Original subtitles

(mystical music)

♪ ♪

I know, it's like what did he expect‐‐

not being hung, drawn, and quartered?

(laughing) That is horrible!

(both chuckling)

Ohh ...must admit,

it is a huge relief meeting someone

who I can just have a laugh with.

It's a nice change from all the creeps I've been meeting.

It's just been so tough.

I'm sorry you've been through that.

Honestly.

(low background chatter)

Anyway, what else do you do,

apart from... tell horrible stories?

‐(both laughing) ‐They weren't that horrible.

Uh, no, well, uh, I'm a knight's sort of man.

Um...really into the jousting scene.

Huge Evil Druid supporter.

‐And then, um‐‐ ‐Wait‐‐what?

(laughs) Oh, right.

Yeah, I know, jousting. It's kind of mainstream.

Sorry, you support the Evil Druid

that's‐‐that's walking around our town

turning people into snakes?

(ominous music)

(chortling)

(ominous chorus singing)

Okay, right, yeah.

You're an Evil Druid skeptic.

That's fine‐‐we don't have to agree on everything.

(stammering) I‐‐ Are you insane?

He's literally killing innocent people!

Uh, not killing. Turning into snakes.

Besides, he's part of our culture.

Just look at our flag.

(fanfare)

‐I just‐‐I‐‐ ‐I mean, he's the foundation

of our entire economy.

‐(genteel music) ‐Ha ha. Look, Mom.

I'm the Evil Druid!

MAN: It just wouldn't be the same without him.

Mm, these oats are great, by the way.

I saw my own mother turned into snakes

before my very eyes.

Can we just go back to, like...

three minutes ago and forget about this Evil Druid stuff,

do you think? It would just be so silly

to let such a small difference of opinion‐‐

‐Not really a small‐‐ ‐I really like you.

Okay?

Listen.

I've rendered this new tapestry.

It's got pretty good reviews.

I was thinking maybe we could take this back to my place...

(genteel pipe music)

(sighs)

♪ ♪

‐(whooshing) ‐Uhh‐‐

Aah!

♪ ♪

‐(genteel pipe music) ‐I know that he's, like, funny

and interesting and good‐looking,

and...(sighs) I don't know.

It's just this Evil Druid thing.

Why does it have to be such a big deal, though?

I mean, is it‐‐is it the most important thing

in the world?

Well, like‐‐(huffs) if it was just the Evil Druid,

that's one thing, but he's also started

banging on about how great and cleansing

the Eagle of Fire is.

EAGLE: Who shall burn?

Do I really wanna date someone

who can support something that flew out of the pits of hell

to destroy humanity?

I mean, he‐‐he donates money to the damn thing!

Every little bit

counts!

You're not going...

to find, babe, this person

who wants to overthrow the Evil Druid,

who wants to defeat the Eagle of Fire,

who wants to banish the King of Frost

back to his ice castle...

and, you know, massage your entire body every night.

‐It's just not going to happen.

‐That would be lovely. ‐Yeah, it would be,

‐but it ain't happening. ‐But actually, please,

don't get me started on the King of Frost.

This morning, he said he found his ideas

interesting.

(weakly) I'm...so...cold...

I just‐‐I just feel you should be so happy

that you found someone.

I mean, you know,

you were pretty miserable when you were single.

Hmm. I guess.

(genteel pipe music)

Premium donors get free T‐shirts!

♪ ♪

Sorry, are you looking at these tapestries?

They're completely jumping the shark, right?

I think I'm just gonna go to bed.

Oh.

Is everything...okay?

Yeah.

Right. Okay, well,

I‐‐pfft‐‐it's only just 9:00,

so I think I'm gonna head into town.

The Demon Rabbit is going to execute

a bunch of savages from the Sunflower Harmony tribe.

‐(sighs) ‐(huffs)

It's a charity thing.

It's to support city watchmen

who've been fired for excessive violence, and‐‐

Oh, well, give them my best.

That's really hurtful, you know?

Yeah. Chopping people's heads off is really hurtful.

Okay, and when you make fun of me like that, with your...

sarcasm...it hurts.

You know how insecure I am. I just‐‐I just feel...

I never treat you like that.

I let you have your opinions

‐without trying to change you. ‐The things you say

are just so... (sighs)

the Sunflower Harmony Tribe aren't savages.

They literally worship the goddamn Sunflower of Harmony!

And see? See? There you go,

just overwhelming me with facts.

Just because you know stuff.

You can make me feel really stupid, you know?

It's what I believe.

I'm sorry, but I don't know how to express it without‐‐

Please, I just‐‐ I really love you,

and I respect you, and I'm just trying to make it work.

It feels like if‐‐ if you're not judging me,

you're just being distant, and we got into this pattern,

and I...I don't know if I can keep doing this.

I'm sorry.

‐(sniffling) So am I. ‐I hate being like this.

I really wanna make this work, just...

just tell me what I need to do.

All right, all right, oh, oh‐‐

hey, okay.

Where are my city watchmen at?

There they are! City watchmen

in the house tonight! Okay.

(crowd cheering)

It's a flier!

‐Yes! Oh, my God. ‐Whoa! Did you see the head?

‐Ah, well done. ‐(laughing) Yeah, thank you.

Lucky catch!

Oh, my God, we should put this on a spike

next to our bed!

‐Oh, u‐unless‐‐ ‐No, it's‐‐it's fine.

Everything's fine.

♪ ♪