yes, it's done.

Manoj!

Can I get some clothes brightener?

White clothes become brighter with it.

It's in the bathroom

top shelf beside the soap.

What about my phone?

It will be fine, I told you.

We will fix it tomorrow. Good night.

Oh no!

I left the mobile battery.

My battery has no hope...

This is so unfair.

My...

Hey!

Where is Mehmood?

-Son of a fool, you feed me stale lentils. -Turn on the lights.

-What happened? -It's stinking very badly.

It's stinking very badly.

He was eating too much.

If we'd known, we won't have fed him.

Oh no!

Oh God!

What to do?

Let's see.

Don't beat me!

-I am dying like this. -We are Manoj and Firoz.

Yes.

I am not well.

-I'm very sick. -Come.

Come. Sit down.

Sit.

Why did I eat the lentils?

Scoundrel...

The lentils killed me.

Electral powder!

-Do you have Electral powder? -We don't have.

You can say if you have any other last wishes.

Wait!

Mehmood, how are you feeling?

I don't feel good.

Sleep now. I'll take you to the hospital tomorrow.

Okay?

-Sleep now. -He's asleep.

Turn off the light.

I'm bloated.

I feel gassy.

The smell was so bad as if it was civil lines.

-Shall I come too? -Yes.

Let's go.

Firoz, we need to take him to the hospital.

He is getting bad. He might die.

Janisar, call your home.

Mehmood is very sick.

The phone is damaged.

Why should I lie to you?

Idiots!

Do you have money?

I don't have money.

Then how?!

Janisar, do you have money?

-Yes. -How much.

I've got 70 rupees.

What will happen with that?

We need to take him to the hospital. Has he got money?

With the Brother-in-law?

No!

Brother-in-law is cashless.

He uses the card.

-Card? Show it. Yes. -His?

Hold on.

Gently.

-Does this card work? -Yes.

-Can it withdraw money? -Yes.

Do you know the PIN?

It's 1957.

Okay.

But he is completely wet.

How can we take him like that?

-How do we take it? -You too come. Hurry up.

Do I have to come?

I am feeling very sleepy.

-You're amazing, Janisar. -What happened?

Get ready. Hurry up.

Mehmood is very sick.

Listen to me. My clothes are wet.

You guys go, I can't come.

These are Firoz's uncle's clothes.

Get ready.

Name of the patient?

Mehmood Alam.

Mehmood Alam. Age?

-Age... -Mehmood, your age?

-Forty-seven years. -Forty-seven years.

Mehmood, what's your problem?

Doctor, I am having diarrhea.

I'm suffering from loose motions.

-Mehmood! -My loving Mehmood.

-Mehmood. -Brother-in-law!

Don't worry.

Due to weakness, one loses control over oneself.

Alright.

The condition is critical.

I am writing an injection, you get it.

Don't worry.

This is a government hospital.

You'll get free medicines from the dispensary.

Okay. I'll get it.

Doctor, please help me.

-I'm feeling very weak. -Don't worry.

Nothing will happen. Don't worry.

Hold it.

Here, come back and show the report.

-Okay, sir. -Okay.

Third end from the stairs, right? Sorry!

Right or left, sir?

-Left. -Thank you, sir.

Did anybody joke?

I am feeling weak

and you guys are laughing.

Try to relax.

Laugh and smile. You'll be fine soon.

Hello.

At this hour?

I'm tired.

I couldn't sleep last night.

I want to sleep.

You seem to be in a mood today.

Really?

Where are you?

Is it?

Okay, I'm coming.

-Friend. -Yes.

Ever since Mr. Choubey gave us this duty,

the manhood inside me

has awaken.

Don't tell me all these things. I know you very well.

-I am unable to bear anything. -How?

Mr. Choubey called me.

He has gone to Rae Bareilly.

He told that ever since the meeting has happened,

Laadle has become very smart.

That's why I am repeating myself.

There are two terrorists of whom we know nothing.

We don't know their color or height.

We just have to keep our noses,

eyes, and ears open

and give information about the suspect. Rest he will take care.

-Umakant, don't teach me about this. -Get it.

-Mr. Choubey called me first. -Bullshit.

Since my phone is turned off, then whom can he call?

It's too hot.

-Give the long one to Manoj! -Are you done?

How is everything?

Your blessings are there.

Move ahead.

You were here?

Okay, see you.

I have made a plan to chase them out.

What plan?

Mr. Choubey

has asked people

to keep an eye on this locality.

Two terrorists have intruded on the city.

They look ordinary.

There's no other way than this to get rid of Janisar and Mehmood.

Does it mean you will prove them to be terrorists?

Lord, why are you punishing me?

If my Dad will know, then he will beat me.

Then continue serving them.

Before Mehmood Alam becomes fine,

they won't leave from here.

Let me talk to them once.

If they don't leave, then do whatever you want.

Do you think I am happy doing all this?

Who knows?

I won't let Naazneen marry these fools.

Keep this in my mind.

-Brother-in-law. -Yes.

Brother-in-law, wake up.

Wake up.

Here's your favourite hot tea from Lallan.

It's a special tea with milk for you.

No, I won't drink tea.

Please drink.

I request you. Please drink.

You're amazing.

I am suffering from diarrhea and you are forcing me.

Take the tea away.

-Please have it. -Why are you troubling him?

What if his condition worsens?

Firoz,

you were about to talk to them, do it.

Mehmood,

how are you feeling?

Thanks to the Lord. I think the drugs are working.

What are your plans for going back?

To be honest,

I am unable to take care of you.

What's there to take care of?

I don't find any difference between you and Janisar.

We are simple people.

We're happy with bread and sauce.

But you are not well

and I think you need to rest.

I don't rest.

I spend my life in difficulties.

Ever since Janisar's sister came, I am used to being in trouble.

Don't worry.

Once I get fine, I'll go back.

But you...

-Yes? -Janisar, find out where is ironing done.

Do it now.

-Isn't it, Manoj? -Yes.

You haven't even seen "Budiya ka Nala".

What an amazing name "Budiya ka Nala"?

Is there a place like that?

Wow!

Don't worry about caring.

Firoz.

I can guarantee that they won't leave after four days.

They are very shameless.

And you were explaining to me?

What you were doing, is it right?

The police will find out the truth.

With ease.

They will find it out quickly

whether they're from Peshawar or Ghatampur.

They won't stay here for a day more.

You're very cruel.

You will land me in trouble.

Moron.

Shalini.

Manoj, come tomorrow.

What's the matter?

I am in a huge dilemma.

What happened?

On one hand, there is country and on the other, there is friendship.

I don't know whom to choose.

When God takes tests, he just does it.

But what happened?

My friendship asking for my life, I can give it without thinking.

But country,

there's nothing bigger than a country in this world.

A country means...

India is beloved to me

More than my life

My garden is greater than everyone

Nothing is greater than a country.

Will you say it?

Wish if I can show it to you

how much I love Firoz.

But nothing is in front of the country. Neither you, nor me nor Sushma or Neelam.

Will you even say it?

The relatives of Firoz, Mehmood Alam and Janisar Akhtar,

these two are terrorists.

What are you saying?

-Is it? -Yes.

How do you know?

Despite asking me many times,

they are unable to tell where they are from.

They don't know the names of their relatives.

The behaviour of Janisar

makes me suspect him.

Mehmood Alam has a map.

-Yes? -Yes.

-Have you told someone? -No.

Don't say. It's a very sensitive matter.

But I...

I am feeling uncomfortable.

Control your emotions and eagerness.

When Janisar goes out, then tell me.

Go and see me at the bus stand at 2 o'clock tomorrow.

He will give a packet to a bike rider.

-How do you know? -What do you mean?

I have heard their setting.

Okay!

What will you do?

I'll go to the police.

Manoj, have you gone crazy?

Rushing is not good.

First, try to gather all the information.

-Then you can go to the police. -Listen, you

told me this.

But don't tell others.

I won't tell.

If it is wrong,

then it won't be good.

You're right.

You're very nice.

Do as you were told.

Did you get it?

-Have you got money? -I have no money.

-I have no money. -You guys are poor.

Here.

Enjoy yourself.

What will happen with this?

Give 500.

Enjoy slowly.

Don't fall on those terrorists.

Try to understand.

-I will be the one to deal with them. -Okay.

You're a young guy.

Have fun.

Why do you have to deal with them?

-I will take care of these terrorists. -That's the spirit.

Here's the spirit.

I am Kimi Bedi.

People have psychological stress.

Due to this, the body becomes weak before time.

There will be no glow in the face.

To keep your face fresh and young,

you need to go for a massage.

Brother-in-law!

Yes.

Can I ask you something?

Yes.

Did you ever fall in love when you were young?

Yes.

How does it feel?

It's very beautiful.

It's kind of intoxicating.

The body becomes stiff.

-Did you call me? -Yes.

I am washing clothes.

-Okay? -Okay.

I have a friend named Suresh.

I need to give him a packet at the bus stand at 2 o'clock.

Will you give it?

-Yes. -Okay.

Here.

But how will I recognise him?

No need to recognise him.

He will recognise you.

Okay. I'm going now.

-Wear clothes. -I have wear.

All the goons are here.

I need to be careful.

Bittu, come everything is set.

The bike is on target.

Hello...

What kind of person is he?

Manoj, you're right.

Oh no!

Hello, sir.

Janisar Ahmad and Mehmood Alam.

They are the ones.

I'm absolutely sure.

Sir, come to Firoz and Manoj's room immediately.

Namaste, sir.

So, Mr. Manoj and Mr. Ullah,

are they your guests?

Yes, these two.

Will you both go to the balcony or the terrace?

-Sure. -We just want to chat

-with these two. -Okay.

Go now.

Hello, sir!

What is your full name?

Janisar Akhtar.

Your father's name?

-Mehmood Akhtar. -Oh.

-So you are educated? -Yes.

I have done M. A. in Sociology from Kanpur University.

Where do you work?

I am the delivery manager at Pawansut Courier Company.

Oh!

Where did you get trained?

Training?

-Yes! Training! -In Hyderabad.

Hyderabad!

Over here or there?

There!

Oh!

So you guys are terrorists?

Why should I tell you?

Don't force me to get strict, Janisar!

You're engrossed in power.

We are engrossed in devotion.

This is devotional time.

Watch with closed eyes, Devotee.

The country is changing.

What is it?

What a wonderful shade!

Watch the sun go down.

-Sun is setting! -You are well trained.

I must say

you are a hard nut to crack.

I don't look back.

Hey, Mr. Mehmood Akhtar!

Hey, Mr. Mehmood!

-Mr. Prajapati, check on him. -Okay, sir.

Hey, Mehmood!

Get up!

Wake up, man! Get up!

Come on! Hey!

Hey, Mehmood!

Mehmood!

He's not even getting up, sir.

Looks like he's gone into deep sleep.

Check his clothes.

Look at this, sir. This is the map of the whole city.

Found this paper in his pocket.

"Imamdasta".

IMAMDASTA

Old lady's gutter.

Ruins of the Feminine Park.

These people have

targeted so many places.

What is "Imamdasta"?

Is it a bomb?

Not yet.

In the morning.

Got it, my boy. Got it.

-Prajapati! -Yes, sir?

-The style of talking is naive... -Yes, sir.

But the boy is very cunning.

I feel the same way.

He talks in riddles.

If my training wasn't strong,

-he'd make a fool of me too. -Exactly, sir.

-Listen. -Yes, sir.

-Keep watch in civil dress quickly. -Okay, sir.

Don't let them out of sight.

-Okay? -Okay, sir.

Let's go!

It's all a lie!

Get up!

Get up!

-Get up! -Oh, boy! What's wrong?

Brave sons of India,

look ahead!

Look over there!

There!

Flat-faced Chinese are there!

Get up and prove your mettle

before the hunger of these Chinese consumes everything.

This night of October 27, 1962, will never come again.

History will not repeat itself,

so rise and take up arms.

Leave the bed!

Aim and shoot!

Burn these Chinese.

Your soil is calling you. Motherland is calling.

Get up! Rise!

-Get up! -What happened?

-What happened to him? -Is he in a dream or what?

Get up!

-Jani... -Hey!

You hit me, Maniac!

He has lost his mind.

-Hey, wait! -I'll take care of them.

Oh, boy!

Oh my!

Oh my!

Mehmood,

why did you bring this lunatic's marriage proposal for my sister?

I am not that useless

that I would get my sister married to a lunatic.

My friend,

it is the fate of every man to go mad after marriage.

-My friend Janisar was a little hasty. -Wow!

See! Wonderfully said!

Thank you, sir.

This means you have completely lost your mind.

No, I'm not mad. I'm crazy.

Either the crazy one laughs or the one you give respect to.

-Got it, Mr. Manoj? -Yeah, I got it.

Look, Janisar is not mad.

Actually, it has been seven days since he came here,

and his medicine ran out before coming here.

And you can see how much it is getting hot.

In such heat, even good ones go mad.

I am feeling sleepy.

Shall we sleep?

-Let me switch off the light. -Let's sleep.

Hey!

Where is Janisar?

Janisar?

-Is he in the bathroom? -Go look for him.

No, he is not in the bathroom.

Hey, Mehmood!

Where is Janisar?

Where did you send him?

He may have gone to the terrace.

Where did he go at this hour?

He is not even there.

Then where?

Let's check at Uma's place.

I'll go check downstairs.

RAMU TENT

Wife cheated on loyal husband.

What times we are living in!

Oh, boy!

-Did you get him? -Nope.

Saajan Singh is standing like death in front of the house.

He beats like hell.

Who is Saajan Singh?

Husband of the woman with the bag.

Woman with the bag!

I love this name, man!

Who is "Woman with the Bag"?

She is very close to him.

-Oh! -Shut up!

Who is this beast named Saajan Singh?

Let me have a look.

-Who is Saajan Singh? -Wait a minute!

That man. There.

-He is the one. -Oh!

He is Saajan Singh.

-I'll just throw him away. -Hey!

Mehmood, let it go. You are not feeling well.

To hell with him!

I have reformed big goons in Ghatampur. Just like that.

-He is a nobody. Get off my way! -Hey...

Who are you?

What are you doing here?

Do you think you are a punk?

Bullying,

and that too with me! I have been a bad goon in Ghatampur

but...

an idealistic one.

Are you deaf?

Why did you send me this picture, Saajan?

Sir, he came to interrogate me.

I deflated him in a slap.

You will always be an idiot.

He is a dangerous terrorist,

and he is the prime suspect.

If he shoots one shot, you will be blown away.

Idiot, slapping him!

Sir,

why didn't you tell me earlier?

It's the truth.

Hide and take cover.

He can shoot at you anytime.

Let me know as soon as he comes out.

Okay, sir. Sure.

He is still there, man!

It has been a long time since that incident,

-so why is he here now? -I don't know, man!

His hand is so brutal.

Just like the policemen.

Bro,

just think before you do anything.

Where did Janisar go? What the hell is happening?

Bro, please save Janisar.

He is so innocent.

Mehmood, please don't do this. Don't worry. I'll do something.

Just sit here.

-Let's deal with Saajan first. -Yeah.

Uma, you just see if he's gone.

Wait a minute. Let me check.

Hey, guys...

Look at what this idiot is doing.

Come here!

Let me see.

He is very cunning. Look.

They will snatch me.

Oh, man! It's a cannon.

-Oh, God! Oh, boy! -Do you see anything?

Oh, man!

Oh no!

Oh God!

Has he lost his mind?

Oh, God!

Just lie down here.

Manoj. Call Kohinoor.

-Tell him to bring a mask. -Why Kohinoor?

Why do you need a mask?

To avoid the karma of your misdeeds.

He slapped Mehmood. He will kill you if he sees you.

Hello!

Is this Kohinoor?

Quickly bring a mask.

Hey, why the Udti Khabar people are here?

What!

Hey, Ullah! Take it.

Okay, then.

Do well.

Welcome to breaking news.

Where the news is big, the team of Udti Khabar is there.

We are standing in front of house number 13/8 of this locality.

It is learned from reliable sources

that two dreaded terrorists are hiding in this house.

Let's try to know from the local public about the real matter.

-Hello, sir! -Get lost, you idiot!

Do you live here?

-Yes, of course. -What is your name?

I am Kohinoor!

Who lives in 13/8?

Two boys live here. Manoj and Firoz.

Two boys named Manoj and Firoz live upstairs.

-Take a close look. He's Firozullah. -What is this dog doing here?

Get out of here! Get lost!

Oh, man!

-What an idiot! -This is the one

who has given shelter to dreaded terrorists in his house.

Udti Khabar keeps you informed throughout the day.

Hello, sir! Hey!

-Who are you? -Who lives in house number 13/8?

Who lives there?

They are terrorists. Do you know about them?

-Get lost! -Oh, man!

SHIV SAMRAT BRASS BAND

You idiot!

Stop already!

See! Your misdeeds messed up big time.

-What did I do? -"What did I do!"

You made up the whole story, scoundrel!

What happened, bro?

Hey, don't come between us.

Why not?

Why not? You scoundrel!

-What's going on? -If I slap you, you will die, Ullah.

Go on, hit me!

But what's the matter?

-Ask him! -Hey, Manoj, what's the matter?

Think whatever you want. I won't tell you anything.

Hey, moron! You son of a detective!

Kohinoor,

Mehmood Alam and Janisar Akhtar are the root cause of all the trouble.

He is the one who did this.

I'll teach you now.

Why is he kidding?

First of all, tell me why did you create a quarrel between these two.

What are you doing, Kohinoor?

-Tell me! -Oh, boy!

Did you get hurt?

If my father finds out, he will kill me.

Look, Ullah. Had I not done this,

they would never have left.

But now we're in even bigger trouble.

Let go of my neck!

-Loosen the noose! -No, I won't.

I will save you from every trouble. I promise!

-Look, this is wrong. Don't do this. -He is the root cause of it all.

Get me water. Hey, don't do this!

Come on, hurry up! Tie him up!

-You idiot, screwing people everywhere! -This is wrong!

-This is wrong, Kohinoor. -Tie him up tight!

-Don't dare to move! -Get me some water.

-What're you trying to do? -Speak!

Now tell me, why did you create a fight between these two?

-Tell me! -No, I didn't.

Let me teach you some lessons!

-You son of a gun! -Did you eat a lot?

You son of a gun!

Give me your mobile. Call your dad.

And find out about them.

Call him.

-Hello! Mom! -Yeah?

Give the mobile to Dad.

Here, talk to him.

Here.

Hello, Dad! Who are these guys?

Mehmood Alam and Janisar Akhtar.

Hello!

There's no point in talking to him.

Kohinoor, stop it.

-Hello!-Hello!

-Sir!-Yeah?

Two guys have tied the prime suspect to a tree and are beating him.

They are beating the hell out of him.

-If you order, may I... -Saajan, you won't do anything.

-I will beat him like hell. -Where are you guys?

We're in the woods in front of the outpost.

I'll send the force right away.

Tell me,

-is suspect number two there? -No, sir.

I can't see the other one anywhere.

It's of no use.

-Okay. Over and out. -Okay, sir.

-Jai Hind, Captain!-Yes?

-Sir, I need force. -Force?

Sir... This is the same terrorist matter.

There could be an encounter in the woods in front

of the outpost at any moment.

There's no additional force here.

We have the book launch of the minister's book.

But, sir, he's a dreaded terrorist.

I can't even consider him a cook,

and you are saying that he's a terrorist.

But I am sure, sir. He is the one!

You and Prajapati are also there.

I have full confidence that you can deal with this.

I'm just getting the ribbons, Seema.

-I'm on my way. -Okay, sir.

-Yeah, don't spare him! -Hey, stop it!

Just wait!

-Hey, Mehmood, tell me the reason. -You all thrashed me...

I won't spare you. I'm telling you.

You will get worse than this!

Beat him!

-Hey, Uma! Get hold of your pants. -What's wrong with these pants?

The pants won't stay in place.

Tell me, Mehmood, what do you want to say?

But speak wisely

because Janisar has already confessed everything.

Sir, Janisar is a kid.

Don't take his words seriously.

Wow!

So should I ignore the confession of a terrorist?

-Take it as a joke! -Terrorist?

Who is the terrorist, sir?

Both of you. Who else!

How can you say that?

What do you mean?

I mean, who told you this?

Umakant did!

Kohinoor did. Laadle also said this.

Kohinoor, do I look like a terrorist to you?

-Of course! -How?

You look like one. That's it!

There must be a reason.

Or just like that?

Hey,

-can you speak Awadhi? -Of course!

It is spoken in my house as well,

and I have been speaking this since childhood.

Sir, this man can't be a terrorist.

No, Awadhi-speaking man cannot be a terrorist.

Manoj is the root cause of all the trouble.

Bloody liar!

Manoj? Why is Manoj a liar?

Sir, Manoj told me that he is a terrorist.

Yes, sir.

He told me too.

I said what I felt.

What did you feel, Manoj?

That I am a terrorist?

You have been camping in our house for ten days.

Sir, who comes like this with a marriage proposal?

And then your Janisar...

Disappears from home in the morning, evening, afternoon, and night.

No one knows about him.

You can't tell any common relation. What's the conclusion?

Tell me your phone number. Manoj is right.

Sir, it is saved on mobile.

Then give it to me.

-Sir, mobile drowned in water. -See!

-Okay, tell me your address. -Ghatampur.

Tell me your full address. Where in Ghatampur?

Sir, it's the full address.

He won't understand like this. Saajan!

Hey, Saajan!

Oh God!

Sir, I'm telling you.

House number 517, Ghuiyan Street, Tota square, Ghatampur.

Tell me your phone number.

Yes, sir.

Phone number...

-85900852... -Is it correct?

Yes, sir.

-Hello! -Hello!

-Who is it? -It's Inspector Choubey speaking.

Oh, God! It's an Inspector!

What is your name?

Mehroon.

What is your husband's name?

Mehmood Alam.

-Give him the phone. -Sir, he is not here right now.

He's been out for a few days.

So talk to him.

He might be your husband.

Hello!

-Sofia's Dad? -Yeah.

Where the hell have you been for so long?

And where is my Janisar?

Whether I die or live, it doesn't matter to you.

Look,

politely leave my flower-like brother to me.

I'm telling you.

You only care about Janisar.

Only Janisar.

You don't care about me at all.

You have become an elephant after eating.

Many care about you.

I have had loose motion for four days.

I can't even stand straight.

It's all because of your curse.

Burn in hell, you scoundrel!

Go from here!

Dog!

Have you ever stayed at home?

Sir,

arrest me.

I am a terrorist.

Arrest me. I am a terrorist.

I brought the "Imamdasta".

I hate such a useless life.

-I hate such a useless life. -Hey, Idiot!

Oh, man!

But, sir,

not every Muslim is a terrorist.

But I am.

I am a terrorist.

I am a terrorist.

-No, Mehmood, don't say that. Look... -No...

Hit me with a shoe.

You can hit me with your belt. Come on!

No, Mehmood, you are a good man.

Sir, I think

this man can't be a terrorist.

Look at him.

He is alive even after suffering so much by living with a woman.

Take care of him. Let's go.

Hey, Manoj! You are getting a call.

-Hello! -Hello,

Manoj?

-No, it's Mehmood. -Oh, Mehmood,

come to the shop immediately. Janisar has come bald from somewhere.

He is creating a lot of fuss.

Okay, listen. Just wait there.

-I'm coming. -Yes, hurry up!

Hey, Manoj!

Hey, Firoz! Let's go, hurry up!

Hurry up!

Janisar is creating a lot of fuss there.

I'll make you regret this.

Give me my hair back!

Give me my hair back!

Give me my hair back!

Look... Look at my bald head!

Janisar,

what happened?

-Mehmood... -Yeah?

This scoundrel took all my hair.

Whoever sees me will hit me with a slipper.

Relax, Janisar! Relax!

It's okay that you lost your hair.

It will come back, Janisar.

Hey, what the hell!

You are my brother-in-law!

My sister treats you very well.

Look at this!

This is my real face!

This is my real face!

-Relax! -This is my real face!

You were always like this.

Get lost! You, son of a gun!

Oh, my baby!

My son, relax!

-Stop! -Hey, Janisar!

Janisar, be careful! Or you will fall.

-Janisar! -Hey!

-Hey... -Nobody will say anything!

You all are in the same team.

Hey!

Eenie Meenie Miney Moe...

Who the hell has farted?

Hey! What did you say?

You have been jumping here and there like a monkey.

If I slap you, you will go underground.

I won't spare you!

-Get hold of him! -You!

Hold him! Tie him up!

-Hey, calm down! -Tie him up!

Ullah, slipper... Make him smell slippers.

What happened to him now?

Dear Janisar.

Hey, why are you crying, Mehmood?

-What? -Sir...

Firoz, Manoj,

please let us go.

We stayed here for quite along at your behest.

For God's sake, let us go.

-For God's sake, let us go now. -He's getting emotional.

I have to go back

to Mehroon's world now.

Mehmood.

Don't worry.

It ain't easy living with a serpentine woman like her.

If you have any problem,

then come here immediately.

Please take care of yourself.

Please take care of this monkey.

What's there to cry about, Mehmood?

Married men's life is a death pit.

Feel free to jump in.

As you command, sir!

Mehmood,

we all lose against our families.

-Mehmood... -Yes?

when you are here again,

I will give you a new look.

Oh, God!

How will I handle so much love?

If there is heaven, it is here.

Listen to my poetry, Firoz.

It was a coincidence that we met.

It was a coincidence. Your separation was destiny.

You are as far away as you were close.

-Take this tablet half an hour... -Yes.

before meeting your wife.

Just one tablet.

She will seek refuge.

Refuge.

I stole this from the doctor's cupboard.

It is available in the market for 4500..

-Really? -Yes.

She will enslave you. It's a gift from me.

You naughty!

Janisar!

Hey, Janisar!

Hey, wait! You scoundrel!

Hey...

Janisar, relax.

Relax, Janisar.

Relax, Janisar.

Careful.

-Careful. We are going home. -Hey, Mehmood.

Your box of sweets.

Thank you, Firoz.

Janisar...

Shall we go to Ghatampur?

Let's go. Careful.

Let's go.

Come on. Let's drop them off.

We were your guests. You should see us off.

If they are not the terrorists,

then who is the real terrorist?

It's time for your test, sir.

Greetings!

Yes?

Manoj?

Who are you?

I am Ram Sanehi, and this is my brother-in-law Bhole.

We have come from Bachanama.

Manoj's father has sent us.

We are here with Bhole's sister's marriage proposal for Manoj.