Original subtitles

Angela.

Angela?

- Long distance. - Operator.

Get me Plaza 36098, in New York City.

Hello.

Dancer? Why didn't you radio it through your channel?

Channel D inoperative.

All right.

Proceed to a direct report.

"D-7.

The bird is on the wing."

Hello?

He...?

Dancer, is that you?

Darling.

- What happened? - Sorry, Angela.

I thought I'd lost them, but they found me.

- Never mind. I'll call the doctor... - There's no way.

The phone is out.

They're outside right now.

It's pitch black outside there. Maybe you can slip across the roof.

Come, I'll show you.

Careful.

Steady. They'll kill us, you know.

I had to. There's no place else to go.

- I didn't want to involve you, but... - Shh.

Let me take a look.

I can't see anything. It's too black. But they can't see us either.

I'm gonna get a coat. We're leaving.

No. No, you stay right here.

- Oh, please, let's not argue about it. - No.

You can't drive in this condition. I have to take you to a doctor. Please.

I'll go first.

Had he made any contact?

He started a message to his chief...

before I had the chance to break the connection.

That could mean a change in plans regarding the boy.

If U.N.C.L.E. should decide to follow up on their man Dancer...

his car should make excellent bait.

Too bad.

So.

"The bird is on the wing."

That's from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, isn't it?

In this instance, I suspect it's also from the epitaph...

of an U.N.C.L.E agent.

Get me a fix, please, on Mr. Dancer's last point of transmission.

Well, gentlemen...

how are your deductive powers this evening? Hmm?

Mr. Kuryakin?

Well, the quote from the Rubaiyat...

the eastern connotation would suggest the boy, Miki.

The boy, who?

Dancer's assignment.

Miki, the boy lama of Shanti. He's been in this country for dental surgery.

Shanti? In the Himalayas?

Well, there's an explosive little neighborhood.

Not so much anymore.

The people have always been divided politically, it's true...

but somehow this boy has unified them religiously.

They believe him to be the reincarnation of their ancient supreme lama.

Really? Well, as long as it keeps them off the streets. Heh.

I suppose.

We've appointed Dancer as the boy's guardian while he's in this country.

I see, but "the bird is on the wing"?

I'm sure Mr. Waverly will correct me if I'm wrong...

but I'll wager the bird in this case is a Thrush.

Tear Shanti apart with civil war and then slither in to pick up the pieces.

And sell, then, to the highest bidder, I know. Good old, merry old Thrush.

Time is short, gentlemen.

The boy, Miki, is scheduled to return to Shanti tomorrow morning.

Obviously, Thrush is moving in to prevent that.

And if they're successful, that boy's life is in mortal danger.

But, sir, we know they've already gotten to Dancer.

Dancer perhaps, but not the boy. Not yet.

D-7, Mr. Kittridge, is one of 10 U.N.C.L.E. drop points...

or hideaways, if you will, here in New York.

So Dancer hid the boy at D-7...

at the B & U Photo Studio on the east side.

Well, I hope so.

And not just the boy.

The boy's traveling with a Shantian guardian...

a potentate named Kaza.

A potentate? Sounds like the Arabian Nights for goodness' sake.

As I was saying, there's the boy, Miki, his guardian, Kaza...

and probably the American nurse...

who's been giving the boy postoperative care.

So we go to D-7 and we bring those people back here to safety.

Yes, that would be appreciated, Mr. Kuryakin.

Oh, by the way, anyone here seen Mr. Solo?

What's that, your timer?

My conscience.

You hair is mussed.

Channel is open.

Subject is rubaiyat affair.

The bird is on the wing and Agent Dancer unaccounted for...

since last interrupted transmission.

Was there a fix on his transmission?

Somewhere in the Easthampton area. Long Island.

Mr. Waverly thinks he may have been taken by Thrush, alive.

If so, U.N.C.L.E. security is jeopardized.

Yeah, I understand. Orders?

Proceed Easthampton area.

Track down Dancer and confirm his status.

Get him back if you can. He mustn't talk.

What you doing?

Oh, I was...

having my dinner.

I'm on my way.

Mr. Kuryakin, Mr. Kittridge...

may I introduce my wonderful nurse, Miss Kelly Brown.

And Kaza, potentate of Shanti and my guardian.

We are all grateful to you, gentlemen.

We're very grateful, my little friend, to find you safe.

Now, if you'll follow Mr. Kittridge and me.

- Now, stay close to me, young man. - A moment, sir, please.

We were in the hands of a Mr. Dancer...

who, very bravely, used himself to decoy our pursuers in another direction.

But forgive me, gentlemen...

can we be sure that you are who you seem?

I'm sure, Kaza.

And I will stay close, Miss Brown.

Good. Well, we have a car waiting in the alley.

And no unnecessary noise, please.

Go ahead! Go on!

No unnecessary noise, Mr. Kuryakin?

Ah. Just caught the fleshy part.

Best kind.

Kittridge here.

Rubaiyat affair appears secure.

Kuryakin should be safely at your point in 15 minutes...

with boy, girl, and ventilated station wagon.

Send an ambulance to D-7. I have an incapacitated potentate.

It's almost time for your pill.

To release one's emotions is quite therapeutic, Miss Brown.

Therapeutic? Just how old are you, my little friend?

I am 10, sir, in my present reincarnation.

There's something wrong.

That truck behind us. Somehow, they're controlling our car.

Ignition. Breaks. Nothing.

This is Solo.

I've located Dancer's car.

Now, there are traces of blood in the inside and not a trace of anything outside.

Obviously, it was ditched here after the main event.

And Dancer?

Well, I don't know yet.

Whatever shape he's in, he's not in it around here.

I'll continue on the road as far as I... - Negative.

We have an emergency-four situation on rubaiyat.

Illya didn't bring home the bacon on schedule...

and the monitor can't trace his vehicle.

You're to return immediately.

All right, I'm on my way.

My name is Napoleon Solo. I hope you don't mind filters.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Light me, please.

What are you smiling at?

You.

Don't shoot me. It would take all the fun out of the evening.

If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it.

Hmm. We were driving then, you would've gotten hurt.

Now we're standing still.

Oh.

Now, where would I be carrying a weapon?

It could be done.

If you have any doubts, you better search me.

Well, am I hiding anything?

No, I can't honestly say that you are. Which brings me to the question:

What is a nice girl like you doing in a place like that?

Dancer wants to see you.

- Oh? - I know. You thought he was dead.

He has been wounded and he needs your help to get away.

How did he know I was here?

The receiver on his pocket radio is still working.

He can hear, but he can't send.

He has been listening to all your calls.

Where is he?

On the move. He hasn't dared to stop. But he'll meet us at my place.

I know what you're thinking. That I could be one of them.

But I tell you, he needs you. Desperately.

You can believe me or not.

Well...

I'll have to find out, won't I?

Oh. What am I doing here, anyway?

I wish I was in a cocktail dress somewhere with my boyfriend.

Who I don't think is my boyfriend anymore because of this darn uniform.

He said he wanted me warm and dancing and feminine.

Not antiseptically clean.

They did not instruct me of such things at the lamasery.

For men, there is no instruction in these things.

Well, wherever we were going, I think we're there.

Store this furniture in the basement.

We should have all the loose ends wrapped up...

in about one U.N.C.L.E. agent from now.

Oh.

You move beautifully.

If this were a trap, you would certainly be able to kill me...

before you went down.

No question about it.

- You live all the way out here all alone? - On and off.

May I?

That was terribly rude.

Sorry. Where is Dancer?

Oh, he said that we are to meet him here at midnight.

We are much too early.

May I come along?

I tell you, sitting alone in the gloom makes me a little nervous.

I would have never thought it.

It's that way.

After you.

You know, I've often felt that I was born several centuries too late.

I've always admired those cavaliers...

who used to go slashing their way down the corridors.

Are you always this suspicious or is it me?

Well, I have a nervous grandmother back home in Topeka, Kansas.

I'm afraid I've inherited some of her genes.

- Oh, are you from Kansas? - Of course. Isn't everybody?

Who goes in first this time?

Who do you want to go in first?

- You. - Of course.

I tell you, old Granny, she was really unbelievable.

She used to make everybody so uncomfortable.

She was always stalking around and peering into corners.

Locking doors, make sure that no one would steal in behind her.

And would you believe it? Every night, before Granny went to sleep...

she used to slash away underneath the bed with a poker...

looking for prowlers.

Was she ever lucky enough to find one?

No. No, that was Granny's constant frustration.

But she never quit looking.

And I imagine that every time she entered the room...

she would look through the closet just to make sure nobody was hiding there.

Of course not. Why would she do a crazy thing like that?

This is quite a wardrobe you have here.

I want you to feel free to change into something comfortable...

while we wait for Dancer.

I shall retreat to the other room discreetly.

Now, what would you like me to change into?

Anything but a boy.

How long is this nonsense going on?

Only until my superior in this operation communicates his desires.

U.N.C.L.E.'s meddling in this affair may well force us to be less subtle...

than was originally planned.

I'm sorry.

This boy is in pain.

Can he have some aspirin, please?

Not right now, young lady.

Not right now? Well, when? He just had surgery.

Look, all I want is some aspirin for goodness' sakes, not a hacksaw.

Is it bad?

You'd better act civilized.

No. But it seems to me Miss Brown...

needs something to occupy her mind.

Some aspirin.

Are you sure you've never been married?

Some good work here. Yours?

I manage to make a living at it.

Someday, I will have to make a study of you.

Color me sleepy.

Dancer is taking his time getting here.

Yes, and isn't that lovely of him?

Perhaps he's having trouble finding the place.

Oh, I doubt it. Why should he?

Well, when we were driving, you said Dancer had never been here before.

I gave him very specific directions. He'll have no trouble.

- No trouble? - No.

I don't miss him right now, do you?

Well, I tell you, I don't have many virtues...

but patience doesn't rank at all.

I don't like to be kept waiting.

You sound so cold now.

Well, as you said when I came in the house, I'm a rude man.

You don't have to wait any longer. There is Dancer.

Why doesn't he come in?

Because he doesn't know for sure that you are here.

Call to him.

You call to him.

But he wants you. I told you.

He will not come in unless he knows that you are here.

Well, you tell him I'm here.

No. I told you, he will not come unless you call him.

Angela, open the door.

Anything wrong?

Last interrupted transmission.

Alive. Canvass area.

Can't confirm his status.

Very well, keep me apprised.

No word on Illya?

No, nor on the two young people with him.

At least we know the boy's guardian, Kaza, is safe.

Mr. Kittridge, here, deposited him in a hospital.

Under guard, of course.

His wound serious?

No. Best kind. Fleshy part of the shoulder. He'll be out in the morning, I expect.

We picked up the man and the woman you left wounded at that house.

They're both unconscious. Can't tell us anything.

So, gentlemen, the puzzle remains.

How is it that Thrush was waiting for you at D-7?

Devil only knows, but they certainly were waiting, weren't they?

Well, from what you've told me...

only three people outside of ourselves knew the location of D-7...

and that the boy was there.

Three? Wait a minute, of course. The three subjects.

The boy, Miki, the little nurse...

Oh, no, not that sweet young thing. And Kaza.

I suppose it could be Kaza.

Well, we've got him as a captive audience. What have we got to lose?

Thrush? I don't know what the word portends, I'm afraid.

But I do not appreciate your tone, Mr. Solo.

And we, Kaza, do not appreciate what Thrush portends.

An underground army of criminal minds dominating the world...

is a somewhat less-than-attractive prospect.

I'm a minister of the Shantian cabinet. The boy's appointed guardian.

And therefore a dangerously effective Thrush weapon.

Until now, of course.

You are offensive, sir.

I think you'd better check with your people on that.

Angie just said I was definitely not offensive.

- Angela? - A great waste of time, Kaza.

Your associate, the Angela person...

was quite vocal about you.

We've got her, of course.

You're absurd.

You lose the boy lama...

and you strike at me to rationalize your own ineptitude.

Angela indeed.

Angela indeed.

And a 10-year-old boy, and his nurse, and a very good friend of mine.

You're mad.

Better than that, I'm furious.

Now, let's get down to cases, shall we?

That was quite good. Thank you.

Yes, that was good. Thank you.

Okay, funny man, where is the spoon?

Hmm?

You're gonna dig your way out with a spoon.

That's very clever.

That was very good too. And no one is really hurt.

Thank you.

Oh, my purse.

Hold it.

Come. Slowly.

Keep low and use the trees for cover.

- But you and Miss... - Go.

Just run and get away from here.

All right, you two, the upstairs is guarded. Come on down.

You've got five seconds, my friends. Bring the boy down.

Give me the gun.

On the floor.

Call the boy.

Boy!

Boy, come on down or I'll kill your friends.

You are my friends.

All right. Back inside. Move.

Friends? You have no friends. You are responsible for an entire country.

Aah.

I have nothing to tell you. Nothing.

We'll do it the hard way, then. With the interrogation people.

Aah.

A mistake, Mr. Solo.

A deadly mistake.

What was that?

Ooh.

That blank ammunition smarts.

Well, he took his time about grabbing the bait, didn't he?

Yeah. NURSE: Help!

Orderly. Help! Room 304. Come quick.

- Ahh... - Uhn!

Well, that was graceful enough.

What about the homing device?

It's in the clip in my gun. Where Kaza goes, we follow.

Kaza will be grabbing the car any moment now.

Get cracking. Your assault force is waiting.

Hi there.

Nice work, Harry.

- How are we doing? - Shh.

No, we're still not gaining on him.

He's really romping along.

He's a ruddy leadfoot, this one is.

We'll get where he's going...

but I won't comment on the time lapse between us.

Kaza, are you all right?

Well, I'm glad you're here. I didn't know what to do.

Meaning what?

You haven't killed them.

I tell you, I didn't know what to do. I...

I figured that they should be killed, but, well, your orders...

Where is your initiative, man?

Don't you realize U.N.C.L.E. will move heaven and earth to get that boy back?

Or at least try to keep him off that plane in the morning.

We have to kill him now.

Yes, I assumed that...

but, well, you had mentioned the danger of making a martyr out of the boy.

You fool.

Prepare the lion pits in the backyard.

Yes, now.

What you said about my not having friends...

that cannot be a good way to live.

It's the way a leader lives and works and survives.

You are a leader...

yet you were angry...

when I did not let you sacrifice yourself for me.

Well, that was my duty, not friendship.

So now you teach me still another thing tonight.

The fiercest part of a warrior must be his devotion to his cause.

On your feet.

Kaza.

So, my little friend, now you learn even more of the ways of men.

Everybody out. Now.

Please do not be too afraid.

Hold it. Hold it.

The boys will be busy for a while clearing up the sentries out front. Look out!

No. Kill the boy first.

It's just the fleshy part. It's the best kind.

Thanks.

Run. Do it this time.

Not him. Get them first.

Wait.

Are those two not already finished?

You know their faces.

Their own organization will know they failed.

Mmm.

Surely they could not be running to any sort of freedom.

Ten years old?

I don't believe it either.

Words are not adequate, Mr. Solo.

Well, none are necessary, Miki. You're quite a young man.

- Good luck to you. - Thank you.

You... You didn't take your pill.

Miss Brown, your personal fear fell away...

before your professional concern for me, your patient.

That is a God-given gift of dedication, Miss Brown.

It makes the uniform a very pretty thing.

Excuse me.

It's such a heavy burden. He's so small. Poor little boy.

Poor little boy? Are you kidding? That kid's older than I am.

And as for his burden, he'll carry it like the mature man he is.

You did not fail me?

I did not fail you.