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1
00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:06,072
Yeah, so anyway, you know,
if I move the phone at all
2
00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:09,575
or jostle it in any way,
the line cuts out.
3
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:11,578
So I'm pretty sure
the jack is broken.
4
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:13,079
Well, if it's broken,
I can fix it.
5
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:16,082
Well, take my word for it.
The jack is definitely broken.
6
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:17,583
Then I can fix it.
7
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:18,585
Okay, what's wrong with it?
8
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:20,086
It's broken.
9
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:23,089
And you can fix it?
10
00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:24,590
Yeah. I got some spare parts
lying around.
11
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,593
I can probably rig up something
for you by noon.
12
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,094
No, no, no. No rigging. No.
13
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,595
Aw, come on.
14
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,097
No. No. Just splurge.
15
00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:32,098
Go down to the hardware store
16
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,599
and spend 25 cents
for a new jack.
17
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,102
Uh-uh, I have never
and will never use
18
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:37,103
any of that machine-made,
mass-produced garbage.
19
00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:39,105
I don't play that game.
20
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,607
Well, that's very...
Neo-Luddite of you.
21
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:46,112
That's very neo...
Unnecessary-big-word of you.
22
00:00:47,113 --> 00:00:48,614
Hey, don't
knock it, dude.
23
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,617
Remember when I fixed the
hard drive on your computer?
24
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,118
Just these two hands,
a soldering iron,
25
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,619
some parts from an old clock.
26
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,121
Yeah. That was very impressive.
27
00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:57,623
Hey, is that why my old clock
doesn't work anymore?
28
00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,125
Yes.
29
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:02,128
Excuse me, Dave.
I was just wondering--
30
00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:10,636
I'm sorry. This is a bad time.
31
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,138
What do you want?
32
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:14,140
It doesn't seem important now,
whatever it was,
33
00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:17,143
so frankly, my mind
is drawing a blank.
34
00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:20,146
I assume this means you and Lisa
aren't dating anymore?
35
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:24,150
Okay, Bill, we get
the joke. Very funny.
36
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,151
Thank you.
37
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,653
I need Joe to give me a hand
with something.
38
00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:28,655
I'm busy.
39
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,156
There's 20 bucks in it
for you.
40
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:31,657
You know, Dave,
at this point
41
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:33,159
I'm just pushing wires
around down here, so...
42
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:34,660
Joe...
43
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:35,662
Joe!
44
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,163
I was hoping
you could tell me
45
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:39,165
where to get
one of these.
46
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:40,666
Uh, a newsstand?
47
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,169
Not the magazine. This.
48
00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:45,171
An electronic
voice modulator.
49
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,672
What do you want
one of those for?
50
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:48,675
I think your fake radio voice
sounds great.
51
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:52,679
Thank you. But I want it to be
a little more...
52
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:53,680
Bass?
53
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,682
And a tad more...
54
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:57,183
Like Rush Limbaugh?
55
00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:59,685
No. I mean just
a little more...
56
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,187
Like Robin Quivers?
57
00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:02,188
No. More resonance.
58
00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:03,689
Look, pick up one of these
for me
59
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,191
and I'll give you 20 bucks
to install it.
60
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,692
You don't want to buy
one of those.
61
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:09,195
Come on. I could rig it up
for you on the mixing board.
62
00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:11,697
Joe, no rigging.
63
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,700
Come on. We've been
through this before.
64
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,702
Turn up the pitch
a little,
65
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,704
give you a little reverb...
Sit, sit, sit.
66
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,205
All right, fine.
67
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:22,708
But don't take apart
my clock again.
68
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,711
Ahem.
I'm Bill McNeal.
69
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:26,212
I'm Bill McNeal.
70
00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,713
What's your name?
71
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,215
I'm Bill McNeal.
72
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:32,718
Heh. Okay, ready?
73
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,721
HIGH PITCHED:
I'm Bill McNeal.
74
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:37,223
I'm Bill McNeal.
75
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,225
You know what?
76
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:42,728
I think I can look up a store
in the yellow pages myself.
77
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,732
No, no, no, no.
That's not what I'm about.
78
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,734
Come on, just give me a second
to tune it up here.
79
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:51,237
All right. Hold on.
Wait a second.
80
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:56,242
Patch me into the intercom
and turn the volume way up.
81
00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:59,745
Hang on...
Hang on...
82
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,748
Okay.
83
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:02,749
Now.
84
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,751
HIGH PITCHED:
Matthew!
85
00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:10,756
Ho, ho, ho.
86
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:13,760
Close. Close, Bill. Good...
87
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,261
But no cigar.
88
00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:17,263
You're going to have to wake up
pretty early--
89
00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:20,266
Hey, do you have
the time? Yes.
90
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,268
[♪]
91
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,298
Okay, and finally,
92
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,300
I'm afraid the station is
no longer going to reimburse you
93
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,301
for cab rides home.
94
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:56,302
What?
What?
95
00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,804
Wait a minute. What if
we work past 8:00 p.m.?
96
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,306
I'm sorry. Not anymore.
97
00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:01,807
Well, that's not fair.
98
00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,309
That's just punishing people
who stay at work late.
99
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:05,311
Well, it's one thing if you're
here till midnight working.
100
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:06,812
It's another
if you wait till 8:01
101
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,314
so you can get the free cab,
102
00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:10,816
pick up six of your friends,
each from a different borough
103
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:13,820
and can go club-hopping
all night.
104
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:14,821
Beth.
105
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,322
What are you
talking about, Dave?
106
00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:18,324
Um, actually,
that was me.
107
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:20,826
A friend of mine
had a bachelor party,
108
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:23,329
and we didn't know
where to go,
109
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:25,331
so I asked
the cab driver
110
00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:28,334
to drop us off
"where the action is."
111
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:29,335
Where'd you end up,
big guy?
112
00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:30,836
Airport.
113
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,841
Regardless, though,
any inappropriate expenditures
114
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,844
will be deducted
from your salary in the future.
115
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,846
That is going
too far.
116
00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,848
No, taking a cab
to New Jersey and back
117
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,349
is going too far.
118
00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:47,353
That was radio-related business.
119
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:50,356
There are plenty of places
in Manhattan
120
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:51,357
to buy a radio.
121
00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:54,360
Dave, it was
a 43% off sale.
122
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,362
Apparently, the guy
who owned the place
123
00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:57,863
went crazy
124
00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:01,367
and was slashing
prices.
125
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:04,370
Well, I may go crazy
and slash paychecks
126
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,372
if I see another receipt
like that.
127
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:08,374
Okay, meeting adjourned.
Thank you.
128
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:14,380
Here you go, dude.
Check it out.
129
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:17,883
The Voice-Mo-Tron 10,000.
130
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:22,388
I'm assuming you crafted this
with your own hands.
131
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:24,390
What makes you say that?
132
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:27,393
The liberal use of
paper clips and duct tape
133
00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:28,894
was sort of a tip-off.
134
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:31,397
Duct tape.
That stuff's a rip-off.
135
00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:32,898
I make my own tape.
136
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:34,901
Come on,
we'll go in the booth.
137
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:37,403
I'll hook it up
for you.
138
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:40,906
We'll be back
with traffic and weather
139
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,409
at the top of the hour.
140
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:46,912
Let me get hooked up here.
141
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,915
Okay, give it a shot.
142
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:51,918
VERY LOW VOICE:
Hello. I'm Bill McNeal.
143
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:54,420
I don't think
this is right.
144
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,922
It's good.
Your voice sounds deeper.
145
00:05:56,923 --> 00:06:01,928
Shut it off.
Hang on. Wait a second.
146
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:06,933
Barry White coming at you
with the power of love, baby.
147
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:10,436
MALE VOICE:
Why do you want to change-- Joe!
148
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:11,437
Sorry.
149
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:12,938
Thank you.
150
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:13,940
Whoa.
151
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,942
Don't worry, folks.
Stay calm.
152
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,945
Happens in my apartment
every day.
153
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,947
Ad sales, please.
154
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,949
Hi. Jerry?
Hi. Dave Nelson. Yeah.
155
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:26,953
I was going over our records,
And-- Jerry?
156
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:27,954
Jerry?
157
00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:31,957
Beth?
158
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:42,968
Okay, you win, Dave.
159
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:46,472
Now I'll go hide,
and you can try to find me.
160
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:49,475
Shouldn't you be getting
to your dentist appointment?
161
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:50,976
Right. Yeah.
When is that?
162
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:54,480
That is today at...
Ten minutes ago, Dave.
163
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,482
Well, thanks for the reminder.
Okay.
164
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:58,484
Okay, and would you get Joe
to fix my phone, please?
165
00:06:58,484 --> 00:06:59,485
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
166
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:01,487
Sounds like
he fixed it.
167
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:07,993
Hello? Oh, hi, Jerry.
Yeah, we got cut off.
168
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:09,996
Yeah, yeah, because I was going
over our records and--
169
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,498
Jerry?
170
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:14,500
MATTHEW: David?
171
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,502
BETH: He's at the dentist.
172
00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:18,003
Dentist?
173
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:21,507
I wonder who's going to be
paying for that cab trip.
174
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:24,009
No free cab rides.
What a ripoff.
175
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,011
I'll tell you what, though.
176
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:27,013
From now on,
I'm going to take the bus,
177
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:29,015
and I will be charging
the station.
178
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,017
You can count on that.
179
00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,019
That'll show him.
180
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,520
What about
the mug today?
181
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,522
Was he out of control
with that thing, or what?
182
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:38,023
"Okay, people, meeting.
183
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:40,526
"First, let me have
a quick sip--
184
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:42,027
"No, I think
I'll put it down here--
185
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:46,532
"No. No more cab rides,
Matthew.
186
00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:48,534
"No, I can't actually
put my mug down
187
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,035
or I'll lose
all my magic powers."
188
00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:55,541
Hey, what was
the final score today
189
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,042
on his coffee mug
gymnastics?
190
00:07:57,043 --> 00:08:00,046
Oh, actually,
I counted seven trade-offs
191
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:01,047
from right hand to left
192
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,048
and at least nine
193
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:03,549
"almost puts the mug down
194
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:06,051
but then picks it up before it
touches the tables."
195
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:09,055
Well, from the booth,
196
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:14,060
I counted 17 fully executed
coffee cup maneuvers.
197
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:18,564
Aha. I thought I smelled
Dave's burning flesh.
198
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,065
This is a new twist, though:
199
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:23,069
bitch session in the office
of the bitchee himself.
200
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:26,072
Well, it's more exciting
because it's taboo.
201
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:28,574
Taboo...
202
00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:31,076
Hey, Lisa,
tell us the truth.
203
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:34,080
Dave buys his suits
in the little boys' department,
204
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,082
doesn't he?
205
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,584
He did look like a
14-year-old, didn't he?
206
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,586
Oh, hey, Dave,
207
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,087
I thought you were still
at the dentist.
208
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:45,591
Ladies and gentlemen,
you have just been burned.
209
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:46,592
Oh, Beth!
210
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,594
That is so
negative.
211
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:51,597
Anyway, I think Dave looks cute
in that suit.
212
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:55,100
Oh, yeah. Almost just like
a real grown-up.
213
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,602
No. He really does.
214
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,103
He looks like
215
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,106
he just stepped out
of a Norman Rockwell painting.
216
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:03,109
"First day at Bible college."
217
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:09,114
I think he looks more like,
uh...
218
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:12,618
A very handsome young executive.
219
00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:15,621
And you guys have gone
way, way over the line here.
220
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,122
What?
What?
221
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:21,127
Okay, the coffee mug thing,
okay, I know that's just a joke,
222
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:24,130
but making fun of a man's suit,
well, that's just wrong!
223
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,133
Oh, okay, see, um...
224
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:31,137
in the black community,
it's considered--
225
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,639
To make fun of
somebody's clothing is--
226
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,140
CATHERINE: Oh, Matthew,
shut up.
227
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:38,143
I'm ready.
228
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,145
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
229
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,147
Presenting...
230
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:44,150
Dave, The Insane Maniac,
231
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,152
a play in one act,
by Beth and Bill.
232
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:55,160
Hello, Dave.
233
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:57,663
HIGH VOICE:
Hello, employee.
234
00:09:57,663 --> 00:09:59,665
You look miserable
and depressed.
235
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:02,668
Oh, I am. I can no longer
take cab rides home
236
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:04,169
from the office.
237
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:06,672
Excellent.
That's good news to me.
238
00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:10,175
You see, I'm from
Wis-cahn-sin...
239
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,677
where taxicabs are feared,
240
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:13,679
and hunted
for the delicious meat
241
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:14,680
under their hoods.
242
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,181
Comedy?
243
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:17,683
Or tragedy?
244
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,685
You be the judge.
You be the judge.
245
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,186
The end.
246
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:23,689
Bravo, bravo.
247
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:24,690
And brava.
248
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,191
Thank you
very much.
249
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:27,693
Actually, we had this one part
250
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:28,694
where Bill
plays with the mug--
251
00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,195
Yeah, but I like
to stay away
252
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:31,697
from the broad,
physical stuff.
253
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:33,198
No offense, Matthew.
254
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,700
How do you guys manage
255
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:37,202
to come up with a new play
every day?
256
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:38,704
I consider it a gift.
257
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,719
Hello, Mom?
258
00:10:57,723 --> 00:11:01,727
Ouch, chihuahua,
that's got to hurt.
259
00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:03,729
They know you overheard them?
260
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:06,231
No, no, you're the first
person I've spoken to.
261
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:07,733
Well, except my mom.
262
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,735
What did she say?
263
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:12,738
"Come home, pumpkin."
264
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,239
That's sweet. Sweet.
265
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,242
So your mom's still married
to that guy--
266
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:17,243
My dad?
Yeah.
267
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:18,244
Uh-huh.
268
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,246
Well, you'll let me know if--
269
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:21,747
Oh, sure. Yeah.
All right.
270
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:25,250
You know, I just can't help
but feel--
271
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:27,253
Unloved?
272
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:30,256
No, it's... Well, yeah.
273
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:33,259
Aw, pumpkin...
274
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,262
You know that I love you,
don't you?
275
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:38,764
Oh, that's not necessary, sir.
276
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:43,268
But I do, I do.
I really love you.
277
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,770
WAITER: I'll come back
a little later
278
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,773
to get the gentlemen's
dessert orders.
279
00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:51,276
That-- That was a little bit
embarrassing.
280
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:52,778
No, no, no.
281
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:54,279
There's nothing wrong
282
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,282
with two drunk men
loving each other.
283
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:59,785
I don't-- I don't care
who knows it.
284
00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:00,786
Hey!
285
00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:02,287
Hey!
286
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:05,791
I love this guy
right here!
287
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:07,292
I love him!
288
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:08,794
Hey, Ted.
289
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:11,296
Ted Turner.
Great, uh, great guy.
290
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:12,298
My regards to, uh--
291
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,299
Jane.
292
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,800
Yeah, Jane.
293
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,303
You tell me
exactly what they said
294
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:19,805
made you feel so bad.
295
00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:22,808
Well, they said I looked
296
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:25,310
like a 14-year-old
in a business suit.
297
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:27,813
Well...
298
00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:29,314
Okay, all right.
299
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,317
They also said
that I make ridiculous gestures
300
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:33,319
with my coffee mug.
301
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:36,822
Oh, that's really something
that pierces a man's soul, huh?
302
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,826
Well, it's not the specifics
of what they said.
303
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:42,828
It's the fact
they said it behind my back.
304
00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:43,829
Dave, Dave,
you're the boss.
305
00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:45,330
You supposed to be
thick-skinned.
306
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:46,832
I'm plenty thick-skinned.
307
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:49,835
Oh, yeah. I've seen thicker skin
on a bowl of pudding.
308
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:52,337
Here, check this out.
309
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,840
Sir, you really don't have
to do that to impress me.
310
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,341
You want to know the secret?
311
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,844
Wild guess. Thick skin?
312
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,345
Metaphysically, yes.
313
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:03,349
Technically speaking,
you do it 15, 16 times,
314
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:09,355
it kills all the nerve endings
in your hand.
315
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,856
I see.
316
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:12,858
But you know--
But sometimes I just feel like--
317
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:15,360
Sir, it's starting
to smell funny.
318
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,863
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Thanks.
319
00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,364
Dave...
320
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:24,870
You're just not going
to be comfortable
321
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,371
until you confront them,
322
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,874
so maybe, uh...
323
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:31,877
maybe you're just
not thick-skinned enough.
324
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:33,378
I'm plenty
thick-skinned.
325
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,381
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You know...
326
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:38,384
You're drunk,
that's what you are.
327
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:39,885
No, I'm not. I'm fine.
328
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:41,386
You've had more to drink
than I have.
329
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:42,888
Well, yeah,
330
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:44,890
but I don't have the body
of a 14-year-old.
331
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:50,896
I-- I couldn't resist that.
332
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:53,899
It doesn't bother me at all.
See? It just rolls off my back.
333
00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:54,900
Attaboy.
334
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:57,402
Hey! Mike!
335
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:58,904
Mike!
Mike Eisner!
336
00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:01,907
That's Mike Eisner.
He's a great guy, great guy.
337
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:04,910
He's got skin
like a rhino.
338
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:07,913
I think that's Mike Ovitz.
339
00:14:07,913 --> 00:14:09,915
Doesn't matter.
They're all the same.
340
00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:10,916
Mike!
341
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:11,917
Yeah, Mike!
342
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:14,419
Yeah! No, you
come over here!
343
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:17,923
Yeah. No, you come
over here!
344
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:21,927
I got a young man right here
that I happen to love!
345
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,438
Okay, here we go.
346
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,940
Now, I want you to go in there
and control the situation.
347
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:37,943
Take the bull by the horns. You
know I'll be right behind you.
348
00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:38,944
I will.
How's your hand?
349
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:40,946
Oh, it's great.
No sensation at all.
350
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:42,948
Hey, everyone?
351
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:43,949
Hello.
352
00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:45,951
Hey, hey, hey, listen.
353
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:48,453
Does anyone here
have any problems
354
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:50,456
with the way I run the station?
355
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:51,957
Yeah!
356
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:54,960
You do?
357
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,962
No. I was being
supportive.
358
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:58,964
Just go ahead.
Do it again.
359
00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:01,967
Does anyone have any problems
with the way I run this station?
360
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:04,469
Amen!
361
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,977
You know, sir, I think this
might ago a little quicker
362
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:13,478
without your support.
363
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:16,482
Okay, I got you,
pumpkin.
364
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:19,985
Well?
365
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,486
Oh, no, Dave.
366
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:22,988
No.
No.
367
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,990
Are you sure?
Because you know what?
368
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:26,491
I was a little concerned
369
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:29,495
that maybe I was coming off
as... I don't know...
370
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:33,499
An insane Norman Rockwell
Bible school boy maniac.
371
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:39,505
Did you tell Dave?
372
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:41,507
No, no...
373
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:45,010
I don't need anybody to tell me
anything, all right,
374
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:47,012
because...
375
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:51,016
I happened to be hiding
under the desk the whole time.
376
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:57,523
You were eavesdropping on us,
Dave?
377
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,024
I don't
believe this.
378
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:00,025
Look, look, look,
people, people,
379
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:05,030
it doesn't matter whether, um...
380
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:08,033
Hang on. Dave, you were hiding
under the desk the whole time?
381
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:10,535
You didn't
tell me that.
382
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:12,037
It was kind of
unintentional.
383
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:13,538
Oh, I see. Okay.
384
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:18,043
Look, people, people,
it doesn't matter whether, uh...
385
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:20,045
You know what, Dave?
I think this is really pathetic.
386
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:22,547
I have to distance myself
from you.
387
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,049
I'll see you later.
388
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,057
Are you okay?
389
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:35,060
Yeah. Fine.
390
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:40,565
I'm just resting up for that
big sale at... Baby Gap.
391
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:48,073
Come on...
We didn't mean anything.
392
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:49,074
Mm-hmm.
393
00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:50,575
No. We were just kidding around.
394
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:52,077
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
395
00:16:52,077 --> 00:16:53,578
We just...
396
00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:58,583
Dave, now that's
what employees do.
397
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:01,086
Mm-hmm. Is that
what girlfriends do?
398
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:04,589
Well... I said
you looked cute.
399
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:07,092
You know, I just keep trying
to figure it out in my head.
400
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:08,593
I mean, "Does she
really love me,
401
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:11,096
"or is it just the thrill
of possibly being picked up
402
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:13,598
on charges of
corrupting a minor?"
403
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,100
Oh, Dave. Come on.
404
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:18,103
You know how sexy
I think you are.
405
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,105
Wait a sec.
Wait a sec, wait a sec.
406
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,607
Okay, okay, now say it.
407
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:25,110
Okay, now you're
being a jerk.
408
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:26,111
Oh, deja vu.
409
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:28,113
I turn my back and you
start to badmouth me.
410
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:30,615
All right, I can't be around you
when you're like this.
411
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:32,618
What, I don't remind you
of a Norman Rockwell painting
412
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:33,619
anymore?
413
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,121
No, I don't think he painted one
called "Pissy Wisconsin Jerk."
414
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:40,626
You ready?
415
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:44,129
Joe, please,
can't we just give up?
416
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:45,630
Did Thomas Edison give up?
417
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:48,133
Thomas Edison wasn't trying
to invent something
418
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,634
that was readily available
419
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,136
at a variety of stores
near his home.
420
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:54,639
Yeah, well, I'm not giving up.
Come on, man.
421
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,642
RICH VOICE:
I'm Bill McNeal.
422
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,144
WNYX news time: 4:00.
423
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:00,145
It works!
424
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:02,647
The eagle
has landed.
425
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,149
Joe, it sounds
exquisite.
426
00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:06,151
I'll say. Thanks, buddy.
427
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:07,652
Sorry,
corporate America.
428
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:10,155
It seems the common man
triumphs once again.
429
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:13,158
The Unabomber
would be very proud.
430
00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:16,161
Well, I can't believe
he did it.
431
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,162
He didn't.
432
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:19,164
What are you talking about?
433
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:22,167
RICH VOICE: I'm Bill McNeal.
I'm Bill McNeal.
434
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,668
How are you doing that?
435
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:26,171
I think I somehow use
the inside of my skull
436
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,173
as a sounding chamber.
437
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:30,675
I don't pretend to understand
the physics of it.
438
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:32,678
Bill, honey, why didn't you just
do this from the start
439
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,680
instead of making Joe
build you a machine?
440
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,181
Because when I do it this way,
441
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:39,184
I suffer from intense headaches
and blackouts.
442
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,192
Yeah, come on in, Joe.
443
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:48,693
Thanks for coming,
everybody.
444
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,195
Hey, where's Lisa?
445
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:52,697
Oh, actually, she and Dave
had a little fight moment
446
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:54,199
and she left early.
447
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:57,202
Yeah, which is why
I asked you all here.
448
00:18:57,202 --> 00:19:00,205
Now, folks, what we have here
is an office divided.
449
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:02,207
You know, it's like some kind
of civil war,
450
00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:05,710
and we all know what happens
in a civil war, right, Beth?
451
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,713
Yeah. Brother fights
against brother?
452
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:10,716
No. Some nutjob actor
pops the president in the head
453
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:12,718
while he's trying
to watch the show.
454
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,722
He was hiding
under his desk.
455
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:18,724
Look, Jimmy,
we were wrong, okay,
456
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:21,226
but Dave shouldn't have been
eavesdropping on us.
457
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:22,727
From under his desk!
458
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,229
It's totally bogus.
459
00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:25,730
He pulled a desk job
on us, Jim!
460
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,232
All right, fine. Fine.
461
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:31,236
Okay, I'll start looking for
a new news director tomorrow.
462
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:33,738
What?
You heard me.
463
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:35,240
I'm replacing Dave.
464
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,742
You people have spoken,
I have listened.
465
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,244
Thanks for the time.
466
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:41,746
If you fire Dave,
I quit.
467
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:45,751
Who's with me?
468
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:48,253
Look, people fight all the time.
It doesn't mean anything.
469
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:49,254
One Christmas,
470
00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:51,256
my brother hit me over the head
with a frying pan
471
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:52,257
to see if it'd change shape,
472
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:53,758
they way they do
in the cartoons?
473
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,761
It doesn't mean
he didn't love me.
474
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:58,263
I said, who's with me?
475
00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:01,766
I'm sorry, folks.
Dave's out.
476
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:05,771
Jimmy, Dave is quite simply
the best news director
477
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:07,272
I've ever worked with.
478
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:10,775
But?
479
00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:13,779
What? No, I really mean it.
480
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:15,280
Well...
481
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:19,284
Bill McNeal shows a little
compassion and sincerity.
482
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:20,785
Remarkable.
483
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:24,790
Those dimensions are there.
They're just unexplored.
484
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,792
Okay, so what
you're saying is,
485
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:28,794
you want Dave to stay?
486
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:29,795
Oh, yes.
Absolutely.
487
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:32,297
All right, you're
with me. I'm up.
488
00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:34,299
All right,
but you'll stop bitching
489
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:35,800
about the way he does his job?
490
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:36,802
Ah...
That's...
491
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,303
All right, you'll be
more careful
492
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:39,804
about where you hold
your bitch sessions?
493
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:40,806
That's for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
494
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:43,308
Okay, I'll see you folks later.
495
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:44,309
Okay, well...
Thank you.
496
00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:45,810
So did it
change shape?
497
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,813
The frying pan stayed the same.
What about your head?
498
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:49,314
I don't remember.
499
00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:50,815
Thanks again,
folks. Yeah.
500
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,818
Thanks, Bill. Always
nice to see you.
501
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:58,823
You get all that,
pumpkin?
502
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:07,832
Wow.
503
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,335
See? They don't hate you.
I mean, quite the contrary.
504
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:12,337
Wow.
505
00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:14,339
Okay, all right, Dave.
You know what you need?
506
00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:15,840
Good night's sleep.
507
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,342
Definitely, but first...
508
00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:18,843
A little hair
of the dog that bit you.
509
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:19,845
Come on.
No.
510
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:21,847
Just one?
Okay.
511
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,348
All right.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
512
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:25,850
What about Lisa? What are you
going to do about Lisa?
513
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:29,354
You know, I don't know what's
going to happen with that.
514
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:30,855
I mean, I'm okay with the rest,
515
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,357
but you know, what Lisa did
really hurts.
516
00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:35,360
Well, yeah, but I mean,
you two can patch it up, huh?
517
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,362
I don't know.
I don't know this time.
518
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:39,864
All right. You know what?
I got to get my wallet.
519
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:42,367
I'll be right out there.
I'll be right with you.
520
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:46,872
Sorry about that.
521
00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:49,875
Sometimes it works,
sometimes it don't.
522
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:50,876
Yeah.
523
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:53,378
That's all right.
He'll get over it.
524
00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:54,879
I have my ways.
525
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:55,881
Yeah.
526
00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:58,383
You know what?
Call him "pumpkin."
527
00:21:58,383 --> 00:21:59,884
He likes that.
528
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:01,887
That's what
his mother calls him.
529
00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:03,889
Yeah, but his mom's
really hot.
530
00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:12,897
[♪]
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