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1
00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:05,071
As the presidential campaign
heats up,
2
00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:06,572
Lisa will be coordinating
all of our coverage.
3
00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:08,074
Mm-hmm, and I'll have
a tentative schedule
4
00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:09,575
written up for everyone
by the end of today.
5
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:10,577
Commissioner Bratton
pretaped an interview.
6
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,078
You'll be in charge
of editing that as well.
7
00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:13,579
Got it.
Okay, great.
8
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:15,081
And possible
garbage-workers strike coming up.
9
00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:16,082
That could be a big story.
10
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,084
I'm on top of that.
11
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:20,086
And the New Hampshire primary.
We'll need a reporter up there.
12
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,588
I wonder who that will be.
13
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,090
I'm sure
Dave will pick
14
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:26,092
the reporter
who'll do the best job...
15
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:27,093
Thank you, Bill.
16
00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:28,094
In the sack with him.
17
00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:31,597
Knock it off, guys.
18
00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:34,100
There's absolutely
no favoritism at play here.
19
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:35,601
Then obviously
there's something
20
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,103
she's not doing right.
21
00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:39,105
No. She does everything
just fine, thank you,
22
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:40,606
although that's not the point.
23
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:42,609
That's not the point at all.
24
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:44,611
Especially because Matthew
will be covering New Hampshire.
25
00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:46,613
[NO AUDIO]
26
00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,114
[NO AUDIO]
27
00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:50,616
Two words,
sounds like...
28
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,118
Oh, I give up.
29
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,619
Can't we just
play Pictionary?
30
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,121
Can we, Dave?
31
00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:56,122
Moving along,
32
00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:57,623
a reporter from
The Wall Street Journal
33
00:00:57,624 --> 00:01:00,126
will be here today
doing a story on Bill.
34
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,627
Whatever for?
35
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,630
Just a little piece
on how radio news
36
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:06,132
is the last bastion
of sophistication
37
00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:07,633
in modern broadcasting.
38
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:08,635
Ha-ha!
39
00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:15,642
I tried to blow a bubble
inside of a bubble
40
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,143
and almost
swallowed my tongue.
41
00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:18,144
I think I'm gonna puke.
42
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,649
Which brings me
to my next point.
43
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:26,653
Let's please be on our
best behavior today, people.
44
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:28,154
Okay, Bill.
45
00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:30,156
I'd like this article
to reflect
46
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:31,157
that we are the heirs
47
00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:33,659
to Edward R. Murrow's
great legacy,
48
00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,662
not the morning zoo
on K-CRAP
49
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,163
with Boogerman
and the gang.
50
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:40,166
Who's Edward Armurrow?
51
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:41,667
Well, I'm done here.
52
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:43,169
Anyone else have anything
they want to bring up?
53
00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:44,670
Oh, um, I do.
54
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:47,173
Sorry to spring this
on everyone so suddenly,
55
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:49,175
but this is my last day.
56
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:51,177
Oh.
57
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,678
I got a really great offer
58
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,180
from an FM station
in Connecticut.
59
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:57,183
So... what can I say?
I'm going to miss you guys.
60
00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:59,685
I think I speak for everyone
when I say you shall be missed.
61
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,688
Oh, thanks, Bill.
62
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:04,190
Your warmth, your humor,
and your professionalism
63
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,192
have made all of our loads
a little lighter
64
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,193
from time to time,
65
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:09,195
and, well, good luck
to you, my friend.
66
00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:10,196
Thanks, Bill.
67
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:11,697
Well, goodbye,
everyone.
68
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:12,699
Bye.
So long, now.
69
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,708
Who the hell was that?
70
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:26,212
I have no idea.
71
00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:28,214
Sorry, everybody.
Sorry I'm late.
72
00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:29,715
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
73
00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:31,718
Ohh!
74
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,722
[♪]
75
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,255
I thought we agreed
76
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:10,756
that I was going
to New Hampshire to cover--
77
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,759
I know you were kind of
expecting that assignment.
78
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:16,262
I was expecting it?
You bought me mittens.
79
00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:17,263
You heard them out there.
80
00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,764
I can't have people
81
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,266
thinking I make decisions
based on favoritism.
82
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:21,767
I deserve this
more than Matthew.
83
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,269
Look, I am not going
to be harangued
84
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:25,271
into rescinding
this directive, all right?
85
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:27,773
But you can
keep the mittens.
86
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,776
Well, thank you.
87
00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:32,779
Now when I strangle you,
I won't leave any prints.
88
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:37,784
She's really mad, isn't she?
89
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,786
What have I told you
about eavesdropping?
90
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:40,787
I wasn't eavesdropping, Dave.
91
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,789
She kicked a chair
when she walked out, okay?
92
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:43,790
Geez, give me some credit.
93
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,792
All right,
I'm sorry.
94
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,794
Listen, can I have the mittens
if Lisa doesn't want them?
95
00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:50,796
Yes, no... maybe?
Sure.
96
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:54,801
You know that guy
that quit this morning?
97
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,302
Uh... no, do you?
98
00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:57,803
No. All right.
99
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,806
You remember the guy
who quit this morning?
100
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,307
Well, there's not much
to remember about him, Dave,
101
00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:03,309
considering
I didn't even know him.
102
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:04,810
You know his desk?
103
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,814
I don't know him.
How will I know his desk?
104
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,816
Okay. The guy who quit
this morning,
105
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:14,320
his desk needs
to be cleaned out by you for me.
106
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:18,824
Speak not to me
as if a child I am, okay, Yoda?
107
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,328
Bill, Bill, check it out!
Check it out!
108
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:23,829
Jimmy, this is
Scott Barker
109
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:26,332
from TheWall Street Journal.
110
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:27,333
No comment.
111
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,334
Bill, you got
a second?
112
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:29,835
Actually, which way
is the men's room?
113
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,838
Hey, what did I say?
No comment!
114
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,840
Right down that way.
115
00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:38,845
Okay, ready to get
your mind blown?
116
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,847
Dave! Dave, come here.
117
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:41,848
Hey, Cathy!
118
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:42,849
Hey, Jimmy.
119
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,350
Sweetheart,
could you help me?
120
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,852
Dave just asked a question.
Kind of stumped us all,
121
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:50,356
and I was wondering
if you could help us out.
122
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:51,357
Sure, sweetie.
What is it?
123
00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:52,858
Good, good.
124
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:55,361
We were wondering what
the Pacific ocean was made of.
125
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:56,362
Well...
126
00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:59,865
Water.
127
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,367
April fool!
128
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:02,368
Ha-ha!
129
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,874
I've never been
so completely and totally--
130
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,376
There's a brand-new outfit
131
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:13,379
waiting for you
in the ladies' room.
132
00:05:15,381 --> 00:05:16,382
Versace?
133
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:17,883
Ungaro.
134
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:18,885
We'll talk later.
135
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:22,388
Man, oh, Manischewitz,
do I love April Fools' Day!
136
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:24,390
Ha ha ha!
137
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,392
Correct me
if I'm wrong, sir,
138
00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:28,394
but isn't it
February?
139
00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:29,895
Yeah, yeah, but
if I waited till April,
140
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:31,898
I'd lose the element
of surprise.
141
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,399
Man, that was great.
142
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:35,901
It was just like that kid show
on Nickelodeon.
143
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,404
What show, Matthew?
144
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:40,406
Show where when every time
somebody says "water,"
145
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:41,907
water comes down on them.
146
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,409
I thought that was
green slime.
147
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:44,910
Dave, Dave, Dave,
148
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:48,414
you only got the green slime
if you said, "I don't know."
149
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:49,915
If you say what?
150
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:51,417
I don't know.
151
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,423
April fool!
152
00:05:57,423 --> 00:05:59,925
Man, ain't that
a kick in the butt?
153
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,928
Ha ha ha!
154
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:05,431
Jimmy, this is a bad day
for April Fools.
155
00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:06,932
Why's that, Bill?
156
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,434
That's because of
the reporter.
157
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:10,436
I don't want him to get
the wrong impression.
158
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:11,937
Oh, that's right.
I forgot about that.
159
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,940
If you could postpone
this for a few days,
160
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:14,941
it'd mean something to me.
161
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,442
Sure, Bill, I gotcha, I gotcha.
162
00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:19,445
I'll postpone it
to a more propitious time.
163
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:20,946
Thank you.
That's great.
164
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,949
I'm lying. April fool!
165
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:23,950
I got you!
166
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:27,954
Ooh, Lord, do I love
that crazy, mixed-up day!
167
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,956
Welcome, my friends,
to the show that never ends.
168
00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:33,959
That was
our station owner.
169
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,462
Very committed
to broadcasting excellence.
170
00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:37,463
Good man.
171
00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:39,465
You think I could get
a few words with him?
172
00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:40,466
That wouldn't
be possible.
173
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:41,967
He has
Tourette's syndrome--
174
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,970
constant barrage
of obscenities.
175
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:44,971
Anyhoo...
176
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,472
Before we get started,
I'm a little thirsty.
177
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:49,975
Is there some place I could
get a drink of water?
178
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:50,476
Right this way.
179
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:54,980
Finish cleaning out
that guy's desk yet?
180
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,983
That guy's name
happens to be Brian, okay?
181
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:59,485
So just lay off him.
182
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:00,986
Did I miss something?
183
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,488
Yes, you did, Dave.
184
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:04,990
I found this
in his desk.
185
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:07,493
Oh, and this is...
186
00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:08,494
It's a rose.
187
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:11,497
Technically,
I think it's just a stem.
188
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:13,499
There's a card too. Look.
189
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:15,000
Uh-huh. Let me see that.
190
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,502
"For Beth.
191
00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:18,504
"I hope I get the courage
to give this to you.
192
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:20,506
"Love, Brian.
193
00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:23,509
P.S. If I did give this to you,
disregard above."
194
00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:25,010
He worked here for years
195
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:28,014
and never got the courage up
to speak to me.
196
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,016
Aw, that's...
that's kind of creepy, actually.
197
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,018
You know what,
I thought it was creepy too,
198
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:33,019
until I found this.
199
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,520
He had a copy
of my favorite book
200
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,522
in the top drawer
of his desk,
201
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:39,024
and the passages
that he underlined are my favorite parts.
202
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,027
Mm-hmm.
203
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,029
The Firm?
204
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:45,031
It's better
than the movie.
205
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:47,033
It'd have to be,
wouldn't it?
206
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:51,037
Dave, please explain these.
207
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,538
Are they yours?
208
00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:54,039
No.
209
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,541
Oh, my God.
You've got me convinced.
210
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,543
Dave, they were obviously
meant to be a gift for me.
211
00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,044
Could you please look up
Brian's number?
212
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:01,047
You're actually
going to call this guy?
213
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,049
It's not like I have
a choice, Dave. It's destiny.
214
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:05,051
I'll get you the number
when I have a chance,
215
00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,053
but before you start
picking out baby names,
216
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,554
have you thought
that just maybe
217
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:11,056
this might be
one of Mr. James'
218
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,558
February/April Fools'
pranks?
219
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:14,059
Oh, my God.
220
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,561
Ohh...
221
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:17,563
And I thought...
222
00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:20,065
what a cruel--
wait a minute.
223
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:21,067
But then again...
224
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:24,070
I sense you have mixed emotions
about this.
225
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,072
What makes you think that--
226
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:29,075
Okay. Wait a second. I get it.
227
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:30,076
You...
228
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,077
Yeah, I guess you're right.
229
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:37,583
Mr. James, did you put this
in that guy's desk
230
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:40,085
to make me think
he had a crush on me?
231
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:43,089
No, I did not put an old stick
or anything else in your desk
232
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:45,091
to make you think anything.
233
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:46,092
Do you swear it?
I swear.
234
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,093
You swear on
your tax returns?
235
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:51,097
Pick something else.
236
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:52,098
Do you swear on your list
237
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,600
of 21 potential
wife candidates?
238
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,602
It's down to 20,
now that I've found out
239
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,604
that sweet girl
from Saved By the Bell,
240
00:08:58,604 --> 00:08:59,605
she did a dirty movie.
241
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:06,612
Okay, well, then
do you swear on that?
242
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:08,614
Yeah. I'll tell you what,
243
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:09,615
I'll go you one better.
244
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:10,616
I swear on my vow
245
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:12,618
never to buy a company
with my own money, how's that?
246
00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:15,621
Okay. Thank you
very much, Mr. James.
247
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:20,626
Uh, Joseph. Joe.
248
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:22,127
What's up?
249
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,629
I wanted to ask you
250
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:26,632
if you might enjoy
a salted nut.
251
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:29,635
Trying to get on
the April Fools' action?
252
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:30,636
I open it,
253
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:32,638
snake flies out,
pops me in the head?
254
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:35,140
No. Nuts.
They're nuts. They...
255
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:38,644
Okay. Yeah.
How'd you know?
256
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,145
Just good guess.
You ought to be careful.
257
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,148
Sometimes they mess up
and put real can of nuts,
258
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:43,149
you know,
in with the joke can.
259
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,151
No, really?
260
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,652
Yeah. It happens.
Man, you got to double-check.
261
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:48,654
I always check myself.
262
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:49,154
Yeah...
263
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:55,661
Cool. I got
one of the good ones.
264
00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:00,166
Dave, it doesn't matter
what people think.
265
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,167
Well, it does to me.
266
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,668
I think that's part
of being a good manager.
267
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:04,670
What if everybody
thought you should jump off a bridge,
268
00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:06,171
would you do that?
269
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,174
If everyone around here thought
I should jump off a bridge,
270
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:09,675
they'd get together
and push me.
271
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:10,676
You do remember
272
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:13,178
that we're talking
about Matthew here.
273
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:14,680
Now, that is unfair.
274
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,683
Matthew is
perfectly competent to do the job.
275
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:20,686
Oh! So now Matthew is
more competent than I am?
276
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:22,688
I didn't say he was
more competent.
277
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:23,689
I think his talents
and abilities
278
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:25,190
have been undervalued,
279
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,192
and I think it's time
280
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:29,695
he had a chance to prove
himself around here.
281
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:33,198
Did you see that thing
hit me right in the face?
282
00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:38,704
What an idiot.
Did you see that?
283
00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:41,707
At any rate, I didn't say
"more competent."
284
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,208
What?
285
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,710
I'll never forget
what Dan Rather
286
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:46,712
once told me.
287
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,714
He said,
"Bill, would you--"
288
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,215
Hey, Bill, I thought
you might care
289
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:53,219
for a salted nut.
290
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:56,222
No, thank you, Matthew.
291
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:59,225
How about you, dear sir?
Salted nut?
292
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,227
Don't mind if I do.
293
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,234
I'm terribly sorry.
294
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:11,237
My father--
rest his soul--
295
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,239
died of a...
296
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:16,742
nut overdose.
297
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:18,243
I'm sorry.
298
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:21,747
Don't be. He knew
what he was getting into
299
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:22,748
Anyway, where was I?
300
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:25,250
Oh, Dan Rather
once told me,
301
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:27,253
"Bill, we're journalists..."
302
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:30,255
Ohh!
303
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,261
Look, Beth, just because
304
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:36,762
the weird guy
had a crush on you,
305
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:37,763
he's still weird.
306
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:39,264
You don't understand.
307
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:40,266
I think we were meant
for each other.
308
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:43,769
You never even met the freak.
309
00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:47,272
What about this?
310
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:50,276
A ticket stub
from Hard to Kill?
311
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:53,779
We both went through
our Steven Seagal phases at the exact same time.
312
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:55,280
Steven Seagal!
313
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:59,785
That fat fraud's a disgrace
to the martial arts.
314
00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:01,286
We know that now,
315
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:04,290
back then,
we were just crazy kids.
316
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:06,792
Honey, he may not be
as perfect as you imagine.
317
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,293
You know what?
318
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:11,297
You don't know him
like I do, all right?
319
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,799
Look what I found in
the bottom drawer of his desk.
320
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:14,800
Cigarettes.
321
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:15,801
You don't smoke.
Beth...
322
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:18,804
I know. I was pretty mad
at him for a while too,
323
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,806
but then I found this.
324
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:21,807
Gum.
325
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,809
He's trying to quit...
326
00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:24,810
For me.
327
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,812
Beth, honey, why don't you
pack a few things,
328
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:29,815
and I'll walk you
to Bellevue after work?
329
00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:32,818
Why are you trying
to tear us apart?
330
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:33,819
The guy's a freak
331
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:36,321
just for keeping
so much crap in his desk.
332
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:37,323
I know, I know.
333
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:40,326
I've got to talk to him
about being neater, and I will.
334
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,328
But you know what?
335
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:45,831
I'm sloppy too.
336
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:50,335
Two sloppy peas in a pod.
337
00:12:57,843 --> 00:12:59,845
Do you have a minute?
338
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:03,348
Okay, we can settle this
New Hampshire thing right now.
339
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:04,350
Matthew!
340
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:06,352
Fairly and objectively.
341
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:09,855
Look, if you're hungry,
I have to be honest with you,
342
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:14,359
there's no nuts in here.
It's a joke can.
343
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:17,362
Okay, I have asked
Catherine
344
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,365
to write out some questions
about New Hampshire,
345
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,367
and I'm presenting them to you
in this sealed envelope.
346
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,868
Oh, this is--
347
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:25,370
Oh, and we're going to play
a little game show thing.
348
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,373
That's cool.
All right.
349
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:28,874
Well, then...
350
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:31,877
Lisa, I understand
you're a newswoman from New York
351
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:34,379
whose interests
include woodworking and jazzercise.
352
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,382
Okay, okay, okay.
Really?
353
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:37,383
All right.
354
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:40,386
Name the top six
Republican candidates.
355
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:41,887
Bob Dole,
Pat Buchanan--
356
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:43,388
[IMITATES BUZZER]
357
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:48,394
Sorry. Matthew
did buzz in first.
358
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:52,398
Bob, Pat, Steve, Lamar,
Phil, and Dick, David.
359
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,900
Correct. I assume
we can take first names,
360
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:57,903
so Matthew pulls out
to an early lead.
361
00:13:57,903 --> 00:13:59,404
All right.
Now, next question--
362
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:02,408
which candidate was endorsed
by the Manchester Union Leader?
363
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:03,909
Pat Buchanan.
364
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,911
An editorial written by whom?
365
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:08,413
What kind of
question is that?
366
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:09,415
[IMITATES BUZZER]
367
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:10,416
Yes, Matthew?
368
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:13,419
That'd be Nackey Loeb,
the editor of the paper.
369
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:15,421
Correct.
370
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:16,922
Matthew increases
his lead.
371
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:19,424
Lisa, what is Dole's lead
over Steve Forbes
372
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,926
in the latest poll?
373
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:22,427
35% to 20%.
374
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,429
[IMITATES BUZZER]
375
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:24,930
David, I'd like
to challenge.
376
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:25,931
Oh, for God's sakes! What?
377
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,432
Go ahead.
378
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,935
Well, she's talking
about the most recent Gallup poll,
379
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:34,940
but Dartmouth College
did a poll for WMUR-TV Concord yesterday
380
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,942
that came back 37 to 19.
381
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,443
Yes, well, I'm sure
382
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:40,946
the question is referring
to the Gallup poll, Matthew.
383
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:41,947
Judges?
384
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,949
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
385
00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:45,951
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
386
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:48,954
Ooh, sorry. Dartmouth.
We were looking for Dartmouth.
387
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:50,956
Dartmouth!
388
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:52,457
Catherine fed you
these questions, didn't she?
389
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,959
No.
390
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:55,961
Well, how do you know
so much about New Hampshire?
391
00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:58,964
It just so happens
I have a lot of relatives who live there,
392
00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:00,966
and they're always
calling me to talk
393
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:03,969
because they're shut-ins.
394
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:05,971
Final question.
395
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:09,474
What is
the Concord Coalition?
396
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:12,478
It's a coalition...
397
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:13,979
of voters...
398
00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:18,984
[IMITATING CLOCK TICKING]
399
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:20,485
In Concord.
400
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:21,987
I don't know.
Ask Herb Stempel here.
401
00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:23,488
[IMITATES BUZZER]
402
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:24,990
Matthew.
403
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:27,492
It's the antideficit group
404
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:30,496
that criticized Dole
for supporting tax cuts
405
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:33,999
and not having
a clear position on social security.
406
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:35,000
He's cheating!
407
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,002
He is. I know--
I don't know how--
408
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:39,004
In some kind of freaky,
Matthewesque way, you're doing it--
409
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:40,505
but he's cheating.
410
00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:41,507
I am not.
411
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,509
Screw this!
412
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:47,012
Well, looks like
you win, Matthew.
413
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:48,013
Oh, great.
414
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:49,514
What do I get?
415
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:52,017
Well, you get to go
to New Hampshire to cover the primary.
416
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,018
Congratulations.
417
00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:56,021
Why are you
doing that? What?
418
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:59,024
David, I have two cats.
419
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:01,526
So? It's just for a few days.
420
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,028
Try telling them that.
421
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:06,531
I don't even like
to go below 14th street.
422
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:10,035
Seriously, they'd kill me.
423
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:12,037
You're telling me you don't want
to go to New Hampshire
424
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:13,038
to cover the Primary
425
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:14,539
because your cats
will kill you?
426
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:15,541
It's called
responsibility, David.
427
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:16,542
Wake up and sniff it.
428
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:24,549
Brian, Brian,
Brian, Brian, Brian...
429
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:27,052
Hey, Beth,
how's it going?
430
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:29,054
Oh, it's amazing. Why?
431
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:30,055
Oh, I don't know.
432
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:31,056
It seems like, you know,
433
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:32,557
five hours to
dump crap into a box
434
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:34,560
is a long time.
435
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,061
It's not that simple, Dave.
436
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:37,562
No?
437
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:40,566
Brian and I have been having
some problems.
438
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:43,068
Oh, I'm sorry, Beth.
439
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:44,569
I had no idea--
440
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:46,572
Oh, for crying out loud!
441
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:51,577
Oh, God. Everything was going
so well until I found this.
442
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:54,079
I think he's seeing
another woman.
443
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:56,081
Are you sure
that's him?
444
00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:57,582
I think so.
445
00:16:57,583 --> 00:17:00,085
I mean, I don't remember
exactly what he looks like,
446
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:01,586
but there's something
about that face
447
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,088
that's ringing
a bell with me.
448
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:07,092
I hope you let Brian
and his desk down easily.
449
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:09,594
I'm not letting him
down at all, no, sirree,
450
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:11,096
because then
I discovered this.
451
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,097
What?
452
00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:13,598
Well, it's torn.
453
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:16,101
"Ticketron presents...
454
00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:18,103
David B..."
455
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,105
I figure it's either
David Byrne or David Bowie.
456
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:21,106
Either one would be fine.
457
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:24,109
You see?
He's cool. He's cool.
458
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,610
Dave, did you find
Brian's number yet?
459
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,112
No, I'll get it
as soon as I can.
460
00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:29,114
Now, would you
dump this crap in a box
461
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:30,615
and get back to work.
462
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:33,619
Mr. And Mrs. Brian...
463
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,125
By the way, you'll be
happy to hear
464
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,627
that you'll be going
to New Hampshire after all.
465
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,630
How come Matthew's not going?
466
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,132
Well, apparently,
if he's away from home for more than 30 minutes,
467
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,634
his cats start
plotting against him.
468
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:54,640
Oh. And people say
you're whipped.
469
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,642
Yes, they do.
470
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,644
Now, I'm going to have
Beth book the tickets
471
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,646
to Concord for you tomorrow.
472
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,649
And please give
Bob Dole my regards.
473
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:04,650
I will.
474
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:07,152
Lisa's going
to new Hampshire, huh?
475
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:08,653
Yes.
476
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,656
She must've really
sexed you up
477
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:13,659
during your lunch break.
478
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:15,661
No, no, no, Catherine.
479
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:18,163
Dave was going
to send Matthew,
480
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:22,167
but Matthew can't go
because of his...cats.
481
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,168
His cats.
482
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:25,170
Actually, it was
the sexing up at lunch
483
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:27,172
that did it.
484
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:30,175
That was
a grade-A love him up.
485
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:31,676
You should be proud.
486
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:34,179
This is a situation I do not
want to hear details.
487
00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:36,181
She does this thing...
488
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:39,184
Tell her that is
not what happened.
489
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,685
What difference
does it make,
490
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:43,689
so long as I keep getting
that good loving?
491
00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:50,695
Radio broadcasting
has taught me
492
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,698
many a life lesson.
493
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:54,199
Perhaps one day,
494
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:56,701
I'll publish these musings
under the title
495
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:58,203
"A Journalist's Credo."
496
00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:02,707
I'm sure it'll make for
some fascinating reading.
497
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:03,709
[GRUNTING]
498
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:08,714
Delivery man.
499
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:10,716
Best meatball sandwich
there is.
500
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:12,217
You know,
if I didn't know any better,
501
00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:13,218
I'd swear there's been
502
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:14,719
some kind of prank war
going on here.
503
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,221
Really?
504
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:18,723
Perhaps you're not used
to the explosive atmosphere
505
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:20,726
of a modern radio newsroom.
506
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:23,729
Mr. McNeal, you're hovering
six feet in the air.
507
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:24,730
No, I'm not.
508
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,231
Yes, you are.
509
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,233
Oh, you mean the chair?
Yes.
510
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:30,235
I see.
It's a special radio chair.
511
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:32,237
Trade secret.
I can't explain.
512
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:33,738
I must say,
you're the most
513
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:36,241
unflappable journalist
I've ever met.
514
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:37,742
Really?
515
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:38,744
You can't fool me.
516
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,245
I mean, something's
going on around here,
517
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:41,246
but it's not
getting to you.
518
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:43,248
All right, I admit it.
519
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:45,750
The man who owns
this station
520
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,252
is something
of a practical joker.
521
00:19:47,252 --> 00:19:49,754
Bill McNeal
doesn't swing that way.
522
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,256
Well, all I can say is
523
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:53,258
you'll make one hell
of an interesting story.
524
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,260
Get me a photograph,
I can get you on the front page.
525
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,761
Seriously?
526
00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:58,764
What do you want?
I have brooding with glasses,
527
00:19:58,764 --> 00:19:59,765
brooding without glasses,
528
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,266
happy with glasses,
happy without.
529
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:02,267
Well, send them all.
530
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,768
This will be great.
531
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:06,271
You're the epitome
of grace under pressure.
532
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:10,275
In these veins,
nothing but ice water.
533
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:15,280
Excuse me.
534
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,781
I'll give my publicist
a call
535
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:17,783
and have those photos
sent right over.
536
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,785
Super. Nice to meet you,
Mr. Mc Neal.
537
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:20,786
You too, Mr. James.
538
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,287
Yeah.
539
00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:23,788
Ha ha ha!
540
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:26,792
Cretins, try as you might,
541
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:29,294
nobody makes a fool
of Bill McNeal.
542
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:31,796
Well, Bill, I got
to hand it to you, Bill,
543
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:32,798
you were like a rock.
544
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:33,799
I can't believe
545
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,300
you held it together
like that.
546
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,801
Yes, I did.
547
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,303
Well, I got to admit it,
548
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:39,804
I have been bested
by the master.
549
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,306
Hello, Jackie? McNeal.
550
00:20:41,306 --> 00:20:44,309
Send all my photos over
to The Wall Street Journal.
551
00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:46,811
That's right.
552
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:49,314
Oh, Mr. McNeal,
one more question.
553
00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:51,316
Sure. What is it, son?
554
00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:53,318
Is it warm in here?
555
00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:55,320
Excuse me?
556
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,822
Because I'm feeling
kind of hot.
557
00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,825
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
558
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:05,831
April fool, Bill!
559
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:11,336
Yes, Jimmy, you got me.
560
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:12,837
Kudos.
561
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:16,842
Mark my words,
I'll get you back for this.
562
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:17,843
I will have my revenge!
563
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:18,844
Oh, yeah?
564
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:20,345
How you gonna
do that, Bill?
565
00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:23,348
I don't know.
566
00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:27,352
LISA: We're going out to dinner.You want to come?
567
00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:28,353
No, thanks.
568
00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:29,354
You sure?
569
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:30,855
No. I, uh...
570
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:34,860
I'd like to be alone
with the desk for a while.
571
00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:38,363
Of course. I understand.
572
00:21:38,363 --> 00:21:42,867
I remember my first time
with Lisa's desk.
573
00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:49,875
Hey.
574
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,376
I left some tax stuff--
575
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:53,378
Oh, my God.
You came back.
576
00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:55,380
Yeah, those W--
577
00:21:58,383 --> 00:22:00,385
Oh, Brian.
578
00:22:00,385 --> 00:22:03,388
Uh, my name
isn't Brian.
579
00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:07,392
Who the hell
cleaned out my desk?
580
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,902
[♪]
40209
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