All language subtitles for The Toxic Avenger 3 - The Last Temptation of Toxie [Uncut (1989)]

Tromaville, New Jersey, 1984.

Melvin Junko, a mop-wielding
healthclub janitor,

a scrawny, skinny, weakling,
wimp of a nerd

fell into a misplaced barrel of
toxic chemical waste.

Melvin was suddenly transformed
into a hideously deformed creature

of super-human size and strength.

He became the Toxic Avenger,

the first super-hero
from New Jersey.

The Toxic Avenger, or Toxie,
as he is affectionately called,

went on to crush crime,

beat corruption

and blast chemical waste in his
hometown of Tromaville.

After cleaning-up Tromaville,

in 1988, the Toxic Avenger rose

from beneath
the rubble of retirement

to challenge the evil chairman
of Apocalypse Incorporated.

Toxie's awesome adventure to abolish
the abominable Apocalypse

took him on an outrageous
odyssey to Japan,

where Toxie continued
to crush crime.

In Japan, Toxie learned the spiritual
disciplines of Sumo wrestling.

And the power, beauty
and grace of Sumo

made him better able
to rip bad people's heads off.

Now, evil has
returned to Tromaville.

And you are about to witness
what may be...

THE LAST TEMPTATION OF TOXIE

I can't make up my mind.
I can't make up my mind.

- Oy, Lionstein.
- What?

How many times I have to tell you?

You don't put Redneck Zombies
in with the Walt Disneys.

Did you see the Redneck Zombies ?
That was gruesome.

Gruesome! You want gruesome, you should
see my mother-in-law. That's gruesome.

Drop those video cassettes
or I'll blow your brains out!

My boy, my boy,
my boy.

Listen up. Listen up good, cause we
got some big news for youse.

- You got it.
- You guys suck.

Pick up the phone.
Please pick up the phone.

Please, please don't hurt me,
I'll do anything

I'll do anything you want.
Just don't hurt me.

What do you guys want?
- Shut the hell up!

There's too much
variety in this store.

Now that this
is a Company town,

you're all gonna
rent Company tapes. Right?

No!

That's right. From now on,
only the top twenty video tapes

will be available in this store.

The Top Five: The Apocalypse
Self-Improvement tapes from Apocalypse Inc.

But we like variety.
We like having a lot of choices.

We don't want just top twenty.
We like those movies from Troma.

Screw Troma movies.

Wait a minute.
Do you want variety?

Do you want choice?

Well there's plenty of variety here.

MGM, Columbia and Paramount.

And we're the Warner Brothers.

Tear it up!

No!

Please pick up the phone!

It's amazing how they make
this cardboard piece of shit

look real.

This piece of shit!

No! No.

Look what they're doing to him!

You know dude, you don't
have much intestinal fortitude.

Oy, oy, oy.

Tore your guts out. Skip to my Lou,
skip to my Lou my darling.

Excuse me folks.
How about checking out our adult section?

Good looking guy.

Very good.

Very good, very good.

Hey faggot!

You talking to me?

That's the way.
Hit him. Kick him.

Now don't touch that dial.

Alright.

People of Tromaville,
The Toxic Avenger is back...

and better than ever.

The Toxic Avenger's back!

He's a real man.

Thank you.
Thank you Toxie, you saved us.

Yeah. But it was a rough day,
even for a hideously deformed creature

of super-human size and strength.

What a mensch.

Yes, I was a Toxic mensch. I was back--

fighting crime, corruption and toxic waste.

But it wasn't always that way.

Who would believe that
just a few short months ago

I had actually joined
the forces of evil?

I had actually broken my oath
to protect the little people of Tromaville.

I, the Toxic Avenger, had
become a bad dude.

A toxic trouble-maker.

It's a long and grueling story.

So you better sit back.

This is how it all began.

On the surface,
everything seemed terrific.

Tromaville was safe, Tromaville was happy,
Tromaville was prosperous.

This period became known as
"The Golden Age of Tromaville."

My mom was really proud of the fact
that everybody in Tromaville liked me.

It's wonderful!

My mom was
even prouder of the fact

that Claire,
my non-seeing girlfriend

who, you remember in
Toxic Avenger Part Two,

was now going
to be my fiancée

and live with me forever
in Toxic Avenger Part Three.

You got any change?

Mommy's little Melvin
had finally grown up.

There you are.

Good day, Officer Lloyd.

Yes, on the surface, everything
seemed wonderful.

But deep inside of me were swirling
feelings of horrible, horrible insecurity.

I was now twenty-five years old.

But who was I?

What was I?

Yes, I had rid Tromaville of all evil,

but now I had nothing to do.

There weren't even any parking tickets
to give out.

I'm in.

I, the Toxic Avenger,

was reduced to
preventing old ladies

from cheating at cards.

Naughty, naughty.

Or, occasionally, I found myself trying
to get naughty children

Excuse me ma'am--
to eat their lima beans.

I couldn't even do that right.

Oh brother.

How low could a super-hero go?

Claire and I were living in
the same old dump.

I wasn't bringing in any money
as a super-hero

and I became a terrible burden

living off Claire's welfare check.

Claire had a brilliant career going
as a dental hygienist

and she was making
very good money.

Until one day
she had a tragic accident

involving mouthwash...
rendering her blind.

Hi honey, I'm home.
We got the welfare check.

I think I'm losing my edge, Claire.

Oh, Toxie, don't say that.

Oh,

If only that Lavoris
hadn't splashed in my eyes,

I could see to help you.

Oohhh!

If I could only see.

*ahem*

Wait, wait a minute.

I don't believe this.
Wait a, wait a minute!

Wait a minute!

You're gonna see.

Dr. Ron Goldberg says
that your sight can be restored.

"Dear blind person:

"conditions caused by
retinitis pigmentosa

"found in association
with the wide angle glaucoma

"may now be successfully treated

due to the modification
of the argon laser."

I can't believe it.
I can't believe it!

This procedure has been perfected on
cave bats.

It's been tested on them in labs and
fifty percent of them lived.

Ah! I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.

Uh oh.

Um...

There's a catch.

It doesn't matter Melvin,
it's worth anything!

Three hundred and fifty seven
thousand dollars?

I...

I actually thought I would
be able to see.

Oh well.

It was a nice dream, anyway.

I thought at last I was gonna be able
to see my dear sweet Melvin.

Gee...I'm not so sure
you'd like what you'd see.

Oh Melvin, I just know I would.

You're the nicest boy
I ever met.

I just know you're handsome.

What's the matter, baby?

Nothing.

I just don't want to lose you.

C'mon, we don't know
this operation is dangerous.

And besides, at that price,
it's only a dream

unless I win the Tromaville Times'
Rich and Famous Sweepstakes.

I'm happy the way I am.

I look at it this way: I'll never have to see uglinesss

or war or poverty or pollution

or the Cheverolet Nova.

No way.

This time we're gonna get
you that operation,

'cause I'm gonna get that job.

You're going to get a job and I'm going
to be able to see!

Because of my love for Claire, I took
the only job available.

The most horrifying and humiliating
job known to mankind.

The Toxic Avenger...

I became a representative
of the Internal Revenue Service.

Hello, taxman's here.

Hey.

What - Hey, hey!

Stop it! Stop - stop throwing things.
Cut it out. Watch out!

Ah. Oh. Ow!

Go back home.
Go back to the jungle where you belong.

Since Claire and I were failing in the material world

We decided to spend more time devoting ourselves... to the spiritual world

♫ Amazing Grace ♫

♫ how sweet the sound ♫

♫ that saved, a wretch ♫

♫ like me-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e ♫

♫ vocalizing ♫

Do not be tempted by evil!

The reading for today is from Matthew 4, verse 8 and 9, and I quote,

"The Devil taketh Jesus up unto an exceedingly high mountain,

and showeth him all the kingdoms of the world,

and the Devil sayeth unto him,

'All these things I will give thee if thou wilt kneel down and worship me.' "

♫ vocalizing ♫

♫ vocalizing ♫
Thus endeth, the lesson

♫ vocalizing ♫

I was so depressed and insecure

That I began having nightmares!

Ooh wee!

Where's my deodorant?

Hi, guy! *sniff* Hey, you do stink!

But that deodorant's not gonna help you!

Remember me? It's Melvin, the way you used to be!

Before you fell into that toxic waste
and became a hideously deformed creature of super-human size and strength

Look at you, you bum!

You can't even get a job!

I had a job, even though I was a mop boy in a health spa.

Look at you; Tromaville doesn't need you anymore!

I bet you can't even get it up, can you?

I bet you can't even get a woody!

I could always get it up!

Even though I was always alone...

Give me a shot at Claire, I wanna boff her

uh uh, come on man, come on, let me boff her, show you what a real man can do!

*goofy laughter*

Homo wimp geek! I oughtta kill you!

Hey hey hey hey!

*maniacal laughter*

All these things I will give thee

if thou will fall down, it works for me!

*maniacal laughter*

Look at you! You can't get a job!

You're a bum!

You can't get a job! You can't get a job! You can't get a job! You can't get a job!

Let me boff Claire! Let me boff Claire! Let me boff Claire! Come on!

*panting, screaming*

Melvin! What is it?

What is it, Melvin?

Oh

It was horrible, it was horrible!

I couldn't stop falling, I just kept falling

and falling, I couldn't stop!

Oh poor Melvin, you're very frustrated, what can I do to relieve you, baby?

Claire - Yes, Melvin?

Where's my blankie?

Right here, Melvin.

Oh

Oohhhhhh

I know what always makes you feel better,
Toxie.

While my depression and insecurity
led me to experience

unbelievably realistic nightmares,

they were only nightmares.

But across the river,

in the big city,

there was a giant corporation
called Apocalypse Incorporated,

and it was creating
nightmarish reality.

My good news

is that the newly formed
Five Families Federation

has successfully used their
drug networks

to sell radioactive
grenades to all the third world countries.

Our pilot program in the North Seas
is going well.

We're dumping thirty tons
of PCB's per week.

And even better, we're
dumping seventy-five tons

of radioactive isotopes per day

in the Atlantic.

An excellent record.

I am pleased to report that
our profits from the A.L.S.,

the Above Land Subsidiary,

is real good.

And we are now
pumping massive doses of radiation

high in the sky.

Of course there are still
some Sierra Club sissies in Congress

who are afraid of
contamination up there in space.

But we all know
that's baloney, right?

- Yeah! - Right!

I think that at this point, if there's
anyone that we still can't buy off, well...

we'll just have
to do away with them.

Good. Very good.
Yes. Excellent.

Thank you.
Very impressive...

for a bunch of rank amateurs!

Who do you think
you're talking to here?

I'm going for something
bigger than that.

Now, ever since we
lost Tromaville to the Toxic Avenger,

Apocalypse Incorporated has been

treading water, going nowhere.

Am I getting through to you?
Is-is there something that's unclear?

- No. -No. -No
- No!

Good. Then it's settled then.

You know what I want
ladies and gentlemen.

Toxic Avenger delendus est.

♪ From this valley
they say you are leaving. ♪

♪ I will miss your bright eyes ♪

♪ and sweet smile.... ♪

Claire gave me an appreciation of her
most important hobby, music.

And I gave her an appreciation
of my favorite pastime...

video games.

And she learned to play
very skillfully

by ear.

Hey, Toxie baby. How's it hanging?

See this new video game,
Five Levels of Doom ?

It kicks!

Meanwhile, at the headquarters of
Apocalypse Incorporated,

the plot was thickening

and I was to be the cornstarch.

Silence!

With all the evil, rotten, corrupt,

despicably low people in the world,

why is it so difficult for me to
get some help? Mmm?

Well..it's because...I mean...
I tried...to find...and I...

Stop babbling, Malfaire!

You better get your own Toxic Avenger
on the payroll boss.

Mmmm... we can work with that.

We can work with that.

Ah, with some clever maneuvering.

We can have this monster working on
our very own payroll.

Have the legal department draw up a
contract.

But how are you going to convince him
to work with us?

Aah! No beast so fierce

but knows a touch of pity.

Mmm?

He has a girlfriend, does he not?
- Ah hah.

And that girlfriend needs
an eye operation, doesn't she?

Yeah

Two eyes coming up.

As my emotional tailspin
spiralled downward,

the radioactive chemicals
inside my body were going nuts.

Finally, I decided to end it all.

Perhaps Claire could pick up a few dollars
by donating my body to science.

But even at suicide,
I was a toxic flop.

Oh, Melvin. How could you even think
of taking your own life?

I know.
It's these chemicals.

They've taken over my life.

What am I saying?
I don't have a life,

I have a half-life.

What's to become of me?

Of us?

Don't talk like that Melvin.

It scares me.

Anyway,

this came for you
while you were gone.

It smells important.

It's probably more bad news.

They probably want to
repossess this dump.

Here, you read it.

Okay.

It says, uh,

you, you just won the
Nobel Peace Prize

and ah. the Tromaville Times
Rich and Famous Sweepstakes

and they're going to give you
your own Toxic Avenger TV show.

What?

Give me that you crazy,
silly goose.

Dear out-of-work Super-Hero.

Great opportunity?

High salary?

Benefits out of this world?

What is it, Melvin?

It's a job opportunity.

They want me to--

to represent their company
and be their spokesman or something.

I can't believe it.

Claire, this is what
I've been praying for.

I'm so exited.
Yeah!

Look, I'd better
jump over there right now.

But Melvin, you should
put on a fresh tutuuuuu....

Mr. Chairman,

Mr. Chairman.

The Toxic Avenger is here

and his smelly mop
is dripping

all over our reception area.

Melvin Junko!

Yes sir, That's me, sir.

Right on time.
And you brought your resumé.

Uh, yes sir, right here.
Whoah!

Health club mop boy,
mm, good.

First super-hero from New Jersey,
even better.

Special skill, leaping relatively
tall buildings with a running start

and playing video games.

Fantastic, very impressive.

Mr. Junko, we're looking
for a special person

to be the spokesman for
the Apocalypse Corporation.

Someone with charm, charisma
and a nice appearance

to act as ah, the spokesman

and to spread the good news
of our policies to the people.

Just what
are your policies?

Our policy, Mr. Junko:

giving, that's our policy.

Giving to the people
what they want.

Giving to the people what
they need.

fulfilling desires, Mr. Junko.

That's what
I've always done best.

But you ask yourself,

How?

It's just words,
but how do you do it?

By building,

by growing, by taking
small towns like Tromaville

and revitalizing them into
thriving industrial metropolises.

But I always thought Tromaville was
nice the way it was.

But any place can be nicer.
Everything can be better.

I mean, don't we all strive for more?
Don't you deserve more?

I am a man of wealth
and taste.

I want for you-- wealth
and...

your taste is
something we can work on.

Melvin Junko, come on up!

Look out there, my boy.

Let me show you your future.

Ta da!

Toxic shock!

No, no, no, no.
No toxic shock.

Just your
imagination set free.

Look out there, Melvin. More than
you've ever dreamed of.

A proud shining world

with a Porsche
in every driveway.

Chicken McNuggets in every pot.
And you,

you Melvin,
smack dab in the middle of it

with more than you ever wished for.
Loved by millions the world over.

You will be more popular than
the Beatles and Elvis combined.

That sounds like an awful lot
on minumum wage.

Who said minimum wage? Did I say
minimum wage? I didn't say minimum wage.

Melvy, baby,

what self-respecting,
hideously deformed

creature of super-human
size and strength

works for peanuts? Hmm?

Uh, none I guess.

Melvy, you're a star, bubbale.

All these things I will give thee

if thou will fall down
and work for me. Hmm?

Work for me.

Where have I heard that before?

Work for me.
Work for me.

Work for me. Work for me.

Work for me.

Where have I
heard that before?

Must be some sort
of flashback from that

Iron Maiden concert I was at
when I was fifteen.

Now this is no flashback.

Three hundred and fifty-seven
thousand dollars.

And it's all yours.

Count it, boy. Smell it.

I bet a smart kid like you
could put it to good use.

Buy something
nice for your girlfriend.

Something she's
had her...eye on?

Her eyes, I could pay for her operation!

You got a deal Mr. Chairman.

Just sign on the dotted line, right here.

Woops. Sorry the pen slipped.

Welcome aboard
and ah...

we'll see you
...on ah, Monday.

Oh, and ah, Melvin

Yes, Mr. Chairman?

Get rid of that mop.

It looks like hell.

Here comes Mommy, Melvin.

Melvin it's your mommy.

I brought all your
favorite snacks. Melvin!

Wait a second, Mom.
I'm on the bowl.

I'll be right there.

Just let me wipe.

Darling, what's that smell?

Whoo! it stinks in here.

Melvin, have you been eating properly?

You look mighty thin to me.

Mom, Mom, never mind that, mom.

Look, look look at this.
I got my own business card.

Your own card.

Why, Mr. Melvin Junko,
assistant to the Chairman!

Yeah Mom, isn't it great!

And Mom,
I get to make special appearences.

And I get to talk to people.

And I get to use all my charm
just like you taught me, Mom.

Oooh, it's wonderful!

Oh Mom, I almost forgot the best part.

The pièce de résistance,

the bank book.

Your own bank book?

What?

Three hundred and fifty-seven
thousand dollars?

Oh, I don't believe it.

And mom, feel the numbers. I had them
raised so Claire could feel them.

Aw, you're such a darling boy.
You're so sweet.

Now we can get Claire
that eye operation she needs.

And a microwave oven
for me!

Oh, I'm so proud of you darling!

I love you Mommy.

I love you too darling.

Oh, but Claire,
I think I should stay here with you.

And miss your first day at work?

Oh, Melvin. It's okay.

It's just going
to be tests today, anyway.

And I have the doctor
and Mother Junko here.

It'll be okay.

That's right, Mr. Junko.
Don't you worry about a thing.

I'll take good are of her.

He's a wonderful doctor He's a member of
the country club.

Are you sure
you want me to go, Claire?

Oh, Melvin. I love you.

I love you too, Claire.

And I'll be back
for the operation.

Ladies and gentlemen,

You haven't waited for nothing.

Soon you'll be in the presence
of a real leader.

And here he is.

Right on time.

And he's brought you
a special surprise,

a new employee,
whom you all know and love.

Someone you and I can
trust and depend on.

Someone who really knows how to clean
up this town.

Hi everyone. Hi Mom.

Now citizens, the Chairman.

Hello, how ya doin'?
Hi, how are ya?

Hi people of Tromaville.

Hi everybody.
Hi mom.

Hi everybody.

Look, I got a job.

Mayor Cigarface, people of Tromaville:

Listen to me. Before you pass
any quick judgements,

who are you going
to listen to?

A bunch of
whining environmentalists,

who claim to be
so afraid of toxic waste,

when we know

that waste is
the natural by-product

of every organic process.

Or, are you
going to listen to me?

The one who cares enough
about you... and your families

to build for you
a new and better Tromaville.

No.
Up yours, up yours!

On so noble
an enterprise as this,

a profit there will be.

Yes ladies and gentlemen,

dioxin means dollars.

Chemicals are cash.

Say it to yourselves.

Hold it down, hold it down.
Just listen.

Ahh! Ohh!

He knows
what he's talking about.

I know that some of you out there
seem to think

that chemicals are bad.

I submit to you,
you are chemicals.

Everything is made of chemicals.

And join me now
in embracing dioxin

and all her sister chemicals

and everything they represent.

Happiness,

prosperity,

life.

That, people of Tromaville,

is the Apocalypse way.

On my first big day
working for Apocalypse,

I was so excited
about my good fortune

that I didn't notice
that the Tromavillians

were actually
hostile to the Chairman.

Had I known then what I know now about
the evil excesses of capitalism

and the power elite, I surely would never
have joined Apocalypse Incorporated

but I didn't even read Mad Magazine
much less Forbes,

or the Wall Street Journal.

How was I to know that the true agenda
for Apocalypse, Incorporated

was to take over Tromaville

and enslave its people?

No. No. No.
No!

Let go of her.
Let go, ow!

I have to admit,
I did think that it was a bit strange

that the Apocalypse employees
in the gas masks

were beating my friends senseless

and dragging away even my mother
into rehabilitation camps.

But the chairman said that these were
just the usual malcontents

who turn-up for any cause or function;

just there to interfere with progress.

And I bought it hook, line and sinker.

When my new company put the children
to work making agent orange

and other toxic chemicals,
they told me it was a wonderful thing

because all the children would
be earning minimum wage.

And besides, it would develop
their small motor skills.

And they would
really learn their primary colors.

Come on. Get up. Get up.

So you think this is going to be the new
home for the blind, do ya?

Well, you're wrong.
This is the new nerve gas dump site.

Looks great.
I better go check out our boy.

How's he doing?
- Okay. Let's see.

Mmmh. That's not so heavy.

There you go.

Be careful.

One of my responsibities
was to get the Tromavillians

to join the Apocalypse Incorporated
Self-Improvement Seminars.

I did everything I could
to help these volunteers

find their way
to the right classrooms.

Stop pushing!
Stay in line.

- There you go.
- Thanks.

Apocalypse Incorporated

had me doing a little bit of everything.
- Have a nice day.

C'mon, c'mon.
Watch your step.

We'll tear down
these crummy homes.

Yeah, like this
old silo.

Thanks potato head.
- Bye Bye!

Why don't you nail that sign
down the block.

Have a nice day.

Nurse, would you dispose of this please.

Of course doctor.

Thank you.

Melvin Junko?

Melvin?
- Yes Claire. I'm here.

Doctor?

I'm over here Claire...
I'm over here, relax.

Mother Junko?

I'm here dear.

Melvin?

Yoo-hoo.

Claire, nothing to be afraid of.

You're going to be seeing all those
wonderful things very soon.

Just hold very still.

I don't want to
poke your new eyes out

with these scissors.

Hold very still.
I'm getting there.

Just another moment.
- Melvin?

Just another moment.

Keep your eyes closed
until I tell you to open them.

Okay, very very slowly.

Very slowly.

That's it.

That's it.
That's it Claire.

Melvin it's too horrible.

No Claire, calm down.
Melvin's over there.

Melvin?

Melvin. Melvin, you're beautiful.

Claire. You can see.
You can finally see.

I can see.
This is the happiest day of my life.

Oh Melvin.
Oh darling!

Look at this beautiful place we live in!

Oh, I love it! Oh!

Oh look at all these beautiful things!

Oh god, oh!

Roses!

I recognize them by the smell!

Oh, baby!

These are roses, I can see them!

I can see, look!

Oh they're so beautiful!

Oh, oh, everything's so pretty!

What's this?

Oh!

This is so beautiful!

Well that's Tide, it's a detergent.

Oh Melvin I just love it!

Look over here!

What's this?

It's

It's so exquisite

So perfect

Heh heh

Now that, is a dust ball

Heh heh

Heh heh!

Who's that man?

That's Benjamin Franklin

He's my hero

But he's so old and wrinkly

I like the way you look!

You look so...

Rugged, and...

Handsome

Oh baby. Oh, squeeze me.
Oh, squeeze me.

Oh, Melvin!

Oh, squeeze me baby.

Oh that's right baby.

No I want to see everything.

Heh heh!

Heh heh, heh heh

So this is your big,
beautiful love machine.

Yes. That's one of the advantages
of being a hideously deformed creature

of super-human size and strength.

Oh, that's nice.
Hold still.

Oh touch me!
Touch me!

Oh, honey, oh!

Yes!

I love you.

♪ Oh, ♪

♪ There's no place ♪

♪ like ♪

♪ home. ♪

I guess I won't
need these canes anymore.

When this land-fill is created,

it will be the largest
chromium waste dump

within a thousand miles.

The Toxic Avenger

is one of Apocalypse's
most promising young executives.

Yea!
- Yeah.

Well done, Melvin.

- Yeah!
- Yea.

Melvin. Here honey,
I made your favorite breakfast.

Radioactive oatbran.

Melvin? Melvin!

Melvin!!

Your breakfast is ready, sweetie.

Heey. No time babe.

Anyway, I gotta do an egg
with the chairman this morning!

like wow, okay, look at this.

Waste Vacuum's up
three pointers.

Huh?

Hey, hey. Don't be so glum.

Soon, it's the weekend.

We'll do brunch.
What are you gonna do this morning, babe?

Well, I thought
I'd take a nice long walk...

...and go over and see the
environmentalists.

They want me to help them save the
Tromaville bird santuary.

But Melvin,
what kind of talk is that?

"Do an egg. Do brunch."

That doesn't sound
like New Jersey talk to me.

That's upwardly mobile lingo, ya know?

But listen,
I got to go, go, go!

So, like he said, okay. S'okay? Okay.
So listen, I got to go.

Oh. Kisses and hugs. Remember, you
gotta go, go, go!

Heh, hey. Yeah!
Ooo, I gotta check that tutu.

There it is. There it is!
It looks great.

Bye-bye. Heh, heh, heh, hah.

Babe?

Do an egg?

Waste Vacuum?

Mmm.

Can you believe it?

I don't know.

Oh my God!

Hey girls. What's up?
- Hey, hey. - Give me some.

The worst of it was poor Claire.

The operation opened her eyes

just in time to see
her beloved Tromaville

overrun with the parasites
of corporate greed

and the vermin
of political corruption.

- Huh!
- And I was the cause of it.

C'mon over here baby.

- How much will it take to get both of you
off the street? Whoah! - Lousy pimp!

What's going on here? Hey you hookers.
Get out of here.

Yes sir. Yes sir.

Leave this young man alone.
Whaddya think your doin' here!

You, you, you, you
and you gotta-- ah-- go-- ooo--

C'mon. C'mon. Don't you know
the babes are checked. C'mon. Move it!

Echh!

Vomit break. Vomit break.

C'mon. Puke or die, you bastards.

Get it up. let's go. C'mon, c'mon.
Wheel out that stomach.

C'mon, c'mon. Alright. Tromavillian
Aaaah. Go Home, puke,

come back in 20 minutes. I don't want
to see anybody without puke stains on 'em.

Before I knew it, I'd become
a toxic yuppie on the fast track.

The Tromavillians
tried to put on a brave face,

and made the best
of their mutated environment.

But what does one feed to a creature that
is half frog and half duck?

Worse yet,
what would you call it?

Listen. Listen!
I don't care if she's 80.

If she doesn't have the rent
at the end of the month,

I want her out of there.

Larry, bubbale, baby!
How are ya?

Melvin. I want to talk to you.

Can't it wait?
I'm on the phone.

No.

Well, I gotta go.
Claire's being a nudge.

Ah, yes.

Melvin, something's very wrong.

This company you're working for,

I think they're doing evil things.

Don't be silly.

You've changed so much, lately.

You seem so different.

You're just not yourself, lately.

Well, yes, but...
how could you badmouth Apocalypse?

I mean, c'mon.
If it wasn't for them,

you would still be
stumbling around on that cane.

I know,

but I'd rather be,
I'd rather be blind in heaven

than sighted in hell.

Tromaville's being destroyed.

And all you can do is listen to executapes
morning, noon and night.

Melvin,

I think someone is trying to
brainwash you.

I don't have to listen
to this garbage.

You just remember, I signed that
contract for YOU !

And I gave up my blindness

to see you get involved in a plot
to pollute the world!?

Haah!

What about all the people who counted
on you to clean-up evil?

What about all the kids
who believed in you?

What about all those people
in reel 9 of the first movie

who stood up for you?

What about the messengers, Melvin?
You're their hero.

What about all those marvelous people
out there in the dark?

What about your
favorite patriots, Melvin?

Is life so dear,
or peace so sweet

as to be purchased
at the price of slavery?

I know not what course
others may take... but as for me,...

Give me liberty,
or give me death!

I'm outta here.

Just walk out the door and...

and turn your back on humanity.

Phooey on you, toxic traitor.

Boo, toxic bad guy.

Pick on Donald Trump.

Why don't you
go out to Exxon.

I felt that my whole world was
caving in around me.

I went to my favorite place
to sit and think:

the junkyard.

Coming to this place had
always comforted me.

But now, the old cars,

the headlights
were staring at me.

The grills were grinning
and mocking me.

Oh, oh, oh. Whoah, whoah.

300 and 57,000 dollars.
It's all yours.

300... ... ...for you.
- 300 and 57,000 dollars, its all yours.

Wooh, ha, ha, ha.
- Whoah.

All these things....

Whoa... whoa...

Let me boff Claire.

Whoa, oh, oh...

Let me boff Claire....

We won't rescue you...
let me boff Claire.

$357,OOO. Ha, Ha, Ha.

$357,OOO.
$357,OOO. Ha, ha, ha.

All this can be yours!
If you will work for me.

All this,

if you will fall down
and worship me!

Wait a minute!
You said worship me.

You said worship me!

Not work for me.

Where have I heard
that before?

All these things I will give thee,

if thou wilt kneel down
and worship me!

Oh, nooo!

Nooo!

How could I have thought
that I was helping Tromaville?

How could I have been so deluded?

Oh, I can't believe it.

Claire was right.

What have I done?

Have I sold my soul?

What have I become?

I'm evil.
Evil.

How can I face her again?

What can I say
to make it up to her?

I can't believe it.

Claire,

Claire,

Claire,

Claire.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Melvin, what's wrong?

You're shaking.

Don't worry. I'll be alright.

I think your eye operation
has helped me to see.

You were right.

Apocalypse is evil.

They do horrible things.

I've got to stand up and fight them.

But how? How are you going to do that?

Well, the sumos taught me

that when you
face a formidable opponent,

you must make the first move.

I'm so proud of you, baby.

But how will
you fight Apocalypse?

How will I fight them?

How will I fight them?
How will I fight them?

The old fashioned way, that's how!

Oh, Melvin!

Well, that's the whole, horrible,
terrible truth.

What a mensch!

But now I was ready
to make amends.

Now I would show the good
people of Tromaville

that they could look up to me once
again as their very own,

newly reformed, hideously deformed,
super-hero.

But first I had to earn their respect.

As quick as my two feet
would take me,

I was out there
giving them my toxic all.

The Toxic Avenger is coming.

Melvin's back.

The Toxic Avenger is back

The Toxic Avenger's coming.

Melvin, bbbbbb.

Thank you for saving my dog. Toxie.

Here's your doggie, good junior citizens.

Helping to undo all the
horrible wrongs I had committed

during my descent
into the Chairman's clutches.

But now, I was ready to confront the
evil chairman on his own turf.

I would mop up
the evil in Tromaville

and make room for
''The Toxic Avenger Part Four!''

Aah, my new assistant.

Still carrying that mop I see.

Here to ah, clean up
the new headquarters?

Ha, ha, ha...

Here to clean 'em out!

Ho, ho. It was a joke!

Melvin, Melvin, Melvin.
What's wrong?

I thought, uh, we were partners.
You and I had a deal, hm-hm?

Toxic Avenger
doesn't deal with evil.

Well, well. I think our boy
knows something.

I think I know who you are!

- Whooo.
- A contract is a contract.

And you're a man of your word.

Right, Melvinnnnn!

I don't care
about your dumb contract.

We want you out of Tromaville.

Good citizens of Tromaville,
Apocalypse is through.

Chairman, you're history.

Yes, Melvin.

I am history.
Muahahahaha!

- What's happening? - Oh my God,
- Look at that!

Oh, you still don't realize

whom you're dealing with,
do you?

See me as I am !!!

Ahhrgh !!

Stay back. Stay back.

-Whoo! Ooo, what fun!

Oh, oh, my purpose! Ooo!

Ooo...

Ewww!

I'm totally confused.

Oh! The Devil.

Ah, ha, ha, ha.

Yewch!

Uugghh, you are one ugly amphibian!

Alright, Junko.

Let's party.

No problem.
I meant to do that.

What will it be?
Dark places?

Magic swords?

Choose your weapon
and your arena.

Oh, I know.

You play video games,
don't you Melvin?

I'm going to show you the
Five Levels of Doom.

Earth,

wind,

fire,

water

and the last one.

But nobody gets to the last
one anyway.

Then let
the battle begin.

Ready or not,
here we go!

Oooo.
Level One: Earth.

Oh, Melvin!

Oh no, oh. Oh! I don't believe it!

Just murder him!

Oh no, oh!

This is one load of toxic waste
that won't stay buried.

Hey you!
Hey lawn-mower face!

Get him! I'll give you
a thousand dollars to run that guy over.

Wait, the budget for this movie is
only two million.

Thirty! Thirty dollars... I'll give you
thirty dollars to run over that guy.

Get him! Get him!
Run him over now.

Melvin, watch out!

Stop!
Stop it!

The Devil has paralyzed me,
I can't move.

I can't move!
- Save my son.

Melvin!

My baby! Don't hurt my baby!

Huh?
- Oh.

That's my son, my boy!

Ah! You did it!

Mmmh.
Nice work, Melvin.

But now, we're up to level two.

A personal favorite of mine...

Fire.

I'll turn Tromaville into ashes.

Have a taste of hell.

Oh please,
carry him some water.

Please, put him out.
Water!

Somebody help!

Oh no we're out of water.

C'mon outta that tu-tu, John Henry.

Now I'm pissed.

Your friends saved you.

But can you
save your friends?

Oh, see the little children getting
on the school bus.

It's fun and games time.

Don't make a fuss.
Leave the driving to us.

All aboard.

Melvin look!

They're all going my way.

No, not the children.

Your battle is with me.

Safety first kids.

Hold on kiddies,
we're going through a curve.

Stay calm good citizen.

♪ Miss Lucy had a steamboat ♪

♪ The steamboat had a bell ♪

♪ Miss Lucy went to heaven ♪

♪ And the steamboat went to hell. ♪

Da dum, da da de dum,
da dum, da dum....

This is so good.
- Marvelous. -Yeah good.

This is good pie.

That's pork, Rabbi!

Hey look!

No!

What?

No.

Watch out.

No.

Watch out.
Get out of the way.

Oy.

Gotcha.

C'mon, c'mon.
Break some legs, let's go!

No...

No!

That got 'em

Don't be frightened.
I'm coming!

How do you like this level of Doom?

Wind.

Oh, give up now Melvin,
and they live.

Never!

Let's go.

- Help! - Help! - Help!!
- Help! - Help!

I've got to save 'em.

Ow, uh, ouch, ow, oh...

No!

Have no fear children.
Toxic's here!

I can't do this.
I'm not Superman.

I got it!

Door!

Don't just stand there, Malfaire.
Shoot him!

Aw, it's jammed.

There. Alright, everybody out.
Quick! Move it.

Fall, bus, fall!

Hurry. The bus is about to fall.

Thanks Toxie.

There you go.

Thank you Melvin.

Don't mention it Glenn.

Get out now or you won't be around to
see how this movie ends.

Hurry. C'mon.

I'm melting.

The witch is dead.
Yeah!

Ding dong, the witch is dead.
- Yay!

Melvin! Yay!

Oh my God,
the Devil's fixing the bus.

He's putting it
back together again.

What's going on?

Ah, you may have
left Malfaire flat.

But now
you will perish, Avenger.

This next level of Doom
is a doosie.

Water.

Stop that bus.

Banzai.

You devil you.

Don't slip you.

Hang on Melvin.

Don't drive into Bob Tall's Famous
Fantasy Acres Mud Bogs.

- Oh no. - No!
- Oh no, no!

-Yah! - Yay!
- Yeah.

Oh God.

It's an old Sumo trick.

They use it whenever they're in
a runaway school bus

that plunges
into a deadly pool of

muddy, murky water.

'Scuse me. Excuse me, people.
Get out of the way.

I've gotta clean up
this dirty mess in Tromaville.

You are becoming
an annoying horsefly.

But swatting time is here.

I bring you,
courtesy of hell,

the final level of Doom.

The mind is a terrible thing
to waste.

And I...

am going to waste yours.

Stop it! Stop it!

What's happening to me?
I don't feel so well.

You ought to
treat those boils.

Oh, what's the matter, Melvin?
Got a headache?

No!

Losing weight
the easy way, Melvin.

Pull yourself together, Melvin.

Oh, no. Oh Toxie.

Oh no. No!

Oh, my God. What's happening to Toxie?

Melvin, Melvie.
Melvie!

Claire, Mommy, Claire.

Julie, Julie. I don't smell nuthin'.

Mommy!

Mommy! What happened to me?
What happened to me?

Oy vey!
You look just like your father.

Oh, my poor boy.

Melvin, Melvin,
here's your Sumo diaper.

Put it on.
Put it on this way.

Maybe this will help you.

Remember what
your sumo friends taught you?

Remember?

Oh, little Melvin. You don't even know
where you are.

Are you in Tromaville?
Are you in Japan?

Where are you?

Oh look, look. little Melvin.
Your girlfriend wants to help.

I denounce you, Satan.

Oh! Oh my God!
My eyes. I'm blind.

I'm blind again.

Help me. Melvin.

Melvin.

Melvin.

It's your mother.
Melvin.

Ooo, what are doing to her?

After all, a boy's best friend
is his mummy.

If only I could find that contract.

Ah, if I could find that contract

then maybe
I could help Melvin.

I don't know where he put it.

If I could just find that contract

then we could
clean this whole thing up.

Get out of my way, worm.

Look. Look at him.

Look what's become
of the Toxic Avenger.

He's back to
the sniveling mop boy

you all made fun of.

Where's that braille version of the
contract Toxie made for me?

If I could just find that contract,

then we could clean up this mess.

That's it.

Aw, look.
Isn't he ready for destruction?

Aren't you tired of this pink
tutu'd pansy?

We're tired of you, Mr. Chairman!

And ve're tired of vat you're company
is doing to our Tromaville!

We're tired of ground water pollution.

And your sludge.

And the PCBs!

We're tired of your
filthy lawyers and accountants

and we're fed up with your
perverted investment bankers.

The Toxic Avenger has always
played fair with us.

And he's the only toxic waste
we need around here.

If you want him,
you've got to go through us.

This town has
never had it so good.

I order you
to go back to your hovels

and jump in your beds.

I just might be willing
to forget all this

and let you
show up for work tomorrow.

Please let us through.

Claire has found
a way out of the contract.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
She's found an escape clause.

Please let me through.

Claire has found a way out.

Oh, oh my God.
There's an escape clause.

You, you tell them about it.

It's very important.

The force majeure states:

"Clause Eleven: Termination.

"The employee's obligations hereunder

"shall remain in full force and effect
for all enternity.

"However, said obligations
shall be terminated,

"and this agreement shall be rendered
immediately null and void,

upon a miraculous act of God."

And God is in the
hearts of the people.

It's an escape clause.
It's an escape clause!

What about this?

It's an escape clause, see?
What about that, huh?

So where is He?

On vacation in the
Grand Bahamas?

I don't see Him around protecting
His interests.

I'm the only one interested in this
dirty little town.

And you're yesterday's waste, pal.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Message for Mr. Junko.

I have a message
for Mr. Junko.

Urgent message for
Mr. Melvin Junko.

Can't you see
we're busy here?

I think this takes priority.

No one takes priority
over me.

Oh?

Ahum, ahum, ahum.

Um, maybe one.

Let's get the hell outta here.

Cheese it, it's the big guy.
Let's get out of here.

Claire. Claire.

Madonna mia. Gott in himmel.
Was ist das?

It's raining.

It's wonderful.

It feels tingly on my body.

It's nectar from God.

It's some healing liquid.

Oh, it's sweet,
it's sour, it's warm.

What's happening little Melvin?

What's happening? What's happening?
What's happening?

Melvin, what, what... oh!

Beautiful Melvin.

Oh, Melvin you're back.

You're back Melvin, oh!

There's my son.

I can see. I can see.

I am back. But now I feel like
kickin' some devil ass.

This has gone on long enough, Devil.

I think it's about time that somebody
put the fear of God in you.

Be reasonable. Think of what you're
giving up, Melvin.

That's Mr. Melvin to you!

Oy Gevalt !

Oh! This is more disgusting
than General Hospital.

(speaking Japanese)

Are you okay?

Up you go reverend.

Gee whiz!

I've only had my eyes
a short time

and already I've seen everything.

I do.

Then I now pronounce you man...

uh, monster and wife.

You may now kiss the bride.

Oh, my baby boy.

Oooo.

Thank you.

I'm so delighted.
Thank you.

So me and Mommy...
and Claire

walked off
into that toxic sunset.