Original subtitles

I'm gonna take charge of this music.

-Whoo! -We play that hard shit.

Give it to me, baby.

Come on, Lee, this isn't a fashion show.

Come over here and help me tune up this killing machine.

I'm sizzy.

Stop saying that.

You know I won't.

Jackie Boy, it's your time to shine, let's do it!

Fellas, I appreciate y'all coming out

to my pre-victory party,

but if all this workout talk doesn't end right here,

I'll have to ask you guys to leave.

Yah!

♪ I see, how could I miss you? ♪

♪ Lost in space, you're bent over backwards ♪

♪ Grabbing both ankles, making a pretzel ♪

♪ Saving yourself for something or other ♪

♪ You're in on a space cadette, float away again ♪

♪ I'm so glad when Motherfuckers like them get lost in space ♪

♪ I ain't missing them, don't want to see them again ♪

♪ You're in on a space cadette, float, float, float away ♪

Shit, Jess.

Shit!

Come on, fight night, whoo!

What's up, babe?

You know, I had low expectations for you all,

but this, this is a new low.

I mean, fighting a handicapped kid?

Tyler is just another asshole from a rival school,

who just so happens to be deaf.

So that makes it better?

No more chitty chat, Jessica, just drive the damn car.

Can't be late to fight night!

It's show time, baby.

All right, Jess.

Let's go!

Whoo!

Hey, hey, make room, all right?

Make some room, make some room.

♪ Kill, kill, kill, kill ♪

♪ Kill, kill, kill, kill ♪

Hoo!

-Yeah! -All right, baby.

Hoo!

All right.

-Who's the bull? -I'm the bull!

-Who's the bull? -I'm the bull!

-Who's the bull? -I'm the bull!

Let's go, Jack, kick his ass!

Yo, Ryan's here, Ryan's here.

Goddamn, Ryan look bad as hell.

Yeah, now, all right, focus, focus up, go Jackie Boy.

Let's hit it!

Hit it!

All right, now, two big boys.

You bring thunder and lightning,

this can be a good one, let's have a fight.

Come on, git!

You want it? you want it?

Man, Goddamn, that boy in prison shape.

Is Jack the handicapped one here?

Get up, Jack!

Hey, you're making us look bad!

Man, get up!

Get up, get up now!

One, two!

Oooohh!

The cops are here!

Everyone, go!

Move along, people!

Jackie Boy!

-Wake up! -Wake your ass up, man!

Get up, get up!

Move it, folks!

Let's go!

Stop right there, y'all!

Sean, stop!

What are we gonna do with him?

What are we gonna fucking do with him?

-Put him in the fucking bush. -The bush,

-just leave him there? -He's drunk as fuck, come on!

Get on.

-Go, go, go, go! -Are you on, are you on?

-I'm on, go! -All right, I'm going,

I'm going, I'm going!

No, no, my God!

- Shit! - No!

Someone just got run over by a bike.

Send an ambulance.

Did you just run over Ryan?

My God, my God!

Happy Friday, boys.

This is a friendly reminder that today is the last day

to buy tickets for the social tomorrow

with Our Sisters at Sacred Divinity. Go Owls.

So,

what's up?

You're not gonna believe this, Dean Whitman,

but these scratches,

they're actually from my family's new cat.

Come on, tell me, give me another lie.

I was home studying last night.

If you were home all night, then you must have spent it

getting your ass beat by that cat.

I know you haven't been home,

I know you haven't been to bed,

plus you look and smell like you've been trapped in the zoo.

Just call up the school board

and tell them you're expelling a student

for not being as well dressed and fancy groomed as you are.

I know you think you're smart, Nozak,

I mean, your grades say otherwise,

but you are smart enough to know,

that I don't have any evidence on you. But I will,

as soon as one of your little friends snitch on you.

But if you do manage to slither your way out of that one,

well, man, you still gotta face

the school board come Monday.

You're grasping at straws here.

-Am I? -I've faced the board before,

you and I both know that rumors of a schoolyard brawl

aren't solid grounds for expulsion.

You don't get it yet, but you will.

I want you to pay attention

to the morning announcements today,

'cause the fact is the school board is meeting on Monday

and changes are coming

and those changes are contingent upon your enrollment here.

What does that even mean?

It means that I need you to get out of my office,

'cause I got a lot of work to do this morning.

You stink badly.

I think you owe it to me to at least explain

what's coming my way.

I don't owe you a damn thing, son,

I just really want you to understand that.

The fact is you have got to survive until Monday.

Now I have already told you to get out of my office

and you're still sitting there.

Get up and get out of my office, son.

Get up!

Go watch the announcements and fix your shirt!

Did you hear about what happened to Ryan?

Heard she got run over by a bike, that's some scary shit.

I mean, she might never cheer again,

but Little Miss Perfect will be okay.

They don't have any leads.

Good, cool, cool, cool.

How about we have a date night, just you and me?

Let me guess, your idea of a date night

is for me to pick you up and then go

to the Goddamn Cheesecake Factory

and then fondle each other in my basement after?

Get out of my car.

By the way, thank you so much

for inviting me to the social tomorrow.

Just assumed you'd run into me there? How romantic.

Hope you and your precious friends have fun

jerking each other off.

Murph, is that your mom?

I wouldn't mind a spanking from her.

Fuck off, Riggs.

-Leonardo. -Yeah, yeah.

I haven't lost you already, have I?

-No. -The whole point

of before school tutoring was so that I could harness

all your energy before the day starts.

Yeah, no, you, I'm following right along

and this music is so beautiful, I got lost in the words

and the lyrics really hit deep.

So deep.

Leonardo, this is an orchestra, there are no lyrics.

Of course, I just, what I meant like, it's,

music's really inspiring me for our poetry assignment.

-Right. -Right now.

-Okay. -Yeah.

I'm glad to hear it, but don't get too ahead of yourself.

You still have to translate this poem

before you can catch up with the rest of the class.

Right.

We're almost done, we're on the last verse.

Now pronounce this and translate it.

Key is you gotta say it fast,.

Almost.

Yes, yes, much better.

"Love knows no age."

Can you repeat that?

No, I'm sorry, could you do

like the translation one more time?

"Love knows no age."

Wow!

"Love knows no age."

Man, that one, like that one hit, you know,

that one's, that one's deep.

It's beautiful?

Yeah, it's a tragic tale, but a beautiful message.

It's my favorite poem.

Is it? Wow.

Mine too.

Man, that's art really, I can feel it right here.

Well, good job today.

I think our sessions are really helping.

They are, no, I can really feel like my Italian ancestors

just flowing, flowing through me

and like a lot of blood up in my brain right now.

Okay, all right,

well, I will see you back in class this afternoon

and I look forward to hearing your poem.

You should, I've been working on it.

That's goodnight.

Okay then,

goodnight.

Shit, my shadow.

Hey, hey!

Hey, are you my shadow?

Yeah.

-I'm Evan. -Sorry I'm late, man,

my name's Leo, well, we gotta giddy up,

'cause I can't be tardy again.

-Okay. -All right,

so welcome to Our Lady of the Crusades.

Today's going to be fun.

Here are a few things to make your day go smoothly,

rule number one, you are now in a prison environment,

all right, OLC is basically a contained riot,

like it's all about psychological warfare here, OK?

Rule number two, nothing's off limits.

So like your mother, your sister, your sexuality,

your religion, your race,

all that will be ridiculed before lunch.

And rule number three, the nerd and the jock

are on even playing fields here, so like coolness

comes down to how disruptive you can be in class

and how much you can bench press.

A lot of animosity around here.

No one wants to sit at a table

with a kid who gets his feelings hurt.

-Hey, Leo. -Yeah.

Why is it so hot in here?

Yeah, so the new wing,

which was built like 20 years ago,

has all the good AC, this is the old wing, not so much,

but honestly I'm perfectly fine right now.

So you're new in town?

No, I'm from the city.

Where are you transferring from then?

St. Matthew's.

Okay.

Close call, Grecco.

You know I like to show up

fashionably on time, Mr. Marshall.

Yeah, I don't care, sit down.

O'Brien.

-Here. -Murphy.

Murphy?

Here.

What is that, Grecco

and why did it almost make the eye contact with me?

This is Evan, he's my shadow today.

Yeah, well, I've never met a shadow that talks, so.

He didn't say anything.

Nozak.

Present!

-Peterson. -Here.

Dude, not trying to be offensive,

but you look like shit.

-Richards. -Here.

I don't know if you heard, but I had a pretty rough night.

-Salerno. -Here.

Did Jess hear anything about the bike incident?

Bro, Ryan's clueless, you're good.

-You sure? -Yes.

-Nice. -All right, ladies,

Dean Whitman has a special announcement

before class starts.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Now as you all know,

I've got little birdies chirping everywhere

and I'm hearing a lot of chatter

about the financial stability of our school.

So let me just address this right now, short and sweet.

On Monday we will be meeting with our brothers

at St. Matthew's to discuss and vote

on the possibility of a merger between both schools.

Both of our financial situations are dire

and this is the best possible outcome for everyone.

Last and final warning,

stop rubbing PB and J sandwiches on the toilet seats,

some people have peanut allergies

and you are playing with people's lives.

Now all final details of the merger will be made public,

once we have met and they are decided on.

Until then, I don't wanna hear a word

from any of you about it.

Now it's a great day to be a Owl, gentlemen,

as always, make it a good one.

Looks like you're coming here regardless, man.

Spooky stuff, allergies, mergers, gossip, ooh!

I don't care, I get paid either way,

but it looks like prom dates are gonna be a lot harder

for some of you to come by.

I'm screwed.

What's up, Nozak? Think you're pretty tough?

'Cause I'm as tough as they come.

Keep pushing my buttons

and I'm gonna show you just how tough I come.

Now, where did we leave off last week?

Come on, who knows?

Well, that's the widow maker.

What was that, big boy?

Whitman was saying some weird, ominous shit this morning,

reading between the lines, the school board voting

for a merger on Monday means I'm expelled.

Bro, you can't possibly believe,

that the merger of two entire schools

is contingent on one student, okay, relax.

He literally used that word.

Contingent?

What if one of those St. Matt's kids

tries to get between me and Ms. Kerpial?

-Medieval times. -I can't let that happen.

You're a sociopath.

Our whole lives could be changing

and the one thing you're worried about

is a student hypothetically getting molested by a teacher.

I mean, I wouldn't press charges though,

guilty is charged.

You're in the front row.

You think I'm deaf?

Shut the fuck up.

Okay.

♪ You know daddy loves you so, Rock N Roll has got to go ♪

All right!

Listen up, chooches, pull it in.

Pull it in.

Despite the school board's best efforts,

I'm still teaching weight training

and I'm gonna do it my fucking way, you hear that?

Yeah.

No more popcorn muscles here, all right,

we're gonna start with the chest and the biceps

and I'm gonna turn you little boys into men,

and men into full-fledged monsters, look at him!

Look at that fucking guy!

Gene, Riggs, grab two donuts each, slap them on the bar.

Let's go. Tony, I need a spot, right?

A strong, full fledged, use both hands, okay?

All right, full support, Tony, full fucking support.

-Move, move your fucking ass. -Okay.

Running around like a fucking puss, come on!

I'm not fucking around here, no giggling either.

Let's go.

One!

Two!

Three!

Four, push it out!

Five, you big motherfucker, six!

Seven, you fucking zombie, yeah!

Argh, yeah!

Yeah, let's go, come on, move, yes!

Tony, you're up.

If you need a spot, let me know, all right?

Gene, fucking guy spit in my eye.

What kind of weight you repping on the bench?

Actually, Coach, I'm more interested in pliability

and elasticity than traditional weight training.

I have a naturally fluid skeletal structure.

Jesus Christ, Gene, I just got my period hearing that.

Grab a plate and run around the gym until your back hurts!

Till your fucking back hurts!

Nozak, you got more curves than my ex-wife,

I'm putting you on the Atkins, no more carbs for you.

I love my carbs, Coach.

Yogurt, baby, get used to it.

Get outta here.

Riggs, don't disappoint me, what are your numbers?

Coach, I don't know about weight,

but I can lift both my girlfriends.

Yeah, Riggs, I seen both your girlfriends

and I don't see you lifting 500 pounds.

Boom!

Yeah, boom!

Listen, I'm worried about you boys, I really am,

you don't have the balls or the brains

to defend yourself against future classmates.

Let me tell you something,

when your mommys tuck you in at night,

you better hope and pray that there is no merger,

those city boys are tough.

They're bigger, stronger, faster.

In other words, you will be somebody's bitch by lunchtime,

so bend over, get used to it and on the other hand,

he got your precious Sisters at Sacred Divinity,

fresh meat at all the games and dances for the girls.

I give it one week and your girlfriends will be banging

those boys from St. Matt's by the weekend.

By the fucking weekend!

Now how does that make you feel?

Hey, Coach, what if there's no one at that school,

that can kick your ass and you don't give a shit

who your girlfriend sleeps with?

I guess you're right, Pizzo,

you only have to worry if you're fat, dumb or ugly

or at least two outta three.

What are you laughing at, Einstein?

Did you look in the mirror?

All right, class dismissed.

Get the fuck outta here!

Hey, I said medium, this is well done.

If you have cash, you can pay here!

75 cents.

Ms. McDonald, I actually gave all my spare change

to a homeless man on the bus this morning.

Could I sign an IOU or something?

Jack, you have always been such a sweet boy.

Go ahead, I'll let this one pass.

Bless you, Ms. McDonald.

No, bless you, child.

Aw, sweet baby.

75 cents.

Sean, Riggs, Gene, this is Jack.

What's up, Jackie Boy?

What's up, pussies?

Had to help pay rent this week?

No, actually went the homeless man today.

Yeah, we gotta enjoy the freebies while they last.

We all know the St. Matt's kids gonna come in and steal shit.

Yeah and speaking of,

that guy, Vince and a car meatheads did basically

a drive-by stare down on me this morning in tutoring.

What, the Wrecking Crew?

Yeah.

This would be our last social with just OLC guys.

You know how hard it is to talk to girls to begin with,

and now double the competition?

Not to mention I'm pretty sure Sean and I

have warrants out for our arrest.

Hey, hey, hey, you were driving.

-So? -Leave me out of this.

I'm sizzy, it was dark out plus you weighted it down,

you probably broke her spine.

This could be our last weekend as Owls.

Let's go all out this weekend.

Yeah, screw it!

So Lee, you gonna have sex at the social tomorrow,

you know what I mean?

If you'd like, I can offer you a tip or two

on how to get the ball rolling

if you just so happen to find a nice, young lady.

Right, well, I can't do that, I gotta play it cool,

'cause Ms. Kerpial is chaperoning.

Don't wanna risk her seeing anything, you know?

Yeah, that explains why you never kissed a girl before.

I hooked up on a motorcycle once,

talk about road rage, boom!

In my research, documentaries showed that men

who have the sex most are usually blue collar in status.

You should tell her you're a plumber,

pizza man or a gym teacher.

Or, even better, tell her you're a casting director

and you need to evaluate her skillset.

Gene, is your research straight up watching porn?

Funny, well, I gotta go study.

See you in Italian, Leo.

All right, that's lunch. Clean up, boys.

-What's up? -Yo,

could you pass this along to Gene?

-I forgot to give it to him. -What is it?

Just some poetry assignment he needed help with.

And he asked you?

I mean, I'm just saying like, I didn't know you were a poet.

Yeah, you learn.

Evan, we're gonna hit Italian up.

Hey, stallion, do you have something for me?

Leonardo, are you following along?

Yeah, yeah.

Good, then you'll have no problem reading.

Start at the top.

Right, which we are on,

here we go.

Okay,.

Actually, Leo, I think that's an English word

you're trying to read, it's pronounced introduction.

Right.

Maybe you'll have better luck

reading that note aloud to the class.

Ooh!

All right, well, that note was just a little something

I needed to give to Gene, you know, it's no big deal.

I'm sure the class would love to hear it.

Right, okay, um...

Let's see what we got here.

"My name is Lee."

You know what, there's just a bunch of gibberish on here.

-I'll give it a try. -No, you won't give it a try.

Um, can I just throw it away?

Front of the class please.

"My name is Lee Lee

and when I have to wee wee,

I take out my little pee pee

and the stink makes everyone flee flee."

Leonardo, you wrote that?

No.

Si, bella.

That's enough, Eugene.

Sit.

Honestly, Leo, I'm pretty surprised by this.

-No, okay-- -I always thought

you were one of my more mature students.

I am one of your more mature students, Ms. Kerpial,

you know that, okay...

I've been compared to a full grown stallion before.

You know I would never do something like that, okay?

And you know that I look out for all the women horses here,

'cause I, um, provide for the herd or,

no, what I'm trying to say is that like I'm mature and--

I think you're misinformed on how horses live.

But no, okay, what I'm trying to say

is like I'm the Ferrari logo, okay,

I'm a fast, Italian, mature man that doesn't--

That's quite enough.

Maybe a JUG will teach you

not to make a joke of our class time.

All right, class, who would like to read?

So you pumped for the social?

Yeah, whatever, Riggs.

What are you doing? That's not your locker.

Yeah, I'm not sure if I'm going tomorrow,

got the GF coming over.

I've been charging the Xbox controller all day.

What, she's a gamer?

She's game all right, vibration mode, you know.

-Sup, Riggs! -Friday!

Let's go baby.

♪ Watching you ♪

♪ Underneath the glowing light ♪

♪ It's killing me ♪

♪ To see the way you look tonight ♪

♪ 'Cause suddenly ♪

♪ Everything has changed ♪

♪ A look from you ♪

♪ Will take away all my pain ♪

You got JUGged!

She's gonna make an honest man outta me someday, man.

Hey, Leo.

-Yeah. -I just wanna thank you

for everything today, I really appreciate it.

Yeah, man, I'll see you around, okay.

Yeah, you will.

What the hell, yo, did you do this? What's up?

Sack-tap Friday, bitch!

What's up, man?

Pizzo, you know if this the the line for the...

contraceptives?

Jimmys, bro.

Murphy, are you trying to ask me

if this is where you get dong bags?

Yeah.

Yeah, man, this is the line.

But next time just say dong bags, we're all men here.

What's up, boys?

You getting some dong bags for the weekend?

Yeah, a last resort, I keep getting acne down there.

Pizzo, bro, I'm pretty sure that's just herpes.

No, no, you only get that on your mouth, idiot.

Besides, they say like only one in three have it.

Yeah, you idiot.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some dong bags to buy.

Whoa, Murphy, what can I do for you?

I'd like to purchase one dong bag please.

Sean, my man, a dong bag?

The only thing I sell here are pecker sleeves.

Yeah, you virgin.

Well, I guess I'll take one of those.

Sure thing, Murphy, 20 bucks.

20 bucks?

Yeah, boys, ever since all this talk of the merger,

people have been buying out of panic,

which means I can barely keep up stock. Supply and demand.

Don't worry, they're reversible,

so it's a great bang for your buck.

My man.

-Ssh! -Let's go, gang,

let's go, let's go.

Should we feel bad about this?

No, man, it's just a bag.

We're not setting the dude's house on fire.

Besides, this is nothing compared

to what the St. Matt's kids do to him.

I don't even know why I agreed to do this,

like come on, man, like we're older than this.

You're the one who traded garbage duty

at JUG tomorrow with Jack, you know he loves good prank.

What the hell are you doing?

Come on, let's light the bag, I'll ring the bell

and then we all run like hell.

Chill out, after last week,

we're taking no chances with this lunatic, Mr. Podkowa.

You serious?

It's Jess.

Let it go to voicemail then.

Don't do it, don't you--

Hey, hey, babe.

I'm doing a little team-building activity with the guys,

mind if I give you a call back?

Look, I know how important

your extracurricular activities are,

but this is a matter regarding your safety

-and I'll be quick. -Sure, babe,

you know I've always got time for you.

-What's the word? -It's about this merger,

you know my dad's on the school board

and this is feeling like a bigger deal,

than I think you realize,

it's less of a merger and more of a hostile takeover.

Okay, okay, okay.

Where'd you get the shit?

Dude, that's not important.

We have a job to do, Pizzo, come on.

Okay.

Pizzo! Jesus Christ, old man, it's just a prank!

What the hell? Fuck!

Yeah, I guess you didn't know I was retired PD?

He's just killed Pizzo.

These crowd control bags are great for making my point,

instead of killing every punk who crosses me.

Beanbag, it's just a beanbag,

we're good, we're good, we're good.

You'll basically be in the ghetto

and that's just not safe.

Now, you got a choice, boy,

you either eat everything that's in that bag

or you take one of these bags straight to the belly

and one to the balls for good measure.

We gotta do something.

And take a beanbag? No, I'm fine.

This weekend should be all about us.

No more friends dragging you through unwanted drama.

So what's it gonna be, boy?

It's getting late and you know what?

It's chow time.

Hang up the phone, hang up the phone,

-hang up the phone now. -Hey.

What the hell, are you even listening?

Scatter, every man for himself!

Hoo hoo! Should've pulled the trigger, Podkowa!

Let's get outta here!

You should've pulled the trigger, old man!

Holy shit!

Come back, I'll get you!

That's right, run, you run!

This guy's shit faced, get off!

Shit.

Boom!

Whoo hoo!

Too much mold.

Hey.

This is JUG, tuck that shirt in, boy.

It's a Saturday.

Bet you'd like a bite of this?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-Really would. -No, but not for you.

Yogurt.

Hey, Tony, wrap up on that tackle!

Pretend it's your stepsister, know what I mean?

What's going on, Murph?

What up, Coach?

Listen, I know you're our second string receiver,

but I need you to catch the ball once in a while.

What's going on with you?

I'm fine, I don't really wanna talk about.

Come on, open up, Murph, what do you got?

School, family, lady problems?

You could talk to me, I had a kid once.

No, my grades, they fine, family straight.

My girl and I...

Murphy, listen to me, women, kids, they come and go,

stick with your friends.

I mean, in your case, make new ones.

Listen, I'm sure if you bang her good,

everything will work out.

Broads love that, you know what I mean?

I'm just kidding, listen, but do the right thing.

Hey, Grecco, that water's for the athletes!

Drama kids next to the girls' bathroom.

Right, my bad, Coach, I was just filling it up.

Hey, come here for a second.

No, I'm geeing back to JUG right now, I promise.

Just a second, come here.

You and Murphy, you're buds, right?

Yeah.

Do me a favor,

help him sort out his problems with the old lady,

he's too distracted on the field.

I mean, I've told him a couple of times,

but you know, high school relationships, young love

and that's how it goes.

I stay away from that just for that reason.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

What are you working with?

What, what's that?

What I'm working--

- You know, chicks. - Like what?

Yeah, what you working?

- Cougars, like- -Ooh!

Like early, late, late twenties, late twenties.

Cougars? Not bad, maybe I was all wrong about you, kid.

Remember what I'm gonna tell you. Always date older chicks.

Thank you.

They're desperate, they'll do anything, I mean anything

and they'll treat you like a king, you know what I mean?

-Yeah. -Get your helmet on,

fucking skin dive, you know what I mean?

Skin dive, like...?

I'm talking about skin dive.

Right, no, all right, yeah.

Get it, because you got cougars?

-Yeah, thanks, Coach. -That's my thing.

Yeah.

-No, you're right. -Check in with me.

Now get the fuck outta here, all right?

-Okay. -I got a reputation here.

End of practice, boys!

♪ It's been so long ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ I'm so lonely, baby, I'm feeling blue ♪

♪ Had to cool it down ♪

♪ Had to shake you off ♪

♪ You got me a-running ♪

♪ Baby, I need your touch ♪

♪ I'm gonna move tonight ♪

♪ I'm gonna make my move tonight ♪

♪ I'm gonna move tonight ♪

♪ I'm gonna make my move tonight ♪

♪ Got a taste of your loving ♪

♪ You've gone running around ♪

♪ Looking for what we had ♪

♪ I'm gonna move tonight ♪

♪ I'm gonna make my move tonight ♪

What's up, ladies?

Glad you lovebirds could make it.

You guys remember Caitlyn, right?

Hey.

Hi.

Yeah.

Girls do love a fixer upper, right?

Such a shame that this mansion's still on the market.

Man, the economy hurting everybody in different ways.

Right.

You'd better not be looking at any of these skanks.

Skanks, I don't look at any skanks.

Goddamn, you look bad as hell.

You always know the right thing to say to cheer me up.

It's just a test, you passed.

"I'm Jess?"

Yeah.

Made you one.

Bae, you shouldn't have, this is so cool.

"If lost, return to Jess?"

Yeah, put it on.

You know, we gonna be bumping and grinding.

You know, I'm a big guy, I don't really--

On.

So I've been thinking.

I'm listening.

Well, I think tonight is the night.

Yeah, babe, tonight's our night.

No.

Tonight's...

the night.

Thanks, guys, seatbelt.

♪ Baby girl, you look so fine ♪

♪ I'ma take you for a ride, yeah ♪

♪ Mom don't need the keys tonight ♪

♪ So I'm about to pull up ♪

♪ Hop in the Astron van ♪

♪ Text me on the family plan, yeah ♪

♪ You look like you need a man ♪

♪ So I'm about to pull up ♪

♪ Sugar how you look so fine ♪

♪ Fly passenger side ♪

♪ Sliding, gliding all through the night ♪

♪ And now you're in my ride ♪

♪ Ooh, babe, what you know ♪

♪ I wanna go where you go ♪

♪ Slow, slow, slow or fast ♪

♪ Click-it or ticket, girl, please don't make me ask ♪

♪ Baby girl, you look so fine ♪

♪ I'ma take you for a ride, yeah ♪

♪ Man don't need the keys tonight ♪

♪ So I'm about to pull up ♪

♪ Hop in the Odyssey ♪

♪ Yeah girl, it's just you and me ♪

Holy shit! It's worse than I thought.

It's not nearly as bad as I thought it'd be, bro.

Pizzo told me she had a broken spine.

You kidding me, dude, seriously?

The police report stated that she got run over

in the wrong way and now she's infertile.

It's my fault.

♪ I'm taking you everywhere ♪

♪ Sugar how you get so fly ♪

Yeah, what if she thinks it's me, does she know it's me?

God, I can't go over there,

criminals always return to the scene of the crime.

Dude, she literally thinks that the sun is still

the backside of the moon, just go talk to her, pussy.

No, I'm not gonna go talk to her.

-Just go talk to her, pussy. -No.

Jesus!

-Screw this, no, screw this. -What?

♪ I'm about to pull up ♪

♪ Hop up in the Malibu, we got go pick up the crew ♪

♪ And we about to pull up ♪

Good evening.

Right, good evening,.

Look, what happened in class today, you have to believe me,

-I had nothing to- -I do.

You do what?

Believe you.

Good, 'cause you know me, I'm more mature than that,

you know, like all these guys can be so immature at times

and it's honestly really hard to stoop to their level

on a daily basis.

Yeah.

So wait, if you knew I didn't write it,

why did you give me such a hard time?

Look, I was doing you a favor.

You don't want everyone thinking that you're a teacher's pet

because of how much time we spend together

tutoring before school, so the class needed to know

there are no favorites.

I guess that makes sense.

So Leonardo, why are you here talking to me,

when there are all these cute high school girls

waiting for a dance?

Look, this stallion has a lot of built up horsepower,

okay and I don't think any of these girls have what it takes

to ride the bull, you know, or stallion,

you know what I'm saying?

Okay.

Um...

You know, I hate seeing you stand here

and during a such great song, um,

and I would totally ask you to dance if you would want to.

Grecco.

This might be a crazy concept for you to understand,

but the keyword in social is socializing,

not begging Ms. Kerpial for a D minus.

May I have the honor?

Signor Marshall, thank you for relieving me of my shift.

Have a good weekend, boys.

You too, Ms. Kerpial.

Listen, Grecco.

Okay.

A little bit of advice.

Next time you see Kerpial flirting with me,

best take a hike, yeah.

-What? -Right, okay.

What, you don't,

you got your big dick jeans on today, Grecco?

No, sir, just my 32 regulars.

This isn't your MO, Grecco,

sure you wanna play the role of tough guy tonight?

All right, Mr. Marshall, it is so painfully obvious,

that you and I are now locked into a love triangle

and at this moment, I'm sorry,

but I'm gonna have to take you down.

Love triangle? Are you actually delusional enough

to think you have a chance with a smoke show like her?

You're a child and she's a grown ass woman.

And you think you have a chance?

I could set up a kissing booth right here, right now

and double your salary.

Wow, Grecco, I'm thrilled to see that your balls

finally dropped.

So I'll tell you what, you get a kiss on the cheek

from any girl here, any one right now

and I'll stop talking to Kerpial completely.

I'm sorry, wait, that would require you

to actually talk to girls,

and from what I hear, that's not your strong suit,

so I guess,

well.

Keep dreaming, kid.

Yee!

Fucking creep.

You get a kiss on the cheek.

You're a child. Any girl in here.

And she's a grown-ass woman.

Keep dreaming, kid,

that would require you to actually talk to girls.

Leo!

Ryan.

I, well, I-I totally intended on saying hey

the other night at the park.

-Yes. -Before things got so hectic.

I've just been so embarrassed, I debated even coming, so.

Yeah, no, that's terrible, I'm so sorry.

No, don't be sorry, I know who did this.

You do?

Yeah, my ex-boyfriend Vince definitely set this up.

It's probably someone from the Wrecking Crew.

Yes, yeah, he did and you'd best believe that,

the first chance that the L-Train gets,

he's gonna deep six him, you know, pretty quick.

So Vince's ex?

Yes, we dated over the summer unfortunately.

Yep.

Yeah, that makes sense then.

It does?

No, what I mean like is like, you know,

he's the popular kid at St. Matthew's

and you're the cheerleader here

and you know, like doing the math,

it's just like calculations, that checks out, you know.

Yeah. You're, you're really funny.

Thanks.

Are you gonna ask me to dance or--?

Right, yeah...

Yeah.

You know, next slow song, I'm, I'm all yours.

Excuse me, I'll be right back, okay.

Okay.

She doesn't know, it wasn't your fault.

Fine, fine, come on, man, come on.

Hoo!

Okay.

I don't know why I even came to this thing.

Boys at this school are completely oblivious in general,

but somehow, I chose the most oblivious one of all.

Come on, man, just ask her to dance, just be a man.

You're a stallion.

You're a stallion.

Are you sure this is him?

Yeah, that's him.

Evan, are you kidding?

"I'm sizzy."

Wrecking Crew for life, bitch.

What's up, man, are you hitting on my girlfriend?

Vince, right?

No, no, no, okay, this is a misunderstanding, this--

-Don't think that I don't know. -No, no, no,

this is a big misunderstanding, okay?

I didn't do anything, she came up to me, all right?

My bad, it was an accident.

So you were involved?

It's not just at this school,

every guy that I've gone out with

can talk about football for hours,

but is literally incapable of talking about his feelings

-at any given moment. -Okay, so what do I do?

I mean, if I make the first move,

I intimidate him and look stupid.

If I don't, I die of old age

waiting for him to do something.

I'm not gonna lie, Grecco, it was just a hunch,

but thanks for confirming.

Okay, wait, wait, hang on, hang on!

-Nothing happened, okay. -Are you

slamming my girl?

I'll answer that again, no,

I swear to you, nothing happened!

-I didn't hit on her. -Good.

Yes, I'm gonna keep it that way.

-Yeah! -Relax, everybody.

These guys, they either think you're a prude or a slut,

so just make the first move.

Ryan, please don't listen to Caitlyn's advice

on how to get the fastest reputation

and how to never end up with a serious boyfriend.

You'll end up a super senior like her.

My advice, fuck Leo and any other guy,

that doesn't have the emotional intelligence

to even know what he wants.

Because you and Sean are so emotionally intelligent?

You're a bully to him and everyone else you meet.

Do you think he actually likes you

or is just too afraid to say otherwise?

Watch your mouth.

Cute sweater, did your nana make it?

Sorry to be nosy, girls, but you all sound pathetic.

Hey, Leprecunts.

I'll deal with you juvenile delinquents after the merger,

but until then, Grecco's my problem and you're trespassing.

Right.

To be continued.

High school boys will do whatever you want

except for their Goddamn homework.

You've got the rest of your lives to play by the rules,

just have your fun while you can.

Fuck what they say.

Appreciate it, Mr. Marshall.

That was a close call, Grecco,

but the deal was you were supposed to swap spit

with a girl, not a dude.

Damn,

guess those rumors are true.

You in line?

Have you seen Sean or Leo?

Dude, what does it look like I'm doing?

I'm waiting for Sean

and no, I haven't seen your little buddy, Leo,

check the girls' room.

So, how's school going for you?

You know, the honor roll's great.

What about you, fight any more defenseless, crippled kids?

Jesus, Jessica, you can't say shit like that anymore

and if anything, I was the cripple.

Sean didn't tell you about the whole sixth sense thing?

Must have forgot.

So,

do you have any single friends by chance?

I don't like to assume things, but Jackie needs a mamasita.

Yeah, I got plenty.

Well, do you happen to have any,

that you could possibly set me up with?

Ooh, I don't know if any of my friends

are into the fat guy fetish, besides Caitlyn.

Why the fuck would you even say that?

Wait, Caitlyn likes me?

Dude, you think she's using you for your looks?

Baby, hi!

Leo just called,

said something about running into the Wrecking Crew.

He was huffing and puffing pretty loud,

so I didn't really hear what he was saying.

He said he was gonna meet us at the party though.

Such a drama queen!

Damn, Jack, I don't understand why we had to park so far.

Party rule 101, baby, never crowd the house,

can't draw any suspicion.

Besides, this actually works out for us.

What the fuck?

It's me, it's me, me!

- Come on, man. - Don't speak.

What the hell are you doing in there?

Is the coast clear?

-Yeah, the coast is clear. -Are you sure?

Yes, what are you doing?

Okay.

-Are you all right? -Yeah, I'm fine.

What's going on with your face, what happened?

What happened?

I told you what happened, I got jumped by the Wrecking Crew.

Are you for real about that?

See, I never know when you're joking around.

Why would I joke about that?

You okay?

Yeah, I mean, like yeah,

one donkey kick from the stallion sent them running,

but I swear they're gonna be back.

Always a spectacle with this one.

Jess, come on.

I, I mean, Lee, why would they attack you?

It's not adding up, it don't make sense.

Well, it kind of does make sense,

'cause you know the whole entire bike situation with Ryan?

So turns out, she's Vince's ex

and somehow he found out that it was us.

-I mean, Jess, -You ran over Ryan?

No, yes.

- My God, you're dead men. - Jess.

I heard a rumor once that Vince hospitalized a college guy

for just trying to talk to her.

Good luck with that, stallion.

Relax, yo, nothing's going down tonight.

We outnumber those cucks a hundred to one.

Well, that's what I thought too, but remember my shadow?

-Yeah. -Evan,

turns out he was an informant for St. Matt's, okay,

so that means there might be more of them in there.

Okay, what I need you guys to do is I need you guys

to go in there and just survey the premises

to make sure nothing's fishy, okay, all right?

Yeah, okay, bye.

No, I need you to do this for me.

-Yeah, yeah, man. -Promise?

I just need you to take a look around, all right.

-I got you, I got you. -When the coast is clear?

Yes, I got you, I got you, just chill in the bush

and wait for the call, we got you.

Thank you, I'll gallop to like the side entrance, okay,

the side entrance.

Yo, shit, come on, boy, come on, boy.

Okay now, give me a hand, let's go, let's go.

-Pizzo, hey! -Hey, bro!

Yeah, let's go, smoke a cig, baby.

♪ Talking all that shit, you think I'm dumb? ♪

♪ You tell me that you love me but I'm done ♪

♪ Why you only call me when you're drunk ♪

♪ Why you play with my emotions, you be having fun ♪

♪ Talking all that shit, you think I'm dumb? ♪

♪ Tell me that you love me, but I'm done ♪

♪ Bowser junior on you motherfuckers, ♪

♪ I be spitting fire ♪

♪ Skirting in the fast lane, ooh, Imma need new tires ♪

♪ Just to piss you off, Imma hit your best friend now ♪

♪ Walk in on the act. Jaw dropping all you said was wow! ♪

♪ Why you only call me when you're drunk ♪

♪ Why you play with my emotions, you be having fun ♪

♪ Talking all that shit, you think I'm dumb? ♪

♪ Tell me that you love me, but I'm done ♪

Go, go, go, go!

You know, I'm an athlete.

Two shots.

Let's go.

Okay, perfect, well, we shook hands, kissed babies,

-Let's Irish goodbye. -Come on, babe,

we just got here.

Plus I told Jack we got next game.

Right, promised Jack the next game, right.

I can't believe I actually thought you'd go through

with this whole, "This night's about us" bullshit.

I mean, come on, Sean,

this is exactly what I was talking about.

God, you let your friends drag you

through unnecessary trouble and drama 24/7

and we keep drifting further and further apart.

I don't know how much more disappointment

I can take from you.

You're right.

Tonight was supposed to be all about us, right?

Come on, let's get up outta here.

You're not actually going, are you?

Babe, you sure you wanna do this tonight?

You sure, you sure you're ready for this?

Shut up.

Hey, the coast is clear.

Psst, up here!

Are you sure?

Well, if they're not in there, then they must be out here,

so I'd hurry up.

Good point.

It's a lot higher than I thought, God!

Let's go.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Did you have fun tonight?

Why, you leaving?

I'm not leaving here until someone drags me home.

I'm talking about the social.

Yeah, duh, we always have fun together.

So, Caitlyn.

I got a question for you.

How's it feel to be dating the bad boy,

who's about to be expelled from high school?

Last time I checked,

I'm not dating anyone

and from what I hear, the rumors of your expulsion

have been greatly exaggerated

and as the only super senior, take it from me,

just keep fucking shit up.

Well, at least we can still agree that I'm a wild child.

I guess it's good for my rep,

if people think I'm dating a rebel.

Dating? Last I checked, you weren't dating anyone.

Touché.

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

-Hey, whoa, fuck off, Grecco. -Sorry.

♪ Girl, you know I'm in love ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

You made it.

Yeah, I did.

-Yeah. -I made it.

Um, I'm here in the flesh alive.

It's you.

It's me.

Um, I saw a keg back in the laundry room,

I think we should grab a drink.

In that room?

Yeah, laundry room, me, you now.

-No, it's- -Okay.

I'm right behind you.

Three, four, five!

five whole seconds.

This is Giorgio Armani, you can't dry clean this.

It'll never come out.

Wait, Gene, leave it open in here.

Okay.

What's up, Ryan?

Hey, Tony.

So I don't know if you saw, but I DMed you a couple times.

Nice.

Yo, me too actually.

That reminds me, I'm so sorry,

I didn't respond back to your DM.

Wait, you've been DMing Grecco?

I, like once or twice,

but you know, he's a hard pony to tame.

Stallion.

Damn, Grecco, just don't fuck this up,

-'cause I've got dibs next. -All good.

Yo, let's go steal some of those lawn ornaments

from the neighbors and put them out front.

Totally, man, I'll work out with you soon,

maybe like, who knows?

Great guys.

Yeah, they seem nice.

Baby, are you sure this is okay?

Yeah, baby.

Maybe, um, maybe find a spot more secluded,

tree cover or something?

I just seen an old lady walk past

with a whole pack of dogs.

Did you see that? Somebody gonna spot us, call the cops.

I can't go to juvie, Mom gonna kill me.

God, Sean, will you shut up?

Look, we're down the street from a house party

and you seriously think a parked car's gonna be suspicious?

I just thought our first time

was gonna be a little bit more romantic?

Well, sweetheart, I'm sorry I can't deflower you

at the Edison Park Motel or would you prefer

we keep fooling around in my basement avoiding my sisters?

Hello?

- Shit, it's Tony. - Damn!

Who's in there? Murphy, Murphy, is that you?

Come on, open up.

I'm gonna kill him.

No, no, ssh, ssh!

-Quiet, quiet. -I know somebody's in there.

-I wanna see. -Quiet.

-Come on, let me in. -What the hell are you doing?

Come on, man, let's go back to the party,

I can't find any stray cats to put in the house.

Aw, man, that prank is classic.

Yeah, man.

All right, I'll see you.

Pizzo, wait up, man, it's dark out here.

Well, did you come prepared?

All right, I know this isn't ideal,

this is only gonna make us closer.

I want us to do this together.

I love you, Sean.

I love you too.

-He's a dead man. -House is down the street.

I can smell Grecco's pussy from here.

He's at that party, I know it.

You're like a damn bloodhound, Vince.

Where the hell are you going?

You put it on the child lock?

Yeah, 'cause I knew something like this was gonna happen.

Come on, Jess.

Will you shut the fuck up,

you keep comparing us to animals

and it's the dumbest shit that I've ever heard.

My buddy told me that he was there.

Pick it up.

Put it in your fucking mouth.

Don't ever fucking touch me again, you dumb redneck.

Let's go to jail tonight.

I gotta stop them,

I gotta go warn Lee, if I don't, they're gonna kill him.

Are you seriously gonna leave me

in the middle of our first time?

You'd rather get your ass beat than have sex with me?

Sorry, babe, rain check.

You know what, you three deserve each other!

We're fucking done!

Aren't you pussies a little far from the ghetto?

This doesn't concern you, Tony, where's Grecco?

Yeah, he's in here,

but don't you bitches have an elephant walk to get to?

Fuck you, Tony.

The Goddamn shirt again.

Yeah, well, your sister already did, so go home

and tell Dad she'll be late for dinner tonight.

Now get the fuck out of here.

I'll kill you for that, I'm not afraid.

Whoa, that's enough.

What?

There you go.

Thank you.

So why haven't you responded to my DMs?

Like just been overwhelmed and there's just, you know,

it's like Santa's list, just who's naughty, who's nice,

who's naughty, who's nice, you know, kind of get lost.

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

And what list do I fall on?

Well, I mean, if we're strictly talking

like personality wise, nice, the nicest.

Nice?

Nicest.

So what list would you land on?

Me, I would probably fall on like bad,

like I, I think I would like--

-Bad? -Naughty.

Naughty?

Probably.

-Whoa! -Caitlyn.

- My- -Let me help.

How long have you been in there?

-I'm in a skirt, let's go. -Okay.

-Let's go. -You're good.

Leo, hey!

Look at you go, nice, bro.

I owe you one, you saved my ass back there, bro.

I am way too drunk for a heart to heart, stallion.

I know, that's my bad, I just,

I don't know what I'm doing.

Ryan was this close,

milliseconds away from kissing me, bro,

-this close. -I'm not gonna lie,

that naughty nice line you just pulled, pretty impressive.

You liked that one, that was pretty good.

Just, bro, I can't do this, okay, just can't do it.

What was that for?

Get it together, Leo.

What are you talking about?

Tony and Pizzo will gladly try to commit the robbery.

What are you talking about?

What am I talking about, what am I talking about?

Damn!

What was that for?

Your first kiss is out of the way!

What the hell, bro?

The world's your Goddamn oyster, go get them!

Calm seas never made skilled sailors!

Are you okay?

Hey, we gotta get the hell outta here.

Is that a balloon in your pocket,

or are you just excited to see us?

Shit.

I guess that's what my headboard feels like.

There's no time to explain,

I honestly ran in here for a reason, Wrecking Crew's here.

Who is that?

You,

get your ass out here now.

Light, light.

One's not enough for this guy?

Well, he's going for everything I got,

he's making me look like a bitch!

What are we gonna do, Vince?

Tony's not gonna let us in, I gotta get my dad's car back,

-I can't be out all night. -Ssh!

If that fucking rat won't come out of his hole,

then we're gonna smoke him out.

Chubbs, give me my phone.

The rest of you get in the bushes around the house,

wait for my signal.

911 Emergency.

I'm at 1111 Osceola Street,

there's a party and I just heard gunshots, hurry, please.

Stay calm, sir, help is on--

No.

Yeah, I'm dead.

Leo, I'm so sorry I got you involved in this.

-Vince is crazy. -I found that out.

Will you guys shut the hell up?

We outnumber them 100 to one, right, Jack?

Come on, come on, bro.

Wake up, wake up.

Don't black out right now, man.

They're en route.

Jack, what's that?

He's probably just having a bad dream or something,

-he'll be fine. -Three squad cars,

eight blocks out, Paddy wagon not far behind.

ETA three minutes, maybe less.

Okay, what the hell was that?

That's his sixth sense kicking in.

Somebody called the cops, now we really gotta go.

Come on, man, get your drunk ass up.

Hey, hey, hey, it's only a couple blocks to my house.

We make it there and we're good.

In your boot?

-Yeah, yeah. -You can make that?

Yeah, I'll try.

Get your bitch ass up.

We stay down here till the chaos upstairs sorts itself out.

I'm sure we'll be able to slip away.

You know kids go crazy when they see 12 pull up.

They've arrived.

Sean, you sure that we're gonna be safe down here?

Open the door, you idiots,

there's 100 of us here, we need to get through the back!

Well shit!

Open the door!

Open up, Grecco, 5-0's inside turning the place over,

so I know you're fucked!

What the hell do we do?

I don't know about y'all, I'm going out fighting.

We're gonna need the bull. Come on, buddy, come on!

Wake up man, wake up, Jack!

Grecco!

Go!

Go!

-Bitch! -Wait, hold up!

-The bull is back, baby. -Get that bitch!

Get over here, pussy!

Let's go, come on, run!

Go, go, go, go, go!

Jesus, fuck!

Wait, wait, wait, take that off.

Gimme the boot! Fuck!

-Upstairs? -Upstairs, it's the only way.

A drinking ticket, way better than an a--

Okay, just fucking go, just go!

Hey, open the damn door!

-Shit! -Pizzo!

Holy shit, dude!

This is the craziest party I've ever been to!

Leo!

-Go, go, go! -Go!

Don't fucking run from me, bitch.

Move it, folks!

Let's go, let's go.

Get over there, get over there!

Just get over there!

Taser, taser, taser!

- Stop right there! - I'm sober, I'm sober.

-Come on, come on, come on! -We got a bogey on the roof.

Out of the way, out of the way!

It wasn't me, I'm sorry!

Go, go, go!

Stop where you are, freeze!

-I gotta think. -Come on!

Go through the neighborhood. Jump over this fence!

Come on, come on, hurry up, hurry up!

Don't let them get away!

Leo, help me, help me.

Come on.

They're coming!

-It's a fucking 4-foot pool! -I know.

What the fuck!?

That's right, that's, that's...

Hey, guys, if we go this way to Ryan's,

then I think that we're gonna go in the stupidest--

-Guys! -Jack!

Get you up, you're okay, you're okay.

All right, 911, let's go, hospital.

-No, no! -Hospital.

Leo?

Abandon ship, abandon ship. Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Let's go,

let's go, let's go!

Wait, Riggs.

Wow, I heard of a surprise party,

but this is a whole different level.

Nice work, Nozak.

What the hell's going on here, Lukey?

Mr. Riggs, my savior, can you please help us?

I said don't run.

Wrecking Crew!

Riggs, go, go!

We'll fuck you up!

Kick him in the fucking face!

Come on, man, let's get your drunk ass home.

Come on, guys, come on, come on, come on.

My house is only a couple of blocks away.

Bitch!

Hey, come on.

We gotta go!

-This is my house right here. -Okay.

-We, we should go in now. -Yeah.

Wait, Ryan.

Vince, he's probably going to expect us here

and he's coming for me, not you, all right,

so you should wait here with Caitlyn, okay?

-Leo, I don't-- -No, it's, it will be fine.

Okay, just trust me on this.

Yeah, you're slowing us down

with that busted ass wheel you got.

Yeah, he's got a point.

Look, we'll just go up to the school,

that's like right up the block, all right,

we'll lay low there, I promise, we'll be fine.

It'll be fine, all right, just, just stay here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See you around.

What? We might die tonight, all right?

That's my boy, that's my fucking boy.

I love how the guy with a girlfriend

got me least amount of action tonight.

Jack, are you sure you don't need to go to hospital?

You know something, Grecco?

You did this.

This is all on you.

Get the fuck on your knees!

Take a look at your buddies.

I said look at them.

Fuck you, Vince!

Shut up, you fat bitch!

Yo, chill, man!

Shut the fuck up.

You know, Vince.

One day you're gonna be a gentleman

and you won't be so alone.

I am a gentleman, Grecco.

I'm quite offended that you don't think so.

This is about you having a sick crush,

a fucking perverted fetish.

Vince, Vince, Vince, Vince, Vince,

I didn't even know you were dating Ryan, okay?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Ryan? That prude was just the icing on the cake.

This is so much bigger than her.

Whoo!

We got a merger on our hands, boys

and this is just a taste.

With all my heart, I promise, starting from the day we merge

until the day we graduate, I,

Will put you through a whirlwind of hell,

every fucking day.

You hear that, Grecco?

I'm gonna find you when you're all alone one night,

you remember that, you fucking rat.

Evan, what did Grecco call himself again?

Stallion.

Please, please, please.

Come on, stallion.

Every fucking day!

I'd lower that fist of yours, boy.

My dad's PD.

You're screwed, old man.

Yeah?

So's every other guy in this neighborhood,

join the club, son.

Let me guess, his daddy's a fireman?

I'll give you three seconds to walk away

or you're gonna be on the ground next to stallion here,

you old son of a bitch.

One,

two.

I got eyes on the suspects.

Dead end alley, on the south side.

Osceola Avenue.

10-4.

Wait, who is this?

You got a 30 second head start, go.

Why?

'Cause you kids look pathetic.

I'd say we're even for last night's prank?

Besides, these punks have been making it personal for years,

so you boys are in luck tonight,

'cause the enemy of my enemy

is my friend.

I'm getting expelled come Monday, boys,

so letting me drink alone just isn't an option.

It'll be all right, Jackie.

OLC couldn't handle you anyways.

And besides, I need you to introduce me

to the new girls at your new school, man.

Since I'm a single man now.

Chin up, bud.

I'm sure you and Jess will be back together in a week,

when this all blows over,

and the dust settles from my funeral.

Keep in mind, this is just your first expulsion.

When all this is said and done,

like I'm sure there's bound to be a couple more of them.

Man, at least your fate's sealed.

I have no clue what I'm gonna do about Jess.

Well, to be completely real with you, bro,

I think she's a bitch, constantly negs you

and fat shames me at every chance.

I think you should never talk to her again.

I think she's kind of turned you into a simp.

My first girlfriend, my first kiss.

I feel like, like I should wanna be with her, right?

I feel like I should wanna lose my virginity to her.

Okay, Sean,

the first one should always be 100% certain though, okay?

Sounds like you're not.

I doubt you're gonna look back and say,

"I wish I hadn't spent so much time

fucking around with my best friends

and dedicated more time to my high school girlfriend."

Amen.

I don't know if it's the alcohol talking

or the blood loss, but you're making a lot of sense.

Guys, I know you think I'm nuts,

but I'm gonna tell Ms. Kerpial how I feel.

I say tell Ms. Kerpial everything

and best case scenario,

you and me enroll in a new school together,

when you get tossed for trying to bang a fucking teacher.

I mean, that wouldn't happen

till the third or fourth date, but you know.

Be one 100 with me,

why not Ryan?

It's this teacher, man, she's ruined me completely.

I put her on this pedestal

and it's just like,

I know it sounds stupid, I know,

'cause Ryan is clearly a great girl, clearly,

but I just haven't seen

any of these high school girls that way.

Now how is she Ms. Kerpial?

I just wish I could go back and do things differently.

I don't even wanna go home.

I just know everything's gonna be different

in the morning, you know?

Yeah, man.

I'm sorry I brought the wrath of the Wrecking Crew

on us last night.

Thank you guys for being there.

What?

I didn't wanna face those guys by myself.

Don't even bring that up.

You know we always gonna have your back.

I love you, bro.

Love you guys.

Let's go.

Jesus Christ.

What the hell, Coach?

You been there the whole time?

I know I just spent the last few years saying

you're all a bunch of soft-serve pansies,

but I just sat here and listened to the whole damn thing

and not once did you discuss running away.

Don't get me wrong, you're completely fucked,

but you're ready to deal with your problems head on.

That takes balls and character. Proud of you men.

But what the hell do I know?

My wife and kid just changed the locks

and I fought off a raccoon for a half a cheeseburger.

Scram, all right.

You're depressing the shit outta me.

See you guys Monday?

See you Monday, bro.

See you Monday, man.

So do you have anything to say for yourself?

Jesus, what the hell happened to you?

What do you think happened? I got jumped by like 50 guys.

And who told you that was gonna happen?

Do you know how frustrating it is

to see the person that you care about

throw themselves in harm's way again and again?

But I didn't have a choice.

But you did, you did have a choice

and it's me or them.

I have been feeling a bit selfish,

but I feel like we both have.

We both know exactly what we want,

but we don't want the same thing.

I don't know if I can keep doing this.

And I feel like we shouldn't force each other

on certain things.

We're just in high school.

I'm sorry, how are we both being selfish?

What have I done to be selfish?

Ask you to make time for me?

Worry about you, warn you about a new school?

God, make sweaters for us, love you?

I love you, Jess.

I'm the one who texted you that we needed to talk!

I'm the one that was left alone in the car, embarrassed!

I'm the one out of your league

and after everything that I've been through for you,

you have the audacity to break up with me.

Take that pathetic breakup

and shove it up your own ass, you prude.

Sorry it had to end like this.

Have fun with that merger,

I'm sure the endless amount of beatings you're gonna get

will only be a fraction of what you--

Got it, mutual breakup.

I gotta say, you always seem to surprise me, Nozak.

I mean, I knew this day would eventually come,

I'll be honest, but even I gave you enough credit

not to think it would be three whole damn days

since I last saw you.

Do you know how many phone calls I got about you

over the weekend alone?

I have got an entire group of boys ready to roll on you.

It's pretty sad you're so willing to listen to rumors.

Rumors?

I'm an innocent man, and I look forward to my chance

to meet with the school board.

You're not meeting with the school board, son.

No, Nozak, man, I gotta give it to you, I really do.

I like it though, you're fighting to the very end.

It's admirable, but it's not gonna work this time.

You know how hard it is

to get someone expelled from this school?

But you keep outdoing yourself.

You really do.

See, OLC isn't gonna do anything to jeopardize this merger

and you, you are a problem child.

You managed to get into not only one, but two fights

with St. Matt's the week before the merger!

I mean, even for you, that is impressively stupid!

But hey, what do I know?

We're talking about Mr. Nozak.

So, what else you got for me, Nozak?

'Cause it's over for you.

Dean Whitman, are you in charge here?

I am, but I-I haven't called anyone,

there's no need for criminal charges yet.

A parent called us, sir,

I'm afraid we've got a pretty serious situation here.

I need you to drop everything, come with us.

Damn, Nozak,

what the hell did you do now?

This is in regard to a teacher, sir,

I need you to take us to their classroom immediately.

There's been some accusations.

Stay right here, son, don't move.

Let's go, gentlemen.

Leonardo, it's Monday,

you know we don't have tutoring.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

My God, Leo, what happened?

I'm fine, this is nothing.

That's definitely not nothing. Do your parents know?

Do we need to go to someone?

No, actually, there is no one else that I need to talk to

more than you right now.

Okay.

What's going on?

You know, you can tell me anything, you can trust me.

Okay.

That being said then, here goes nothing.

I just feel like an idiot, um,

this place can be so hard sometimes

and guys can really get in your head.

What I'm trying to say is um,

I can feel like this thunderstorm inside of me

like whenever I see you.

Leonardo, what are you trying to say?

What I'm trying to say is that I'm head over heels,

moonstruck for you.

Don't.

I just had to tell you.

I'll transfer to Spanish and I, you know,

you can tell the school board if you have to,

but um, I can't keep torturing myself.

So um, I guess this is goodbye, all right.

Leonardo.

Yeah.

You can't say things like that out loud.

Emily Kerpial, you're under arrest

for engaging in sexual activity with a minor.

No, no, no, I, okay, I-I came in here, she's innocent,

-I just walked in. -Are you Vince Morelli?

No.

Well, this doesn't concern you, son.

Please put your hands behind your back, ma'am.

Vince, are you kidding me?

No, you gotta be kidding, you're handcuffing a teacher?

-No, are you serious? -Control your student.

You're gonna let this happen in your school?

-Just get outta here. -Let's go.

♪ You just have to say that ♪

Wait, Ms. Kerpial.

♪ You'll be mine ♪

♪ Still I would do it all again ♪

♪ I can hold you if you cry tonight ♪

♪ And I would do it all again ♪

Wait, Ms. Kerpial!

Holy shit, what's going on?

It turns out Kerpial's been sleeping with Vince all year.

I guess he turned her in to reduce his sentence.

Now he's being shipped cross country to juvie?

-No, she wouldn't do that. -Why would she do that?

Signora!

Signora!

Did I ever have a chance?

What the hell's going on?

Kerpial's been hooking up with Vince.

He ratted her out.

So wait, wait, so you're saying

Leo actually had a chance with her?

Poor kid.

Let's go, guys, let's go, let's go, inside, inside.

Let's go, gentlemen, move, move.

Let's go, let's go, inside, inside, inside.

I don't know what I'm gonna tell the school board.

I don't know.

No, I understand, yeah, all right.

Hey, don't touch me, Nozak.

What's wrong with you, man?

Dean Whitman, so what's this mean for me?

What does it mean? What does it mean?

Open your eyes, are you blind? Look around you.

We'll be lucky if this merger even happens now,

but for you, it means Saturday morning JUGs

until you graduate, you understand?

'Cause if you don't, I'll find another reason to expel you.

Okay, Nozak?

Great day to be a Owl, son,

great day.

Hey, all right, get everybody in the back.

I'm free.

Me too.

Me three.

You know, I'm actually really excited

to try things with Ryan,

I think we really have a connect--, shoot!

You're the one who ran me over on the bike?

What the fuck, Leo?

You spent the whole weekend lying to me

and then you kissed me in the--

So...

Boys weekend?

♪ Owls fly for life, bitch ♪

♪ For life, bitch ♪

♪ Owls fly for life, bitch ♪

♪ Owls fly for life, bitch ♪

♪ For life, bitch ♪

♪ Owls fly for life, bitch ♪

Hey, you can never be too safe

in these trying times.

Listen, boys, we're owls for life.

Any of these kids from St. Matt's come here

and start causing trouble,

they'll receive a spanking from yours truly.

-Whoo! -Whoo, come on!

Boys.

We're Owls for life.

♪ Owls fly for life, bitch ♪

♪ For life, bitch ♪

♪ Owls fly for life, bitch ♪

♪ Owls fly for life, bitch ♪

♪ For life, bitch ♪

♪ Owls fly for life, bitch ♪

♪ Yeah, bitch, they fly ♪

♪ Owls fly for life, bitch ♪

♪ Owls fly for life, bitch ♪

♪ Yeah, bitch, they fly ♪

♪ Owls fly for life, bitch ♪

♪ For life, bitch ♪

We're Owls for life.

♪ Setting sun set a little slow for me ♪

♪ I'm not done ignoring all of my dreams ♪

♪ I've been sick since you've been talking ♪

♪ I've been sick since you were here with me ♪

♪ I don't want to do it again with you with me ♪

♪ I don't even like you ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ I don't want to do it again with you with me ♪

♪ I don't even like you ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ I wanna do it again with you, with me ♪

♪ I don't ever wanna feel you breathe ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪