Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull

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Trick or treat.

Hi.

Oh, you guys look so cute here.

Alright, for you as well.

Alright.

Happy Halloween.

Okay kids, Happy Halloween.

No right.

You had no right to...

Baby Mark.

Fuck!

Honey, I'm home.

Happy Halloween, students.

Masks will not be permitted on campus today.

So, if you have a mask...

Tommy, mask, off!

Please place it inside your locker

and leave it there until the end of the school day.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation, students.

And, have a blessed holiday.

Hey, Mama, what's your name?

My name is Mrs. Block

and I start teaching here next week.

Why?

Because I'm a teacher and it's my job.

No, I mean, why here?

Mrs. Block, Principal Dale will see you now.

Thank you.

It was nice meeting you, Tommy.

Call me.

God damn it, Tommy, stop hitting

on every woman who walks in here or I will end you.

So, how is small town life treating you, Mrs. Block?

Well, I mean, there's some adjustments for sure,

but, uh, it's nice.

Where are you from originally,

Los Angeles, if my memory serves?

Yes, my husband and I are both native to Los Angeles.

And, you taught middle school out there.

Yes, for about eight years.

Oh, that must've been hell.

It's not as bad as you might imagine or may have heard.

I'm sure, but I have heard stories.

What kinda stories?

Oh, you know, troubled youth stories, hooligans,

Los Angeles ne'er-do-wells.

I mean, there are certainly some bad apples,

but I can assure you that is not a California relegation.

Sure, sure.

But truthfully, this whole world has gone to hell

in a hand basket and not just Los Angeles.

We have to watch these kids closer than ever before,

keep an eye out.

These kids, they're dangerous.

They're dangerous now.

I'm sure I'll do just fine.

Are you a God-fearing woman?

Are you asking me if I'm religious?

I'm asking you if you fear the good Lord on high.

I'm sorry, Principal Dale, I'm struggling

to understand how that question is relevant.

It's not.

Consider it a personal inquiry on my behalf.

Okay, then I would say that I am agnostic, if anything.

I don't subscribe to a particular core belief system.

Oh, I see.

You're one of those science people.

Well, never mind.

Look, Mrs. Block...

Call me Ella.

Mrs. Block.

Now, you may be used to certain teaching methods

back where you're from and I, and by I, I mean,

the board, respect that.

But, what you have to respect is

this is a very particular town

with a very particular way of life,

way of belief, way of education.

If you can adapt to that with an open mind,

you'll fit in just fine.

You come highly recommended and frankly,

I thank the good Lord that you're here

because we could certainly use someone with your background.

I just don't wanna have any issues.

There won't be any.

Great, then I'm excited

to see you here come Monday.

Okay, see you Monday.

Oh, Mrs. Block, Happy Halloween.

You set the alarm?

I don't wanna sleep all day.

I thought you had a meeting this morning.

I did.

I came back home and got in bed

just to sleep for half an hour.

Get up.

Honey, even God took a day off work.

This moving is kicking my ass six ways from Sunday

and I don't like it.

There's a veritable boatload of boxes

crying to be unpacked.

We can't let their cries go unheard for very long.

We don't wanna look like bums.

But, everyone think we're bums, who?

Who's gonna think we're bums?

We don't know anybody in this town.

Not for long, shiny personalities such as ours

need other similar auras to thrive.

Honey, I start work tonight,

Halloween Night, at the hospital.

Brother needs to sleep.

Do you know how many candy apple-related child injuries

I'm gonna have to deal with?

Makes me sad just thinking about it.

Fine, be a bum.

Okay, I will.

I'm going to do some unpacking.

Coffee, stat.

Yeah, yeah.

Why do we even have this still?

It's a giant R.

Coffee stat, my ass.

Coffee, coffee, no.

♪ Da da da da da

♪ Da da da da da

Honey, is that you?

No, it's not.

Hey, you wanna join me?

Sorry, too busy for copulation.

Come on, we gotta break in the new place.

There's a cup of coffee for you on the tub.

Hey, hey, if I use, if I use curly shampoo

on my head, will it make my hair curly?

God save me.

You're stressing yourself out.

I'm not stressing myself out.

You're worrying.

I'm not worrying.

We should hire day laborers.

You trust day laborers with our stuff?

Racist.

No, it has nothing to do with race.

You know what this house needs?

Organization?

A pumpkin.

Why the hell do we need a pumpkin?

It's Halloween.

Wow, is it?

Lady, you're oblivious.

Are you not aware of your surroundings?

Forgive me.

Are you gonna rinse that?

Eventually.

I'm gonna head to the supermarket we saw

on the way into town.

There's a supermarket on the way into town?

Oblivious.

Robert, we just have so much to do around here.

We don't need to waste our time decorating.

I'm gonna cut you off there.

We totally can waste time decorating.

It's the best part of being an adult.

You get to pick and choose when to be responsible.

And, plus, I'm not even saying we whole hog it.

I'm simply suggesting that we carve a silly face

into a pumpkin to help center us.

I'm centered.

You're also a liar, not a very convincing one,

but a liar nonetheless.

Fine, get your stupid pumpkin.

But, no candy.

I prefer not to have to field a myriad of knocks

from expectant hungry kids all night.

God, you're lame.

I have shit to do, understand?

I need keys.

Pivot your head a little to your right.

Really?

That's the first thing you unpack.

Organization, that's what this place needs.

Well, it also needs a pumpkin.

Have fun unpacking.

Thanks.

Rinsing.

Accomplishment.

It's gonna be a long day.

Who is it?

Woo hoo.

Hi, it's Mrs. Dekker.

I'm your neighbor next door.

I wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.

Weirdo.

Well, that's a bad idea, if ever I've seen one.

What is?

Well, I didn't hear you unlock the door,

which leads me to believe that you didn't lock it.

Which is a very bad idea.

Sorry.

Oh no, don't be sorry to me.

Be sorry to your future terrorized self.

I baked you a pie.

Oh, that's very kind of you.

It's got Halloween theme

and little bite-sized goodies in it.

Thank you.

You are so welcome.

Uh, did you wanna come in?

Oh no, no, I've been in that whole house

many, many times.

No snooping notions for this old hag.

No, I just, I really just wanted to welcome you

to the neighborhood and to

give you a little word of warning.

Oh, if it's about locking the door,

just consider that noted.

My husband just left.

No, it's a word of warning about the neighborhood.

You see, you being new and it's such a nice street.

It looks like it was ripped out of a Rockwell painting,

but there is one bad apple.

His name is Samuel and he is a sex offender.

I figured since you're new that you didn't get

that whole door-to-door admission of guilt thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, thank you for telling me.

Yeah, he worked over at the elementary school on Madison.

And, you know where Madison is?

No, I can't say that I do.

It's right by here and well,

he was caught cavorting with his students.

Yeah.

Kids, just children, really.

Well, thank you for the pie.

Oh yeah, yeah, you're so welcome.

Um.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

Oh, God damn it.

Hey, I'm back.

Hard at work I see.

Honey, I'm home.

Shit!

I'm beginning to question your work ethic.

Can't hold your breath forever.

Fine, if that's how you wanna play it.

Ass, turn it off.

You ruined my perfectly relaxing bath.

That was my intention.

Ass.

You said that already.

I was taking a break.

From working oh so hard.

Yeah, I got a lot of unpacking done.

Not, I saw one box in the living room that was empty.

Did you check the kitchen?

No, should I have?

If you had checked the kitchen, you presumptuous fool,

you would've seen the results of the bulk of my labor.

And, I guess I'm just supposed to take a report.

You're my husband.

You're supposed to take my word on everything always.

Oh Christ, is that what I signed up for,

blind suppositions and constant nagging?

Constant nagging, my ass.

Get out!

No.

But, I totally the temperature buzz

with that water stunt.

Actually, it's quite comfortable.

I think you should get in.

I should most definitely not do as you are suggesting.

Because I got a trunk full of pumpkins that need retrieving

then carving before I gotta haul ass to the hospital.

Pumpkins not pumpkin, meaning plural?

Plethora.

Oh God.

I can't be trusted when seasonally shopping.

What can I say, I festive by nature.

Well, I've made a decision.

About what?

I think that you must take a dip.

What?

No, no, no.

Yes.

General etiquette lesson, just putting this out there.

If you're going to dunk someone in a tub of water

against their will, it is just polite to have a towel

waiting for them.

A real towel, not a hand towel

the size of a Muppet's loincloth.

You drew first blood.

My actions were purely reactionary.

What the hell are these doing in the dining room, anyway?

You gonna help me with these pumpkins now?

Must I?

For better or worse.

This truly falls into the latter category.

Depends how you look at it.

Where's the blow dryer

and my cardigan?

You know these chairs should have your names on 'em.

You're up here sitting in 'em so much.

Your teacher asked you politely to please remove the masks.

Politely.

Like a human being.

Principal Dale, I'm gonna take my lunch now.

That's fine.

Just let me know when you get back.

Okay.

Did you see what I did there?

That was being human.

All right, you need to remove your masks.

Give 'em to me.

I'll get 'em back to you at the end of the day.

No!

Principal Dale.

How much did all this cost?

Not much.

How much is not much?

Not much is not much.

Stop being a.

I know not the meaning of the word.

Come now, let's get busy before I have to

rush off the hospital for a night of charcoal feeding,

alcohol abusing college cretins.

Yeah.

Jesus.

What's wrong?

Wow.

Who the hell is that?

The resident pederast.

Are you kidding me?

No.

Our lovely neighbor, who I assume is the resident busybody

informed me of his presence while you were out

participating in pumpkin palooza.

Why is he just standing there like that?

I know not the minds of sexual deviants.

Hey, be kind.

He may be reformed.

I'll go talk to him.

Hey there, buddy.

Uh, my name is Robert.

My wife, Ella, and I just moved to the neighborhood.

Okay.

Hey, look I was just curious why you were, you know,

standing here in front of my house.

It's a free country.

I can stand here if I want.

Fair enough.

Anyway, hey could you do me a neighborly solid

and you know, not lecherously stand here?

It's creeping my wife out.

No problem.

I don't wanna creep anybody out, not on Halloween.

There's enough creepiness in the air.

Yeah.

Name's Samuel.

You can just call me the resident pederast.

Everyone else seems to.

Well, that sure as shit took the piss out of my Halloween.

What the hell happened?

You need to keep your voice down from now on, okay?

What do you mean?

I need to Clorox the first layer of skin

off my palm, forgive me.

Are you mad at me?

He heard what you called him, Ella.

What did I call him?

The resident pederast.

That's what he is.

Be that as it may, he's creepy,

he lives across the street,

and he's got an alleged rap sheet.

How the hell did he hear me?

I didn't scream it and I think there's enough space

between our house and where he's standing.

I don't know and I don't care.

All I'm saying is that was super awkward,

in a super awkward, throat cut in the middle of the night,

sort of way.

I beseech you.

Put on the guise of forward thinking whenever that man

is within earshot.

Now, my palm burns.

I'm sorry.

I didn't think he could hear me.

But, forgive me offending someone with that kind

of transgressive past isn't gonna cause me

to lose any sleep at night.

And, that's not what I care about.

Call him whatever you want on a piece of paper

that'll end up in your angry letter drawer,

but when a human being may be able to audibly pick up

on your negative feelings, I'm just saying be careful.

I don't want him hating us, hating you,

and then acting on some sort of nefarious impulses

he may be harboring.

Now, may I please carve a God damn pumpkin?

Please.

Whoa.

He's alive

He's alive!

All right, be careful, psychopath.

I have created the perfect jack-o'-lantern.

I'm so proud of you.

Hey, I worked hard for this.

Get off your ass and come bask in the glory.

What the hell is that abomination?

What, it's a portrait of my grandpa.

Okay, there are so many things wrong with this.

A, was your grandfather Hitler?

And, B, why would you carve a portrait,

and I use the term portrait very loosely,

into a pumpkin?

I have no idea how you get Hitler from this.

Just look at his mustache, and his Jew-hating eyes.

Those aren't Jew-hating eyes.

Those are kindly old man eyes.

Used to carve pumpkins with my grandfather

when I was a kid.

That is adorable and the perfect way to announce

our anti-Semitism to the neighborhood.

All this work for nothing.

All right, I gotta go ready for my shift.

Okay, but be cool about what lights you turn on.

I don't want anyone stopping by expecting any treats

of any sort.

Yeah, yeah, lame-o.

Shit.

What the fuck?

Jimmy.

What the fuck?

You can have it.

Stop.

Get away from me.

No!

Oh no!

No, don't.

Lights.

Way to listen, husband of mine.

Who is it?

Trick or treat.

Sorry, we don't have any candy.

Maybe next year.

Jesus!

Sorry.

What the hell are you doing out here?

Disappointing children, that's what I'm doing.

Huh?

Somebody knocked on the door.

You left the light on the stairs on.

It doubles as a homing beacon for candy-seeking munchkins.

Well, what did you expect me to do,

stumble blindly up the stairs, trip and fall to my death.

Go back inside, scrubs, it's cold out here.

Why don't you wear a cardigan?

Yeah, a cardigan.

Oh, my Life Alert.

Please don't fail me now.

Look at you.

Hello.

The perfect mate.

Smiley face, smiley face, smiley face.

You missed me, didn't you?

Didn't you?

Trick or treat.

Don't you know, I'm not allowed

to celebrate Halloween anymore?

Not legally.

Ultra totalitarianism at its finest.

Yeah.

Who the hell is it?

Fucking cunt, open the door.

What the fuck.

Open the door, open the door let us in,

let us in, trick or treat.

Trick or treat.

I don't know who the fuck you are,

but when I find you, I'm gonna rip your fucking heart

out of your fucking chest.

Come on.

What the fuck?

Very funny.

I used to pull that fucking shit when I was a kid.

But, the best trick is when you take...

What, what the fuck?

How 'bout a little fire, Scarecrow?

You're a fucking psycho.

You're fucking hilarious.

Now, get the fuck out of my house.

Or, on second thought, maybe stick around

and maybe we can see

what's under this mask.

Bend, bend.

Silly rabbit.

Tricks are for kids.

All right, lock all the doors and windows

and all that jazz.

See, you in the morning.

You look pensive.

I am pensive.

Why are you pensive?

I'm just a little freaked out, Robert.

Why?

I don't know.

I'm going to be home alone, in a new house,

in a new town, on Halloween and you're going to work.

That's why I told you to lock all the doors and windows.

We live next door to a pedophile.

Well, you're no his type, obviously.

Is that funny?

It's a little funny.

It's not funny at all.

Look, nothing is going to happen, okay?

Today you were so mad at me because I opened my mouth

and that nasty guy heard me and now you're saying

everything is gonna be okay.

The hospital's a couple miles away.

I have my phone on me and if there's an emergency,

I can be home in 10 seconds flat.

Fine, but it's not 10 seconds flat.

Fine, it's totally 10 seconds flat.

Fine.

Happy Halloween.

I hate you.

I love you, too.

It's too late, shop's closed.

There is no more candy.

Come back next year.

Little cretins.

What the fuck are you doing in my house?

Get the fuck outta my house.

You poor bastard.

Great night to have your first.

You're telling me.

If I have to pump anymore charcoal tonight,

I swear to God, I'm gonna lose it.

Is there any coffee in this place?

Um, you know, I would check in the break room

where coffee usually lives.

All right.

Yeah, yeah.

What's your name by the way.

Robert.

Macy.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Hey Mom.

Happy Halloween, honey.

Yeah, Happy Halloween.

Where are you?

Your father and I are at a party.

So, you're smashed.

I'm not smashed.

I am your mother.

I most assuredly do not...

You're my mother, so you most assuredly are smashed.

I resent that.

To what do I owe the honor of this telephonic reach out?

Just saying hi and Happy Halloween.

Well, hi and Happy Halloween.

Am I annoying you?

No, no you're not.

You sound distant.

I'm just watching a movie and unpacking.

Oh, yeah?

How is that going?

Fantastic.

Can I call you later?

There's somebody at the door.

Of course there is.

It's Halloween.

I know, but I'm not really celebrating this year.

Can I call you back?

Are you actually gonna call me back?

Yes, bye.

Wow, God.

When I was a kid, I took a hint.

Fuck this.

Who is it?

Trick or treat.

Look, I don't have any candy.

I don't have treats of any kind.

No pennies, no rotten apples, no razor blades, nothing.

Like, come back next year.

Sorry.

Did you not hear me?

Go away.

Hello, you've reached Robert's cell.

Leave a message at the tone or at the beep or whatever.

I'm, this is terrible.

Please leave a message.

Thanks for the effort.

Hi, it's me.

I know it's your first day of work.

I understand that.

But, I'm scared.

If you could just do me a favor and give me a call back

when you get a chance.

One of those calming, there's nothing to be afraid of,

reassuring calls.

I could really use it.

I love you.

You're going crazy, Ella.

You're going crazy.

You're going fucking crazy.

Is that it?

Is that all you got?

Hello.

Who's in here?

Fuck!

Stop it!

Oh fuck!

Fuck!

Who the fuck are you?

Why the fuck are you doing this to me?

Trick or treat.

I can hear you breathing.

Trick or treat.

Your emergency call is now being dialed.

Please stand by.

Clear the area.

Clear the room.

Multiple stab wounds.

Hold on.

Get an IV started.

I gotta call my wife.

Where are you going?

Come on, Ella, pick up.

Come on.

Clear your voicemail.

Hey, what happened?

I'm sorry.

I know that guy.

Yeah, we all know that guy.

He lives across the street from us.

He scared my wife and I just got a message from her

saying she was scared.

Oh, she's scared on Halloween night.

How surprising.

Look, I thought your sarcasm was funny before,

and believe me, I'm the reigning king of sarcasm,

but right now, it's not helping.

Look, did you see the thing around his throat?

What?

The thing that looks like a garage door opener.

Yeah.

It's called Life Alert.

Geriatrics usually wear it.

If they fall and break a hip, they can press a button

that alerts us to come help them.

Sometimes people who get themselves in a lot of trouble

wear them as well.

Like Samuel.

Trying to calm me down?

I'm trying to get you to think rationally.

The law of probability says that, yes, your wife's scared.

She's home alone, but she's not cut up

into a million pieces.

At home, shit like this would happen all the time.

Thought moving here, getting out of L.A.

would make it easier, but...

We lost a child.

We were so happy.

Freshly married, freshly parents.

The most beautiful baby girl you've ever seen.

She wasn't healthy.

We didn't know until one morning she wasn't breathing.

She had passed in the night.

What was her name?

Melissa.

Fuck it.

Can you talk to me for a second?

Are you there?

Oh God damn it.

If you're there can you just knock?

Okay, all right, thank you for that.

What did I do to you?

Why are you doing this?

Can you just answer those two questions, please?

Don't I deserve to know?

Okay.

Well, if I'm going to die here,

which it seems like I'm going to.

You're gonna kill me, both of you.

If that's the case, can you just answer me one question?

Not why you're here or what did I do to you?

But, just another question?

Okay.

How old are you?

How old are both of you?

Five.

Seven.

32.

56.

13.

46.

34.

600.

16.

40.

142.

147.

67.

Two.

101.

Four.

100.

100.

14.

14.

She was our world for that short time.

My wife, Ella, it hit her hard.

I mean, it hit me hard,

but I didn't wanna lose her, too.

You know that happens so often.

You lose a child and then your marriage falls apart.

Better worse, in all honesty, but I couldn't lose her,

I just couldn't.

Losing my daughter destroyed me,

but I had to be strong.

I have to be strong.

My wife, she's a teacher.

She loves kids.

She was so happy when Melissa was born.

And, I mean, it was a hellish labor process too.

But, she seemed to revel in it, you know.

As if she could see with, as if she could see

in her heart what was at the end of the rainbow.

This perfect amalgamation of her and I.

Our child.

I don't know how she does it.

She's got a job at the local middle school.

She's jumping back on the saddle.

I can't imagine what that's like.

Being a mother for so short a time and then

having to be around kids five days a week.

I just don't know.

I like you, Robert.

I'm glad you're here.

And, I hate everyone.

I hate the doctors, the nursing staff.

Actually, I hate the entire town.

Everyone's just so boring.

Yeah, can tell that already.

Go be with your wife.

No, you're right, it's probably nothing.

Go home to your wife.

I'll cover for you.

It's still Halloween.

It's far past Halloween at this point.

Technicalities.

Happy Halloween.

Thank you.

Honey, I'm home.

Ella.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh my God.

Ella!

Where's my wife?

Where's my wife?

Just kill me.

That's what you want, right?

That's why you're doing this,

because I didn't answer the door.

Because I didn't give you a fucking treat.

And, so you kill my husband.

Just kill me.

Wait.

Uh, I fucking hate Halloween.

I told you being a sexy was a stupid idea.

I look ugly and fat.

Nothing good ever happens on Halloween ever.

In fact, mostly bad things happen on Halloween.

I'm so fat, I just wanna eat chocolate.

But, I can't have any chocolate

because then I'll get fatter.

Wait, you don't know what happened here?

Here?

Like here, here?

She doesn't know.

Wait, something happened here.

And I assume whatever the something is,

is something bad.

Something happened here and neither of you

until this moment have felt the need to tell me?

Well, count us as shitty friends then.

But, is Halloween night, so I guess we should tell you now.

That's great, tell her now.

I hate you guys.

I would say stop if you've heard this before,

but we've already established that you haven't,

so I'm just gonna run my mouth.

Run it, run it, run it, run it.

Okay, I get to tell a ghost story.

I am so amped.

It was Halloween night.

What?

Shut up, I'm having fun.

You guys are literally the worst.

Go on, I'll be a good girl.

Thank you cuz.

It was Halloween night.

15 years ago.

Was it?

Doesn't seem like that long ago.

It was forever ago.

Well, the first part was.

The second part was last year.

Guys.

Okay, okay.

It was Halloween night and there was this woman.

She was knocked up to hell and back.

Oh my God, like you!

There are no words for how annoyed I'm getting.

Well, this pregnant bitch...

Why do you have to be so ugly?

Fine, pregnant broad.

Thank you.

This pregnant broad, she was dating

this total piece of shit.

You guys remember my cousin Trish?

Who doesn't know Trish?

Every throbbing cock in town knows Trish.

Yeah, yeah.

Go on.

This Katy dude, my cousin Trish, she knows him.

Well, knew him, for that matter.

He used to frequent Barney's, that piece of shit

along the wall, pseudo dive bar at the.

And, this happened when she sees the dude,

well he knocked her up.

But, this chick, well, he was abusive, total piece of shit.

Verbal meets physical and this grand perfect storm

of fuck you machismo.

Well she gets wise and she leaves the dude.

But, she's already attached to this burgeoning vermin

inside of her.

Like she's so excited.

She always wanted to be a mother.

Forget the sperm sprayer who put the two kids inside of her.

Wait, twins?

You are the worst storyteller ever.

Fuck and you.

What do you mean?

I am a great storyteller.

No you're not.

Spoiler alert, that the kids are twins.

You might as well just tell the audience...

Okay, guys, I'm kinda freaked out by this whole thing.

Apparently something horrible happened in the house

in which I dwell and my two best friends

decided not to tell me until I moved my ass in.

So, if you could finish the rest of the story, please.

They were twins.

Are.

Who's ruining the story now, bitch?

Sorry, go on.

This skeezy dude, he's spurned because she dropped

the mother fucker like a bad habit.

Girl power.

Well, she started dating another buck.

Nice guy.

But, still on the low proverbial end of the higher class.

But, still a nice guy.

Well, this guy, man, he can't take it,

her running around with this new beau

while carrying his kids.

No!

No, sir.

And, one Halloween night.

15 years ago.

He snaps.

And, he stabs her in the belly right here in this kitchen.

Are you fucking kidding me?

He stabbed her seven times.

Six.

It was seven.

I promise you it was six.

I swear to you it was seven.

Google.

Okay, guys, please.

I'm kinda freaked out by this whole thing right now.

I don't care if it was six or seven or 12 or 30 times.

A pregnant woman, pregnant, got stabbed in my kitchen?

Yeah.

Okay, never mind you worthless slags not telling me,

but shouldn't my landlord?

I mean, God, this is something they're supposed to reveal

at some point, right?

Well, yes and no, but it just depends.

That's the end of the story.

She dies.

I bet.

But, the kids didn't.

14 years later, those two girls,

those twins of evil,

those bad apples born out of violence,

they took to the streets,

one Halloween night years ago.

Lord knows why they chose that year.

You're talking about now.

It was the same year as you moved to town, no.

How did I not know about this?

They start going door to door knocking arbitrarily.

No rhyme, no fucking reason.

But, if you weren't celebrating,

if you didn't have your lights on, oh man,

did they have a treat for you.

Technically tricks really.

They killed a pedophile.

You know the one that did the little draws kids

waiting to the area.

Oh, those poor little angels.

Good riddance to the bad rubbish on that guy.

They kill a trailer trash broad.

Some old chick.

But, the really sad one, was this teacher gal's husband.

They kept her alive to deal with

all the pain and the misery.

Yeah, I see, I figured you were aware of this.

This is some really fucked up shit.

Those two brats, they totally cut...

No!

No.

That's the best part.

This is my time.

Fine, go ahead then.

Those two little brats,

they carved into his chest

a fucking jack-o'-lantern.

I have to fucking show you the pictures.

I think it's on run.com.

Really?

I'll look it up.

Google it, bitch.

Guys, I don't wanna hear this anymore.

I know that I said the male entry was the best part.

But, really,

this, this is the best part.

Those two bad bitches, they're still alive.

What?

See, that's the part I don't believe.

What, it's true.

They never found the bodies, I swear.

Okay, ladies, I'm done.

It's time for bed.

We have had a blast.

I need to go to bed.

Have a carrot.

Ow.

Okay,.

It just wasn't.

I'm fine.

And, it was fucking nothing.

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