Original subtitles

Ow!

Aah! Oof!

Aah! Arggh!

- Aah! - Oh, don't make such a fuss.

What's this? An exercise in masochism, Mr. Solo?

No, no. I'm just catering to Sarah's sadism. She thinks it's good for me.

How's the leg coming along?

Well, it's mending faster than my dignity.

Good. I, uh...

I was about to ask a personal favor.

A distant cousin of mine seems to be in trouble.

Oh?

Someone stuck this through the jacket of his polka-dot pajamas last night.

Well, I hope he wasn't in it when they did.

I have a personal reason for wanting to help him.

So I... Heh. I volunteered us.

Looks to me like a sort of warning, wouldn't you say?

Yes, I'd say. It's rather unsubtle, but...

I, uh... I'd like to do him a favor.

Get him off my back so to speak.

Oh?

Yeah, he, uh...

He was once a party to a slight indiscretion of mine.

Young girl, very pretty. Oh, a long time ago, of course.

They can lead a man into all sorts of trouble, can't they?

Well, boys will be boys.

One small indiscretion and he never lets me forget it.

Oh, ho.

Illya? We're in need of your special talents. Are you free?

No man is free who has to work for a living, but I'm available.

All right, so join the party.

This is a Gypsy dagger, and Gypsies are one of Illya's specialties.

So they got to you at last. Who was it? The Mafia? Thrush? The narcotics mob?

He, uh, tripped over the office cat and sprained his knee.

Uh, Mr. Waverly has a cousin who wears polka-dot pajamas.

Well, we all have our weaknesses.

And last night, uh, someone thrust this through them...

and I thought that might intrigue you.

Hope you don't mind.

It, uh...

It's a personal matter.

On the contrary, this is a ceremonial dagger...

which my fascinating friends, the Gypsies, sometimes use, and I'll be delighted.

In that case, my cousin's name is Lester Baldwin.

Carefree, happy-go-lucky sort of fellow.

Family weakness, you know?

A bit inclined that way myself.

He's a handsome man.

Much too handsome for his own good, really.

There is a cloud drifting across the face of the moon.

I see the shadow of evil over the house like a shroud.

I see a stubborn man...

over whom a sword is hanging...

a sharply pointed sword, embossed in gold with rubies in its hilt.

Sounds valuable. Grab a hold of it. Ha-ha-ha.

I see the man cry out in fear.

I see him turn and run.

And there is no place to run to.

And it is dark and the doors are all closed.

And I see the fear in his eyes, and the man is afraid.

And there is no one to talk to. All the doors are locked.

Don't make a sound.

- My name is Illya Kuryakin. - I hear his screams.

I'll bet you're the only man around here who can make that statement honestly.

- So I believe. Mr. Baldwin? - No. He's my uncle.

You can't just stand there. Why don't you come in?

- But shh. WOMAN: The moon and the stars are gone.

- And there is only darkness. - Do you believe in Gypsies?

No, of course not. They're just a figment of the imagination.

That's what I thought. Shh.

Soft footsteps.

- Gentle footsteps. - Creepy, isn't it?

- Deadly footsteps. - Creepy-crawly.

A man who tries to drive away with laughter.

The fear that follows like a wolf in the night.

A wolf with eyes like burning embers.

And I see death in this house tonight.

She puts on a good act. Ha, ha.

I will show you.

Oh, let's have some light in here.

May I see that?

Well, I'll be...

Say, that's a pretty clever trick.

Well, I... I think we've had enough. Let's have a drink.

A drink may drive away the fear, Mr. Baldwin.

It will not drive away the cause of it.

Uh... I'll remember that.

- And this is...? - Illya Kuryakin, the man from cousin.

Oh, yes, of course, a pleasure. Mr. Kuryakin, you know anybody?

- No, not really. BALDWIN: Oh, well, don't worry about it.

Alice, my dear, give Mr. Kuryakin a glass of champagne.

We'll talk soon.

First Gypsy I've seen wearing a Paris original.

We don't all live in caravans, Mr. Kuryakin.

No, of course not, Madam...?

Oh, uh, Delilah Dovro, Illya Kuryakin.

Alice, show Miss Dovro my Hispano-Moresque mirror case.

- A 5th century piece. You'll love it. - This way.

Cousin Alexander doesn't waste much time, does he?

Hoping to find something on me. Looking for a skeleton in my closet.

Death in the house tonight.

Well, just for a moment...

I thought there was something rather menacing about her.

The old superstitions die hard, don't they? Ha, ha.

One of the best collections outside the British Museum.

That's admirable.

But someone entered your house last night. He didn't take any of these?

No, no, but he left me something instead.

So I heard. In the polka-dot pajamas.

And you have some very valuable pieces here.

- No burglar alarm? - Oh, I only set it when I go to bed.

This is what he was after, I fancy. Whoever he is.

A quarter of a million dollars’ worth of stock in Andram Consolidated.

A week or two ago, I was offered $10,000 for them...

by a man named Andre Delgrovia.

- Naturally enough, I refused. - Delgrovia is a Gypsy name.

- Is that what he is? - I don't know. I've never met him.

Just a voice on the phone.

Told me those shares would bring me all kinds of trouble.

Since then, a threat on the telephone every night.

When I went to bed last night, there was this dagger.

- I tell you, it gave me quite a shock. - It's a very special ceremonial dagger.

They send it to someone who has mortally offended their tribe.

It's meant to warn him of...

- Something quite unpleasant. - Oh, but I don't scare so easily.

I always worry about people who aren't scared when they ought to be.

Channel D, please. I want a rundown on Andre Delgrovia.

All we know about him is that he's interested in Andram Consolidated...

and I'm sure that will be a great deal of help.

Oh, and I'm staying at Mr. Baldwin's tonight.

Bodyguard.

But I don't need a bodyguard, Mr. Kuryakin. I already have one.

Sit.

Best bodyguard you ever saw.

Raised him from a pup and trained him myself.

You know, one word from me and he'd tear you to pieces.

Nonetheless, I think I'll stay.

At least until we estimate what kind of danger Delgrovia represents.

Who is Delilah Dovro?

Oh, a stranger. Drifted in out of the blue this evening.

Brought me an ivory. A very interesting Pi-Tung brush holder.

I couldn't resist asking her to stay.

I've always had a weakness for beautiful women. Ha, ha.

I hear it runs in the family.

- Your guests are all leaving. - Oh, one of them is staying.

Nice.

Windows locked. No one under the bed.

- The dog sleeps here? - Oh, invariably.

There's no one in the house except us, your niece and...?

Just the housekeeper. All the others were from the caterers.

- The burglar alarm? - Waiting to show you.

You see how I read your mind?

What an alarming thought.

Lock the door. The alarm will ring twice, testing.

Remind me to commend you to my cousin, Alexander...

for great devotion to duty.

It's almost my only weakness.

If there were someone in the garden, just how good is that dog?

Oh, the best. He'd be barking his head off.

Don't worry, Illya.

With a dog like that in his room, there's not the slightest danger.

That's always the time to be most careful.

You'd better lock your door too.

I will. I scare more easily than my uncle.

I'll be close by.

I'm sure you'll be more comfortable in the guest room.

No. I'll be, um, prowling around the house.

- Well, I won't sleep thinking about you. - That's nice, but unnecessary. Good night.

Illya? If you should, uh, want anything...

- Everything I want, I have. - I hate people who are so well adjusted.

Well, see you in the morning.

Give me your paw. Give me your paw. Come on, give me your paw.

No, no, no, not the whole thing. Just the paw.

I guess he only speaks Spanish.

Well, that's it.

There's just no trace of a woman called Delilah Dovro anywhere.

With a name like that, I'm not surprised.

This report of Mr. Kuryakin's is a lot of balderdash.

- That dog must be rabid. - Take it.

Hold it. Give it to me.

Kuryakin should have shot him with lead...

not with sleep-inducing darts.

Well, the medical report says it isn't. - Impossible.

And the Gypsy woman? She said, "A death in the house.

A fear that follows him in the night like a wolf.

A wolf with eyes like burning embers."

It's a rather poetic phrase, don't you think?

Coincidence, pure coincidence.

With all due respect to you, sir...

I believe one of the first things you taught me was never to trust coincidence.

Yes, I did, didn't I?

But a human skull not more than an inch across?

There's no such thing.

No. Another thing you taught me that there was no such thing as no such thing.

And I wish you wouldn't try to confound me with my own intelligence, Mr. Solo.

- Where have you been, Mr. Kuryakin? - The County Museum, where else?

Are you trying, rather obtusely, to tell us something?

Well, any conjurer can make these things appear and disappear at will.

Perhaps with practice, I could do the same.

There is no doubt, you would also palm a tiny human skull.

Well, you missed your vocation, Mr. Kuryakin.

You should have been...

- Well, God bless my soul. What is that? - The skull of a particular bird.

You break off the beak...

and you have a subminiature human skull.

And for your information, it's a Gypsy trick as old as the hills.

So Delilah Dovro went there prepared for...? For what?

To scare Lester into selling his Andram stock...

for a fraction of its worth?

Well, let's see what we've got.

Ow.

Andram Industries...

engaged in mining of beryllium and the manufacture of heavy hydrogens...

was merged with Natryllic Chemicals, Incorporated...

which it now controls.

A power play appears to be taking place for exclusive control of Andram stocks.

Oh, that isn't going to help us. We all know the stakes are very high.

Andre Delgrovia, origin unknown, age unknown, address unknown.

Well, that's a lot of help too.

Believed to hold 39 percent of the stock in Andram Consolidated.

Including a hundred thousand dollars worth of shares...

that he bought from Mrs. Clothilde Willard.

I only paid $5000 for them.

That's not costing very much to get rich, is it?

Gypsies are tired of caravans. - Yeah.

- The answer to your inquiry. - Oh.

Ah. Mrs. Clothilde Willard is in the Merriweather Hospital...

on the critical list, suffering from very severe dog bites.

- Ah. Good. - Really? You think so?

It establishes a pattern.

Like Sherlock Homes, I like patterns.

Check out all the cases of dogs biting men in the last, what? Six months?

Okay, go to work.

One thing disturbs me.

Is Alice Baldwin the owner of the shares for which they killed her uncle?

- Yes, she is, but don't fret about it. - But I do fret.

- Well, don't. I'm taking care of it. - With a sprained knee?

Well, only one extremity is out of order. The other one is working overtime.

Well, that must be quite a strain for you. I'll bring you back some vitamin pills.

Will you get away from me, you mad dog?

He can't help it, sir. It's your cousin's dog, you know?

He fancies your breed.

Yes, a perfectly harmless little Chihuahua, most affectionate.

And for no reason at all, she leaped at my throat and tore me to pieces.

To pieces, young man.

And the scars, they're absolutely going to ruin my SA.

And the shares? Your Andrams?

Oh, I sold them, of course, at a ridiculous price...

to Andre Delgrovia, through my brokers.

And this terrible man called on the phone...

and said if I didn't sell, then something dreadful would happen to me.

Poopsie's extraordinary behavior...

was quite obviously motivated by my refusal to sell my stocks.

Oh, just look at it. Eggs. Soft-boiled.

- I'm sure they're very good for you. - Oh, everything dull always is.

Would you be the kind of man that might carry a flask of something with you?

Oh.

May I send you some flowers?

Well, how very charming of you.

Slip a little fifth in the box, would you? Gin, preferably.

Oh, your coat? The intern took it. He's so abominably tidy.

What goes well with gin?

Uh, orchids?

You take care of yourself.

Young man? Are you married?

- Had I but world enough and time. - Oh, good.

Was attacked in the park by a savage dog...

which bit him severely about the throat and face.

The police are cooperating with the Humane Society.

A man named Corbin Maddock.

He used to own 1100 shares of Andram stock.

Now he's in the hospital and owns none.

Three other cases, all shareholders, badly bitten...

giving up their stocks at ridiculous prices.

The old protection racket with a new twist.

And the dog can't give evidence.

- Mrs. Willard? - The same story.

And someone stole my raincoat.

There's only one reason why anyone should steal my raincoat.

What?

"The sale is announced of the entire list of Baldwin stock of shares...

in Andram Consolidated Industries to Mr. Illya Kuryakin"?

Oh, yes. Yeah, that was an idea of Mr. Solo's.

Surprised he didn't mention it.

- I'll have his teeth for cuff links. - Oh, I wouldn't take it so badly.

He saw how upset you were about Alice.

And quite proper too.

- Shows a nice spirit. - Well, of...

It you're going out anywhere, watch out for stray dogs.

An easy way to teach a man to mind his own business, isn't it?

All right, I'll take over.

- I thought you'd forgotten all about me. - I had to send a lady some flowers.

Like, I know, it's a hopeless question, but do we still have a Pi-Tung brush holder?

Oh, sure. It's over here someplace.

- Delivered by a dark and lovely Gypsy. - Oh, that.

- Well, that's funny. - Gone?

It was here yesterday.

Mm. Somehow I didn't think Delilah would leave it here.

Oh, well.

- Oh, that's a pepper-pot, cayenne pepper. - Oh. So I discover.

Are you going to bodyguard me?

Uh, should I say, uh, guard my body? Yes, I should say that?

Yes, I am.

Let's hope I make a better job of it this time than I did the last.

Oh, but that's not your fault.

If he'd asked for help when all this first started. I told him...

Hello?

Who?

Andre Delgrovia?

Yes, I know who you are.

Uh...

No, I... I don't want to sell my stocks, Mr. Delgrovia.

As a matter of fact, I... I can't.

I don't think I understand what you're trying to tell me, Miss Baldwin.

I said that I can't sell them to you. I'm sorry.

I'm afraid it's too late to be sorry, Miss Baldwin.

- Already too late. - I... I sold them.

- You did what? - This morning, to a Mr. Kuryakin.

I believe my messenger is already there to convince you.

Well, don't just stand there. Your gun.

No.

If I make a move for my gun, they'll attack, that's the way they're trained.

I'd never get both of them anyway.

Move.

And when I throw the pepper, you make for the door.

I'll draw them off.

Somehow I have the strangest feeling those dogs know me personally.

- A man's best friend. Where to now? - Upwind, that's where to.

Channel D, please.

License number 5 Juliet 1851.

I'll wait here for your reply.

You see? It works on people too.

- You are people, aren't you? - In a vague sort of way, I am.

So kiss me.

Well, certainly, if you insist.

I, uh, think it's trying to tell us something.

Ooh. Fast, isn't it?

Illya?

That license plate is a phony. There's no such number.

See if you can do something for me, will you?

I want you to find me a dog man, an expert, the best you can find.

Out.

I'm afraid you'll have to stick by me until further notice.

Certainly. If you insist.

And it's time to go.

These are nice dogs, beautiful dogs.

I think perhaps one is older than the other one.

I think, perhaps also, one is the father of the son.

Both very nice dogs.

With nice white fangs a couple of inches long.

Maybe, but what we really want to know...

Signore, I will tell you everything, absolutely everything, eh?

Only ci vuole la pazienza. Patience please.

Now, good. Very good.

Maybe we could trace them, if it's not asking too much?

Okay, let me see the pictures of the head.

It's no difficulty tracing these dogs. This dog, the oldest dog.

His ear has been cropped in Europe because this is not American cropping.

The young dog.

His ear has been cropped this country because this is not European.

That means simply that the old dog was brought here...

and the young dog, he was born here. You follow me?

- I'm way ahead of you. - Well, slow down because I continue.

Signorina, let me see your legs.

Oh.

Here, here, here.

Let me. Well, let's make some room here.

Here.

Now, and the legs of a dog this size...

Look at those legs. Beautiful.

You notice the pastoia? The...?

- Pastern. - The pasterns, right.

You see that pastern? Very, very thick, like the Junker Slenz.

The Junker... You don't know anything about dogs at all, right?

Well, let me explain to you.

There are basically 29 great families of Dobermans.

All divided three main groups.

There is Sighart Thüringen, Roland von Grammont.

The other one is the Junker Slenz of Thüringen.

Now, I think your dogs are the same as the...

Are the same as the Junker Slenz, because they have the same characteristics.

The same pastoia, the same angulated hock. You see that? Hm?

What I mean by all this is this: I think

that these dogs are father and son, I think.

Let me see that picture, Miss America, please.

Ah. Just look at that. That's beautiful. Breathtaking.

Do you see that profile and the muzzle? Offset, wee bit, a little bit, the muzzle.

Believe me, the muzzle is offset a little bit. A little bit too much.

I think like the family Klosterberg.

If you look at the throat, you can see this.

It's set back a little bit, wee bit. This is the family Grammont.

Now you know what I'm talking about, eh? You don't know what I'm talking about.

What I'm talking about is that all we have to do...

is to find somebody who bred a Grammont Klosterberg...

about two years ago.

And because I think the youngest dog, who's about 2, 2 and a half years old.

But what if the breeding were not recorded?

What the...? Signore, do you think these dogs marry with anybody?

No, signore, no.

These dogs marry when and where and with whom they are told.

Tough on them, isn't it?

They don't seem to complain too much, signorina.

Now then. We are looking for a Grammont Klosterberg pup...

born to this country a few years ago.

So that's where you hide, eh, Dino?

Hm. You don't like your shots, huh?

A Grammont Klosterberg pup imported a few years ago.

1961, '62, '63 should be not too difficult.

You have the names of the importers too?

Oh, yes, of course. 1961, we have Abelson.

1961, again, Brentwich. 1962, Delgrovia.

- That's the one. - You like that one?

Okay, '62, that's a Grammont pup by the name of Sighart von Klosterberg...

the son of Otto von Blenkenburg, who was bred in 1962...

with the Klosterberg champion, Ella von Tyras.

- And the owner? - The owner.

Well, the owner here is Delilah von Dovro. Uh, Delilah Dovro.

- And do you have the addresses also? - Yes, I have the addresses.

Let me see.

Delgrovia, no address. Dovro, Havelock Bay, Long Island.

- All this from a photograph of a dog? - All that from here, signorina.

Signore Panzini?

How would you make a dog attack its master?

- A well-trained dog? - An injection of Sentriciapin.

This makes a dog irritable, makes a dog nervous...

just like people, but not reliable.

No, rule that out. This works every single time.

Then it's impossible.

We are dealing, in this case, with Gypsies.

Gypsies? Well, Gypsies, that's different.

Do you agree they have an uncanny power over animals?

Well, no dog ever attack a Gypsy. It's...

Gypsy just have to look at a dog, then that dog does strange things.

Strange people, strange powers.

I don't know. It's kind of...

A Gypsy can do anything he wants with animal.

Signore Panzini, how do you throw a dog off a scent?

Well, you could use oil of Anidol.

That they follow like crazy. Actually, anywhere.

And if I mix Anidol and Sentriciapin together?

Well, I don't know what you're trying to do,

but now you have a pretty hysterical dog.

Here, let me help you.

- It's all clear now. - Thank you, sir.

It's a dog's life, isn't it?

What is that address you gave me where the dog fancier lives?

- Havelock Bay? - Long Island.

Caro mio, I think...

I think you better come inside with me, huh?

I teach you a few tricks about dogs. It's a good idea, maybe, no?

I think it's a good idea, maybe yes.

Just a mile, Napoleon. We have to walk from here.

- Corbin Maddock? - His shares are now registered to us.

So is the stock from France, so are Mrs. Willard's holdings.

- Making in all? - Forty-eight percent.

In order to have a controlling interest, we must have the Lester Baldwin block.

I knew there'd be an easy way.

Shall we try this?

Good.

Down. You go away.

Nice, Rover. MAN: Down.

- You butcher. You... - Come on.

- You... You cut-throat. - They want you in there.

It's not exactly French perfume.

But if Signore Panzini is right...

I hope you can run as fast as he says you can.

Oh, rat.

Think.

Yellow.

The color of death.

Your signature, signing your Andram shares over to me.

If you don't, the yellow roses.

Yellow roses. Passwords. Knock twice and ask for Silvio. Baloney.

Call in the dogs.

- She needs to be taught a lesson. - Wait.

What are they barking for?

Put on the lights.

Open up the kennels.

Napoleon.

Now is the time for you to earn your keep.

Corbin Maddock, his throat ripped open...

now undergoing plastic surgery.

Mrs. Clothilde Willard, in hospital.

In France, a large block of shares has just come to us with the help of a Pekinese.

They have very sharp teeth. Did you know that?

Shall I go on?

Why don't you just fold your tents and steal silently away?

That was the Arabs, not the Gypsies.

All right.

All right, Delgrovia. I'll take your guest off your hands.

- Just everybody keep still. - Nobody move.

It's a nice night for a walk. Shall we go?

The doors are locked.

In our country, Mr. Kuryakin, the women are the best fighters.

Would you use bullets on a woman?

I think not.

Not bullets, but darts tipped with a paralyzing poison.

I'm told it's quite painful.

You might have a hard time trying to convince the dogs of that.

The dogs are out chasing a fox. - Not all of them.

Look behind you.

Well, really?

This time you might try putting salt on their tails.

This time, don't argue.

Well, come on.

Come on, this way.

Here, your shoes.

Up the tree.

I'm terribly sorry.

Oh, Illya!

Let's hope Signore Panzini's mixture makes dogs hysterical.

Well, we got away, didn't we?

- Not yet, we didn't. - Oh, no.

Oh, Illya.

Lovely night, isn't it?

Full of surprises, anyway.

You all right, my dear?

Well, rather surprisingly, yes, thank you.

Dr. Panzini tells me you're planning to tackle this little lot with...

What was it? Sentriciapin or something?

- I thought you might want some help. - I had help.

A wily fox name Napoleon.

Oh.

Did you...? Did you perchance find Andre Delgrovia?

Yes, indeed. They're in there. So is the rest of them.

They're probably ready for trouble by now.

Oh.

Well, I believe I'll go in and show them what trouble really is. Shall we?

Oh, not you, Mr. Kuryakin. I'd rather you took Alice home for me.

She's up much too late. Take care of her and thank you.

He likes to feel young once in a while.

Somewhere there's a memory stirring.

Well. Let's just not wait for memories. Hm?

Good evening.

You two lovebirds look rather like drowned ducks.

- Can I give you a lift? - It's a nice night for a long walk home.

If you're going to make a fool of yourself...

it might as well be over a good-looking woman.

Home, James.