Original subtitles

You guys are never going to guess the amazing thing I just got in the mail.

A sack of tarantulas? A sack of scorpions?

No, a sack of unholy tarantula scorpion hybrids.

Is it a rainbow?

How do you two think mail works?

I got accepted into Nature Without Borders at the end of the summer.

It's a nonprofit that sends volunteers

to remote corners of the world to protect ecosystems.

I'll be like a superhero, but for grasslands.

That's amazing, Destiny,

but I thought you were gonna start college after the summer.

I decided to take a gap year and do this instead.

Hold up.

You can take a year off from school?

This is a thing that can be done,

and more people aren't talking about it?

Well, this was fun.

Bill, you're never going to guess the amazing thing I just got in the mail.

I overheard. Congrats!

This sounds like this program will take you to the middle of nowhere.

So if you need tips on roughing it, you let me know.

[scoffs] Tips? I think I know how to rough it

after five summers at camp.

Uh, you have it pretty cushy at Kikiwaka.

Not like the weeks I spend on a cattle drive

with nothing but a horse, a canteen,

and my dry cowboy wit.

Cushy? I sleep in an un-air-conditioned cabin.

With a fan.

I light the campfire every night.

It's gas powered.

I just spent three nights in a tent last week for a camping trip.

And you ran 500 feet of extension cords to the campsite...

for your fan.

It doesn't even oscillate!

Ugh! I was better off talking to Winnie and Jake.

Dad, Destiny told me I don't have to go to school.

Mom, I want to take a gap year for all of junior high.

Actually, it looks like I'll be talking to their parents.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

Hey, Parker, what you up to?

Working on something for camp?

[all laughing]

Good one, Lou.

I know. I figure if I don't laugh about it, I'll cry.

This is all wedding planning for Victoria and my big day.

There's still so much to do, so we can get married

before the end of the summer.

Find a location, find a caterer,

find the money to pay for a location and a caterer.

Ooh, it's happening at the end of the summer?

Yeah, we want to celebrate while all of our camp friends are still in town.

Also, once we're married, I can finally start farting in front of her.

Yours is a love we all aspire to.

Right? Anyways, I better get going.

Our bird vendor says our roaming peacocks are trying to eat each other.

Man! Parker really needs a best man to help him with all this wedding stuff.

I know. I wish he would just ask me and make it official already.

I just bought a top hat, and I am dying to know if I could pull it off.

You? Why do you think he'd possibly pick you over me?

Well, because we're super close.

And he knows how well I run this camp,

so he knows I can help plan the whole wedding.

From mapping out a seating chart

to mapping out the landmines under the soccer field.

I can say that, you signed an NDA.

Parker and I are super close, too, and everyone knows the most important job

of the best man is the best man speech.

And I'll bring down the house.

Literally. The last speech I gave

had a badly rigged balloon drop

and the ceiling collapsed.

Well, it looks like the competition is on then.

May the best best man win.

By the way, are we gonna talk about Parker's cannibal peacocks?

It's the "roaming" that has me worried.

[Winnie] Scout!

Hey, wanna go canoeing?

I've been practicing, and I think I'm ready for the real thing.

I assume this holds up the boat?

Actually, I need your help with our horse, Hunter.

He's mad at me for trying to jump him through a fiery hoop.

It's like he's never been in a talent show.

And I need you to put in a good word for me with the local hummingbirds.

They're so clique-ish, always humming behind my back.

No, Hunter first. He's so mad at me,

he did his business in my riding helmet.

A move he totally stole from me, by the way.

But the next hummingbird soiree is this evening,

and I already made a very sugary quiche Lorraine!

Scout is going to help me.

No, she's gonna help me.

I'm not helping either of you.

What? Why?

Because, uh...

I have lost my ability to communicate with animals.

Yes, that is why.

But that's who you are. It would be like Winnie losing her wildness

or me losing my geniuses-ness.

How did this even happen?

Great question.

You see, I was bit...

while I was sleeping...

by... an iguana.

That's a real animal, so you know it's true.

So an iguana bite took away your ability to talk with animals?

[giggles] Yep, that's what I said.

Let's not relitigate it.

This is terrible!

Now I'll never be the belle of the Hummingbird ball.

I bet the same thing must have happened to me.

I had an iguana growing up, and I can't talk to animals.

That jerk probably bit me while I was sleeping!

The logic is flawless.

I'm really sorry I can't help you

with all your animal problems anymore.

But on the bright side, that frees up more time for using whatever this is.

I refuse to give up so easily.

Jake and I are gonna make it our mission to get your ability back.

Definitely. And with Winnie's fearlessness

and my intelligosity, we can't be stopped!

Uh, it's a paddle.

Oh, look, if it isn't Bill the hater.

I'm not a hater.

I mean, I hate computers and boots that don't hurt

and pumpkin spice and whatever live, laugh, love means...

Hmm, maybe I am a hater.

Well, I just roughed it by doing my laundry in the lake.

Unfortunately, now my clothes have a faint neon glow,

but I think it'll bring out my eyes.

I'd say that was a pretty good start, except...

[sniffs] Fabric softener? Really?

Oh, because to save the planet, my tees need to feel starchy!

Before you go in there...

-[Destiny] Bill! -And you're already in there.

Did you take my bed?

You need to get used to living without luxuries.

How is a mattress filled with old oatmeal a luxury?

I also cut your power, turned off the water

and removed all the mirrors from the cabin.

I threw out your nail polish remover too,

but that's only because I saw a recall on the news.

You took my mirrors? How am I supposed to do my makeup?

Do you really need makeup out in the middle of nowhere?

[gasps] For the sake of our friendship,

I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.

I did cross a line.

This Chinchilla Chutney could use more seasoning.

Noah, could you pass the salt?

Of course.

But of course! I would do anything for you,

because you are my dear friend and...

No, wait, everyone needs to hear this.

We never really know what we're eating at this camp,

but we do know who we can turn to when our tummies start to bubble.

Parker Preston!

A man who will hold your hand through hard times

and hold your hair back after hard meals!

To Parker...

a man worth his salt.

[applause]

Wow, what would you have said if I'd asked for the pepper?

Actually, Parker, I have something I want to say, too.

By all means, I don't understand what's happening, but I'm here for it.

Well, I just, uh, wanted you to know...

that you can use the camp for your wedding venue!

That's right. That's what I said,

and now I gotta let you do it.

Really? You would do that?

This is the perfect place to get married.

This is where Victoria and I met and fell in love, and it's free!

Well, a small cleaning fee might be required, but yes!

I am an extremely helpful friend who's great at problem-solving

and will help ease the difficulties of wedding planning.

Uh-huh! I see you.

That is so generous, Lou.

You know, normally, renting a place like this would cost, like, 10 grand.

Ten grand? [chuckles]

You don't say. [laughs]

Isn't that a fun little tidbit?

I'm gonna go tell my fiancee we got a free venue.

More peacock money!

Well, I think it's safe to say that my extravagant gesture

has just secured my spot as best man.

Not so fast.

Clearly, my speech wowed him first.

I'd say the best man competition to see

which best man will become best man continues.

Which will be me. While you're seated at table 20...

with the cousins.

By the DJ booth speakers?

-Jake, I had a thought. -Lucky.

Look at these superheroes.

Mosquito Max, WolfBoy, Mr. Shark.

What do they all have in common?

Really on-the-nose nicknames?

Yes, and they all gained their superpowers after being bitten by animals and bugs.

And Scout lost her power when she was bitten by an iguana!

-Exactly so maybe-- -It's completely opposite

and in no way relevant to our problem. Nice!

What I'm saying is, it seems like the bites are connected to superpowers,

so maybe Scout can get her ability back

after she gets bitten by an iguana again.

But what are the chances we can find one?

I'd say pretty good. I'm friends with an iguana.

Um, you're friends with an iguana?

Yeah. Joe and I brunch.

Unlike those insular diva hummingbirds.

Okay, I have a lot of questions,

but what the heck, let's go brunch with Joe the Iguana.

Oh!

I... I mean...

Ooh!

What? Is it my makeup?

You took my mirror, so I had to apply it

using my reflection in a puddle.

Was there a stampede running through it at the time?

Is it that bad?

I wanna say no...

but I can't.

Whoa, Destiny. I thought you gave up clowning.

I look like a clown?

Yeah, an angry clown.

It's fine. The woodland creatures I meet

doing Nature Without Borders will appreciate the effort.

But I really need to use the bathroom.

So can you please turn my water back on?

Ooh, that's a no-go.

Indoor plumbing isn't really a "roughing it" thing.

Then where am I supposed to go?

Dig a hole.

But, Bill, it's Chili Dog Day.

Dig it deep.

Hey, Parker, I picked up a lookbook of tuxes

you can choose from for you and your wedding party.

Wow, thanks.

-You're the best. -Best what?

[laughs] Finish the sentence, man.

-Huh? -Nothing. Never mind.

Check out these tuxes and maybe try to imagine the people wearing them.

And, I don't know, say their names

and titles out loud if it feels right.

But first, try these Mound of Brown-inspired hors d'oeuvres I whipped up

for the wedding. I like to call them "amuse splooshes."

I really appreciate you both helping out so much.

I wish there was something I could do to properly thank you.

-There is! -There really is.

[phone beeps]

Oh, man, now? But I'm supposed to lead a hike.

What's wrong? I'll help.

I can fix it. Pick me.

The courier delivering my grandmother's ring is about to arrive.

Aww, the ring you're giving Victoria for the wedding is a family heirloom?

It is. Gramsy said she wants to commemorate this wonderful occasion

since it's unlikely I'll ever make another good decision in my life.

Yeah, I might tell her we eloped.

I can stick around for the ring delivery.

-I'm not busy. -Awesome.

No, I've got this, Noah.

I have nothing to do for the rest of the day.

My entire month is clear!

I am wide open till June 2029!

I feel guilty for having so much going on in my life

when you guys have so little. But thanks!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to try to go prevent some kids

from getting lost in the woods.

Try?

Would you cut me some slack? I have groom brain.

Well, it looks like we've reached the final round of the competition, Lambert.

The best man is the one who holds the ring.

And whoever controls the ring has all the power.

Easy, Gollum!

I'm going to be the one that hands Parker that ring,

and then he'll make me his best man.

We'll see about that, Nasty Hobbitses.

-Are you hearing it? -I'm leaning in now.

[Winnie] Hey, Jake.

Winnie, I told you brunch will be business formal.

You're lucky Joe believes in second chances.

Are you gonna introduce me to your iguana or not?

Of course, I have manners.

Joe, I would like you to meet one of my non-reptile friends,

who doesn't seem to own a respectable blouse.

Nice to meet you, Joe.

I'm Winnie, Portland-born, who loves to play guitar, wanted in several states,

and we're gonna need you to bite our friend, okay? Sweet.

Jeez, Winnie, transactional friendship much?

Let a lizard eat first!

What are those?

Dead flies I found on my windowsill?

Word to the wise, if you're ever saving up flies

for brunch with your lizard friend,

do not store them near your raisins.

The taste lingers.

Hey, Destiny, nice tray of food.

Yeah, I'm so hungry.

Where you're going, you don't need forks.

You know what? This is probably for the best.

My arms are too tired to dig another hole.

In the wilderness, food won't be served to you.

You'll have to find it.

Do you even know which rocks are safe to eat?

Of course, I know what--

Trick question! Rocks aren't edible.

That's not true. What about rock candy?

I expected this from Jake, but from you?

Yeah, I'm disappointed in me, too.

[sighs] Look, if you want to survive in the wilderness,

you will have to step out of your comfort zone.

So today's lunch is...

assorted reptile nuggets.

Reptile?

Now, hear me out. You're going to think they're dry,

and you're going to be right.

This isn't necessary.

Nature Without Borders will send me with food

so I don't need to eat reptile chunks.

What if a bear gets into your camp and eats everything?

It could be weeks before you're resupplied. What then?

Duh, I can eat my moisturizer, it's organic.

[groans] Do I have to? They're not even breaded.

I can't touch their scaly skin

with my outsides, much less my insides.

Reptiles inhabit 99% of the places you might be sent to.

By the way, pro-tip: check your shoes before you put them on.

You might have breakfast hiding in there.

[retches] Ugh!

[exhales] You got this, Baker.

[shudders]

Oh, I can't!

It's giving dirty terrarium.

Come on, Destiny!

This is the sort of thing you have to do to survive in the wilderness.

[sighs] Then I give up.

You win, Bill.

I'm gonna tell Nature Without Borders I can't go.

[sniffs]

Dipping sauces would have helped.

The delivery guy! Give me that ring!

No, it's mine!

Aha! I got it! I won!

Lou, kickball!

Like I'm gonna fall for-- Ow!

Ha-ha! Fate has chosen me.

Let go! It's mine!

Give me my precious!

Whoa! You're really leaning it!

Uh, where'd the ring go?

It must have fallen out.

But I'll find it, for I am fate's chosen son!

Where'd it go? It should be right here.

It's not like somebody stole it.

[squirrel chattering]

Uh-oh, it looks like that squirrel on the roof stole it.

What's it doing with Parker's ring?

Seriously! Squirrels are famous for their fear of commitment.

It's making a break for it!

Follow that squirrel!

You know, two legs would probably be faster.

We evolved for a reason.

Uh-oh! Looks like the squirrel ran into the cactus patch.

-[squirrel chattering] -It's taunting us.

Hot take, this squirrel is a real jerkstore.

It's always the cute, fluffy ones you've got to watch out for.

What do we do now?

Well, there's only one thing to do. You run in after it.

Me? Why me?

Well, you really are better suited to be best man.

I mean, you are, in fact, a man.

Wow, look who's suddenly conforming to outdated gender norms.

And besides, you should be best man

since you and Parker are so close you share a private bathroom.

[chuckles] That means nothing.

If it did, he would remember to put the seat down.

Well, I guess we should both go in.

You're right.

You know, maybe it's like a hot coal situation,

and if we run through super-fast, we won't feel anything.

Yeah, I do acupuncture. How different can this really be?

Okay, one, two...

[both screaming]

[Lou shrieks]

[Noah] This is way different than Eastern medicine.

[Lou] I feel everything!

Hey, giddyup!

Uh, what's going on in here?

I'm just practicing my horseback riding.

Whoa! Easy, girl. Easy.

Uh... Well, good news,

we found an iguana to get your powers back.

Come again?

This is Joe, and he's gonna bite you.

Because he's a good friend.

Jake, that is not an iguana.

It's a Fire Death Dragon.

It's okay, Joe and I don't subscribe to labels.

You don't understand.

One drop of his saliva could take out this whole camp.

Joe, you're poisonous?

We said we had no secrets.

Is our friendship built on lies?

[hisses]

Uh-oh. He's jealous that you brought a new friend to brunch.

And now he's wondering how your neck tastes.

Wait. You can understand, Joe?

Who cares? There's a deadly reptile on my shoulder.

Jake, don't move a--

[screaming]

Hurry! We have to help him!

Hee-yaw!

Um, not a real horse.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Destiny, can we talk?

I'd love to.

Particularly about where you put my bed!

You're not gonna like this, but, uh, I don't remember.

Anyway, I need to apologize for making you feel like you weren't good enough.

[sighs] It's not your fault I can't rough it.

I'm just a delicate suburban clown turned pageant girl.

I'm a walking cliche.

But you can rough it.

You lake-washed your clothes, managed without running water or a mirror,

and did your business in a hole.

A little too close to the hiking trail,

but hey, that's why we wear boots.

But I'm still too scared of reptiles.

Maybe. But if there's one thing I know about Destiny Baker,

it's that you are the most determined person I know,

and you will always rise to the occasion.

I wish I could believe you, but it's not like I'm going to be

confronted with some actual life-or-death

reptile encounter that could prove that.

Deadly reptile! Deadly reptile! Get it off! Get it off!

[screaming]

Come back and I'll turn you into nuggets, you sack of scales!

Someone please have hand sanitizer.

Destiny, you did it! You rose to the occasion! Just like I said!

Not that this is all about me! But I did!

Wow, I guess I can rough it.

Which means, I'm tough enough for Nature Without Borders!

What happened? We just saw Joe rush into the woods.

He was yelling, "This isn't over, revenge will be mine!"

But, maybe he was kidding.

I saved Jake!

Thank you. Your near-death experience was exactly what I needed to conquer my fears.

Don't touch my neck!

Come on, Bill. Let's go find my bed.

I really have a mental block about it.

Scout, how did you talk to Joe?

When did you get your ability back?

Actually, I never lost it. I lied.

What?

First Joe. Now you.

What are you hiding from me?

A lot.

I'm sorry.

I was tired of everyone treating me like animal girl.

I'm so much more.

An apple juice sommelier, a basket-weaving enthusiast,

and I once beat Steph Curry in a three-point contest. I contain multitudes!

We're the ones who should be sorry.

Talking to animals is amazing, but no one would want to do it all the time.

Exactly. I wanna do camp stuff.

What are the chances we can finally go canoeing?

I'd say pretty good...

I'm friends with a canoe, I'll introduce you.

You'll love him! He has a house on the lake!

Whoa! What happened to you two?

It doesn't matter.

Just take this ring before a badger steals it

and hides it in an active volcano.

Look, Parker, we've been fighting all day over who gets to be your best man.

Can you just pick one of us so we can be done with it?

But, I'm not picking one of you...

After all we've done?

I will rain pain down upon you!

...because I'm picking both of you.

-Oh, really? -We're touched. So honored.

You would've known if you just looked up.

I hired a skywriter.

[aircraft buzzing]

L-A-N-W-Y-B-M-B-M-A-B-W-?

What does that even mean?

[scoffs] "Lou and Noah, will you be my best man and best woman?"

It couldn't have been more clear.

So, do you accept?

-[both] We do! -Great!

Your first official duty:

You each babysit a peacock until the wedding.

Do not put them together.

I'm already regretting this.

[ ♪ theme music playing]

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