Original subtitles

(energetic folk music)

♪ ♪

(trumpet blares)

STEWARD: Your Highness, I'm happy to inform you

that there's peace and prosperity

throughout the kingdom.

Oh, that's just lovely.

What a wonderful day it's going to be.

(wind whooshes)

KING: Hm?

Ah, I got a petal in my eye.

Soldiers!

Search the kingdom for whomever is responsible

and bring him to me!

Roger that.

‐You there! ‐(baby screams)

‐SOLDIER: Get out! ‐MOTHER: Oh, no!

‐PEASANT: Leave us alone! ‐SOLIDER: Do as I say!

Capture him!

That stone looks unturned! Turn it!

‐What's underneath? ‐Another stone, sir.

Turn it again!

We have found the perpetrator, Your Highness.

♪ ♪

KING: Little flower, for committing crimes

against the crown, you shall now die.

(cheers and applause)

Serves you right, you pouncy petal pusher!

Have you any last words?

Yeah, so it was my petal, and I'm really sorry

to any king who feels let down by this,

and I'm really sorry to my fans.

Look, I take responsibility for the petal,

but the wind should be the big culprit, right?

I mean, he actually, like, took it and put it

‐in His Majesty's eye. ‐KING: Oh, the wind, huh?

Well, I hereby call for a ruthless,

kingdom‐wide search for this "the wind."

SOLDIER: This child looks suspicious.

‐Take him away. ‐MOTHER: My child!

Seize him! Seize her!

‐Burn it all! ‐(dragon roars)

♪ ♪

You are under arrest for high treason, wind.

♪ ♪

Huh?

(cheers and applause)

What have you got to say now,

then, you bastard blowhard, you?

I take these allegations very seriously,

and I will look into my routines,

but let's talk about the real perpetrator here,

a traitor within the castle walls.

KING: Alas, who has deceived me?

Well, it's your eyelid, Your Majesty.

What's been in front of you the whole time

has played you like a bloody bugger.

He failed to protect your eye and should therefore

be held responsible.

(gasps) My own eyelid.

Arrest him, boys!

(soldiers grunt)

Blinking bastard!

Wait, what? It wasn't me!

KING: Oh, come on. We've got to execute someone.

Who was it then?

It was...um...

foreigners!

Oh, I knew it!

(cheers and applause)

Prepare for war

against the foreigners!

(solemn folk music)

NARRATOR: We have been fighting the foreigners

for as long as anyone can remember.

No one knows what started it all,

but one thing is for certain.

Those foreign bastards had it coming.

♪ ♪