Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

No, no, no! Don't touch that dial.

Here's what's on my mind tonight.

[laughs]

(male narrator) Rick's a DJ with a mean streak.

Ow! That's gotta hurt.

But his cutting remarks could cost him his life.

If I keep insulting people all the time

I'm gonna alienate every listener we've got.

That's ridiculous!

'You're the man everyone loves to hate.'

Now, is this mime a murderous listener?

Or is Rick really just fighting with himself?

A mime is a terrible thing to waste!

Find out on "Freddy's Nightmares."

[theme music]

You're in Springwood now.

And you're all mine.

[screaming]

[laughing]

[screaming]

[laughing]

[music continues]

[music on radio]

(male #1 on radio) ..the Q.

(male #2 on radio) 'Listening to WOQ.'

'The Big Q, Springwood's big hits'

'all the time station.'

Rick Rake talkin' at you.

I say what I think.

And I think what I say.

And right about now I think it's time

for another Rick's raking!

Ow, that's gotta hurt!

'And the victim for today is once again'

Mojo Mama, the mother of rap.

Now, yesterday I called Mojo

the queen of fat.

I said, it took me three times to just give her the once-over.

Well, don't get me wrong, folks

I haven't got anything against fat people.

It's just fat, ugly people that I really hate.

And Mojo Mama is U-G-L-Y.

She ain't got no alibi. She's ugly.

And talent..

Well, Mojo Mama has no talent.

My mama is a better rapper than Mojo Mama.

I'm sorry, this is Rick Rake.

And I say what I think

and I think what I say.

Right now here's Daddy's Little Girl

with "Stick Shift Of My Heart."

Hey, boss, what's up?

Uh, what was that?

What, the raking?

Yes, that raking.

Is there a problem?

You called the woman, uh-uh, fat and ugly.

[chuckles] Yeah. So?

So I could do that myself.

Now, I pay you to be creative in your brutality.

Where's that cold-blooded cruelty

that brings in those great ratings?

Yeah, well, I think I better talk to you

about that, Mr. Sexton. You know..

[chuckles] I really think I oughta tone it down just a bit.

- You're pulling my leg, right? - No, I'm not.

You know, I figure, with the way I'm going

if I keep insulting people all the time, I'm gonna alienate

every listener we've got by next summer.

That's ridiculous!

Well, look at this.

Look at this fan mail!

I got news for you, boss. That's not fan mail.

- That's hate mail. - Fan mail, hate mail.

What's the difference?

The point is, people are taking the time

to write these letters.

That means they're listening!

And that's what the advertisers care about!

'You're the man everyone loves to hate!'

Super.

'Look, Rick.'

'You've been a failure on every station you've been on.'

[chuckles]

And now you're on top.

It won't last long

and it won't happen again.

'So if I were you..'

I'd keep it going as long as I can

and enjoy it as long as it lasts..

which may not be very long

'since your contract is up in a month.'

Yeah? Can I help you?

Delivery for Mr. Rick Rake.

I was told I could find him in here.

He's busy, but I'll take 'em.

No, can't do, I've got orders

to deliver them directly to the man.

Hm, well, okay. Hold on one second.

Yo, Rick, there's a delivery dude out here

with some flowers.

You see that? They love you.

Send him in, young lady.

Which one?

[Rick groaning]

(male #3) 'From Mojo Mama!'

She says she loves your show!

Wow! I didn't even recognize him!

But that was Matt, the Rat, Mojo's drummer!

'Oh, wow!'

Oh, no, don't-don't move, Rick!

- This is great! - What?

We'll get photos, put it out on the wire.

It'll make great press.

Oh, God!

Hey, kids

you're listening to the hot sounds

of Freddy, the king

on WDED radio

the station people are just dying to hear.

Yeah, we got your Hendrix.

We got your Lennon.

We got your Joplin.

We got your Elvis.

We got your Donny Osmond.

When did he die? Ha!

And I'm taking the fourth caller

to win a free crypt for two

at a graveyard near you.

Today it was just a fist. What if tomorrow it's a gun?

[indistinct chattering]

You used to be so sweet!

Now you just insult people all day.

[laughs]

- What happened to you? - Nothing happened.

Look, being rude is just part of the radio personality.

Oh, come on. You know it's not the real me.

It just started as a lark and..

now I'm stuck with it.

Okay, then unlark.

Why don't you start being the sweet, polite Rick

that you used to be on the air?

Because the new Rick gets better ratings.

And better ratings mean a better life

for a et moi.

You like that brand new car.

I don't hear you complaining about that

or this new $500 bracelet

that looks great on you.

[sighs]

What if one of your targets gets mad

and does something... crazy

Sheila, don't worry about it, okay?

Old man Sexton's gonna beef up the security at the station.

It, uh, it just can't happen again.

That's great. You'll be protected at the station.

What about home? Or right here in the street?

Sheila..

Nothing is going to happen to me.

I'm not on TV, I'm on the radio.

Nobody knows what I look like.

And away from the station..

I blend in to the crowd.

I hope so.

Ooh, give me some more of that.

[indistinct chattering]

[crowd applauding]

What's everybody lookin' at?

Ah, who cares?

Come on, let's go home. I'm tired.

- No, come on. - Oh..

[chuckles]

[instrumental music]

[crowd laughing]

Look.

Hey, buddy, I know you from somewhere.

I doubt it.

[music continues]

[crowd laughing]

Hey, I know I know you. Why do I know you?

- You're on TV or something? - No, I'm not on TV!

Okay, we've never met. I think I'd remember you.

[laughing]

[music continues]

(all) 'Ow!'

Awesome!

The guy is pretty damn funny.

Is that supposed to be funny?

That's not funny.

- Will you be quiet? - Hey, I say what I think.

"I think what I say." I know, I know.

Will you shut up for once?

Hey, I heard that before.

"I say what I think, I think what I say."

I heard that.

Hey... you're somebody.

No. I'm nobody, okay? You're wrong.

Now buzz off.

[crowd cheering]

[crowd laughing]

Let's get out of here.

I said, buzz off!

[indistinct chattering]

(male #4) 'Are you okay, buddy?'

I know who you are.

'You're Rick Rake, right?'

'Yeah, you're that SOB on the radio'

'who insults everybody and their mother.'

[dramatic music]

Aw.

I can't believe you hit him!

Oh, come on, he deserved it.

He was making fun of us in front of all those people.

So? That's what you do to people on the radio.

Well, I didn't even mean to hit the mime, okay?

I meant to hit that other guy!

Since when were you the kind of person

who punches someone in the middle of the street?

I do what I have to do, okay?

Well, so do I.

Hey! What, what is this?

The guy I married was a sweet and gentleman

who would walk away from a fight.

Oh!

All this because I punched a mime?

It's been one thing after another.

That was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

[sighs]

'I feel like I don't know you anymore, Rick.'

And I don't sleep with strangers.

Oh, Sheila, wait..

Would you just, uh..

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

(Rick) You again?

What do you want?

'I'm sorry... that I hit you.'

It was an accident, okay?

[sighs]

Well, alright, you've had your apology.

So why don't you get out?

Move it!

Look, I don't know what your problem is, pal.

But I think you just better buzz off.

Unless you wanna get another fist in your face.

[clicking]

I warned ya.

[groans] Ow! God!

[gasps]

Ow!

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

(Sheila) Rick?

I just found this on the stoup.

'Well, what do you mean? You just found it?'

Umm-hmm.

Is the delivery guy still here?

No, I-I just found it. You want me to open it?

No!

[rattling]

[sighs]

[chuckles]

Smart-ass.

- What is it? - It's a doctor's bill.

A 150 bucks for a jaw X-ray?

How could he find out where we live?

Are you gonna pay the bill?

Oh, come on, Sheila, you don't think I hit

that guy on purpose, do ya

It was an accident, okay?

I did not mean to hit the mime.

I did mean to hit that other guy.

You shouldn't have hit anyone.

I know, you're right. Okay.

From now on you're gonna see a brand new Rick

Not only am I gonna pay this bill

but I'm gonna find that mime tonight

and I will apologize to him in person.

Okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

Come here.

Have a good day.

This is Rick Rake.

There's something important I'd like to talk

to you about today, folks.

You know, we live in a fast-paced..

hectic world, you and me.

And sometimes we let the pressures of life

you know..

the little problems that we face we face every day..

We let 'em get to us.

And it makes us say and do things that, uh..

well, we, we shouldn't say and do.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I..

[sighs]

'Um..'

[sighs]

[clears throat] I-I guess what I mean to say is that, um..

we've got an even worse problem on our streets

ladies and gentlemen.

I'm talking about those..

little twits in black leotards

who stand onourstree

yours and mine..

hiding behind their white make up

and insulting upstanding citizens like you and me!

'I'm talking about those little, silent slime balls'

'who call themselves mimes.'

Do you know what I think?

I think there ought to be a city ordinance

prohibiting them from performing on our streets!

That's what I think, and I challenge any mime

who's out there today listening in the audience

to, uh, call in.

Come on, call the station, defend yourselves.

Oops, I'm sorry. You can't do that.

Mimes don't talk.

Well..

Next selection we have is for a certain mime.

You know who you are.

Here is Bells And Whistles

with "Talking Dirty."

[music on radio]

You got a caller on line 3.

[clears throat]

Hello.

- 'You rotten liar.' - Sheila?

I thought you were gonna apologize to that mime.

[chuckles] I am.

Well, then why are you insulting him now?

[music continues]

Are you listening to the show?

(Sheila on phone) 'You got it, buster.'

[sighs] I, um..

I thought you said you didn't listen to the show anymore.

Well, I just happened to turn it on this morning.

'Just in time to hear you being a real jerk.'

Oh, well, look. Just hold it a minute, okay?

No, you hold on, Rick.

Maybe you better take a giant step back

and look at yourself.

Because you've let your radio personality

invade your real personality.

And if you keep going this way..

you're gonna lose me.

'Well, think about that, okay?'

[music continues]

Hey, what's next, big guy?

[sighs]

Just, uh..

Just roll another one. You pick it.

[sighs]

[glass clinking]

[dramatic music]

[sighs]

[music continues]

[leaves rustling]

What on Earth?

[birds chirping]

Excuse me.

Can I help you?

Uh, my husband said he would pay for your doctor bill.

I-I hope you'll accept my apology for what he did.

This is crazy.

[music continues]

[screaming]

(Tracy) 'Earth to Rick.'

'You have about ten seconds before that song ends.'

Uh..

Uh, j-just play another one without an intro, okay?

What, are we a automated station all of a sudden?

Just do it!

[dial tone]

[telephone keys clacking]

[telephone ringing]

[sighs]

[telephone ringing]

I just called Sheila and she's not home.

So?

So I just talked to her five minutes ago!

Well, so? Maybe she just left or went shopping or something.

Uh, I-I, uh.. I got a bad feeling about this.

Listen, put it on autopilot for me, will ya?

Yeah. Sure, boss.

[engine revving]

Oh, my God!

[dramatic music]

'Sheila?'

No!

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

(male #5) Yes, siree, that was definitely a sinkhole.

You know, there's some kinda

geological formation in the Springwood.

I can't believe..

that no one told you about the sinkholes

before you bought the house!

You know, you probably can sue their butts off.

By the way, I got a brother-in-law

who is an attorney, you know?

I got his card around here somewhere

if you want to, uh...

No, I don't need to see a lawyer.

Say what?

I need to see a mime.

Are you done with me?

Y-yeah. Yeah, sure.

Rick, you really don't hav to finish out the day.

No, I want to finish!

I need to.

Tracy, what's the next setup?

Come on, come on, kid, let's go. What the next setup?

- Stone And The Stoners. - Thank you.

[music on radio]

Hey, kids, Rick's back!

I say what I think

'and I think what I say.'

And you know what I think today, kiddies?

I think I've just found a solution to two

of the world's biggest problems.

Number one..

all those swell guys up in Alaska who were

clubbing baby seals to death..

and number two..

those good-for-nothing mimes infesting our streets.

Do you know what I say?

I say, we fly all these seal-clubbing hunters

up into the cities of America

and let 'em have open season on those pesky mimes!

That's what<T

In fact, there's one mine in particular..

'...you know who you are..'

that I'd like to take care of myself.

So come on down to the station, pal..

show you face.

I dare you.

In the meantime, we have the latest

from Stone And The Stoners.

[dramatic music]

You son of a bitch! You killed my wife!

[music continues]

What the hell do you think you're doing?

[groaning]

You son of a bitch!

[Rick coughing]

I don't know how you did that.

But you're gonna let me outta here.

[groans]

[dramatic music]

[groaning]

[screaming]

[gasps] Oh!

What, what in the hell happened?

- 'Oh, my God!' - 'Call 9, call 911!'

Ow! You're listening to the Big Q.

This is TracyTrash talkin' at ya.

And guess what, it's almost time

for Tracy's trashin'!

But first let's have a little talk with old Rick Rake

and see how he's recovering.

Rick, how're ya doin', big guy?

[laughs] Well, what's the matter?

'Cat got your tongue?'

[laughing]

'Oh, oh, oh, I almost forgot.'

'You can't talk anymore after your accident!'

Ooh, you really know

how to cut your own throat, career wise

now, don't you, big guy?

'Take a big stab into the big time.'

Ooh! That's too mean.

Well, we will be right back after a word from our sponsor.

It's just part of the act, big guy.

She's even more cold-blooded than you were.

Oh, uh, this was left for you in the lobby.

It doesn't say where's it's from.

[dramatic music]

[instrumental music]

A mime is a terrible thing..

to waste!

Mwah!

[laughs]

[glass shattering]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[dramatic music]

[instrumental music]

Boy, am I hot!

I'll fix the air conditioning tomorrow.

'That's not why I'm hot.'

Oh, well, in that case

maybe we should see if we can..

burn off a little heat.

Oh, I love this birthmark.

Looks like a beautiful jewel.

Perhaps a diamond.

You like it as much as a real diamond?

Hm, more.

More than a three carat, E-graded emerald

mounted in a circle of diamonds?

[sighs] Is that what I'm after tonight?

Only if you get your little sexy butt moving.

Oh, my dear, you have a very unique way

of ruining the moment.

Don't worry, the moment will continue

when you get back.

You can cool me off with a bag of ice.

Hot ice.

[laughs] That's my boy!

Now, let's reveal.

Tell me about your target.

The names are Vivian and Charles Endicott.

They live at 2343, Cherry Tree Lane.

'Now, you're sure they keep the good stuff in the house?'

Have I been wrong yet?

Not yet.

Mother used to nag daddy about how she wanted

a wall safe just like the Endicotts.

So that's where the jewelry will probably be.

Unfortunately though, she never said where the damn thing is.

No problem, I'll find it.

Are you sure you can open it?

Have I ever failed?

Not yet.

Not ever.

[clicking]

[dramatic music]

[coughs]

Who says crime doesn't pay?

[laughing]

Look where it got me!

Wait till you see where it gets that guy.

[laughs]

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

[dramatic music]

[instrumental music]

(Kip) Candy for the lady?

[chuckles] For me?

If you like, or, uh..

you can choose another piece.

[chuckles]

Where's the pendant?

Oh, yes.

Thepiece de resistance.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[music on radio]

(Tracy on radio) 'This is Tracy Trash with the news of the a.m.'

'Ooh! Guess what?'

'The daisy burglar has struck again.'

'Only this time, with a new wrinkle.'

'Seems this time he's not only burglarized his victims'

'but he has murdered them.'

'Ooh, the daisy burglar's usual yellow daisy

'was found on the scene.'

'Police don't know yet who the daisy burglar is'

'but they say, now that murder is involved'

'they will double their task force.'

You don't think I killed those people?

They were my parents' friends.

Andi, you know I don't carry

a gun on the job.

And there's a very good reason for it.

The maximum sentence in this state

for burglary is five years.

Do you know what it is for murder?

- Death? - Exactly!

Andi, you've got to trust me on this.

We've been together a long time now.

You know I couldn't kill those people.

Oh, God! Kip.

They think you killed the Endicotts.

No, they think the daisy burglar killed them.

And the only thing is they don't know who the daisy burglar is.

Yes, but what if they figure it out?

I mean, what if you made a mistake

this time, left a clue or something?

Look, they won't! I didn't.

I was very careful.

What do we do now?

Well, we go on living our lives as we normally do.

We change nothing.

Do you understand that?

Nothing.

[dramatic music]

The stethoscope!

What?

What about the stethoscope?

I left it at the house! I have to go back.

[dramatic music]

Looking for this?

I guess it's true what they say.

A criminal always returns to the scene of his crime.

Surely you are aware that the penalty

for murder in this state is death.

But I-I, I didn't murder anyone.

That's what they all say.

What's your neck size?

Fifteen? Sixteen?

Look, you gotta believe me. I didn't kill anyone!

This way you can't get off on some technicality.

But I didn't kill anyone!

No!

No!

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

So where do you wanna go?

What do you mean?

Monte Carlo, Nice, Sydney?

I thought the plan was to live our lives as normal

and not do anything unusual.

Ah, yeah, well, I changed my mind.

I'm gonna unload the jewels, use the money to buy tickets

and then we're gonna get out of the country

as fast as we can.

So think about where you wanna go.

I'll be back before you know it.

[indistinct chattering on TV]

[door rattling]

[knocking on door]

[indistinct commentary on radio]

[turns off radio]

You did a very stupid thing.

You-you heard?

Heard?

The cops have been here twice already looking for the stuff.

You're hot on fire, kid.

Tom, I didn't kill those people.

I haven't even killed anyone in my life!

Hey, I didn't think you did.

Besides, there are a lot of people who'd like to see

Endicott dead, anyway.

Like who?

Well, let's just say he does business

with some very nasty people.

So, um, what can I do you for?

I thought you didn't do it.

I said I didn't kill them.

I didn't say I didn't burglarize 'em.

Well, so, uh... what do you want me to do?

Our normal deal.

[laughing] No, no, no, not this time.

This stuff's hotter than anything I ever handled.

Tom, everything I've brought you has been hot.

It's never bothered you before.

Kip, don't you get the picture, Kip?

When there are dead bodies lying around

the cops double the heat!

Get to the point.

I'll give you half our normal deal.

No way.

Have you ever heard any stories about death row, Kipper?

'I hear they got some very mean guerrillas up there.'

And they got nothing to lose..

'cause they're gonna die, anyway.

I hear they do some very sick things to each other.

Alright. You got a deal.

But I'll be back in two hours, and you better have the money.

Drive careful.

[laughs]

Andi, pack your bags as we're..

[sighs]

Damn!

[sighs]

[sighs]

[dramatic music]

[telephone ringing]

- Hello? - 'Kip.'

Andi, where are you?

- 'I can't tell you that.' - Why?

Because... you'll find me

and I don't feel safe around you anymore.

Andi, you got to believe me. I-I couldn't have...

Kip.

I still love you.

- Okay, well, then come home. - No.

No, I called because I made a big mistake.

I had to tell you.

Tell me what?

[siren wailing]

You called the police?

(Andi) 'I was scared! I didn't know what else to do.'

[door opens]

Don't shoot!

You're under arrest for first-degree murder.

But I didn't kill anyone, I swear!

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used

'against you in the court of law.'

No, I didn't kill anyone!

Yeah?

[siren wailing]

God!

[siren wailing]

What the..

[car doors opening]

[siren wailing]

[indistinct chattering on radio]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[knocking on door]

- Uh, Mrs. Chesterson? - Yes.

Uh, you-you don't know me. I'm a friend of your daughter's.

Oh, M-Marilyn?

Uh, no, ma'am. Andi.

Uh, I was wondering is she here?

Uh, is this your idea of a joke?

Joke? No, ma'am. I need to know where she is.

[scoffs] Andi died of cancer

'two years ago.'

What? Oh, that can't be, I just..

Do you mind telling me what Andi looked like?

If you don't go away, I'll call the police.

Just haven't got all the money, that-that's all.

It's been three hours!

Hey, it's not easy to get

that much money without looking suspicious.

You don't want me to look suspicious, do you

Tom, I need that money to get out of the country.

You'll get the money. Just stay calm.

Take a look at this.

The cops were at your plac and they found

some of the stolen jewels from every one of your jobs.

They got these things flying all over town.

If they find you here, they're gonna nail your ass.

And you know what, mine to for aiding and abetting.

[sighs] Tom, somebody's trying to frame me.

Why do you say that?

[sighs]

Don't tell me. The murder weapon.

I found it in my pocket!

I suppose it's not yours, huh?

- I don't even own a gun! - Alright. Alright!

Tom, I gotta get out of the country!

Look, just sit down, will you?

Try to stay calm. I'll go get the rest of the money.

You stay here.

'Just stay out of sight!'

[sighs]

[dramatic music]

[instrumental music]

Andi is their daughter.

(Andi) How did you figure that out?

The little girl in the photo from your parents' bedroom

has a birthmark

just like yours.

Very observing of you.

Maybe we should be introduced.

My name's Claire Endecott.

[scoffs] Such a stuffy name.

I always liked my friend, Andi's name better.

All of the past year

all that love..

all that passion..

What? That was just an act?

Not all of it.

Actually it was kind of nice while it lasted.

And such a tragic end.

What, what, what are you talking about?

Every good love story's gotta have an end.

Wait a second!

Come on, after all we had!

Well, some of them must have been real.

You can't just shoot me in cold-blood!

I'm sorry, Kip, it's nothing personal.

'It's just part of the plan.'

Hey, Tom, Tom, you're my friend

you're not gonna let her do this, are you?

Well, Kipper..

the way I see it, I've only got two choices.

I could save your life..

and then I go to jail..

or I can spend the rest of my life

making love to a beautiful woman..

and sharing the fortune she inherits

from her murdered parents.

Tough choice, huh?

I won't say anything, Andi.

I'll, uh, I'll leave the country.

Come on, you'll-you'll inherit everything still.

Hm.

No.

I don't think so. I'm sorry, Kip.

No!

[gunshot]

[siren wailing]

Here they come, right on time just as planned.

So we have our story straight, right?

Yep.

He took me hostage..

then he dragged me down here to get the money from you.

'When you wouldn't give it to him, he shot you.'

Then I wrestled the gun away from him..

and I shot him in self-defense.

Hey-hey, wh-what? Whoa-oh, wait.

Back up one step.

Wh-what do you mean he shot me?

That's not part of the plan.

Yes, it is.

[gunshot]

[siren wailing]

Well, that's my kind of woman.

She kills her parents

kills her boyfriend, kills her partner.

[laughing]

If she kills me..

what a babe. Yeah.

Rich, too.

My daddy used to always say..

"Marry Money."

[laughs]

Almost makes me wish, uh..

I was still alive.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]