All language subtitles for DreamOn S03E18 The Guilty Party

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,000 [MUSIC] 2 00:00:10,001 --> 00:00:20,000 [MUSIC] 3 00:00:20,001 --> 00:00:30,000 [MUSIC]. 4 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:55,000 [MUSIC]. 5 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:17,000 [MUSIC] 6 00:01:17,001 --> 00:01:19,000 Hey, I don't care if you're the expert. 7 00:01:19,001 --> 00:01:21,000 This is my best friend's bachelor party. 8 00:01:21,001 --> 00:01:24,000 I'm not showing anything called the valet vixens parking in rear. 9 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,000 No, forget it. 10 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,000 Excuse me, Heph. 11 00:01:27,001 --> 00:01:30,000 I hate to put a crimp in your silk PJs, but your ex-wife's here. 12 00:01:30,001 --> 00:01:32,000 Uh, look, I gotta go. 13 00:01:32,001 --> 00:01:33,000 I'll pick up the other tapes on my way home, okay? 14 00:01:33,001 --> 00:01:35,000 Yeah, yeah. 15 00:01:35,001 --> 00:01:37,000 Listen, I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this party to Judith. 16 00:01:37,001 --> 00:01:41,000 I won't say a word, but you might want to put your little friends away. 17 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:45,000 Hi. 18 00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:46,000 Hi. 19 00:01:46,001 --> 00:01:47,000 I brought you this for us for Jeremy. 20 00:01:47,001 --> 00:01:48,000 You just have to sign it. 21 00:01:48,001 --> 00:01:50,000 Oh, great, great, thanks. 22 00:01:50,001 --> 00:01:52,000 He's just arrived. 23 00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:54,000 Yep, nothing like a good cigar. 24 00:01:54,001 --> 00:01:56,000 Toby, could you get us some coffee? 25 00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:57,000 Why? 26 00:01:57,001 --> 00:01:59,000 What do you mean, why? 27 00:01:59,001 --> 00:02:00,000 To drink. 28 00:02:00,001 --> 00:02:03,000 Oh, I thought it was to get me out of the room. 29 00:02:03,001 --> 00:02:07,000 These wouldn't by any chance be for a bachelor party. 30 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,000 No, no. 31 00:02:08,001 --> 00:02:12,000 Just a couple of guys are coming over tonight to smoke. 32 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:14,000 I see. 33 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,000 Okay, here you go. 34 00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:17,000 Thanks for stopping by. 35 00:02:17,001 --> 00:02:19,000 Here, I know how busy you are. 36 00:02:19,001 --> 00:02:21,000 Here's that coffee you didn't really want. 37 00:02:21,001 --> 00:02:24,000 And look what I found in a box by my desk. 38 00:02:24,001 --> 00:02:26,000 Cute, don't you think? 39 00:02:26,001 --> 00:02:28,000 Thank you, Toby. 40 00:02:28,001 --> 00:02:31,000 All right, all right. 41 00:02:31,001 --> 00:02:34,000 Look, I'm throwing Eddie a bachelor party, okay? 42 00:02:34,001 --> 00:02:35,000 Why? 43 00:02:35,001 --> 00:02:36,000 The man is getting married tomorrow. 44 00:02:36,001 --> 00:02:39,000 Why do you feel compelled to humiliate and degrade him? 45 00:02:39,001 --> 00:02:41,000 Are you questioning the wisdom of the party? 46 00:02:41,001 --> 00:02:43,000 Because I'm his best friend. 47 00:02:43,001 --> 00:02:45,000 Besides, he did it to me. 48 00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:47,000 Yeah, and you remember what that was like? 49 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:54,000 Okay, okay, look, it got a little out of hand. 50 00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:56,000 But I'm throwing the party this time, not Eddie, okay? 51 00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:58,000 So it's going to be very tasteful. 52 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,000 Your penis is showing. 53 00:03:01,001 --> 00:03:06,000 Jude, come on. 54 00:03:06,001 --> 00:03:08,000 It's a male bonding thing, you know? 55 00:03:08,001 --> 00:03:10,000 It's a very important rite of passage, really. 56 00:03:10,001 --> 00:03:13,000 It's kind of... Common crude, vulgar? 57 00:03:13,001 --> 00:03:14,000 Sacred, really. 58 00:03:14,001 --> 00:03:17,000 A Miss Joy a Plenty called. 59 00:03:17,001 --> 00:03:19,037 She says she'll peel down to her G-string, 60 00:03:19,049 --> 00:03:21,000 but there'll be no pictures, no groping, 61 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:24,000 and absolutely no blow jobs. 62 00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:28,000 See? 63 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,000 [sighs] 64 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:37,000 Oh, man, I'm so glad we had a rehearsal. 65 00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:38,000 Don't worry, don't worry. 66 00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:40,000 Tomorrow we'll get the flower girl to move faster. 67 00:03:40,001 --> 00:03:42,000 Look, man, I didn't mean to step on her. 68 00:03:42,001 --> 00:03:45,000 Everybody knows that. Take it easy, will ya? 69 00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:47,000 See ya tomorrow, baby. We love you. 70 00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:49,000 I love you too. 71 00:03:49,001 --> 00:03:50,000 Bye-bye. 72 00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:53,000 You have no idea who that is. 73 00:03:53,001 --> 00:03:55,000 No, I don't. Hold on. 74 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,000 [music playing] 75 00:03:58,001 --> 00:04:00,681 Uh, listen, um, you've been a great 76 00:04:00,693 --> 00:04:04,000 best man, and now that I'm getting married, 77 00:04:04,001 --> 00:04:06,000 I just want you to have this. 78 00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:12,000 Eddie, this wasn't necessary, really. 79 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:15,000 Thank you. Thank you so much. 80 00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:20,000 So much. 81 00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:22,000 He's got to give you protection, hmm? 82 00:04:22,001 --> 00:04:24,000 Yeah, I was cleaning out my closet. 83 00:04:24,001 --> 00:04:26,000 I guess I won't be needing them anymore. 84 00:04:26,001 --> 00:04:27,000 Grape. 85 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:29,000 Is it too late to elope? 86 00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:30,000 Sorry, honey. 87 00:04:30,001 --> 00:04:32,000 We need at least six more cappuccino makers. 88 00:04:32,001 --> 00:04:34,000 You have everything you need? Do you have your tux? 89 00:04:34,001 --> 00:04:37,000 Yes, I have my tux. It's all over at Martin's. 90 00:04:37,001 --> 00:04:39,000 Jeanette, relax, will ya? 91 00:04:39,001 --> 00:04:41,000 Everything's taken care of. 92 00:04:41,001 --> 00:04:45,000 Come on, we're just gonna hang out, shoot the shit, and watch some TV. 93 00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:47,000 He is very clever with the propaganda. 94 00:04:47,001 --> 00:04:51,000 All right, now you just make sure you get him to the wedding in one piece. 95 00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:53,000 He's safe with me. 96 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,000 ( 97 00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:55,000 ( 98 00:04:55,001 --> 00:04:56,000 ( 99 00:04:56,001 --> 00:04:58,000 ) 100 00:04:58,001 --> 00:04:59,541 So I told him, you play one measure just the 101 00:04:59,553 --> 00:05:01,000 way you are, and you're not getting paid. 102 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,000 Yeah, well, you know what? 103 00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:04,000 That's the least of your problems. 104 00:05:04,001 --> 00:05:07,000 Surprise! 105 00:05:07,001 --> 00:05:10,000 For he's a jolly good fellow! 106 00:05:10,001 --> 00:05:11,000 You asshole! 107 00:05:11,001 --> 00:05:12,000 Eddie, come on. 108 00:05:12,001 --> 00:05:13,000 No, you promise. 109 00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:14,000 I lied. 110 00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:15,000 I told you, I didn't want a bachelor party. 111 00:05:15,001 --> 00:05:17,000 My whole life has been one big bachelor party. 112 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:19,000 I don't want this. I'm getting married now. 113 00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:21,000 Eddie, come on. It's all the guys from the old neighborhood. 114 00:05:21,001 --> 00:05:23,000 You haven't seen these guys in like 20 years. 115 00:05:23,001 --> 00:05:25,000 Hey, what's up? 116 00:05:25,001 --> 00:05:27,000 What's up? 117 00:05:27,001 --> 00:05:28,000 Maybe there's a reason. 118 00:05:28,001 --> 00:05:29,000 See? 119 00:05:29,001 --> 00:05:30,000 Isn't this great? 120 00:05:30,001 --> 00:05:31,000 Hey, Barry! 121 00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:32,000 Hey, guy. 122 00:05:32,001 --> 00:05:33,000 Congratulations. 123 00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:35,000 Barry, put me down. 124 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,000 Oh. 125 00:05:36,001 --> 00:05:39,000 Hey, hey, look who else is here. 126 00:05:39,001 --> 00:05:40,000 Hey, Chuck, how you been? 127 00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:41,000 Shitty. 128 00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:43,000 It's the same old Chuck. 129 00:05:43,001 --> 00:05:44,000 Congratulations, Eddie. 130 00:05:44,001 --> 00:05:45,000 Thanks. 131 00:05:45,001 --> 00:05:46,000 Jerry. 132 00:05:46,001 --> 00:05:49,000 You invited Jerry Dorfer? 133 00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:50,000 Oh, no. 134 00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,000 Hope you don't mind. 135 00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:53,000 Barry told me all the guys were getting together. 136 00:05:53,001 --> 00:05:54,000 How could I miss that? 137 00:05:54,001 --> 00:05:57,000 Why, you wannery old skunk, you're just trying to get some free beer. 138 00:05:57,001 --> 00:05:59,000 I'm a good mind of throwing you to the devil out of here. 139 00:05:59,001 --> 00:06:01,000 Hey, wouldn't be a party without you. 140 00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:02,000 Yeah. 141 00:06:02,001 --> 00:06:03,000 Hey, Eddie. 142 00:06:03,001 --> 00:06:04,000 Stinky! 143 00:06:04,001 --> 00:06:09,000 I knew somebody was going to call me that. 144 00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:18,000 So, uh, who's drinking what? 145 00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:22,000 Oh, here we go, Loosey-Loosey. 146 00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:25,000 Here we go, Loosey-Loosey. 147 00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:27,000 Here we go, Loosey-Loosey. 148 00:06:27,001 --> 00:06:30,000 On a Saturday night. 149 00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:33,000 Okay, vodka for the man. 150 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:34,000 Thanks, pal. 151 00:06:34,001 --> 00:06:35,000 Adam, Adam. 152 00:06:35,001 --> 00:06:36,000 We're Scott's Rocks, right? 153 00:06:36,001 --> 00:06:37,000 Hey, come on, come on, Barry. 154 00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:38,000 You're always a Tequila, man. 155 00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:39,000 Well, thanks. 156 00:06:39,001 --> 00:06:41,000 Alcohol's a neuro-toxic miniature. 157 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,000 But, hey, you guys enjoy it. 158 00:06:43,001 --> 00:06:44,000 And none for me, thanks. 159 00:06:44,001 --> 00:06:46,000 I'm training for the marathon. 160 00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:48,000 Chuck? 161 00:06:48,001 --> 00:06:51,000 Oh, I've got this kind of pre-ulcer thing. 162 00:06:51,001 --> 00:06:53,000 But you should have told us. 163 00:06:53,001 --> 00:06:55,000 We could have made reservations at a soda fountain. 164 00:06:55,001 --> 00:06:56,000 I can't believe this. 165 00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:59,000 What happened to the guys used to Chuck Boone's farm behind the gym? 166 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:00,000 Come on. 167 00:07:00,001 --> 00:07:01,000 Do you have any juice? 168 00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:02,000 Pellegrino. 169 00:07:02,001 --> 00:07:03,000 Pepper milk. 170 00:07:03,001 --> 00:07:05,000 Gee, I'm fresh out. 171 00:07:05,001 --> 00:07:06,000 Uh, Gary. 172 00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:08,000 Gary! 173 00:07:08,001 --> 00:07:10,000 Captain Chug-a-lug. 174 00:07:10,001 --> 00:07:12,000 Come on, come on, it's a bachelor's party. 175 00:07:12,001 --> 00:07:13,000 It's in here. 176 00:07:13,001 --> 00:07:14,000 Thanks. 177 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,000 Oh, what? 178 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,000 What? 179 00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:17,000 You two? 180 00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,000 Oh, oh, I'm sorry. 181 00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:19,000 What, does it give you an earache? 182 00:07:19,001 --> 00:07:20,000 Huh? 183 00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:21,000 Are you macrobiotic? 184 00:07:21,001 --> 00:07:22,000 Huh? 185 00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:25,000 Or are you just planning to swim the English Channel, man? 186 00:07:25,001 --> 00:07:28,000 Actually, I'm an alcoholic. 187 00:07:28,001 --> 00:07:30,000 Oh. 188 00:07:30,001 --> 00:07:32,000 I can say that now. 189 00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:35,000 I've had to admit that I'm powerless over alcohol. 190 00:07:35,001 --> 00:07:38,000 Six months sober. 191 00:07:38,001 --> 00:07:39,000 All right. 192 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,000 Way to go. 193 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,000 That's great, Gary. 194 00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:43,000 Yeah, that's wonderful, man. 195 00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:44,000 You're right, pal. 196 00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:45,000 Great party. 197 00:07:45,001 --> 00:07:46,000 Congratulations. 198 00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:51,000 Sir, in your position, there must be something you can do. 199 00:07:51,001 --> 00:07:52,000 Movies! 200 00:07:52,001 --> 00:07:53,000 Yeah! 201 00:07:53,001 --> 00:07:56,000 Oh, here we go, Loof-de-Loof. 202 00:07:56,001 --> 00:07:59,000 Here we go, Loof-de-Loof. 203 00:07:59,001 --> 00:08:02,000 Here we go, Loof-de-Loof. 204 00:08:02,001 --> 00:08:03,000 Oh. 205 00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:05,000 Here we go. 206 00:08:05,001 --> 00:08:06,000 Oh. 207 00:08:06,001 --> 00:08:07,000 Oh. 208 00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:09,000 Take it. 209 00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:12,000 Oh. 210 00:08:12,001 --> 00:08:14,000 Yeah, well, I got out of the market just before the crash. 211 00:08:14,001 --> 00:08:16,000 Thank God. 212 00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:17,000 Well, you really ought to look into T-bills. 213 00:08:17,001 --> 00:08:19,000 Everything else is fucked. 214 00:08:19,001 --> 00:08:24,000 Marjorie's handling most of our finances now, which is great. 215 00:08:24,001 --> 00:08:26,000 Because it gives me more time with the kids. 216 00:08:26,001 --> 00:08:28,000 Guys, guys, come on. 217 00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:29,000 Are you watching the movie? 218 00:08:29,001 --> 00:08:31,000 You ever seen two women do that? 219 00:08:31,001 --> 00:08:32,000 What are they doing now? 220 00:08:32,001 --> 00:08:34,579 Well, they caught them with the Swiss girl, 221 00:08:34,591 --> 00:08:37,000 and now they're sort of making them pay. 222 00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:39,000 Martin, does this thing get any better? 223 00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:40,000 Ask to. 224 00:08:40,001 --> 00:08:44,000 Oh, shit. 225 00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:46,000 No, wait, wait, wait, wait. 226 00:08:46,001 --> 00:08:47,000 I can fix it. I can fix it, okay? 227 00:08:47,001 --> 00:08:48,000 I mean, come on. 228 00:08:48,001 --> 00:08:50,000 It happens sometimes. 229 00:08:50,001 --> 00:08:51,000 Here we go. 230 00:08:51,001 --> 00:08:53,000 Oh, yeah, right, right, right. 231 00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:55,000 Look, guys, I think we better just call it a night. 232 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,000 Hey, wait, wait. 233 00:08:57,001 --> 00:09:02,000 Uh, you don't want to miss-- Beautiful girls from 16 European countries 234 00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:04,000 will parade and be judged. 235 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,000 The rest of the party. 236 00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:07,000 Yeah, well, anyway. 237 00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:08,000 Daddy, please, please. 238 00:09:08,001 --> 00:09:10,000 I thought I should say that to you, 239 00:09:10,001 --> 00:09:14,598 a few important words about, you know, our 240 00:09:14,610 --> 00:09:19,000 friendship and marriage and-- [knocking] 241 00:09:19,001 --> 00:09:21,000 And that's it? 242 00:09:21,001 --> 00:09:23,000 Oh, no. 243 00:09:23,001 --> 00:09:25,000 [chatter] 244 00:09:25,001 --> 00:09:27,000 Ta-da! 245 00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,000 [chatter] 246 00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:31,000 [chatter] 247 00:09:31,001 --> 00:09:33,000 [chatter] 248 00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:35,000 That was great, great. 249 00:09:35,001 --> 00:09:37,000 [chatter] 250 00:09:37,001 --> 00:09:40,000 [knocking] 251 00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:41,000 Who is it? 252 00:09:41,001 --> 00:09:43,000 Open up. It's the police. 253 00:09:43,001 --> 00:09:45,000 [chatter] 254 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,000 [chatter] 255 00:09:47,001 --> 00:09:48,000 [chatter] 256 00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:51,000 I have a warrant for the arrest of Mr. Eddie Charles. 257 00:09:51,001 --> 00:09:52,000 [chatter] 258 00:09:52,001 --> 00:09:54,000 Oh, no, officer. What's the charge? 259 00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:57,000 In decent exposure! 260 00:09:57,001 --> 00:09:58,000 [laughter] 261 00:09:58,001 --> 00:10:01,000 [music playing] 262 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:04,000 [chatter] 263 00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:06,000 [chatter] 264 00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:08,000 I'm taking you. 265 00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:11,000 [chatter] 266 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:16,000 Mr. Charles, I'll remind you, you have the right to remain silent. 267 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:17,000 Call for my lawyer. 268 00:10:17,001 --> 00:10:19,000 [chatter] 269 00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:22,000 This calls for some plain laws. 270 00:10:22,001 --> 00:10:23,000 [gunshots] 271 00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:26,000 [chatter] 272 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:28,000 [chatter] 273 00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:31,000 [chatter] 274 00:10:31,001 --> 00:10:34,000 [chatter] 275 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:36,000 Gosh. 276 00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:38,000 Wouldn't it be nice to be that flexible? 277 00:10:38,001 --> 00:10:39,000 I'm taking you. 278 00:10:39,001 --> 00:10:41,000 Counselor, how about your client? 279 00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:43,000 Whatever it is, officer. 280 00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:44,000 He's guilty! 281 00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:46,000 [chatter] 282 00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:48,000 [chatter] 283 00:10:48,001 --> 00:10:50,000 [chatter] 284 00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:54,000 You know, I think we're ready to bust this case wide open. 285 00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,000 [chatter] 286 00:10:56,001 --> 00:10:59,000 [applause] 287 00:10:59,001 --> 00:11:01,000 [chatter] 288 00:11:01,001 --> 00:11:03,000 [chatter] 289 00:11:03,001 --> 00:11:06,000 [chatter] 290 00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:09,000 [chatter] 291 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,000 [chatter] 292 00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:13,000 No problem, guys. Just a little cold. 293 00:11:13,001 --> 00:11:15,000 [chatter] 294 00:11:15,001 --> 00:11:17,000 [chatter] 295 00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:18,000 [chatter] 296 00:11:18,001 --> 00:11:21,000 I'm sorry. I'll be alright in a minute. 297 00:11:21,001 --> 00:11:24,000 [chatter] 298 00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:27,000 Fuck, this stuff's supposed to last 12 hours. 299 00:11:27,001 --> 00:11:30,000 Barton, you got any out of hiss to beat? 300 00:11:30,001 --> 00:11:32,000 [chatter] 301 00:11:32,001 --> 00:11:34,000 [chatter] 302 00:11:34,001 --> 00:11:36,000 I'll go check. 303 00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:38,000 [chatter] 304 00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,000 Yeah, well, I'm ready for a drink. 305 00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:42,000 Yeah. Yeah, I am. 306 00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:44,000 Anybody else? 307 00:11:44,001 --> 00:11:45,000 [chatter] 308 00:11:45,001 --> 00:11:48,000 [chatter] 309 00:11:48,001 --> 00:11:50,000 I think I'm feeling a little better. 310 00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:53,000 It's just the aching around my eyes. 311 00:11:53,001 --> 00:11:55,000 [chatter] 312 00:11:55,001 --> 00:11:59,000 I never heard anybody go on so long about a simple head cold. 313 00:11:59,001 --> 00:12:00,000 Drink the tea. 314 00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:01,000 Okay. 315 00:12:01,001 --> 00:12:03,000 [chatter] 316 00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:04,000 Barry, Adam, come on in. 317 00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:05,000 That was the fart. 318 00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:07,000 [laughter] 319 00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:09,000 Hey, hey, hey, go easy there, Jerry. 320 00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:10,000 In eighth grade? 321 00:12:10,001 --> 00:12:13,000 I got to second base with Cheryl Castorini. 322 00:12:13,001 --> 00:12:16,000 Cheryl Castorini didn't even have a second base. 323 00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:17,000 [laughter] 324 00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:19,000 Hey, Eddie, who was your first? 325 00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:21,000 Go ahead, go ahead, tell him, tell him. 326 00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,000 Okay, okay. 327 00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:24,000 It was ninth grade. 328 00:12:24,001 --> 00:12:25,000 Don Richardson. 329 00:12:25,001 --> 00:12:26,000 Lisa Farley. 330 00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:27,000 No, no, no. 331 00:12:27,001 --> 00:12:28,000 Laurie Klepperman. 332 00:12:28,001 --> 00:12:30,000 Karen Kenlow. 333 00:12:30,001 --> 00:12:32,000 Mrs. Kenlow, the math teacher? 334 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:35,000 Hey, well, I needed a little help with my square roots, you know. 335 00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:38,000 [laughter] 336 00:12:38,001 --> 00:12:41,000 My ninth grade disguised life was better than mine'll ever be. 337 00:12:41,001 --> 00:12:42,000 [laughter] 338 00:12:42,001 --> 00:12:44,000 We all know who Jerry's first was. 339 00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:46,000 Marjorie! 340 00:12:46,001 --> 00:12:48,000 [laughter] 341 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,000 Well, not exactly. 342 00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:52,000 Ooh. 343 00:12:52,001 --> 00:12:54,000 Really? 344 00:12:54,001 --> 00:12:59,000 Actually, my first first was... [laughter] 345 00:12:59,001 --> 00:13:01,000 Look at him, look at him. 346 00:13:01,001 --> 00:13:03,000 Come on, you got that fart. 347 00:13:03,001 --> 00:13:05,000 It's with Martin. 348 00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:11,000 [music] 349 00:13:11,001 --> 00:13:13,000 That's not true. 350 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,000 That's not true, he's drunk. 351 00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:15,000 Look at him, look at him. 352 00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:17,000 He can't even stand up. 353 00:13:17,001 --> 00:13:19,040 You know, they say that one out of every 354 00:13:19,052 --> 00:13:21,000 three adolescent boys' experiments ... 355 00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,000 It was nothing. 356 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,000 I mean, a little touching. 357 00:13:24,001 --> 00:13:25,000 You know, it was nothing. 358 00:13:25,001 --> 00:13:26,000 It wasn't nothing. 359 00:13:26,001 --> 00:13:30,000 I mean, it wasn't a gay thing, but it was a nice thing. 360 00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:31,000 It wasn't anything. 361 00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:33,000 I mean, it doesn't count. 362 00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:35,000 I mean, we were at camp. 363 00:13:35,001 --> 00:13:36,000 It was color war. 364 00:13:36,001 --> 00:13:38,000 We were swept up in the moment. 365 00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:39,000 [laughter] 366 00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:40,000 Shut up, Jerry. 367 00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:42,000 You think dynamite would stop him? 368 00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:43,000 I mean, come on. 369 00:13:43,001 --> 00:13:44,000 Come on, we've all done things at camp. 370 00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:46,000 We wouldn't do normally, right? 371 00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:48,000 When was the last time you sang "Kumbaya"? 372 00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:50,000 [laughter] 373 00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:53,000 Oh, Martin, I don't think that's quite the same thing. 374 00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:54,000 [laughter] 375 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,000 Excuse me. 376 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:57,000 [laughter] 377 00:13:57,001 --> 00:14:01,000 ♪ Kumbaya ♪ 378 00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:06,000 ♪ Kumbaya ♪ 379 00:14:06,001 --> 00:14:11,000 May I take this opportunity of saying I wish I were dead? 380 00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:13,000 Don't--don't--don't even say anything. 381 00:14:13,001 --> 00:14:15,000 What? What? Look. 382 00:14:15,001 --> 00:14:20,000 I was just gonna say that, uh, you know, I understand. 383 00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:28,000 One time after Little League, me and Don Willingham... You're kidding me. 384 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:31,000 Oh, come on, man. It was sixth grade. 385 00:14:31,001 --> 00:14:34,000 Don Willingham? 386 00:14:34,001 --> 00:14:36,000 I was your best friend. 387 00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:40,000 Martin, we're getting into a very weird area here. 388 00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:48,000 [music] 389 00:14:48,001 --> 00:14:50,000 Yeah, man. 390 00:14:50,001 --> 00:14:52,000 [music] 391 00:14:52,001 --> 00:14:54,000 You got him. 392 00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:56,000 [music] 393 00:14:56,001 --> 00:14:58,000 Ooh. 394 00:14:58,001 --> 00:15:00,000 [music] 395 00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:02,000 Did everybody get some? 396 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:04,000 She's so-- [laughter] 397 00:15:04,001 --> 00:15:06,000 Martin, Martin, Martin. 398 00:15:06,001 --> 00:15:08,000 Okay. 399 00:15:08,001 --> 00:15:11,000 Eddie, I'd like to propose a toast. 400 00:15:11,001 --> 00:15:12,913 You know, after tomorrow there's gonna 401 00:15:12,925 --> 00:15:15,000 be a lot of disappointed women out there. 402 00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,000 You know, a lot of relieved men. 403 00:15:17,001 --> 00:15:21,000 And I'd like to make a little presentation 404 00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:22,862 to a guy who's been a constant source 405 00:15:22,874 --> 00:15:25,000 of inspiration and astonishment to us all. 406 00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:29,000 I mean, the sheer volume and quality. 407 00:15:29,001 --> 00:15:31,000 Thank you. 408 00:15:31,001 --> 00:15:38,000 To a legend, our champion, Eddie Charles, the biggest dick I know. 409 00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:41,000 [laughter] 410 00:15:41,001 --> 00:15:42,000 I moved. 411 00:15:42,001 --> 00:15:45,000 You guys are definitely a class act. 412 00:15:45,001 --> 00:15:46,000 Oh, thank you. 413 00:15:46,001 --> 00:15:49,000 Eddie, Eddie, how does it feel to be hanging out the old clean phone? 414 00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:50,000 I cleaned it out the old locker. 415 00:15:50,001 --> 00:15:52,000 You know, it feels great. I'm ready. 416 00:15:52,001 --> 00:15:55,000 Really? Ready for sex with the same woman for the rest of your life? 417 00:15:55,001 --> 00:15:57,000 Sex if you're lucky. 418 00:15:57,001 --> 00:15:59,000 For me, it's just the same woman. 419 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,000 It's not gonna be like that. 420 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,000 Of course not. Of course not. 421 00:16:03,001 --> 00:16:05,000 She's terrific. 422 00:16:05,001 --> 00:16:07,000 That's true. She's incredible. 423 00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:08,000 Sure, now. 424 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,000 Chuck. 425 00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:11,000 Listen, I'm sorry. 426 00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,000 Eddie, man, I wish you the best. I really do. 427 00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:15,000 And maybe I'm a little bitter. 428 00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:18,000 But for me, marriage was a fucking nightmare. 429 00:16:18,001 --> 00:16:22,000 Thanks for the input, Chuck. 430 00:16:22,001 --> 00:16:24,000 Hey, I love my wife. 431 00:16:24,001 --> 00:16:26,000 You do that? You see that? 432 00:16:26,001 --> 00:16:29,000 But the other night, they brought this guy into the ER, right? 433 00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:33,000 He had tried to cut off his Johnson and give it to his wife for an 434 00:16:33,001 --> 00:16:34,000 anniversary present. 435 00:16:34,001 --> 00:16:36,000 Said he didn't need it anymore. 436 00:16:36,001 --> 00:16:38,000 Forty-three years old. 437 00:16:38,001 --> 00:16:40,000 That's just one example. 438 00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:41,000 Now, come on. 439 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:45,000 I have been longer married than any of you guys. 440 00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:48,000 And there's just something about the feeling I get. 441 00:16:48,001 --> 00:16:55,000 When I come home from work and there's Marjorie unloading the dishwasher 442 00:16:55,001 --> 00:17:07,000 and I look at her and I think... Who are you? Why are you here? 443 00:17:07,001 --> 00:17:09,000 Oh, my God. 444 00:17:09,001 --> 00:17:12,000 It's okay. It's okay. 445 00:17:12,001 --> 00:17:14,000 Oh, Jesus. 446 00:17:14,001 --> 00:17:16,000 I think we better call it a day. 447 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000 It's over. 448 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:29,000 My life is over. 449 00:17:29,001 --> 00:17:30,000 Isn't that the truth? 450 00:17:30,001 --> 00:17:31,000 That's bullshit. 451 00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:33,000 Hey, really, man? 452 00:17:33,001 --> 00:17:35,000 Hey, wish I was getting married. 453 00:17:35,001 --> 00:17:39,000 I loved being married both times. 454 00:17:39,001 --> 00:17:42,000 You got to talk to Marjorie. We're drifting apart. I see that now. 455 00:17:42,001 --> 00:17:44,000 Good luck, Jerry. 456 00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:47,000 I love my wife. I'm coming, Marjorie. 457 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000 (Door opens) 458 00:17:50,001 --> 00:18:07,000 Am I home? 459 00:18:07,001 --> 00:18:12,000 I'll take him home. 460 00:18:12,001 --> 00:18:15,000 I'll be back as soon as I can. 461 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,000 (Piano music) 462 00:18:18,001 --> 00:18:38,000 One woman for the rest of my life. 463 00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:42,000 Yeah. 464 00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:46,000 I mean, I asked her to marry me because... 465 00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:51,000 because I wanted to be with her forever, you know, 466 00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:55,000 but I never really thought I'd be just her, you know, forever. 467 00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:59,000 Hey, Ed. Don't do this to yourself. 468 00:18:59,001 --> 00:19:01,000 You love her. 469 00:19:01,001 --> 00:19:05,000 I know, I know, I know, I know. She's great. She's great. 470 00:19:05,001 --> 00:19:07,000 But she's just one woman. 471 00:19:07,001 --> 00:19:11,000 She can't help it. I mean, that's just all the woman she can be. 472 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:16,000 Look, everybody goes through this. 473 00:19:16,001 --> 00:19:19,000 Marriage is scary. 474 00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:22,000 But it's going to be all right. 475 00:19:22,001 --> 00:19:24,000 Really. 476 00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:26,000 But what if it isn't? 477 00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:29,000 What if it isn't? 478 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,000 There, there. 479 00:19:31,001 --> 00:19:33,000 Oh, God. 480 00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:35,000 Shh. 481 00:19:35,001 --> 00:19:39,000 Listen, would you like a hand job? 482 00:19:39,001 --> 00:19:41,000 (Piano music) 483 00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:52,000 Martin, you'll call me? 484 00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:56,000 I've always felt a deep sympathy for disturbed people. 485 00:19:56,001 --> 00:19:58,000 I know how much help they must need. 486 00:19:58,001 --> 00:20:00,000 Probably not. 487 00:20:00,001 --> 00:20:04,000 Martin, Martin, you'll always be my special friend. 488 00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:08,000 That's right, Jerry. We'll always have camp. 489 00:20:08,001 --> 00:20:10,000 (Piano music) 490 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:35,000 What a guy. 491 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:38,000 Eddie. 492 00:20:38,001 --> 00:20:41,000 Come on, wake up, man. It's your wedding day. 493 00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:47,000 Sound the whistle. 494 00:20:47,001 --> 00:20:50,000 Fuck! What? You fucked the stripper. 495 00:20:50,001 --> 00:20:52,000 Oh, my God. I fucked the stripper. 496 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:56,000 Shh. I can't believe you did this. You are hopeless. 497 00:20:56,001 --> 00:20:58,000 Wait a minute, wait a minute. I didn't do this. 498 00:20:58,001 --> 00:21:01,000 What? You did this. You did this to me. 499 00:21:01,001 --> 00:21:02,000 Excuse me? 500 00:21:02,001 --> 00:21:03,489 I told you I didn't want a bachelor party. 501 00:21:03,501 --> 00:21:05,000 I told you I wanted a good night 's sleep. 502 00:21:05,001 --> 00:21:08,000 But no, you had to bring out the vodka and the cigars and throw women at me. 503 00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:12,000 Hey, but the only thing I did wrong is leave you alone with a woman over 14. 504 00:21:12,001 --> 00:21:15,000 This is not my fault. Oh, really? Really? Whose fault is it? 505 00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:17,000 Her fault? Jeanette's fault? Jerry Dorfer's. 506 00:21:17,001 --> 00:21:20,000 It's my dick's fault. 507 00:21:20,001 --> 00:21:23,000 My dick doesn't want me to get married. My dick did this to me. 508 00:21:23,001 --> 00:21:26,000 Oh, well, now we found the culprit. 509 00:21:26,001 --> 00:21:29,000 Oh, Martin, what am I gonna do? 510 00:21:29,001 --> 00:21:32,000 What are you gonna do? You're gonna get your sorry ass in that shower. 511 00:21:32,001 --> 00:21:34,000 You've got a wedding in less than three hours. 512 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,000 Wait a minute. 513 00:21:36,001 --> 00:21:42,000 This was a gift. Martin. 514 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:56,000 Man, I'm gonna have to tell Jeanette. 515 00:21:56,001 --> 00:22:00,000 More? 516 00:22:00,001 --> 00:22:06,000 Yeah. I love her so much, man. I can't lie. I'm gonna have to tell her. 517 00:22:06,001 --> 00:22:10,000 Okay. Okay, that's an option. 518 00:22:10,001 --> 00:22:12,914 Of course, you should be aware that she 519 00:22:12,926 --> 00:22:16,000 might not marry you today. Or... or ever. 520 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:20,000 No, man, how can I not tell her? I mean, I can't have a marriage without 521 00:22:20,001 --> 00:22:21,000 trust and honesty. 522 00:22:21,001 --> 00:22:24,000 You should have a marriage with honesty. You know, you'll... 523 00:22:24,001 --> 00:22:28,000 you'll just have an engagement with one big lie. 524 00:22:28,001 --> 00:22:35,000 I can live with that. 525 00:22:35,001 --> 00:22:38,000 You got the ring? I got the ring? 526 00:22:38,001 --> 00:22:40,000 Aw, man. You really are my best man. 527 00:22:40,001 --> 00:22:42,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 528 00:22:42,001 --> 00:22:51,000 You know, I'm sorry I was such an asshole. 529 00:22:51,001 --> 00:22:55,000 It's just that this is the scariest thing I'll ever do in my life, you know? 530 00:22:55,001 --> 00:22:59,000 Eddie. Kids. 531 00:22:59,001 --> 00:23:03,000 Aw, man, kids. I forgot about kids. 532 00:23:03,001 --> 00:23:06,000 Yeah, I'm not ready for kids. 533 00:23:06,001 --> 00:23:10,000 Oh, here we go, Loof-Dee-Looh. 534 00:23:10,001 --> 00:23:13,000 Here we go, Loof-Dee-Looh. 535 00:23:13,001 --> 00:23:16,000 Here we go, Loof-Dee-Looh. 536 00:23:16,001 --> 00:23:18,000 On the side of the line. 537 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:23,000 David Letterman is on the way with comedian Jeff Altman. 538 00:23:23,001 --> 00:23:25,000 Coming up next. 539 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000 (♪♪♪). 540 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,000 (♪♪♪). 541 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000 (♪♪♪). 542 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,000 (♪♪♪). 543 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000 (♪♪♪) 544 00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:42,000 (♪♪♪) 545 00:23:42,001 --> 00:23:44,000 (♪♪♪) 546 00:23:44,001 --> 00:23:46,000 (♪♪♪) 547 00:23:46,001 --> 00:23:48,000 (♪♪♪) 548 00:23:48,001 --> 00:23:50,000 (♪♪♪) 549 00:23:50,001 --> 00:23:52,000 (♪♪♪) 550 00:23:52,001 --> 00:23:54,000 (♪♪♪) 551 00:23:54,001 --> 00:23:56,000 (♪♪♪) 552 00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:58,000 (♪♪♪) 553 00:23:58,001 --> 00:24:01,000 (upbeat music) 554 00:24:01,001 --> 00:24:03,000 (upbeat music) 555 00:24:03,001 --> 00:24:27,000 (horse neighing) 556 00:24:27,001 --> 00:24:29,000 (horse neighing) 557 00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:31,000 (upbeat music) 558 00:24:31,001 --> 00:24:34,000 (upbeat music). 36692

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.