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1
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(dramatic music)
2
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♪ ♪
3
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(water splashing)
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‐(soft harp music)
‐What?
5
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♪ ♪
6
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(ethereal music)
7
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What an extraordinary fish.
8
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Now, I shan't succumb
to the sin of pride
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and actually keep it.
10
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,163
Instead, I'll put it back
into the water
11
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:33,400
and wait for some bony,
old, normal fish.
12
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(splashing)
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♪ ♪
14
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(soft moan)
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♪ ♪
16
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I am the spirit of the lake.
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For sparing my life,
I shall grant you a wish.
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Riches worthy of a king,
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world domination,
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godlike powers.
21
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Thank you, kind spirit...
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00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,355
‐Hmm.
‐But, you see,
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I'm but a humble fisherman.
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00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:59,860
Therefore, I shall ask
for nothing.
25
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N‐nothing?
26
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Okay.
27
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,131
Um, to be honest,
28
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,867
I find that deeply problematic.
29
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:08,302
You...what?
30
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:11,205
So, okay, this is something
that only happens,
31
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,040
like, once
every thousand years...
32
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‐Oh‐‐
‐And it's‐‐
33
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it's like you're so privileged
34
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that you're not even
gonna wish for anything.
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‐FISHERMAN: Well, w‐‐
‐I'm sorry.
36
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I find that kind of gross.
37
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I'm from, like,
a humble village.
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We're content
to live our simple lives.
39
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:24,818
‐You know?
‐(laughs) Okay.
40
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‐Do you have...
‐FISHERMAN: No‐‐
41
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Any idea how many
42
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starving fishermen
there are out there...
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‐FISHERMAN: Yeah, well‐‐
‐Who would give anything,
44
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literally anything, for even
half of one of these wishes?
45
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:36,096
Of course. I mean,
I'll just wish, in that case,
46
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for no fisherman
to ever starve again.
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(scoffs)
Okay, no. Sorry.
48
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,402
I mean, la‐di‐da.
49
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:43,604
FISHERMAN: I thought
that's what you wanted me to‐‐
50
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No, let's all bow down
at the feet
51
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of this great savior over here.
52
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(mockingly)
"Oh, thank you. Thank you."
53
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Oh, this is‐‐I'm really‐‐
54
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"Thanks for helping
the fishermen."
55
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Do you think
you could wish for something
56
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that is not, like, um,
extremely patronizing?
57
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How's about...a sausage?
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‐What is wrong with you?
‐(fisherman stammering)
59
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,256
Can you not just ask for
an infinite number of wishes
60
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‐like everybody else does?
‐Look, look.
61
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,426
I'm just trying
to do the right thing, okay?
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(exasperated sigh)
Fine.
63
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Here's your sausage.
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‐I'm being humble.
‐Yeah, whatever, mate.
65
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(ethereal music)
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♪ ♪
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Twat.
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(jaunty instrumental music)
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‐FISHERMAN: Humble day.
‐Humble day yourself.
70
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Could I have
a small tier of ale?
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One ale, coming up.
72
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What's that in your hand?
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Oh, this?
Oh, it's a sausage.
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I got it from this spirit.
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Um, it's quite a good story,
actually.
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BARTENDER: A sausage?
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‐(patrons gasping)
‐Did you just say "a sausage"?
78
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‐(patrons exclaiming)
‐Sort of. I mean, well, yeah.
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Because I find that
very, very problematic.
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‐Well‐‐well‐‐
‐No, listen.
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Don't you see
how privileged you are?
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(groans)
83
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,500
Waving an entire
sausage around
84
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like it's nothing?
85
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:48,836
But the spirit
actually told me‐‐
86
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:52,105
Stop name‐dropping the spirit
of the lake, Ernald.
87
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You take responsibility
for your sausage.
88
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What, you think you're
better than me now, do ya?
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I'm content
just chewing this old log.
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(patrons exclaiming agreement)
91
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,416
Guys, I realize
the sausage doesn't look good,
92
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,918
but, obviously,
I'm happy to share it.
93
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,688
We don't indulge
in your charcuteries.
94
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:08,856
(patrons exclaiming agreement)
95
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,123
I mean, what's next?
96
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,025
A normal glass of clean water?
97
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,660
‐Where does it end, Ernald?
‐ERNALD: No, no.
98
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:14,962
Of course not.
99
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,597
The sausage
is a one‐time thing.
100
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:17,431
It's not who I am.
101
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:18,866
Ernald, Ernald, Ernald, I‐‐
102
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(sighs)
103
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,635
I just think
you're not understanding.
104
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,170
Right? Humility.
105
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:26,974
It's so important for any
truly decent, loving community
106
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,742
where everyone belongs...
107
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:31,912
And that's why you
don't belong here!
108
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,180
Now get out!
Go on, get out!
109
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:34,515
‐(patrons shouting)
‐ERNALD: Well‐‐well, no‐‐
110
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,049
‐(overlapping chatter)
‐No, listen. Come‐‐hey, hey.
111
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:38,519
Yeah, get out!
112
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(door slams)
113
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(door slams)
114
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,759
Ernald, of all people...
115
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Brings me great shame
116
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to think I ever
called him my son.
117
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:53,267
‐(jaunty music)
‐(distant screaming)
118
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,036
Ernald, you
and your prideful sausage
119
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,639
have brought shame
upon our village.
120
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:00,340
I'm sure you understand.
121
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,643
We'll have to banish you
into the woods...
122
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:03,944
‐But why?
‐Forever.
123
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,445
(stammering)
But we can give it to charity.
124
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:06,813
Ernald...
125
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,882
ERNALD: We can still make
something positive from this.
126
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,118
Ernald, it's too late.
127
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:14,421
The consensus is...
you're just a dick now.
128
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,992
(pensive music)
129
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,294
♪ ♪
130
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,997
ERNALD: All those years
in the forest...
131
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,200
it changed me,
132
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,502
and that's how I became
this dreadful, evil
133
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,038
forest demon
who loves sausages
134
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,806
and doesn't care
what anyone says.
135
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:33,874
(chomps)
136
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,777
Mmm...charcuteries.
137
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,045
♪ ♪
138
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,681
So yeah, I mean,
just wanna say thanks,
139
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:41,982
and it's nice, you know.
140
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,217
I mean, I feel
very welcome here
141
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,085
in your community,
so yeah, thanks, guys.
142
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,687
‐(applause)
‐(overlapping responses)
143
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:47,988
Of course.
144
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:50,424
People are so sensitive
these days.
145
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:51,525
‐Right?
‐ERNALD: Yeah.
146
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,060
‐Exactly.
‐(overlapping chatter)
147
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,128
‐These bloody libtards.
‐I mean, even, like,
148
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:57,130
the smallest thing
just sets them off.
149
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:58,298
Thank you.
150
00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,867
(overlapping chatter)
151
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,402
I mean, personally, me,
I steal,
152
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,471
and I eat innocent children
for fun...
153
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:05,939
‐(baby wails)
‐And, apparently,
154
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,208
that makes me problematic.
155
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:09,343
‐At the end of the day...
‐(Ernald gasps)
156
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:10,978
You just‐‐you can't
let it get to you.
157
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:11,879
It really makes one
appreciate...
158
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,146
(slurps loudly)
159
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:14,748
Meeting, you know,
like‐minded people...
160
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:15,883
(slurps)
161
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,050
Like you, Ernald.
162
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,185
I burn down people's homes,
163
00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:19,486
and people get so
over‐sensitive about it.
164
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,121
I mean, come on,
it's just a house
165
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,256
and the people inside it.
166
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,758
Yeah, okay,
I cut people's heads off
167
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,026
because I don't like heads.
168
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,327
That's just the look I like.
169
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,830
Yes, I want to murder
everyone in the world,
170
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:32,199
but I'm still a good father.
171
00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:33,667
(overlapping chatter)
172
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,637
(sinister music)
173
00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:39,840
♪ ♪
174
00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:41,141
Would you like to sip
some blood from this dead boy?
175
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,142
Half the dead boy?
176
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:44,211
No, I'm‐‐I'm‐‐I'm fine.
177
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:46,480
‐(jaunty music)
‐(distant screaming)
12562
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