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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,000 [MUSIC] 2 00:00:10,001 --> 00:00:20,000 [MUSIC] 3 00:00:20,001 --> 00:00:30,000 [MUSIC] 4 00:00:30,001 --> 00:00:40,000 [MUSIC] 5 00:00:40,001 --> 00:00:50,000 [MUSIC] 6 00:00:50,001 --> 00:01:00,000 [MUSIC] 7 00:01:00,001 --> 00:01:10,000 [MUSIC] 8 00:01:10,001 --> 00:01:26,000 Anybody hungry? 9 00:01:26,001 --> 00:01:27,000 Bangle girl! 10 00:01:27,001 --> 00:01:29,000 Good morning, Toby, butter bro. 11 00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:31,000 I have a buttered roll every day. 12 00:01:31,001 --> 00:01:33,000 I'm in the mood for something different. 13 00:01:33,001 --> 00:01:35,000 Oh, you know what I'm in the mood for? 14 00:01:35,001 --> 00:01:38,000 You know, one of those things, they're about this long. 15 00:01:38,001 --> 00:01:39,000 A curler. 16 00:01:39,001 --> 00:01:40,000 No, no, no. 17 00:01:40,001 --> 00:01:43,000 It's like one of those things, you know, they're kind of sweet 18 00:01:43,001 --> 00:01:45,000 and it has some kind of cheese. 19 00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:46,000 A cheese Danish? 20 00:01:46,001 --> 00:01:47,000 No, no, it's Italian. 21 00:01:47,001 --> 00:01:49,000 You know, you get them at the Saint Gennaro Festival, 22 00:01:49,001 --> 00:01:51,000 you know, and they come like a tube. 23 00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:52,000 A cannoli. 24 00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:53,000 Yeah, that's it. 25 00:01:53,001 --> 00:01:54,000 A cannoli, that's what I want. 26 00:01:54,001 --> 00:01:56,000 I don't have any cannolis. 27 00:01:56,001 --> 00:02:01,000 I have a buttered roll then. 28 00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:02,000 Good morning, Mr. Tupper. 29 00:02:02,001 --> 00:02:04,000 Would you like anything for breakfast? 30 00:02:04,001 --> 00:02:07,000 Oh, uh, what do you recommend? 31 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:12,000 Well, we've got bagels or muffins or I've got these. 32 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:15,000 [MUSIC] 33 00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:17,000 Wait, wait, uh, hello, Toby. 34 00:02:17,001 --> 00:02:19,000 [MUSIC] 35 00:02:19,001 --> 00:02:23,000 [MUSIC] 36 00:02:23,001 --> 00:02:25,000 Time to make the donut. 37 00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:28,000 Come on, come on, not here. 38 00:02:28,001 --> 00:02:29,000 Why? 39 00:02:29,001 --> 00:02:32,000 Would it be a problem if people knew you were doing the bagel girl? 40 00:02:32,001 --> 00:02:35,000 I'm sorry, you're just so cute. 41 00:02:35,001 --> 00:02:38,027 Sweet are the compliments from a pretty 42 00:02:38,039 --> 00:02:41,000 young girl in the ears of an old man . 43 00:02:41,001 --> 00:02:44,000 Look, tonight after work we can make all the donuts you want. 44 00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:45,000 I can't. 45 00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:47,000 I have to study for my comparative lit midterm. 46 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,000 Midterm? 47 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,000 Right. 48 00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:51,000 Uh, well, I majored in English. 49 00:02:51,001 --> 00:02:54,000 You know, if you want, I can help you study. 50 00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:58,000 As in any average city, the older generation believes in educating the 51 00:02:58,001 --> 00:02:59,000 younger generation. 52 00:02:59,001 --> 00:03:03,000 All right, let's talk about the theme of redemption in Henry Miller. 53 00:03:03,001 --> 00:03:05,000 Forget Henry Miller. 54 00:03:05,001 --> 00:03:09,000 You sure you shouldn't be studying? 55 00:03:09,001 --> 00:03:12,000 I'm taking the course of his, ma'am. 56 00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:13,000 No matter. 57 00:03:13,001 --> 00:03:16,000 I'm interested in your physical prowess, not your brain. 58 00:03:16,001 --> 00:03:23,000 [MUSIC] 59 00:03:23,001 --> 00:03:27,000 [MUSIC] 60 00:03:27,001 --> 00:03:28,000 Come on! 61 00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:31,000 It's stuck, Stu, but you think you could do better, you give it a try. 62 00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:34,000 [MUSIC] 63 00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:35,000 Thank you. 64 00:03:35,001 --> 00:03:41,000 [MUSIC] 65 00:03:41,001 --> 00:03:45,000 Maybe I should go get a red and white. 66 00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:46,000 School colors. 67 00:03:46,001 --> 00:03:49,000 They were given white at the student union. 68 00:03:49,001 --> 00:03:52,000 Let me have your attention class, please. 69 00:03:52,001 --> 00:03:53,000 This is the assignment for tomorrow. 70 00:03:53,001 --> 00:03:55,000 Please copy it in your notebooks. 71 00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:58,000 [MUSIC] 72 00:03:58,001 --> 00:04:06,000 [MUSIC] 73 00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:08,000 Say, you're a little advanced, you're listening, Pop. 74 00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:10,000 Well, I've been studying a little on the side. 75 00:04:10,001 --> 00:04:23,000 [MUSIC] 76 00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:26,000 This looks like an ordinary piece of toast, and it is, 77 00:04:26,001 --> 00:04:31,000 except that it and everything else here is made with atomic electricity. 78 00:04:31,001 --> 00:04:39,000 [MUSIC] 79 00:04:39,001 --> 00:04:40,000 You're gonna love you, huh? 80 00:04:40,001 --> 00:04:42,000 Oh, why not? You kiss like a vacuum cleaner. 81 00:04:42,001 --> 00:04:45,000 I think I had my first multiple, I guess. 82 00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:48,000 Although I'm not totally sure how you tell. 83 00:04:48,001 --> 00:04:50,000 You're asking the wrong person. 84 00:04:50,001 --> 00:04:52,000 I have mine one at a time. 85 00:04:52,001 --> 00:05:00,000 [MUSIC] 86 00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:02,000 Class dismissed. 87 00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:12,000 [MUSIC] 88 00:05:12,001 --> 00:05:15,000 Dad, left the chain on. 89 00:05:15,001 --> 00:05:17,000 Oh my God. Oh my God. Quick, quick, quick, quick. 90 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:19,000 Get dressed. Get dressed. It's my son. 91 00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:22,000 [MUSIC] 92 00:05:22,001 --> 00:05:25,000 What's going on? 93 00:05:25,001 --> 00:05:26,000 Oh. 94 00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:27,000 Are you okay? 95 00:05:27,001 --> 00:05:29,000 Oh, my legs are asleep. 96 00:05:29,001 --> 00:05:31,000 Oh, oh, oh. 97 00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:34,000 Dad? Dad, what's going on? 98 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:37,000 Crazy, ladies. Martin. 99 00:05:37,001 --> 00:05:39,000 Martin, is everything all right? 100 00:05:39,001 --> 00:05:42,000 Oh, fuck. It's my ex-wife. 101 00:05:42,001 --> 00:05:46,000 Uh, uh, hold on. I just, just get out of the shower. 102 00:05:46,001 --> 00:05:48,000 [MUSIC] 103 00:05:48,001 --> 00:05:50,000 Coming. 104 00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:52,000 Oh. 105 00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:55,000 Ow. 106 00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:57,000 Hi. 107 00:05:57,001 --> 00:05:59,000 You okay? 108 00:05:59,001 --> 00:06:00,000 Yeah. 109 00:06:00,001 --> 00:06:01,000 Hi. 110 00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:02,000 Hi. 111 00:06:02,001 --> 00:06:03,000 Hi. 112 00:06:03,001 --> 00:06:10,000 Uh, Judith, Jeremy, this is my, I don't know, friend, Julie. 113 00:06:10,001 --> 00:06:12,000 Oh my God. You go to Wagner? 114 00:06:12,001 --> 00:06:13,000 Uh-huh. 115 00:06:13,001 --> 00:06:16,000 You're kidding. I went to Wagner. Who are your teachers? 116 00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:18,000 Well, let's see. I have Herman for social studies. 117 00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:19,000 Peter for music. 118 00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:22,000 Peter. Oh my God. He's horrible. 119 00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:23,000 Do you like video games? 120 00:06:23,001 --> 00:06:24,000 I just got environment. 121 00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:26,000 Look, Jeremy, I don't do-- Oh, graphics. 122 00:06:26,001 --> 00:06:28,000 Oh, that's awesome. 16-bit. Come on. You got to sit. 123 00:06:28,001 --> 00:06:31,000 [LAUGHING] 124 00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:34,000 Well, she seems perky. 125 00:06:34,001 --> 00:06:36,000 Does she? 126 00:06:36,001 --> 00:06:38,000 Martin, what are you doing? 127 00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:40,000 I'm maybe sitting right now. 128 00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:41,000 What do you mean? 129 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,000 How old is she? 130 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:44,000 She's in her 20s. 131 00:06:44,001 --> 00:06:46,000 Oh, really? How far in? 132 00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:48,000 Just three weeks. 133 00:06:48,001 --> 00:06:52,000 She'll be 28. Eventually. 134 00:06:52,001 --> 00:06:55,000 Martin, don't get me wrong. I find all of this very interesting. 135 00:06:55,001 --> 00:07:00,000 Professionally. I mean, it's sort of a Lolita fixation, electric complex. 136 00:07:00,001 --> 00:07:02,000 Peter Pan syndrome all rolled into one. 137 00:07:02,001 --> 00:07:05,000 Look, she's young. Okay, she's very young. 138 00:07:05,001 --> 00:07:08,000 You know, but she's smart and funny, and I know it's not going anywhere, 139 00:07:08,001 --> 00:07:11,000 but we're just having fun. 140 00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:14,000 Well, I think it's great, as long as you're happy. 141 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,846 Listen, do you think that I could borrow 142 00:07:16,858 --> 00:07:20,000 this relationship for a post doctoral paper? 143 00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:22,000 Don't worry. I won't use your name or anything. 144 00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:25,000 I just... think of that. 145 00:07:25,001 --> 00:07:28,000 The good lord had wanted women to be doctors. 146 00:07:28,001 --> 00:07:31,000 He would have fixed it so men could have babies. 147 00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:39,000 This is your mom's apartment, isn't it? 148 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,000 Or are we just stealing the stuff? 149 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,000 You sure you're okay with that? 150 00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:44,000 No. No problem. 151 00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:46,000 My aching back. 152 00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:48,000 She's got to get a better grip. 153 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,000 Hmm. 154 00:07:50,001 --> 00:07:54,000 Oh, oh. 155 00:07:54,001 --> 00:07:57,000 You know, maybe we shouldn't, you know, hear. 156 00:07:57,001 --> 00:08:01,000 Why? Are you afraid we're going to get grounded? 157 00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:08,000 What are you doing here? 158 00:08:08,001 --> 00:08:09,000 I live here? 159 00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:11,000 Oh, this is apartment two, isn't it? 160 00:08:11,001 --> 00:08:13,000 Oh, yes, it is. 161 00:08:13,001 --> 00:08:14,000 Who are you? 162 00:08:14,001 --> 00:08:16,000 Very funny, mother. 163 00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:18,000 Mother. 164 00:08:18,001 --> 00:08:20,000 Oh. 165 00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:22,000 And who is this older gentleman who's not your father? 166 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:26,000 Uh, hi. I'm, uh, I'm Martin Dopper. 167 00:08:26,001 --> 00:08:29,000 Martin, this is my mother. 168 00:08:29,001 --> 00:08:33,000 Fantastic. 169 00:08:33,001 --> 00:08:35,000 It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Gower. 170 00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:37,000 Martin's my new boyfriend. 171 00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:39,000 Oh, I see. 172 00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:41,000 What happened to the skinhead with the swastika tattoo? 173 00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:43,000 Would you say you're a woman? 174 00:08:43,001 --> 00:08:45,000 I'm a woman. 175 00:08:45,001 --> 00:08:48,000 What happened to the skinhead with the swastika tattoo? 176 00:08:48,001 --> 00:08:50,000 Would you stop calling it a swastika? It was an X. 177 00:08:50,001 --> 00:08:53,000 And we broke up, like, a month ago. 178 00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:56,000 Why did he violate his parole? 179 00:08:56,001 --> 00:08:58,000 You see, we have this little game. It's called "Shawth Mom." 180 00:08:58,001 --> 00:09:00,000 You win again. 181 00:09:00,001 --> 00:09:02,000 Excuse me. I have some things to put away. 182 00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:04,000 Here, let me get a hand with those. 183 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,000 I think you have your hands full already. 184 00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:08,000 Can I get your kids anything to drink? Some Tang, maybe? 185 00:09:08,001 --> 00:09:10,000 Great. Great. Do you have any crazy straws? 186 00:09:10,001 --> 00:09:13,000 No, no. I like this one. He's got a sense of humor. 187 00:09:13,001 --> 00:09:16,000 Excuse me. So, where did your kids meet? 188 00:09:16,001 --> 00:09:18,000 Want some ice cream, Judy? 189 00:09:18,001 --> 00:09:20,000 We met at work, actually. 190 00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:23,000 Really? You sell bagels? 191 00:09:23,001 --> 00:09:26,000 Tell me about yourself, Martin. 192 00:09:26,001 --> 00:09:30,000 Me? Mother, father dead, live alone, 27 years old, unmarried, 193 00:09:30,001 --> 00:09:32,000 die toolmaker, well-paid. 194 00:09:32,001 --> 00:09:34,000 Worked out at the YMCA twice a week. 195 00:09:34,001 --> 00:09:36,000 Wish I was a carnival acrobat. 196 00:09:36,001 --> 00:09:39,000 I'm a book editor in a white stone publishing. 197 00:09:39,001 --> 00:09:42,000 Oh, I know it. Does Linda Perry still work there? 198 00:09:42,001 --> 00:09:45,000 Yes. She does. She's right down the hall from me. 199 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,000 I see her every day. I love Linda. How do you know her? 200 00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:50,014 I'm suing her. I catered a party for her 201 00:09:50,026 --> 00:09:52,000 in March, and she still hasn't paid me. 202 00:09:52,001 --> 00:09:54,000 I'll tell her you say hello. 203 00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:56,000 If you're through embarrassing me, I think we'll go now. 204 00:09:56,001 --> 00:09:57,000 Ready, Martin? 205 00:09:57,001 --> 00:09:59,000 What if I decide to stay? 206 00:09:59,001 --> 00:10:02,000 Yeah. Okay. Maybe I'll see you around sometime, huh? 207 00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,000 Sure. Maybe next time I'll get to meet your mom. 208 00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:06,000 Great. We can all go to the zoo. 209 00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:08,000 Okay. Time to go. Bye, Mom. 210 00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:10,000 Don't forget to buckle up. 211 00:10:10,001 --> 00:10:12,000 I'll have her home by 11. 212 00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:16,000 They're our mothers. 213 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:18,000 They're in there, our mothers. 214 00:10:18,001 --> 00:10:23,000 Gina, you're wrong. 215 00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:25,000 You shut up. 216 00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:27,000 How much you want to bet? 217 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,000 Make it 20. You're on. 218 00:10:29,001 --> 00:10:31,000 Excuse me, Toby. 219 00:10:31,001 --> 00:10:33,000 Wait a second. I'll ask Martin. 220 00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:36,000 Who was the taller guy? Stosky or Hutch? 221 00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:37,000 Hutch. 222 00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:39,000 See? I told you. 223 00:10:39,001 --> 00:10:41,000 He is not stupid. 224 00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:44,000 You owe me 20 bucks. I'll call you later. 225 00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:47,000 What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy here? 226 00:10:47,001 --> 00:10:51,000 You know, Toby, I'm done for the night, so, uh... You're free to leave. 227 00:10:51,001 --> 00:10:53,000 Well, thank you, Master. 228 00:10:53,001 --> 00:10:55,000 Someday I'll repay you for my freedom. 229 00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:56,000 (Chuckles) 230 00:10:56,001 --> 00:11:02,000 Look... You've put in one heck of a day, and I think it's just gone. 231 00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:03,000 Go, go, go, go. 232 00:11:03,001 --> 00:11:06,000 Martin, why should I go home and run up my phone bill 233 00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:08,000 when I can stay here, make calls for free, 234 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,000 and get paid overtime? Where's your business sense? 235 00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:15,000 Now, look... Oh, hi. Hello. 236 00:11:15,001 --> 00:11:17,000 Don't I know you're from somewhere? 237 00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:19,000 I never forget a face. 238 00:11:19,001 --> 00:11:21,000 Wait a second. You're the bagel girl. 239 00:11:21,001 --> 00:11:23,000 She's the bagel girl! 240 00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:26,000 So, where are your bagels? 241 00:11:26,001 --> 00:11:31,000 Oh. 242 00:11:31,001 --> 00:11:33,000 Now I know who gets all the cannolis. 243 00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:35,000 Excuse us. 244 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,000 (Door opens) 245 00:11:37,001 --> 00:11:43,000 (Grunts) 246 00:11:43,001 --> 00:11:45,000 (Laughter) 247 00:11:45,001 --> 00:11:47,000 So, what do you want to do? 248 00:11:47,001 --> 00:11:50,000 Uh, she's tough. I don't know. You know, it's just... whatever. 249 00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,000 (Laughter) 250 00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,000 It was fun meeting your mom yesterday. 251 00:11:53,001 --> 00:11:56,000 Fun? That was fun? 252 00:11:56,001 --> 00:11:59,000 Well, you know, not like carnival fun, but... (Laughter) 253 00:11:59,001 --> 00:12:01,459 Uh-huh. Anyway, I was thinking we could go 254 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,000 out for a nice, expensive, romantic dinner. 255 00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:05,000 Your treat. 256 00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:09,000 (Music) 257 00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:11,000 You know, I'm not really hungry. 258 00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:13,000 Did she say anything about me? 259 00:12:13,001 --> 00:12:17,000 About us? I mean, dating? Or me, just... in general? 260 00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:19,000 No. Do you want to go see a movie? 261 00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:21,000 Yeah. Yeah, sure. 262 00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:23,000 Sure. 263 00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:27,000 Hey, you know, your mom must have been very young when she had you. 264 00:12:27,001 --> 00:12:29,000 Yeah, 18. Why? 265 00:12:29,001 --> 00:12:32,000 Just curious. You know, I mentioned anything that has to do with you. 266 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,000 (Laughter) 267 00:12:33,001 --> 00:12:36,000 You know, so, uh, your mom never remarried, huh? 268 00:12:36,001 --> 00:12:39,000 Does she date a lot? And is that hard for you? 269 00:12:39,001 --> 00:12:41,000 No, she doesn't. And no, it's not. 270 00:12:41,001 --> 00:12:45,000 Okay. Okay. Just making conversation. 271 00:12:45,001 --> 00:12:48,000 So, uh, what, uh, what movie do you want to say? 272 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,000 Let's do something scary. 273 00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:51,000 Okay. 274 00:12:51,001 --> 00:12:55,000 (Music) 275 00:12:55,001 --> 00:12:57,000 Not too scary. 276 00:12:57,001 --> 00:12:59,000 Who is? 277 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,014 Uh, you know, I was thinking, uh, maybe 278 00:13:02,026 --> 00:13:04,000 you'd like to ask your mom to join us. 279 00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:06,000 Why? 280 00:13:06,001 --> 00:13:10,000 Well, my case is very simple, Julie. I'm the man in love. 281 00:13:10,001 --> 00:13:11,964 Well, since we got off in the wrong foot, 282 00:13:11,976 --> 00:13:14,000 I thought it'd be a nice gesture, but hey, 283 00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:18,000 it's just an idea. And, you know, as far as I'm concerned, she can go see 284 00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:20,000 her own fucking movies. 285 00:13:20,001 --> 00:13:29,000 (Music) 286 00:13:29,001 --> 00:13:33,000 I mean, they don't usually put living people on stamps, but the Postmaster 287 00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:35,000 General made an exception for Richard. 288 00:13:35,001 --> 00:13:38,000 (Music) 289 00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:41,000 Not the most flattering picture I've ever seen. 290 00:13:41,001 --> 00:13:45,000 Look, June, I'd like to ask your advice about something. 291 00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:48,000 I think I'm gonna break up with Julie. 292 00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:53,000 It's terrible. I'm only halfway through my paper. 293 00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:55,000 I'm sorry to disappoint you. 294 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:59,000 What's the problem? Is it the age difference? Does she ultimately make you 295 00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:01,000 feel older instead of younger? 296 00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:07,000 Actually, and here's where I'm curious about your opinion, I think I have a 297 00:14:07,001 --> 00:14:08,000 crush on her mother. 298 00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:12,000 Oh, my God! First the daughter and now the mother. 299 00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:14,000 Jesus, Martin, I hope they don't have any pets. 300 00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:17,000 Yes, see, that's the insight I was looking for. Thank you. 301 00:14:17,001 --> 00:14:19,000 I'm sorry, I didn't. 302 00:14:19,001 --> 00:14:22,000 I've only met her once, you know, but I thought she was terrific. 303 00:14:22,001 --> 00:14:23,379 You know, I'd like to ask her out, but 304 00:14:23,391 --> 00:14:25,000 obviously I don't want to hurt the daughter. 305 00:14:25,001 --> 00:14:25,976 And I don't want the mother to think I'm 306 00:14:25,988 --> 00:14:27,000 asking her just because she's the mother. 307 00:14:27,001 --> 00:14:30,000 Like, I have some kind of mother thing, which I don't. 308 00:14:30,001 --> 00:14:36,000 Uh, could I just take a few notes here? Just might be a Grant in this. 309 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:53,000 [MUSIC] 310 00:14:53,001 --> 00:14:55,000 Hi, Martin. 311 00:14:55,001 --> 00:14:59,000 Toothpaste. 312 00:14:59,001 --> 00:15:02,000 You know, I'm really glad you invited me over because my roommate put the h 313 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,000 anger on the door. 314 00:15:03,001 --> 00:15:06,000 I think she's going to lose her virginity. 315 00:15:06,001 --> 00:15:08,000 So what's on TV? 316 00:15:08,001 --> 00:15:16,000 Look, Julie, I don't think we should watch TV right now. 317 00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:25,000 What do you want to do? 318 00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:28,000 I don't think we should do that either. 319 00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:30,000 To what? 320 00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:32,000 Where did I leave my cheese? 321 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,000 [MUSIC] 322 00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,000 Julie. 323 00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:37,000 [LAUGHTER] 324 00:15:37,001 --> 00:15:38,000 Oh. 325 00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:39,000 [MUSIC] 326 00:15:39,001 --> 00:15:41,000 Could you-- Can I what? 327 00:15:41,001 --> 00:15:43,000 [MUSIC] 328 00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:44,000 Julie. 329 00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:45,000 [GASP] 330 00:15:45,001 --> 00:15:49,000 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 331 00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:51,000 I don't want to leave you. 332 00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:53,000 Okay, that's cool. 333 00:15:53,001 --> 00:15:54,000 Oh. 334 00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:57,000 Do you want me to take my hand out of your pants? 335 00:15:57,001 --> 00:16:00,000 I think that'd be appropriate. 336 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:05,000 Look, Julie, I really like you. 337 00:16:05,001 --> 00:16:07,000 A lot, you know. 338 00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:11,000 But the problem is-- I wish to marry your mother. 339 00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,000 I just don't see us going anywhere. 340 00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:14,000 I'm sorry. 341 00:16:14,001 --> 00:16:15,000 Oh, don't be. 342 00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:16,000 I totally agree. 343 00:16:16,001 --> 00:16:17,000 You do? 344 00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:18,000 Totally. 345 00:16:18,001 --> 00:16:19,000 [LAUGHTER] 346 00:16:19,001 --> 00:16:22,000 Actually, I sort of have to think from my lab partner. 347 00:16:22,001 --> 00:16:24,000 [LAUGHTER] 348 00:16:24,001 --> 00:16:27,000 Oh, well, that's terrific. 349 00:16:27,001 --> 00:16:28,000 See? 350 00:16:28,001 --> 00:16:29,000 That's perfect. 351 00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:31,000 Everybody's happy. No hard feelings. 352 00:16:31,001 --> 00:16:33,000 No hard feelings. 353 00:16:33,001 --> 00:16:37,000 Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. 354 00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:39,000 I'll save you cinnamon, Ben. 355 00:16:39,001 --> 00:16:40,000 [LAUGHTER] 356 00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:45,000 Uh, look, look, Julie. 357 00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:50,000 Just one last thing before you go, and I totally understand if you say no. 358 00:16:50,001 --> 00:16:55,000 But I was-- I was thinking about asking out your mom. 359 00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:56,000 My mom? 360 00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:58,000 Look, I know it's a little unusual. 361 00:16:58,001 --> 00:16:59,000 My mom? 362 00:16:59,001 --> 00:17:01,000 And if it's too weird for you, you know, I just-- 363 00:17:01,001 --> 00:17:02,937 No, it's not too weird for me, but why 364 00:17:02,949 --> 00:17:05,000 would anyone want to go out with my mom? 365 00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:08,000 Well, she always smells so nice. 366 00:17:08,001 --> 00:17:11,000 Just like clothes when I first come back from the laundry. 367 00:17:11,001 --> 00:17:13,000 She seems neat. 368 00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:14,000 [LAUGHTER] 369 00:17:14,001 --> 00:17:16,000 Try living with her for 20 years. 370 00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:18,000 Oh, she is so annoying. 371 00:17:18,001 --> 00:17:20,000 I mean, she thinks she's funny, which she's not. 372 00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:23,000 And God, you should see her without makeup. 373 00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:26,000 But hey, if you want to go out, there'd be my guest. 374 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,000 Okay. 375 00:17:28,001 --> 00:17:31,000 It might be one other problem, though. 376 00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:32,000 What's that? 377 00:17:32,001 --> 00:17:34,000 She sort of hates you. 378 00:17:34,001 --> 00:17:36,000 See ya. 379 00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:44,000 Did I never let that stop me? 380 00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:45,000 I know. 381 00:17:45,001 --> 00:17:53,000 Well, there's no such thing as vegetarian pigs in blankets, Mrs. Krabs. 382 00:17:53,001 --> 00:17:56,000 Yeah, right. Yeah, right. 383 00:17:56,001 --> 00:17:58,000 Well, there's just dough, Mr. Krabs. 384 00:17:58,001 --> 00:18:02,000 Mother, what does one do when one is in love? 385 00:18:02,001 --> 00:18:07,000 How does one go about... informing the other party? 386 00:18:07,001 --> 00:18:10,000 Well, without the pigs, it's just blankets. 387 00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:12,000 Right. Okay. Bye, Mr. Krabs. 388 00:18:12,001 --> 00:18:17,000 Hi. 389 00:18:17,001 --> 00:18:20,000 Well, if it isn't humbered, humbered. What a surprise. 390 00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:22,548 Well, you know, I was just on my lunch hour 391 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,000 thought I'd drop by him and say, "Hello." 392 00:18:25,001 --> 00:18:26,000 Why? 393 00:18:26,001 --> 00:18:27,489 Well, actually, I just wanted to let you 394 00:18:27,501 --> 00:18:29,000 know, in case Julie hasn't mentioned it, 395 00:18:29,001 --> 00:18:34,000 which I'm sure she has, but Julie and I aren't seeing each other anymore. 396 00:18:34,001 --> 00:18:35,963 No, she didn't tell me. What happened? 397 00:18:35,975 --> 00:18:38,000 Did you leave her for a younger woman ? 398 00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:42,000 I think that'd be impossible without going to jail. 399 00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:45,000 Talk yourself out of that. 400 00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:48,105 Look, I'm probably way out of line here, 401 00:18:48,117 --> 00:18:51,000 but... can I buy you dinner sometime? 402 00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:53,000 You want to go out with me? 403 00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:56,000 Oh, no. No, no, no. I don't actually have to go with you. 404 00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:58,000 I just thought maybe I could buy it for you. 405 00:18:58,001 --> 00:19:01,000 Martin, I don't make it a habit to date my daughter's ex-boyfriends. 406 00:19:01,001 --> 00:19:04,000 Of course, they're usually 19, so it's not an issue. 407 00:19:04,001 --> 00:19:07,000 Can I help you with that? 408 00:19:07,001 --> 00:19:10,000 Look, Mrs. Kep... Do you have a first name by any chance? 409 00:19:10,001 --> 00:19:11,000 Kate. 410 00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:18,000 Kate. Listen, Kate, Julie and I, it was nothing. She meant nothing to me. 411 00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:20,000 Well, that makes a mother happy. 412 00:19:20,001 --> 00:19:22,000 No, no, no, no, no. I meant nothing to her either. 413 00:19:22,001 --> 00:19:23,000 Are you saying my daughter's shallow? 414 00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:26,000 No, no. How about coffee? Can I just buy a cup of coffee? 415 00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:27,000 I don't think so. 416 00:19:27,001 --> 00:19:30,000 How about a cheeseburger? Shh! 417 00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:31,000 Hot! 418 00:19:31,001 --> 00:19:36,000 How about a lift over to the burn unit? 419 00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:39,000 Come on. What do you see? 420 00:19:39,001 --> 00:19:41,000 Thanks for stopping by. 421 00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:50,000 Listen, I have a great idea. 422 00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:53,000 Why don't you go out with my son, and then we'll be even? 423 00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:57,000 He's only 13. He's very mature, and really, I think he'd like him. 424 00:19:57,001 --> 00:19:59,000 He's kind of like me. 425 00:19:59,001 --> 00:20:13,000 Martin, I thought you had a job. 426 00:20:13,001 --> 00:20:18,000 Listen, I've got a terrific order of recipe. You might want to try. 427 00:20:18,001 --> 00:20:21,000 Oh, yeah? Uh-huh. You take a little bit of tomato sauce, right? 428 00:20:21,001 --> 00:20:24,000 A little bit of cheese, put it on an English muffin, and just slap it in the 429 00:20:24,001 --> 00:20:24,000 toaster oven. 430 00:20:24,001 --> 00:20:26,000 You might want to write this down. 431 00:20:26,001 --> 00:20:29,000 Look, Martin, despite the fact that you sleep with college girls, you seem 432 00:20:29,001 --> 00:20:30,000 like a decent enough guy. 433 00:20:30,001 --> 00:20:31,893 But I have a very successful business, a 434 00:20:31,905 --> 00:20:34,000 terrific daughter whom I believe you've met. 435 00:20:34,001 --> 00:20:37,000 And who may I say you've done a terrific job raising? 436 00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:39,000 Kiss ass. 437 00:20:39,001 --> 00:20:43,000 Anyway, Martin, I'm very happy, and I just don't want anyone or anything to 438 00:20:43,001 --> 00:20:44,000 make my life more complicated right now. 439 00:20:44,001 --> 00:20:49,000 [dramatic music] 440 00:20:49,001 --> 00:20:52,000 Yes, you do. Come on, everybody does. 441 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:56,000 You know, I mean, what about romance? What about that? I mean, romance is... 442 00:20:56,001 --> 00:21:01,000 The sacrament. And sure income. And sure it is a sacrament. 443 00:21:01,001 --> 00:21:04,000 And all our lives, we live on a banana plantation. 444 00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:07,000 Shit. I lost my train of thought. 445 00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:08,000 Romance. 446 00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:10,000 Right, right. Romance is... 447 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,000 It's important. It's very, very important. 448 00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:19,000 And I'm usually a little bit more articulate than this, but... 449 00:21:19,001 --> 00:21:22,000 I'm flattered. I really am. 450 00:21:22,001 --> 00:21:25,000 But I'm just not interested in romance. 451 00:21:25,001 --> 00:21:28,000 Well, we'll see about that. 452 00:21:28,001 --> 00:21:33,000 [dramatic music] 453 00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:36,000 [door opens]. 454 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,000 [door closes] 455 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:53,000 [music] 456 00:21:53,001 --> 00:21:56,000 [music] 457 00:21:56,001 --> 00:22:11,000 You wonder, you got it. 458 00:22:11,001 --> 00:22:14,000 [music] 459 00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:17,000 [music] 460 00:22:17,001 --> 00:22:43,000 I hope to see you next week. So until then, good night. 461 00:22:43,001 --> 00:22:46,000 [music] 462 00:22:46,001 --> 00:22:49,000 [music] 463 00:22:49,001 --> 00:23:06,000 [music] 464 00:23:06,001 --> 00:23:09,000 [music] 465 00:23:09,001 --> 00:23:27,000 [music] 466 00:23:27,001 --> 00:23:30,000 [music] 467 00:23:30,001 --> 00:23:53,000 [music]. 468 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,000 [music] 469 00:23:57,001 --> 00:24:00,000 [Music]. 33001

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