Original subtitles

Attention, everyone.

You're all invited to come downtown today

to watch my first official speech as mayor of Dusty Tush.

[ALL GROAN]

I'll give you ice cream if you go.

Hey, my first bribe. I'm gonna be a great government official.

Parker, can you take us to the Dusty Diner?

Yeah, we saw Lou's menu and it said "rodents" followed by a question mark.

Sorry, all the stores on Main Street

are closed today for a gymnastics showcase.

And get this, it's featuring world-class athletes

Katelyn Ohashi and Jordan Chiles.

What?No way.

And I'm gonna give a speech.

What?[CHUCKLING] No way.

I shouldn't have closed with that.

Why would two super famous gymnasts come here?

They're doing a tour of small towns across America.

Or they just got lost. Either way, we win.

Jake, we have to go to this.

Well, you're in luck. As the new mayor,

I've been given a few tickets.

Whoa! I can't believe we're really gonna see

Katelyn and Jordan perform.

Jake, it's not enough to just see them.

We have to hang out with them and get their autographs.

This is so cool!

You know what else is cool?

The culmination of a lifelong dream of

really making something of myself.

And finally getting the respect that I so...

And you're gone. [CHUCKLES]

That's awesome.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

So, what do you think?

Am I mayor material or what?

Look at you.

Our recklessly irresponsible

activities director's all grown up.

[INHALES] I won't cry.

But I will remind you to do up your button

because this ain't no hoedown.

Parker, you look great.

Although you shoulda gone with a bolo tie.

I don't trust neckwear without strings.

I really wanna make a great first impression.

Hey, can I practice my speech on you guys?

A monologue?

Without tights?

[CHUCKLES] Okay.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, what it do, brosephs and brosephinas of D-Tush?

It's your mayor, P-Money,

aka Park-Dog,

aka The Poutine Machine.

[MIMICS PARTY HORN]

Let me hit you with some quick facts about myself.

Uh, one, I can do this.

Two, I was born in international waters,

which means I'm beholden to no laws.

Three, I don't know if the second thing is true. Four...

Okay.

As the vast majority

of casting directors have told me,

"We've seen enough."

You don't like it?

Parker, Dusty Tushians are down-to-earth folks

who don't want flash,

or fun Q and A's about maritime law.

Yeah. You need to tailor your message to your audience.

Like when I did Death of a Salesman

for some car dealers, and changed it

to The Celebrated Life of Commission-Based Employees.

Was it a hit?

Let's say yes.

Okay, look.

If I want my first speech as mayor to be a success,

it's clear I need some help.

You two have to fix me before then.

And I'll need you to be brutally honest. Please?

Of course.

Then all right-arinis, bro-collinis.

Let's get this critique sesh, fam.

Stop it.See, this is why I need you.

Destiny, great news.

I figured out a way to make the camp more money.

Bottle the lake water

and sell it to a paint-stripping company?

I already tried. That stuff ate right through the bottles.

Anyway, I've decided to sell some of our unused property.

A buyer's coming for a tour,

so I'll be gone for a while.

Uh-huh, and the swimming class I'm supposed to teach today?

At the lake?

Have fun, and if anyone asks,

the fish are screamin' 'cause they're happy.

Destiny, I need your help.

You didn't swim in the lake, did you?

Of course not. It's bubbling.

It's about Feather Locklear.

According to her,

the chickens have to live in a coop.

Like animals.

Scout, the chickens have always lived in a coop,

and they seem pretty happy.

Does this sound happy to you?

[CLUCKING]

Uh... yes?

She said they're all living in a chicken prison.

We have to release them immediately.

But we can't just have chickens

running free all over camp. It isn't safe.

The last thing we need is to lure more wolves here.

Destiny, I came to you because you're an activist.

I look up to you.

Can you please help the chickens?

Yes, of course.

But a big part of being an activist

is being very thoughtful about what you do

in order to effectively achieve your goals.

And I'll help you to do that,

but it might take some time.

We don't have time.

The chickens are pooping where they sleep.

[SIGH] I was gonna get some bills paid today.

I can't believe we're really here.

I know.

Majestic downtown Dusty Tush,

where a world of wonder awaits around every corner.

Hot dog.

I meant the gymnastics showcase. Look.

That must be where Katelyn and Jordan are.

But backstage is for gymnasts only.

How are we gonna get past the bouncer?

Winnie, Winnie, Winnie. [CHUCKLES]

Everyone has their price.

I'll just grease the wheels with this.

A napkin?

She's pretty, isn't she?

I have a better idea. Just follow my lead.

[SCREAMS]

Nope, he is not scared.

Okay, let's hear what you got for your speech.

Hello...Wrong.

What? All I said was hello.

And it was wrong.

Parker, Dusty Tush is a "howdy" town.

Uh, he's right.

I once greeted the librarian with a "cheerio,"

and she accused me of working for the Redcoats and challenged me to a duel.

Okay. Howdy, folks...

No. You're the mayor,

not a clown juggling pies at a birthday party.

Give me a business howdy.

Okay, here goes. Howdy, folks...

You're not at a funeral, man. Smile!

Howdy, folks...Yikes, did you always have that many teeth?

Try it again, but raise your eyebrows

like you're surprised, but not too surprised.

You had an idea the surprise was coming. Does that make sense?

Not at all.

I'll give it a try.

Howdy...BOTH: No!

There's gotta be a way for us

to sneak past that bouncer

and meet our heroes.

Yeah, if I don't get to meet Katelyn and Jordan,

then I'm just this lovable scamp

who lives life on his own terms. Ugh!

Jake, look.

Clearly, if we wanna get into that room,

we have to be gymnasts.Invisible.

Right, your thing.

How are we gonna trick the bouncer into thinking we're gymnasts?

That's it! If we put on gymnastics uniforms,

the bouncer will let us backstage.

It's like they always say,

"Dress for the caper you want."

Well, if he had rolled up a rack of invisibility suits,

my idea would have worked, too.

Wait, maybe he did.

This is happening. I'm watching this happen.

You know, Scout, I'm really impressed

that you've taken an interest in activism.

Let's spitball some ideas... which is really just a phrase.

I'll probably only like my stuff.

No need. The problem is already solved.

I cut a hole in the coop. Up top.

What?

Now, the chickens can come and go as they please.

Just wait till you see how happy they are.

But they don't have lips,

so look for the smile in their eyes.

Are you sure setting them free was a good idea?

Of course I'm sure.

[SCREAMING]

I'm becoming less sure.

Are those chickens? What are they saying?

A lot of stuff I can't repeat.

And the word "revenge."

[GASPS]

There's chickens. [PANTS] There are so many chickens.

Parker, what happened?

I was heading to town for my speech,

but a bunch of angry chickens cut off the road.

So I tried to go around them,

but they linked wings and created a barricade.

And I know this sounds crazy,

but I think I heard the word "revenge"!

Everyone, run! The chickens have taken over the ranch, and they're coming for us!

I saw some of them sharpening their beaks in the toolshed.

We're doomed!

No! I have to get to town.

Maybe we can go across the lake.

It's no use. The chickens took all the canoes.

One of them was wearing a tiny Viking helmet.

Word is they're pecking and pillaging

up and down Tush County.

[GASPS]

Okay. I'm starting to see why the coop was a good idea.

Here they come.

That's not a smile in their eyes,

it's bloodlust! [SCREAMING] Run!

Why?

I can't believe that really worked.

Of course it worked. No one can see us.

Again, not invisible.

Now remember, according to our uniforms, we're French.

Huh? I checked the tag

and mine says I'm 50% spandex, 50% nylon.

Okay.

There's Katelyn and Jordan.

Oh, my gosh. They're coming over here.

Booger check. You're good.

Solid.

Katelyn and Jordan.

I mean... [MIMICS FRENCH ACCENT] Katelyn and Jordan.

Hey, you must be Jean-Luc and Juliette,

the famous French gymnasts.

Uh... Oui.

I didn't think you were gonna make it

after your flight was delayed.

We've heard so much about your bold and unique take on rhythmic gymnastics.

Ah, yes. So bold, so unique, so rhythmic.

[MIMICS FRENCH ACCENT] Uh, what exactly have you heard

about our performance? Be very specific.

Just that it's completely indescribable.

Dang it. [CHUCKLES]

I mean, le gracias.

Well, I'm excited to see you guys perform,

which won't be long. You guys are up first.

Sacre bleu!

I wish they'd been more specific.

[SPEAKING CHICKEN LANGUAGE][CLUCKING]

Thank you, everyone,

for coming to this negotiation.

I know we're all busy with

egg-laying and whatnot.

[CLUCKING]

What did she say? Is it going well?

I don't think so.

She says the camp is now theirs.

Although, you may be spared

because of your vegetarian history.

[CLUCKING]

But no promises.

Can't we just apologize to them

and agree to find them a nicer home?

[SQUAWKS]

She says it's too late.

[GASPS] Oh, no! It's a trap!

Scout, look!

We're surrounded.

Yep. We're their prisoners now. Peck and mate.

[PHONE RINGING]

[CLUCKS]

She says answer it, but be cool

and don't say anything about chickens.

Man, I really miss the days when I only had one camper.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello? Oh, hi, Lou.

Yeah, yeah, everything at the camp is going just...

The chickens have taken over the ranch, send help!

Hello? Lou?

[CLUCKS]

She says you're going to regret that.

It's like a chicken Armageddon out there.

No, the a-peck-alypse. Better.

Well, at least they can't get in here.

[RATTLING]

Sweet mercy! It's game over, man!

How can they reach the knob?

They're evolving by the minute.

Okay, we're safe now.

Which is exactly what you say

in a horror movie right before you die.

Wait. I have an idea.

The solution to every problem is...

a costume.

Every problem? What about pollution?

Hey, Bill, would you not step on my moment? Thank you.

I have just the wardrobe change to save the day.

Amazing. Now, the chickens will think Parker's one of them.

Amazing! And then I can sneak out of camp.

Amazing! You've both lost your minds.

Why do you even have this, Noah?

Let's just say it wasn't Shakespeare, and leave it at that.

They said they're escorting us off the ranch

and we're lucky they're not deep-frying us in our boiling lake.

Today could not possibly get any weirder.

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

Oh, look, a topper.

Yo, bawk, bawk. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Bawk? Bawk, bawk?

Bawk. Bawk, bawk! [CHUCKLES]

Parker, why are you speaking chicken gibberish?

Noah gave me this chicken costume.

I'm trying to make the best of an impossible situation.

I mean... bawk?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING][CLUCKS]

Parker, they heard you! Run!

Oh, no, my cover's blown!

Tell everyone I died in regular clothes!

They're following him. We're saved!

I mean, Parker's doomed, but we're saved.

Where did Noah even get that chicken costume?

Let's just say it wasn't Shakespeare, and leave it at that.

Hey, y'all. We're so happy to be here in Dusty Tush.

That's a phrase I thought I'd never say.

Everyone, please welcome

the most original rhythmic gymnasts on the circuit.

They do all events at once.

We do what now?

Give it up for Jean-Luc and Juliette.

[ALL CHEERING]

Well, this'll be fun.

Will it?

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMS]

Wow, this is a crime against gymnastics.

This might even be an actual crime.

Oh, my gosh, are we accomplices?

I think we pulled it off.

Nope.

Hi, Jean-Luc and Juliette. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Invisibility suit, activate!

Worth a shot.

Wow, what a disaster.

Oui.

Great job to the real Jean-Luc and Juliette.

What an unforgettable performance.

Although not quite as unforgettable as the last one.

That'll be burned in my retinas forever.

Ready to do our thing?

Let's go.

[FUNKY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[CLUCKING IN THE DISTANCE]

Wait. Do you hear clucking?

Yeah, and maybe the word "revenge"?

Everyone! The chickens are coming

and they can't be reasoned with!

All we can hope for now is their flightless mercy!

This is kinda fun. Should we stay and watch?

[SQUAWKING]

Nope, let's go!

Well, that was a disaster.

Great. Now I have nothing to wear

for my mom's birthday.

Long story.

Why are the chickens so mad anyway?

What did we ever do to them?

I mean, besides eating

all their friends and family.

Parker, I guess your big mayoral debut

will just have to wait till the sewage plant opening.

But I know that you're gonna kick things off with a splash.

[CHUCKLES] Nope, I heard it. I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Maybe I'm just not cut out to be mayoral.

You guys saw that right away this morning when you were critiquing me.

Yeah, we messed up. By trying to change you,

we took away what makes you special.

P-Money doesn't need fixing.

Yeah, P-Money is the one who fixes things.

Like when you got us all to the geyser in time to take a photo.

Uh, or yesterday when you got us pizza

because Lou tried to serve us scorpion pate for lunch.

Scorpions weren't even cooked.

She just mushed 'em up into a ball

and then laid crackers around them.

You're an amazing activities director for the camp.

And as mayor, you're gonna be

an amazing activities director for Dusty Tush.

Ah. Thanks, guys.

You're right. I'll fix this, too.

I'll just throw a make-up gymnastics showcase, P-Money-style.

But didn't the chickens take over the town?

Oh, no, I meant right here at camp.

Dusty Tush is lost.

I saw a bunch of 'em storming The Sword Emporium.

Keep your eyes peeled

for chickens with tiny daggers.

Cool. Uh, [CHUCKLES] if you guys need me,

I'll be in a hotel. [CHUCKLES] In Colorado.

Destiny, I'm so sorry.

Because of me, the camp is a mess,

birds are attacking the town,

and we're no longer the dominant species here.

Scout, it's okay.

You were only trying to help.

But despite your best intentions,

if you don't have a plan,

you can make things even worse.

[SIGHS] Like having to sign

an unconditional surrender to a chicken?

Yuh-huh.

So, are you still willing to help me put together a plan

for finding the chickens a better home?

Of course I am.

But it won't be easy,

and it might take a lot of time.

You can't expect a solution to just walk through the door.

Well, after all that, the guy didn't wanna buy the land.

[SIGHS] So I guess I'm just gonna have to turn it into

a free-range pasture for the chickens.

Or sometimes it does.

Yay! I don't know what you're talking about, Destiny.

Activism is so easy.

What did I miss today?

BOTH: Nothing.

Hey, guys. Can we talk?

Not right now.

We're drowning our sorrows after blowing our chances

to hang out with Katelyn Ohashi and Jordan Chiles.

You sure about that?

Uh, yeah.

What's with these two?

Jake, it's them.

Sacre bleu!

We're so sorry for lying to you.

And for posing as French gymnasts.

And for ruining the showcase and for everything else.

A blanket sorry, if you will.

The only reason we did that

was because you two are our favorite athletes.

You're an inspiration to us bouncy kids everywhere.

Aw, thanks.

You guys are really cool

when you're not trying to be French.

Oh, I was trying to be 50% spandex.

So, what are you doing at the ranch?

Someone calling himself Mayor P-Money

arranged for us to finish our show here.

Oh, my gosh. We're gonna get to see you perform after all.

But first, you have to promise

never to sneak backstage again.

We do meet and greets, you know.

We promise.

So, do you think we can get your autographs now?

Sure. You have a piece of paper?

I have a better idea.

I can't believe we got them to sign our foreheads.

I've been marked by a legend.

If you thought I was difficult to deal with before,

buckle up.

Congratulations, Parker.

We knew you could pull this off.

Couldn't have done it without you.

All we did was get in your head and make you doubt yourself.

True, you did make it ten times harder.

Now, get out there and do you.

Yo, brosephs and brositas of D-Tush!

First off, major apologies

from your mayor for that chicken sitch earlier.

But I promise, when things go sideways,

I will always do my best to fix them.

In style.

[FABRIC RIPPING][CROWD GASPS]

[GASPS] Well, that went sideways. [CHUCKLES]

But I'm fixing it by bringing out

two of the greatest gymnasts of all-time.

Show some love for Jordan Chiles and Katelyn Ohashi!

[CROWD CHEERING]

[FUNKY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[WINNIE WHOOPS]

That was amazing!

Totally!

But I feel like it's basically what we did.

I know, right.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0