All language subtitles for ENg[YTS.MX]

Downloaded from
YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TRIMARK ENTERTAINMENT

[SOFT FOOTSTEPS]

[HAMMERING]

[MEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

LOOK OUT.
HERE HE COMES.

PROBABLY GOING
TO SHOW US HOW
TO STACK THE PAINT.

HOLD IT, GUYS.

LET ME GIVE YOU
A HAND THERE.

THERE WE GO.

NICE AND TIGHT
UP AGAINST THE WALL

WITH A ONE-INCH
INTERVAL
BETWEEN THE CANS.

ALL RIGHT?

[MEN SHOUTING
AND CLAPPING]

Man: LET'S SEE
A DOUBLE.

DOUBLE!

YOU GOT IT.

YOU GOT IT.

HEY, AL.

WHAT'S GOING ON
HERE, SOAPY?

NOTHING MUCH.

JUST A LITTLE GAME
TO PASS THE TIME.

WELL, I SUGGEST
THAT YOU POSTPONE

THIS LITTLE GAME
OF YOURS AND GET
BACK TO WORK--

PRONTO!

CHRIST! IT'S
A QUARTER TO
FUCKING 5:00!

THAT'S CORRECT.

WHICH MEANS
WE HAVE EXACTLY
15 MORE MINUTES

TO GET THAT TURBINE
SQUARED AWAY
FOR A SYSTEMS CHECK.

WE'RE ON A TIGHT
SCHEDULE HERE, GUYS.

COME ON!
WORK WITH ME.

Soapy:
YOU GOT IT, AL.

WE'RE WITH YOU, NOW.
ALL RIGHT, FELLAS.
LET'S BREAK THIS UP.

THAT TURBINE'S
GOING IN 15 MINUTES.

LET'S HIT IT!

ALL RIGHT, FUHRMAN,
YOU TAKE THE LEFT
SILICON SWITCHES.

GET THEM ALL PRIMED.

A BUNCH
OF YOU MONKEYS

START CALIBRATING
THE DENSITY
MAGNETOMETERS.

HEY, DEX--

POKER GAME TONIGHT.
MY ROOM.

Dex: I'M THERE.

YOU COME TOO, TACO--
AND BRING ELWOOD
WITH YOU.

NOW, WHO GONNA
BRING THE BEER?

Man: I'LL BRING
THE BEER.

NO, NO. YOU BROUGHT
MOOSE PISS LAST TIME.

TACO,
YOU BRING THE BEER.

Soapy: HEY, I WISH
THIS PLACE HAD A POOL.

WHAT THE FUCK?

OH, SORRY, MAN--
I MEAN, MR. FOUNTAIN.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, DEX.

THERE'S NO HARM DONE.

YOU CAN CALL ME AL,
YOU KNOW.

AL.

HEY, ELWOOD,
WAIT UP, MAN!

COME ON.

[AL SINGING IN SHOWER]

Al to himself:
SURE. I'D LOVE TO PLAY
POKER WITH YOU GUYS.

I'LL BRING THE BEER.

I--I INSIST.
I'M THE BOSS.

I'LL PAY
FOR THE BEER.

POKER?

NO, I REALLY HAVE
NO DESIRE TO PLAY POKER
WITH YOU GUYS.

WHY? BECAUSE
IT'S A STUPID GAME.

YOU HEARD ME.

IT'S A STUPID,
STUPID GAME!

[PEOPLE LAUGHING AND TALKING]

THANK YOU.

HEY, AL.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING
ABOUT OVER HERE?

OH, NOTHING,
REALLY.

I'M JUST THINKING.

WHAT CAN I DO
FOR YOU, SOAPY?

I WANTED TO TELL YOU
I WAS SORRY ABOUT
THE INCIDENT TODAY.

THE GUYS WERE
LETTING OFF STEAM.
WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I UNDERSTAND.

SOMETIMES
I FEEL LIKE

LETTING A LITTLE
STEAM OFF MYSELF.

YEAH?

WHY DON'T YOU
COME BY THE ROOM--

PLAY SOME
POKER TONIGHT?

POKER?

HMM.

HMM. MAYBE SO.

I--I GOT
A COUPLE THINGS

TO GET
SQUARED AWAY,
BUT WE'LL SEE.

OK.

I'LL SEE YOU
THERE, THEN.

ROOM 714.

[PHONE RINGING]

YAAHH!

Woman: BOBBY,
CAN YOU GET THAT?

HELLO.

HELLO, BOB.
IT'S YOUR FATHER.

WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?

STUDYING.

GOOD FOR YOU.
SEE THAT?

SUMMER SCHOOL'S
NOT SO BAD, IS IT?

NO, SIR.

WHAT'S 12 TIMES 7?

17?

I'M SORRY, BOB.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?

28?

NO, IT ISN'T, BOB.
PUT YOUR MOTHER ON.

HI, AL.

IS HE STUDYING,
DEB?

I DON'T GET THE SENSE
THAT HE'S STUDYING.

HE'S STUDYING, AL.

WELL, I WANT YOU TO GET
HIM SOME FLASHCARDS,

AND I WANT HIM TO KNOW
HIS MULTIPLICATION

1 THROUGH 12
BY THE TIME I GET HOME.

DID YOU HAVE
A BAD DAY, AL?

YOU SEEM
A LITTLE TENSE.

NO, DEB,
I HAD A GOOD DAY.

I HAD TO GET FIRM
WITH SOME OF THE MEN
ABOUT SOMETHING,

BUT THEY TOOK IT
WELL, WHICH IS GOOD.

JUST TRYING
TO INSTILL IN THEM

A HEALTHY RESPECT
FOR AUTHORITY.

WELL, I'M SURE
THEY ALL LIKE YOU
AND RESPECT YOU, AL.

WELL, THAT'S NOT
MY CONCERN, DEB--

ALTHOUGH THEY DID
INVITE ME TO A POKER
GAME TONIGHT.

THAT'S GREAT!

ARE YOU GOING
TO GO?

NO,
I DON'T THINK SO.

OH, COME ON, AL.
YOU SHOULD GO.

LISTEN, DEB,
I'LL GO IF I FEEL
LIKE GOING.

IF I DON'T
FEEL LIKE GOING,

THEN I'M NOT
GOING TO GO.
ALL RIGHT?

NO, THAT'S GOOD, AL.

WELL, WE'RE RIGHT
ON SCHEDULE HERE,

AND IT LOOKS LIKE
I'LL BE HOME
A WEEK FROM TODAY.

SO YOU'RE GOING
TO MISS THE FOURTH?

YEP. WE'LL WORK
THAT WEEKEND,

AND I'LL FLY OUT
ON THE 5th.

I SHOULD GET INTO
O'HARE AROUND 4:38.

I CAN'T WAIT
TO SEE YOU, AL.
I MISS YOU.

WELL, DEB,
IT'S MY JOB.

SORRY. I FORGOT.

THANK GOD I DIDN'T SAY
SOMETHING REALLY STUPID
LIKE "I LOVE YOU."

AND I LOVE YOU,
TOO, DEB.

Bobby: OH, MOM,
SHOULD I ASK HIM--

HOLD ON. BOBBY WANTS
TO SAY SOMETHING.

DAD, CAN I GET
SOME FIREWORKS?

NO, BOB. FIREWORKS
ARE ILLEGAL.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

HOW'S IT GOING?

HA HA HA HA!

HOW'S IT GOING, GUYS?

HA HA!

HOW'S IT GOING?
HI, GUYS.

Dex: WHAT THE HELL
DID YOU INVITE
FOUNTAIN FOR?

Soapy: DON'T WORRY.
HE WON'T SHOW.

HE'S PROBABLY
IN BED RIGHT NOW

WITH HIS NOSE STUCK
IN THE ABCOM MANUAL.

HE'S PROBABLY
JERKING OFF TO IT.

[MEN LAUGH]

Elwood: HELL, I'LL BET
HE DON'T EVEN JERK OFF.

THE GUY BETTER
NOT SHOW UP, MAN.

HE BUGS THE SHIT
OUT OF ME.

WHY?

WHY?
HE'S AN ASSHOLE!

OH,
I DON'T KNOW, DEX.

THE WAY I SEE AL,
HE'S JUST ONE
OF THOSE GUYS

WHO GOES THROUGH
LIFE LIKE A ROBOT.

HE CAN'T HELP IT.

HE LIKE A DAMN MACHINE
ON AUTOMATIC PILOT.

I FEEL KIND
OF SORRY FOR HIM.

YEAH? I STILL THINK
HE'S AN ASSHOLE.

Elwood: SO DO I.

YOU MAY BE RIGHT.

ARE WE GOING TO
PLAY POKER HERE OR WHAT?

[MEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

Man: BRING THOSE PIECES
OF PIPE OVER THERE.

Man: WE NEED THAT FRONT
END LOADER AROUND HERE.

RUNNING LIKE
CLOCKWORK TODAY, AL.

TURBINE'S IN.

WE'RE READY TO RUN
THE SYSTEM CHECK

WHENEVER YOU WANT
TO GIVE HER THE JUICE.

OK. RIGHT.
SYSTEMS CHECK.

WE'LL SQUARE
THAT AWAY RIGHT NOW.

JESUS, AL.

YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT.

WHAT DID YOU DO,
PARTY ALL NIGHT?

I HAD A LITTLE
TROUBLE SLEEPING,
THAT'S ALL.

WELL, YOU SHOULD
HAVE COME BY THE GAME.

YEAH. I PROBABLY
SHOULD HAVE.

[HELICOPTER APPROACHING]

WHAT'S GOING ON,
CHIEF?

Al: THE JOB
IS CANCELED.

CANCELED? WHAT DO
YOU MEAN, CANCELED?

CANCELED OVER
A MANAGEMENT DECISION.

THEY'RE GIVING US
ALL OUR BONUS, AND...

THEY'RE
SENDING US HOME.

DEXTER MOON.
THERE YOU GO, DEX.

GRACIAS.

GOOD JOB, BUDDY.

ANYTIME.

CURTIS WILEY.
PASS THIS BACK.

ALL RIGHT. LISTEN UP.

THE SHUTTLE VAN LEAVES
FOR THE AIRPORT AT 3:45.

I WANT ALL YOU MONKEYS
TO BE ON TIME

BECAUSE I'M NOT MISSING
THAT FUCKING FLIGHT.

Man: YOU GOT
THAT RIGHT.

I'D LIKE FOR US TO TAKE
A MOMENT TO THANK OUR CHIEF

FOR GETTING US OUT
OF THIS SHITHOLE EARLY--
WITH A BONUS ON TOP OF IT.

LET'S HEAR IT
FOR AL FOUNTAIN.

LET'S HEAR IT!

COME ON.

ALL RIGHT.

I'D LIKE TO MAKE
A SUGGESTION BASED
ON EXPERIENCE...

[HORN TOOTS]

[PHONE RINGING]

HYAH!

TAKE THAT!

Deb: HELLO.

HI, DEB. IT'S AL.

HEY. MR. CLOCKWORK.

WHAT?

Bobby: HYAH!

WELL, IT'S 9:00
ON THE BUTTON.

I COULD ALMOST
SET MY WATCH BY YOU.

WELL, DIDN'T WE SAY
I WOULD CALL AT 9:00?

IT'S A JOKE, AL.

HO HO HO!

I SEE.

YEAH,
NOW I GET IT.

LISTEN, DEB,
I CAN'T TALK TOO LONG,

BUT I JUST WANTED
TO LET YOU KNOW THAT
WE'RE STILL ON SCHEDULE,

AND I'LL BE SEEING YOU
IN EXACTLY 6 DAYS.

Bobby: HYAH!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
THIS WEEKEND?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

SOME OF THE GUYS
ASKED ME TO GO FISHING.

I MIGHT GO WITH THEM.

THAT'S GREAT!

SEE, I TOLD YOU
THEY LIKED YOU.

DID YOU PLAY POKER
LAST NIGHT?

YES, IT WAS
A LOT OF FUN.

SO...THAT'S IT,
REALLY.

I'LL CALL YOU THE DAY
AFTER TOMORROW.

WAIT. DON'T YOU WANT
TO SPEAK TO BOBBY?

NO.

I MEAN, YES.

I'M PRACTICALLY
OUT THE DOOR HERE.

DID YOU GET HIM
THE FLASHCARDS?

I DID, AL.

GOOD. VERY GOOD.

WELL, GOOD-BYE, DEB.

[PHONE CLICKS]

YOUR FATHER SAYS
GOOD NIGHT.

LISTEN, UH, DORIS,
I'M LOOKING FOR A LAKE
CALLED SPLASHY LAKE.

NEVER HEARD OF IT.

REALLY?

WELL, I WENT THERE
AS A KID.

IT WAS MORE OF
AN AMUSEMENT TYPE
OF, LIKE,

PADDLE BOATS,
PICNIC TABLES,
BIG SLIDE.

SLIDE?

YEAH. THIS BIG SLIDE
THAT YOU HAD
TO SWIM OUT TO.

YOU'D GO DOWN
THIS THING,

AND IT WOULD SEND
YOU FLYING 10, 15 FEET

OUT INTO THE MIDDLE
OF THE LAKE.

IT WAS INCREDIBLE--
REALLY.

THERE'S A SWIMMING POOL
OVER IN NEETERBORO.

THEY'VE GOT A SLIDE.

OH. OK.

WELL,
THANK YOU, DORIS.

THANK YOU.
HAVE A NICE DAY.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

EDDIE'S MIX.

MIX OF WHAT?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

JUST A LITTLE DRIVE,
THAT'S ALL.

I'M TAKING A DRIVE
DOWN THE ROAD.

LIFE IS A DRIVE...

DOWN THE ROAD.

AL FOUNTAIN--
SATURDAY, JUNE 30,

9:55 A.M.

[COW MOOS]

HERE I COME!

I'M GOING
TO GET YOU!

MOM! MOM!

JACKIE'S TRYING
TO SPIT ON ME!

Woman: JACKIE,
STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

LEAVE YOUR SISTER ALONE.

Jackie:
OK, MOM. I'M JUST
GOING TO TICKLE HER.

COME HERE, CANDY.

Candy:
STOP! MOM, HE'S
STILL DOING IT.

Woman: JACKIE, IF I HAVE
TO GET YOUR FATHER,

YOU WON'T
EAT TONIGHT.

Jackie: COME ON!

JACKIE! JACKIE,
I'M GOING TO WAKE UP
YOUR FATHER.

IS THAT
WHAT YOU WANT?

[BELL RINGS]

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD
OF A PLACE CALLED
SPLASHY LAKE?

NO, BUT THERE'S
A SPLATCHEE LAKE

50 MILES EAST
ON 108.

OH, HOW DO
YOU SPELL THAT?

S-P-L-A-T-C-H-
DOUBLE E.

C-H-DOUBLE E.

SPLATCHEE,
NOT SPLASHY.

IS THERE
PADDLE BOATS,

PICNIC TABLES--
A BIG SLIDE?

OH, YEAH.
LOTS OF AMUSEMENTS.

I CAN'T
BELIEVE IT.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER
FOR THIS PLACE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY,
REALLY.

I SPENT A COUPLE
OF DAYS THERE
WHEN I WAS A KID,

AND I JUST REMEMBER
HAVING A GREAT TIME.

ME, TOO.

MY BROTHER AND I
DROWNED A CAT
THERE ONCE.

IS THAT RIGHT?

LISTEN, HOW'S THE FOOD
ACROSS THE STREET?

BEST I EVER ATE.

THANK YOU.

Jukebox: * I'M A REAL AMERICAN

* RED, WHITE, AND BLUE

* BORN WITH A RIGHT
TO CARRY A GUN *

* AND SO, MY FRIEND,
WERE YOU *

THAT PIE ALMOST
LOOKS HOMEMADE,
DOESN'T IT?

MM-HMM.

IT DOES
LOOK HOMEMADE.

MORE COFFEE?

NO, THANKS.

I GET OFF
IN HALF AN HOUR.
THANK GOD!

FIRST THING
I'M GOING TO DO

IS TAKE OFF
ALL MY CLOTHES,

TAKE A NICE,
LONG, HOT SHOWER.

THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

YOU STAYING OVER
AT THE MOTEL?

ACTUALLY, YES.
I AM.

HOW'S THE HOT WATER
OVER THERE?

I DON'T KNOW.

I--I HAVEN'T
TRIED IT YET.

WHY?

JUST CURIOUS.

JUST CURIOUS, HUH?

IF SHE'S CURIOUS,
WHY THE HELL DOESN'T
SHE CALL THE MOTEL

AND ASK THEM HOW
THE HOT WATER IS?

WHAT DOES SHE THINK?

I WAS JUST GOING TO
INVITE HER OVER HERE

SO SHE COULD
TAKE A SHOWER?

Television in next room:
INTRODUCING OUR EXCITING
AUDIOTAPE SERIES,

HEAVENLY FAITH.

JESUS IS STRONG,
BUT HE NEEDS YOUR HELP.

SEND A CHECK NOW PAYABLE
TO HELP-THE-LORD INDUSTRIES,
AND YOU'LL RECEIVE...

[PHONE RINGING ON OTHER END]

Woman: HELLO.

I'M VARLA,
AND I'M LONELY.

WHO ARE YOU?

NORMAN.

WHAT A SEXY NAME.

IT'S MAKING ME VERY HOT
AND HORNY JUST SAYING IT.

NORMAN.

[BELL DINGS]

WAIT, THERE'S SOMEBODY
AT THE DOOR.

TWO MEN RUSH IN,
THEIR EYES RED WITH LUST.

THEY RIP MY GOWN OFF,

EXPOSING MY NAKED BODY
TO THEIR EVIL GAZE.

JUST AS THEY ARE
ABOUT TO RAVISH ME,

I STICK MY FINGERS
INTO THEIR EYES AND RIP OUT
BOTH THEIR EYEBALLS.

EXCUSE ME--VARLA?

I'M SORRY, BUT,
UH, THIS ISN'T
TOO STIMULATING.

[PHONE RINGS]

OH, THERE'S
THAT DOORBELL AGAIN.

OH, IT'S YOU--NORMAN.

YOU STAND THERE
STARING AT ME.

I'M TOTALLY NAKED
EXCEPT FOR TWO BLEEDING,
HUMAN EYEBALLS IN MY HANDS.

YOU SAY, "VARLA,
I HAVE NEVER BEFORE
SEEN A MORE BEAUTIFUL,

HOT, SEXY WOMAN."

SAY IT, NORMAN.

SAY IT NOW.

[EDDIE'S MIX PLAYING]

* WHOO!

* OH!

* HA HA HA

HA HA HA!

[SPOOKILY]
HA HA HA HA!

* BOO BOO BOO
BOO BOO BOO BOO *

HA HA HA!

IT'S NOT WHERE YOU'RE
GOING BUT HOW YOU
GET THERE THAT COUNTS.

AL FOUNTAIN.

WAIT A SECOND.

IT'S NOT HOW YOU
GET THERE BUT WHERE
YOU'RE GOING THAT COUNTS.

IS THAT RIGHT?

JESUS CHRIST,
WHAT IS IT?

WELL, WHEREVER YOU'RE GOING,
I HOPE TO CHRIST YOU GET THERE.

HA HA HA HA!

OH!

[HINGES SQUEAKING]

[KICKS EMPTY BOTTLE]

Woman: IT WOULDN'T
BE A VERY SMART
THING FOR HIM TO DO.

YOU DON'T THINK
HE'S GOING TO
GO IN, DO YOU?

THAT'S WHY I WANT
TO TALK TO HIM
A LITTLE BIT.

THAT WOULDN'T BE
A REAL GOOD IDEA,
FOR SURE.

Man: HELLO, THERE.

YOU'RE NOT CONTEMPLATING
A SWIM, ARE YOU?

NO, NO.
NO, I'M NOT.

THE WIFE THOUGHT
YOU WERE GOING IN.

THERE'S A CHEMICAL PLANT
AROUND THAT COVE

BEEN DUMPING FORMALDEHYDE
IN THE LAKE FOR 15 YEARS.

YOU STEP IN,
AND IT'LL BURN
YOUR FEET RIGHT OFF.

JESUS!
THANKS FOR TELLING ME.

NO PROBLEM.

DIDN'T WANT
TO HAVE TO GO IN
AFTER YOU.

I'M LUVVEN CODDLE.

THIS IS MY WIFE
WYNELLE.

HOWDY.

HI.

AL FOUNTAIN.

PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

IT IS A NICE DAY.

YEAH.

CAN I ASK YOU,
IS EVERYTHING
ALL RIGHT, AL?

OH, SURE.

EVERYTHING'S
FINE.

JUST, I HAVEN'T
BEEN HERE SINCE
I WAS A KID,

AND IT'S KIND
OF A SHOCK TO
SEE IT LIKE THIS.

Wynelle: I CAN IMAGINE.

BUT WE'RE USED TO IT.
WE WALK HERE EVERY DAY.

I'M NOT USED TO IT.

THIS WAS
A BEAUTIFUL LAKE.

YOU EVER GO DOWN
THAT SLIDE, AL?

YES, I DID.

ME, TOO.

JUST LIKE FLYING,
WASN'T IT?

LIKE A BIRD
OUT OVER THAT WATER.

THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT IT WAS LIKE--

FLYING.

I REMEMBER SHOOTING DOWN
THAT SLIDE AND FLYING--

MY GOD,
IT MUST HAVE BEEN--

OH, 15, 20 FEET.

YEAH! RIGHT OUT INTO
THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE.

I REMEMBER MY DAD
WAS YELLING FOR ME
TO COME IN.

I PRETENDED LIKE
I DIDN'T HEAR HIM

AND JUST
STAYED OUT THERE.

AND I KEPT ON
GOING DOWN THAT SLIDE

EVEN THOUGH I KNEW HE
WAS GOING TO GIVE IT TO
ME SOON AS I GOT IN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
GIVE IT TO YOU, AL?

WELL, HE PULLED DOWN
MY SUIT RIGHT HERE
ON THE BEACH

AND HE SPANKED ME
WITH THIS SLIDE RULE

HE ALWAYS CARRIED
AROUND WITH HIM.

I'M VERY
SORRY TO HEAR
THAT, AL.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN...
HUMILIATING.

AL, CAN I ASK YOU--
IS THERE SOMETHING
ELSE TROUBLING YOU?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

FORGIVE ME FOR
PRYING, BUT I--

I SENSE
A YEARNING IN YOU,

A SEARCHING...

ALMOST AS IF
YOU'RE LOST.

YOU'VE BEEN LOST FOR
A LONG, LONG TIME.

AM I RIGHT?

HAVE YOU
FOUND JESUS, AL?

WHY?
IS HE MISSING?

NO. NO, AL.

HE'S WITH US
RIGHT NOW,
RIGHT HERE.

OH. I THOUGHT
I SAW SOMEBODY

WALKING ON
THE WATER
OVER THERE.

I DON'T THINK
YOUR SALVATION IS
A LAUGHING MATTER, AL.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

SOME PEOPLE, MAN,
THEY GOT TO STICK THEIR NOSE--

WHY THEY CAN'T
JUST MIND THEIR OWN--

BUT NO,
THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.

THEY HAVE TO JUST--

HOW ABOUT THE SALVATION
OF YOUR ASS, PAL--

WHEN I STICK
MY FOOT UP IT?

HOLY--

AAH!

WOW!

THAT WAS GREAT, MAN.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD,
WHAT THE HELL
WERE YOU DOING?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

STOPPING ON
A BLIND CURVE
LIKE THIS!

YOU ALMOST
GOT US BOTH KILLED!

OH, MAN--I'M SORRY.

MY CAR JUST DIED
ON ME RIGHT HERE.

I CAN'T EVEN
MOVE IT. I--

YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT ENGINES?

YEAH,
A LITTLE BIT.

WELL, I ALREADY
CHECKED HER OUT.

I'M PRETTY SURE
IT'S THE GASKET.

COULD BE THAT DANG
CARBURETOR, THOUGH.

THINK YOU COULD
TAKE A LOOK AT HER?

ALL RIGHT.
OUT OF THE WAY.

OH, GOD.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

BE CAREFUL WITH THAT.

UH, YOU GOT
TROUBLE, PAL.

GASKET, RIGHT?

NO, NO, NO, NO.

IT'S
THE DISTRIBUTOR.

THE DRIVE GEAR'S
BROKEN.

THIS CAR'S
GOING NOWHERE.

OH, SHIT!

OH, SHIT!

SHIT, SHIT!

HEY, UH,
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO?

YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO JUST LEAVE ME
OUT HERE, ARE YOU?

I'LL DRIVE YOU TO
A SERVICE STATION,
ALL RIGHT?

WH-WHAT ABOUT THE CAR?

YOU'LL JUST
HAVE TO LEAVE IT.

NO. I GOT
TO GET HER HOME.

AND HOW DO YOU
PROPOSE TO DO THAT?

I GOT A CHAIN
IN MY TRUNK.

THERE YOU GO, MAN.

SLAP THAT ON HER.

BETTER LOCK IT.
COULD POP OFF.

I ASSUME YOU'VE
GOT THE KEY.

SHIT! SHIT, SHIT!

GODDAMN IT!

WHAT DID YOU TELL ME
TO LOCK IT FOR?

OF COURSE
I GOT A KEY, MAN!

HA HA HA!

WHAT DO YOU
FUCKING THINK?

HEY, COME ON.

WE GOT TO FIGURE OUT
WHO'S GOING TO DRIVE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, SOMEONE'S GOT
TO RIDE THE BRAKE
BACK HERE,

BUT I KNOW THE ROAD
BETTER THAN YOU DO.

IT GETS
A LITTLE TRICKY.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU JUST LIVED
DOWN THE ROAD.

YEAH, JUST UP THE ROAD
A COUPLE, FEW MILES
THROUGH THE WOODS.

ALL RIGHT.
YOU DRIVE--

BUT BE CAREFUL.

THAT'S A RENTED CAR,
AND I'M RESPONSIBLE
FOR IT.

HEY, I HEAR THAT.

OH, NAME'S BUCKY,
BY THE WAY.

SOME PEOPLE CALL ME
THE KID OR, UH,
YOU CAN CALL ME KID.

AL FOUNTAIN.

ALL RIGHT, AL.
LIKE A FOUNTAIN, HUH?

THAT'S GREAT.
LISTEN, I REALLY
APPRECIATE THIS.

OK. LET'S GET GOING
'CAUSE I'VE GOT
TO BE SOMEPLACE.

ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT.
THANKS, AL.

DON'T TRIP.

RENTAL, HUH?

AH, I LIKE
THESE BABIES.

[RENTAL CAR ENGINE STARTS]

[EDDIE'S MIX PLAYING]

JESUS CHRIST!

Kid: WHOA! MAN!

HA HA HA!

THAT IS SOME
WEIRD SHIT, AL.

LET'S GET GOING!

EASY!

* I FEEL A HOT WIND
ON MY SHOULDER *

* AND THE GHOST OF A WORLD
THAT IS OLDER *

* I TURN THE SWITCH
AND CHECK THE NUMBER *

* I LEAVE IT ON
WHEN IN BED I SLUMBER *

* I HEAR THE RHYTHMS
OF THE MUSIC *

* I BOUGHT A ROD
AND I NEVER USE IT *

* I HEAR THE TALKING
OF THE D.J. *

* CAN'T UNDERSTAND
JUST WHAT DOES HE SAY *

* I'M ON
A MEXICAN RADIO... *

WHAT IS THIS PIGPEN?
WINSTON CIGARETTES?

CIGARETTE?

IT'S NOT FUNNY.
IT'S DISGUSTING.

HEY, HOW MUCH
FURTHER?

HA!

* YOU KNOW THE WAY
IS PAINTED GOLD *

* IS IT HONEY?
IS IT COLD? *

* YOU KNOW THE WAY
IT FALLS ABOUT *

* IT TAKES YOU IN
AND SPITS YOU OUT *

* OH

* IT CUTS YOU UP

* OH

* IT CUTS YOU UP

* OH

* IT CUTS YOU UP

* OH

* LA, LA LA LA LA LA,
LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA *

Kid: OH, MAN,
I'M BEAT!

WELL,
HERE WE ARE, AL.

YOU LIVE HERE?

YUP. I OWN
MY OWN HOME.

IT AIN'T MUCH,
BUT I'M OFF
THE GRID, MAN.

THAT'S WHAT COUNTS.
COME ON IN.

I'LL TURN ON
SOME LIGHTS.

LOOK, JUST GET THE KEY
AND UNLOCK THESE CARS.

I'VE STILL
GOT TO FIND A MOTEL.

WELL,
I'LL TELL YOU, MAN.

NEAREST ONE IS A TRUCK STOP
WHOREHOUSE OFF EXIT 58.

HELL,
YOU CAN STAY HERE.

NO, I CAN'T.

I'VE GOT A VERY
IMPORTANT PHONE CALL
TO MAKE.

WELL, SHIT,
I GOT A PHONE.

YOU CAN USE IT
WHILE I GET THE KEY.

KID?

[METALLIC OBJECT HITS FLOOR]

KID, WHERE ARE YOU?

[KID TURNS ON LIGHT SWITCHES]

WHAT THE HELL
HAPPENED HERE?

WHAT? WHAT'S
THE MATTER?

WHAT
DO YOU MEAN?

WHERE'S THE REST
OF YOUR HOUSE?

OH, I ONLY
BOUGHT HALF.

I GET A REALLY
GOOD DEAL.

NOW, LISTEN--
THE PHONE'S
RIGHT THERE.

WHEN YOU USE IT,
ONLY TALK
FOR ONE MINUTE,

'CAUSE I'M
TAPPED IN ILLEGAL,

AND ANYTHING LONGER
THEY CAN TRACE.

CHRIST ALMIGHTY!

ALL THAT DRIVING
WORE ME OUT.

I'M HITTING
THE SACK, OK?

YOU CAN HAVE
THE BED. OK?

HEY!
HEY, WAIT A SECOND.

NO, NO, NO.
I WANT YOU
TO HAVE IT.

YOU DROVE ME ALL
THE WAY HOME. IT'S
THE LEAST I CAN DO.

HEY! HEY, BUCK--
GIVE ME THE KEY.

KID! HEY!

THE KID!

WHERE'S THE KEY?

[PHONE RINGING]

Al: HI, DEB.
IT'S AL.

AL! I'M SO GLAD
YOU CALLED.

WHERE ARE YOU?

REMEMBER I TOLD YOU
I WAS GOING FISHING?

WELL, WE'RE ALL
IN A LITTLE CABIN
TOGETHER.

THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

ARE YOU HAVING
A GOOD TIME?

GREAT TIME.

LISTEN,
SOME GOOD NEWS.

WE'RE AHEAD
OF SCHEDULE,

AND IT LOOKS
LIKE I'LL BE
COMING HOME EARLY.

AL, THAT'S GREAT!

SO WE CAN HAVE
A FOURTH OF JULY.

IT LOOKS THAT WAY.

I CAN'T WAIT
TO SEE YOU, DEB.

[WHISPERING]
And now I should go.

HERE,
SAY HI TO BOBBY.

HI, DAD.

HI, BOB. WHAT'S UP?

DAD, ARE THE
LITTLE FIREWORKS
ILLEGAL--

YOU KNOW,
THE REAL
LITTLE ONES?

THEY SURE ARE, BOB.

ALL FIREWORKS
ARE ILLEGAL.

I WAS
JUST CHECKING.

GOOD NIGHT, DAD.

GOOD NIGHT.

[BOOM]

HUH?

MORNING.

WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT?

M-80.

THEM SUCKERS PACK
A WALLOP, DON'T THEY?

I GOT THE CARS UNLOCKED.
COME ON, MAN.

GET SOME BREAKFAST
BEFORE YOU TAKE OFF.

HOW LONG HAVE
YOU LIVED HERE?

OH...

I'VE BEEN OFF
THE GRID NOW
ABOUT 3 YEARS.

DIG IN THERE--

BEFORE
IT GETS MUSHY.

I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING.

THE WHOLE PLACE
COULD USE
A LITTLE WORK.

YOU SEE, I'M KIND OF
IN A MEDIARY STAGE.

I WANT TO GO TOTAL
SELF-SUFFICIENT--

SOLAR POWER,
WINDMILL--

GENERATE
MY OWN ELECTRICITY.

YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT THAT STUFF?

YEAH, I KNOW
SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

YOU SEE THAT?

I COULD TELL YOU
HAD A KNACK FOR
THINGS MECHANICAL.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

I'M AN ELECTRICAL
ENGINEER, ACTUALLY--

SPECIALIZING IN
FIELD INSTALLATIONS OF
ZEUS TURBINE GENERATORS.

NO SHIT?

I BET
YOU'D EVEN KNOW

HOW TO CHANGE
A DISTRIBUTOR
DRIVE GEAR.

AM I RIGHT?

LISTEN, KID OR BUCK
OR WHATEVER
YOUR NAME IS--

I WENT OUT OF MY WAY
TO GET YOU HOME
LAST NIGHT,

AND NOW I'M BADLY
BEHIND SCHEDULE.

I'LL DROP YOU OFF
AT THE NEAREST GARAGE
AND AFTER THAT--

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

THAT'S FINE
BY ME, AL.

REALLY.

THAT'S FINE.

WHAT'S WITH
THE COSTUME, BUCK?

HOW DID YOU KNOW
IT WAS A COSTUME?

IS IT?

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

I WAS AN ACTOR
FOR A WHILE...

IN THIS PLAY ABOUT
DAVY CROCKETT
IN THE OLDEN DAYS.

YOU PLAYED
DAVY CROCKETT?

YEAH.

NO, I MEAN,
I PLAYED SOME GUY

STANDING AROUND
WITH A RIFLE,

BUT ONE NIGHT
I TRIED ON
DAVY'S COSTUME,

AND IT FIT ME
SO PERFECT,
I JUST TOOK IT.

YOU STOLE IT?

HEY, PULL UP
A SECOND HERE, AL,
WILL YOU?

HOLD ON A SECOND.

HEY, THERE,
MR. FREAKY.

YOU BEEN
WAITING FOR ME?

ALL RIGHTY, THEN.
LET'S GET
SOMETHING TO EAT.

YOU GAINED
A LITTLE WEIGHT
THERE, HUH?

EATING THEM
APPLE PIES.

ALL RIGHT.
THERE YOU GO.

UHH!

OK!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

OH, A LITTLE BUSINESS.
I'M IN SALVAGE, AL--

SPECIALIZING IN FIELD
INSTALLATION OF CERAMIC
LAWN ORNAMENTS.

UH-HUH.

DO YOU KNOW
THOSE FOLKS?

OH, YEAH.

HEY, THERE!

YEAH, I LIKE THAT
DRESS--REAL FINE!

I'M GOING TO COME BACK
FOR THE SQUIRRELS, TOO.

TAKE CARE, NOW!

ALL RIGHT.

YEAH. ANYTIME YOU
WANT TO MOVE ON
IS FINE BY ME, AL.

OK.

Woman: WHEN WAS
THE LAST TIME YOU
ORDERED ANYTHING?

OH, SHUT UP.

I ORDERED YOU THAT
GODDAMN ROBE, DIDN'T I?

* YOU DON'T
HAVE ANY MONEY *

* I'LL GET YOU SOME

* YOU DON'T
HAVE NO CAR *

* I'LL GET YOU ONE

YEAH!

[RADIO PLAYING]

HEY, LYLE--
GOOD BUDDY!

WHAT THE FUCK
DO YOU WANT?

OH, I BLEW
MY DISTRIBUTOR, MAN.

THIS IS MY FRIEND,
AL.

HE'LL TELL YOU
EXACTLY WHAT KIND.

I NEED A DISTRIBUTOR
DRIVE GEAR

FOR A '67 FORD GALAXY
WITH A 390 V-8.

ISN'T HE GREAT?

HE'S MY BUDDY.

THAT GUY--HE'S ONE OF
THE BEST DAMN MECHANICS
IN THE WHOLE STATE.

HEY, WICK!

HEY, DOOB!

WHAT THE HELL
IS SHAKING?

MY LEFT NUT.

HA HA HA!
MINE, TOO.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING FOR THE FOURTH?

IS ANYTHING GOING ON?
ANY PARTIES?

ALL RIGHT, DOOB, LET'S
GET THIS FAN BELT AND GET
THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

$40.

Kid: IS THAT
THE RIGHT ONE, AL?

YOU THROW
THAT MATCH AT ME?

NO, WICK.

YEAH, HE DID.

NO, I DIDN'T.

I JUST
THREW IT DOWN.

YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST
THROWING DOWN A MATCH,
THAT'S ALL.

DON'T YOU EVER
DO THAT AGAIN.

I WON'T, WICK.

HEY, WHERE'D YOU
GET THE FUCKING HAT?

HA!

ALL RIGHT.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
THANKS A LOT, LYLE.

WICK, DOOB--YOU GUYS
TAKE IT EASY, NOW.

Kid: I REALLY
APPRECIATE THIS, AL.

ALL RIGHT.
GIVE ME THE WRENCH.

I'M GOING TO TAKE
A COURSE OR SOMETHING
ON AUTO REPAIR.

A DRIVER SHOULD
KNOW HIS CAR, BUCK.

YOU SEE THIS BOLT.
IT GOES ON LAST.

START HER UP.

PUMP THE GAS ONCE
WHEN I SAY GO.

GO!

[STARTS ENGINE]

LOOK AT THAT!

YOU'RE A GODDAMN
WIZARD, AL!

ALL RIGHT.
TURN IT OFF NOW.

[TURNS OFF ENGINE]

GREAT.

I GOT A CUSTOMER,
AL.

BE RIGHT BACK.

HEY, THERE, NAVAJO.

Navajo: HEY, KID.

HOW YOU DOING, JIM?

Jim: WHAT DO YOU
GOT FOR ME?

I GOT THIS BEAUTY
HERE, MAN.

CHECK IT OUT.

WHAT
DO YOU THINK?

MAN! IT'S GOT
A NICE SET OF FORELEGS.

YEAH. RIGHT.

NICE CHEST.
NICE MOUTH.

YOU GOT
THAT 60 FOR ME?

ONE HELL OF A SET
OF NICE ANTLERS HERE.

YEAH.

I THINK
I'LL TAKE IT.

ALL RIGHT!

UHH!

WATCH
YOUR BACK, NOW.

THAT'S WHY I GOT
SUCH A BIG--

WATCH THE HEAD,
THERE.

THAT'LL DO YOU,
MAN.

ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S GOOD, MAN.

TAKE CARE,
NAVAJO.

TAKE CARE.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

NO RECEIPT?

WHAT FOR?

SO YOU CAN CALCULATE
YOUR INCOME WHEN
YOU PAY YOUR TAXES.

TAXES?

ARE YOU
FUCKING CRAZY?

I NEVER PAID TAXES
IN MY LIFE,
AND I NEVER WILL.

I TORE UP
MY GODDAMN SOCIAL
SECURITY CARD.

I GOT NONE
OF THAT SHIT NOW.

HELL, I DON'T EVEN
HAVE A DRIVER'S
LICENSE.

WAIT A SECOND.

YOU'RE DRIVING
WITHOUT A LICENSE?

I TOLD YOU, MAN.

I'M OFF
THE FUCKING GRID.

YOUR OFF YOUR F... NUT.

YOU GET IN AN ACCIDENT
AND YOU INJURE SOMEBODY,

YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL...

ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE
DRIVING INTOXICATED

WITH A CARLOAD
OF ILLEGAL FIREWORKS.

GOD, YOU'RE--
YOU'RE RIGHT, AL.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WAS THINKING.

I FEEL
REALLY STUPID.

WELL, IT'S
YOUR LIFE, BUCK,

AND FRANKLY,
IT'S NONE
OF MY BUSINESS.

NOW, LISTEN,
IS THERE SOMEPLACE
I CAN GET WASHED UP?

YEAH. THERE'S
A BIG POOL BACK
IN THE WOODS.

THAT'S WHERE
I TAKE A BATH.

PLUS IT'S
GREAT SWIMMING.

I AM NOT TALKING
ABOUT SWIMMING.

I WANT TO GET
WASHED UP, AND I WANT
TO GET BACK ON THE ROAD.

THAT'S WHAT
I'M SAYING, AL.

YOU JUMP IN,
YOU GET CLEANED UP,
AND YOU TAKE OFF.

ALL RIGHT.
LET ME GET MY--
MY SHIRT.

Kid: DISTRIBUTOR
DRIVE GEAR,

DISTRIBUTOR
DRIVE GEAR.

I GOT TO LEARN IT.

YOU KNOW,
IT GETS COMPLICATED
IN MY BRAIN.

YOU KNOW,
I CAN'T...

[ECHOING]
HEY!

ALL RIGHT!
THERE SHE IS, AL.

THE WATER
LEANS A BIT
TO THE COOL SIDE,

BUT THE INDIANS SAY
IT'S GOOD FOR
YOUR SKIN TONE.

WHAT INDIANS?

CROWSFEET.

THEY LIVED
IN THIS VALLEY
FOR CENTURIES.

CROWSFEET?

THEY WERE THE FIRST
INDIANS TO TAME
THE WILD DOG.

IS THAT A FACT?

YUP.

I BEEN STUDYING ALL
ABOUT THAT STUFF, AL.

THIS IS THE BEST
WAY IN RIGHT HERE.

YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO WEAR ANY UNDERWEAR?

WHAT FOR?

WELL, THERE MAY BE
SOMEONE IN THE VICINITY.

HA HA HA HA!

OH, YEAH!

HEY,
COME ON IN, AL!

HOW DO YOU GET OUT?

THERE'S A ROPE.

YEAH.
YOU JUST CLIMB UP.

OK. LOOK OUT.

HERE I COME.

NOT BAD, HUH?

NO. IT FEELS
PRETTY GOOD, ACTUALLY.

I SEE THESE
LITTLE FISHIES.

WHOO!

THIS IS A NICE
LITTLE SPOT, BUCK.

YEAH. NOT MANY PEOPLE
KNOW ABOUT IT, I GUESS.

MOST OF THE TIME,
I HAVE IT TO MYSELF.

[BUCK IMITATES
CROW CALLING]

Al: HEY,
WHERE ARE WE GOING?

I'VE GOT TO
GET OUT OF HERE.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
THIS WAS A SHORTCUT.

WELL, I NEVER
REALLY TIMED IT, AL.

JUST ALWAYS
SEEMED SHORTER.

MMM!

MMM!

NOTHING LIKE
A TOMATO RIGHT OFF
THE VINE, AL.

GO AHEAD. TRY ONE.

WHOSE ARE THEY?

SOME OLD GUY.

HE DON'T
GIVE A SHIT.

I'M GOING
TO TAKE A LEAK.

GODDAMN,
I GOT TO PISS.

LIFE IS A TOMATO
RIGHT OFF THE VINE.

AL FOUNTAIN--MONDAY,
JULY 2, 4:32 P.M.

Kid: HEY, AL!

HA HA HA!

SORRY, AL.
I THOUGHT YOU'D DUCK.

YOU LITTLE
FUCKING BASTARD!

AAH!

UHH!

OK!

AAH!

WE'RE EVEN.

YEAH, THAT'S COOL.

SUCKER! YEAH!

CHICKEN!

OH, HE'S RUNNING!

THERE HE GOES.

ALL RIGHT.

Kid: OK. WAIT!

WAIT. OK. WAIT!

WAIT FOR WHAT?

WAIT FOR THIS.

DIRECT HIT.
DIRECT HIT.

YOU'RE DEAD.

OK!

YAAHH!

BIG SHOT!

BIG MAN, HUH?

AAH!

WHOA!
THERE HE GOES.

TIME OUT!
GET YOUR AMMO--

IN YOUR FACE,
BUDDY!

UHH!

THAT'S RIGHT!

OW!

YEAH!

NOW HE'S RUNNING.

DOUBLE-BARREL ACTION.

OK.

HA HA HA!

THERE!

THAT'S
A MAN'S THROW.

TIME OUT!

ANOTHER ONE.

OW!

AH!

YOU ALL RIGHT?

OHH!

DID I GET YOU
IN THE KIDNEYS?

HA!

Man on bullhorn:
ALL RIGHT NOW, BOYS.

COME ON UP
OUT OF THERE.

JESUS CHRIST!
IT'S THE POLICE!

SHH! SHH!

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
NOBODY CARED
ABOUT THESE TOMATOES!

Second man:
THERE THEY ARE.

THEY'RE RIGHT
DOWN THERE.

I CAN SEE THEM.

LET'S GO, BOYS.

I CAN SEE ONE
OF YOU'S WHITE SHIRT
AS PLAIN AS DAY--

SO WHY DON'T YOU
JUST STAND ON UP,

AND LET'S GET
THIS OVER WITH?

[WHISPERING]
What the hell
are you doing?

What are you doing?
Take the shirt off!

Take the shirt off!

What's the matter
with you?

All right.

Give me that.

Stay down!

Get down! Get down!

CRAWL. CRAWL.
COME ON.

I can't when you're
on top of me!

GET GOING, QUICK.
MOVE! COME ON!

JUST MOVE! MOVE!
COME ON.

First man: GODDAMN
THESE LITTLE KIDS!

WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LEAVE
PEOPLE'S PROPERTY ALONE?

THEY AREN'T
THEIR TOMATOES.

THEY KNOW THAT.

NO, NO. THEY'RE GOING
TO COME IN HERE

AND WASTE MY TIME
WITH THIS FROUFROU SHIT.

I THINK I RECOGNIZE
THE ONE IN THAT
WHITE SHIRT.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS.

YOU'RE GOING TO FORCE ME
TO DO SOMETHING NASTY HERE.

I'M GOING TO BEND
YOU BOTH OVER...

GET THE HELL
OUT OF HERE.

WAIT. WAIT.

AND TAKE
MY NIGHT STICK TO YOU.

WAIT A MINUTE.
STAY HERE.

JUST STAY
RIGHT THERE.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS.

I'M GETTING TIRED
OF THIS SHIT.

[INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO
TRANSMISSION]

ARE YOU
COMING OUT OR NOT?

DON'T LOOK
LIKE THEY IS.

ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?

AAH!

GODDAMN IT,
FLOYD!

YOU STUPID
SON OF A BITCH!

GET THE CAR!

LOOK OUT, BOYS!

STAND UP!

RUN!

RUN!

OH, JESUS!

JESUS, GOD,
WE'VE KILLED THEM!

IT JUST RAN
RIGHT OVER THEM.

WELL, I'LL CALL
FOR A MEDIC.

Floyd:
WHERE ARE THEY?

Man: ARE THEY ALIVE?

Kid: I'M SORRY,
AL. REALLY.

I WAS JUST TRYING
TO CREATE US
A DIVERSION

SO WE COULD
GET AWAY.

THAT'S AN OLD
INDIAN TRICK.

YEAH? WELL,
LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING, BUCK.

THAT LITTLE TRICK
OF YOURS

ALMOST KILLED AN OLD MAN
AND TWO OFFICERS
OF THE LAW.

DO YOU THINK
THAT'S FUNNY?

I NEVER THOUGHT
OF IT THAT WAY.

YOU'RE
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

IT WAS STUPID.

YOU MUST THINK
I'M A WORTHLESS,

FUCKING
PIECE OF SHIT.

LOOK, BUCK, I LIKE YOU,
BUT I HAVE GOT TO
TELL YOU SOMETHING.

I THINK IT'S TIME
YOU GOT YOUR LIFE
SQUARED AWAY.

I THINK
YOU'RE RIGHT, AL.

WELL, GOOD-BYE
AND GOOD LUCK.

ALL RIGHT, AL.

GOOD-BYE.

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE--

WHERE THE HELL...
ARE THE KEYS?

WHAT?
THE CAR KEYS?

YES.
THE CAR KEYS.

ALL RIGHT.
HOLD ON, AL.

WHEN DID YOU
LAST HAVE THEM?

WHEN I DROVE YOU
INTO TOWN.

Kid: OK. WELL,
LET'S THINK.

WE GOT BACK.
YOU GOT OUT OF THE CAR.

WHAT DID YOU DO
WITH THE KEYS?

I THOUGHT I LEFT
THEM IN THE CAR.

MIGHT YOU HAVE PUT
THEM IN YOUR POCKET?

I MIGHT HAVE--
YES.

GODDAMN IT!

I BET THEY FELL OUT
WHEN YOU WERE RUNNING AROUND
IN THAT TOMATO FIELD.

OH, CHRIST!

ALL RIGHT.
NOW, TAKE IT EASY.

TAKE IT EASY, AL.

FIRST LIGHT--
CRACK OF DAWN--

WE GO BACK TO THAT
FIELD AND WE FIND
THOSE GODDAMN KEYS.

CRACK OF DAWN?

I HAVE GOT
TO GET GOING!

I KNOW YOU DO,
AL,

AND I'M
DAMN SORRY.

I FEEL
RESPONSIBLE.

YOU'RE STILL THERE?

HEY, DON'T THINK
I'M HAPPY ABOUT THIS.

I WANTED TO GET THE HELL
OUT OF HERE YESTERDAY.

I JUST BOUGHT
$60 WORTH OF GROCERIES
FOR A COOKOUT.

WELL, YOU AND BOB
GET STARTED, AND
I'LL TRY TO BE THERE.

DON'T LET HIM
START THE FIRE.

HOW'S HE DOING
WITH THE FLASHCARDS?

I'LL LET HIM
TELL YOU.

4 POUNDS OF CHICKEN
AND $60 LATER.

HERE'S YOUR DAD.

HI, DAD.

THANKS
FOR THE FLASHCARDS.

THEY'RE REALLY
HELPING A LOT.

GOOD.
I TOLD YOU THEY WOULD.

WHAT'S 12 TIMES 8?

BOB?

UH, 15?

LISTEN, BOB, I'M GOING
TO LET YOU GO NOW

BECAUSE IT SOUNDS
LIKE YOU'VE STILL GOT
A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

ALL RIGHT.
THANKS, DAD.
GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

[TV PLAYING]

THAT'S RIGHT,
MAN!

'CAUSE HE DID IT!

TV: THE LITTLE CUBANO
IS TOUGH, NORM.

Kid: YEAH!

UNCLE SAMSON!

OH, COME ON!

HEY.

DIG IN, MAN.

SAVE SOME ROOM
FOR DESSERT.

TV: THERE GOES THE CASTROATOR.
HE'S IN ACTION NOW!

LIKE WRESTLING,
AL?

I LIKE COLLEGE
OR HIGH SCHOOL WRESTLING,
NOT THIS GARBAGE.

HEY, THIS AIN'T
NO HIGH SCHOOL
SHIT, MAN.

THIS IS
PROFESSIONAL
WRESTLING.

THAT'S MY GUY
RIGHT THERE--

UNCLE SAMSON--

RANKED NUMBER ONE
BY THE PWP
AND THE WPW BOTH.

HE'S FIGHTING
SOME CUBAN GUY
FROM CUBA.

TV: I FEEL FOR SAM NOW.

THIS IS A SAD DAY
FOR UNCLE SAM.

OOH! OH, NO! LOOK OUT!

GET AWAY FROM THERE!

YOU GREASY BASTARD!

COME ON!
GET AWAY FROM THERE!

YEAH!

YEAH!

YOU GO, SAM!

TV: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
I CAN'T WATCH.

SAM'S COMING BACK.
LOOK OUT, CASTROATOR!

WHAT DID
I TELL YOU, AL?

TOUGH, ISN'T HE?

SHAKING OFF
A BLOW TO THE HEAD
LIKE THAT! MAN!

YOU KNOW IT'S
ALL FAKE, DON'T YOU?

WHAT IS?

THE WHOLE THING--
THE KICKS, THE PUNCHES,
THE CHAIR SMASHING--

THEY PLAN OUT EVERY FIGHT--
WHO'S GOING TO WIN
AND WHO'S GOING TO LOSE.

IT'S ALL FAKE.

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.

UH, AL, I KNOW YOU'RE
SMART 'CAUSE YOU GOT
A SCIENTIFIC-STYLE JOB,

BUT YOU'RE NOT USING
COMMON SENSE.

IF THIS FIGHT IS
FAKE AND EVERYBODY
KNOWS IT'S FAKE,

THEN WHY IN THE HELL
WOULD ANYBODY
WASTE THEIR TIME

SITTING AROUND
WATCHING IT?

THAT'S A QUESTION
YOU MIGHT WANT TO
ANSWER ONE DAY, BUCK.

I KNOW THE ANSWER--

AND THIS IS WHAT'S
HAPPENING ALL
OVER AMERICA, AL.

THIS COUNTRY'S
BEING TAKEN OVER
BY SMART PEOPLE

WITH NO COMMON SENSE,

AND THAT'S WHY
I'M OUT HERE, MAN--

JUST ME, MY INSTINCTS,
AND NATURE.

THAT'S ALL YOU NEED.

YOU SEE THAT MOON
UP THERE?

LOOK AT THAT MOON!

SHIT, IN THE CITY
YOU WOULDN'T EVEN
BE ABLE TO SEE THAT!

THREE-QUARTER MOON,

JUST ABOUT TO SLIP
INTO ITS SECOND PHASE.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THAT, AL.

THE INDIANS CALL THAT
A CREAMY CORN MOON.

WHAT ARE YOU
THINKING ABOUT, AL?

WELL, IT'S KIND OF
HARD TO SAY THIS,
BUT I'VE, UH...

STARTED SEEING THINGS.

OH. WELL, WHAT KIND
OF THINGS ARE YOU
SEEING, HUH?

WELL, I'M SEEING THINGS
MOVING...BACKWARDS.

LIKE, SOMEONE POURING
A CUP OF COFFEE,

I'LL SEE THE COFFEE
FLOWING OUT OF THE CUP

BACK INTO THE POT.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YES. AND OTHER
THINGS, TOO.

I SAW A KID RIDING A BIKE,
PEDALING JUST LIKE NORMAL,

EXCEPT HE WAS
MOVING BACKWARDS.

JESUS,
THAT'S WILD, MAN.

YEAH. WELL, I'M A LITTLE
WORRIED, ACTUALLY.

I NEVER KNOW WHEN
IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

WELL, LISTEN, AL,
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

THAT'S THE MAIN THING.

YOU KNOW, THE INDIANS
SAW SHIT ALL THE TIME.

THEY HAD VISIONS
24 HOURS A DAY.

YOU THINK THEY WORRIED
ABOUT IT? HELL, NO.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT
THEM CAR KEYS, EITHER.

WE'LL FIND THEM.
I KNOW RIGHT WHERE
TO LOOK, OK?

HEY, LOOK WHAT THAT
MOON'S DOING OVER THERE.

OH, WATCH THIS.

NOW I GOT A LITTLE
BOX OF MOONLIGHT.

SEE THAT, AL?

SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

Kid: HOW'S
THAT HANGOVER, AL?
IT'S GONE, RIGHT?

WELL, IT'S
STARTING TO GO.

I TOLD YOU, MAN.
IT'S THIS WATER.

FUNNY ABOUT
THEM KEYS, HUH?

I THOUGHT SURE
WE'D FIND THEM.

I'VE GOT ANOTHER
PLAN, KID.

I'LL CALL THE RENTAL
OFFICE WHEN WE GET
BACK TO THE HOUSE.

THEY'LL CALL
A LOCAL LOCKSMITH,

GIVE THEM THE KEY CODE
FOR THE MODEL NUMBER
OF MY CAR,

AND I'LL HAVE A NEW
SET OF KEYS DELIVERED
IN LESS THAN AN HOUR.

DAMN.
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

WHY THE HELL DIDN'T
I THINK OF THAT?

IT'S CALLED
PLANNING AHEAD, KID.

YOU SHOULD
TRY IT SOMETIME.

HEY, HEY, HEY.
LOOK AT THIS.

WHOA.

WHAT IS IT?

YEAH. SOMEONE
WAS HERE YESTERDAY.

MM-HMM.

SIZE 5,
100% COTTON.

MM-HMM.

SHE'S 15...
SHE'S REDHEAD...

EITHER A CHEERLEADER
OR A SWIMSUIT MODEL.

GET THE HELL
OUT OF HERE.

NO, NO.
I'M SERIOUS. SMELL.

I'M NOT GOING TO SMELL
SOMEBODY'S UNDERWEAR.

COME ON, SMELL.
I'LL SHOW YOU
SOMETHING.

SMELL THAT?

WHAT?

THE KIND OF
DRY MUSTARD SMELL

MIXED WITH, LIKE,
A BUBBLEGUM.

SMELL?

MM-HMM.
KEEP SNIFFING.

KEEP SNIFFING.

I DON'T SMELL ANYTHING.

SURE YOU DO.

I DON'T.

OH, COME ON, MAN!
YOUR SENSES
ARE GONE!

TO MY NOSE,
IT'S OVERPOWERING.

YOU SEE THAT?
THAT'S CALLED
SENSORY ATTUNEMENT.

YOU SHOULD
TRY THAT SOMETIME.

OK. I'LL START
SNIFFING UNDERWEAR

EVERY CHANCE I GET,
ALL RIGHT?

LET'S HEAD ON BACK.
I HAVE A CALL TO MAKE.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
GOT TO GET THOSE
NEW KEYS

SO YOU CAN
GET THE HECK
OUT OF HERE.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

NOT WHERE YOU'RE
GOING IN LIFE.

IT'S HOW YOU GET
THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

WHAT'S THAT, AL?

WHERE THE HELL
ARE THESE PEOPLE AT
12:00 IN THE AFTERNOON?

I DON'T KNOW. LUNCH?
TRY THEM IN AN HOUR.

IS THAT GUN LOADED?

YOU BET
YOUR ASS IT IS.

YOU THINK I'M GOING
TO LET THEM F.B.I.
SNEAK UP ON ME?

NO FUCKING WAY.

WELL, JUST BE
CAREFUL WITH IT.

HEY, I KNOW HOW
TO HANDLE A GUN.

OK? DO YOU?

I'VE SHOT A GUN BEFORE.

GOOD. LET'S GO
GET ME A RABBIT
OR SOMETHING.

I'M FUCKING
STARVING.

NO, KID. I HAVE TO
MAKE THIS CALL.
ALL RIGHT?

WE COME BACK
IN AN HOUR,

YOU MAKE
YOUR FUCKING CALL.

HERE.
I'LL GET A SHOTGUN.

PLUS, I GOT TO SHOW
YOU SOMETHING, MAN.

OPEN YOUR EYES UP
BEFORE YOU SPLIT
OUT OF HERE.

WOW.

LOOK AT THAT. WOW.

IT'S A DEER.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

IT'S A FAKE.
IT'S A STATUE.

HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!

IT LOOKED REAL,
THOUGH, DIDN'T IT?

WHO PUT IT HERE?

ME, MAN!
WHO DO YOU THINK?

IT LOOKS GREAT
THERE, REALLY.

IT'S GREAT.

THANKS.

FOR WHAT?

FOR SHOWING IT TO ME.

OH, THAT'S NOT
WHAT I WANTED
TO SHOW YOU.

I GOT SOMETHING.
IT'S GOING TO BLOW
YOUR MIND.

YOU WANTED PROOF?
HERE IT IS.

COME ON.

ALL RIGHT.
HERE WE GO.

YOU WANTED C.I.A.?
I'LL SHOW YOU C.I.A.

WHAT THE HELL...

A C.I.A.
NERVE-GAS FACTORY,
THAT'S WHAT THE HELL.

THEY'RE MAKING NERVE GAS
TO USE IN THE WAR AGAINST
THEIR OWN PEOPLE, OK?

OHH...

JUST BLOWS YOUR MIND.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

I JUST SPENT
TWO DAYS DRIVING
IN A GODDAMN CIRCLE.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

THAT'S THE JOB
I TOLD YOU I WAS
WORKING ON.

CHRIST.
THE CAR-RENTAL PLACE
IS RIGHT IN TOWN.

WHAT ARE YOU T--
WAIT A SECOND.
YOU WORKED HERE?

FOR A MONTH. IT'S NOT
A NERVE-GAS FACTORY.

IT'S A SEMIAUTOMATED
FACILITY FOR THE MANUFACTURE
OF WINDSHIELD WIPERS.

OH, I DON'T
BELIEVE THAT
FOR A SECOND.

ALL RIGHT.
YOU WANT SOME PROOF?

COME ON.
I'LL GIVE YOU
SOME PROOF.

FOLLOW ME.

THIS IS A ZEUS 8000
TURBINE GENERATOR.

IT DOESN'T MAKE NERVE GAS.

IT MAKES ELECTRICITY,

AND THAT ELECTRICITY WAS
GOING TO PROVIDE THE POWER
FOR THE ENTIRE ASSEMBLY LINE.

MAKING
WINDSHIELD WIPERS?

THAT'S CORRECT.

I SUPPOSE IF YOU
EQUIPPED ENOUGH PEOPLE
WITH WINDSHIELD WIPERS,

YOU COULD PROBABLY
TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

HA HA! YEAH.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
WORKED HERE, MAN.

I COULD NEVER
DO THIS SHIT.

DIDN'T YOU HATE IT,

ALWAYS HAVING
SOMEONE TELLING YOU
WHAT TO DO,

SOME ASSHOLE BOSS?

[PEOPLE SHOUTING OUTSIDE]

Kid: HEY, AL?

WHAT?

COME HERE.

THINK YOU CAN HIT
THAT BOTTLE THERE?

IT'S IN FRONT
OF THE WINDOW.

YOU CAN'T HIT IT.

WHOA!

HEY, CLOSE.

THAT WAS CLOSE, AL.
LET ME TRY.

YEAH!

JESUS CHRIST, KID,
THAT'S AN $800 WINDOW.

OH, BABY!

THAT'S $1,600
RIGHT THERE!

HEY, WHAT'S IN
THOSE CANS, AL?

PAINT.

YOU SURE?

YEAH, THAT'S PAINT,
ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT!

YEAH!

YEAH! YEAH!

RELOAD!

WINDOWS!

[GUNSHOT]

[GUNSHOT]

3,200!

Kid: YEAH!

SHAZAM!

Kid: WHOA!

[LAUGHTER]

I'M TELLING YOU,
THIS DOG COULD
CLIMB TREES.

I'M SERIOUS.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

HE WOULD JUST
TAKE OFF AND RUN
RIGHT UP THE TRUNK.

WHAT WAS HIS NAME?

BARKY. HE WAS
JUST A MUTT.

HE WAS ALL WHITE
EXCEPT FOR ONE BLACK EAR.

HE FOUND THIS RUBBER
MONKEY SOMEWHERE,

AND EVERY DAY,
WHEN I CAME HOME
FROM SCHOOL,

HE'D BE SITTING
IN THE FRONT YARD

WITH THAT DAMN MONKEY
IN HIS MOUTH,

WAITING FOR ME
TO THROW IT FOR HIM.

KID, I'M TELLING YOU,
I THREW THAT MONKEY
FOR HOURS.

YOU STILL GOT HIM?

NO.

I LET HIM OUT ONE NIGHT
RIGHT BEFORE I WENT TO BED,

AND WHEN I CAME IN,
HE WAS SHAKING,
BREATHING FUNNY.

I ASKED MY DAD IF
WE SHOULD TAKE HIM
TO THE VET,

AND HE SAID, "NO.
IT'S AFTER 9:00.
IT'S PROBABLY CLOSED.

WE'LL TAKE HIM
IN THE MORNING."

SO WE WENT TO SLEEP,
AND AS SOON AS
IT WAS LIGHT,

I LOOK UNDER MY BED
BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE
BARKY ALWAYS SLEPT,

AND I SAW HIS TONGUE
STICKING OUT, ALL BLACK.

I TOUCHED HIM,
AND HE WAS ALREADY HARD,

LIKE THERE WAS CEMENT
UNDER HIS FUR.

HE WAS--
HE WAS DEAD.

MY DAD SAID HE MUST
HAVE EATEN SOME POISON.

YOUR DAD'S
A FUCKING ASSHOLE!

WHY?

HE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN
HIM TO THE VET!

I DON'T CARE
WHAT TIME IT WAS!
HE WAS YOUR DOG, AL!

GODDAMN IT, MAN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

KID, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

KID?

KID!

Al: YOU LOST A HUBCAP
OVER THERE.

GOOD. THEY'RE OPEN.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[BELL JINGLES]

HOW DID YOU LOSE THEM,
MR. FOUNTAIN?

CARELESSNESS,
I'M AFRAID, DORIS.

WHERE IS THE CAR NOW?

IT'S SAFE AND SOUND.
IT'S AT MY FRIEND'S
HOUSE.

IT'S A FEW MILES
OUTSIDE OF TOWN.

I'M GOING TO HAVE
TO CHARGE YOU A $25
KEY-REPLACEMENT FEE.

FAIR ENOUGH.

$25.

I HOPE, FOR YOUR SAKE,
YOU DON'T LOSE THESE.

MR. FOUNTAIN?

MR. FOUNTAIN?

HOLD ON, DORIS.

YOU JUST SAID
SOMETHING THAT WAS
VERY, VERY SMART.

WHAT?

WELL, WHY SHOULD I SPEND
MY LAST TWO DAYS HERE

WORRYING ABOUT
LOSING KEYS,

ESPECIALLY SINCE
MY FRIEND HAS A CAR?

I AM GOING TO GIVE
YOU DIRECTIONS,

AND WHAT
I'D LIKE YOU TO DO

IS TO DELIVER
THESE KEYS TO ME

BRIGHT AND EARLY
ON THURSDAY MORNING.

WE DON'T HAVE
A KEY-DELIVERY SERVICE,
MR. FOUNTAIN.

I SEE.

BUT IF YOU DID...

I BET YOU WOULD HAVE
SOME KIND OF
KEY-DELIVERY FEE.

DORIS?

HAVE A NICE DAY.

JUST MY LUCK.
SOMEONE BROKE IN
THIS MORNING

AND STOLE ALL
THE GODDAMN KEYS.

YOU'RE KIDDING ME.

WHAT ABOUT THEM
KEY CODES YOU
TOLD ME ABOUT?

THE BASTARD
STOLE THEM, TOO.

SOONEST THEY CAN
GET ME ANOTHER SET
IS THURSDAY MORNING.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO?

FIND A HOTEL, I GUESS.
I DON'T KNOW.

I SUPPOSE YOU COULD
STAY AT MY PLACE.

I--I APPRECIATE
THAT, KID,

BUT I'LL ONLY
STAY AT YOUR PLACE
ON ONE CONDITION.

YOU LET ME
BUY YOU SOME FOOD.

I GOT FOOD.

YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT MAYBE
WE COULD DO A LITTLE
FOURTH OF JULY THING.

YOU KNOW, BARBECUE CHICKEN,
MAKE SOME HAMBURGERS.

YOU LIKE
CORN ON THE COB?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THAT'S NATURE'S
PERFECT FOOD.

GOOD. CHICKEN,
HAMBURGERS,
CORN ON THE COB.

BEER?
JELLY DOUGHNUTS?

WATERMELON.

FIREWORKS!

HEY, THAT'S NOT
A BAD IDEA.

WE'LL GET
SOME SPARKLERS.

SPARKLERS?
ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?

I GOT A WHOLE BOX
OF FIREWORKS, MAN--
REAL ONES.

I'M AFRAID
THOSE ARE ILLEGAL.

HA HA HA HA!

WHAT ABOUT BREAKFAST
SUPPLIES, KID?

WE'RE RUNNING
A LITTLE LOW.

YEAH. GOOD IDEA.

OH, HERE WE GO.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

MY TREAT, KID.

WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED?
LUNCHEON MEATS?

YEAH, YEAH,
AND JELLY DOUGHNUTS.

JELLY DOUGHNUTS?

YEAH.
GOT TO HAVE THEM.

ALL RIGHT.

OH, I'M SORRY.

WATCH WHERE
YOU'RE GOING.

I'M SORRY.

WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

OH, NOTHING.

WELL, THEN,
GET THE FUCK
OUT OF HERE, MAN.

THANKS.

SURE.
DON'T MENTION IT.

[PEOPLE TALKING
EXCITEDLY]

Woman: JESUS!

Kid: HEY, BUD,
WHAT'S GOING ON?

Man: SOMEONE JUST SAW
JESUS ON THAT SIGN.

WHERE?

IN THE FIRE,
RIGHT BELOW THE HAMBURGER.
COME ON, HONEY.

Kid:
GET OUT OF HERE.

[PEOPLE TALKING
INDISTINCTLY]

Kid: YOU SEE
ANYTHING, AL?

NO.

ME NEITHER.

DAMN IT, I ALWAYS
JUST MISS THOSE THINGS.

YEAH! TAKE THAT,
SADDAM INSANE!

YEAH!
HA HA HA HA!

YEAH, YOU.

WE GOT BACK
TO THE PLANT TODAY

AND FOUND SOME VANDALS
HAD BROKEN IN
WHILE WE WERE GONE

AND DID SOME MINOR
DAMAGE TO THE TURBINES.

I'M AFRAID
WE'RE GOING TO BE
DELAYED ANOTHER DAY.

LET ME GET THIS
STRAIGHT, AL.

FIRST YOU SAID
YOU WERE COMING IN
ON THE FIFTH.

THEN YOU SAID THE THIRD.
THEN IT WAS THE FOURTH.

NOW, AFTER ALL THIS TALK
ABOUT COMING HOME EARLY,

YOU'RE TELLING ME
YOU WON'T BE COMING HOME
UNTIL THE FIFTH.

THAT'S CORRECT, DEB.
EARLY AFTERNOON
ON THE FIFTH,

AND I JUST WANT TO SAY,
I REALLY LOOK FORWARD
TO SEEING YOU.

WELL, AL,
GUESS I'LL SEE YOU
ON THE FIFTH, THEN--

OR THE SIXTH OR THE EIGHTH
OR THE TENTH OR WHENEVER
THE HELL IT IS

THAT YOU FEEL LIKE
COMING HOME.

HERE'S YOUR SON.

HERE.
IT'S YOUR DAD.

HI, DAD.

HI, BOB. MOM'S IN
A BAD MOOD?

I THINK SO.

I TELL YOU WHAT.

I'VE ONLY GOT
A SECOND HERE.
I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY.

LET'S JUST DO
AN EASY ONE.

WHAT'S 12 X 2?

BOB, COME ON, NOW.
THAT'S AN EASY ONE.
12 X 2.

I DON'T KNOW.

BOB,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NOTHING.

ARE YOU CRYING?

NO, SIR.

HEY, HEY, HEY, BOB,
COME ON, NOW.

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.
THERE'S NOTHING TO BE
UPSET ABOUT.

EVERYTHING'S FINE.

JUST KEEP AT THOSE
FLASHCARDS.

YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT, OK?

OK.

TV: AND A MIRACLE
HAPPENED TODAY,

ACCORDING TO WILLARD SNARP
OF DRIP ROCK,

WHO CLAIMS TO HAVE SEEN
THE FACE OF JESUS
ON A BILLBOARD

OUTSIDE THE BIG LUCKY
SHOPPING CENTER ON ROUTE 17.

IT'S JESUS, ALL RIGHT,
DRESSED IN MODERN CLOTHES,

WEARING A SUIT
AND A BOW TIE.

Reporter:
CAN YOU POINT
HIM OUT TO US?

THERE, IN THE FLAMES.

RELIGIOUS EXPERTS
FROM THE VATICAN
WILL ARRIVE ON MONDAY

TO AUTHENTICATE
THE SIGHTING. TINA?

IN OTHER RELIGIOUS NEWS,
POLICE TODAY ARRESTED
A LOCAL MINISTER,

CHARGING HIM WITH
A BRUTAL TRIPLE MURDER.

POLICE SAY
REVEREND LUVVEN CODDLE
OF NEETERBORO

ENTERED THE HOME OF EARL
AND LINDY SYKES LAST NIGHT

AND HACKED THEM TO DEATH
WITH A SMALL AX.

THEIR 6-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER
MANDY WAS ALSO KILLED.

NEIGHBORS TOLD POLICE
THE SYKES HAD
RECENTLY WITHDRAWN

FROM REVEREND CODDLE'S
CHURCH OF HOPE AND LIGHT.

Kid: HEY,
SHUT THE FUCK UP!

GODDAMN IT.

GODDAMN IT!

KILLING A
6-YEAR-OLD GIRL.

OH, WHAT THE HELL
IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE,
MAN?

IT MAKES YOU WANT TO
JUST GET A MACHINE GUN
AND DO SOMETHING.

HEY, DON'T OPEN THAT!

WHY NOT?

YOU'LL LET
THE MOONLIGHT OUT, MAN.

COME ON. USE YOUR HEAD.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

DON'T YOU KNOW
A BAR IN TOWN?

COME ON.
I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK.

HEY, GOOD IDEA.
I'M SICK OF SITTING
AROUND THIS PLACE.

[GLASS BREAKING]

[PEOPLE TALKING
AND LAUGHING]

Kid: HEY, STINKY.

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

BARNETT.

THIS IS
MY BEST FRIEND,
AL FOUNTAIN.

AL'S A NUCULAR
ENGINEER.

ELECTRICAL,
ACTUALLY.

FIELD INSTALLATION OF
ZEUS TURBINE GENERATORS.

WHAT LINE OF WORK
ARE YOU IN, STINKY?

I WORK OVER
AT THE CAR WASH.

OH, REALLY?
DOING WHAT?

WASHING CARS.
WHAT DO YOU
FUCKING THINK?

GOOD. HOW ABOUT YOU,
BARNETT?

CESSPOOLS.
GOT MY OWN TRUCK.

HEY, IS THIS
YOURS, STINKY?

NO.

Al: IN CESSPOOLS.
MY WIFE HAS TWO UNCLES
IN CESSPOOLS.

THEY DON'T
GET ALONG AT ALL.
BIG CESSPOOL PEOPLE.

[TRUCK DOORS CLOSE]

Kid: HEY, WICK.
HEY, DOOB.

Man: DAVY FUCKHEAD.

YOU HEAR
ABOUT JESUS?

FUCK YOU.

ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?

NO, WICK.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?

YOU THREW
ANOTHER MATCH AT ME.

NO, WICK. ALL I GOT
IS A LIGHTER, SEE?

Al: ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S IT, GODDAMN IT.

Wick: GET THE FUCK
OUT OF HERE!

Kid: I'M GOING
TO KILL YOU, MOTHER--

AAH!

ALL RIGHT, LITTLE DAVY.
COME ON!

COME ON!

Kid: NO, WICK. DON'T.
DON'T, WICK.

YOUR STUPID HAT!

ALL RIGHT, DOOB,
LET'S GET A BEER.

HEY, GUYS.
WHAT'S UP, BOBBY?

[GRAVEL CRUNCHING]

Kid: FUCKERS.
THESE FUCKING...

EASY.

THEY GOT US, MAN.

JUST TAKE IT EASY.

THEY GOT US, MAN.

AL, I WANT YOU
TO GO IN THE WOODS.

I WANT YOU TO GET
SOME BLOOD WEED.

I'LL JUST SIT
AND REST HERE
FOR A MINUTE.

THEN WE'RE
GOING TO SNEAK

INTO WICK'S HOUSE
WHEN HE'S ASLEEP,

AND WE'RE GOING
TO SMEAR THAT SHIT
ALL OVER HIM.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
BLOOD WEED?

HIS FACE
AND HIS MOUTH
AND HIS EYES.

HE EVER STOPS
BLEEDING, HE'S
GOING TO BE BLIND...

ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, NOW.

FOR THE REST
OF HIS LIFE.

WE'LL SEE THAT FUCKER
JUMP EVERY TIME
I LIGHT A MATCH.

LET ME TAKE A LOOK
AT YOU, ALL RIGHT?

I'M ALL RIGHT.

COME ON, GET GOING.
TAKE A FLASHLIGHT, AND
WEAR SOME GLOVES, OK?

LISTEN TO ME, KID.
WE'RE NOT GOING TO GO
ANYWHERE, ALL RIGHT?

WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO HELP ME?

I AM TRYING--
I AM TRYING
TO HELP YOU.

NOW, CUT THIS CRAP OUT.

ALL RIGHT,
I'LL DO IT MYSELF.

KID, COME ON, NOW.
CALM DOWN.

CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN?
CALM DOWN?

AT LEAST YOU CAN
HELP ME, MAN!

WHY AREN'T YOU GOING
TO FUCKING HELP ME?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE
MY FRIEND, MAN.

WHY AIN'T YOU GOING
TO HELP ME?

YOU FUCKING
HELP ME!

YOU FUCKING HELP ME.

YOU FUCKING
HELP ME, MAN!

KID, KID...

HELP ME, MAN.

[SOBBING]

ALL RIGHT.
TAKE IT EASY.
COME ON.

TAKE IT EASY.

TAKE IT EASY.
COME ON. COME ON.

COME ON.

[SPLASH]

WHAT'S THE MATTER, AL?

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE THIS WHOLE
TRIP OF MINE WAS
JUST A BIG MISTAKE.

[PEOPLE TALKING
INDISTINCTLY]

HEY, PURLENE,
HERE'S YOUR UNDERWEAR.

ARE THEY DRY?

I DON'T KNOW.

ALMOST.

Kid: AHEM.

[GRUNTS]

WHOO!

[KID GRUNTING]

HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING?

NAME'S BUCKY,
BY THE WAY.

YOU CAN CALL ME THE KID
OR JUST KID--

ANYTHING YOU WANT
TO CALL ME.

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

Girl: FLOATIE.

SISTERS?
HEY, GET OUT OF TOWN.

HEY, AL,
COME ON OVER!

COME ON! THEY WANT
TO TALK TO YOU.

COME ON.

Kid: WHEW.

HOW ABOUT
THAT WATER, HUH?

AL,
THIS IS PURLENE--

PURLENE AND FLIGHTY.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

WE SAW THEM IN
THE STORE YESTERDAY,
REMEMBER?

WHAT WERE YOU
CRYING ABOUT?

OH, WELL,
I LOST MY JOB.

IT WAS A REALLY
GOOD ONE, TOO.

I JUST--I DIDN'T--
I ONLY WAS THERE
FOR ABOUT A--

Kid: THEY'RE SISTERS.
ISN'T THAT CRAZY?

SISTERS? REALLY?
VERY NICE.

Purlene:
WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

CHICAGO.

Kid: AL'S A
NUCULAR ENGINEER.

ELECTRICAL,
ACTUALLY--

FIELD INSTALLATION
OF ZEUS TURBINE
GENERATORS.

SOME PEOPLE CAN GIVE
AN ELECTRIC SHOCK

JUST BY LOOKING
AT YOU.

WHAT ABOUT YOU,
BUTTERCUP?

YOU A SWIMSUIT MODEL?

WHAT?

YOU ARE, AREN'T YOU?

COME ON, NOW.
FESS UP, GIRL.

LOOK, BUDDY,
I WORK OVER AT
DEEVER'S TIRE SERVICE,

AND I HATE
TO SAY IT,

BUT I THINK
IT'S TIME
YOU CAME IN

AND GOT YOUR FUCKING
WHEELS REBALANCED.

YEAH.
HA HA HA.

I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING.

YOU USED TO BE
A CHEERLEADER,
DIDN'T YOU?

IN THE FOURTH
FUCKING GRADE.

AND YOUR HAIR'S
NOT REALLY BLONDE,
IS IT?

YES, IT IS.

NO, IT ISN'T.

HER HAIR'S RED.
SHE'S A REDHEAD.

SHE'S GOT
A BRIGHT RED BUSH.

I DON'T BELIEVE
YOU SAID THAT.

ALL RIGHT, AL.
I'M NOT GOING
TO SAY ANYTHING.

SO WHAT'S WITH YOU GUYS?
WERE Y'ALL IN A CAR WRECK?

Kid: NO. WE GOT
JUMPED LAST NIGHT
OVER AT BAMBI'S

BY 6 FUCKING
SAILORS.

WHAT KIND OF SAILORS?

I AIN'T NEVER SEEN
NO SAILORS IN DRIP ROCK.

WASN'T IT
SAILORS, AL?

NO. THEY WERE MARINES.
5 OF THEM.

THAT'S A
GREAT MOVIE--
GREEN BERETS.

DID YOU EVER SEE
THAT MOVIE?
I REALLY LIKED IT.

JOHN WAYNE,
A JAPANESE GUY,
AND, UH, KIM DARBY.

DAMN, IT'S HOT.
I'M BURNING UP.

JUMP IN THE WATER,
THEN, FIREBALL.

Kid: YEAH,
BUT I MIGHT TAKE
MY SUIT OFF.

Purlene: LOOKS LIKE
UNDERWEAR TO ME.

Floatie: WELL,
HE'S WEARING
UNDERWEAR, TOO,

AND YOU CAN SEE
RIGHT THROUGH IT.

YEAH, I NOTICED THAT.

YEAH? SO WE'RE WEARING
UNDERWEAR. SO WHAT?

WE'RE JUST WEARING THEM
BECAUSE YOU'RE HERE.
USUALLY WE GO NAKED.

SO DO WE.

YEAH? THEN LET'S ALL
TAKE OUR SUITS OFF, OK?

IS THAT ALL RIGHT
WITH EVERYONE?

[SIGHS]

YEAH. GO AHEAD.

WHERE YOU GOING?

I'M GOING TO
JUMP OFF THIS ROCK.

IS THAT ALL RIGHT
WITH YOU?

Kid:
EVER TRY IT NAKED?

Purlene: ALL RIGHT,
LOOK, PECKERHEAD.

I AIN'T TAKING OFF
THE SUIT, SO JUST
FORGET ABOUT IT.

Kid:
COME ON, GIRL.

Purlene:
WHOO! WHOO!

Kid: YEAH!

YEAH!

Purlene:
LOOK AT YOU.

YOU CAN'T EVEN SWIM.

Kid: SURE I CAN!

WHAT DO YOU THINK
I'M DOING NOW?

Purlene: THAT'S
THE FUCKING DOG PADDLE.

MY NAME'S FLOATIE,
NOT FLIGHTY.

OH.

OK.

[SWIMMERS LAUGHING
AND SHOUTING]

EXCUSE ME FOR
A SECOND, FLOATIE.

I'VE...GOT TO
CHECK SOMETHING.

Purlene:
HEY, FLOATIE,

COME ON IN
AND HELP ME DROWN
THIS HERE STRAY DOG.

Kid: YEE-HA!

Purlene: YOW!

[KID BARKING]

Purlene: YEAH!

Kid: COME ON, AL!

MAYBE LATER.

Purlene:
I THINK IT CAME OFF
IN THAT JUMP!

[LAUGHTER]

IF YOU DON'T WANT
TO PARADE AROUND
IN YOUR WET UNDERWEAR,

YOU DON'T HAVE TO, AL.

IT'S YOUR CHOICE.

EACH MAN CAN
CHOOSE HOW HE MARCHES
IN THE PARADE OF LIFE.

AL FOUNTAIN, WEDNESDAY,
JULY FOURTH, 1:05 P.M.

Purlene: 2, 3!

Kid: WHOO!
GO ON, GIRL!

Kid: WHOO!

[BARKING]

SISTERS.

YOU GO, SISTERS!

WHOO!

OOHHH!

Kid: YEAH!
COME ON, AL!

Floatie: 1, 2, 3.

GO!

WHOO!

YEAH!

COME ON, KID!

OH, MAN!

YEAH!

THAT SMELLS GOOD.

HEY! ALL RIGHT.

WHAT'S WITH
THE CORN, AL?

WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE A POT,
SO WE'LL JUST TOSS THEM IN.

THEY'LL COOK
THAT WAY?

OH, YEAH.
ABOUT 15, 20 MINUTES.

WOW. HEY.

HEY, WHERE'S
THAT WEIRD TAPE
OF YOURS?

THE GIRLS MIGHT
LIKE IT.

WHAT GIRLS?

PURLENE AND FLIGHTY.
I INVITED THEM OVER
FOR DINNER.

WHY?

WELL, THEY WEREN'T
DOING ANYTHING,

AND FLOATIE'S
STILL FEELING
A LITTLE LOW.

SHE KIND OF
LIKES YOU, AL.

DOES SHE?

YEP. PURLENE
TOLD ME SO.

KID, LET'S GET SOMETHING
SQUARED AWAY RIGHT NOW.

I'M A MARRIED MAN.

I DON'T MAKE A HABIT
OF FOOLING AROUND

WITH EVERY WOMAN
WHO KIND OF LIKES ME.

AL, I'M GLAD
TO HEAR THAT, MAN.

REALLY.

NOW, WHERE'S
THE TAPE?

LOOK IN THE CAR.

Floatie: THANK YOU
FOR INVITING US.

I REALLY LIKE
YOUR HOUSE.

Kid: THANKS.

YOU GOT
A KITCHEN AREA,

A LIVING ROOM,
A DINING ROOM.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

AL'S GONNA COME IN HERE
AND DO A WHOLE JOB ON IT.

HE'S GONNA DO THE WHOLE
SELF-SUFFICIENT THING

SO I GET THE SOLAR POWER,
I GET THE WHOLE THING.

HE'S GONNA PUT THE JAZZ IN,
THE POOL TABLE,
THE THIS AND THE THAT.

'CAUSE AL KNOWS ABOUT THAT.
HE'S A NUCLEAR ENGINEER.

YOU KNOW, AL AND I
DO PORNO FILMS.

ON OUR FREE TIME,
OF COURSE.

HA HA HA!

GOT 3 MORE BURGERS
COOKING OVER THERE.

HOW ABOUT IT, FLIGHTY?

FLOATIE.

I'M SORRY. PURLENE?

NO, NOT ME.

I GOT MY JEANS
UNBUTTONED NOW.

YEAH?

LET'S SEE.

OH! GET OUT
OF HERE, MAN.

HE'S LIKE
A GODDAMN DOG.

Floatie: HE IS.

REMEMBER--
REMEMBER SNEAKY?

REMEMBER THAT
LITTLE STRAY,

USED TO SLEEP
IN THE GARAGE?

Purlene: OH, YEAH--
WITH THAT ONE EAR
THAT NEVER WENT DOWN.

SAME HAIR...

SAME EYE.

WELL, YOU ALL LOOK
PRETTY GREAT YOURSELVES.

DON T THEY, AL?

VERY NICE.

I NEVER
DID HAVE CORN
COOKED THIS WAY.

OH, THAT'S AL.

HE MADE THE CORN
AND THE CHICKEN,

BUT I COOKED
THE BURGERS.

YOU BOYS WOULD MAKE
SOME GOOD HUSBANDS.

YEAH, WE PROBABLY WOULD.

TOO BAD WE AIN'T
LOOKING FOR ANY.

HA HA HA HA.
WELL, WE'RE NOT EITHER.

BESIDES, AL IS
ALREADY MARRIED.
RIGHT, AL?

DO YOU
NOT FEEL WELL?

ACTUALLY, MY HEAD HAS
STARTED HURTING ME AGAIN.

HERE.

TAKE ONE OF THESE.

WHAT ARE THEY?

IT'S JUST ASPIRIN,

A LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA.

Al: THANK YOU.

YEAH. I GOT
A HEADACHE, TOO.

WELL,
HELP YOURSELF.

FLOATIE?

YEAH. I FEEL
A HEADACHE COMING ON.

Al: WELL, EXCUSE ME.
I'VE GOT TO TEND THE FIRE.

Kid: POW! POW!
POW, POW!

POW!
GET UP THERE!

GET UP THERE!

BE CAREFUL NOW,
THERE, KID.

YEAH!

WOW!

BETTER THAN FUCKING
SPARKLERS, HUH?

HA HA HA! YEAH!

[SHOUTING AND LAUGHING]

SPACE ROCKETS
TO THE MOON!

AND URANUS!

[FIREWORKS WHISTLING
AND POPPING]

HAH!

OH!

HEY!

Kid: LOOK AT
THAT, PURL.

NIAGARA FALLS,

FOURTH OF JULY,
RIGHT IN MY FRONT YARD.

WATCH THIS, Y'ALL!

LOOK AT THIS, MAN.

I GOT ME A FLAMETHROWER.

TAKE THAT, MAN.
TAKE THAT!

YES! YES!

[GIRLS LAUGHING]

HEY.

HEY, YOU FEELING
ALL RIGHT, AL?

OH, YEAH.
I FEEL FINE.

I JUST FIGURED
SOMETHING OUT.

THIS WHOLE BACKWARD
PHENOMENON OF MINE

STARTED THE DAY
I NOTICED MY FIRST
GRAY HAIR.

[DOG BARKING]

YOU SEE THAT?

IT'S ME.
I AM DOING IT.

I AM TRYING
TO STOP TIME!

WHOA, MAN,
THAT'S HEAVY!

HA HA HA!

WOW! HEY, MAN,
YOU DON'T LIKE FLOATIE?

WHAT?

FLOATIE. SHE THINKS
YOU DON'T LIKE HER

'CAUSE OF THAT MARK
ON HER FACE.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
WHERE IS SHE?

SHE'S OVER THERE
AT THE DINNER TABLE.

Al: ALL RIGHT.

I'M GOING TO GO
TALK TO HER, KID,

LET HER KNOW
EVERYTHING'S FINE HERE.

OK?

THANKS.

YOU'RE
ALL RIGHT, KID.

I MEAN IT.
YOU REALLY ARE.

SO DON'T WORRY.
I'M GOING TO
GO OVER THERE NOW,

AND I'M GOING
TO GET EVERYTHING
SQUARED AWAY.

WHERE WERE YOU
WORKING, FLOATIE?

UH, I WAS
IN PHONE SALES.

OH, REALLY.
OFFICE SUPPLIES OR
CLOTHING CATALOGS?

SEX.

EXCUSE ME?

PHONE SEX?

COMPANY CALLED, UM...
LOVE PHONE.

YOU EVER HEARD OF IT?

NO. I'M, UH,
I'M AFRAID I HAVEN'T.

IT WAS THE PERFECT
JOB FOR ME.

I'M KIND OF
A QUIET PERSON, AL.

I LIKE TO JUST
SIT AROUND AND...

THINK UP THINGS--

YOU KNOW, FANTASIES--

NOT ALL OF THEM
ABOUT SEX.

I GOT A WHOLE BUNCH
OF STORIES IN MY MIND

ABOUT A PRINCESS
WHO CAN KILL PEOPLE
JUST BY LOOKING AT THEM.

BUT SHE ONLY DOES IT
TO GUYS WHO ARE MEAN TO HER,

BECAUSE THERE ARE A LOT
OF NICE GUYS OUT THERE.

I KNOW. I TALKED
TO A LOT OF THEM
ON THE PHONE.

Purlene, giggling:
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
TRYING TO DO?

WHY WERE YOU FIRED?

THEY TRIED ME FOR A WEEK,

BUT, UM, GUYS KEPT
HANGING UP ON ME.

I GUESS I'M JUST
ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE
WHO AREN'T SEXY...

EVEN IF IT IS
JUST OVER THE PHONE.

NOW, HOLD ON
A SECOND, FLOATIE.

I THINK
YOU'RE EXAGGERATING
A LITTLE BIT THERE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, I THINK
YOU'RE...

SEXY.

Kid: OH!
TURN THAT TAPE OVER.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Kid: WHOA!

WHOA!

Al: HERE WE GO.

HEY, MAN.

ALL RIGHT, AL!

Al: HUH!

Kid: HEY, HEY!

RIGHT ON.

RIGHTEOUS, MAN.

ALL RIGHT.

HA HA HA!

COME ON.

SHAKE THAT THING.

OVER HERE.
COME ON.

Purlene: YOU IDIOT.
PUT THAT DOWN!

Purlene: WHOO!

Kid: WHOA!

[WHISTLES]

YEAH! THERE YOU GO.
TAKE IT OFF, GIRL.

LOOKING GOOD.

WHOO! OH, YEAH!

SEXY, SEXY, SEXY!

HA HA HA!

WHOO!

YEAH!

Purlene:
HEY, CHECK IT OUT!

AL'S GETTING NAKED!

Kid: GET HER, AL!

WHOO!

GO, KID!

WHOA!
HA HA HA!

[SONG ENDS]

MR. FOUNTAIN?

Al: GOOD MORNING, DORIS.
HOW ARE YOU?

I BROUGHT YOUR EXTRA
SET OF CAR KEYS,
MR. FOUNTAIN.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR BRINGING THEM OUT.

I WON'T GET UP
BECAUSE I'M NOT DRESSED.

YOU COULD JUST LEAVE THEM
ON THE BED, PLEASE.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, DORIS.
I APPRECIATE IT.

DID YOU WANT
TO BUY SOMETHING, MA'AM?

I GOT SOME BIRDS THERE.
GIRAFFE?

A BEAUTIFUL
RUBBER SNAKE.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

OH! CAREFUL.

Doris: OH!

I'M LETTING THAT GO
FOR ABOUT 25.

OH, SHUT UP!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I GOT THE CIRCLE
SUBSTITUTE SET
NUMBER 1225-A.

WAS THAT THE
RENT-A-CAR CHICK?

YEAH, YEAH.

OH, MAN, I THOUGHT
SHE WAS A CUSTOMER.

YEAH. DORIS.

Doris: THE HELL
WITH BOTH OF YOU!

WELL, IT WAS NICE
TO MEET YOU, AL.

YOU, TOO, FLOATIE.

[LAUGHING]

JESUS, LET ME
GET A BREATH!

SORRY. I JUST
WANTED SOMETHING
TO REMEMBER YOU BY.

WHAT, ARE YOU
LEAVING THE COUNTRY?

NO. WHY? YOU WANT TO
COME OVER TONIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW.

I TELL YOU
ONE THING, THOUGH.

I AIN'T SLEEPING
IN NO GODDAMN CHAIR.

WELL,
I GOT SOME BEDS.

BYE, BUCKY.

BYE, BABY.

Purlene: HEY, GET AWAY
FROM THE CAR, MAN.

I MEAN IT.

Kid:
I'M HANGING ON!

WHOA!

OH, BE CAREFUL!

I'M ALL RIGHT.

BYE-BYE, BABY!

WHOO!

[ENGINE STARTS]

THERE YOU GO, AL.
YOU'RE OUT OF HERE.

I GUESS SO, KID.

HEY, LISTEN,
YOU EVER DOWN
THIS WAY AGAIN,

YOU JUST
DROP IN, OK?

I MEAN, ANYTIME.
I MEAN IT.

WILL DO, KID,
AND YOU'VE GOT MY NUMBER.

IF YOU EVER
GET TO CHICAGO,

GIVE ME A CALL.

ALL RIGHT. SURE.
HEY, I MIGHT GET
OUT THERE ONE DAY.

WELL, GOOD-BYE, KID.

SO LONG, AL.

OH, WAIT A SECOND.

JUST A LITTLE MOMENTUM
FROM YOUR STAY HERE.

THANKS, KID.

HA HA HA!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF.

HEY,
YOU KNOW ME, AL.

[BLUES PLAYING]

HA HA HA!

* I HAD THE BLUES
'FORE SUNRISE *

* TEARS SETTLING IN MY EYES

* I HAD THE BLUES
BEFORE SUNRISE *

* TEARS SETTLING IN MY EYES

* IT WAS A MISERABLE
OLD FEELING, NOW, BABY *

* A FEELING I DO DESPISE

* I'VE GOT TO LEAVE
YOU, BABY *

* YOU KNOW YOU DONE ME WRONG

* I'VE GOT TO LEAVE
YOU, BABY *

* DON'T YOU KNOW
YOU DONE ME WRONG *

* I GOT TO PACK UP
AND LEAVE YOU, DARLIN' *

* AND BREAK UP
MY HAPPY HOME *

9 TIMES 8 IS...22.

HEY, THERE.
HOW'S IT GOING, BOB?

GOOD.

I HAVE THEM
MEMORIZED, DAD.

I ONLY NEED ABOUT
10 MORE MINUTES.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

WHY DON'T WE JUST
PUT THESE ON HOLD
FOR A MOMENT?

THERE'S NO RUSH HERE.

I'LL HELP YOU,
AND WE'LL DO THEM
TOGETHER SOMETIME, OK?

HAVE A SEAT.

Al: SO, YOU HAD
A GOOD FOURTH?

Bob: YES, SIR.

GOOD.

HERE'S
A LITTLE SOMETHING
FOR YOU, BOB.

WHAT IS IT?

YOU'LL FIND OUT.

OK. I'LL SEE YOU
IN A BIT, ALL RIGHT?

[AL HUMMING]

HOW'S HE DOING?

WE DIDN'T
GET INTO IT, DEB.

I FIGURED, YOU KNOW,
WHAT THE HELL?

I JUST GOT HOME.
I'LL DEAL WITH
IT TOMORROW.

GREAT. SOON AS YOU'RE
UNPACKED, WE CAN EAT.

IT'S A LITTLE EARLY,
ISN'T IT?

EARLY?

IT'S 7:00.
YOU ALWAYS EAT AT 7:00.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I FORGOT.

I'M MR. CLOCKWORK.

YEAH, MISTER, UH...

I'M GLAD
YOU'RE HOME, AL.

WELL, DEB,
I'M GLAD TO BE HOME.

I MISSED YOU.

I FOUND THIS
IN THE WOODS.

I THOUGHT YOU COULD
USE IT TO PUT
YOUR JEWELRY IN IT.

JUST CAUGHT MY EYE.

THANKS, AL.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

I THINK SO, TOO.

OH, WHAT IS THIS?

NOW, WHOSE ARE THESE?

[FIREWORKS WHISTLING
AND POPPING]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TRIMARK ENTERTAINMENT

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.

PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS
PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE