Original subtitles

"BEING THE BEST AT BEING THE BEST WAS NOT MY THING,

SO I DECIDED TO BE THE BEST AT BEING THE WORST."

CLARK OLOFSSON

[suspenseful piano music playing]

[bicycle bell rings]

[woman screams]

Ow!

Ow! Goddamn it!

- Get this piece of shit out of me! - [midwife] Give it a push, Mrs. Olofsson.

Shut the fuck up! [panting]

[screams] Watch my cigarette!

[midwife] Calm down, Mrs. Olofsson.

You goddamn little brat!

- [midwife] Calm down. - [screams]

[Mrs. Olofsson, muffled] Out you come, you little shit!

[man] They yelled at me to get me to come out,

but I've always hated it when people tell me what to do,

so I tried to stay put as long as I could.

But I guess it was time.

And I've never liked being locked up.

The entire world was waiting for me out there.

Parties, banks, the babes, and all that other fun shit.

[in man's voice] Goddamn it, let's rock-and-roll.

Yee-haw!

[Mrs. Olofsson and baby screaming]

[man sighs] Freedom.

My first escape.

It's a baby boy.

[gasps] Oh, my boy!

- And what a voice he has! [sighs] - [midwife] He's beautiful.

Everybody immediately saw that I wasn't just any kid.

I was special, and I've been like that all my life.

[Mrs. Olofsson gasps]

Really damn special.

[Mrs. Olofsson panting]

That's some power!

All right, I'll tell you the whole damn story. From the top.

I'm gonna name him Clark, like Clark Gable.

Clark Oderth Olofsson.

The whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I promise.

[news bulletin music playing]

[news reporter] The entire Norrmalmstorg is filled with police cars.

...but a telephone interview we did with Clark Olofsson inside the bank.

[Clark] You have probably heard of me

because of the infamous drama at Norrmalmstorg.

- [explosion] - [woman screams]

[news reporter] Go live! Go live!

[Clark] Just so you know, I was forced into that crap.

The entire thing with the Stockholm syndrome...

taking hostages, becoming world famous - all of that.

- [camera shutters clicking] - It's a prolonged drama.

Well, I had a blast during those days, but I've done a lot of other stuff too.

THE END - IT WAS CLARK!

BASED ON TRUTHS AND LIES

But let's start from the beginning.

HÄLLSKRIFTS ROAD 4 1952

- [Ingbritt laughs] - [man] Damn good song.

- Yeah, I love this song. - Yeah, me too.

[Clark] Always the same question.

"Clark, could you tell me about your childhood?

About your parents?"

If I had been given a penny

every time some half-witted psychologist asked me that question,

I wouldn't have had to rob all those banks.

[Ingbritt screams]

[man yells]

What was that? Ow!

- [banging on ceiling] - [laughs] Yee-haw!

- [neighbor] What the hell are you doing?! - [man screams]

- Did you just smash a bottle on my head? - Yeah.

- Goddamn, I love you! - Yeah.

- [banging] - [man] Come here. Let's dance.

[neighbor] What the hell are you doing in there?!

[man humming along to music]

- [gun clicks] - [Clark] Bang.

- [man] Come on, honey. - Now you're dead.

Okay, look at the camera.

["Zing En Lille Zong" playing]

I guess we were like most other families - normal, with a lot of love.

[children chattering]

I took care of myself and I was successful with the ladies,

and I liked them a lot.

[man yells]

[woman gasps]

Like I said, pretty normal.

Yeah! What the hell's wrong with you?!

What are you looking at, you stupid fucking neighbors?!

[Ingbritt] Sten! How am I supposed to take a bath now?

- [slap] - [Sten] Shut up!

- [boy 1] He's stealing my bike! - [boy 2] Stop!

[boy 1] Clark, goddamn it!

[bell ringing]

Clark, where are you?

And, well, the ladies...

I've always fallen in love easily.

Full marks, Clark.

You're such a good boy.

- It's as if it goes "ding." - [bell dings]

I've been in love every freakin' day of my entire life.

I love you.

[music playing on radio]

What the hell are you doing? Get a fucking grip!

Come on. Hurry up, damn it, you lazy fucking asshole idiot fucks!

Goddamn it! This isn't a goddamn retirement home, huh!

Do you want a taste?

It will cost you a kiss.

On the cheek.

And the ladies haven't been able to stay away from me either,

and I love them, all of them,

all different kinds.

["Varm Korv Boogie" playing]

[boy] And two cigarettes.

And making money has always been easy too.

- [boy 2] One cinnamon roll and a beer. - For lunch?

Already as a ten-year-old,

I earned more cash than Mom and Dad together,

and money gave me the one thing that I truly cared about -

freedom.

[woman] Freedom is the right to speak, think, and act however you like.

[Clark] And Ulla from my dad's bakery, she was my first.

[Clark] Ulla?

Clark?

I'd worked her for a while,

and finally, she agreed.

[Ulla] All right, come here.

["Varm Korv Boogie" crescendos]

Ah, Ulla. She was quite something.

[man] One hot dog.

I've been in love my entire life.

I've robbed a shedload of banks, partied, fucked a whole lot,

and never worked a single day in my entire life,

but always had money.

- Ronny, he's stealing your moped! - What are you doing, you brat?! Come back!

[siren wailing]

I've never followed anybody's rules,

except my own, and I've always had a ton of fun.

[fighting grunts]

[judge] Six months' juvenile detention.

[siren wailing]

[Clark] I couldn't care less about what people feel about me.

I am who I am, and I will never apologize for it.

Four months' detention.

[fighting grunts]

Don't touch me! Amateur.

- Give me the money. Hand it over! - [judge] Seven months in prison.

[alarm ringing]

Yee-haw! Ha-ha!

Let's switch.

[Clark] I've built my career with my own two hands,

and it's gone really well, and I don't regret a thing.

If I couldn't be the best at being the best,

then I'd sure as hell be the best at being the worst.

- Let's do it again. - [giggling]

- [man 1] How hard can it be? - [man 2] So do it yourself.

- [man 1] Haven't you rowed a boat? - [man 2] Maybe I haven't.

[man 1] What have you done all your life?

- At least steer in that direction. - It's fucking difficult.

- Come on, he's doing his best. - Is he really, though?

- It's not his fault he's a dumbass. - I'm fucking trying!

[man 1] I'll help you. Let me show you. Come here.

[man 1 moans]

- What are you doing?! - Fuck him real good!

[man 1] Guys, this is really boring.

- We got to find some babes. - [man 3] How are we gonna get babes here?

- [man 1] Damn, I'm horny. - You're horny all the time.

I really have to take a leak.

[man 3 chuckles] How the hell would you get a girl?

You think you get more than me?

- I know I get more than you. - [man 1] Bullshit.

- [man 3] How many girls have I been with? - [man 1] Two.

[man 3] That's one more than you've had. Twice as many as you.

Hey, hey, hey. Check out that place.

- It looks kind of posh. Let's go there. - It looks like they've got dogs, though.

What's the deal with you and dogs, Gunnar?

I-I hate dogs!

Untrustworthy, stupid goddamn animals.

Shut up, Gunnar. Just row there.

- [man 3] Come on, Gunnar. Hurry up. - Move it. Go sit.

- [Gunnar] Let's see how good you are. - [man 1] You never been in a boat?

[Gunnar] It's not as easy as it looks.

- [man 3] Watch Ekis do it. - [Gunnar] That's what I did.

- [man 3] Oh, come on. Chill. - [Gunnar mutters] You guys are the worst.

[Clark] Hurry up.

- [man 3] You can't row either. - [Ekis] Sit down.

[indistinct bickering]

- [Gunnar] Congrats, you can row a boat. - [Ekis] More than you can.

[Gunnar] Piece of shit.

What the hell is this place, huh?

[inhales deeply]

Come on.

- I really have to take a leak. - Take it easy!

- [Clark] Shh! - What the...?

[Clark] Come on.

- Who owns this fucking place? - I don't know.

- I don't know. - Shh!

- Keep it down. - Think they have money?

- Sure, whatever. - [Clark] Shut up. Morgan...

[Morgan] Yeah, sure.

- [Morgan] What are you doing? - [hushing]

[Gunnar] What is this place?

- [Ekis] Move it! I need to pee! - [Morgan] Knock it off!

- Sod off! - Calm down, you moron.

- [Ekis] Oh, finally. - [Morgan] What's this?

- [Ekis moans] - Tomatoes.

[moaning and urination continues]

Well, what do we have here? Huh?

Rémy Martin XO Special.

Yeah? What's that? Whiskey?

[scoffs] Cognac, you stupid moron.

Sit down, dammit. You might learn something for once.

Yeah, sure. [sigh]

A little splash for you.

- Come on. Hurry up. - [grunts] What the hell?! I'm pissing!

[Clark sighs]

- First, you got to sniff it. - Okay. [sniffs]

- [Clark] Yeah. - [Morgan groans]

Well, well. What have we got here?

- [Clark] Mm. - [Morgan groans]

Oh.

[Gunnar] Can I try some?

What the hell are you doing, huh?!

- You fucking idiot! - Sorry, I didn't...

This booze is top-notch.

It's cognac. Get a freakin' grip.

You drink it from a glass.

Brandy?

It's Martin Rémy.

- Huh? - It's fancy stuff.

- Pearls before swine. - Huh.

- Yeah... - [Clark sighs]

Who the hell lives like this, anyhow?

Well, some fancy bigshot, of course.

A damn capitalist swine.

[Morgan] Harpsund...

[coughs] What did you say?

- Well, Harpsund. - It's the name of the place.

Harpsund.

What? [sighs]

- Don't you know a goddamn thing? Huh? - [Morgan] What?

Harpsund, the prime minister's freakin' summer retreat.

- Nah. - It's true. I promise it is.

[door opens]

What are you doing here?

TAGE ERLANDER PRIME MINISTER OF SWEDEN 1946-1969

My cognac.

I just had a sip.

My vegetables.

- [Morgan] Run, Gunnar! Move it! - [Gunnar] Shit!

[Morgan] Come on, Gunnar! Run!

Oh, damn you... You damn kids!

[grunts]

- [whistle blowing] - [Morgan] Go to hell, you damn idiots!

- [guard] Hey, you! Security! - Freakin' dogs! I knew it!

[whistle blowing]

[Clark laughs]

- [Gunnar screams] - [dogs barking]

[Ekis] Just run, Gunnar! Do not panic now!

[man] Stop, you damn idiots! S-stop them!

[Ekis] Clark!

- [man] Come back, you bastards! - [Ekis] Clark!

- [Morgan] No, this way! - [man] Your last warning!

- Let the dogs loose on them! Stop there! - [Gunnar] Damn dogs!

Ow! What are you doing? Let's go.

[indistinct yelling]

- Gunnar! - Forget about him! Let's go. Come on.

[Clark] What the hell?

[Clark panting]

I've got you now, you little devil.

[Clark chuckles]

[Clark laughs]

What's so funny, you lowlife?

[Clark stifles laughter]

Nothing.

Nothing. But one day, this will be one hell of a story to tell. [panting]

I see.

So you recognize me?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm.

But I mean for you.

You can tell the story of when you had Clark Olofsson at gunpoint,

but missed him. [chuckles]

Clark Olofsson...

Never heard of him.

No, not yet,

but you will one day.

[dog barking]

Take cover, old men and crones,

because he's about to reload.

[shell casing rattles]

♪ The working Joes The working Joes are funny to behold ♪

♪ No tails, no tails ♪

[sighs] ♪ No cars ♪

[grunts]

[engine sputters]

[mutters] Oh, for fuck... Christ's sake!

[engine starts]

- Well, what's all this, then? - Take this, copper!

- Ow! - [laughs]

[tires squealing]

[revving intensifies]

[chuckles]

- What the actual fuck? - What the actual fuck?

[tires squealing]

[grunts]

[suspenseful orchestral music]

[telephone ringing]

[ringing continues]

- [coughs] - [man] Hello? Is anybody there?

I'd like to speak to Mrs. Olofsson.

- Ingbritt Olofsson. - I see.

Um... Good.

I regret to inform you that your son has died in a car accident.

What?

- Clark? - Yes.

He's at the hospital in Katrineholm.

I'm terribly sorry.

[hangs up]

[handset clatters]

[inhales sharply]

It wasn't me!

[Clark breathing heavily]

[laughs]

[groans]

[coughing] Hi there.

[Clark] Admit, you thought I was dead.

[indistinct chattering]

[photographer] Yes.

Hell, no. You won't get rid of me that easily.

- [camera shutter clicks] - Profile.

The other direction.

Damn, I looked good back then.

Mom thought I was dead too.

She brought Dad's old best suit so I could be buried in it.

It fitted perfectly and came in handy nonetheless.

[judge] As the accused has not yet come of age,

the accused is found guilty of violence against a public servant,

burglary and grand theft,

in accordance with the youth care regulation,

and sentenced to custody and care for 18 months,

to be served immediately.

- [indistinct chattering] - Ha!

Eighteen months. Was that the best they could do?

I'm sick and tired of seeing you here in court, Clark Oderth Olofsson.

Consider this a chance to change your life.

Absolutely.

From now on, I will obey the law.

I promise.

LÖVSTA YOUTH DETENTION CENTER 1966

[horn honks]

PENITENTIARY AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY

NO TRESPASSING AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY

Hi there, Nisse. Are you ready for another round?

Dammit, Clark, you're back.

[inmate] Olofsson!

About time. We need some fun in here.

- Welcome home. - What did you do?

Nothing.

- You know me. - [laughter]

I've never broken the law.

Well, maybe I haven't always been God's best child,

but being locked up sure doesn't make you better.

But it's no use sitting around, whining about it.

No. You just have to make the most of the situation.

And the best thing about serving time is that you have a clear goal.

Breaking out.

Well, Olofsson, what are you making here?

A ladder.

Pardon?

A ladder.

Hang on a sec.

You realize that you, of course, can't be making a ladder.

[chuckles] Just kidding.

It's a weed rake.

Check it out.

Like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I see.

Yes, good, Olofsson.

Keep it up.

[inmate 1] Hey, I'm free. Here, here.

- I'm free. Come on, shoot. No! - [inmate 2] Yeah.

[inmate 3] Come on!

[inmate 1] Yeah! Good one.

[players continue yelling]

[whistles discreetly]

[inmate 1] Come on, shoot, then.

[inmate 3] Here!

[inmate 1] Shoot. Forward!

[inmate 3] Go on, shoot! Yeah, yeah.

Pass it. Here! I'm free!

[inmate 4] Sundberg! Sundberg. Sundberg.

Okay, let's go.

[inmate 1] Yeah. Sundberg.

[inmate 4] Ah, sorry.

[Clark] Come on, dammit!

- Karlsson, where did he go? - [Karlsson] How should I know?

[inmates laugh]

[Karlsson] Did you check up your ass?

- [laughter continues] - What the hell...?

[Clark] Here we go.

- [Sundberg whistles] - You heard him.

[whistle blowing]

[alarm ringing]

After you, gentlemen. Freedom awaits.

[inmates cheering]

Olofsson!

Get down from there, this very instant!

- You hear me? - Go shit yourself, Sundberg!

[Sundberg] What the hell, Clark?!

NÄSET BEACH 1966

- [Clark] Come on, you damn morons. - [Ekis] Where are the babes?

[Morgan] Everywhere!

[Clark] I love being on the run. Everything just gets better.

Your senses are heightened, you see everything clearer,

and the colors are more intense.

- This is a good spot. - [Morgan] Yeah, sure.

- [Clark laughs] - Die, you disgusting bastards!

[seagulls squawking]

- Filthy rats of the sky! - [Morgan] Calm down, Gunnar. Dammit.

Even a bad day on the run is a good day.

[Ekis] Try it yourself.

But this day in particular was one hell of a day.

[Ekis grunts]

[Gunnar] I'll show you how to throw rocks.

[laughter]

[Gunnar] Try throwing it better.

- [Clark grunts] - [Morgan laughs] Good one, Ekis.

- [Ekis] Aren't you ready? Huh? - [Morgan] You also want to swim?

Clark!

Where are you going? Clark!

[Gunnar] Can't help it. Yeah.

Hang on. Where are you going?

I'm just nicking some watches.

[Morgan chuckles]

[Gunnar] How about that?

Holy freakin' hell!

- Look over there. - [Gunnar] Good one.

[Clark] Yeah.

Yeah, shit.

Look at that. [chuckles]

[panting] Oh, just forget it, Clark. You don't stand a chance.

Those are some classy babes, I tell you.

And I am Clark freakin' Olofsson.

Guys, he's gonna talk to the babes over there.

- Who? - [Gunnar] Shit! You mean those two?

[Clark] Her name was Madourie, but people called her Madou.

She was from another world. She was like an angel.

Good afternoon, ladies.

I fell head over heels.

Uh, may I be of some assistance?

The first love of my life.

- [woman scoffs] - [Clark] Ah!

- [young woman sighs] - You shouldn't have to...

- [cork pops] - [gasps]

- [Clark] Whoa, whoa! The good stuff. - Oh! [laughs]

- [Clark] There... - You like being punctual, I see.

Pardon?

Yeah, precisely. Yeah. Time waits for no man.

Have you attended Harvard?

Yeah. Harvard.

- [women laugh] - Exactly. I went there. Or I go there.

Well, please join us.

Thank you. How nice.

[Clark chuckles]

Oh, excuse me. Uh... John... Fredrik Svensson.

After John Wayne.

My name is Madou.

Madou. It's a pleasure.

This is my mother, Liz.

- Oh, hi. Hello, Liz. - Hi. Liz.

- Liz. - [Liz] A pleasure.

- [Clark] A pleasure. - [bell dings]

Really.

Well... my family lives in America.

But, uh... I'm here...

visiting some acquaintances.

Acquaintances? D-do you mean those guys?

Yeah.

Check it out, Clark!

No. [chuckles] No, no. They're way too immature.

- [Morgan] Clark! You have to share! - [Clark] No, I hardly know them.

[Clark's friends laughing and hollering]

- All for one and one for all! - Do you know what, John? I adore Harvard.

Yeah?

Yes. In fact, it was Madou's father's alma mater, Harvard.

- You're joking. - [Liz] No, it's true.

It's an exceptional university.

Yeah, it is excellent. I love it there.

It's... It's a good school. University. [chuckles awkwardly]

Ah, here you go.

- Oh, how nice. - [Liz] Let's see.

- Thank you very much. - There you go.

Yes, well...

I wanted to ask you,

you wouldn't happen to know if there is any good accommodation here in town,

where I might habituate for the night?

I happen to be sort of a free bird.

Uh... You know what?

We actually have a spare room at home.

You don't say?

I mean, it would be an honor to have a Harvard student as our guest tonight.

Well, yeah, it's very...

What do you say?

["Gröna Små Äpplen" playing]

So, when are you going back to America?

Well, I don't know yet. I'll play it by ear.

Oh, a Mercedes!

- Fancy! [chuckles] - [Liz] Mm.

Yeah, my dad has one just like it.

- What does your dad do? - Ah, all sorts of things.

Business and the like.

Thanks.

I'll jump in the back.

- What the...? - [engine starts]

What the hell?

[sighs] What the hell do we do now?

Calm down.

[Morgan] Come on. We're three guys at the beach.

- We'll have a great time. - [Gunnar] No, it's gonna suck.

["Gröna Små Äpplen" continues playing]

[Clark] Madou and her mother Liz...

Darn, they were fine ladies.

Both of them.

They lived in a large, impressive mansion in Västra Frölunda

without a man in the house.

A real castle for a queen and a princess.

The only thing missing was a king.

Here we are.

Thanks, John.

- Welcome to our humble abode. - It's lovely.

It's very lovely.

Here you go.

It's very lovely.

Oh, thank you very much.

Cheers, and welcome to the family.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

[jazz music playing]

- [Liz] Mm. - Oh.

What do we have here?

[sniffs]

Oh!

I recognize this smell.

- [Liz slurps] - Just kidding. [chuckles]

John, what are you studying?

- What? - At Harvard?

Precisely.

[slurps]

- At Harvard? Yeah. - [Liz] Mm.

Yeah, well, y-you know, a bit of everything.

I, um... [sighs]

Economics.

- [Madou] Mm? - [Clark] Finance and economics.

- Oh, really? - A bit of everything.

And, uh... um...

Capitalism and stuff like that.

Money systems, banks.

Um...

The acquisition of various currencies.

- Oh! How exciting. - Etcetera.

Yes, it is. [chuckles]

Is that something you would like to work with in the future?

Mother! Stop interrogating him like that. He doesn't need to talk about that now.

Oh, it's no bother, Madou. It's...

I don't mind talking about it.

Work, work. I-I want to...

I have some ideas, mainly concerning... banks.

and working a bit more with their money, which I think can be very profitable.

[Liz] Like investments?

Currency speculation?

Stocks maybe, or funds?

Yes, please.

[Liz slurps] Mm.

Or, no, r-rather, handling cash.

[Liz] Mm. Hmm.

Well, it sure seems like the right time. Fun.

Yeah. Yeah, it is. [inhales sharply]

- It is. - [Liz] Mm.

Well, um, it's time for another.

[Clark slurping]

Damn, that was good.

[birds cawing]

[clock ticking]

[sighs]

[sighs intensely]

[door creaks]

[floorboard creaks]

[door creaks]

[whispering] Psst! Madou?

John!

Hey. Are you awake?

What are you doing here?

Uh, I couldn't fall sleep.

Uh... Could I perhaps lie down next to you for a while? Just to have a talk.

What? No... [giggles]

No, no. Okay. We could skip the talking if you'd prefer that.

[Madou giggles]

[Clark panting and chuckling]

- John, John... - Yeah?

[sighs] I have to tell you something first.

Okay. What?

Well, I, um...

I have never...

Oh, you don't need to worry.

I've done it loads of times.

And, uh...

Uh, I promise to be gentle.

[sighs] Promise?

Yeah, of course.

Come here.

Let me know if it hurts.

[Clark moaning]

[Clark moans]

[Clark grunts]

[Clark sighs]

[Clark sighs]

Was that it?

Yep.

Pretty nice, huh?

Did you come too?

I don't know.

How do you know?

I think you came too.

[floorboard creaks]

[door creaks]

[grunts]

[floorboard creaks]

[door shuts]

[clock ticking]

[both moaning]

John!

[Clark moans intensely]

[both panting]

- Oh, Mommy. - [smack]

- I-I-I'm sorry. I misspoke. - Don't call me Mommy.

[slurps] Mm.

- [Madou] John, can you pass me the bread? - Mm. Of course.

Do you enjoy traveling, John?

Yeah. Who doesn't? Here you go.

- [Clark chuckles] - I like Italy.

[Madou] Mm.

- This is delicious. - [Liz] Mm.

- [Clark] Mm. - [Liz] We go there sometimes.

But, um...

Madou, she prefers France.

- Oh? France. - [Madou] Mm.

What's that like? [chuckles]

How nice.

- Oh! Well, hello there. - [Liz] Mm.

[Clark chuckles]

[Clark] Mm.

[Clark] Hmm.

- This is really tasty. - [Liz] Mm.

Well-needed after a night like last night.

[Madou and Liz giggling]

Cheers, ladies.

[butler] There you go.

[Clark] Thank you so much. [sighs]

Madou. Ah, Liz.

Oh. Ah.

So, uh, I'll see you soon.

[Madou] Mm.

I'd love to come again.

Well, as we used to say, mi casa, su casa.

Casa casa.

- [Madou] Bye. - [Clark] See you soon.

[Madou giggles]

[women giggling]

[grunts]

["Chris Craft No 9" playing]

[audio warps]

♪ Chris Craft number nine You're welcome aboard... ♪

NYKÖPING 29TH JULY 1966

["Christ Craft No 9" continues playing]

[Clark] Liz and Madou. What a package deal.

I loved them both, and I was happy to fuck Liz.

No problem.

But if I was gonna become Madou's boyfriend,

I'd have to brush up my act.

I'm gonna rob a freakin' bank.

[chuckles] Oh, shit.

- That sounds fun. - [sniffles]

I'm tired of these small gigs.

Cars, burglaries, the moonshine,

that shit's for pickpockets.

No, we've got to think bigger.

Sounds like a great...

Gunnar was no Einstein,

but he did as he was told and he was loyal as hell.

Hang on a sec.

[chuckles] Yeah, fun.

The only problem was that he was completely insane.

- Check this out. [chuckles] - [laughs]

What the hell, Gunnar?

Maybe we could use this doohickey.

[both laugh]

Well, where the hell did you get that thing?

Ah.

But why do we need sports stuff to rob a bank?

We don't need sports stuff.

After the bank robbery, we'll have to lay low and disappear.

It's just a quick in-and-out.

We'll nick a few things, like a tent, sleeping bags and shit like that.

What?

So we can set up camp in the forest. You get it?

- Oh. [chuckles] - Oh.

Okay. That's fun.

But, uh, why can't you just sleep at that girl's place?

What's her name? Malou?

No, can't do that.

And her name isn't Malou.

- No? - This is it. You stand guard.

[dog barking]

BOBERGS SPORTING GOODS & BICYCLES

- Everything cool, Gunnar? - Yeah.

Yeah, it's cool.

[sighs] Those goddamn fucking dogs!

Easy now. There we go.

- [lock clatters] - I'm in.

[chuckles] You can give this one, uh,

to that girl, Milou, as a little gift, huh?

I don't think that's her style.

Come on, girls love getting gifts.

It'll make her happy, and maybe even a little horny. [chuckles]

[cash register dings]

I think she has enough hats.

- And her name isn't Milou. - What? You're sure?

Help me carry this instead. [grunts] There we go.

Fucking piece of cake.

- Are you sure she doesn't want that hat? - Huh?

Maybe you want to bang her later.

You might get some, uh...

butt sex.

[Clark] Gunnar...

- What the hell is he doing here? - How we doing, boys?

Evening. [chuckles nervously]

What have you got there?

Some, uh... We're going camping.

Right.

- [policeman chuckles] - [Clark laughs nervously]

Come on, let's... let's drop this, okay?

You'll go your way and... we'll go our way.

You know it doesn't work like that.

[sighs] It's just some camping gear.

Uh... What have we got?

Uh, two sleeping bags and a... a tent.

Gas stove.

And a hockey helmet.

POLICE

I can put it back if it makes any goddamn difference.

- [policeman] Mm-hmm? - It's as tight as a nun's pussy anyway.

Shut up, Gunnar. [chuckles]

Guys, listen.

Hey, Ragnar. I think I know that guy.

[Clark chuckles nervously]

The one with the nun's pussy.

[Clark] You know, you can discuss as long as you want

what really happened that night...

Well, if it isn't little Gunnar Nordgren.

...and why Gunnar did what he did.

- What? What do you mean? - Yeah. You know, the guy who hates dogs.

But what's the sodding point?

Dog Gunnar.

What happened still happened.

- [policemen laughing] - Come on.

- [dog barking] - [Gunnar gasps]

- [Clark] Gunnar! - [Ragnar groans]

[Ragnar wheezing]

What the hell, Gunnar?!

[mutters] Shit.

You fucking idiot. We got to go.

Come on.

Come on!

[telephone ringing]

Nyköping Police. Officer Tommy Lindström.

[Clark] And there he is, Officer Tommy Lindström.

He became obsessed with me, from the first time he heard my name.

[man on phone] ...Clark Olofsson.

[Clark] And he's been obsessed his entire life.

[yelling] Clark!

Where is he? Where's Clark?

Where is Clark?!

Where is Clark? Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark!

[yelling] Clark!

Clark. Goddamn it! [grunts]

[yelling] Clark!

[Clark] This was the beginning of a lifelong journey

for old Tommy-Pony and me.

- [tires squeal] - [siren wailing]

[tires screech]

[Ragnar wheezing]

Ragnar?! No. Just stay calm.

It will be all right. [yelling] We need help!

Hold on, Ragnar. Just hold on.

- [gurgling] - Goddamn it. Can somebody help us?

We need an ambulance here!

We need an ambulance!

[Clark] The cop stayed alive for a few days.

Then he died,

so we ended up on the front page of every freakin' newspaper in Sweden.

I had always known that I would become famous,

but not for some stupid shit like this.

Police murderer?

I didn't even pull the trigger.

"WE WILL RETURN FIRE"

- All right, guys. You know the drill. - [helicopter approaching]

Our colleague is dead.

Let's catch those police-murdering sons of bitches.

- Move out. - [policeman 1] Affirmative.

Group one, towards the lake. Group two, come with me.

[policeman 2] Dog handler, to the west. Andersson, the hill.

[policeman 1] Come on, guys. Let's get that bastard.

[police radio] All available officers, convene on location.

- [lock pops] - [Clark grunts]

Hey, Clark, where the hell are we going? [sighs]

[engine sputtering]

Clark?

- Huh? - Where the hell are we going now?

No, you take care of yourself.

Huh?

- It's every man for himself now, Gunnar. - What?

[engine sputters]

- [engine starts] - There we go.

[laughs] Good luck, Gunnar!

[engine revving]

[engine sputters]

[tires squeal]

Clark!

Dammit.

[Clark] None of this was my fault, but I didn't care about the cop.

However, I did care about what Madou would say

now that she was about to find out who I really was.

THE COP KILLERS

But that's John.

What a lovely Harvard cavalier.

THE COP KILLERS

[news bulletin music playing]

[reporter] Seventy policemen work on day five of the hunt for Clark Olofsson.

[policeman] Hurry up!

[Clark laughs]

[reporter] ...Olofsson's been seen drinking coffee.

The police continue their search.

[policeman on radio] Flying towards Storsjön. Over.

[Clark] You have to be on your guard when on the run.

- [barking] - [Gunnar gasps]

Gunnar Nordgren.

You have to stay calm and think rationally.

Stop right there!

Especially when the entire freakin' country is looking for you.

- [dog barking] - [Gunnar grunts]

[man] What the hell, Gunnar!

Officer Mattiasson told us that he saw that you were the shooter.

[mumbling] Yeah, but I wasn't the one that came up with...

Stop mumbling. That did what?

- That came up with any of this. - So who did?

Clark.

What did you say?

Clark Olofsson.

TELEPHONE

[coin rattles]

[rotary dial whirring]

[sniffles]

[Tommy] It would be great to talk to this Clark Olofsson ourselves,

but, unfortunately, we haven't found him.

- I know the name of his girlfriend. - Uh-huh.

So, what's her name?

Um...

- Yes? Liz Britner speaking. - Hi. Uh... Could I speak to Madou?

Malou.

Okay.

Or, uh...

- No? - No. Milou.

Milou?

So, which one is it? Malou or Milou?

Uh...

- [Liz] Excuse me. Who is this? - It's Clark.

Well, you know, John.

I see.

The one that disappeared.

Yeah. No. But...

I didn't kill no cop.

- You don't believe that, huh? - I actually don't know what to think.

You know that I could never do that. You know me.

- I wish I could help you, Clark. - Liz...

- I really do, but... [sighs] - I-I miss you.

- Oh, poor baby. - Is Madou there?

C-can I speak to her?

[Liz sighs]

No, this isn't a good idea.

[Liz hangs up]

[mutters] Fuck.

Come on! For fuck's sake, Gunnar!

M-Malin.

Are you really sure?

Uh... No.

- I see. - Well, then you're not much help.

I know the way to her house.

Goddamn, that's one impressive house.

[Tommy] Mm.

Hey, Tommy, this whole jogger idea, do you really think it will work?

Yes, dammit.

We're undercover now, for God's sake.

Surely you don't think he's stupid enough to come here?

Huh? He must know that we're gonna find out about her.

Shit! Something's happening.

Now we'll see just how stupid he is.

Yes, uh, she has left the house, so things are about to happen. Uh, over.

[policeman on radio] Roger that. Over.

Where the hell are you going, you little beetroot?

- Ah, shit. - [Tommy] Get down, dammit!

- Wow, that was a close call. - [detective exhales]

- [Tommy] Luckily, we are undercover. - Yeah.

[twig snaps]

[jogger] Yeah. Tomorrow evening?

[joggers chattering indistinctly]

- Madou. - Stop! What are you doing?!

- Wait. It's me. - John.

I just had to see you. I have to explain. It's not as you think.

[Madou] You lied to me.

I know. I want to apologize for that.

I'm sorry. I-I...

Uh, I thought I had to be s-something else,

or s-someone else, for you to be with me.

What do you mean?

I didn't think you would be interested in me

if I didn't have money and shit like that.

[sighs] Why would someone like you want to be with someone like me?

I didn't shoot no police.

I didn't do it. I promise.

You know that I could never do something like that.

C-could these hands

that have touched something so beautiful as you...

Could they do something so horrible?

[sighs] I don't know what to say.

You don't have to say anything.

Damn, there's a lot of joggers.

[sighs] I just wanted to tell you and explain.

And I get that you never want to see me again.

But I...

I want you to know that...

I love you.

Well, in any case, that... that's all I wanted to tell you.

Wait.

Clark...

Before you say anything, I... I have a little present for you.

[Clark sighs]

It's really pretty.

[Clark chuckles]

[laughs] You know, my mom has one just like it.

- [moaning] Oh, John! - [Clark moans]

Right. Yeah.

Here. Uh, let me.

I've been so worried about you.

Mom as well. I think she cares about you.

[chuckles softly] Yeah, I like her too.

I-I care about both of you...

very much.

I was thinking maybe the three of us could...

What's wrong?

I don't know. I just have this weird feeling...

- [Tommy] Clark! - [screams] No! Stop!

- Let go of me! - Claesson, I've got him!

- [Clark] Like hell you do! - [Tommy] Clark! [grunts] Dammit!

- Let go of me! - Never!

- I'm innocent! - No, you're guilty!

Leave him alone!

You damn cop!

[Tommy] Claesson! Clark, no!

Dammit! Claesson, come on!

- [Madou] Clark! - No!

[Claesson] Olofsson, give up, dammit!

- [Madou screams] - [birds flying away]

[Claesson groaning]

[Madou] Clark!

[projector whirring]

[reporter] Well, here we see the youngster and, above all, criminal Clark Olofsson...

[Clark] So, now you know how it all began.

My career had started off with a bang

and I had become a celebrity criminal throughout Sweden.

[reporter] He will now be transferred from jail to the Svea Court of Appeal,

where he will await sentencing.

[Clark] They got me on a couple of charges,

the break-in, the shooting in the forest,

but, of course, I was cleared of the police murder...

My wonderful Clark!

...since I wasn't involved in that at all.

["Vilken Härlig Dag" playing]

I was a superstar, and Mom was so proud.

I always knew you'd make something of yourself.

And me and Madou were so in love with each other.

[camera shutters clicking]

I was about to go to jail,

but strangely enough, I had never felt more free.

And soon I was gonna be free again.

I had way too many things to do being locked up.

["Vilken Härlig Dag" continues playing]

BASED ON "VAFAN VAR DET SOM HÄNDE?" I-III BY CLARK OLOFSSON