Original subtitles

Everyone, allow me to welcome you back to Kikiwaka Ranch in style.

Cool new camp jeep, Lou.

And cool new invisible driver.

We appreciate you, sir.

Actually, this is a self-driving jeep. Watch.

Jeep, honk.

[JEEP HONKS]Whoa!

I can't believe we used to have to do that with our hands like peasants.

I feel like I'm in a spaceship.

Someone man the rear laser cannons

and watch for alien crafts approaching.

Did your moms let you start playing video games again?

Yes.

And if they ask, I am in control.

I can't thank you guys enough for donating the lost treasure of Dusty Tush to the Camp.

I think you're gonna be pretty impressed

with some of the improvements I've made.

Wait, are you promising a ropes course with actual ropes, Lou?

Because I've been hurt before.

Mostly on the ropes course.

Ooh, are we gonna get beans with real beans

and not a product that does not contain actual beans?

Think bigger, guys.

This is the summer of unlimited funds and unlimited fun.

Nothing can stop us now.

[ENGINE ACCELERATING]Uh, did we just pass camp?

Jeep, stop us! Now.

[ENGINE ACCELERATING]

We're going faster.

Oh.

[GRUNTS] Okay.

How about I make this self-driving jeep a myself driving jeep?

[ENGINE ROARING]

I don't like it!

I can't die!

My horses and I have left so much unsaid!

Man, I missed camp!

Jeep, emergency shutdown!

[BRAKES SCREECH]

[SIGHS IN RELIEF]

Does anyone wanna hear about our new ropes course?

ALL: ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

Destiny!

[GASPS] Noah!

I missed you!

I know. We have so much to catch up on.

What did the CIA want?

Classified, don't worry about it.

More importantly, a little birdie told me

you have a second camper this year.

You've taken your first step

into a larger world.

I really don't think it's that big a...Hush, child.

You know not of what you speak.

[MUFFLED] Okay.

I need to show you something.

Come to the clearing in the woods tonight

after your two campers have gone to sleep.

Be discreet.

I'll try for discreet,

but my fashion inspiration words for this summer are

"Look at me."

Speaking of new looks,

is it just me or does this camp seem different?

Yeah, I'm getting that.

Why are you guys so late?

Lou almost killed us with Meryl Jeep.

Ah, like the time she crashed Bike Tyson?

More like Skate Middleton.

Okay, we get it.

Guys, look at all the cool new stuff

I bought for the camp with the treasure.

Like automatic doors. Watch.

[CHUCKLES]

Ta-dah!

Let's see the giant bats try to open these babies.

I wanna try!

I don't like it, it's mean.

[FABRIC RIPPING][CHILD YELLS]

Man, why isn't anything I bought working?

The jeep's auto drive,

the doors, the ball pit that swallowed a camper.

Don't worry, we can still hear him.

I hoped it wasn't true, but there was a legend

about the lost treasure of Dusty Tush being...

Tax deductible?

Cursed!

[ALL GASP]

Cursed?

Why did you let us hunt for a cursed treasure

all last summer?

Well, I didn't really believe it.

The curse was something my weird Uncle Lutz always talked about.

Then again, he also thought cows were spying on him.

They can't do that.

Cows have to tell if they're working for the cops, right?

But if Uncle Lutz was right,

that would explain why the Buttock brothers hid the treasure away.

The curse is real!

You should give all this new stuff back, Lou!

[GASPS] Before the ball pit feasts again.

Absolutely not.

Enrollment is way up with me being able

to advertise all this cool stuff.

People love the idea of these doors.

Guys? A little help?

Fine, I'll get the old doors out of storage.

But not for cursed reasons, because I like the look.

Hi, new friends!

Hi, there! Are you the new Mustang?

Oh, close.

I'm the new human.

Mustangs have four legs and extra vertebrae.

Common mistake.

Well, not really common, but try not to feel bad.

Actually, Mustang is our cabin name.

I'm Destiny, and this is Winnie.

Hi, nice...

[SNIFFING]

Guess we're not doing handshakes this year.

Hmm.

Fear, sweat and girl power.

Let me guess. You're kind of a...

[SNIFFS] Daredevil?

Also... [SNIFFS DEEPLY]

O positive?

Oh, she's good.

How did you do that? You're nose is so smart.

I grew up on my parents' nature preserve,

so animals taught me everything I know.

But I can't wait to hang out

with some human friends this summer.

Really tired of saying "No monkey business,"

and the monkeys replying, "It's just business, girl."

Wait, you can talk to animals?

What? You don't believe me?

Of course we believe you.

You're like a regular Doctor Dolittle.

Who's that?

[GASPS] Was she also homeschooled with seals?

Hey, wanna come meet some of my friends?

Okay. Just let me change first,

because you know what turkeys say about first impressions.

[GOBBLES LIKE A TURKEY]

Do you think Lou gave you

the two most high-maintenance campers on purpose?

Oh, yeah.

[LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, no. It's my worst nightmare.

I'm underdressed.

Don't worry, Destiny,

your attitude is always black-tie.

Welcome to the two-camper club.

What?

I said, "Welcome..."

No, no, I heard the weird words.

What exactly is a two-camper club?

Oh, just a community of counselors

who gather once a week to network, fellowship,

and discuss the two-camper lifestyle

with a little pizzazz.

Two-camper lifestyle?

Yeah. We help each other

with two-camper specific problems.

Like when you're helping one kid with laundry,

and the other accidentally gets on a non-stop train to Cheyenne.

I think that's a Jake-specific problem.

At least he brought us back fudge.

We also do recipe swaps

specifically for three-person meals.

Oh, and we have so many inside jokes.

Just go up to Carl sometime, and ask him about... [GIGGLES]

Ask him about his cat, it's hilarious.

Just make sure I'm there when you do it.

Wow. This sounds like a lot of fun.

So much fun, it's almost upsetting to hear about.

Am I red? I feel red!

You seem stressed.

It's too bad I couldn't tell you about our winter spa retreat.

Oh, there was this cucumber facial

that would have taken that twitch right out your eye.

[SCOFFS]

Noah, why didn't you tell me about any of this?

I also like pizzazz.

Because you didn't have two campers last summer.

The first rule of two-camper club is

"Don't tell one-campertons about two-camper club."

"One-campertons" is what we call you guys.

Yeah, I cracked the code!

I can't believe you kept this a secret from me.

Having one camper isn't that different from having two campers.

[ALL LAUGHING]

I know, guys, don't worry.

She'll learn.

Wait! Don't leave.

We got you two symbolic cakes!

How's it going up there, Lou?

Amazing.

This brand-new parasail and self-driving boat

is gonna be awesome for the kids to use this summer at camp.

[LAUGHING MANIACALLY] I love being rich.

BILL: Lou, remember the curse.

And check your privilege, but mostly remember the curse!

PARKER: Bill, I'm with Lou on this one.

And not just 'cause she said I can use that thing next.

Lou, bring me back an eagle.

Bill, Parker's right. There is no curse.

[TOW LINE SNAPS]

Okay, the tow line just broke,

I'm not longer attached to the boat,

but I'm sure this is still just a coinci... [SCREAMING] Dence!

Oh, good, it looks like she's gonna land on the green lawn.

[LOU SCREAMING]

[CRASHING]

Nope, that's hard roof.

So...

No eagle?

I think you're right. The treasure is cursed.

LOU: Is it weird

I just found someone's retainer?

Hey, guys.

Greetings, Winona.

Corbin, we talked about this.

It's either Winnie or Queen of the Universe.

Yes, of course.

And who might this young lady be?

Hey, I'm Scout.

She grew up on a nature preserve.

What a delight.

I grew up on a cul-de-sac.

It's the jungle of the suburbs.

[HISSING]

[SCREAMS] A snake!

I hate nature! Why am I here?

Relax, it's just a king snake.

[HISSING]

She says she's more afraid of you than you are of her.

[HISSES]

Also, she thinks legs are weird.

She said that to you?

We all think legs are weird, Corbin. Let it go.

I can speak snake.

In fact, my best friend is a snake.

Both because she slithers,

and also because she talks behind my back.

[SIGHS WEARILY] It's messy. But we make it work.

Well, color me dubious.

Which means doubtful.

I'm a whiz at vocab.

Hey, uh, maybe don't mention

the being able to talk to animals thing.

Why not?

I read a book by Michelle Obama,

and I'm not supposed to be dimming my light.

Well, uh, we don't want anyone to be jealous.

Oh. I get it.

You guys don't believe me.

No, it's not that.

Hey, Scout, the verdict is in.

We don't believe you.

Okay, it's a little bit that.

I can speak to animals, and I can prove it.

But she won't because she's too secure.

I just need an animal.

Nevermind, looks like we're doing this.

I'll be back in a flash because my gym coach was a cheetah,

which is why I can also shower with my tongue.

Face!

Why you gotta dim people's light, Corbin?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Now don't forget the googly eyes, kids.

You wanna make sure that your puppet can see

when one of the other puppets betrays her.

I'm sorry.

Am I to understand you guys are making puppets

without moi?

Moiloves puppets!

And?

And why didn't you tell me?

I got a beeper specifically for this reason.

And also because

I'm trying to put my phone away and be more present.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I withhold information about something

you would find fun and entertaining?

You don't even like puppets, you said they creep you out.

Which are strong words coming from a former clown.

I don't know what you're talking about,

I have always loved sock puppets.

And their weirdly long necks

and disproportionate eyes.

Adorable!

Okay, I see what's going on here.

You didn't tell me about this

because I didn't tell you about the two-camper club.

I guess I just finally realized that

we're friends that keep secrets from each other.

Which is fine. I can keep secrets!

I was born a brunette!

[INHALES DEEPLY]

[WHISPERS] You never heard that.

[BEEPER BEEPS]

Okay, I'm gonna continue this conversation,

but I have to go.

My mom says she needs the 411 before the day is done.

Okay, the eyes just moved!

Did anybody see that?

Uh, Scout, what are you doing?

Proving to everyone I can talk to animals.

Bryan will sit, stand, and roll over.

He can also do the Macarena,

but he prefers to save that for weddings.

Uh, I don't think anyone's gonna want to meet a skunk.

But skunks are so cool.

Did you know their anal glands do a little dance

before they deploy?

I'm sorry, but if you won't brag about yourself,

I have to.

Won't we get sprayed?

Don't worry, skunks only spray when they're scared.

Now, let's do this.

Hey, everyone, meet...

Skunk![ALL SCREAMING]

[WINNIE SCREAMS]

Oops. Sorry.

I saw the anal glands dance.

I'm never gonna fit in here.

I should have never come to camp.

So, Bryan...[SQUEAKS]

Where'd you learn the Macarena?

Where's Lou?

She's taking the golf cart she bought with the treasure for a joyride so, you know,

pray for her.

She just won't listen to reason about the curse.

I think she has gold fever.

How can you tell?

She's obsessed with the treasure.

Did you see her at lunch?

She was sharing a plate of spaghetti with a pile of coins.

She offered it fresh, cracked pepper.

If she won't get rid of the treasure, we need to do it for her.

Where do you think she keeps it?

Something tells me... Oh. There.

[SIGHS]

We're going to have to guess the combination.

Ooh, I know.

[LOCK BUZZES]

[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]What number was that?

It's my birthday.

I'm offended, I thought we were close.

Then let's try Lou's birthday.

Oh, great, when is it?I thought you were close!

We only see each other three months out of the year.

What more do you want from us?

LOU: December 5th.Thank you, Lou.

Lou!

I thought you were taking the golf cart around.

I was going to, then the battery died,

then the wheels fell off, then it exploded.

Means nothing.

You weren't trying to get to the gold, were you?

Lou, please, you have gold fever.

I don't know what gold fever is,

but everyone showers with a crown on.

It's a thing.

You have to let the treasure go.

This curse will destroy you and the camp.

Yeah, this camp was great without the gold last summer,

and it'll be great without the gold this summer.

[MOCKINGLY] "Great without the gold this summer."

But I need it!

Think of the things we could buy,

the retainers we could find.

Lou, take it from someone

who used to have a lot of money,

and then had it all taken away.

I thought it was the end of the world,

and then you taught me that money isn't everything.

We can have fun without it.

Trust us. Nothing good can come from this treasure.

That's not true.

For your information, I used some of the money from the treasure

to adopt an endangered buffalo.

He's on the property, safe from poachers as we speak.

Just a little something the gold and I came up with

over a working lunch.

Hold up.

A dangerous wild buffalo

is running loose around the camp?

Relax.

I put up a new fence to keep him away from the campers.

A new fence I also paid for with the treasure.

Yeah, we should probably check on that.

Everyone, to the golf cart!

Oh, wait, that's still on fire.

Everyone, to the jeep!

There you are.

[GASPS] Is that Nibbles, the camper-eating goat?

And he's in our cabin?

And he's letting you pet him?

And he's in our cabin?

He's actually pretty snuggly if you watch your fingers.

Maybe people should just give him a chance.

He eats kids.

We all have our thing. Just let us live. Jeez.

Hey, are you doing okay?

[SIGHS SOFTLY]

I came here because

I didn't really belong spending all my time with animals,

but making human friends has been so hard.

Maybe I don't belong here either.

I just don't know where I fit in.

Scout, you shouldn't worry about fitting in right away.

Everyone feels left out sometimes.

One day, you're the rodeo queen,

the next, you're one-camperton.

Everyone's having a party, and you're not invited!

I feel like this is becoming about you.

Yes.

But the point is, it's only a matter of time

before people realize how amazing you are.

And, hey,

you already made friends with two Mustangs.

But there aren't any wild horses around... [GASPS]

Oh! Wordplay.

Nice.

So, I did make friends?

Yep, and at arts and crafts,

we'll make it bracelet-official.

[GASPS][GIGGLES]

Oh, by the way, where's Winnie?

She's airing out in the woods.

Bryan's anal glands did the Macarena all over her.

I'm really hoping Bryan is a skunk.

Okay, good.

[SNIFFING]

Meh, I've been worse.

Ooh. Hey, Winnie, I brought the usual.

Hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and dish soap.

Ooh, yes. The Winnie special.

[CAR HONKING]

Is that Lou's new jeep?

Who's honking that horn like a peasant?

Get in! There's a cursed buffalo running around.

Hearsay, we don't know if it's running around.

[GRUNTING]

Just kidding. It's running around. Get in.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Okay. Hold on to your butts!

[ROARS]

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

Okay, let go of your butts.

[BUFFALO GRUNTING]

He's coming around the other side.

Dang, this jeep is cursed!

Why didn't anyone tell me?

[GRUNTS]

[ALL SCREAMING][BUFFALO ROARS]

[ALL SCREAMING]

If only Meryl Jeep was as dependable as her namesake!

[ALL SCREAMING]

Does anyone here speak buffalo?

SCOUT: I do!

Wow, even I thought I was fishing.

[BUFFALO GRUNTING]

Hey, you! [ROARS]

[ROARS]

[ROARS]

[ROARING]

[ROARING]

Yeah, that's what I thought!

[BUFFALO GRUNTS]Do you nuzzle your momma with that mouth?

Scout, you did it.

Only because I took advanced buffaloese.

No one try that yourselves, you will die.

You really can talk to animals.

I told you.

You believe me, right?

Yeah-huh. Always.

Super supportive counselor over here.

Wait until the rest of the camp hears about this.

Yes. And I think we can agree all's well that ends well,

and I don't need to change anything I'm doing.

Really?

No. My face put a skylight in the mess hall.

That gold is cursed.

Hey!

What is everyone doing at our secret two-camper club meeting spot?

I've said too much.

[EXHALES]

"Only one of my ear lobes is fake.

"I tell everyone it's both just for attention.

"I have perfect vision.

"The glasses are just to draw attention away from my earlobes."

What are you doing?

Telling you all my secrets.

"Remember those leggings you thought you lost in the wash last summer?

"I took them and added them to my Shakespeare wardrobe.

"And I'm not sorry.

"I never learned how to floss,

"and now it feels like it's too late to ask.

"I don't think cilantro tastes like soap,

"but I do think soap tastes like cilantro.

"My real name isn't Noah, it's..."

Stop!

Really? Stop there?

Look, it's okay you didn't tell me about the two-camper club.

Are you sure?

Because that horse puppet you left in my bed

that had X's for eyes sends a very clear message.

I was being petty.

You're allowed to have your own secrets.

And after today,

I've realized that having two campers really is a special challenge.

In related news,

Winnie will be living in the barn for a while.

I'll tell the two-camper club. We'll start a meal train.

Thanks, Noah.Anytime.

Oh, and see you at the next meeting.

It's a theme night.

Everyone's dressing as their favorite camper.

Oh, things are about to get problematic!

Then, it was so cool. She roared,

and the buffalo totally understood her, so it went away.

I still need to work on the accent, but he got the gist.

Scout saved us all.

[ALL APPLAUDING]

Apologies for not believing you, Scout.

Will you forgive me?

Of course.

I'll have my lion friend

take you off his list of enemies right away.

What?What?

Look at that, Scouts making a bunch of new friends,

but now my other camper is an outcast

at least for the next two to five days.

Can someone toss me a marshmallow?

I need a taste in my mouth that isn't how I smell.

Classic two-camper problems.

BOTH: Two!

So, do you regret letting us rebury the cursed treasure?

No, I did have a bad case of gold fever,

but I'm ready to earn my fortune the old-fashioned way.

By overcharging parents.

That's the spirit.

Just, uh, out of curiosity, where did you bury it?

Ah. Nope, nevermind, don't answer that.

[CHUCKLES] Is it over by the lake? Don't say that either.

What about Tush Prairies?

Just tell me if I'm hot or cold. [CHUCKLES]

I have a problem.

The important thing is that the gold is gone.

And everything you bought with it is about to be.

Well, there will still be a cursed buffalo running around,

but, hey, I'm sure that won't come back around to bite us later. Literally.

Anyway, curse neutralized, first campfire underway,

looks like there's nothing left to worry about.

Guys? A little help?

Except sometimes I worry about him.

Push. Don't pull, buddy.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

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