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1
00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:03,570
Okay, look, I don't want
to be be a hard-ass,
2
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:06,072
but I really think the key
to an effective staff meeting
3
00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:07,573
lies in two simple words:
4
00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,576
paying attention.
5
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:11,077
Beth.
6
00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:12,078
What?
7
00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:14,080
What did
I just say?
8
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,082
Um, something about
pain and tension?
9
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,585
Dave, what's the matter with you
today, man?
10
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,087
Lisa's ignoring him again.
11
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:25,091
She is, and that's why
he's all dressed up.
12
00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:26,092
DAVE: Uh-uh.
13
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:27,093
He's trying to get
Lisa's attention
14
00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:28,094
so she'll
speak to him again.
15
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,095
That's not true.
16
00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:30,596
Oh, and one more thing.
17
00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:34,100
The building has just installed
new security cameras
18
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:37,603
in the stairwells
and foyer, so--
19
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,607
Hey, everybody, I think Joe
has something he's like to say.
20
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:44,110
Security cam--
Man, that's totally bogus.
21
00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:46,112
I don't need Big Brother
looking over my shoulder
22
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:47,613
24 hours a day.
23
00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:49,115
Well, I'm glad they're up.
24
00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:50,116
Now we can find out
25
00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:52,118
if that weird intern
really sleeps in the stairwell.
26
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:54,620
Yeah, well,
you ever hear of 1984?
27
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,623
Heard of it.
28
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,625
How do you know
we're not subjects
29
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,627
of some grand
social experiment,
30
00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:02,629
engineered by unnamed,
unseen forces,
31
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,130
headquartered under
some mountain in Virginia
32
00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:05,631
or something?
33
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,133
Wait a minute, Joe.
34
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:09,635
If what you're saying
is true...
35
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:13,139
Then I still
don't care.
36
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:19,145
Yeah, you're living
in a dream world, Dave.
37
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:20,646
No, if I was living
in a dream world,
38
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:21,648
it wouldn't be
quite like this.
39
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,149
Sorry. Sorry
I'm late.
40
00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:24,650
Okay, what
did I miss?
41
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,152
Oh, just
the usual stuff.
42
00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:28,154
You ignoring Dave,
him whining about it.
43
00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:30,156
Hey, Lisa...
44
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:32,658
Dave's looking fine today,
isn't he?
45
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,160
Why is he
all dressed up?
46
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,661
Well, why don't you ask him?
47
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,163
Hey, Bill...
48
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:39,665
Why is Dave
all dressed up?
49
00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,668
Hold on, I've got it.
50
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:46,673
It's not for her.
He's started dating again.
51
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:48,675
Why, you
cold-hearted bastard.
52
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:49,676
I'm impressed.
53
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,678
Is it a lunch date?
54
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:55,181
Look, just because I like
to look nice for work--
55
00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:58,684
He's cheating on Lisa!
56
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,688
How can he be cheating on me
if we've already broken up?
57
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:04,190
They can always
find a way, honey.
58
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:06,693
I ain't lying down
for Big Brother, man.
59
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,194
How about you?
60
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:10,196
Well, I'm an only child.
61
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:12,698
What? What are we looking for,
anyways?
62
00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:13,700
Cameras.
63
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,702
Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh--
64
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,704
Is that one right there?
Right there.
65
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:21,207
That's a fluorescent
light, man.
66
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:24,210
Fluorescent light...
Those look weird, huh?
67
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,712
Where do you think
they are?
68
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,214
It's right there.
Right up there. Where?
69
00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:29,215
Ho.
70
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:31,217
See anybody?
Look around. No.
71
00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:33,219
Get on my shoulders.
Why?
72
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:34,720
Come on. We got
to get the camera.
73
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:35,722
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
74
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:40,226
Give me a little, uh...
75
00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:41,727
Come on, man,
just get up there.
76
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,730
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
77
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:50,737
I'll take my shoes off
so I don't hurt you.
78
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,238
Could you please
hold these?
79
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:01,247
Okay.
80
00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:02,248
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
81
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:04,250
Wait a minute.
82
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,752
Oh, a lot better.
83
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,755
Well, reach out and grab ahold
of the mounting fixture.
84
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:09,756
Pull yourself up.
85
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,257
Oh, okay.
86
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:14,260
You got it?
87
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,261
Yeah.
88
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:23,770
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
89
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,772
Hey, Joe.
Mr. James. What's up?
90
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,273
What's new?
Nothing.
91
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:28,274
Good, good.
92
00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:29,275
How about yourself?
93
00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:30,276
I'm all right.
94
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:31,277
MATTHEW: Oh!
95
00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:33,779
[♪]
96
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:04,310
Uh, I was wondering
if you wanted
97
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,312
to go over my Bob Dole piece.
98
00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:07,313
Sure, sure.
99
00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:09,315
Okay, how about
about during lunch today?
100
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:10,816
Uh, you know what?
101
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,819
Lunch won't be good for me.
102
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,821
I'm sorry. I can't make that.
103
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,823
Uh, why is that?
104
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,324
Uh... Why?
105
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:20,326
Well, no real--
No real reason.
106
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:24,330
I just, uh, don't think
I can really make it over lunch.
107
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,833
I'm kind of--
Kind of tied up today.
108
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:29,836
Okay, Dave,
do you have a lunch date or not?
109
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:33,339
Why do you ask?
110
00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,840
Because I have one.
111
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,342
Really?
112
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:37,343
No.
113
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,347
But I could.
114
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:42,848
Of course you could.
115
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:43,850
You know,
you could have lunch with me.
116
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:47,353
Okay, fine. Fine.
Let's go out to lunch.
117
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:51,357
Oh, you know,
today isn't really good for me.
118
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,360
Have a wonderful time,
119
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,861
and that tie,
it's hideous.
120
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:56,863
You bought me this tie.
121
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,865
Yeah, as a joke.
122
00:04:58,865 --> 00:04:59,866
Well, good one.
123
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,367
Hey, Li--
124
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,369
Boy, oh, boy,
do I love her passion.
125
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,371
You know, you two really
ought to think about
126
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:06,872
giving it another shot.
127
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:08,374
Yeah, well,
try telling her that.
128
00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:10,876
Yeah, I'll get right
on that one, Dave.
129
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:12,378
Hey, have you seen
130
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:14,380
my wife candidate list
anywhere?
131
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:16,882
Oh, yes, I have.
You left it here last week.
132
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,384
Oh, good, good.
133
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:19,885
You didn't try to make time
with any of my ladies,
134
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,387
did you, Dave?
No, sir. No, I didn't.
135
00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:23,389
I think Loretta Swit's
a little out of my league.
136
00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:24,890
Join the club.
137
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,392
Anyway, doesn't matter,
doesn't matter,
138
00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:29,895
because I believe
I have located the winner.
139
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:31,397
Well, oh.
Well, that's great.
140
00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:32,398
Yeah!
Great.
141
00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:35,401
Her name is,
uh, her name is Ruth.
142
00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:36,902
That's
a beautiful name.
143
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,404
It's from the bible.
144
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:39,905
Which one
was she?
145
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:42,408
She was the one named Ruth.
146
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:43,409
Wait a minute.
I remember Ruth.
147
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:44,910
I thought you rejected Ruth
a long time ago.
148
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:47,413
Well, I did, I did,
but we bumped into each other,
149
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:48,914
started right back up again.
150
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:51,918
Oh, really? Why'd you reject her
in the first place?
151
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,920
I had my reasons.
I just actually--
152
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,922
Can't remember
what they are right now, but...
153
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,424
You know, we've been...
Wait a second.
154
00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:01,427
We've been seeing each other
for a few weeks,
155
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:02,928
and last night--
156
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,931
Ahem.
She spent the night.
157
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,933
Ah...
158
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:07,934
First time?
159
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,936
Nah, I've
had sex before.
160
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,938
I believe she has, too.
161
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:14,941
That was the first time
together, yeah.
162
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,442
Uh-huh. Well, how did it go?
163
00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:18,944
Were you--
I mean, were you, um...
164
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,446
Compatible?
165
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:21,947
Well, everything seemed
to fit together
166
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,950
with no parts left over.
167
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:26,953
What it was is,
we started off slow.
168
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,454
She took my--
169
00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:29,955
Sir, uh...
170
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:32,458
If you could just
hold that thought for...
171
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:33,459
ever.
172
00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:35,961
I have to go to
the, uh... Bathroom.
173
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,964
All righty.
174
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,465
Dave.
Remember Ruth?
175
00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:42,468
Oh, hi, Ruth.
Nice to see you again.
176
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,970
How are you? Mr. James says
such wonderful things about you.
177
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:45,972
Oh, that's
so sweet.
178
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:46,973
What did he say?
179
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:50,476
Well, that you're compatible.
180
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:52,478
Really? In what sense?
181
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:55,981
So, your name's in the bible...
182
00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:57,483
Which is great.
183
00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:58,984
I have to go to the bathroom.
Thank you.
184
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,995
Dave. Dave, you were right.
Huh?
185
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,496
You were right. There was
a reason I rejected Ruth.
186
00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:11,997
Well, what was it?
187
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:14,000
Well, I wrote it right
down here by Ruth's name
188
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,501
in my personal
secret code.
189
00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,503
Uh-huh. Well,
what does that mean?
190
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:18,504
I don't know, I don't know.
191
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:20,005
I change my secret code
every week.
192
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,507
What do you think
it could it be?
193
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:22,508
I don't know.
Talks too much?
194
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:24,009
No, no, that's
a squiggly line.
195
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:26,512
See this woman right here?
She talks too much.
196
00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:28,013
Talks too little?
197
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,016
No, that's a circle
with a dot in the middle.
198
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,518
Smokes?
That's a half a lung.
199
00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:34,019
Oh, I thought that
was a bunch of grapes.
200
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:35,521
Yeah, I could see that.
201
00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:37,523
No, seriously, what
do you think it could be?
202
00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:40,025
Um, sir, are you just
trying to find an excuse
203
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,028
to get out of this?
No, no.
204
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,529
I really believe
Ruth is the one.
205
00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:44,530
I just got to figure out
206
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,031
what it is
that's wrong with her
207
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:48,034
and see if I can live
with it.
208
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:49,535
Well, I guess
that makes sense.
209
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:50,536
Did either of you guys
210
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:53,539
get a look at that chick
by Catherine's desk?
211
00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:57,543
What a set of warheads
on that battleship.
212
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:02,548
That's Mr. James'
fiancée-to-be.
213
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:05,551
Oh, but I was talking about--
I didn't mean-- I--
214
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,056
Okay, granted,
215
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:13,059
if you want to go out
on a lunch date,
216
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:14,560
yes, that is
your own business.
217
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,062
And yes, I know that
we are not dating anymore,
218
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,565
but no, I don't think
it's not too much to ask--
219
00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:21,066
Can this argument
continue as it started:
220
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,568
without me?
221
00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:25,070
It's that girl who lives
in your building, isn't it?
222
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:26,572
What girl?
Whichever. I don't know.
223
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:28,574
There must be a dozen of them
who live in there.
224
00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:29,575
Uh-huh.
225
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:30,576
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
226
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:33,078
Hello.
227
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:34,580
Yes. Yes, it is.
228
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:35,581
Hmm? Oh.
229
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:38,083
All right,
is there anyth--
230
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:40,086
Okay, is there anything
we should do--
231
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,088
All right, thanks.
Thanks for letting us know.
232
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,589
Building's on fire.
233
00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:45,090
Oh, it is not
234
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:46,592
that dumb girl
with the big boobs
235
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,594
from ad sales, is it?
236
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,596
Lisa, the building's on fire.
237
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:53,599
Our building, the building that
we're in right now.
238
00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:55,100
It's on fire.
239
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,603
Ha. Yes, right,
the building is on fire.
240
00:08:57,603 --> 00:09:00,606
Yeah.
241
00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:03,609
Oh. The building's on fire.
Okay, what do we do?
242
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:04,610
Nothing.
It's nothing too serious.
243
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,111
We just have to notify
the staff,
244
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,114
and they'll call back later with
specific instructions for us.
245
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,615
Beth.
246
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:12,117
Paying attention.
247
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,619
The building's on fire.
248
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,120
Dave, if this
is a little test
249
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,123
to see that I am
paying attention--
250
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:19,125
No, the building
is really on fire.
251
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,626
Oh, my God. Okay,
the building's on fire.
252
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:21,627
Okay, okay,
what do we do?
253
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:24,129
DAVE: We just need to notify
the staff, all right?
254
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,131
So I want you to--
255
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,133
Hang on, hang on.
What is it?
256
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,635
It's that girl who had a crush
on you in college, isn't it?
257
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,637
Uh, Lisa, I don't think
it really matters
258
00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:33,138
who started the fire
at this point, okay? It's...
259
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:35,141
CATHERINE: ...Sunday's edition
of Meet the Press,
260
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,642
and the only response
from the Buchanan camp
261
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:37,643
was a "no comment."
262
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:39,144
Bill?
263
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:40,646
This just in:
a fire in the lower floors
264
00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:42,648
of a midtown
office building.
265
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:44,149
No confirmation on the severity
of the blaze,
266
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:45,651
but if you're driving,
267
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,152
steer clear
of the Criterion building
268
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,654
at 59th and Madison.
269
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:52,658
WNYX news time, 11:56.
Back in two minutes.
270
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:53,659
When did that come in?
271
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,160
Just now.
Do you have any floss?
272
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:56,662
I've got something
stuck right here.
273
00:09:56,662 --> 00:09:58,163
Oh, God, I hope
it's not bad.
274
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:01,167
No, it's just a popcorn kernel
stuck between my teeth.
275
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:05,671
Bill, our building
is on fire.
276
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:06,672
I guess
you're right.
277
00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:07,673
[ALARM RINGS]
278
00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:09,675
All right, there's nothing
to worry about.
279
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,677
Although we should go out there
and warn the others.
280
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:13,679
We'll probably need to evacuate
the building.
281
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,180
Get ahold of yourself!
282
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,683
What was that for?
I'm perfectly calm.
283
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,184
I believe in
preventive medicine.
284
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:24,189
Hey, you knocked
the popcorn loose.
285
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:33,198
Look, it is just a small fire
down on the third floor,
286
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,201
all right, and the fire marshal
asked us to stay put
287
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,203
until it is fully extinguished.
288
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:40,206
Oh, suddenly the fire marshal
is the big authority.
289
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:42,708
I, for one, propose
we get the hell out of here!
290
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:43,709
Who's with me?
291
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:44,710
Oh, and as usual,
292
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:47,713
I'm going to have to ask you all
to ignore Bill.
293
00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:51,216
Looking around, I see you're all
two steps ahead of me.
294
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,718
Show of hands, come on.
295
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:54,219
Who chooses life?
296
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,722
Bill, let me remind you
Dave's in charge here.
297
00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:58,223
This is not a democracy.
298
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:00,226
He's right.
This isn't a democracy.
299
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:03,229
Therefore, I propose
we take a vote on making it one.
300
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:04,730
Who's with me?
301
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:05,731
Catherine?
302
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:10,736
All right.
303
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:13,238
That one was just for fun,
wasn't it?
304
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:14,740
I have been assured
we will all be safe
305
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,742
just so long as we
stay put, all right?
306
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:18,744
Now, I will keep everyone
posted. Thank you.
307
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:19,745
Okay.
308
00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:22,247
Stop it. Stop it!
What are you people doing?
309
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,749
He said stay put.
310
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:25,250
Sit down. Stay put.
311
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,252
Matthew.
312
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,753
What?
313
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:29,755
Matthew, I think they just meant
314
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,757
that we should stay put
on this floor.
315
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:33,258
People are free
to move around
316
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:34,260
within the confines
of the office.
317
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,261
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
All right?
318
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:36,762
Whatever, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
319
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,264
Oh, then, that means
I can go in the break room?
320
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:40,266
The break room's part
of the office. Yes.
321
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,267
And the booth?
Yes.
322
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:44,770
What about the men's room?
Sorry, no.
323
00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:51,777
Ooh. I should've peed
before the fire.
324
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:54,780
Cathy, uh, let me
ask you a question.
325
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,281
Are those implants?
326
00:11:56,282 --> 00:12:00,786
No, no, no.
I was talking about Ruth.
327
00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:03,288
Oh, I don't know, Jimmy,
it's hard to say,
328
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:04,790
but I do know
one surefire way
329
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:05,791
of finding out.
330
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:06,792
Excellent.
331
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,293
Give me a second.
Mm-hmm.
332
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,297
Are those fake?
333
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:12,798
No, they're real.
334
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:13,799
Thanks.
335
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:15,300
You heard the lady.
336
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:18,304
Cathy, you are the sly one.
337
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:19,305
[WHISPERING]
338
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:20,806
Okay, what's going on?
339
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:22,307
We're taking
the stairs.
340
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:23,809
Yeah.
341
00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:26,311
Look, they specifically said
the safest thing for us to do
342
00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:27,313
is to stay right here.
343
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:30,316
They did say
that was the safest thing.
344
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,318
That will be a great comfort
to all of us
345
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,319
when we're being identified
346
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,821
solely on the basis
of our dental records!
347
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:38,323
I've got caps!
348
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,826
Look, no one is
taking the stairs
349
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:41,827
and that is final.
350
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:43,328
Okay.
351
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:46,331
Let's go.
352
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:47,333
Well, no,
he just said--
353
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,834
You don't have to listen
354
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,836
to what he says,
Matthew.
355
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:55,841
Oh, okay. Well, in that case,
I'm going to the men's room.
356
00:12:57,843 --> 00:12:59,845
[WHISTLING]
357
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,848
Hey, there, Ruth.
How are you doing?
358
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:03,849
Hi, Beth.
359
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,350
You know, I'm a little nervous
about this fire.
360
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:07,853
Oh, God, yeah, I know
what you mean. Tell me about it.
361
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:09,354
That reminds me,
have you ever been married,
362
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,856
and if so, was he
remarkably wealthy,
363
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:14,860
and if he was, did he die under
mysterious circumstances?
364
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,862
Actually,
I've never been married.
365
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:17,863
Me neither.
366
00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,865
My God, I feel so close.
367
00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:21,867
Buh-bye.
368
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:26,372
No luck.
Damn!
369
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:29,375
Hi, sweetie.
See you in a minute.
370
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:33,879
All right,
where are you going?
371
00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:35,881
To the stairwell! To life!
372
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:37,382
Bill, they said
the safest place
373
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:38,884
is to stay here.
374
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:40,385
The devil mixes his lies
with the truth, people.
375
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:42,388
Let's go!
376
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:49,895
Hi there. Hey.
377
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:51,396
Hey, welcome back.
378
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:53,899
How's it going?
How are you doing?
379
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:58,404
Hi there!
380
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,406
You know, I think
talking pictures
381
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:01,907
are going
to ruin Hollywood.
382
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:07,412
Okay, um,
383
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,915
I-- I just wanted
to apologize to you
384
00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:11,917
for the way
I've been behaving today,
385
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,919
and I guess you're not
the only one who gets jealous,
386
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:14,920
and I'm sorry.
387
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,922
Well, um...
388
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,924
Apology accepted.
389
00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:21,426
Reluctantly, because I suspect
there is a catch.
390
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:22,428
What is it?
391
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,929
No. No, no.
Nothing?
392
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:26,431
It's just that when I realized
that the fire was serious--
393
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,433
This fire
is not serious.
394
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,435
No matter what
crazy rumors you've heard,
395
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:30,936
it's not serious.
396
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:36,441
Well, fine, but I was thinking
that if the fire were serious,
397
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:37,943
hypothetically speaking,
398
00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:39,444
it would make me sad
399
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,947
to think that we spent
our last moments fighting.
400
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,448
Oh.
401
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:46,452
Well, how would you rather
we spend our last moments,
402
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:48,454
uh, hypothetically
speaking?
403
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:53,458
That's not relevant.
404
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:55,461
Anyway, I'm sorry again.
405
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:59,464
Uh, Lisa.
406
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:04,469
Uh, Lisa, you know, you've
been very honest with me,
407
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,971
you've been very honest,
408
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:09,975
and I would like to be
very honest with you.
409
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:11,977
This fire is much more serious
than I've let on.
410
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:13,478
Oh, my God! I knew it!
411
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:14,980
How serious is it?
412
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:17,482
Do you remember the Hindenburg?
Uh-huh.
413
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:18,984
So you're telling me
414
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:21,486
that this place
could go up any minute?
415
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:24,490
Oh, yeah, in the blink
of an eye, it could go up.
416
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:26,492
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
417
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,995
Who is it?
418
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:34,499
Dave, it's me, Joe. Let me
in. I got to talk to you.
419
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:38,003
All right, Joe,
this had better be good
420
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:39,504
and it had better
be fast.
421
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,508
That's what I was just
about to say.
422
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:44,009
I'm sorry
to bug you, dude,
423
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:47,012
but there's something
I got to get off my chest.
424
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:48,513
Been bugging me
for a while.
425
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:50,516
I guess it's, uh...
I don't know, man.
426
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,518
I guess it all stems
from my parents,
427
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:55,521
I mean, who aren't the most
open people in the world.
428
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:58,023
We talked, but
we never really talked.
429
00:15:58,023 --> 00:15:59,524
You know what I mean? So...
Yeah.
430
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:02,027
It's hard for me
when I got to say something.
431
00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:03,528
It's--
432
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,030
Joe, I can see something's
really troubling you, so,
433
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:07,032
get to it!
434
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:08,533
You know,
I tried to keep it inside--
435
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:09,535
Yeah, well, don't.
436
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,537
I just feel like
I'm living a lie--
437
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:14,039
Well, that's the wrong way
to live. Spit it out.
438
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:18,544
I started the fire.
439
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:20,045
It was an accident.
440
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:23,048
I was trying to sabotage
the security cameras
441
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:25,550
and I screwed up,
and I wired them the wrong way,
442
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,052
and I just-- I feel
totally responsible--
443
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:29,554
Well, no point crying over
spilled milk, now, is there?
444
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,557
Could you go now?
Could you...
445
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:33,559
You're not going to fire me?
446
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,060
No, no, no. Everything's fine.
447
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,061
Everything's good.
Everything's great.
448
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:37,062
You're aces. Get out.
449
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,566
Okay.
Yeah, okay.
450
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,068
You know, while
we're clearing the air...
451
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:44,569
Uh-huh? What?
452
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:47,072
I also want to say that, uh,
I was the one last week
453
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,573
who blew up
the antenna relays.
454
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,075
Fine. Forgiven.
Forgiven completely.
455
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:51,576
Yeah. Forgiven. Go.
456
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:54,079
Also, uh,
I'm the unabomber.
457
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,580
Who isn't?
458
00:16:57,082 --> 00:17:00,085
Maybe I should go get Lisa, huh?
Yes!
459
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:03,088
Did you want to see me?
Hi.
460
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:04,589
I'll just leave you two
alone now.
461
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,592
Thanks, Joe. Thanks.
462
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,093
I'll be out here.
463
00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:09,594
How's the fire?
464
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:11,597
They're calling it
a Dresden for the '90s.
465
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:12,598
Hey, Dave,
you ever--
466
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:14,099
Whoa! What
are you two doing?
467
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:15,100
You having
a little fling
468
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:16,601
before the world
goes up in flames?
469
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:17,603
We're trying, sir.
470
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:19,104
Okay, okay,
I'll make it quick, then.
471
00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:20,605
You ever heard Ruth say anything
472
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,608
about taking up arms
against the government?
473
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:25,110
I've hardly exchanged
five words with the woman.
474
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:26,111
Uh-huh, were any of them
475
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:28,113
about taking up arms
against the government?
476
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:29,114
No.
477
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:31,616
No? Well, then, I have
eliminated every possibility.
478
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:34,620
Dave, Lisa, congratulate me.
I have found a wife!
479
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,121
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
480
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:39,124
Well, thanks!
Big step, big step.
481
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:43,128
You know, ahem, there comes
a time in a man's life
482
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,629
when change must occur.
483
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:45,631
Change...
484
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:48,133
Would you guys rather hear
this later?
485
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,134
Yes.
Yeah.
486
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:50,635
Okay.
487
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:52,638
Carry on.
488
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:59,144
Hi, Mom? Hi. It's me.
489
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:00,645
Um...
490
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,648
Oh, nothing, I just...
491
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:06,151
There's a little fire
in the building where I work.
492
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:09,654
I'm sure it's no big deal,
but I just, uh...
493
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:15,160
I wanted to call to tell you
that I love you.
494
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:19,164
No, I did not
start the fire!
495
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:22,167
What is the matter with you?
Why do you always do that?
496
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,669
Oh, give me a break.
Give me a break!
497
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,171
Why do I try?!
498
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,173
[SIGHS]
499
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:29,674
[THUMPING]
500
00:18:32,177 --> 00:18:34,679
What are they
doing in there?
501
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,181
I have no idea,
502
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:38,683
but I think we're going to be
needing a squeegee later.
503
00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:44,189
[WHISTLES]
504
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,190
Excuse me, folks.
505
00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:46,691
I just want to say,
everything's fine.
506
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:47,693
Fire's out.
507
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:50,696
[CHEERING]
508
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,698
Thank you.
509
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:55,200
Hi. Is the
news director in?
510
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,203
Uh, not yet.
511
00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:02,207
He's one of those
sensitive guys.
512
00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:04,209
Dave, you'd better
get out here!
513
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:08,213
Dave!
514
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:09,714
What?
515
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:10,716
Fire's out,
Mr. Nelson.
516
00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:13,718
You sure?
517
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:15,721
Yes, I'm sure the fire is out.
518
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:20,225
Well, that's great news,
isn't it?
519
00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:22,227
The fire's out,
miss.
520
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:24,729
You can put your shirt
back on now.
521
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:30,735
Well... Ahem...
522
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:32,237
That was close.
523
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:34,239
Oh yeah...
524
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,242
You know,
525
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:40,245
it could, uh, flare up
again, you know.
526
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:42,247
Y-yeah...
527
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:45,750
Uh... Who are
we kidding?
528
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:48,754
Yeah. Well, uh...
529
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:49,755
See you.
530
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,757
See you.
531
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:57,262
I'm happy to share
532
00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:58,263
these ridiculously
expensive cigars
533
00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:00,265
with all of you.
534
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:01,766
What's more,
I would've been proud
535
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:04,269
to spend my last living moments
536
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:06,771
with such
a fine group of people.
537
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:07,773
Really? That's
interesting, Bill.
538
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,274
Because, like,
an hour ago,
539
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:11,776
you were complaining about
having to be burnt to a crisp
540
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:14,279
with a bunch of freaks
you only pretend to like.
541
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:17,282
That statement was made
at a very emotional moment.
542
00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:19,784
I only ask you to respect that.
543
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:21,787
Well, I think our collective
bravery
544
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:25,290
has earned us all a long night
of very hard drinking.
545
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,292
[CHEERING]
546
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:28,793
Mr. James? Ruth?
Are you with us?
547
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:30,295
You betcha!
548
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:31,296
Uh, Jimmy...
Huh?
549
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:32,297
Excuse us.
550
00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:33,798
Just a sec, guys.
551
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,801
Honey...
What?
552
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:36,802
Couldn't we
get out of here,
553
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,303
spend a little time
alone together?
554
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:40,305
Yeah, but the guys want
to do something right here.
555
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:41,806
I know, but...
556
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:44,309
Well, I've told you how
I feel about these people.
557
00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:45,810
Well, how is that?
558
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:48,313
Well, they're not
the kind of people
559
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:50,815
I'd want to spend time with
if I didn't have to.
560
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,317
I mean, you've got
to admit
561
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:53,318
they're an incredibly
weird group.
562
00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:55,820
JOE: Dude, don't inhale it.
CATHERINE: Matthew!
563
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:57,823
MATTHEW:
But it makes me feel dizzy.
564
00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:58,824
[GIGGLING]
565
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:01,827
Bingo!
566
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:02,828
What's that?
567
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:04,830
Nothing, nothing.
I'll tell you what.
568
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,331
Why don't you go downstairs
569
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:07,832
and I'll tell them
why I can't go.
570
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,835
Okay? All right.
Bye-bye, sweetie!
571
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:12,838
Security? Yeah.
572
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:15,340
This is Jimmy James
on 14.
573
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:17,842
Code five. Thanks a lot.
574
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:20,846
It's always something, huh?
575
00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:22,848
Come on, Mr. James,
have a drink.
576
00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:24,349
Thanks, buddy.
577
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:25,850
[BUILDING GROANS]
578
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:27,352
What was that?
579
00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:29,354
Uh, that's the building
settling.
580
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:32,857
The fire must've damaged
the pylons.
581
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:35,360
Wait a minute.
582
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,362
So are you saying
583
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:39,864
this whole building
may collapse at any moment?
584
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:43,368
It's like, one
in 100-billion-to-one chance.
585
00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:44,869
Well, a chance
is still a chance.
586
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:46,872
I think we ought to call
the engineer.
587
00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:47,873
Exactly. You dial,
and I'll talk.
588
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:53,879
Hey, does anybody want
to go down to the third floor
589
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:56,381
and look at the cool
burnt-up stuff?
590
00:21:56,381 --> 00:21:57,882
Yeah!
Come on, come on!
591
00:22:12,397 --> 00:22:15,400
[♪]
40962
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