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1
00:00:01,367 --> 00:00:04,567
Remind my hotel the room
should have freshly cut roses,
2
00:00:04,601 --> 00:00:07,067
champagne on ice,
and some strawberries.
3
00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:08,667
Oh, and some whipped cream.
4
00:00:08,701 --> 00:00:10,901
Whipped cream
for the strawberries.
5
00:00:10,934 --> 00:00:12,400
Yeah.
6
00:00:12,434 --> 00:00:15,367
You use it for that, too.
7
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,033
Everybody here?
8
00:00:17,067 --> 00:00:19,367
Yeah. Can we
speed this up a little?
9
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:22,000
I'd like to beat
the Thanksgiving traffic.
10
00:00:22,033 --> 00:00:23,834
I still have to rent a car.
11
00:00:23,868 --> 00:00:26,367
This year, I'm bringing
the centerpiece.
12
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,901
You are so not straight.
13
00:00:28,934 --> 00:00:31,000
I'm leaving for Jamaica
in two hours,
14
00:00:31,033 --> 00:00:33,567
and you don't see me
rushing to get out of here.
15
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,300
Do I smell coconut?
16
00:00:35,334 --> 00:00:37,334
No, there's no coconut.
17
00:00:37,367 --> 00:00:40,467
You put your
sunscreen on already.
18
00:00:40,501 --> 00:00:42,534
I like to land and tan.
19
00:00:45,634 --> 00:00:48,200
We feel that tomorrow's
Thanksgiving day parade
20
00:00:48,234 --> 00:00:49,667
will be the finest to date.
21
00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:52,100
This year's balloon characters
will include
22
00:00:52,133 --> 00:00:54,968
petey the pilgrim,
Toni the Turkey,
23
00:00:55,000 --> 00:01:00,734
and my personal favorite,
garfield the...
24
00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:03,400
Animal.
25
00:01:03,434 --> 00:01:06,767
I represent the New York
native American council.
26
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:08,968
It's offensive
that in a Thanksgiving parade
27
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,934
there's no balloon that
represents native Americans.
28
00:01:11,968 --> 00:01:16,868
I believe garfield
is 1/10 cherokee.
29
00:01:18,567 --> 00:01:21,234
If there's been an oversight,
it will be corrected.
30
00:01:21,267 --> 00:01:23,234
Are you saying
you're going to produce
31
00:01:23,267 --> 00:01:26,300
a parade-sized native American
balloon in less than 24 hours?
32
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:33,200
That's exactly what I'm saying.
33
00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:02,200
Mindy, how's my favorite dancer?
34
00:02:02,234 --> 00:02:04,901
Sorry...
favorite music-video dancer.
35
00:02:04,934 --> 00:02:07,601
Look, I got an emergency
here at work.
36
00:02:07,634 --> 00:02:10,200
We got to fly out to Jamaica
in the morning.
37
00:02:10,234 --> 00:02:11,701
Okay. Bye-bye.
38
00:02:11,734 --> 00:02:14,868
Well, the rental place
gave my car away.
39
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:17,934
My centerpiece
is already dehydrating.
40
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:21,534
That's the real tragedy,
Carter.
41
00:02:21,567 --> 00:02:23,701
I hope the mayor
doesn't expect us
42
00:02:23,734 --> 00:02:25,400
to find a balloon overnight.
43
00:02:25,434 --> 00:02:28,868
Hey, you think we can get
this balloon by 5:00?
44
00:02:28,901 --> 00:02:32,100
I'm picking up my daughter
at the airport.
45
00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:33,601
Stewart's looking for one.
46
00:02:33,634 --> 00:02:35,534
See if you can find one
47
00:02:35,567 --> 00:02:37,868
that looks like that Indian
48
00:02:37,901 --> 00:02:40,200
that cries when people litter.
49
00:02:40,234 --> 00:02:42,934
Excellent choice, sir.
50
00:02:45,634 --> 00:02:48,667
He bit my pilgrim!
51
00:02:50,234 --> 00:02:51,601
Hi, mindy.
52
00:02:51,634 --> 00:02:53,434
It's usually in the 80s,
53
00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:55,667
but Jamaica
does get cold at night,
54
00:02:55,701 --> 00:02:58,267
so you might want to bring
your bikini tops.
55
00:02:58,300 --> 00:02:59,767
Bye-bye.
56
00:02:59,801 --> 00:03:02,868
I think it's sad how you're
spending your Thanksgiving.
57
00:03:02,901 --> 00:03:06,834
I'll use mindy's bikini tops
to dry my tears.
58
00:03:06,868 --> 00:03:09,234
That is so you.
59
00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:10,701
What does that mean?
60
00:03:10,734 --> 00:03:12,300
When it comes to dating,
61
00:03:12,334 --> 00:03:15,000
you don't exactly like
to be challenged mentally.
62
00:03:15,033 --> 00:03:18,834
Well, there are other ways
to be challenged.
63
00:03:18,868 --> 00:03:20,767
Don't take this the wrong way.
64
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,667
I just think you're pathetic.
65
00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:25,167
What's the right way
to take that?
66
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,567
Don't take this the wrong way,
67
00:03:28,601 --> 00:03:30,801
but I don't care
what you think.
68
00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:32,634
Okay, forget I said anything.
69
00:03:32,667 --> 00:03:35,834
But for the record,
mindy is not a bimbo.
70
00:03:35,868 --> 00:03:37,667
I'm guessing she's perky,
71
00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:40,501
she says painfully
obvious things like,
72
00:03:40,534 --> 00:03:42,501
"New York's really crowded."
73
00:03:44,334 --> 00:03:47,434
And for work, she's a dancer.
74
00:03:47,467 --> 00:03:49,534
She's a music-video dancer.
75
00:03:50,968 --> 00:03:53,567
There's a difference.
76
00:03:56,467 --> 00:03:57,801
This is terrible.
77
00:03:57,834 --> 00:04:00,133
Don't worry, we'll find
a balloon for the parade.
78
00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:01,801
Like I really care about that.
79
00:04:01,834 --> 00:04:03,601
I got bigger problems to fry.
80
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:06,367
My mother decided to pay me
a surprise visit,
81
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:07,934
and I haven't even told her
82
00:04:07,968 --> 00:04:10,267
that Claudia left me
to become a nun.
83
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,167
How could you not tell her?
84
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,467
She never asked.
85
00:04:14,501 --> 00:04:16,133
That's weird,
86
00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:19,801
my mom always asks if my wife
left me to become a nun.
87
00:04:19,834 --> 00:04:21,801
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
88
00:04:21,834 --> 00:04:22,901
Mom!
89
00:04:22,934 --> 00:04:24,133
Ooh, mom!
90
00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:25,567
Here, look, oh.
91
00:04:25,601 --> 00:04:28,400
I got these for you.
92
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:30,934
Oh, they're lovely, Paul.
Thank you.
93
00:04:30,968 --> 00:04:32,567
Mom, you remember Carter.
94
00:04:32,601 --> 00:04:34,834
You look better
every time I see you.
95
00:04:34,868 --> 00:04:37,334
We should see each other
more often.
96
00:04:37,367 --> 00:04:39,067
Let me put those in some water.
97
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,501
I'll hold on to them.
98
00:04:40,534 --> 00:04:42,567
Mom, this is Charlie,
the new guy.
99
00:04:42,601 --> 00:04:44,167
Charlie, this is my mother.
100
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,534
Your mother, of course.
101
00:04:48,033 --> 00:04:50,667
The resemblance is scary.
102
00:04:50,701 --> 00:04:52,701
Paul, I made this pumpkin pie.
103
00:04:52,734 --> 00:04:54,167
It's Claudia's favorite.
104
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,968
I'm gonna put it in the fridge.
105
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,634
Great idea, I'll hold...
106
00:04:57,667 --> 00:04:59,834
I'll hold those flowers
for you!
107
00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:04,767
That's your mother?
108
00:05:04,801 --> 00:05:06,133
Yep.
109
00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:07,901
She was married to your father?
110
00:05:07,934 --> 00:05:09,601
Yep.
111
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:13,033
And they had you?
112
00:05:13,067 --> 00:05:14,601
Yep.
113
00:05:20,601 --> 00:05:22,701
Have you guys met Paul's mom?
114
00:05:22,734 --> 00:05:25,968
Yep.
Yep.
115
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,234
Is there a valid explanation?
116
00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:32,601
Nope.
Nope.
117
00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:36,167
All right, Stewart,
let's see what you got.
118
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:40,000
I think you're gonna
like this a lot.
119
00:05:43,067 --> 00:05:47,133
That doesn't exactly shout
"Thanksgiving."
120
00:05:47,167 --> 00:05:50,033
She was a stage prop
from kiss' "lick it up" tour.
121
00:05:51,667 --> 00:05:55,968
When I said we needed a balloon
to satisfy native Americans,
122
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,300
I didn't mean sexually.
123
00:05:58,334 --> 00:06:00,400
My daughter
is coming to visit me.
124
00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:03,701
I don't want her seeing me
walking in a parade with that.
125
00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:06,467
I already have a guy
working on buckskin outfit
126
00:06:06,501 --> 00:06:08,667
to cover the, uh, fun parts.
127
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,534
That's not bad.
What do you think?
128
00:06:14,567 --> 00:06:16,033
I think
129
00:06:16,067 --> 00:06:18,667
Hello, Jamaica!
130
00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:20,000
All right, then,
131
00:06:20,033 --> 00:06:21,901
if you'll excuse me,
132
00:06:21,934 --> 00:06:25,801
I'm gonna go see
if I can find Paul's mom.
133
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,234
It's Thanksgiving.
134
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,200
Why is your mom
hanging around city hall?
135
00:06:34,234 --> 00:06:36,767
If she sees my apartment
she'll know Claudia's gone.
136
00:06:36,801 --> 00:06:38,868
She keeps asking me about her.
137
00:06:38,901 --> 00:06:40,334
Change the subject.
138
00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:42,267
Maybe she'll forget
I was married.
139
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:44,367
She's baking the woman pies.
140
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,667
Don't worry, the pies
will be taken care of.
141
00:06:46,701 --> 00:06:47,834
Paul...
142
00:06:47,868 --> 00:06:48,834
Oh.
143
00:06:48,868 --> 00:06:50,367
Isn't there something...
144
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,567
Paul has something to tell you.
145
00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:54,701
Be strong.
146
00:06:54,734 --> 00:06:56,434
Well, this is the thing.
147
00:06:56,467 --> 00:07:00,901
Mommy, Claudia and I
aren't together anymore.
148
00:07:00,934 --> 00:07:04,100
My poor little pumpkin
is all alone?
149
00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:06,267
Oh, Paul, I'm heartbroken.
150
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,033
Don't be heartbroken.
151
00:07:08,067 --> 00:07:09,767
I'm... I'm not alone.
152
00:07:09,801 --> 00:07:11,367
You're not?
153
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,968
No, no.
154
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,000
I've got Caitlin.
155
00:07:15,033 --> 00:07:17,000
You two are dating?
156
00:07:17,033 --> 00:07:19,133
Oh, that's wonderful!
157
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:23,501
Be strong.
158
00:07:26,267 --> 00:07:28,667
That was mindy.
She's on her way up.
159
00:07:28,701 --> 00:07:29,901
Excellent.
160
00:07:29,934 --> 00:07:32,300
Now you'll see
that she's not a bimbo.
161
00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:34,100
I thought my opinion
didn't matter.
162
00:07:34,133 --> 00:07:35,100
It doesn't.
163
00:07:35,133 --> 00:07:37,267
Then why have
this conversation?
164
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,300
Huh?
165
00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:39,767
Huh?
166
00:07:39,801 --> 00:07:42,701
I don't know
what Paul sees in you.
167
00:07:46,334 --> 00:07:47,701
Hey, handsome.
168
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:48,968
Hi!
169
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,534
Sorry I'm late.
170
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:53,434
Did you notice,
New York is really crowded?
171
00:07:53,467 --> 00:07:56,367
Yes, it is really crowded.
172
00:07:56,400 --> 00:08:01,467
That's a very keen observation
on urban density.
173
00:08:01,501 --> 00:08:04,534
Hey, the mayor's on tv.
174
00:08:13,267 --> 00:08:16,634
your family's finally gonna get
that centerpiece after all.
175
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,667
Her top just fell off.
176
00:08:23,701 --> 00:08:25,601
She's topless.
177
00:08:25,634 --> 00:08:29,968
Hey, I went to that concert!
178
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:37,267
guys!
179
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:39,434
Guys!
180
00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:42,834
Oh, my God... Stewart!
181
00:08:52,033 --> 00:08:54,701
to recap...
182
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,801
In our efforts
to be more sensitive
183
00:08:56,834 --> 00:08:58,300
toward native Americans,
184
00:08:58,334 --> 00:09:00,534
we now have
a topless 40-foot Indian
185
00:09:00,567 --> 00:09:02,000
floating around Manhattan.
186
00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:05,934
I knew you were putting too much
helium in those breasts.
187
00:09:05,968 --> 00:09:08,701
Until this is solved, we are
stuck here on Thanksgiving.
188
00:09:08,734 --> 00:09:10,367
How bad is it?
189
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:13,834
She's taking out power lines,
billboards.
190
00:09:13,868 --> 00:09:16,400
It's like an x-rated Godzilla.
191
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,601
I can't believe my vacation
is being ruined
192
00:09:20,634 --> 00:09:22,100
by some stupid sex toy.
193
00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:25,501
That reminds me,
mindy's been looking for you.
194
00:09:25,534 --> 00:09:27,033
Okay, I get it.
195
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,400
You don't think
mindy's very smart.
196
00:09:29,434 --> 00:09:32,501
Again, I thought my opinion
didn't matter to you.
197
00:09:32,534 --> 00:09:34,767
Again, it doesn't.
198
00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:37,667
Which is why I never mentioned
she finished number one
199
00:09:37,701 --> 00:09:39,167
in her high school class.
200
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,434
You said
she was home-schooled.
201
00:09:42,868 --> 00:09:44,868
She beat out two sisters.
202
00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:48,934
Now, guys, we need ideas
on solving this balloon thing.
203
00:09:48,968 --> 00:09:50,601
I say we shoot it down.
204
00:09:50,634 --> 00:09:52,267
Well, that's brilliant.
205
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,501
What better way
to celebrate Thanksgiving
206
00:09:54,534 --> 00:09:57,300
than to blast a giant
native American out of the sky?
207
00:09:57,334 --> 00:09:58,901
Yeah, good point.
208
00:09:58,934 --> 00:10:01,634
Before we can shoot it down,
we gotta get permission
209
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,934
from the New York
native American council.
210
00:10:03,968 --> 00:10:06,167
We've got a big mess
on our hands,
211
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,367
and no one's going anywhere
until it's fixed,
212
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,400
and I don't care
if we're here all night!
213
00:10:10,434 --> 00:10:11,868
But it's Thanksgiving!
214
00:10:11,901 --> 00:10:13,400
My holiday is ruined, too.
215
00:10:13,434 --> 00:10:15,701
I was gonna spend it
with my daughter.
216
00:10:15,734 --> 00:10:17,334
Now that's not gonna happen.
217
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,334
Hey, Paul.
What's the update?
218
00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:24,100
She's headed toward
t.G.I. Friday's?
219
00:10:24,133 --> 00:10:27,267
You'r headed toward
t.G.I. Friday's?
220
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:29,534
What's the balloon doing?
221
00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:31,734
She's stuck where?
222
00:10:31,767 --> 00:10:33,133
Damn.
223
00:10:33,167 --> 00:10:36,467
Well, it appears our lady
is in the process
224
00:10:36,501 --> 00:10:39,901
of giving the Chrysler building
a lap dance.
225
00:10:43,868 --> 00:10:46,300
Aaah!
226
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,334
Paul, I can't keep this
on my desk!
227
00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:55,300
Just keep the ones
I put in your wallet.
228
00:10:55,334 --> 00:10:57,534
I can't believe
you went in my wallet.
229
00:10:57,567 --> 00:11:00,334
By the way, I owe you $20
and some stamps.
230
00:11:00,367 --> 00:11:04,033
Paul, I am not comfortable
pretending I'm your girlfriend.
231
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:05,834
You know what it's like
232
00:11:05,868 --> 00:11:08,100
to have someone
who thinks you're perfect?
233
00:11:08,133 --> 00:11:10,100
All my life,
my mom has looked at me
234
00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:12,033
like I'm the sun, moon,
and stars.
235
00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:13,634
As long as I'm dating you,
236
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:16,167
she'll still look at me
that way.
237
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,667
She's only in town another day,
so I guess it's okay.
238
00:11:19,701 --> 00:11:21,167
And I promise you,
239
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:25,300
I will handle this with
the utmost decorum and respect.
240
00:11:25,334 --> 00:11:26,667
Okay?
241
00:11:26,701 --> 00:11:28,400
Ooh, my mom's coming!
242
00:11:28,434 --> 00:11:31,067
Quick, put your hand on my ass!
243
00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:35,534
Hey, you two!
244
00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:37,267
Get your hands off of me.
245
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:40,400
This is so great!
246
00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:45,267
Oh, I gotta get a picture
of this... my two best girls.
247
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:49,167
Okay, let's get something
straight, blondie.
248
00:11:50,634 --> 00:11:52,701
I know what's going on
around here.
249
00:11:52,734 --> 00:11:54,767
Paul's a young hunk
on the rebound,
250
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:57,000
and you're swooping in
like a vulture.
251
00:11:57,033 --> 00:11:59,934
Face it,
he's out of your league.
252
00:11:59,968 --> 00:12:01,200
Picture time!
253
00:12:04,834 --> 00:12:07,100
Mindy, hey, I'm sorry
for the delay.
254
00:12:07,133 --> 00:12:10,601
I still got a little more work
to do on this balloon thing.
255
00:12:10,634 --> 00:12:15,234
Oh, I've got some choreography
to work on, too.
256
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:30,534
Let me know
if I'm disturbing you.
257
00:12:35,868 --> 00:12:39,567
Charlie,
Caitlin's on her way...ln.
258
00:12:39,601 --> 00:12:42,934
Should I tell her
there's a cover charge?
259
00:12:42,968 --> 00:12:45,501
No, just keep her
out there for a second.
260
00:12:45,534 --> 00:12:48,033
Come on, you've been dancing
too much.
261
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:49,367
Sit down.
262
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:53,934
Sit down, relax,
do some casual reading.
263
00:12:53,968 --> 00:12:57,868
"Economic theories
of inner-city development"?
264
00:12:57,901 --> 00:13:00,000
No laughing out loud.
265
00:13:00,033 --> 00:13:02,868
Ooh, look at that fine print.
266
00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:05,267
Here, put on my glasses.
267
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:07,667
Let me see
if I got this straight.
268
00:13:07,701 --> 00:13:09,334
So what you're saying is,
269
00:13:09,367 --> 00:13:11,667
with the urbanization
of society,
270
00:13:11,701 --> 00:13:14,534
agrarian economies
are unsustainable?
271
00:13:16,167 --> 00:13:19,400
It's fascinating!
272
00:13:19,434 --> 00:13:22,434
Oh, hi, Caitlin.
273
00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:25,000
How's it going, mindy?
274
00:13:25,033 --> 00:13:27,968
My head hurts.
275
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,734
Hey, it's Paul's girlfriend.
276
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:34,067
We were just discussing
the problems in eastern Europe.
277
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,400
That's what Charlie
was trying to do.
278
00:13:36,434 --> 00:13:38,601
I was mostly trying
to tickle him.
279
00:13:38,634 --> 00:13:41,534
Tell Caitlin
what you were saying about war.
280
00:13:41,567 --> 00:13:43,300
It's bad.
281
00:13:44,934 --> 00:13:48,434
Mindy, if I don't see you,
have a great trip.
282
00:13:50,033 --> 00:13:52,501
Just think,
once we get on that plane,
283
00:13:52,534 --> 00:13:55,701
we will be together
for 96 straight hours.
284
00:13:57,767 --> 00:14:02,701
Now my head hurts.
285
00:14:04,334 --> 00:14:07,067
We accept your offer of an
authentic native American float
286
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:09,234
in next year's parade.
287
00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:12,167
If you want to shoot down
that balloon,
288
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,701
we support you 100%.
289
00:14:13,734 --> 00:14:15,667
Sir...
290
00:14:15,701 --> 00:14:20,167
Can I keep the giant brassiere?
291
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,901
Well, this is a fine offer.
292
00:14:23,968 --> 00:14:25,400
But I can't accept it.
293
00:14:25,434 --> 00:14:29,801
All we've solved
is the balloon problem.
294
00:14:29,834 --> 00:14:33,267
We have still got hundreds of
years of injustices to address,
295
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:36,701
and we're not leaving until
we deal with every one of them.
296
00:14:37,934 --> 00:14:40,734
Bondek, put on a pot of coffee!
297
00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:43,534
I don't think we can wrap that
up over one pot of coffee.
298
00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:45,968
Do you have any idea how
we've made these people feel?
299
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,100
Why, we have acted like
an ungrateful daughter
300
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:52,434
who promises to have
Thanksgiving with her father
301
00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:54,200
but goes to vail on a whim
302
00:14:54,234 --> 00:14:57,334
because her friend
scores a condo!
303
00:14:57,367 --> 00:15:02,501
The native Americans have waited
300 years to hear those words.
304
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,734
Could you excuse us?
305
00:15:05,767 --> 00:15:10,167
Charlie, I have
a confession to make.
306
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,367
Your daughter blew you off
to go skiing?
307
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,801
You read me like an open book.
308
00:15:16,334 --> 00:15:20,467
I have been looking forward
to her visit for months.
309
00:15:20,501 --> 00:15:23,434
I bought
all of her favorite foods,
310
00:15:23,467 --> 00:15:25,267
I made up her bedroom,
311
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,434
I even went up in the attic
312
00:15:27,467 --> 00:15:30,601
and brought down
her record collection
313
00:15:30,634 --> 00:15:33,200
and her big bag of oregano.
314
00:15:36,567 --> 00:15:39,367
And she ditches me
for a good time!
315
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,100
I'm sorry, sir.
316
00:15:41,133 --> 00:15:43,567
I feel so alone right now.
317
00:15:43,601 --> 00:15:45,968
I mean, you've got mindy.
318
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,934
Carter's got Stewart.
319
00:15:47,968 --> 00:15:49,701
Paul's got...
320
00:15:49,734 --> 00:15:52,234
Caitlin.
321
00:15:52,267 --> 00:15:54,067
Your daughter's young.
322
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,601
It's what kids do.
323
00:15:55,634 --> 00:15:58,634
But she abandoned me
to go party.
324
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:01,934
Did you ever do that
to your parents?
325
00:16:01,968 --> 00:16:04,167
I'm doing it this year.
326
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,200
Just because she
skips one Thanksgiving
327
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:09,167
doesn't mean
she doesn't love you.
328
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,234
What am I worried about?
She's a good kid.
329
00:16:12,267 --> 00:16:15,267
I know she's spending
most of the weekend
330
00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:17,667
cooking with friends.
331
00:16:17,701 --> 00:16:21,400
She asked me to fedex her
the oregano.
332
00:16:21,434 --> 00:16:25,367
I wouldn't put
a return address on that.
333
00:16:28,234 --> 00:16:30,100
Paul!
334
00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:33,000
Paul, I have had it!
I am telling your mom!
335
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,734
You can't!
Abby...
336
00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:36,701
All right, that's it.
337
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:38,734
I'm dumping you.
338
00:16:38,767 --> 00:16:41,667
What?
339
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,667
Don't beg.
You had your shot.
340
00:16:43,701 --> 00:16:45,801
Paul, just tell your mother
the truth.
341
00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:48,200
Okay.
342
00:16:48,234 --> 00:16:50,434
Mom, Caitlin's gay.
343
00:16:51,234 --> 00:16:52,968
I'm out.
344
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,634
Yes, you are.
345
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,467
You be proud, honey!
346
00:16:56,501 --> 00:17:00,133
Paul, is there something
you want to tell me?
347
00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:02,501
I was never dating Caitlin.
348
00:17:02,534 --> 00:17:04,200
I just told you that
349
00:17:04,234 --> 00:17:07,267
because I didn't want you
to be disappointed
350
00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:08,834
that Claudia left me.
351
00:17:08,868 --> 00:17:13,400
I didn't want you to find out
that I wasn't the perfect son.
352
00:17:13,434 --> 00:17:17,801
I don't have the perfect
marriage or the perfect career,
353
00:17:17,834 --> 00:17:19,634
and while we're at it,
354
00:17:19,667 --> 00:17:23,300
I was never captain of
the high school football team.
355
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:25,667
I was just
the equipment manager.
356
00:17:25,701 --> 00:17:27,234
What about the concussion?
357
00:17:27,267 --> 00:17:30,367
I got kicked by a cheerleader.
358
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,167
It may not seem like it now,
359
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:36,067
but what happened with Claudia
is going to end up for the best.
360
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,701
Trust your mother.
361
00:17:37,734 --> 00:17:39,434
Okay.
362
00:17:39,467 --> 00:17:43,601
And I couldn't be
more proud of you.
363
00:17:43,634 --> 00:17:47,200
You're caring and intelligent
and handsome.
364
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:51,334
Not to mention you're
a grand prix racecar driver.
365
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,601
That I am, mom.
366
00:17:56,634 --> 00:17:59,167
That I am.
367
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,667
Good afternoon.
368
00:18:00,701 --> 00:18:02,367
At 3:44 today,
369
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:06,300
I issued an order to shoot downa renegade parade balloon.
370
00:18:06,334 --> 00:18:08,400
Just minutes ago,
371
00:18:08,434 --> 00:18:10,000
an elite SWAT team
372
00:18:10,033 --> 00:18:13,701
successfully carried outoperation "deflation."
373
00:18:13,734 --> 00:18:15,734
There were no casualties.
374
00:18:15,767 --> 00:18:17,467
Excuse me.
375
00:18:17,501 --> 00:18:20,868
Oh, I have just been informedthat during the operation,
376
00:18:20,901 --> 00:18:24,534
the garfield balloonwas hit with friendly fire.
377
00:18:24,567 --> 00:18:27,634
Our prayers go out to himand his fam...
378
00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:30,801
one final note.
379
00:18:30,834 --> 00:18:34,400
A message to the peopleof vail, Colorado...
380
00:18:34,434 --> 00:18:35,968
drink responsibly
381
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,133
and never trusta ski instructor.
382
00:18:44,601 --> 00:18:46,067
Listen, Charlie,
383
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,968
I just wanted to tell you
to have fun in Jamaica.
384
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,567
So, where's mindy?
385
00:18:50,601 --> 00:18:53,434
I decided I didn't want
to go with her.
386
00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:57,467
All she's gonna want to do
is read and drag me to museums.
387
00:18:57,501 --> 00:18:58,901
Museums?
388
00:18:58,934 --> 00:19:02,501
She wanted to see
the jerk chicken exhibit
389
00:19:02,534 --> 00:19:04,300
before it comes to the met.
390
00:19:04,334 --> 00:19:06,501
Okay, I admit it,
391
00:19:06,534 --> 00:19:09,467
I found myself not enjoying
her company so much.
392
00:19:09,501 --> 00:19:11,801
You know, Charlie,
I'm proud of you.
393
00:19:11,834 --> 00:19:13,868
You're not as shallow
as you seem.
394
00:19:13,901 --> 00:19:15,467
Sure I am.
395
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:18,133
From now on,
when it comes to women,
396
00:19:18,167 --> 00:19:20,767
I think you'll be setting
the bar a little higher.
397
00:19:20,801 --> 00:19:22,267
Who wants it higher?
398
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:25,100
Before you, I had it set
right about here.
399
00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:27,734
A lot of women
could get over that bar.
400
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:32,367
Now you've added intelligence
and character and morals.
401
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,400
Where does it end?
402
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:41,267
Abby, I want to apologize
for this whole balloon fiasco.
403
00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:45,234
The last thing I would want
to do would be to offend
404
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,968
one of my employees'
hot mothers.
405
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,667
Randall,
that's very nice of you,
406
00:19:50,701 --> 00:19:53,000
but not at all necessary.
407
00:19:53,033 --> 00:19:56,234
We are adults, we've seen
women's breasts before.
408
00:19:56,267 --> 00:19:58,934
Yes, we have.
409
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:05,067
Well, everybody,
the crisis is over!
410
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:07,734
I want to thank you all
for your hard work,
411
00:20:07,767 --> 00:20:09,968
and now go,
go enjoy your holiday.
412
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,133
Actually,
my plans fell through,
413
00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:15,100
if you don't mind, I'd like
to spend Thanksgiving with you.
414
00:20:15,133 --> 00:20:17,000
I'd like that, Charlie.
415
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,701
Uh, you know,
I missed the train.
416
00:20:20,734 --> 00:20:23,067
And it's too late for me
to go to my parents'.
417
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:25,501
We could all have dinner
at the mansion
418
00:20:25,534 --> 00:20:28,501
like one big happy family!
419
00:20:28,534 --> 00:20:30,968
Come on, everybody,
my limo awaits!
420
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,801
Abby, you come with me.
421
00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:37,200
The rest of you guys,
grab a cab.
422
00:20:37,234 --> 00:20:38,634
Oh, oh, whoa.
423
00:20:38,667 --> 00:20:40,701
I almost forgot
the centerpiece.
424
00:20:40,734 --> 00:20:42,167
Carter, wait.
425
00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:45,400
Perfect.
426
00:20:45,434 --> 00:20:47,367
This will be fun!
427
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,467
And just so you
don't miss mindy too much,
428
00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:53,267
I'll talk about
how crowded the city is
429
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:54,734
and twirl my hair.
430
00:20:54,767 --> 00:20:56,801
She doesn't twirl.
She flips.
431
00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:58,534
Charlie, wait!
432
00:20:58,567 --> 00:21:00,934
I want to tickle you!
433
00:21:12,133 --> 00:21:14,367
Aah!
434
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:15,434
Paul!
435
00:21:15,467 --> 00:21:16,667
What?
436
00:21:16,701 --> 00:21:19,501
I don't
blame you for being upset.
437
00:21:19,534 --> 00:21:22,000
It's not my best side.
438
00:21:24,067 --> 00:21:26,167
That's better.
439
00:21:29,634 --> 00:21:32,100
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.31180
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