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(light whimsical music)

(upbeat whimsical music)

♪ Aah, aah ♪

♪ Aah, aah ♪

♪ Aah, aah ♪

♪ Aah, aah ♪

(upbeat whimsical music continues)

♪ Aah, aah, aah ♪

♪ Aah, aah, aah, aah ♪

♪ Aah, aah, aah ♪

♪ Aah ♪

(upbeat whimsical music continues)

(light whimsical music)

♪ Aah, aah ♪

(light whimsical music continues)

(upbeat whimsical music)

♪ Aah, aah, aah, aah, aah ♪

♪ Aah, aah ♪

(upbeat whimsical music continues)

(Vi moaning and gasping)

(Vi panting)

(Marcus panting)

- Hey, you wanna hear my short story now?

- Huh?

(Marcus groaning)

- I can read it to you.

- You mean again?

- Well, I changed the ending a little.

- Oh, what happens now?

- Well, actually it's the same but longer.

I think it's better, more raw.

- Then maybe you should just read the ending.

- But it won't make sense if you hear it out of context.

- I think you should leave it the way it was.

It was good.

- So you don't wanna hear my new ending?

- You'll read it in class tomorrow.

Surprise me.

Anyway, I have to go.

I promised Melinda I'd help her with her oral.

(Marcus panting)

(Marcus grunts)

- You're tired of me, I can tell.

- Marcus, I'm tired. That's all.

- You've lost interest.

You hardly even sweat anymore when we have sex.

- I was never much of a sweater. You know that.

- Look, Vi, I don't blame you.

You feel pity now.

Pleasure isn't there anymore.

The kinkiness is gone.

You've become kind.

♪ Aah, aah ♪ (upbeat whimsical music)

♪ Aah, aah ♪

♪ Aah, aah ♪

♪ Aah, aah ♪

- "When he saw her, it was

as if he could walk like a normal person.

His legs didn't swing, his arms didn't spaz away.

He wasn't a freak anymore,

for she made him forget his affliction.

No more cerebral palsy.

From now on, CP stood for cerebral person.

He was a cerebral person."

- I thought that was really good, Marcus.

Really moving and emotional.

- Yeah, I thought it was really emotional, too.

- And I mean, really good word choices.

It kind of reminded me a little of Faulkner,

but East Coast and disabled.

- Or Flannery O'Connor.

She had multiple sclerosis.

- And Borges, he was blind.

- Updike has psoriasis.

- Um, maybe I'm wrong, but um,

I'm afraid I found the whole thing

to be a little trite.

Its earnestness is, well uh,

it's a little embarrassing.

And those adjectives are flatfooted and redundant.

I'm sorry, I mean...

Anyway, don't. (chuckles) What do I know?

Don't even listen to what I say.

I mean. (scoffs)

- Anyone else?

Catherine is right.

Your story is a piece of shit.

You express nothing but banalities,

and, formally speaking,

you are unable to construct a single compelling sentence.

You ride on a wave of cliches so worn in fact,

it actually approaches a level of grotesquerie.

And your subtitle, "The Rawness of Truth,"

is that supposed to be a joke of some sort?

Or are you just being pretentious?

Okay. (sighs)

Who's next?

(door creaking)

- [Vi] Marcus! Marcus, wait up!

- What do you want?

- Don't be so upset, it's okay.

- What the fuck are you talking about? What's okay?

- You know he hated my story also.

- You story was terrible.

- Marcus, you'll write something better next time.

- Patronizing fuck!

If you had just been honest with me in the first place,

I wouldn't have read it.

I knew it was shit,

but like an idiot, I believed you.

- That's not fair, I was honest.

Just because I wasn't sucking up like that bitch, Catherine!

- Well, I sure didn't hear you voice your opinion

in there when it mattered!

- I admit it, I was scared.

I was shocked, in fact, by what he said.

And he's so convincing.

I'm sorry if I let you down, but really,

I just still say he's just one opinion.

I don't even like his books that much.

They're all so aggressively confrontational.

I don't care if he's won the Pulitzer Prize.

(Marcus sniffles)

- You just wanna fuck him,

like Catherine and every other white cunt on campus.

(Marcus panting)

(Vi sighs)

- Marcus, you can't just unilaterally decide to end things.

This is a relationship we're talking about, a friendship.

You don't just-

Fuck you! Fuck him!

Fuck him! Fuck him! (sobs)

- Vi, are you okay?

- [Vi] Yes, I'm okay. I'm totally okay. (sobbing)

- You did the right thing.

- I know that.

Fucking cripple.

Why do I waste my time with undergrads?

They're all so juvenile!

Ugh, I just thought Marcus would be different.

I mean, he's got CP. (sobbing)

- What are you gonna do now?

- I don't know.

Go to the bar, get laid, whatever.

Don't worry about me, I'll be just fine.

(upbeat music)

(patrons chattering and laughing)

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Lord, it's a real mother for ya ♪

- [Bartender] What can I get you?

- I'll just have a beer.

♪ Make you wanna run for cover ♪

♪ Yes, it will ♪

♪ And if you look you will discover ♪

- [Bartender] Here you go.

♪ You know, it's a real mother for ya, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Babe, it's a real mother for ya, yeah ♪

♪ Let's get outta here ♪

- [Vocalist] My goodness!

Too cold.

(upbeat music)

Cold blooded, cold blooded.

I'm tellin' you the truth!

Let me stop here at this gas station.

Uh, gimme $3 of no-lead. Can't afford nothing else.

Better get me two hot dogs and a strawberry soda.

♪ Lord, it's a real mother for ya ♪

♪ Lord, it's a real mother for ya ♪

- Hi.

♪ Said, it's a real mother for ya ♪

- Hello, Vi.

- What are you doing here?

- What are you doing here?

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean.

I mean, I just didn't expect

to run into you here, that's all.

- Well, now you have.

- Yeah. (chuckles)

Um, then, are you alone?

- Mm-hmm.

- Can I join you?

(Mr. Scott sighs)

♪ Just let me kiss you and allow me to feel you ♪

- Gee, thanks.

(soft gentle music)

Well um, I just wanted to say

that I'm, um, I'm really happy with the class.

And um.

I know you must hear this all the time,

but I'm also a great admirer of your work.

"A Sunday Lynching," especially

really, um, spoke to me.

God, I hope I'm not embarrassing you.

- You're not.

- Good.

'Cause I, um,

I really agreed with everything you had to say last week

about how bad my story was.

- That's good.

- And I also agreed with what you said today

about Marcus's story.

It is a piece of shit.

- You have beautiful skin.

- Thank you.

(soft gentle music)

So Catherine seems like she might become

a really good writer.

- Maybe.

She's okay.

- Aren't you going out with Catherine?

I'm sorry, it's none of my business.

I didn't mean.

- I'm not going out with Catherine.

- Oh.

Do you think I have potential as a writer?

- No.

- Thank you for being honest.

(soft slow upbeat music) (vocalist singing faintly)

I have so much respect for you.

(gentle upbeat music)

(vocalist harmonizing)

(door clicks)

(door thuds)

Can I just freshen up for a second?

- It's over there.

- Thanks.

(door thuds)

(Vi exhales deeply)

(items clattering)

Don't be a racist.

Don't be a racist.

Don't be a racist. Don't be a racist.

Don't be a racist. Don't be a racist.

Don't be a racist.

(door clicks)

(Vi sighs)

It's a really nice place that you have.

Is the rent high? (chuckles)

- Take off your top.

Now take off the rest.

(shoes clatter)

Turn around.

(Mr. Scott pants)

(belt buckle rattles)

Bend over.

(Mr. Scott grunts)

(Mr. Scott panting)

(Mr. Scott grunts)

Say,

Nigger, fuck me.

- [Vi] Oh, but I-I can't say that.

- Then say, (panting) Ni.

- Ni.

- Ger.

- Ger.

- Say, nigger.

- Nigger.

- Fuck me hard.

- Fuck me hard!

- Say, nigger, fuck me hard.

- Nigger, fuck me hard.

- [Mr. Scott] Again.

- Nigger, fuck me hard!

- Again. - Nigger, fuck me hard.

- Again. - Nigger, fuck me hard.

- (grunts) Again. - Nigger, fuck me hard.

- Again! - Nigger, fuck me hard.

- Again! - Nigger, fuck me hard!

(solemn music) (insects chirping)

- Freak.

(knuckles rapping)

(Marcus sniffles)

(Marcus panting)

- Can, can I come in?

(Vi sobs)

- [Marcus] You're all sweaty.

(Marcus exhales sharply)

- "So John flipped her around,

and slammed her against the wall.

Jane braced herself.

She thought about her mother.

She thought about Peter.

She thought about god, and rape.

Say, fuck me, nigger, fuck me hard.

John's flesh abraded her soft skin.

There would be marks.

She acquiesced and said what he asked her to say,

and did what he asked her to do.

She had entered college with hope, with dignity,

but she would graduate as a whore."

- Why do people have to be so ugly,

write about such ugly characters?

It's perverted.

(sighs) I know you all think that I'm being prissy,

but I don't care.

I was brought up in a certain way,

and this is mean-spirited.

- Yeah.

Well, I-it did seem

a little affected.

Like by using taboo language,

you were trying to shock us

about the hollowness of your characters.

- I think it was a little bit racist.

- It was completely racist.

And beyond that, I felt deeply offended as a woman.

As if women could only operate

from experiences of objectification.

- Totally phallocentric.

- And so weirdly misogynistic.

I mean, why does Jane go through with this?

Is she stupid?

- Hey, but wasn't this a rape?

Or did I miss something?

Because, I'm, I'm confused, because if this was a rape,

then why would she be a whore?

- It was confessional, yet dishonest.

Jane pretends to be horrified by the sexuality

that she in fact fetishizes.

She subsumes herself to the myth

of black male sexual potency,

but then doesn't follow through.

She thinks she respects Afro Americans,

and thinks they're cool and exotic.

What a notch he'd make in her belt.

But of course, it all comes down to Mandingo cliche,

and he calls her on it.

In classic racist tradition,

she demonizes, then runs for cover.

But then, how could she behave otherwise?

She's just a spoiled, suburban white girl

with a Benetton rainbow complex.

It's just my opinion and what do I know,

but I think it's a callow piece of writing.

- Callow and coy.

Jane wants more, but isn't honest enough to admit it.

In the end she returns to the safety

of her crippled, translation: sexually impotent, boyfriend.

- This is bullshit!

Her story was the truth!

- Right.

- It's unbelievable!

- It's cliched!

- It's disgusting! - But it happened!

- I don't know about what happened, Vi,

because once you start writing, it all becomes fiction.

Still, it certainly is an improvement over your last story.

There is now at least a beginning, a middle,

and an end.

- [Pam] "Toby, I just know

you're going to become a movie star.

Please don't forget me when you make it to the top.

I will always love you. Pam."

(Toby sighs)

(phone beeps) (line tone ringing)

(phone beeping)

(phone line ringing)

- Hello? - Uh, hello.

Um, is this Pam?

- Who is this? - Toby Oxman.

- [Pam] Toby? Oh, hi, how are you?

- Oh, I'm fine. How are you?

- Great. - Great!

- [Pam] So what's going on?

- Oh, that's what I was just gonna ask you.

- [Pam] But you called.

- Oh, ah, yeah. Well, um.

I- I was, I was just calling because, uh, well,

I was, I was wondering if you still remembered me,

which I guess you do. (chuckles)

- [Pam] Yeah?

- So look at where we are.

The year 2000! Can you believe it?

I mean, did you ever think we would actually make it?

- [Pam] Um, well, yeah.

So are you still acting?

- Uh, um, no. (chuckles)

Not anymore.

No, um, I kind of came to terms with myself.

I realized I had done what I had to do

and uh, it was time to move on.

- [Pam] Oh, so what did you do after you gave up on acting?

- Well, I went to law school, if you can believe that.

- I believe it, - Yeah, well, it was really

all kind of a joke and a rip-off, the whole thing,

so I dropped out.

- Oh, that's too bad.

- Yeah, well, but then it got me writing,

so that was a good thing.

- [Pam] Anything I might know about?

- Well uh, I kinda let things go

on this novel I'd been really into.

(groans) I mean, the whole publishing industry

is totally corrupt.

Really, it's finished.

- [Pam] That's too bad.

- Hmm, I worked over at a homeless shelter for a while,

drove a cab to pay the rent, but I mean, that was, like,

I mean, I have some dignity. (chuckles)

- [Pam] That's good.

So then what do you do now?

- I'm a documentary filmmaker.

- [Pam] Oh? Anything I might have seen?

- Mm, not yet.

I'm hoping to get a grant for this one project on teenagers.

(sighs) Geez, remember when we were teenagers?

- [Pam] Yeah, you didn't wanna take me to the prom.

- Oh, I-I don't remember that.

- [Pam] I do.

- Well, ugh, but it was so long ago.

You know, we were so different back then. (chuckles)

Uh, well, anyway, um,

I'm, so I'm looking for subjects for this documentary

on teenage-life in suburbia.

It's kind of a, an exploration

of the psyche, of its mythology.

I wrote to Derrida to see if he'd like to do the narration,

but everything's still kind of in development at this point.

- [Pam] Huh.

- I work in a shoe store right now.

Uh, but it's cool, I'm, I'm not ashamed.

I mean, I-I, really,

I have a much stronger sense of self now.

And uh, anyway, it's really very temporary.

- That's good. - Yeah.

Um, so anyway, tell me, what about you?

Uh, I'd heard through the grapevine

that you were producing movies.

- [Pam] Yeah, but not anymore.

- Oh. Tired of life in the fast lane? (chuckles)

Yeah.

So, you're, um, married?

- Yeah. - Huh.

- Kids? - Yeah.

- How many? - Three.

- Great.

Ah, how old are they?

- [Pam] Eight, six, and four.

- Wow, that really is great.

Hm, in a few years, who knows,

maybe they'll wanna be in my documentary, (chuckles)

- [Pam] Listen, Toby, I can't really talk right now.

Do you mind if I call you back?

- Yeah, sure.

- Okay, bye, - Okay, bye,

(phone beeps)

Maybe she has caller ID.

(gentle upbeat music)

- [Mr. DeMarco] Do you have any hobbies?

- No, not really,

- [Mr. DeMarco] Any books you like to read for fun?

- No.

(Mr. DeMarco sighs)

- How about those underground comics?

- I hate reading.

- All right, Scooby, let's not beat around the bush.

With your attitude, you not gonna get in anywhere.

- Okay.

- "Okay." So you just don't care?

I- I-let me ask you something,

not as your guidance counselor, but as a friend.

What do you wanna do with your life?

I mean, what, what kinda long-term goals

can you possibly have?

- I don't know.

- Come on, you can talk to me.

Tell me what you're thinking.

- Well, I mean, I wanna be on TV.

Maybe have a talk show or something,

like Conan or early Letterman.

- Ah-ha!

And how is it you hope to achieve this goal?

- I don't know. See if I have any connections?

(upbeat music) ♪ Island girl ♪

♪ What you wanting with the white man's world ♪

♪ Island girl ♪

♪ Black boy want you in his island world ♪

♪ He want to take you from the racket boss ♪

♪ He want to save you, but the cause is lost ♪

- Did you knock on his door?

- Yes, but he just shouted at me and used the F word.

- Scooby, dinner!

- Would anyone be interested

in being hypnotized after dinner?

- [Marty, Fern And Brady] No.

(upbeat music)

- Let's just start.

- I don't know what's wrong with that kid.

- Maybe he's gay. - Don't ever say that.

- What if he is? - He isn't.

- Marty, ignore him.

- He's vegetarian,

doesn't do sports- - Brady!

- And even if he is.

- Gay people are people too, you know?

You're just being prejudiced.

- I don't care if he's gay.

I'm cool, I mean, it's not

like I have to share his room or anything.

- I just wanna know what the hell he does in his room

that's so interesting he doesn't come down for dinner.

- Maybe he's building a bomb, just like-

- Don't even joke about that.

- I'm serious.

What happens if he blows up the school?

(items crashing) - Fuck!

- That's it, I'm going in there.

- [Scooby] Was anyone in my room today?

- Is everything okay?

(footsteps thudding)

- My CD case like totally collapsed.

Gonna have to re-catalog all weekend.

(sighs) Hey, can you pass the salad over?

- Steak's really good tonight.

- Good.

- Do you have a lot of homework?

- I don't know.

- What do you mean, you don't know?

You either got a lot or you don't.

What's not to know?

- Marty.

- You started filling out your college applications yet?

- I'm not going to college.

- What are you gonna do?

- I don't know.

(cutlery clatters) - What do you know?

- Dad, I'm trying to figure things out right now, okay?

It's like, really hard

and I'm just listening to some old Elton John, and-

- Gay. - Out.

- What? - Leave the table.

- What? - You heard me.

Leave the table!

- Man, I'm outta here. This family is so fucked!

- Mom, it's not fair if Brady can say the F word

and I can't.

- Yeah well, Mikey, listen up, 'cause here's a lesson.

Life's not fair.

(cutlery clacking)

♪ Gonna have fun, fun, fun ♪

♪ In the sun, sun, sun ♪

♪ 'Cause you're the one, one, one ♪

♪ We're gonna have fun ♪

♪ We are gonna have fun ♪

- I'll talk to you later. - I'll see you later.

- Later. - Thanks, Esposito.

♪ In the sun, sun, sun ♪

- [Cheryl] Hey! (giggles)

(Consuelo groaning)

- Consuelo?

(Consuelo grunting)

Consuelo?

- Yes, Mikey?

- Do you have any brothers or sisters?

- Yes.

- Really? How many?

- Four brothers and five sisters.

- Wow.

But why did your parents have so many children?

I mean, if they were poor, wouldn't it be better

to just have one or two?

- (sighs) It was God's will.

- But do you really believe in God?

In heaven, hell, and angels and all that kind of stuff?

- No.

(cutlery clacking)

- So how was school today?

- The same.

- Same. Same as what?

- Just the same.

- We're studying the Holocaust in social studies.

- Oh, yeah?

- We did the same thing last year also.

- How is the class?

- I'm supposed to watch "Schindler's List" for homework.

The movie's like almost four hours.

Then I'm supposed to write a report on survivors.

You know any survivors, Dad?

- Hmm, well. Do I know any?

Personally?

- Well, technically, your Zeda is a survivor.

- He was in a concentration camp?

- Well, no, but he had to escape the Nazis.

- But I thought he came over to America before the war?

- Well, he did, with his family,

but his cousins, they had to stay and they were all killed,

and if he'd stayed, he would've been killed.

So in my book, he's a survivor.

- Even though it was only his cousins that were killed?

- (sighs) But that could've happened to him,

or, or to me, if I'd been alive, or you.

- Or me?

- You mean, then we're all survivors?

- Well, yes.

If it hadn't been for Hitler,

he wouldn't have had to leave Europe.

We would've been European.

- But then, in a sense,

since you would've never have met Dad

if your family had stayed in Europe,

if it weren't for Hitler none of us would've been born.

- Get the hell outta here!

- Man! It's just, like, conversation.

(chair rasping)

- Tell me, you make a living at this?

- Well, sir, uh, I'm actually not doing this for the money.

When you make a documentary, uh, you do it for many reasons,

but money is certainly not one of them.

- I don't get it.

- Well, sir, uh, (sighs)

A lot has happened to the landscape

of the suburban high school since I was a student.

And I feel it would be a valuable,

perhaps even enlightening endeavor,

to chronicle the changes,

to get intimate with the realities

kids and parents face in American schools today.

- Yeah, well, whatever.

I'll let you know if there's interest.

(phone ringing)

- Excuse me, where's the bathroom?

(door clicks and creaks)

(Toby sighs) (urine trickles)

(Toby exhales sharply)

- You a pervert?

- No. Uh. (chuckles)

(Toby groans)

Uh, actually, I'm a, I'm a documentary filmmaker.

- Oh. You mean like "Blair Witch Project"?

- Uh, well, no. Um. (chuckles)

Uh, I'm doing one on high school students, in fact.

- What for?

- Well, it's kind of, um.

(hand bangs)

(Toby clicks tongue)

It's kind of a sociological study

on the aftermath of Columbine.

- Is this, like, to get into Sundance?

- Yeah, well, it's possible they would be interested in it.

Yeah.

- Doubt it.

- Actually, there is some interest

from the Sundance Channel.

- Whoopee.

- HBO and MTV have also shown some interest. So.

- So you have connections?

(insects chirping)

- You see, we're trying to do a film on suburban lifestyles.

Eh, kind of an "American Family" for the new millennium.

- I thought this was about kids getting into college?

- Oh, uh, it is. I mean, um.

- Which is it? You got to keep your focus straight.

- Uh, (chuckles) yeah, uh, yeah, well,

you're, you're absolutely right, um.

The, the focus is on the college admissions process today.

- And you want Scooby to be the focus of all this?

- Yeah, Scooby and a few other students

of different socioeconomic backgrounds.

- You didn't mention any other students before.

- Oh well, I-I don't have any yet, but uh-

- Either Scooby is the focus or forget it.

- Yeah, I thought I was the focus.

- I wanna be the focus.

(hand slaps) (Mikey exclaims)

- Eh! - Toby, (sighs)

We need this to be a positive experience.

- Yeah, um, well, I suppose I could, I could reconceive.

- Reconceive.

- 'Cause Scooby does have a quality

that I've been looking for.

He had a quality that is emblematic of America today.

It's part disillusionment, part hope,

- Twinkies!

- Boys, take napkins. Napkins.

- (clears throat) Not to be crass,

but what do we get out of this?

- (laughs) Don't worry, he, he doesn't mean money.

- Oh, I know. (chuckles) I know that.

Um, well, sharing your story,

your, your ups and downs and so forth,

can, I hope, be an illuminating experience.

- Yeah. How do we know we won't be exploited?

- No, it, it's true.

- Yeah, Mr. Livingston, I fully understand

and I share your concerns.

You feel vulnerable.

And I know that this is a very difficult question,

but what it comes down to is,

can you make the leap of faith in me,

in the same way that I have to make

the leap of faith in you?

- This is a great school.

I don't care what anybody says.

I mean, it's not perfect,

but like the people are really cool,

like the teachers and kids, they really care and all.

And I know, they, they make fun of New Jersey all the time,

but I don't care, 'cause they're just snobs.

'Cause Jersey is where America's at!

(team yelling and cheering)

- [Toby] Walking down these hallways,

hallways just like the ones I once walked down

as a teenager, I couldn't help thinking back

to a time when every day I woke up depressed,

suicidal, consumed by despair.

Had things changed?

Was the competition to get into the most prestigious schools

still a requisite rite of passage?

Beneath these masks of courtesy and friendliness,

I knew that there were darker forces at work.

And I knew that Scooby was the key to revealing the truth.

Scooby, Scooby, Scooby.

What are you thinking?

College, SATs, your parents,

your brothers, your friends.

How is it you deal with all this stress?

- The pressure to get into the college

of your choice is incredible.

You know, they did a study recently

of the youth in Bosnia during the bombing,

and they found that the stress

the young people experience there

was less than what American high school students go through

when applying to college.

- [Toby] Is that right?

- Yeah, - My God.

(editor sighs)

So what do you think?

- Well, I'm not really sure what you're trying to say.

It's funny, I suppose.

(Toby sighs) But it seems glib and facile

to make fun of how idiotic these people are.

- I'm not making fun.

Ah, I'm showing it as it really is.

- You're showing how superior you are to your subject.

- No, but I-I like my subject. I like these people.

- No, you don't, - Yes, I do! I love them!

- The camerawork's nice.

- Thanks.

I'll tell Mike.

Well. Uh, - No.

- It's still just the beginning.

Oh, I know I can dig deeper.

(bright sanguine music)

- But Marj. May I call you Marj?

What it really boils down to is,

what does it mean to be a Jew?

Exactly, Tzedakah, charity.

And the new wing at Beth Israel is real.

Well, actually, last year you gave $500.

But this year, $1,000 would not only be a mitzvah,

it would bring you to a new level.

Yes, of course, your gift would also give you

a Chagall menorah and two tickets

to the dinner dance this spring.

Because it's true.

Israel needs us now.

(Consuelo groans) If not now, when?

(Consuelo panting)

That's wonderful.

I- I'll speak to you next week.

You too. Take care.

(Consuelo exhaling sharply) (door clatters)

Hi, Scooby.

Scooby. Scooby?

How was school today?

- Fine.

- Ready for tomorrow?

- What's tomorrow?

- The SATs, knucklehead. (chuckles)

- I'm not taking them.

(cutlery clacking) (Marty sighs)

- Just back!

(Marty clears throat)

- [Mikey] Mom?

- [Fern] Yes, Mikey?

- I was looking through one of Scooby's SAT practice books

this afternoon and I took one of the practice tests.

Guess what score I got?

- [Fern] What?

- 550 verbal, 520 math, and I'm only in fifth grade.

(knuckles rapping)

- [Marty] Scooby?

- Yeah?

- We have to talk.

- What do you wanna talk about?

- Don't screw around with me,

you know what I'm talking about.

You're taking those SATs.

You're taking those SATs or your CD collection's history.

You're taking those SATs and you're going to college.

You're taking those SATs

if I have to strap your ass to a chair,

but buddy, you are taking 'em!

- Okay.

- Hm! I'm tired of this shit.

(door thuds)

- [Toby] So were you surprised

that, uh, Scooby took the SATs after all?

- [Brady] Not really. He's kind of a wuss.

- [Toby] Okay, uh, how about you, Cheryl?

Were, uh, were you surprised?

- I don't know. Whatever,

(Toby chuckles)

- Hey, how come you drive such a shitty car?

- Yeah. (Toby chuckles)

- I don't know. (Cheryl laughs)

Uh, that's interesting though.

A cool car, is that, is that something

that's real important to you, Brady?

- Yeah. - A cool car?

Yeah? - Duh.

- [Scooby] Pretty cool, Stanley.

- Thanks.

- How'd you get it?

- It's, it's my dad's.

He hides it under some old "TV Guides" in his closet.

- Gee, your dad's smart.

- Yeah, I know.

- Is it loaded?

- No, I don't think so.

Scooby, don't! Be careful!

- I'm not an idiot, man. I watch TV.

- I-I know. I-I'm sorry.

I'm just a little nervous.

I don't know why.

- You should be. (Stanley gasping)

Here. You can keep it.

- Scooby?

- Yeah?

- You know. (sighs)

I- I like you.

- Yeah, I know.

- [Stanley] I mean.

- I know. Everyone knows.

- Oh.

Um. Do you think?

Do you think that you'd let me, um.

- Okay.

If you feel like it.

Just gimme a sec.

You want some? - No, thanks.

(CD clatters)

♪ I was surprised ♪

♪ I was happy for a day ♪

♪ In 1975 ♪

♪ I was puzzled by a dream ♪

♪ It stayed with me all day ♪

♪ In 1995 ♪

♪ My brother had confessed he was gay ♪

♪ It took the heat off me for a while ♪

♪ He stood up with a sailor friend ♪

♪ Made it known upon my sister's wedding day ♪

(fire roaring) (Marty and Fran yelling)

- I'm so sorry!

I should never have made you take the SATs.

(Marty and Fran screaming)

God, I'm burning to death!

Scooby, I'll never do it again!

- Hey, Scooby. - Made you take the SATs!

- [Conan] How's it going?

- Conan O'Brien? Whoa.

What are you doing here?

- I'm looking for a last-minute guest for my show.

Any suggestions?

- I'll be your guest.

- Really? Well, all right.

Let's take a look at the television and see how we look.

- [Scooby] Cool.

(audience applauding) - Welcome to the show, Scooby.

- Thank you. - Nice, nice to have you here.

- Great to be here. - And thank you

for dressing up for us.

This is very classy, (audience laughing)

Uh, tell us, what kind of professional plans do you have?

What's in your future?

- Well, I was thinking I might work for you.

- Uh, tell me, what do you,

what do you wanna do for me?

What's, what's your idea?

- Be your sidekick. (audience chuckles)

You know, and, and maybe, eventually,

become a TV talk show host.

- TV talk show host? Okay.

You were at sidekick eight seconds ago,

then TV talk show host.

You'll be a Latin dictator in about a minute.

Let's see what they think of the first idea.

I'm curious what the audience thinks.

Folks, what do you think, should Scooby be my new sidekick?

(audience applauding and cheering)

Wow.

Scooby, new sidekick,

everybody. - Oh, man.

- [Audience] Yeah! Scooby!

(knuckles rapping)

- [Scooby] Yeah?

- Hey. - Hey.

What's up?

- (sighs) There's something I need to talk about with you.

- What?

- There are some rumors.

- Like what?

- You know. Stanley.

(Brady sighs)

- Huh.

- Like, don't take this the wrong way.

I'm, I mean, I'm cool,

but you know,

I've got a good reputation at school.

Well, I really don't want it ruined.

- No problem.

I'm cool.

- Thanks.

(door thuds)

(players thudding and groaning)

- [Player] Go, go, go!

(whistle trills)

- Esposito, what the fuck do you think you're doing?

You're tackling like a bitch on my football team, son!

You better bend your ass over

and hit somebody, you understand me?

- Yes, sir!

- Do you understand me? - Yes, sir!

- Then do it!

Livingston! That's the way to hit that hole, son.

We're gonna become a football team today, guys!

Let's move the ball!

Move, move, move!

- Break! - I wanna see

you hit those holes.

Defense, fill those goddamn gaps!

Let's go, guys. Let's do it!

- [Cheerleaders] Yes, yes!

A little bit rowdy.

- [Player] Set left, set left.

Red 17!

Red 17! Hut!

Hut! Hut!

(players thudding and groaning)

(ball whooshing)

- Come on! (players grunting)

- [Spectator] That's it, boys, that's it, boys!

(spectators clapping)

(cheerleaders chanting)

(cheerleader cheering)

(hospital staff chattering)

- [Orderly] Keep moving!

(monitor beeping)

(intubator whooshing)

- When I'm in high school, I'm not gonna play any football.

I'm just gonna concentrate on class rank.

What did you do in high school?

- I did not go to high school.

- Weren't there high schools in El Salvador?

- [Consuelo] We had to work. My family was poor.

- It must have been hard being poor.

- I am still poor.

- Hmm, but Consuelo,

even though you're poor,

don't you have any hobbies or interests or anything?

- No, Mikey.

- But like, what do you like to do when you're not working?

- I am always working.

- But when you're not, like now, what do you like to do?

- This is work.

- But it's not like real work.

This is just babysitting.

You know, your job's really not so bad,

if you think about it.

You should smile more.

(gentle bright music)

- [Toby] When the sky is clear and the sun is warm,

you're reminded of how beautiful things can be.

A lamppost, a sign,

a straw wrapper blowing in the wind.

But when that dark cloud appears, you realize

how fragile the balance of life is.

- When Brady first arrived at the hospital,

he was unresponsive to verbal stimuli.

Uh, we performed a CT scan which demonstrated

a large subdural hematoma with mass effect,

Uh, since the removal of the subdural, he's been in a coma.

- When I first met the Livingstons

it was in the first 24 hours of Brady coming in

after his tragic football accident,

and they were acting in a fairly typical way.

- We're not the ones that need the help.

My son needs help.

My son's in there, - And you wanna know

what to do to help him, - He can't even feed himself.

He can't, I don't even know

if he's gonna be a vegetable or not, for Christ's sake!

- [Toby] But what about Scooby?

How would this affect him?

What meaning is to be found in this?

- This is definitely better.

- You think so?

You don't think that this might not be a little dry?

- This is not an entertainment you're making.

Toby, this story about a kid in the suburbs

and the state of the college admission process,

has, with this Brady crisis,

evolved into something much richer and more provocative.

- Yes, I know.

But it still, it should be somewhat entertaining.

- I mean, without this footage,

without this rigorous documentation,

it would feel like exploitation.

- No, no, no, no.

No, no exploitation, this is serious.

But I mean, don't you find it a little funny, too,

at the same time? (laughs)

- You've got a family tragedy on your hands.

Will you tell me what's funny about that?

About a kid in a coma?

- Nothing, I guess. - I mean,

why are you making this documentary

if you can't treat your subject with appropriate gravity?

- Okay, you're right, you're right. You're right.

(Toby chuckles)

You know, we need to screen what we've got.

Invite some regular people,

just some random off-the-street types

and, and, and see what real people think of this.

- I don't know, Toby.

We really have a long way to go.

You still need to get a lot more footage

and it's probably a little premature to start-

- Okay, then we can invite serious intellectual types.

- We're not ready, - Hip alternative types

who'll understand the process. - Toby, we're not ready!

We are not ready! - Well, I need to see this

with an audience.

- What's an audience gonna tell you?

- I don't know.

Maybe they'll like it.

(Toby sighs)

(ice clatters)

- Consuelo! I spilled some grape juice on the floor.

Consuelo? (sighs)

Consuelo?

(Consuelo sobbing)

Consuelo. Are you crying?

- No.

- Yes, you are. I can tell.

What's the matter?

(Consuelo sniffles)

(Consuelo speaks Spanish)

- Speak English.

(Consuelo speaks Spanish)

- Consuelo, I'm sorry, but you know

if you don't speak English I can't understand you.

- (inhales deeply) My Jesus.

- Who is Jesus?

- (sniffles) My baby.

- You have a baby?

- My grandchild baby.

- Gee, I didn't even know you had any children.

But why are you so upset about Jesus?

- He is dead.

- Oh. How did that happen?

- (exhales deeply) He was executed.

He was on death row

and then he was executed.

- How did they execute him?

- Poison gas.

- Maybe it's for the best.

I mean, if he was guilty of doing something wrong.

People who are bad should be killed.

Don't you think so?

- Jesus was not bad.

- Maybe he was and you just didn't know it.

- He wasn't.

- But still, you can't be sure.

- I am sure.

- But really, you never know.

- I know!

- Why was he on death row?

- For rape and murder.

- Consuelo, what is rape, exactly?

- It is when you love someone

and they don't love you,

and you do something about it.

- Sometimes I feel like my parents don't love me.

- Well, then, when you get older,

you can do something about it.

(Consuelo sobbing)

- Consuelo? I spilled some grape juice upstairs.

Do you think you could clean up the floor now?

(bright upbeat music) ♪ We're gonna have fun ♪

♪ We are gonna have fun, fun, fun ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ In the sun, sun, sun ♪

(switch clicks)

- Dad?

Do you think that Brady will ever get better?

- One-in-a-million recover.

- Maybe he's that one-in-a-million.

- Mikey, there's optimism

and then there's stupidity.

It's a very fine line.

- I don't think there's any hope either.

I was just trying to make you feel better.

- Thanks.

- You're welcome,

Dad?

Would you let me try hypnotizing you now?

(Marty sighs)

- Yeah, sure. Go ahead, hypnotize me.

- Okay, stay there. I'll be right back.

Just a sec! Be right there.

(footsteps thudding)

Could you turn around to me?

Just turn. Thanks.

All right, you must look at this shiny object

and concentrate.

Relax your legs.

Relax your arms.

Relax your shoulders.

Now keep your eyes on the shiny object.

Your eyelids are getting heavy.

Heavier.

You're getting sleepy.

Sleepier.

Now let your eyes close shut.

And you are sound asleep.

Now you are completely under my power.

I am the only voice you can hear,

the only voice you will listen to.

And now, when you wake up,

you will be in a good mood.

You won't worry so much about Brady

and I will be your favorite from now on.

If Brady dies, you can be sad for a little bit,

but I will still be the most important person in your life.

You will never be mean to me

and always give me whatever I want.

Also, you should fire Consuelo.

She's lazy.

Now, when I snap my fingers,

you will remember nothing,

but you will do everything I have asked.

One, two,

three. (snaps fingers)

(Marty inhales deeply)

(Marty clear throat)

- Hey, Mikey, you wanna get some ice cream?

- Okay!

(gentle upbeat music)

- It's like, (sighs) yeah, I-I caved in.

I mean, I had to.

My parents, they're like still really depressed about Brady.

So I wrote the bullshit essay,

filled out the applications, did the interviews.

You know, I figure I can always drop out.

- [Toby] So where'd you get in?

- Princeton.

- [Toby] But wh-what did you get on your SATs?

- Uh, 200 verbal, 710 math.

Kinda weird, I know,

but I think they thought it was, like,

good weird.

- We used pull.

- You know, you have to.

Sometimes you just have to, Toby.

- [Toby] What kind of pull did you have?

- I have a cousin.

A very big giver to the alumni fund.

- It's all about who you know.

- Look, we're not suckers.

Everyone else is out there doing the same thing.

- He's right.

- Damn, Toby. - It's too hard.

- This thing won't open again. - Don't.

Let me try it. Let me try it.

It's, um, yes, the button is just stuck.

- Hey, hey, Toby? - Hey, man.

- I was wondering.

Is the documentary almost finished?

- Uh, yeah, we're getting there.

- Can I see what you have so far?

- Sure, uh, yeah, as soon as I have a screening,

I'll let you know.

- Thanks, man. - Okay, man.

- Okay.

- Gin, I win.

(door thuds)

Let's play again.

- [Marty] (sighs) Hey, Mikey!

- Hey, Dad, - Come here and gimme a hug.

Come here!

- Gee, you're home early.

- Yeah.

Uh, listen, why don't you go upstairs

and keep your mom and Brady company for a bit?

I need to speak alone with Consuelo for a moment.

- Sure, Dad, - Take off.

(clears throat) Consuelo.

Um, Mrs. Livingston and I have,

uh, discussed this

and we've come to the conclusion

that we are not very happy with your work lately,

so we're going to let you go.

- I-I don't understand.

- We've been happy with you in the past,

but now we think maybe it's time for a change.

Uh, I know you've had trouble at home.

And, and, and maybe, you know,

some of that is reflecting on your work.

- [Consuelo] But, Mr, Livingston, I work very hard for you

and your family. - I understand.

I understand that.

And, and, and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry it had to end this way.

(Consuelo sobbing)

(solemn music)

(phone beeping)

(phone line ringing)

- Florsheim, can I help you?

- [Scooby] Hi, I'm trying to reach Toby Oxman.

- Sorry, he's off today.

- Okay.

Um. Thanks.

(phone beeps)

♪ I'm coming over in the wrong direction ♪

♪ I only wanna be the center of your attention ♪

♪ For long enough to show you ♪

♪ I'm worth the trouble that you take ♪

(energetic upbeat music)

♪ I wanna see the way that you portray ♪

♪ A boy who's gonna try to change his life today ♪

- [Scooby] Hey, Mike, uh, is Toby here?

- Uh, no, he's not.

- [Scooby] Oh. Uh, do you have any idea where he might be?

- Uh, I think he's at a test screening.

♪ I wanna see the way that you portray ♪

♪ A boy who maybe doesn't have too much to say ♪

♪ And you can draw your own conclusions ♪

♪ But you'll find I'm not a fake ♪

♪ You can turn away from me ♪

♪ But there's nothing that'll keep me here, you know ♪

♪ And you'll never be the city guy ♪

♪ Any more than I'll be hosting The Scooby Show ♪

(audience laughing)

- I think Scooby's like a lot of kids.

He just hit a, a speed bump.

Now he's gonna find his way,

uh, his path's gonna be clear,

and I think he's gonna continue his education

at a good college.

And uh, everybody else is gonna be happy.

- [Toby] Yeah, (clears throat) um, Mr. Livingston,

aren't you a bit fearful that Scooby

will be confronted with hollow values

and systemic conformism?

(audience chuckles)

- (exhales deeply) I don't know why this is so hard

for you to comprehend.

I had a terrific time in college.

I've got a terrific job, a comfortable salary,

terrific wife, three terrific kids,

and every year I give to the alumni fund.

Now, why are you trying to make college out

to be a bad thing?

A negative experience? You had a bad time?

Well, too bad! Get over it!

Stop trying to impose your misery on others

by going around saying, "Life is bad,

life is horrible."

Life is tough on you? Well, boo-hoo!

(audience laughing)

- Well, yeah, My dad is kind of a goofball.

You just have to pretend to go along with his ideas,

'cause he really doesn't get it.

Like, I could be the next Oprah

for all he knows,

but he's never even seen the show.

(audience laughing)

- [Toby] What is most important to you?

- I don't know. (sighs)

I'd, I'd like to be good at, at something.

You know, it doesn't have to be TV.

I mean, it could be movies. Anything.

I- I'd be willing to direct.

(audience laughing)

But I'd like to be,

you know, famous.

Not necessarily a superstar.

Just famous.

Be recognized.

Get fan mail and things.

- [Toby] Uh, Scooby, now I understand

how you wanna be like a TV talk show host and all,

like Conan O'Brien, but did you know

that even he went to college?

- He did? - Yeah.

(audience laughing) Uh, he went to Harvard.

- Oh. (audience continues laughing)

(audience applauding)

- [Reporter] One police officer, eight others were wounded,

before he tried to kill- - Mom?

Dad? - Identified as Bruce Evan.

- [Mikey] Can I sleep with you?

I- I-I'm scared.

- Sure, buddy. Come on.

- Come in bed with us. Come on.

(Fern sighs)

- Snug as a bug in a rug. (Fern giggles)

Yeah, there you go, pally, all right.

You're monster-proofed. - Hm.

(insects chirping)

(key rattles)

(door clicks)

(gas whooshing)

(pipe rattling)

(gas hissing)

(door thuds)

(gas continues hissing)

(birds chirping)

(tires crunching)

(bus engine rumbling)

(crowd chattering)

- Stand by. (police radio chatter)

(truck engine rumbling)

(sirens wailing)

(crowd chattering)

(police radio chatter)

(truck beeping)

- Scooby.

Oh my God, Scooby.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

- Don't be.

The movie's a hit.

(truck engine rumbling)

(bright upbeat music)

♪ Picture a scene in your mind ♪

♪ Look at all the people ♪

♪ And take note of the setting behind ♪

♪ Listen, watch and wait ♪

♪ A plot begins to take shape ♪

♪ There's a story ♪

♪ And then characters will come to you ♪

♪ Relating events as they choose to ♪

♪ But all their words and actions ♪

♪ Come entirely from you ♪

(bright upbeat music continues)

♪ If you're a storyteller ♪

♪ You might think you're without responsibility ♪

♪ And you can lead your characters anywhere you want ♪

♪ You have immunity ♪

(bright upbeat music continues)

♪ Have you considered the way ♪

♪ People might react to all the things ♪

♪ That your characters say ♪

♪ And are their actions hand-in-hand ♪

♪ With what you wanted to portray ♪

♪ Are you sick ♪

♪ Are you crippled, insane ♪

♪ Expressing the desires that daren't speak their name ♪

♪ Are you the one to be blamed ♪

♪ Now you're a storyteller ♪

♪ You might think you're without responsibility ♪

♪ But in directions, actions and words ♪

♪ Cause and effect ♪

♪ You need consistency ♪

(bright upbeat music continues)

♪ How can you finish the tale ♪

♪ Lives which have played a part ♪

♪ Are summarized from the very start ♪

♪ And episodes left out ♪

♪ To make it all go your way ♪

♪ It's a mighty big world ♪

♪ Some of it I've seen ♪

♪ But mostly I've only heard ♪

♪ And stories are all fiction from their moment of birth ♪

(bright upbeat music continues)

♪ You're just a storyteller ♪

♪ You're not trying to escape responsibility ♪

♪ If we believe you then you're successful ♪

♪ But you don't make claims of verity ♪

♪ You're just a storyteller ♪

♪ You're not trying to escape responsibility ♪

♪ If we believe you then you're successful ♪

♪ But you don't make claims of verity ♪

(bright upbeat music continues)

(bright upbeat music continues)