Original subtitles

In New York City...

on a street in the East Forties, there's an ordinary tailor shop.

Or is it ordinary?

We entered through the agents' entrance and we are now in U.N.C.L.E. headquarters.

That's the United Network Command for Law and Enforcement.

U.N.C.L.E. is an organization consisting of agents of all nationalities.

It's involved in maintaining political and legal order anywhere in the world.

My name is Napoleon Solo.

I'm an enforcement agent in Section Two here.

That's Operations and Enforcement.

I am Illya Kuryakin. I am also an enforcement agent.

Like my friend Napoleon, I go and I do whatever I am told to by our chief.

Huh? Oh, yes. Alexander Waverly.

Number One in Section One.

In charge of this, our New York headquarters.

It's from here that I send these young men on their various missions.

Hello, are you there? Yes, of course you are.

Well, so far, so good.

I'm climbing the peak now. It's still a long way from the house.

If they are who we really think they are, we're in business.

There's a helicopter flying around. Doesn't seem like much of a menace.

Spoke too soon. They're coming back.

Can't see who's on board.

I'm in trouble. They're coming at me.

- Want to go back and pick up a few things? - No.

Then we'd better head straight back to Boridqua.

It's a pity.

It was a nice house. We could have waited very happily there.

There'll be other houses.

And there'll be others just like him, one step behind us.

Yes, this is the old Biella, all right.

It's now called the Hagerel.

A nice name, and it's a marvel what a can of paint and a good carpenter can do.

This is where he first got on their trail.

It's about 1 1 miles from a fabulous resort known as Boridqua.

One of the many places we investigated within a 30-mile radius of the yacht.

Boridqua itself...

is about as far from the rest of the world as you could want...

and the house is even harder to get to. Quite inaccessible.

Let's jump to the end of the tape.

He was a good man, a bit too sure of himself.

Reminds me of you in some ways.

Spoke too soon. They're coming back.

I'm in trouble. They've seen me. They're coming at me.

Well...

there it is.

They found his body on a mountain ledge.

The house was deserted. They didn't even pick up their clothes.

Now, how far could the yacht get before his report was followed up?

Precisely the point.

In open water, they'd have been seen.

Well, there must be a thousand inlets and coves and harbors...

along that stretch of coast.

Yes. And that yacht has gone aground in one of them.

Now, the problem is, how to get them to come out.

I'm not looking for a problem, Mr. Solo, I'm looking for a solution.

Well, they know me. If I were to show up in the area...

they'd try and kill me.

- Would that help anything? - Only Mr. Kuryakin...

who is next in line for promotion.

What have we got that they may want?

Anything that they can take home?

Just to show you where their home is, of course.

As a matter a fact, we do have something along those lines.

Something they'd recognize and undoubtedly try to pick up.

I guess they could use it as bait to trap me.

- What is this object? - Not a "what," sir.

Rather, a "who."

And Mr. Kuryakin will have to use all of his persuasive powers...

to get her for us.

That's a lot of oil.

Excuse me.

- Well, can I come in, or can't I? - Illya.

A perfect picture of domesticity. Again, may I come in?

After all this time, what am I going to say to you?

- Try "hello." - Hello.

I brought you a present.

The Biella.

But it's burnt. What happened to it?

Gervaise Ravel, who masterminded an attempt to conquer half Europe...

and Harold Bufferton, who financed it.

They disappeared in the yacht, Biella.

We searched, we found wreckage in the Caribbean.

- This is part of it. - So they're dead.

I've had nightmares about those two. For a long time...

every night, I was frightened they'd pop up out of the darkness.

There's been a guard on you ever since.

- Marion. Marion, where's the gin? - In the milk bottle.

- It's hard to believe they're dead. - They're not. Excuse me.

They faked the shipwreck for us.

They're very much alive again and waiting to start again if we give up.

- Only we have no intention of giving up. - Then why do you...?

Now, wait. You can't be trying to get me involved with them again.

Well, not really. We just had a passing thought.

Well, let that thought pass, buster. You just let it pass.

If you think... If you really think that after all the things I had to...

That I... I nearly got killed.

- They were exciting days. - Exciting? Ha!

- Well, I'll be... - Yes. Yes, I...

- I rather thought you would be. - Marion.

Marion, there's milk in the milk bottle.

The one on the bar.

What did you expect me to do? I've put all that sort of thing behind me.

I mean, I've settled down. I've got new friends, a new job.

I've forgotten all about those two people.

But you said you hadn't.

- "Nightmares," you said. - Don't you remind me of what I said.

Illya, look.

Surely you realize that your kind of work needs a special sort of operative.

- Someone who knows how to... - Not really. Not in this case.

You see, we need someone now who is not quite so efficient.

- Oh? - Yes. You see, we want her to get caught.

- Bait, sort of. - You... Ooh!

You... You actually expect to dangle me in front of their noses...

hoping they'll snap me up? Oh!

Well, I'll be...

Oh, no. No. Not bait for them, for us.

It's rather complicated, really.

The idea is that they capture you and then they dangle you in front of our noses.

It's a pretty scheme with overtones that I can only describe as Machiavellian.

Solo dreamed it up. You remember Napoleon Solo?

Do I remember Napoleon Solo? Mr. Kuryakin.

- Out, out, out! - I'll go.

You don't have to yell. All right. All right, I'm going.

I told them you wouldn't go for it. I told them.

You did, did you? How did you know I wouldn't go for it?

- I was right, wasn't I? - That's quite immaterial.

You need a special kind of talent to find a woman like Gervaise Ravel.

Without it, it wouldn't be a fair match.

Why are men always so impressed to learn that a cat has claws?

She's a very impressive woman.

Balderdash.

Balderdash.

It's just a small town and resort hotel high in the Andes.

Very elaborate, and quite possibly dangerous also.

Now, most of the local people are Indians. There's one thing we can be sure of:

That most of them are working for Bufferton.

He's enormously wealthy, one of the richest men in the world.

I want you to go into this thing with your eyes open.

I don't want to pressure you into anything you may be sorry for.

Your safety is our first and constant concern, you can be sure of that.

Of course, it's a very delicate and extremely tricky situation.

And one more thing:

I want you to submit to a minor, a very minor surgical operation.

- What sort of an operation? - I don't want to tell you that.

All I can tell you is that is minor and it will not leave a lasting scar.

And it will add enormously to the safety precautions we must take for you.

You'll just have to trust us as we trust you.

- All right, anything you say. - Good.

We'll take you over to the doctor. He can start carving you up.

Oh, I do like a man with a sense of humor.

Good.

We'll leave the day after tomorrow.

They're gonna start preparations for the fiesta.

Illya will go ahead tonight and lay some of the groundwork.

We will see you there, won't we?

Well, I'll see you there.

All right, here.

Gracias.

Could you put my bag in my room, boy?

Thank you.

Ah!

Welcome to Boridqua.

Did you have to scare the wits out of everybody?

I've been over the room. Nothing. There's nothing in the other room either.

- They took our photograph down there. - I saw.

Thank you, the trip was wonderful.

And the seats were very good and the food was fine.

I'm so glad.

I found a likely silversmith for you. Alfonso Figueroa.

It's a stall by the café. You can't miss it.

Good. Let's take a look at this.

This is where I'm hiding. It's a small cave in the mountains.

We'll have a good cross-reference. Then when they capture her, I'll move over.

After they capture her, I'll disappear. Let's not make it too easy.

This is the road out of town.

They have to take her up here and then across into the mountains.

Now, suppose they decide to hide her in town.

Oh, it's not likely.

If they have to make a quick getaway...

Has it occurred to you that they might not take her off at all?

They might knock her off, pretend they're holding her?

It did occur to us, and we discarded it.

It's not likely. They'll know they might have to show she's still alive.

I'm sure she'd be highly delighted to hear that.

I am the target, Marion. You're merely everybody's bait.

Why don't you go back downstairs? We'll be down as soon as we can. All right?

I'll give you a half hour to freshen up.

Then we'll take a walk in the square and see the preparations for the fiesta.

- Can we buy some of those lovely masks? - No, I'm afraid not.

We're gonna make sure everyone recognizes you.

After all, we can't have them kidnapping the wrong girl, can we?

Something like this, but a locket for a lock of hair.

In the silversmith's stall, both of them. Now.

Many years ago, it is for the poison. Today, for a lock of the lady's hair.

Sixteenth century, señor. From Spain.

Good.

Thank you.

It's a sub-miniature transmitter...

activated by changes in atmospheric pressure.

It sends out a constant signal so we'll know where you are.

- So small? - We make them even smaller.

Isn't it rather an obvious hiding place?

Well, take my word for it.

Sometimes the most obvious is the most devious.

Shall we?

- Where did they go? - They just walked past.

- Where's the chauffeur? - Not the vaguest idea.

Something went wrong. Better get the Indians.

- We'll have them take the girl. - Just watch.

Beautiful photography, señor and señora. Only 50 cents, American money.

Please, let me take your picture.

All right, let's have a picture of you. I've

gotta go back to the hotel, make a call.

I'll be back in a minute.

Please, couldn't you be in the picture too?

Well, we'll take one a little later together, love, all right?

Good. Now, cheese. That's it.

Now, please, señora. If you will just step back just a little bit?

Very good. Keep going. That's good. That's good.

You must get in the sun, señora.

Very good. Go back little bit.

Now, señora, give me a big smile.

Ah!

Well, I found our chauffeur.

- Our late chauffeur. - Solo?

One minute he was there. The next, gone. We've got the girl.

Good. Then we'll get Solo soon.

We better have the Indians take her to Virena.

She is already on her way up there.

Then let's go.

I'll need as many good men as you can let me have.

Whatever you need, señor.

My orders are the fullest possible cooperation.

Good. Now all we have to do is wait.

- Drink? - You're most kind, señor.

- Please sit down. - Gracias.

My superiors never told me precisely what crime Señor Bufferton was wanted for.

It's a common enough crime. Our man put his money to the wrong use.

He financed a very ambitious woman's dream that could have become a nightmare.

- Madam Ravel? - Yes.

We took their weapons...

destroyed their headquarters and wiped out their army.

All they had left was intelligence and hard cash.

And that was enough to get them started again.

Sometimes, Señor Solo, I am grateful that I am a poor man...

when I can see the evil that money can buy.

Don't worry, we'll get them this time. With your help.

If I could know a little more of your intention, señor...?

Well, no, I don't think so.

Bufferton's a very wealthy man.

He's liable to have half this town in his pocket by now.

If what I'm doing leaks out...

I would prefer to think it was not your men who were to blame.

You are very tactful man, Mr. Solo.

- And there's no one following them? - Nope.

On the road, he could have followed us, but that's just a goat track down there.

It's too bad, in a way.

If Solo were anywhere around it, it would save us a great deal for haggling.

Two-seven-six degrees. Turning south and still climbing.

Give me your reading.

Eighty-seven degrees. Still climbing.

- Check? - Yes, it's the same.

That looks like the pendant Figueroa told us he sold them.

It's admirably made.

A transmitter activated by the constant changes in atmospheric pressure.

Here.

They've found the transmitter.

Didn't take them long, did it?

If they'd played fair, they would've told you. You were expendable.

Surprised to see you out in the open like this.

Isn't that rather risky, old man?

Sit down, Mr. Bufferton.

Thank you.

I wanted to make sure you'd be able to find me.

- You must be rather fond of that girl. - We're just one big, happy family.

Gervaise Ravel thinks Marion is expendable.

You don't share that view?

- Quite the contrary. - Well.

Then why don't we go over to the yacht and see if we can change her mind?

Whiskey, please?

Well, you'd better come along, old man.

Because if you don't, she's liable to kill her.

That's one of the things I like about Gervaise.

No inhibitions.

Well, I must say, I would like to know where that yacht is.

Your self-assurance borders on the arrogant.

You know, I used to worry a lot about that...

until I realized it only offended people such as yourself.

Thank you. Here.

I'm not really the villain you think I am.

I think, by your standards, that honor should go to Gervaise.

She likes power, she has the strength to make use of it...

and I have the money to buy it for her.

- You didn't do so well the last time. - Well, perhaps next time.

- Shall we go? - Unless you wish to give up right now.

That arrogance again.

Here, to keep in the spirit of things.

No eyeholes. You see?

- No eyeholes, I don't see. - That's very clever.

Do you mind? Awfully sorry.

Thank you. Bon voyage.

Down below.

First door on the right.

The end of the hunt.

You've kept me running a long time, Mr. Solo.

Well, it's good for your figure.

- May I...? - Of course.

Would you...?

Of course.

Thank you.

How did you find us?

- Persistence. - Was it worth it?

Well, you do yourself an injustice to even question that.

And now, you have a proposition for me?

I'll assume you'll do anything to save Marion Raven's life...

and I'm prepared to give her back to you.

Well, if you're offering a gift, that's quite generous of you.

If, on the other hand, you're selling something...

what's the price?

I wanna know what your organization knows about my movements.

How they're searching.

In other words, I wanna know when and where I can make some sort of escape.

And if I tell you what you want to know?

Marion Raven will be released.

Me too?

I'm afraid not, Mr. Solo.

Well, you're very frank.

Well, if I had less regard for your intelligence, I might lie and say:

"Yes, we'll release you," but you know better.

Well, I don't believe you'll release her either.

But there's some doubt, isn't there?

And for a man like you...

if there's the smallest doubt in your mind, you have to make the ultimate sacrifice.

No matter how insignificant the cause.

You're very sure that I'll do what you want.

Your respect for what you think is right is your weakness.

Tell me, do you play chess, Madame Ravel?

Right now? No, I... I would not like to.

I see.

Fires two bullets.

One should be sufficient.

The Giuoco Piano gambit.

Bishop to bishop four...

tempting the queen to rashly move out to knight three.

And the queen has moved out, hasn't she?

But your queen is threatened. I don't think you'll risk it.

I call your bluff.

Oh, it's no bluff.

My white knight has gone to the rescue of my queen.

You don't have a white knight.

Perhaps your presumption of infallibility is your weakness, Gervaise.

We destroyed your transmitter, you must know that.

Yet you still think you know where the girl is.

Bufferton calls it my "arrogance."

Really, a pendant round her neck?

Yes, it was rather artless, wasn't it?

You're not an artless man.

Why I don't I just simply have you killed right here, now?

- All my friends are around us, you know. - For a very simple reason.

There's an energetic, cooperative police officer, Lieutenant Manuera.

His men followed me here, and if I should not come out soon...

Harold Bufferton said that my choice of a death mask was morbid.

Do you think he's right?

Let's go above deck and see if there are any signs of your Lieutenant Manuera.

If not, you might just have to use that little gun.

You always did give the wildest parties.

I can call Manuera. Wait for his men to come onboard.

Or if you'd rather, we can leave discreetly, all right?

All right.

That's a nice fella.

Not enough brandy in the world to make this place seem like home.

It's a bit of a comedown, old girl, isn't it?

- What are you going to do with me? - Hm?

You must know the answer to that. It's a pity.

You could have made some man very happy.

You don't look like a man who'd commit a murder quite so callously.

Oh, I'm not, really, you know. Basically, I'm a very nice fellow.

But there have been two great tragedies in my life.

I found the biggest emerald mine in the world...

worth so many millions I've never even bothered to count them.

I fell in love with Gervaise Ravel.

The first calamity made me impossibly rich...

and the second one made me an extension of a beautiful woman's will.

That means...

whatever she wants, I want too.

And I suppose you think she's in love with you too.

That woman isn't capable of love.

No, no, no. I have no illusions on that score.

At my age, with my kind of money...

I have learned a long time ago that you buy everything.

And you're satisfied with that?

Uh-huh. And for a very good reason.

You see, perhaps she really does love me.

How can I be sure? I'll tell you how.

If she weeps at my grave when I die, I'll be sure.

Rather late, then, old girl. Hm?

Please.

- Have any trouble here? - No, why should we?

- Who's he? - The doctor from Boridqua.

They know where the girl is. There's one way to account for that.

How can they? We found the transmitter.

Rather obvious, wasn't it?

I noticed a recent scar on her arm. Hurry in the cabin.

I should have thought of this.

Do not be afraid, señorita. Small momento.

- No pain. No pain. - Let's get on with it.

What about Solo?

No need to worry about Mr. Solo anymore.

Stay away from my bird.

Tell me what happened.

Are your men still on board?

No, sir. Just the two of us.

The last of the guests left a little while ago.

I see. That's the way it is, huh?

I was told you were the most responsible man on the force.

- That's why you got the job. - Oh, but I am.

Indeed I am.

And not the least of my responsibilities is a large family, Mr. Solo...

but for a little extra money... For a lot of extra money.

I see.

In 20 years of loyal police service...

if you only knew how many bribes I've refused.

Always, I knew that one day...

I'm no longer a poor policeman, Mr. Solo.

I'm a very rich civilian.

Manuera, you'd better shoot me now.

When my head clears, you're not gonna have the chance.

Oh, no, no. I draw the line at murder. I told them so.

They just want me to make sure you stay on the boat.

You're a fool, you know that?

They'll leave this country. You think they'll leave you alive?

By tomorrow, I will have left too.

They're not going to let me get away either.

They're not gonna let this ship be intact.

May contain some clues for future pursuers.

- You can do better than that, Mr. Solo. - We gotta get off this yacht, and now.

- Stay where you are. - This yacht is going to blow up.

This is the only thing that makes sense. You, me, this ship...

and all the liabilities on board are gonna go "boom."

Now the guests have left. How long do you think we have?

- Don't believe you. - And there probably isn't time to argue.

Come on. I didn't hit you that hard.

You should see me when I'm really trying.

I suppose for that, I should be grateful.

That's right. Also for my saving your life.

For truly sure. Gracias. Gracias.

May I turn into a goat for failing to see that I owe my life to you.

If you don't mind, Señor Solo, to shake a cloven hoof.

How...? How you can breathe up here? There is no oxygen in the air.

- Harold? - Yes.

Another one of their transmitters. It was under her skin.

Well, I thought that was a technique they reserved for animals.

Migrations and all that.

I said you were rash to trust your new friends.

You see? Now they've made a monkey out of you.

We'll take her in the helicopter with us.

We still need her to catch a white knight.

A what?

Mr. Solo was not alone. I'm afraid there's only room for three of us.

You'll have to find your own way down.

- But señora, a man cannot walk that fast. - Oh, do shut up.

Harold.

There's a new experience for you.

To me, Marion! Here, to me.

Get them!

Gervaise.

Oh, no.

It's no good. Oh, we've got to go down.

- I can't breathe. The air's too thin. - I know.

The Indians are used to it.

- I can make it. Can you? - I think so.

I'll go first.

No. If you leave, I'll never make it. You may have to push.

No. I'd rather catch you than push you.

Please be more careful. You had me worried for a minute.

- Where to now? - Just keep running.

That won't hold Indians for very long.

Come on.

You have two minutes and that's all.

I need a day, a week, a year.

Napoleon, where are you?

Behind you. On this ridge.

I'll flash you.

I see you.

- They're after us. - All right, I've been hearing gunfire.

Go on down. Head back to Boridqua.

They're not good, but there are a few of them.

Well, let's see if we can take care of that on the way down.

By the way, Bufferton is dead.

Well, that's life.

Drop your gun and come forward slowly.

Stand quite still. Put down your gun.

Put down your gun.

Manuera, kill them.

The Indians and Madam Ravel, just coming in to the village.

Good. Wait till they're closer in.

You'll make captain yet, Manuera.

There you are, Mr. Solo. Your friends and your enemies, all together.

Now, if you will join them.

If you will join them, please.

Oh, I see. Well...

Which one of us is to play the goat this time, Manuera?

You agreed to overlook my temporary corruption, Mr. Solo.

But I found that my sudden wealth was too enjoyable to discard.

I joined your enemies again.

You should have realized I was not to be trusted.

Oh, but I did just that.

You see?

I didn't trust you.

Oh, well. The poor are destined to get poorer.

It's the end of the game, Gervaise.

Queens, the knights, the pawns have all made their moves.

Your king is lost.

It's check...

and mate.

- Hello, everybody. - Hello, Marion.

Is this a welcome home party?

Well, if it is, it started four days ago before she left.

Oh, dear. My hair's a mess.

We should have cleaned up before getting the plane.

But, oh, no. You wouldn't even stop at the hotel.

They won't know you left.

Oh, my friends, when they have a good time at a party, they like to keep it going.

For four days?

Sore loser. Well, shall we join the festivities?

Oh, no, Mr. Napoleon Solo, not you. You're not gonna meet my friends.

You'll drag them off and have them killed.

Who me?

Don't stand there looking innocent. You're a whirling mass of plots and schemes.

And you get Illya involved too, the poor boy.

Now, just you go away and leave us alone.

Do you mind if I have this for the road?

Yes, I do. No, you can't. Out, out.

- Out, out, out... - Very well, Marion.

I'm not going anywhere until somebody fills this up.

Well, I believe somebody already has.