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1
00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:04,634
I'm very pleased
to kick off this year's
2
00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:06,934
"bring your daughter
to work day."
3
00:00:06,968 --> 00:00:09,634
I think it's wonderful
to celebrate the bond
4
00:00:09,667 --> 00:00:12,267
which is shared
between parent and child.
5
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:14,033
Where's your daughter today,
sir?
6
00:00:14,067 --> 00:00:15,601
Uh...
7
00:00:15,634 --> 00:00:18,167
Amsterdam?! What the hell
is she doing there?
8
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,167
Sir, it's Amsterdam.
9
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,000
She's probably...
10
00:00:22,033 --> 00:00:23,767
At a museum.
11
00:00:23,801 --> 00:00:27,100
We feel today is an opportunity
to inspire young women.
12
00:00:27,133 --> 00:00:28,701
It's also a great chance
13
00:00:28,734 --> 00:00:31,100
for them to see where
their fathers go every day.
14
00:00:31,133 --> 00:00:32,601
Couldn't their mothers
bring them?
15
00:00:32,634 --> 00:00:35,434
I don't care how they get there.
The important thing
16
00:00:35,467 --> 00:00:38,334
is for them to see how their
daddies bring home the bacon.
17
00:01:04,267 --> 00:01:05,634
Well...
18
00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:08,400
My lifelong dream
has been realized.
19
00:01:08,434 --> 00:01:10,000
What happened?
20
00:01:10,033 --> 00:01:13,968
Someone hire you to write porn?
21
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,767
Yes.
22
00:01:17,801 --> 00:01:20,133
Face five productions
23
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,167
has commissioned me
to write a script...
24
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,400
you know, the way
the crowned heads of Europe
25
00:01:24,434 --> 00:01:26,534
used to commission Mozart
to write operas.
26
00:01:26,567 --> 00:01:28,667
Yes, it's the exact same thing.
27
00:01:28,701 --> 00:01:31,100
After years of rejection,
28
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:34,601
my words will finally be coming
out of naked people's mouths.
29
00:01:34,634 --> 00:01:37,000
Just do not involve me.
30
00:01:37,033 --> 00:01:39,501
First I need a title.
31
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:42,067
How about
"the French erection"?
32
00:01:44,467 --> 00:01:47,601
Did you hear that channel 7
just said that my comments about
33
00:01:47,634 --> 00:01:49,734
the "bring your daughter
to work" day
34
00:01:49,767 --> 00:01:51,734
showed that I had
a '50s mentality.
35
00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:53,667
That's poppycock.
36
00:01:53,701 --> 00:01:55,601
They're just a bunch
of communists, sir.
37
00:01:55,634 --> 00:01:58,300
Really? I'll have
to update my list.
38
00:01:58,334 --> 00:02:01,501
A representative from
the woman's action committee
39
00:02:01,534 --> 00:02:03,534
is here to talk about
your press conference.
40
00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:04,834
I can't right now.
41
00:02:04,868 --> 00:02:06,801
I have a meeting
with Daniel Bryant.
42
00:02:06,834 --> 00:02:08,267
Oh, Daniel...
43
00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:10,467
he's donating some
waterfront property to the city.
44
00:02:10,501 --> 00:02:11,834
Charlie?
45
00:02:11,868 --> 00:02:16,000
Angry feminist,
rich guy giving away land.
46
00:02:16,033 --> 00:02:17,701
That was easy.
47
00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:24,367
I am so sorry about the mayor's
comments this morning.
48
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,701
Trust me... he's very concerned
about women's issues.
49
00:02:26,734 --> 00:02:28,367
Where is the mayor now?
50
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,968
He's in a meeting with
a real-estate developer.
51
00:02:31,033 --> 00:02:33,601
Typical! He sends in the little
woman to take care of me.
52
00:02:33,634 --> 00:02:35,434
City hall has always been
a boys' club.
53
00:02:35,467 --> 00:02:36,601
That's not true.
54
00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:39,434
Sorry to interrupt, gals.
55
00:02:39,467 --> 00:02:42,300
The mayor and I really wanted
to take part in this meeting,
56
00:02:42,334 --> 00:02:43,968
but something urgent came up.
57
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,467
Don't forget
the cigars, Charlie!
58
00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:58,534
Stuart, let me ask you
something.
59
00:02:58,567 --> 00:03:01,467
How much money do you get paid
for writing a porno?
60
00:03:01,501 --> 00:03:04,133
Paul, this isn't about money.
61
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:07,834
It's about creating something
that I can be proud of.
62
00:03:07,868 --> 00:03:10,601
When people think
quality erotica,
63
00:03:10,634 --> 00:03:13,400
I want them to think of
jet runyon.
64
00:03:13,434 --> 00:03:15,167
Who's jet runyon?
65
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,300
I'm not dumb enough
to use my real name.
66
00:03:17,334 --> 00:03:18,767
Charlie, I'm in a bind.
67
00:03:18,801 --> 00:03:21,734
I've been gunning for my club's
golf trophy for nine years,
68
00:03:21,767 --> 00:03:24,167
but this year's tournament
is father and son.
69
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,133
How would you
like to be my son?
70
00:03:26,167 --> 00:03:29,501
According to my dad,
I'm no son of his.
71
00:03:30,901 --> 00:03:32,467
Sorry, I don't play golf.
72
00:03:32,501 --> 00:03:34,334
I do.
I love golf.
73
00:03:34,367 --> 00:03:36,300
What about you, Stuart?
74
00:03:36,334 --> 00:03:38,634
I've gotta finish some work,
75
00:03:38,667 --> 00:03:42,033
so I have time
to write an adult film.
76
00:03:42,067 --> 00:03:43,434
Got ya!
77
00:03:44,534 --> 00:03:47,634
In fact, I live for golf.
78
00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:50,000
What about you, Carter?
79
00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:53,067
Sir, I don't think people
are gonna believe I'm your son.
80
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:56,200
Couldn't you just pretend to be
straight for one afternoon?
81
00:03:56,234 --> 00:03:58,734
Lovin' golf over here.
82
00:03:58,767 --> 00:04:02,300
Sir, why don't you take Paul?
83
00:04:02,334 --> 00:04:03,968
I think he might like golf.
84
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,200
He does?
85
00:04:05,234 --> 00:04:06,701
What's your handicap?
86
00:04:06,734 --> 00:04:09,067
He's Paul.
87
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,434
Caitlin, we ordered you lunch.
88
00:04:15,467 --> 00:04:17,501
You chose a restaurant
without consulting me?
89
00:04:17,534 --> 00:04:19,133
I ran into Carter
in the men's room.
90
00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:20,701
He said, "let's order lunch."
91
00:04:20,734 --> 00:04:23,934
That's where decisions are being
made... in the men's room?
92
00:04:23,968 --> 00:04:28,000
Yeah. We drafted a new
anticrime bill in stall 3.
93
00:04:29,367 --> 00:04:31,400
Caitlin, we ordered you
a Cobb salad.
94
00:04:31,434 --> 00:04:33,901
So now you can read
my weak, female mind?
95
00:04:33,934 --> 00:04:35,334
You always order a Cobb salad.
96
00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:37,467
Whose side are you on?!
97
00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:45,501
What other decisions have been
made that I should know about?
98
00:04:45,534 --> 00:04:47,501
We decided to build
basketball courts
99
00:04:47,534 --> 00:04:49,434
on the land
Bryant gave to the city.
100
00:04:49,467 --> 00:04:51,200
You should have waited
to hear my idea.
101
00:04:51,234 --> 00:04:54,067
Okay, what's your idea?
102
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:55,767
We should build...
103
00:04:55,801 --> 00:04:58,767
An interactive center
for the arts.
104
00:04:58,801 --> 00:05:01,701
Interactive center
for the arts... what's that?
105
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:04,634
What's basketball?
106
00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:07,067
I think you're getting
a little worked up over this.
107
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,601
Watch out...
the woman's getting emotional.
108
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:11,501
Are you afraid
I'm gonna freak out?!
109
00:05:11,534 --> 00:05:14,234
No, I think we're past that.
110
00:05:14,267 --> 00:05:16,434
Tell you what...
you make your proposal,
111
00:05:16,467 --> 00:05:19,000
and I'll make mine,
and we'll let Bryant choose.
112
00:05:19,033 --> 00:05:20,334
Fine.
113
00:05:20,367 --> 00:05:21,868
Hello!
114
00:05:21,901 --> 00:05:25,701
Caitlin, thanks for taking that
meeting with Karen this morning.
115
00:05:26,901 --> 00:05:28,467
Oh, I like that top.
116
00:05:28,501 --> 00:05:30,067
You look cute today.
117
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:32,234
Sir, I find that offensive.
118
00:05:32,267 --> 00:05:35,567
I mean, I never hear you say
Charlie looks cute.
119
00:05:35,601 --> 00:05:38,467
You're absolutely right.
I apologize.
120
00:05:38,501 --> 00:05:41,267
Charlie, you look cute.
121
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,100
Thank you, sir.
122
00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:49,067
You look pretty cute yourself.
123
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:51,767
No sale, Crawford.
I don't ride that bike.
124
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,567
Way to go, son.
I'm really proud of you.
125
00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:11,701
Let's see what
those Winston boys can do.
126
00:06:11,734 --> 00:06:14,734
Watch me closely, Paul.
You'll learn a thing or two.
127
00:06:14,767 --> 00:06:18,200
The world's finest private
instructors have taught me
128
00:06:18,234 --> 00:06:22,200
not to overthink my swing...
129
00:06:22,234 --> 00:06:24,634
Bend my knees...
130
00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:27,367
Tilt my head 15 degrees...
131
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,868
don't overswing.
132
00:06:30,901 --> 00:06:32,300
Ahh!
133
00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:37,367
Come on, Winston!
What are you doing?!
134
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,601
I hate you! I hate you!
135
00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:46,601
You're up, Paul.
Try not to embarrass us.
136
00:06:46,634 --> 00:06:49,067
I'll do my best.
137
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,934
It's gonna be a long day
for you, Winston.
138
00:07:01,234 --> 00:07:03,267
Holy cow!
139
00:07:04,801 --> 00:07:07,834
That's my boy.
140
00:07:07,868 --> 00:07:11,534
"Oh, yeah.
141
00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:15,667
That's it...Baby."
142
00:07:17,734 --> 00:07:19,200
Damn!
143
00:07:19,234 --> 00:07:21,200
Carter, you're smart.
Help me out here.
144
00:07:21,234 --> 00:07:22,467
Oh, no, no.
145
00:07:22,501 --> 00:07:24,467
I'm not helping you
write that filth.
146
00:07:24,501 --> 00:07:25,634
Fine.
147
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,033
"Yes.
148
00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:29,734
Give it to me."
149
00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:32,601
That's not right!
150
00:07:32,634 --> 00:07:35,100
How about,
"let me give it to you"?
151
00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:42,167
That's brilliant.
152
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,267
Really?
153
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:46,334
Read the whole thing
and tell me what you think.
154
00:07:46,367 --> 00:07:48,000
I don't know if I have time.
155
00:07:48,033 --> 00:07:49,400
It'll take 10 minutes...
156
00:07:49,434 --> 00:07:51,400
they only allow me 2 lines
of dialogue per page.
157
00:07:51,434 --> 00:07:53,834
On one condition.
Anything.
158
00:07:53,868 --> 00:07:56,434
Give me
one of those fake names.
159
00:07:56,467 --> 00:07:59,501
Lance buckskin.
160
00:07:59,534 --> 00:08:02,934
Oooh! I'm in.
161
00:08:02,968 --> 00:08:04,667
Paul, you were fantastic...
162
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:07,667
the way you drove the ball,
the way you putted,
163
00:08:07,701 --> 00:08:09,934
they way you retrieved
my 7-iron.
164
00:08:09,968 --> 00:08:11,567
It was a short swim, sir.
165
00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:15,033
It was great having you
as my "son."
166
00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:17,067
It was great fun
having you as my "dad."
167
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,234
You know...
168
00:08:18,267 --> 00:08:20,267
that's a beautiful trophy.
169
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,834
Ah-ah.
Paul was talking.
170
00:08:22,868 --> 00:08:23,934
What were you saying?
171
00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:25,667
Well...
172
00:08:25,701 --> 00:08:28,501
I remember
I was saying something
173
00:08:28,534 --> 00:08:31,067
and then I lost
my concentration.
174
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:34,334
Now my mind
is a complete blank.
175
00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:36,567
Chip off the old block.
176
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,901
Hey, if you were building
an art center,
177
00:08:43,934 --> 00:08:46,033
would you put in
a sculpture courtyard?
178
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,601
Yeah. I think so.
Thanks.
179
00:08:48,634 --> 00:08:51,934
If you were jumping into
a hot tub with four other women,
180
00:08:51,968 --> 00:08:54,767
would you take your top off
before you got in?
181
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,968
Yeah, I think so.
182
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,434
Thanks.
183
00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:07,767
So the chief says,
"death by unga-bunga."
184
00:09:12,901 --> 00:09:14,234
You get it?
185
00:09:14,267 --> 00:09:15,634
Yeah.
186
00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:16,968
How often?
187
00:09:19,801 --> 00:09:21,434
Caitlin, this is Daniel Bryant.
188
00:09:21,467 --> 00:09:22,634
Nice to meet you.
189
00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:24,634
I'm looking forward
to our meeting tomorrow.
190
00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:26,634
No need...
Charlie's already told me
191
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,834
about his plans
for the basketball courts.
192
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,400
I think it's fantastic.
193
00:09:30,434 --> 00:09:32,501
I've got a few more questions
for you.
194
00:09:32,534 --> 00:09:34,868
Why don't you follow me
into the men's room?
195
00:09:34,901 --> 00:09:36,968
No sale.
I don't ride that bike.
196
00:09:42,901 --> 00:09:45,067
Boy, did I just get screwed.
197
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,234
Ooh!
198
00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:47,901
I can use that.
199
00:09:56,033 --> 00:09:57,534
Charlie, we need to talk.
200
00:09:57,567 --> 00:09:59,534
You know I admire you
professionally.
201
00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:01,167
You know I respect you...
202
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,701
morning, Caitlin.
203
00:10:02,734 --> 00:10:05,067
You suck!
204
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,200
I know Cindy's your friend,
205
00:10:07,234 --> 00:10:09,501
but we had a couple of drinks.
206
00:10:09,534 --> 00:10:11,634
One thing led to another...
207
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:12,868
what?
208
00:10:12,901 --> 00:10:14,567
Nothing.
209
00:10:14,601 --> 00:10:18,367
I can't believe you went
behind my back last night.
210
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,033
I ran into Bryant
on the way out.
211
00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:22,033
He asked me to go
to the Knicks game.
212
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:24,467
It I a boys' club...
you go to a basketball game,
213
00:10:24,501 --> 00:10:26,667
have a few beers,
high-five when they score.
214
00:10:26,701 --> 00:10:28,167
It's not like that.
215
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,834
Only idiots high-five.
216
00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:34,667
I raise the roof
and point to God.
217
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:37,067
I work my butt off
putting together a proposal,
218
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,567
and your idea slides through
because you're a man.
219
00:10:39,601 --> 00:10:42,300
Don't act like there aren't
advantages to being a woman.
220
00:10:42,334 --> 00:10:44,968
When's the last time a cop
gave you a speeding ticket?
221
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,067
They don't give tickets,
they give warnings.
222
00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:54,133
Then you have a follow-up dinner
to discuss traffic safety.
223
00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:56,133
Bryant liked my proposal
for one reason...
224
00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:57,567
it's a great idea.
225
00:10:57,601 --> 00:10:59,934
He liked it because
he didn't hear my idea.
226
00:10:59,968 --> 00:11:03,367
I'm going out with him tonight.
You're welcome to tag along.
227
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,601
Fine!
I'll beat you at your own game.
228
00:11:05,634 --> 00:11:07,400
You can't handle my game.
229
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,801
You wanna get tough?
230
00:11:09,834 --> 00:11:12,567
You wanna play hardware?
231
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,834
It's the bottom
of the fourth quarter,
232
00:11:16,868 --> 00:11:19,400
you've got two strikes
and no balls.
233
00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:21,901
I think you've got
your metaphors
234
00:11:21,934 --> 00:11:23,501
a little mixed up.
235
00:11:23,534 --> 00:11:25,234
Not the last part.
236
00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:35,968
What'd you guys do last night?
237
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,467
Did you go to the ballgame
with the mayor
238
00:11:38,501 --> 00:11:40,634
and then ride in his limo
to a fancy restaurant?
239
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:41,901
I guess not.
240
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:44,133
'Cause that's what I did,
241
00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:46,534
and I didn't see you there!
242
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:49,300
Paulie, you wanna hit a bucket
of balls this afternoon?
243
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,868
I'd love to.
I can't.
244
00:11:50,901 --> 00:11:52,767
I gotta prepare
for my weekly press briefing.
245
00:11:52,801 --> 00:11:54,267
That's too bad.
246
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:57,200
Well, um, maybe
I'll come watch you work.
247
00:11:57,234 --> 00:11:59,734
You never come
to my press briefings.
248
00:11:59,767 --> 00:12:01,501
Well, I do now.
249
00:12:01,534 --> 00:12:03,601
I'll see you there.
250
00:12:03,634 --> 00:12:06,767
Wow! The mayor's coming
to my press conference.
251
00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:08,534
Ooh!
I gotta go Polish the podium.
252
00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:16,434
This thing writes itself.
253
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:20,801
I'm so nervous...
254
00:12:20,834 --> 00:12:22,968
I have to outschmooze Charlie
tonight.
255
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,934
Let me give you a little advice
for hanging out with the boys.
256
00:12:25,968 --> 00:12:27,334
First...
257
00:12:27,367 --> 00:12:29,801
When the conversation
turns to sports,
258
00:12:29,834 --> 00:12:31,467
all you have to say is,
259
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:34,467
"the athletic ability
on that guy is amazing."
260
00:12:34,501 --> 00:12:36,234
What if the athlete is a woman?
261
00:12:36,267 --> 00:12:39,601
Then you would just say,
"I bet she's wild in the sack."
262
00:12:41,267 --> 00:12:42,801
Next...
263
00:12:42,834 --> 00:12:46,200
When drinking, always
call attention to yourself.
264
00:12:46,234 --> 00:12:50,334
"Man, I am buzzin'!"
265
00:12:51,734 --> 00:12:54,000
To show your love for
the liquor, describe it.
266
00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:55,501
"Whoa!
267
00:12:55,534 --> 00:12:57,868
"Stuff is tasty!
268
00:12:57,901 --> 00:13:00,133
Stuff is cold!"
269
00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:05,133
Finally... always, always lie
about how many you've had.
270
00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:07,167
"Dude, what beer you on?
271
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:11,300
Three? I've had eight.
Take off the skirt, Alice!"
272
00:13:11,334 --> 00:13:14,100
Do people really buy that?
273
00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:15,434
Sure.
274
00:13:15,467 --> 00:13:17,133
"I am drunk.
275
00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:18,968
"I am wasted.
276
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,067
I am completely hammered."
277
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,267
Carter, we all have
a few belts at lunch,
278
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:25,801
but try to keep it cool, huh?
279
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,634
Boy, do I feel like an ass.
280
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,434
Thank you.
281
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,334
So he bends over and says,
282
00:13:43,367 --> 00:13:45,234
"I don't know, lady,
you tell me."
283
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:52,334
You know, if there's one thing
I love with a good steak,
284
00:13:52,367 --> 00:13:53,868
it's a fine cigar.
285
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,300
Now you're talking.
286
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,167
You know what I love
with a good steak?
287
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,868
Strawberry lip gloss.
288
00:14:01,901 --> 00:14:04,701
What the hell!
I'll try anything once. Charlie?
289
00:14:10,701 --> 00:14:12,901
Beef time.
290
00:14:12,934 --> 00:14:15,701
I'll have the 16-ounce
porterhouse, rare.
291
00:14:15,734 --> 00:14:20,701
I'll have the 32-ounce
porterhouse, very rare.
292
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:22,868
Just run it out to the table,
give me a shotgun,
293
00:14:22,901 --> 00:14:24,300
and pass the a.1.
294
00:14:25,634 --> 00:14:28,567
Dinner salad,
light dressing on the side.
295
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:29,734
My usual.
296
00:14:29,767 --> 00:14:32,133
Did you see sportscenter
last night?
297
00:14:32,167 --> 00:14:34,667
How about that Shannon sharpe,
huh?
298
00:14:34,701 --> 00:14:37,701
I bet she is wild in the sack.
299
00:14:37,734 --> 00:14:39,534
Shannon sharpe is a guy.
300
00:14:39,567 --> 00:14:40,801
Really?
301
00:14:40,834 --> 00:14:42,667
Since when?
302
00:14:42,701 --> 00:14:44,200
Anyways...
303
00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:46,534
Daniel, about my
basketball-courts proposal...
304
00:14:46,567 --> 00:14:48,167
I can talk hoops all night.
305
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:51,400
What do you think about
the Knicks this year?
306
00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:53,734
Man, I am buzzing.
307
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,667
Ahhh!
308
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,567
This stuff is tasty.
309
00:15:03,601 --> 00:15:05,601
Yeah! You know it!
310
00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:14,567
So, Dan,
you ever have jock itch?
311
00:15:15,801 --> 00:15:17,601
Let's talk about that.
312
00:15:17,634 --> 00:15:19,400
Dude, what beer are you on?
313
00:15:19,434 --> 00:15:21,300
Yeah, Charlie, what beer?
314
00:15:21,334 --> 00:15:23,601
One.
315
00:15:23,634 --> 00:15:25,334
I've had eight.
316
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:27,400
I had...Nine.
317
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:30,767
Take off the skirt, Alice.
318
00:15:37,734 --> 00:15:38,868
Ahhh!
319
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:40,234
Eleven.
320
00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:44,400
So...
321
00:15:44,434 --> 00:15:48,534
What did you think
of the script?
322
00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:50,100
You hated it, didn't you?
323
00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:52,467
I just think it was
a little clich�d.
324
00:15:52,501 --> 00:15:54,534
It's not as easy as I thought.
325
00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:58,133
Everything winds up being
a horny pizza-delivery guy
326
00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:01,167
or a hot-tub party
gettin' out of control.
327
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,767
All the clever stuff
has been done.
328
00:16:03,801 --> 00:16:06,100
It's just a couple of tweaks.
That's all.
329
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,667
Like on page 2...
the busload of cheerleaders
330
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,767
that breaks down
in front of the frat house.
331
00:16:10,801 --> 00:16:12,267
I'm lovin' it.
332
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:15,801
That's actually a true story.
333
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:17,601
Great, great, but, um...
334
00:16:17,634 --> 00:16:22,000
I would introduce the naughty
French tutor earlier, earlier.
335
00:16:22,033 --> 00:16:25,968
And here, on page 20...
the 2 girls playing tennis.
336
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,300
Couldn't that be
4 girls playing tennis?
337
00:16:29,334 --> 00:16:32,968
How did I miss that?
338
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,567
And...
339
00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:36,567
They're playing on Clay.
340
00:16:36,601 --> 00:16:39,334
So, I'm saying, maybe it rains.
341
00:16:39,367 --> 00:16:43,567
But if it rained the Clay would
turn to mu... ahhh!
342
00:16:43,601 --> 00:16:45,734
Oh, my God!
343
00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:48,534
You're a genius!
344
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,400
Oh, Paul, I'm sorry
I missed your press conference,
345
00:16:53,434 --> 00:16:55,734
but there's 180 people
trapped in the Lincoln tunnel.
346
00:16:55,767 --> 00:16:58,067
I don't care.
347
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,234
There'll be other
press conferences, Paul.
348
00:17:00,267 --> 00:17:03,067
I told all the reporters
you'd be coming.
349
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:04,601
I'll make it up to you.
350
00:17:04,634 --> 00:17:07,501
I'll buy you that new microphone
you've always wanted.
351
00:17:07,534 --> 00:17:10,200
You think that's gonna
make it all better?
352
00:17:10,234 --> 00:17:12,567
I don't want
your stupid microphone.
353
00:17:12,601 --> 00:17:15,200
I said I was sorry.
354
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,400
I had a crisis.
355
00:17:17,434 --> 00:17:19,133
There's always a crisis.
356
00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:20,934
Work always comes first.
357
00:17:20,968 --> 00:17:22,667
You watch your tone, mister.
358
00:17:22,701 --> 00:17:25,767
You just have to accept the fact
that I'm the boss.
359
00:17:25,801 --> 00:17:27,267
You're the employee.
360
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:29,868
Well,
I never asked to be hired.
361
00:17:29,901 --> 00:17:32,701
Yes, you did.
You sent me your resume.
362
00:17:32,734 --> 00:17:36,267
Just stay out of my life!
363
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:40,634
He'll come out
when he gets hungry.
364
00:17:43,701 --> 00:17:44,834
I gotta tell you,
365
00:17:44,868 --> 00:17:47,000
I'm impressed
with the way you do business.
366
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:50,467
I was surprised that you
suggested that we come here.
367
00:17:50,501 --> 00:17:52,934
Are you kidding?
I love this place?
368
00:17:52,968 --> 00:17:56,167
Hey, sweetheart, looking good.
369
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,200
Can I get four back?
370
00:17:58,234 --> 00:17:59,534
Thank you.
371
00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:01,033
Here you go, Dan.
372
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:03,734
Two bottles
of chateau marmon champagne.
373
00:18:03,767 --> 00:18:06,667
My favorite... booze!
374
00:18:06,701 --> 00:18:07,801
Okay.
375
00:18:07,834 --> 00:18:10,367
Caitlin, watch it.
376
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,501
Whoa!
377
00:18:11,534 --> 00:18:13,334
This stuff is bubbly!
378
00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:14,634
Bubbly...
379
00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:16,801
Is bubbly.
Is bubbly.
380
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:20,434
I am kicking your butt,
and you practically live here.
381
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,400
I don't come here that often.
382
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,067
Hey, Charlie.
383
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:26,701
Hi, Tiffany.
How's your mom?
384
00:18:26,734 --> 00:18:28,634
I'm great, Charlie.
385
00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:30,534
Thanks for asking.
386
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,868
Watch this...
I'm about to close the deal.
387
00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:35,133
Why are you so obsessed
with beating me?
388
00:18:35,167 --> 00:18:37,801
It's not about you.
It's about equal opportunity.
389
00:18:37,834 --> 00:18:40,334
It's about women finally
getting some respect.
390
00:18:40,367 --> 00:18:42,467
So this art center
is gonna have
391
00:18:42,501 --> 00:18:44,901
a beautiful
sculpture courtyard.
392
00:18:44,934 --> 00:18:48,033
Great!
And they all look like her.
393
00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:50,200
Hey! Excuse me.
394
00:18:50,234 --> 00:18:51,200
Hey!
395
00:18:51,234 --> 00:18:53,033
I can't see!
396
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:57,167
Yeah, buddy, we didn't pay
a $20 cover to see your fat ass.
397
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,801
She means "phat"
in a hip-hop way.
398
00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:03,067
No, I mean "fat"
in a hippo way.
399
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,701
Come on, tubby, hit the bricks.
400
00:19:05,734 --> 00:19:07,934
You boys looking for a fight?
401
00:19:07,968 --> 00:19:09,968
I gotta get some more singles.
402
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,901
We don't want any trouble.
403
00:19:11,934 --> 00:19:14,601
Are you wearing lipstick?
404
00:19:14,634 --> 00:19:16,200
Hey, tough guy, it's gloss.
405
00:19:16,234 --> 00:19:18,467
What are you gonna do
about it, huh?
406
00:19:18,501 --> 00:19:20,234
Huh?
407
00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:21,567
What are you doing?
408
00:19:21,601 --> 00:19:23,701
I'm posturing.
It's a guy thing.
409
00:19:23,734 --> 00:19:25,334
He's not gonna hit anyone.
410
00:19:25,367 --> 00:19:27,434
Huh?!
411
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:30,701
I'm so sorry.
412
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:33,934
Those guys may have gotten in
all the punches,
413
00:19:33,968 --> 00:19:37,901
but I made some sarcastic
comments they won't soon forget.
414
00:19:37,934 --> 00:19:40,501
Actually, with that guy's
knee on your head,
415
00:19:40,534 --> 00:19:42,467
everything was kind of muffled.
416
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:45,968
Look, I know
I went overboard tonight,
417
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,200
but I had to even out
the playing field.
418
00:19:48,234 --> 00:19:50,601
I can't believe
I had to act the way I did.
419
00:19:50,634 --> 00:19:52,067
What about me?
420
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:54,267
You think I like steak dinners
421
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:56,934
and drinking
and going to strip clubs?
422
00:19:56,968 --> 00:19:59,334
Who am I kidding?
I love that stuff.
423
00:19:59,367 --> 00:20:03,000
Well, I don't,
and it's not fair.
424
00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:04,367
Caitlin, we're friends.
425
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,200
If you felt like that,
why didn't you just tell me?
426
00:20:07,234 --> 00:20:08,400
I did.
427
00:20:08,434 --> 00:20:10,400
What do I have to do
to get through to you,
428
00:20:10,434 --> 00:20:12,767
put on a leather Teddy
and spiked heels?
429
00:20:14,934 --> 00:20:16,167
Hey!
430
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,901
Knock it off!
431
00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:22,901
I should have listened better.
I will work on that.
432
00:20:22,934 --> 00:20:24,901
You got your art center.
Congratulations.
433
00:20:24,934 --> 00:20:26,234
Thanks.
434
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,534
I want you to know
435
00:20:27,567 --> 00:20:30,033
the days of me being
out of the loop are over.
436
00:20:30,067 --> 00:20:33,567
Hey, Caitlin,
we're on the same side.
437
00:20:33,601 --> 00:20:35,634
I couldn't do anything
around here without you.
438
00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:38,000
Really?
We're a team.
439
00:20:38,033 --> 00:20:39,634
I take on six guys,
440
00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:42,200
and you scream,
"not in the face!"
441
00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:50,367
You know the surprising thing
about tonight?
442
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,901
I think that stripper
really liked me.
443
00:20:52,934 --> 00:20:55,100
Now you're even thinking
like a guy.
444
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,200
Here comes that tennis scene.
445
00:21:01,834 --> 00:21:03,601
It's starting to rain.
446
00:21:03,634 --> 00:21:07,601
It's gonna turn that court
into a big pile of mu...
447
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:10,100
oh, nice!
448
00:21:12,634 --> 00:21:16,133
What did I tell you about
including me in the guy stuff?
449
00:21:16,167 --> 00:21:19,100
I can't see why
we all can't participate in...
450
00:21:19,133 --> 00:21:20,267
ugh!
451
00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:22,601
They're gonna ruin
the tennis court.
452
00:21:29,634 --> 00:21:32,100
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.31922
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