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1
00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:04,070
Morning, boss.
2
00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:05,571
Morning.
3
00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:06,573
Is somebody burning
old sneakers out there?
4
00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:08,575
Oh, I know.
5
00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:10,577
Actually, Matthew is making
his special herbal tea again.
6
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,078
Has Catherine called in yet?
7
00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:13,079
Uh, actually--
8
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,081
Hey, Dave,
you got a minute?
9
00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:16,082
Sure.
Catherine called...
10
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:17,083
Yeah, Catherine--
11
00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:18,084
Beth, Beth, Beth,
12
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,585
could we have
a minute, please?
13
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,087
Thank you very much.
I really appreciate it.
14
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:25,591
Dave, it's
my weird nephew, Theo.
15
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:28,094
I mean, the poor kid
is so weird.
16
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:30,096
I mean, he's just...
17
00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:32,098
weird.
18
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,099
Okay. How weird is he?
19
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:34,600
[WHISTLING]
Well--
20
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,603
Hey, Matthew, you know
my nephew, don't you?
21
00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,104
You mean Theo?
22
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:40,106
Oh, yeah.
He's really cool.
23
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:42,608
That weird, huh?
24
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:45,111
Yeah. What smells
like urine?
25
00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:47,613
Oh, this. I made
my special herbal tea.
26
00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:49,115
If anybody
wants to dip in--
27
00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:50,616
No.
28
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:51,618
All right.
29
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,621
Anyway, Theo has made
30
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,122
some really bad
career choices lately.
31
00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:58,124
You know, the poor kid
is so down.
32
00:00:58,124 --> 00:00:59,625
He's really down.
33
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:02,128
Well, as impressive
as you make him sound, sir,
34
00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:05,131
I don't think
I can find a job around here
35
00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:06,632
for your weird nephew, Theo.
36
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,134
All right. Can you
just talk to him
37
00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:09,635
about a job in
the radio industry?
38
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:10,637
I'd be very
happy to.
39
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:11,638
I'd appreciate that.
40
00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:13,640
If you can just get me
his phone number.
41
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,142
Okay. Theo, what's
your phone number?
42
00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:17,643
I'm in the book.
43
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,646
Oh, that's right,
that's right.
44
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,649
Theo, this is Dave.
Dave, this is my weird nephew, Theo.
45
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,651
Pleasure to
meet you, Theo,
46
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,653
but I really do
have to rush.
47
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:29,656
It's a fresh batch,
and it is herbaliffic. Theo!
48
00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:30,657
Matthew.
49
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,158
Cool.
Cool.
50
00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:33,159
Anybody?
51
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,161
Matthew, get that
out of my face.
52
00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:36,162
Okay. Maybe later.
53
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:38,164
Dave, I'll
see you later.
54
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:39,665
Theo, I will be back later.
55
00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,167
Okay.
56
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:42,668
So, Theo,
57
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,170
I hear you're interested
in radio.
58
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:47,173
Anything would be better
than what I'm doing now.
59
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:48,674
What are you doing?
60
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:53,179
I give motivational speeches
at corporate events.
61
00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,182
Beth!
62
00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:57,683
Boss?
63
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:58,685
Theo.
No.
64
00:01:58,685 --> 00:01:59,686
Yes.
Why?
65
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:00,687
Because. Catherine?
66
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:01,688
Why didn't you--
Sick.
67
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,189
You were talking--
68
00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:05,191
Lisa...
Oh, my God. Hi.
69
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:07,193
Oh, hi.
70
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:08,694
Hi. What's your name?
71
00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,697
I really don't like
to give that out.
72
00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:12,699
Actually, it's
against office policy.
73
00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:14,200
Oh, my God.
That is so smelly.
74
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,701
Oh, that does smell good.
75
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,704
Yes. It's
my herbal tea.
76
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,205
It's my special tea.
77
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:22,708
Matthew, please do not spill
that urine tea on me.
78
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,711
I'm not going to spill it.
It's my special tea.
79
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:26,212
Oh!
80
00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,713
I used to be a waiter.
I'm fine.
81
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:34,220
I'm a little bit
dizzy, though.
82
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,724
[♪]
83
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:08,754
Hey, Lisa--are you
having popcorn
84
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:11,257
for breakfast
again?
85
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:14,260
Dave, I do not have
an eating disorder.
86
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,761
Yes, you do.
87
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:16,763
Catherine's
called in sick.
88
00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:17,764
Is she okay?
Yeah. she'll be fine,
89
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:20,266
but I need you
to fill in for her, all right?
90
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,768
Definitely. Did you clear this
with Matthew and Bill?
91
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,771
No. Why should I?
It's my decision, not theirs.
92
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,272
Well, I know,
but as the employer,
93
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,274
it's your job
to make your employees
94
00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:30,776
feel they're part of
the decision-making process.
95
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:32,779
Is this something you learned
from that stupid book
96
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:35,782
on Japanese management
technique?
97
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:39,285
You don't actually
have to listen to them, just pretend to.
98
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:42,288
It helps create
a more harmonious group energy.
99
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,290
Again, is this from
that stupid book
100
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,292
on Japanese
management techniques?
101
00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:48,794
This is just a standard
management technique
102
00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:51,798
that has been used
by personnel supervisors since the days of...
103
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:54,300
Ho Lu, grand emperor
of the Wu Dynasty.
104
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,802
Well, would you mind
getting in the booth?
105
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:59,806
Not until you clear it
with Bill and Matthew.
106
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,307
Fine. And, you know,
you're not--
107
00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:03,309
I know,
I'm not fat.
108
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:05,811
Matthew, I need your
advice on something.
109
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,313
What up?
110
00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:08,814
Well, Catherine's
called in sick,
111
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:11,317
and I wanted to put Lisa
in the booth to fill in,
112
00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:13,319
but I wanted
to get your input.
113
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:15,321
My input is,
I think I should do it.
114
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,825
I'm sure you would do
a wonderful job,
115
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,828
but Lisa does have
more experience.
116
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:25,832
Screw experience, Dave.
I want to do it.
117
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,333
You're an only child,
aren't you?
118
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,835
Yeah. Yeah, why?
119
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,838
No reason.
Thanks for your input.
120
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:34,340
So I'm going to do it,
yeah or...
121
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,842
I'm sure that Dave
will consider your input
122
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:37,844
when he makes his final--
123
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:40,847
Lisa, no offense, but this is
really between Dave and I.
124
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,849
Thank you, though.
125
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,354
Found you!
126
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:49,855
You're it.
127
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:52,859
You are so much fun,
you know that?
128
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,360
How did you get out?
129
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,861
Mr. James!
Hey, your ride's here.
130
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:57,363
Hey, it's been fun.
Bye-bye.
131
00:04:57,363 --> 00:04:59,365
Hey, Theo, you ready?
132
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:00,866
Do I have to go?
133
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,368
No, I think
we got some time. Yeah.
134
00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,370
Why don't you show Beth
your appreciation for all her help.
135
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:05,871
Oh, no, thank you.
136
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:08,374
I don't kiss on the--
I don't kiss.
137
00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:10,876
No, it's not that.
Go on, Theo.
138
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:12,879
Uncle Jimmy, please,
don't make me do this.
139
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,881
Oh, come on, son,
you got a gift, use it.
140
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,382
Use what, sir?
141
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,384
He didn't tell you
what he does for a living?
142
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:19,385
He gives speeches
to corporations, right?
143
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:20,886
Tell her, son.
144
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:23,890
Fine. I'm a magician.
I do magic tricks--
145
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,893
stupid, dumb, moronic
magic tricks. You happy?
146
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:30,396
Oh, could I see one?
147
00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:31,897
Okay. Fine. Fine, fine.
148
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:35,901
Now, ma'am, we've never
met before, correct?
149
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:36,903
Correct.
150
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:39,405
Do you have
a $100 bill? No.
151
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:40,906
Check your bra.
152
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,408
Ohh!
153
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,410
Fine. May I
see that, please?
154
00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:45,911
Thank you very much.
155
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:46,913
Whoa!
156
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,915
Oh, where did it go?
157
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,416
What time is it,
young lady?
158
00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:52,418
I don't know.
My watch--
159
00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:53,419
It's gone.
160
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,421
I believe
this belongs to you.
161
00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:56,922
No.
162
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:57,924
I'm sorry it's wet.
163
00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:59,425
Let's dry it off
164
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:01,927
with this common
household scarf.
165
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:05,431
Now, I believe
you have something that belongs to me.
166
00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:06,932
There,
are you happy now?
167
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:17,443
Mr. James, would it be all right
if I asked Theo to lunch?
168
00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:18,944
Yeah, go for it,
go for it.
169
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,446
Let me see him.
170
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:24,950
Oh, is this bunny wunny--
you smell.
171
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:27,954
All right, dude,
this ought to do it.
172
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:28,955
You sure?
173
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:29,956
Yeah.
174
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:32,959
Just, uh, don't put
anything on it,
175
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,961
or touch it,
176
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:37,964
or go near it.
177
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,468
Dave.
178
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,470
Bill, I need your advice.
179
00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,472
As you know,
Catherine called in sick today,
180
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:47,973
and we need to figure out
181
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,976
who should fill in for her
in the booth.
182
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,978
Me. I can handle it myself.
183
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,980
No, I think
it's too much for one person.
184
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,481
I think we should
strongly consider Lisa.
185
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:59,485
CHICAGO ACCENT:
How about my friend, Eddie, from Chicago?
186
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:02,488
Eddie? Is he a real person
or a different voice?
187
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:03,489
Different voice.
188
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:04,490
Then no.
189
00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:07,493
INDIAN ACCENT:
What if Eddie were from India?
190
00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:08,494
Bill, let's consider this.
191
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,496
Both Matthew and Lisa
have their merits.
192
00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:12,498
Matthew smells
like urine today.
193
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:15,000
Then we're agreed.
It should be Lisa.
194
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,003
Lisa doesn't really
do it for me,
195
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:20,006
I mean, not like
she does it for you,
196
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,007
which, I guess, explains
197
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:24,010
why you're pushing her
for the job, huh?
198
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:26,012
Lisa has more experience
in the booth.
199
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:28,014
"More experience
in the booth."
200
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,515
I'm really not up on
sexual euphemisms,
201
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,016
but I get the gist.
202
00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:32,018
Well, thank you
203
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:33,519
for helping me
make my decision.
204
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,020
Any time.
205
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:37,023
And thanks for
including me
206
00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:39,025
in this decision-making
process.
207
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:42,028
Makes me feel good
to know
208
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,529
my opinion
is valued.
209
00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,533
Wow.
210
00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:49,535
See, it works.
211
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:50,536
Well, I'll just run
this decision
212
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,037
past the custodial staff,
213
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:54,540
then we can
get you on the air.
214
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:57,042
Well, you'll thank me later
for the harmonious energy
215
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,544
borne of my ancient wisdom.
216
00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:01,046
Okay, I just want
to go on record saying this decision
217
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:04,050
is a load of crap.
218
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,552
Look, Matthew, this was
a difficult decision,
219
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:08,554
but we all had our input--
220
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:11,056
Then why is Joe on the air?
221
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:14,060
Hmm?
222
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,062
BILL: Parks department
declined to comment, but said
223
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:19,065
the commission's findings
will be announced on Thursday.
224
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:23,069
We'll be back in 60 seconds.
WNYX news time--10:15.
225
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:25,071
What is Joe doing
in the booth?
226
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:26,072
I guess Dave told Bill
227
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,573
that he could pick
anybody he wanted to.
228
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:29,575
That's not what
you were supposed to do.
229
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,076
I didn't.
230
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:34,580
I guess some people's input
is more valuable than others'...
231
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:36,582
people's... inputs.
232
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:40,085
Bill...
233
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:44,590
What is he doing
in the booth?
234
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:47,593
So far, just the station ID
and the current time,
235
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:49,094
but he's learning fast.
236
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:50,596
What is he doing in the booth?
237
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:54,099
You said I was part of
the decision-making process.
238
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,601
This is my part.
239
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:58,103
Joe's not qualified
to be on the air. He's an electrician.
240
00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,605
So was Thomas Edison.
So what?
241
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,110
Now, you realize
Bill is doing this
242
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,611
because he's threatened by us.
243
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:08,113
Yes, he is totally
threatening us.
244
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:10,616
Threatened by us,
Matthew.
245
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:12,618
Oh, right.
246
00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:15,621
I'm sorry, Joe,
but I can't let you do this.
247
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:16,622
Okay.
248
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:17,623
Hang on there,
buddy.
249
00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:20,626
I know a diamond in the rough
when I see one.
250
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:21,627
What are you
talking about, Bill?
251
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:23,629
You can't just pluck
someone off the street
252
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:25,130
and put them
behind a microphone.
253
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,133
How do you think
Edward R. Murrow was discovered?
254
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,135
That is not how
Edward R. Murrow was discovered.
255
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:31,137
Don't try to confuse me
with the facts.
256
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:34,140
Joe, don't let this
nattering nabob of negativity
257
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,641
break your spirit.
258
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:37,643
Okay, enough fooling around.
259
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:39,645
All right.
260
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:41,647
I guess we'll have
to agree to disagree on this one.
261
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,649
Trying to reason
with savages is thirsty business.
262
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:49,154
I'm going to get
another cup of coffee.
263
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,656
Joe, I'm sorry,
I can't let you do this.
264
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:52,157
That's okay, man,
I don't care.
265
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,659
All right. Great.
266
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,160
But you got to get
somebody in here
267
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:57,163
because we're back on the air
in 15 seconds.
268
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,664
Bill just went
to the break room.
269
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,165
I can cover it.
It's no big deal.
270
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,667
Are you sure you know
what you're doing?
271
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,168
I just got one question.
272
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,671
What's this mean,
"You're listening to WYNNYX"?
273
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:07,172
That's WNYX, Joe.
274
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,174
I'm kidding. Relax.
275
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,676
All right,
good luck. No problem.
276
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:14,179
WNYX news time--10:21.
277
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:17,183
This is Joe Garelli,
filling in for Catherine Duke.
278
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,185
The stock car racing world
was shaken today
279
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,687
when NASCAR legend
Travis Sullivan announced his retirement.
280
00:10:21,687 --> 00:10:24,189
Sullivan, a three-time
Winston cup winner
281
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,192
who's been on the circuit
for 30 years
282
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:27,693
plans to spend
more time with his family.
283
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,194
In local sports,
284
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:30,696
Knicks reserve guard
Jeff Washington
285
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:32,698
goes under the knife
for a tenolysis
286
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,700
on his injured right
ring finger tendon today.
287
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,201
A tenolysis?
288
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:38,704
That sounds complicated.
What is it, Joe?
289
00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:40,205
It doesn't say here, Bill,
290
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:43,209
but I believe
it's a semi-invasive surgical procedure
291
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,711
to remove scar tissue
from the proximal and distal junctions
292
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:47,212
of a ruptured tendon.
293
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:48,214
You don't say?
294
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,216
In other local news...
295
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:53,719
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
296
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,220
What's so funny?
297
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:57,723
I just don't think
Bill was expecting that.
298
00:10:57,723 --> 00:11:01,226
Okay, you're right.
He's not working out at all.
299
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,729
Okay, do it to Bill.
300
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:05,731
Sir, we've never met before,
is that correct?
301
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,733
Who the hell are you?
Dave, I'm serious.
302
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,735
He's completely unsuitable
for broadcasting.
303
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:11,737
What are you doing--aah!
304
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,250
Where have you been?
305
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,252
I just took an
extra long lunch with Theo,
306
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,753
if you know
what I mean.
307
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:30,756
Ew, Theo?
308
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:31,757
Jealous?
309
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:33,258
Disgusted.
310
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,261
That's what I thought
at first too,
311
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,263
but once you get
to know him,
312
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:38,264
he's just so...
313
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:39,265
Disgusting.
314
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,267
He's intriguing,
know what I mean?
315
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,268
Not at all.
316
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:44,770
I'm having trouble putting
my finger on it too.
317
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,271
It's like he's so...
318
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:47,273
Disgusting.
319
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:48,274
Unpredictable.
320
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:50,276
He's mysterious,
he's full of surprises.
321
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:51,277
Oh, no.
322
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:52,278
What?
323
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:54,280
It's the magic tricks,
isn't it?
324
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,282
No.
Yes, it is.
325
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:59,285
You like a guy because
he can do magic tricks.
326
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,286
No.
327
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:01,787
Yes!
328
00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:04,289
If he could juggle,
you'd be pregnant by now.
329
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:08,294
He's so cute.
Look what he gave me.
330
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,795
A quarter.
331
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:12,297
But he pulled it
out of my mouth...
332
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,799
using his tongue.
333
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:15,801
Beth!
334
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,302
Listen, can you
watch the phones
335
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,804
a little while longer?
336
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:21,807
Theo and I are going
to take a walk in the park.
337
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:24,309
Beth?
338
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,812
You forgot
your magic mouth coin.
339
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,313
Magic mouth coin?
Give it up.
340
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:35,320
Cool. What does it do?
341
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,825
Dave?
342
00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:43,829
I just wanted
to apologize to you.
343
00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:45,330
I shouldn't have put
Joe in the booth.
344
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:48,334
No need to apologize.
Joe's doing great.
345
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,835
I know, but I overstepped
my boundaries.
346
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:51,837
I just thought
I'd let you guys know
347
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:55,340
we've gotten life 50 calls
in the past hour for Joe.
348
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:56,842
People love him!
349
00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:58,844
Hey, that's great!
350
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,846
So why did you pick Joe?
351
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:02,347
Oh, I've always
thought of myself
352
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:03,849
as something of a mentor
353
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,851
to our lower-level employees.
354
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:07,853
Bill, when you get
back to the booth,
355
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:09,855
could you tell Joe
that Cindy from the Bronx
356
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:12,858
thinks he's "All that
and a bag of chips"?
357
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,860
I'll pass that along.
358
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,862
Oh, could you
also tell him--
359
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:21,867
Thanks, Lisa.
Thank you.
360
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:22,868
Fine.
361
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:26,371
I put Joe on the air because
I didn't want anyone any better
362
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,374
to get that much air time.
363
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,876
I thought Joe
would make me look good.
364
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,377
Well, it looks like
365
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:35,381
you've been hoisted
on your own petard.
366
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,383
Look, he can be slow-witted,
367
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:41,387
but there's no need
for name-calling.
368
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:42,388
At any rate,
369
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:43,889
I've learned
a valuable lesson.
370
00:13:43,889 --> 00:13:46,391
Good.
And I apologize.
371
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,394
Now get him
off the air.
372
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:49,895
No.
Why not?
373
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:51,396
Because he's good,
and we're not going
374
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:53,399
to change anchors
three times in one day
375
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,401
just to accommodate
your personal whims.
376
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:56,902
Okay.
377
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:59,404
A cold front is expected
to reach the city by morning,
378
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,407
with temperatures
dropping to the low 20s.
379
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,409
I hate to put you
on the spot,
380
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:05,411
but what's causing
that cold front, Joseph?
381
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:07,413
Well, if it's anything
like most cold fronts,
382
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,415
a low pressure system
sitting off the coast
383
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:10,416
is causing cold air
384
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:12,418
to move down
from Western Canada.
385
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,920
Uh, that's very interesting.
386
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,423
Well, what's new
in Washington, Joe?
387
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,427
I can't seem to locate
my news report here,
388
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:22,928
but if memory serves correct,
389
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:25,430
the story was--
on Capitol Hill today,
390
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:26,932
Senator Patrick
Moynihan's plans
391
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:30,435
for a new, federally
funded Penn station died in committee today.
392
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:32,938
The bill would have
moved the train station
393
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,940
across the street
to the historic post office building.
394
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,441
WNYX news time, 12:21.
395
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:37,443
Thanks, Joe.
396
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:38,444
By the way,
what's so historic
397
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:40,446
about the post office building?
398
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:42,948
Built in 1908,
the post office building was designed
399
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,950
by the firm
of McKim, Meade, and White,
400
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:47,953
an early proponent
of interchangeable, machine-made girders.
401
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:49,955
Thanks, Joe.
402
00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:52,457
Those two weeks in New York City
tour guide school
403
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,959
paid off after all, hey, Bill?
404
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:55,460
In the national news,
405
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:57,463
the congress
is deadlocked once again
406
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,465
on the issue
of farm subsidies.
407
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,467
Department of agriculture
official will meet next week--
408
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,469
What's up, dude?
409
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:04,970
What's going on?
410
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,972
I am fixing my computer.
411
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:12,477
Good. Good, good, good.
412
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,480
Found the problem.
413
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,982
Look, I figure
if you can do my job,
414
00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:18,483
I can certainly
do yours, Joseph.
415
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,985
Cool. Have fun.
416
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,987
How do you like
my fake radio voice?
417
00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:24,489
Really wasn't listening.
418
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:27,493
Want me to give you
a hand with that when I get off the air?
419
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:28,494
Joe, really--
seriously, just--
420
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:30,496
I think I can handle it.
421
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,998
You know that there's
capacitors in there? You know about that?
422
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:35,500
Yes, I know there's
capacitors in there.
423
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:41,006
And you know that
capacitors store energy?
424
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:45,010
How about that, big guy?
All right. Take it easy.
425
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:47,012
Are you feeling all right?
You look a little pale.
426
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:48,513
Oh, no, I'm fine.
427
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:50,516
I've probably had
just a little too much excitement.
428
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,017
Want some water?
429
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,018
Yeah. You know what?
430
00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:54,019
They have the best water
431
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,520
in the accounting firm
on the third floor.
432
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:56,522
Don't ask me why.
433
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,023
Okay, so I'll just
get you some water.
434
00:15:58,023 --> 00:15:59,524
Okay. Thanks.
435
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:05,030
What's wrong?
436
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,531
Don't make me say it.
437
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:08,033
Say what?
438
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:10,535
Okay. Fine.
439
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:12,538
The magic is gone.
440
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,540
What happened?
441
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,041
Oh, I kept bugging him
442
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:18,543
to tell me how
he did his tricks.
443
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:20,045
And then finally--
hang on a second,
444
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:21,046
I'll show you.
445
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:23,048
Okay. You see
this quarter?
446
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:24,049
Ta-dah.
447
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:25,550
Hey, very impressive.
448
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,052
That's what I thought
at first too, until I realized
449
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:29,054
he keeps the quarter
in the other hand.
450
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:30,555
It's totally bogus.
451
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:34,559
Oh. Well, what did
you think?
452
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,562
Oh, Beth.
453
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:38,063
You didn't
actually think
454
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:40,565
that the quarter
disappeared, did you?
455
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:44,570
It could happen.
456
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:47,072
Maybe not. But it was
really beautiful
457
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,573
while the fantasy
was alive.
458
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,576
You know, it's like
how you believe
459
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:51,577
that Dave is "sexy."
460
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:56,081
Dave is sexy.
461
00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:59,084
Oh, yeah. I know. He is.
462
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:00,585
You know,
463
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,588
Theo makes me think
he's doing one thing,
464
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,089
and he's really
doing another.
465
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,590
He's just like
every other guy
466
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:07,092
I've been out with,
except he uses props.
467
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:10,095
Dave is sexy.
468
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:11,596
I know.
469
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,599
He is hot.
470
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,601
Anyways, I don't know
what to do.
471
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:18,103
I've been down this road
too many times.
472
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,105
You've been down
every road too many times.
473
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:21,106
I hear you.
474
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:22,607
Here you go.
475
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:24,109
Theo, that's empty.
476
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:35,120
Oh. That's wonderful.
Thank you.
477
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:38,123
And that's today's
McNeal Perspective.
478
00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:39,124
Thanks, Bill,
479
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:40,625
for that fascinating
perspective.
480
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,628
Of course,
I should point out
481
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,630
that the balanced budget
amendment does not, as you say--
482
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,131
Oh, my gosh,
a late-breaking news item.
483
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,133
Why don't you
take this one, Joe?
484
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,634
Okay. Yes, Bill.
485
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,136
In Albany today,
486
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:53,638
former governor Mario Cuomo
was quoted as saying,
487
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:56,642
"The sixth sheik's
sixth sheep is schick--"
488
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,645
Ladies and gentlemen,
I am very sorry for that.
489
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:01,647
We're obviously having
some technical problems here.
490
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,148
We will return
just as soon as
491
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:06,651
we are able to get
everything organized.
492
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,153
Please do not panic.
493
00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:10,655
Not good, Joe.
Not good at all.
494
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:13,659
It was
a tongue twister, dude.
495
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,161
I'm sure Cuomo
had a hard time
496
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:18,163
doing that one
the first time.
497
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:21,166
Look, I was hoping against hope
that this would work out,
498
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,168
but I'm afraid
your broadcasting days are over.
499
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,171
Okay.
500
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:29,174
Want some help
with that now or what?
501
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:30,175
Bill?
502
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:33,178
I thought you were going
to be adult about this.
503
00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:34,679
I'm not the one
504
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,181
who mispronounced
a common nursery rhyme.
505
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:38,683
Regardless,
Joe's going back on the air.
506
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:41,186
Come on. Joe's good,
but he's not that good.
507
00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:43,188
What about
all those phone calls?
508
00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:44,189
I made those up.
509
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,191
Why on earth would you do
something like that?
510
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:47,192
To drive you crazy.
511
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:48,193
Well, it didn't work!
512
00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:50,695
Don't yell at me
because Joe's not
513
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,197
the illiterate boob
you thought he was.
514
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:54,199
All right.
Everyone, settle down.
515
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:55,700
You thought I was
an illiterate boob?
516
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,202
Lisa's words, not mine.
517
00:18:57,202 --> 00:19:00,205
He also said he could
kick your ass one-handed.
518
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:02,207
Now, that's just a lie!
519
00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:03,708
You say that, man?
520
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,211
Come on, Joe,
it's me!
521
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:07,712
Can I say something right here?
522
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,214
"Six sheep, six sheep,
six sheep."
523
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:10,715
There. Now can I
go on the air?
524
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:12,718
All right, now everyone,
just settle down, all right?
525
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:14,219
The next person who speaks
is fired.
526
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:16,221
What?
527
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:17,722
DAVE: Enough.
528
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:20,225
How about
if I just go back on the air?
529
00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:21,226
I said, enough!
530
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:28,734
I--I thought you were sick?
531
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,736
Must've been
one of those four-hour bugs.
532
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:32,738
I feel fine now.
533
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:34,239
Are you sure?
534
00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:35,240
Good as new.
535
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,242
All right, well,
good to have you back.
536
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:39,244
Thanks.
537
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:42,747
[COUGHING]
538
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:44,249
You don't look so good.
539
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:47,252
I'm running 104 fever
and my head is pounding,
540
00:19:47,252 --> 00:19:50,255
but I'll be damned
if I'm going to lie in bed
541
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:52,757
and listen to
an electrician do my job.
542
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,760
Disgusting, wasn't it?
543
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,262
You can say that again.
544
00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:59,264
Especially since he was...
545
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:00,265
So good.
546
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,267
Yeah.
547
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:04,769
Well, how was I
supposed to know?
548
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:07,773
I really don't think
it's going to work out.
549
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:08,774
I'm sorry.
550
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:10,275
Why not?
551
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,777
Um, you know, I don't
know how to say this.
552
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,279
It's not that--
553
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:15,780
It's not that
I don't love you,
554
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,282
I'm just not
in love with you.
555
00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:19,284
But we made out.
556
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:21,286
I know. I know,
but sometimes
557
00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:22,787
after two people
make out,
558
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:24,790
they--they grow apart.
559
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,291
I'm weird. Admit it.
560
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:27,792
You think I'm weird.
561
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:29,294
You're not weird.
562
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:30,795
You're a wonderful person.
563
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,297
Really?
564
00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:34,299
Can I just...
565
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,807
[PRESSING BUTTON]
566
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:42,808
Beth?
567
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:44,309
Yeah? Yeah?
568
00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:47,812
I'd just like
to give you this.
569
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:49,815
Oh, thank you.
That's a pretty scarf.
570
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:52,818
Oh, look.
There's a whole--
571
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:53,819
whole bunch.
572
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:57,322
Hey. That's great.
Oh. Something--
573
00:20:57,322 --> 00:20:58,823
I'm sorry.
574
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:02,828
I'm so sorry.
Have a good day, huh?
575
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,331
THEO: Hey!
576
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:09,334
Oh, sorry.
577
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:11,336
Hey, Beth.
578
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:12,837
Hey, Mr. James.
579
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:14,840
So, how are you
and Theo doing?
580
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,341
Fine. Fine.
581
00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:17,842
You didn't dump him yet?
582
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:19,344
Just this second, sir.
583
00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:21,346
Good. Good. I was starting
to worry about you.
584
00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:25,851
So, what the hell was Joe
doing on the air today?
585
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:27,853
I don't have the specifics
on that one, sir,
586
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:29,354
but I thought
he was good.
587
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:30,855
Yeah. Yeah, he was good,
588
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,357
but next time
we need a replacement,
589
00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:33,358
why don't we use
590
00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:35,360
Bill's friend Eddie
from Chicago?
591
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,362
He gave me a call today.
He was really charming.
592
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:38,363
Uh-huh.
593
00:21:39,364 --> 00:21:40,365
Aah!
594
00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:46,871
Okay, I have no idea
how you did that,
595
00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:48,874
but really--no.
596
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:53,378
But we made out.
597
00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:54,879
Let her go, son.
598
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,882
It's Chinatown.
599
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:59,384
But that really was
an amazing trick you did.
600
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:01,386
Think that's
an amazing trick?
601
00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:02,387
Watch this.
602
00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:04,389
Dave?
603
00:22:12,397 --> 00:22:15,900
[♪]
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