Original subtitles

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[ Metal rattling ]

Here's the plan, Alan Dracula.

We're gonna sit here for however long it takes,

wait for one of those weird pod things to fly by,

and as soon as it does, we hijack it for ourselves,

ride it back to wherever it came from.

Passengers get a number somewhere

before waking up on the train,

and I'm guessing the pods will lead us there.

And then [sighs] I'll find a way to get a number.

[ Zapping ]

I'm serious.

Now that Jesse is gone...

Look. [Sighs] You're all I've got.

I need you to be ready.

No turning into stuff that'll slow us down,

like a snail or a broken car or...

You know, once I get my number,

it -- it means I'm eventually gonna leave the train,

and I don't think I can take you with me.

[ Snorts ]

Even if I could, you wouldn't be happy out there.

Getting off the train is my journey.

It wouldn't be fair to force you to leave.

This is your home.

♪♪

You're not my pet.

You're my friend.

You know that, right?

Aw.

[ Whirring ]

Huh?

Uh! Ugh![ Metal screeching ]

Aah! Ah!

Glad-One: Which is my 16th favorite kind of giraffe

you'll see on the train.

Sad-One: Necks are kind of weird, right?

Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

Ugh! Huh?

What's going on?

-Ugh. -Aaaaaaaah!

Glad-One: Please remain in your pod.

Uh! Aaah!

[ Roars ]

Aaaaah! Aah!

-Wait! -Aaah!

Glad-One: Please return to your pod.

Come on, Alan Dracula. Get comfortable.

Thank you for returning to your pod.

Ugh. Ugggggh!

Greetings, passenger.

If you're watching this, it means we've run into

an unforeseen problem, but not to worry!

For every problem, there is a documentary!

Ugh! Give me a break.

We're now on route to the Tape Car.

Off, please.

This is where all the magic happens.

And by magic, I mean numerical algorithmic judgment.

Ugh! Just saying it makes me warm and fuzzy inside

because very soon, your pod's gonna get fixed,

and you'll be sent back on your way.

Too bad you're asleep, and you'll never hear this.

Hmm, I suppose this documentary is more for me

than anyone else.

Maybe it's time I stopped.

Yes, do that!

Instead, I'm gonna guess what Atticus is doing right now.

Ugh! One -- barking.

Two -- rolling over.

Three -- he's dead, a pile of dog bones

on the side of a long-forgotten road.

Four -- he's only playing dead,

a pile of not bones on a not-forgotten road.La, la, la, la, la, la,

la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!

♪♪

[ Snoring ]

[ Trumpeting ] We're here!

What?Don't get excited.

It doesn't look very special.

Ugh!

♪♪

Fun fact -- the Tape Car is the only car

where the universe is projected on the outside.

It's what's outside that counts.

Ah, the robot's out of his mind.

♪♪

What? Uh...

Um...

♪♪

Ah! Aaaah!

Ooh! Ugh.

[ Gasps ] Ah!

Alan Dracula!

♪♪

[ Chuckles ]

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♪♪

♪♪

Ah!

[ Bang! Clang! ]

[ Snorts ] Ugh.

You okay, Alan Dracula?

Ugh.

Ugh.

What is this place?

♪♪

♪♪

Uh!

Ah! Ah!

[ Bleats ] Shh!

Hey, don't eat that.

Hmm?

[ Indistinct voices ]

Mom, this one!

That's a bearded dragon.

Mom, this one!

That's a bearded dragon.

Do you need some help?

No, I can do it.

Do you need some help?

No, I can do it.

It was an accident!

Honey, I told you not to...

It was an accident.

Honey, I told you not to...

What is this?

Ah!

[ Beeping ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Beep ]Uh?

[ Beep ]

♪♪

They... don't care about me.

Hey, weirdo!

Come on, Alan. Let's keep moving.

Aah! [ Gasping ]

Alan, stay back! [ Gasping ]

Alan? [ Gasping ]

[ Moans ]

No! Aah! Aah!

Ah, ah, ah, aah!

Whoa! Oh! Sorry!

Aaaaah!

[ Clang! ]

Ugh.

[ Gasps ]

♪♪

♪♪

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[ Exhales ] When all this is over,

you and Jesse are gonna laugh about this.

This will be funny.

[ Whirring ]

♪♪

Whoa.

♪♪

Ah, thanks! I can do 8:30.

This proposal is ridiculous.

♪♪

[ Whirring ]

♪♪

Yes! Uff da!

I better get a smaller number than that.

♪♪

♪♪

Ugh. Sorry. I need this more than you.

♪♪

♪♪

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[ Indistinct, fast talking ]

Come on! Hurry it up!

♪♪

♪♪

Huh?

[ Gasping ] Ah!

♪♪

♪♪

No! I'm here!

Give me a number!

Ugh!

Listen to me!

You don't think I deserve a number, do you?

Well, you gave a number to some lady

who was sad about her dead lizard!

How is that fair?! What?

Do I need a sad-lizard story?

Is that it?

Ughhhh! Look at me!

I am a person!

I deserve a number!

Aaaaah!

[ Banging ]

Ugh!

Aaaah!

Aaaaaah!

[ Panting ]

Aaaaah! Ugh! Agh!

[ Panting ]

♪♪

Aaaaah!

Huh?

[ Gasping ] Aaaah!

Oof.

Ah, ah!

Aaaaah!

Glad-One: Hello!

I'd appreciate it if you'd stop breaking everything.

Sad-One: Unless you want me to start writing your obituary.

♪♪

[ Clanging ]