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1
00:00:03,934 --> 00:00:05,567
Why are you so jumpy?
2
00:00:05,601 --> 00:00:07,767
I haven't been to church
in years.
3
00:00:07,801 --> 00:00:10,067
God's gonna smite me.
4
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:13,300
We're dedicating this church
as a historic landmark.
5
00:00:13,334 --> 00:00:15,033
So deal with it, sinner boy.
6
00:00:15,067 --> 00:00:17,167
This is important to the mayor.
7
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,367
Can't we just slap a plaque
on this sucker and bolt?
8
00:00:23,634 --> 00:00:25,400
I can't sit in the front row.
9
00:00:25,434 --> 00:00:26,968
I don't know the routine.
10
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,300
Me neither.
11
00:00:28,334 --> 00:00:30,000
Let's make a run for it.
12
00:00:30,033 --> 00:00:31,501
Just follow my lead.
13
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,634
Welcome.
14
00:00:50,868 --> 00:00:52,868
Let us begin
with the responsorial.
15
00:00:59,033 --> 00:01:01,000
Lord, look upon us with mercy.
16
00:01:01,033 --> 00:01:04,467
We pray for our loved ones
who have passed on.
17
00:01:04,501 --> 00:01:07,200
We pray for our great mayor.
18
00:01:11,534 --> 00:01:12,801
Dropped the rule book.
19
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,701
So you're Angie,
the new assistant.
20
00:01:42,734 --> 00:01:45,501
I was wondering
if anyone's told you
21
00:01:45,534 --> 00:01:48,934
about the traditional
new-employee bubble bath.
22
00:01:48,968 --> 00:01:52,300
Not yet,
but I assume you're involved.
23
00:01:52,334 --> 00:01:56,267
Well, I am the bath master.
24
00:02:04,467 --> 00:02:06,501
Good morning, Angie.
25
00:02:06,534 --> 00:02:08,701
I see you've met Stewart.
26
00:02:08,734 --> 00:02:13,000
And don't think the tie
goes with that desk.
27
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:15,767
Let's start. We got a lot
to talk about today.
28
00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:18,467
Could we talk about
the new girl?
29
00:02:18,501 --> 00:02:20,834
I think she's a keeper.
30
00:02:20,868 --> 00:02:22,467
As you all know,
31
00:02:22,501 --> 00:02:25,934
the mayor had a few problems
at yesterday's church service,
32
00:02:25,968 --> 00:02:29,400
including asking the priest,
"what's a guy like you make?"
33
00:02:31,367 --> 00:02:33,601
$32,500.
34
00:02:35,033 --> 00:02:36,467
In two weeks,
35
00:02:36,501 --> 00:02:38,834
the mayor's attending a mass
with the new bishop,
36
00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:40,934
and he needs a religious
refresher course.
37
00:02:40,968 --> 00:02:42,367
I can help.
38
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:43,467
No, you can't.
39
00:02:43,501 --> 00:02:45,634
Why not?
You're evil.
40
00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:48,434
Right.
41
00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:50,701
I sing
with the gay men's choir.
42
00:02:50,734 --> 00:02:52,334
We play some church gigs.
43
00:02:52,367 --> 00:02:54,701
Can anyone beat
the gay singing thing?
44
00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:59,767
My wife, Claudia, teaches
religion at a catholic school.
45
00:02:59,801 --> 00:03:01,234
The nuns just love her.
46
00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:04,100
Let's use Paul's idea.
Schedule it for 1:00.
47
00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:07,767
1:00's no good for you.
48
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,200
Hey, good morning.
49
00:03:15,234 --> 00:03:17,400
Blind man walking.
50
00:03:17,434 --> 00:03:19,834
Can someone help me?
51
00:03:19,868 --> 00:03:21,334
Yes, sir, I can help.
52
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,868
You must be here
53
00:03:22,901 --> 00:03:24,968
for the coalition
for the visually impaired
54
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,567
sight challenge conference.
55
00:03:26,601 --> 00:03:28,834
What tipped you off?
56
00:03:28,868 --> 00:03:30,100
Hello!
57
00:03:30,133 --> 00:03:33,300
My name is Paul.
58
00:03:34,634 --> 00:03:36,434
I'm blind...
59
00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:37,901
Not deaf.
60
00:03:37,934 --> 00:03:40,234
He pushed me. Hey.
61
00:03:40,267 --> 00:03:41,767
You want some of this?
62
00:03:41,801 --> 00:03:43,133
Come here!
63
00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:44,634
What's going on?!
64
00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:47,234
Sorry, he started it!
65
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:49,701
I am so sorry about this.
66
00:03:49,734 --> 00:03:52,834
I hope there's some way
I could make it up to you.
67
00:03:52,868 --> 00:03:55,300
I don't know.
I'm pretty shaken up.
68
00:03:55,334 --> 00:03:58,434
How about a little lunch,
get to know each other?
69
00:03:58,467 --> 00:04:00,901
Well,
I'm kind of seeing someone.
70
00:04:00,934 --> 00:04:04,801
What's that, a joke...
seeing someone?
71
00:04:06,367 --> 00:04:08,667
It's just one date.
Come on.
72
00:04:08,701 --> 00:04:10,868
Okay, okay, I'll do it.
73
00:04:10,901 --> 00:04:14,434
Great! And, really,
how often do you get to go out
74
00:04:14,467 --> 00:04:16,100
with a 6'4" blind guy?
75
00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:18,701
Hey, Nancy boy,
take me to the snack room.
76
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,400
Today we have a special treat.
77
00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:30,501
The mayor and the deputy mayor
are joining our class.
78
00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:37,367
We're going to learn the story
of Jonah and the whale.
79
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,501
Mrs. lassiter,
how do whales breathe?
80
00:04:39,534 --> 00:04:41,300
That's a very good question.
81
00:04:41,334 --> 00:04:42,901
Through their blowholes.
82
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,667
Mr. mayor...
83
00:04:47,701 --> 00:04:50,567
Is there something you'd like
to share with the class?
84
00:04:50,601 --> 00:04:52,868
No.
85
00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:54,167
What's a blowhole?
86
00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:59,801
Charlie, shut your blowhole.
87
00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:01,434
Children, please.
88
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:04,200
We are already behind
the other classes.
89
00:05:04,234 --> 00:05:06,000
What kind of a whale was it?
90
00:05:06,033 --> 00:05:07,000
Humpback.
91
00:05:09,534 --> 00:05:12,234
Please stop it.
"Humpback" is not funny!
92
00:05:16,701 --> 00:05:19,267
Ooh, you're in trouble.
93
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:21,801
Am not.
94
00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:25,901
So...
95
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:27,934
How was your blind date?
96
00:05:27,968 --> 00:05:29,367
Ha!
97
00:05:32,067 --> 00:05:34,801
He's had to go to the bathroom
for an hour,
98
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:38,133
but he didn't want to miss out
on saying that to you.
99
00:05:38,167 --> 00:05:39,534
So, how was it?
100
00:05:39,567 --> 00:05:42,167
He forgot about some meeting
and he left early.
101
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,667
So you're off the hook.
102
00:05:43,701 --> 00:05:45,968
Come on, how often
do you get to go out
103
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,467
with a 6'4" blind guy?
104
00:05:47,501 --> 00:05:48,667
Ned?
105
00:05:48,701 --> 00:05:52,000
Uh-oh, meet me
in the snack room.
106
00:05:52,033 --> 00:05:54,067
What's going on here?
107
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:56,334
You beg me
to go to lunch with you,
108
00:05:56,367 --> 00:05:58,567
and then you lied
and blew me off?
109
00:05:58,601 --> 00:06:00,267
It's nothing personal.
110
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,868
It's just, you know, you, uh...
111
00:06:02,901 --> 00:06:04,734
You weren't fun.
112
00:06:04,767 --> 00:06:06,400
Sorry, toots.
113
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:09,834
Oh, yeah?
114
00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:11,834
Well, you're only 5'6"!
115
00:06:11,868 --> 00:06:13,834
Caitlin, he's blind!
116
00:06:13,868 --> 00:06:15,234
Oh, yeah.
117
00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:18,300
And you're blind!
118
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:21,501
Thanks, Carter.
119
00:06:24,534 --> 00:06:27,367
Could I talk to you
for a minute?
120
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,100
Sure.
Pull up any tiny chair.
121
00:06:30,133 --> 00:06:33,267
The mayor and I are really sorry
about what happened today.
122
00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,601
I guess religion makes us
a little nervous.
123
00:06:35,634 --> 00:06:37,067
I hope you're not too upset.
124
00:06:45,367 --> 00:06:48,467
So we're cool?
125
00:06:49,734 --> 00:06:52,033
Don't cry.
126
00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:54,434
Help!
127
00:06:54,467 --> 00:06:56,968
I'm a terrible teacher.
I should quit.
128
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,634
With kids like me and the mayor
in your class,
129
00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:01,300
you don't stand a chance.
130
00:07:01,334 --> 00:07:03,033
We're bad apples.
131
00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:06,234
How about a drink?
132
00:07:06,267 --> 00:07:08,100
Wa-wa watermelon?
133
00:07:10,267 --> 00:07:12,701
Cr-r-r-r-azy kiwi?
134
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,267
It's just, you know,
135
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:18,400
all my life I wanted
to serve the church
136
00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:20,234
and help people,
137
00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:24,234
and even if I could reach
one person, I'd feel fulfilled,
138
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:27,067
but I can't even do that!
139
00:07:28,534 --> 00:07:30,300
What are you talking about?
140
00:07:30,334 --> 00:07:32,200
You've helped me.
141
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,067
How?
142
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:38,767
Before today,
it's like religion is here
143
00:07:38,801 --> 00:07:40,934
and I'm here.
144
00:07:40,968 --> 00:07:43,033
And after your class,
145
00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:45,667
religion's still here,
but now...
146
00:07:45,701 --> 00:07:48,434
I'm here.
147
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:52,033
And that's all you.
148
00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:54,701
You're just saying that.
149
00:07:54,734 --> 00:07:58,200
Claudia, seeing how dedicated
you are is inspiring.
150
00:07:58,234 --> 00:07:59,868
You obviously have a calling.
151
00:07:59,901 --> 00:08:02,067
If teaching isn't right
for you in the church,
152
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,534
try something else.
153
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,067
Maybe altar lady.
154
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:06,801
Thank you, Charlie.
155
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,534
That's really sweet.
156
00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:10,734
The mayor
wanted me to assure you
157
00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:12,534
that he's learned his lesson.
158
00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:15,801
Hello, Charlie, this is God.
159
00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:18,901
The mayor wants to go home now.
160
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,200
Stewart,
my trip to church yesterday
161
00:08:26,234 --> 00:08:29,000
got me thinking
about spirituality,
162
00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:32,801
and I realize that, well...
163
00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:37,067
I don't have any.
164
00:08:39,634 --> 00:08:43,334
And at this point in my life,
I need to believe in something.
165
00:08:43,367 --> 00:08:45,667
Golf isn't enough?
166
00:08:45,701 --> 00:08:49,801
And I need someone
to help me on that journey.
167
00:08:49,834 --> 00:08:51,701
So let me ask you,
168
00:08:51,734 --> 00:08:55,667
do you ever wonder
what it's all about?
169
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,133
No.
170
00:08:57,167 --> 00:08:59,934
Do you ever wonder
if we were put here
171
00:08:59,968 --> 00:09:01,667
for some divine purpose?
172
00:09:01,701 --> 00:09:04,033
No.
173
00:09:04,067 --> 00:09:07,367
Do you ever wonder what
lies in store for our spirit,
174
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,367
our eternal soul,
on the other side?
175
00:09:11,934 --> 00:09:13,767
No.
176
00:09:13,801 --> 00:09:15,367
Then you're my man.
177
00:09:16,868 --> 00:09:20,434
I need someone totally unbiased
to help me select a religion.
178
00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:22,934
Now, I've set up interviews
with representatives
179
00:09:22,968 --> 00:09:25,434
from the big 10 faiths
180
00:09:25,467 --> 00:09:27,567
to see if I can connect
with any of them.
181
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,868
Ah, I think our 2:00 is here.
182
00:09:32,901 --> 00:09:34,601
I can't believe I got dumped!
183
00:09:34,634 --> 00:09:37,167
Caitlin, why are you
obsessing over this?
184
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,400
If he could see
what you look like,
185
00:09:39,434 --> 00:09:40,734
he wouldn't have dumped you.
186
00:09:40,767 --> 00:09:43,400
That's the whole point.
For the first time in my life,
187
00:09:43,434 --> 00:09:45,767
a man is judging me
solely on my personality,
188
00:09:45,801 --> 00:09:48,067
and the verdict is in...
I'm not fun!
189
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,901
You're overreacting.
190
00:09:49,934 --> 00:09:51,267
Don't you see?
191
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,367
I've always gotten by
on my looks.
192
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,400
Take them away,
I'm one big dud.
193
00:09:55,434 --> 00:09:57,701
Well,
I can certainly empathize.
194
00:09:57,734 --> 00:09:59,934
Often I found my own good looks
195
00:09:59,968 --> 00:10:02,434
act more like an anchor
than a sail.
196
00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:05,400
What?
197
00:10:05,434 --> 00:10:07,000
Hey...
198
00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:09,167
Would you date me
if I weren't attractive?
199
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:13,067
Is this like, "do these jeans
make my ass look fat?"
200
00:10:16,601 --> 00:10:20,067
Because I always
get that one wrong.
201
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,701
Hey, Paul, what's happening?
202
00:10:26,734 --> 00:10:29,601
I just had a long conversation
with Claudia.
203
00:10:29,634 --> 00:10:32,601
Apparently, Charlie gave her
quite a pep talk.
204
00:10:32,634 --> 00:10:35,100
I just helped her realize
what's important.
205
00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:37,701
I think I'm pretty good
at motivating people.
206
00:10:37,734 --> 00:10:40,467
She's leaving me.
207
00:10:40,501 --> 00:10:44,100
She wants to become a nun.
208
00:10:47,667 --> 00:10:50,367
I overshot that one.
209
00:10:53,868 --> 00:10:55,968
Stuart, what the hell
is going on?
210
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,834
I heard you're leaving at 4:30
this morning.
211
00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:01,767
Caitlin got dumped
by a blind guy,
212
00:11:01,801 --> 00:11:05,434
and Paul's wife
is becoming a nun.
213
00:11:05,467 --> 00:11:07,701
This is a big day for me.
214
00:11:09,767 --> 00:11:12,400
Guess where I've been?
215
00:11:12,434 --> 00:11:15,634
I don't know, but I hope it
involves drinking and a dare.
216
00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:18,234
Come on, suspenders are fun.
217
00:11:18,267 --> 00:11:20,601
All fun people wear 'em.
218
00:11:20,634 --> 00:11:23,100
From now on, when people hear
"Caitlin Moore,"
219
00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:26,300
I want them to think,
"Caitlin Moore fun."
220
00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:29,267
Hey, Paul, check 'em out.
221
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,367
Hey!
222
00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:36,467
What do you think
of these babies?
223
00:11:36,501 --> 00:11:39,067
Sorry, Caitlin, I'm a leg man.
224
00:11:43,334 --> 00:11:45,701
So, how are things
with Claudia?
225
00:11:45,734 --> 00:11:47,767
She slept at her mother's
last night
226
00:11:47,801 --> 00:11:50,968
because she didn't want to be
tempted by the marital bed.
227
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,033
Why, who was in it?
228
00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:56,467
Hey, Paul.
229
00:11:56,501 --> 00:11:58,200
Don't you "hey, Paul" me.
230
00:11:58,234 --> 00:12:00,934
I'm sorry, Claudia was crying
and I had to say something.
231
00:12:00,968 --> 00:12:02,868
I never meant for her
to become a nun.
232
00:12:02,901 --> 00:12:05,968
Don't you "look, I'm sorry,
but Claudia was crying
233
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,667
"and I had to say something,
234
00:12:07,701 --> 00:12:10,300
I never meant for her
to become a nun" me.
235
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:12,100
You think it's possible
that Claudia
236
00:12:12,133 --> 00:12:13,868
could have been thinking
about this?
237
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:17,601
But if he hadn't talked to her,
she would've repressed it,
238
00:12:17,634 --> 00:12:20,701
led a life of quiet desperation
like we all do.
239
00:12:20,734 --> 00:12:23,601
You think I don't have
fantasies, huh?
240
00:12:23,634 --> 00:12:25,234
I'd like to fly to London,
241
00:12:25,267 --> 00:12:27,901
take Elizabeth Hurley
up to my hotel room,
242
00:12:27,934 --> 00:12:30,100
get her autograph...
but I don't.
243
00:12:30,133 --> 00:12:34,767
You do realize in a fantasy
you can do whatever you want?
244
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:39,467
So, rabbi elder, tell me...
245
00:12:39,501 --> 00:12:41,100
In the Jewish religion,
246
00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:44,100
what would a person have to do
to warrant going to hell?
247
00:12:44,133 --> 00:12:47,267
The torah contains a set
of moral codes for this life.
248
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,801
We don't believe in hell.
249
00:12:50,467 --> 00:12:51,734
Nice.
250
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:56,100
Paul, eventually,
251
00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:58,067
you're gonna
have to talk to me.
252
00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:01,267
I'm afraid to. I might get
the urge to become a priest.
253
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:03,100
Oh, I should've expected this.
254
00:13:03,133 --> 00:13:06,033
I've always had bad luck
with women.
255
00:13:06,067 --> 00:13:09,067
It's like the girl
I took to the prom.
256
00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:10,734
She became a lesbian.
257
00:13:10,767 --> 00:13:13,834
Sometimes later on life,
people change.
258
00:13:13,868 --> 00:13:16,367
It happened
during a slow dance.
259
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,334
Don't get down on yourself.
260
00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:20,000
When I was in college,
261
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:23,000
my girlfriend was attracted
to another woman, and...
262
00:13:23,033 --> 00:13:26,434
oh, wait,
that was for my birthday.
263
00:13:26,467 --> 00:13:29,100
Look, Paul,
you've got to talk to Claudia.
264
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:31,567
You gotta fight
to save your marriage.
265
00:13:31,601 --> 00:13:33,534
There's nothing I can do.
266
00:13:33,567 --> 00:13:36,667
There are so many great things
about being married.
267
00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:40,767
I have no idea what they are.
268
00:13:40,801 --> 00:13:44,300
I'm not gonna wait around
for Claudia to make a decision.
269
00:13:44,334 --> 00:13:47,968
I'm gonna hit the town tonight
with the wildest guy I know.
270
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,801
I have this sick feeling
in my stomach
271
00:13:50,834 --> 00:13:52,834
that you're talking about me.
272
00:13:52,868 --> 00:13:54,334
You and me.
273
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:57,334
We're gonna put on our best
members only jackets,
274
00:13:57,367 --> 00:14:00,067
practice our moonwalks,
275
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:03,434
and ride the mechanical bull.
276
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,834
Okay.
277
00:14:04,868 --> 00:14:09,000
I'll pick you up in 1982.
278
00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:11,868
Charlie, why did Paul
just ask me
279
00:14:11,901 --> 00:14:14,033
if he could "bum a condom"?
280
00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:17,200
I thought you were gonna tell
him to go back to Claudia.
281
00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:19,167
I tried, but now, apparently,
282
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,834
I'm the charter member
of his posse.
283
00:14:21,868 --> 00:14:23,400
What are you gonna do?
284
00:14:23,434 --> 00:14:26,167
I'm gonna show him
the worst time of his life.
285
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,868
By 10:00, he'll be banging
on Claudia's door.
286
00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:31,367
Charlie, you can't help
having a good time.
287
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:32,834
Good times just find you.
288
00:14:32,868 --> 00:14:35,334
If you're talking about
the wet t-shirt contest,
289
00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:37,200
those things happen
all the time.
290
00:14:37,234 --> 00:14:40,934
Not at the dmv.
291
00:14:40,968 --> 00:14:43,901
Oh, I'm glad
you took those things off.
292
00:14:43,934 --> 00:14:46,901
I found something
that's even more fun.
293
00:14:46,934 --> 00:14:48,434
Bring her in, boys!
294
00:14:48,467 --> 00:14:50,601
Everybody, gather 'round!
295
00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:52,667
I have got fun on a bun!
296
00:14:52,701 --> 00:14:54,868
Isn't it a kick?
297
00:14:54,901 --> 00:14:57,334
10 pounds of ham
is not a good time.
298
00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:59,200
It's prosciutto.
299
00:14:59,234 --> 00:15:02,701
Ah, prosciutto...
the fun meat.
300
00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:05,567
Mr. mayor,
have some hoagie!
301
00:15:05,601 --> 00:15:07,801
No can-do on the ham.
302
00:15:07,834 --> 00:15:12,701
I may be Jewish and/or Muslim
by the end of the day.
303
00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:20,334
Whoa. This stuff goes
right to your head.
304
00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:21,767
What is it?
305
00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:23,968
Light beer.
306
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,234
So, Paul, you see
what I'm talking about?
307
00:15:27,267 --> 00:15:31,133
This is what single life
is like every night.
308
00:15:31,167 --> 00:15:33,501
It's not like in the movies.
309
00:15:33,534 --> 00:15:35,968
It's a sad, lonely existence.
310
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,734
Sure, occasionally, a dozen
or so attractive women
311
00:15:43,767 --> 00:15:46,200
will cross your path,
but it's just a tease,
312
00:15:46,234 --> 00:15:48,567
a painful reminder
of what you can't have.
313
00:15:48,601 --> 00:15:51,234
Charlie Crawford.
314
00:15:53,901 --> 00:15:57,334
I'm with the bachelorette party
and I'm a little tipsy.
315
00:15:57,367 --> 00:15:59,033
This is my friend Paul.
316
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,100
After this party wraps up,
317
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:12,133
I'm having a small party
back at my place... very small.
318
00:16:12,167 --> 00:16:14,467
Can you come by?
319
00:16:14,501 --> 00:16:17,567
I can't talk right now.
320
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:20,000
And yes.
321
00:16:20,033 --> 00:16:21,767
See you later, Charlie.
322
00:16:21,801 --> 00:16:23,234
Bye, Paul.
323
00:16:23,267 --> 00:16:26,567
Bye, Paul.
324
00:16:26,601 --> 00:16:28,234
Okay, sure, it seems fun,
325
00:16:28,267 --> 00:16:31,567
but you go broke hanging out
with these women for one night.
326
00:16:31,601 --> 00:16:33,234
The bar tab alone...
327
00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:34,767
my daughter just had a baby!
328
00:16:34,801 --> 00:16:37,334
Drinks are on the house!
329
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:38,968
All right! Yeah!
330
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,334
Paul, Paul, stay with me.
331
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:44,400
Sometimes there are hot babes
and the drinks are free,
332
00:16:44,434 --> 00:16:47,300
but trust me, this is as good
as it will ever get.
333
00:16:47,334 --> 00:16:50,434
Do you and your friend want
to judge a wet t-shirt contest?
334
00:16:52,434 --> 00:16:56,801
It's the dmv all over again.
335
00:17:00,267 --> 00:17:04,834
Caitlin, did you
silly-string my office?
336
00:17:04,868 --> 00:17:07,400
Let me guess...
it wasn't silly?
337
00:17:07,434 --> 00:17:10,367
This is insane. Who cares
about that idiot's opinion?
338
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:11,767
I think you're great.
339
00:17:11,801 --> 00:17:14,300
It doesn't make any difference
what you look like,
340
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:16,234
except for those earrings
yesterday.
341
00:17:16,267 --> 00:17:18,367
They made you
look like a hooker.
342
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,934
My point is, you don't need
to change a thing.
343
00:17:20,968 --> 00:17:22,434
Thanks, Carter.
344
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:24,534
You're right.
What was I thinking?
345
00:17:24,567 --> 00:17:27,267
Your opinion matters more
than some stranger's.
346
00:17:28,634 --> 00:17:29,868
Hey, ned!
347
00:17:29,901 --> 00:17:31,400
What?
348
00:17:31,434 --> 00:17:33,000
You know what?
349
00:17:33,033 --> 00:17:36,367
I am sick of worrying about you
and your stupid opinions.
350
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,000
You're wrong because I am fun.
351
00:17:39,033 --> 00:17:41,567
I didn't mean you weren't fun.
352
00:17:41,601 --> 00:17:43,667
I meant you weren't fun.
353
00:17:43,701 --> 00:17:45,434
You didn't put out.
354
00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:49,467
You expected me to put out
at lunch?
355
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:52,300
I'm blind,
I don't have a lot of time.
356
00:17:52,334 --> 00:17:54,334
You can't see.
You're not dying.
357
00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:58,200
When you lose your sight,
other senses are heightened.
358
00:18:00,534 --> 00:18:02,400
Horny is not a sense!
359
00:18:02,434 --> 00:18:03,801
Caitlin...
360
00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:05,501
I'm way ahead of you, Carter.
361
00:18:05,534 --> 00:18:08,501
And you're bald!
362
00:18:11,501 --> 00:18:13,534
How did it go with Paul
last night?
363
00:18:13,567 --> 00:18:16,100
Did you manage to sour him
on the single life?
364
00:18:16,133 --> 00:18:19,467
A bachelorette party showed up,
it reminded him of his wedding.
365
00:18:19,501 --> 00:18:22,234
He freaked out and left by 9:00.
366
00:18:23,934 --> 00:18:26,234
Whoa, Chuck wagon!
367
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:31,534
Did you get the license plate
of the truck
368
00:18:31,567 --> 00:18:33,534
that hit us last night?
369
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:36,100
Paul, are those the same
clothes you wore yesterday?
370
00:18:36,133 --> 00:18:38,334
That is correct.
371
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,567
Pauly played an away game.
372
00:18:41,601 --> 00:18:43,334
Hey, Chuck roast,
373
00:18:43,367 --> 00:18:49,000
please tell me I did not go home
with that double bagger, huh?
374
00:18:49,033 --> 00:18:51,000
I love being single.
375
00:18:51,033 --> 00:18:53,868
I'm having the time of my life!
376
00:18:53,901 --> 00:18:54,934
What about Claudia?
377
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,934
Oh, God, I miss her so much.
378
00:18:56,968 --> 00:18:58,901
Oh, God, I'm not having fun.
379
00:18:58,934 --> 00:19:01,701
I slept on her mother's lawn
last night,
380
00:19:01,734 --> 00:19:03,667
and I got bit by a mole.
381
00:19:05,334 --> 00:19:08,534
Let's go in my office
and disinfect that mole bite.
382
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,133
Hello, Paul.
383
00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:14,000
Claudia.
384
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:16,968
Good luck, buddy.
385
00:19:19,434 --> 00:19:20,968
Don't give up on us.
386
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,534
If I'm not doing something
right, I can change.
387
00:19:23,567 --> 00:19:25,634
I'm not asking you to change.
388
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:28,567
You want me to dress up
like God? I can do that.
389
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:31,100
Paul, this isn't your fault.
390
00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:35,334
I just realized this is
something I have to do.
391
00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:39,033
But if you go, who am I
gonna tell about my day to, huh?
392
00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:41,067
Who am I gonna buy flowers for?
393
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:44,267
Who's gonna put little
love notes in my jacket?
394
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:47,934
I never put love notes
in your jacket, Paul.
395
00:19:47,968 --> 00:19:52,801
Oh, my God,
our dry cleaner wants me.
396
00:19:52,834 --> 00:19:55,067
For the first time in my life,
397
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:59,200
I feel that I have a purpose
that's bigger than myself.
398
00:19:59,234 --> 00:20:03,234
This is truly an amazing thing
that's happened to me.
399
00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:06,367
And deep in your heart,
I think you know that.
400
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:10,200
Now, having said that, I mean,
401
00:20:10,234 --> 00:20:13,267
if you want me to stay,
I'll stay.
402
00:20:14,334 --> 00:20:16,033
Stay.
403
00:20:17,267 --> 00:20:20,100
I don't want to stand in the way
of your happiness.
404
00:20:20,133 --> 00:20:21,400
You go.
405
00:20:21,434 --> 00:20:24,901
Thank you, pauly.
406
00:20:24,934 --> 00:20:27,434
I love you.
407
00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:30,167
I love you, too.
408
00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:12,033
So, did the mayor
pick a religion yet?
409
00:21:12,067 --> 00:21:14,200
No, he decided
he doesn't need one.
410
00:21:14,234 --> 00:21:16,300
He's gonna stick with
being a wasp.
411
00:21:16,334 --> 00:21:18,767
Well, he's doing
pretty good today.
412
00:21:18,801 --> 00:21:22,534
So is it true that you
can only move diagonally?
413
00:21:24,467 --> 00:21:26,501
I'm kidding.
414
00:21:29,634 --> 00:21:32,100
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.29291
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