Original subtitles

LOL: LAST ONE LAUGHING POLAND

Welcome to the second season of LOL: Last One Laughing.

If you have not watched the first season, you'd better catch up.

But you will quickly get the basics.

Here they are.

Participants must make others laugh,

but they can't laugh themselves. If they do, they are out.

This has not changed. However, we have done a bit of refurbishment here.

In my control room I can see and hear everything.

I am the sheriff here and I can do whatever I want.

So? Let the madness begin.

Sonia Bohosiewicz.

Hello? Anybody here?

Okay. I am the first one here.

On movie sets, there are many situations

when something cracks you up and you just can't smile.

So, I think I am in control, but I won't count my chickens before they hatch.

Participants can bring costumes and stage props

to make people laugh.

My name is Piotr Stramowski. I am an actor

and I am most curious what's going to happen.

-No! -Yes.

Hi!

Piotr Stramowski.

I like it here.

Wherever Piotr shows up, there are bursts,

and I mean bursts of laughter.

You better remember.

Michal W�jcik, giant of sketch comedy.

I am very nervous.

Oh! Who's there?

-Surprise! -Oh, no!

Oh, fu...

Mummy!

Michal W�jcik, my beloved friend.

But a very dangerous friend.

-Hi. -Hi.

-Michal. -Piotr. Boy, I have seen you.

He has not seen you, though.

Michal can crack up everyone, but not everyone can crack up Michal.

So, everyone, best of luck.

It's very easy to crack me up.

Wow! The dude made me laugh when I was a kid. I am done.

He can come up with funny stuff.

-I think he can. -Sonofabitch.

He spent years preparing.

What's it gonna be? Who's gonna be?

Hi, I am Karol, but on the net I am better known as "Blowek."

-Good morning! -Good morning.

-Oh, my. -My son was sure you'd be here.

-Blowek, my dear. -I never expected you.

Karol Gazwa.

The most popular Polish YouTuber.

-Piotr. -Hi. Karol. We've met at the gym.

-Just passing by. -I looked at you at the gym.

Piotr looked at himself too,

-so he didn't notice you. -Good one.

It's gonna be tough to survive with you around.

My son watches him on YouTube. Non-stop.

We have great stuff here. Jeez, it's better than at home.

You cannot laugh, Karol. I'm going to be reminding myself all day.

This is the gadget of a true prankster.

Whoopee cushion.

Does it work, though?

Zosia Zborowska-Wrona.

I love her Instagram. She makes people laugh till they burst into tears.

This show is perfect for me,

perhaps I will not laugh,

but I am sure I will make people laugh.

Good morning!

Howdy!

-What a warm welcome! -I am knee deep in shit.

-In shit? It's rather nice here. -Because you are here!

-Here you go. -Thank you.

Pink all over. Firebolt, she is.

You've got any advice how not to laugh?

I've got one. May I? Don't laugh.

Wow.

It's beginning already.

Not much room.

Are we all going to fit in here?

Hi. I am Pawel Chalupka. Stand-upper.

I try to crack people up wherever I can.

Hey, there is a button.

In general, I am scared. I don't know what I'm gonna do, and I think

it's gonna be a real horror. Why did I agree to be here?

Oh, feck.

There is another room.

Cool. Good morning.

Should I know you?

-She's an actress. -You know Kasia, don't you?

-Yes. -Call Kasia. When she explains...

-I'm gonna die? -...you will still don't know.

I have a feeling, that Pawel Chalupka

will be this season's secret weapon.

And Jerzy Kryszak, Godfather of Polish comedy.

A legend, and a living legend at that.

Hello everybody.

I am who I am.

-Oh my. -Good morning.

The elevator door opened and I was blinded. In comes Jerzy Kryszak.

-Hi, Pretty Body. -Hello, dear.

Right away, I went through all the gigs I prepared.

I was wondering if they are not too pathetic

to perform them in front of Mr. Kryszak.

-Have I seen you somewhere? -Piotr Stramowski.

Hi, Pretty Body.

Jerzy Kryszak, the legend.

Who is he?

-Who are you? -Blowek.

Karol Blowek, famous actor, Polish.

-Famous actor? -Small independent films.

I do not watch Polish TV series. I don't know the man, I don't know actors.

Maciej Musialowski, promising actor of the young generation.

-Attention! -Good morning!

-I had this feeling, howdy. -Hi. Howdy.

Maciej, what have you got? All of us have bags, and you...

I just came up with this idea.

Maciej. Just what did I get myself into?

How tough it's gonna be?

My name is Kasia Kwiatkowska and I am an actress.

Does it look good? Good. I am trying to visualize

all those different persons and myself trying to tell them something funny.

And, God forbid, I must not laugh.

When I saw Kasia Kwiatkowska I just felt very small

and I thought, "How am I supposed to make this woman laugh?"

There is no way.

Kasia is a brilliant and mischievous analyst of the world around us.

I really feel for the rest of them.

I figured you out. Camera is here, and here.

I can see it all. There, there and there.

We have nine participants. Someone's still missing.

-The moment of truth. -It's a man.

-Man. -Wait.

-Go on! -Yes!

-No! -What?

-Again? -What?

Holy cow.

Adam Woronowicz? Again?

Excuse me. A year ago I went out to the toilet, I came back,

-the studio was closed. A year later... -Some bladder you've got.

-Adam, that is not fair. -I'll warn you, the toilet's not working.

The shower too.

-Oh, no! -I'm kidding. Hi!

Adam charmed everybody in the first season.

I wonder, what he will show now.

Darn it!

Last year they locked me up in the toilet,

I went back to get my toothbrush, and...

I stayed here for a year. Hi, everybody.

Fine, everyone is here.

I'm going in.

Ta-dah! Thank you.

Czarek, obviously... Czarek, I know.

I welcome you with all my heart. Few words about the rules.

I am so glad to see you. Since Adam Woronowicz repeats a year,

come on, Adam, help me out.

When Czarek came in I realized that it's happening.

Everybody is terrified.

What do you do in the show?

Make others laugh.

-Good! -Good. What are you not supposed to do?

-Laugh. -Oh, no!

I was hoping that he will change his mind and the rules will change.

That in this season laughing will be allowed.

-When you laugh... -You get a yellow card.

For the next six hours.

Tragedy.

-And when you laugh a second time? -It's a fail.

-Fail. Red card. -You are out.

To have a ban on laughter? It's most challenging, really.

Whenever I catch anyone even smiling slightly,

you will hear this sound...

-Horrible. -Run!

-These are the rules. -At this point the door opens

-and enters he. The card bearer. -A true hero!

Guys, you are competing for 100,000 PLN for a charity of your choice.

-Where is the money? -I wish you the best and I'm out of here.

-Fine, well... -See you, stay well, bye.

All of us will face it. The corridor. Just a matter of time.

I've waited for this moment.

Three, two, one, start.

From now on there is no laughing or smiling.

Everybody is watching you, afraid of what you might do.

Right after the first ring, I thought, "Okay, I want to laugh now."

It was completely irrational.

I feel nervous, excited, full of expectations.

The show began and I thought,

"I should make some outlandish remark to someone."

They are going to show us in TV. You know?

Right now?

I am recording all of it, my dear.

Wait. What now? Since it already began,

perhaps someone should tell a joke...

Loosen up, perhaps.

Don't overdo it, though, all right?

Karol goes first. Brave. Youngest and bravest.

I feel that corners of my mouth are going up by themselves.

I've got that too.

-Here comes a surprise. -Yes.

I hope you will appreciate it. I've worked on it all night.

-Some chestnut cookies. -We started on a high note.

Here you go. Read aloud question and answer.

My Granny used to bake these.

Why trains do not overtake each other?

-And I must... -Yes, read the answer.

Because they only train.

Yep. That was great.

Read aloud.

What does a physician do on a minefield?

-Stitches, lies down, stretcher. -Lies down.

Vita-mines.

-Good one. -Vita-mines.

-Good. -I...

I never heard it. A good one.

Piotr had to breathe through his nose.

The chestnut themselves, written on chestnut cookies

and we had to read all those chestnuts... That was a bit funny.

One for you, Adam. A chestnut cookie.

Seems to be right for me. Why concrete has no job?

Say it again.

-What? -Has no...

Why concrete has no job?

They poured it away.

A bit chestnutty, still funny.

Chestnut.

Good, it started off well.

When something starts off well, it usually ends badly.

Michal went to the changing room.

I wonder what's he up to.

Listen, I want to tell you something

quite important to me.

-I am allergic. -Peanuts.

No. With peanuts, I am fine, I am allergic to badgers.

-Good. -How can they take it...

"I am allergic to badgers." Fine, you don't have to brag about it.

-So, they didn't let me bring my badger. -What about beavers?

It's likely that I am allergic to beavers as well.

Holy cow.

-How do you live with that? -No idea. I'd need to be around them.

Anyway, beavers and badgers...

But I can see no one here...

I am not sure anymore.

It's a really bad illness.

You get a rush and it stays. Wow!

At least half an hour.

So it has begun.

Watch out, the gong.

I'm curious.

First performance.

-Jesus and Virgin Mary. -Now it has begun.

-Who is not here, whom I don't see? -Off we go.

-Oh... -Oh... Funny.

Some outfit. Flamenco gear.

Sol Flamenco from Rzesz�w.

From Rzesz�w?

From Rzesz�w.

Michal, really? You dance flamenco?

Vamos!

Lassie went to little grove

Green grove

Green grove

Green grove

Someone is getting ready for the first card.

And she met there a hunter

A really heavy drinker

A really heavy drinker

His face... How can it be so flexible.

Where is the street And where is the home

Where is the lassie Mi Amor

I found the street And I found the home

I thought I will be the first to go.

I held up. I just imagined it was a regular tango.

-Already? -No!

I asked myself, "What now?"

And someone has earned the card.

Guys, let's do it.

It means, that something...

I know the sound. It's a nightmare. Haunted me every night for a year.

Quite a few times I went...

-C'�tait pas moi. -I saw it.

-It was you? -Non, non, non.

I'll button up. I must look chic. It's the first time, after all.

-Quiet, here comes Czarek. -Hi, for the first time.

A pleasant announcement. Ladies and gentlemen, on this screen

I will show you the crucial moments.

I felt extremally jumpy.

-Jesus and Holy Mary. -Not pleasant moments.

Moments when you have earned a card.

Here comes the first moment.

Michal W�jcik.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me remind you.

During your performances you cannot smile either.

We do not smile in this show.

A detail, but still.

I was afraid of this.

-Michal... -Absolve him...

Come to me, my friend. Come here.

I'll show you. Look, a yellow card.

-Yellow. It's only yellow. -We can laugh now!

-We can? Really? -Support!

Michal, really? The first performance?

You guys have fun. See ya. Doing well. Laugh while you can.

-I thought he would point me as well. -Michal, that was something.

The gig was so brilliant and I loved it so much.

I've beaten myself at my own game.

From Rzesz�w.

Yellow card.

All right. Let's move ahead. First card handed out.

I thought it was me. I was afraid, but it wasn't me.

Me too. But it is fricking fun.

You control yourself. I was afraid he'll say, "It's fricking you."

I am in control. I know what I am doing. I am self-conscious.

And I am conscious of many other things.

I'll crack it.

Attention. We are back in the game.

This sound is terrifying.

It was an impulse. I couldn't control myself. They simply...

They were saying, "Take me."

We need to warm up.

Oh!

Cool stuff, right?

Is it silly or what?

Cat got their tongue.

Woronowicz doesn't jerk around anymore.

Now, Jerzy, watch out. I'll show you my gig.

I've seen it on YouTube.

Zosia, hang on, girl!

It's embarrassing. Woronowicz seats on the horns and I want to laugh.

Sure, look it, it's gonna be tough.

Excuse me, it's a vox pop.

-How do you feel about this place? -Very good.

-Very good. -Adam? Suddenly I am cold.

-It is your second time here. -You are cold?

I am so embarrassed at stuff which makes me laugh,

what can I do...

-I am cold. -Still cold?

Does it show, or not?

-No. -I've seen guys

who tried very hard not to look there.

Jerzy?

I am cold.

Hey kid, go to your Dad, please.

Or perhaps I'll take you.

And I was like...

-Excuse me, how do you feel? -Fantastic.

Any advice for your friends?

-Let's stay fit or we'll eat shit. -Thank you very much, sir.

Ms. Zosia, and you? Oh!

Horn of the Year by Mr. Stramowski. Vox Pop of the Year.

You are not allowed to even smile in here,

so any joke you attempt seems a chestnut, embarrassing, cringe.

-Adam? -What?

But I like to think that there was some intellectual tint

in everything I did.

Did you piss your pants?

-Twenty minutes and you pissed your pants? -It's stress pissing.

Well, man, we have to report it.

-Adam? -No? Do not touch me with your hand.

-Do not touch me. What are you doing? -That was close.

You want me to touch you?

I don't know how to dry it.

Maciej, a kid, prince, artist, actor.

But...

-Maciej pissed his pants! -Adam...

What are you doing? Do not touch me.

-Damn you. -Adam?

-You pissed on your hand and touch me... -Adam, wait.

-Take me to the toilet. -You go there.

-I am not looking. -It's just piss.

It's like a child, who just cacked and wants to show it to you.

I don't see why I should share this excitement.

Kasia is in the changing room.

All right.

I am really worried about my instinct

to smile and to do anything to show my teeth.

Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Yes.

Show me.

-Not mine. -I am not playing with you.

Watch, Piotr.

Attention. Here comes the ball, Piotr.

It's a goal already.

It has to be...

-Exactly. -Wow.

It has to be, look...

You have to be quick, like...

-Full power. -Get it?

I can see Adam was at a loose end for a year and learned new tricks.

He was training.

-Watch out, it's coming! -Catch it. Yes!

Throw it to me, but higher.

You want me to throw it higher, Jerzy?

Here you go.

I changed my mind...

He always has a one-liner...

I hear gong and think, "Another spear. Someone will finish me off."

Kasia Kwiatkowska. Tough contender.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome.

HANDCRAFT

First, I'd like to show you myself.

I make a living with my hands.

I do handcraft.

I won many handcrafting competitions.

In Zgierz... Biennial in Przasnysz...

-We must appreciate this. -I am not passionate about leather.

But I do leather too. Landscapes.

He is simply boiling.

Inside.

I also undo bad energy spells

with my intuitive singing.

She undoes bad energy with intuitive singing.

I was on the edge. Kasia is the best.

I love her.

Now, smoothly, I'll show you

some of my pieces, which you can purchase today.

Should you not buy today,

please visit my online store at "Polish characters handcraft pieces"

"org dot pl eu dot com, pl, am."

The online store is open in America too.

Here it goes...

This is...

Yes, this is a sweater.

The sweater is made of merino.

Merino wool I mean.

It's a fish.

What fish? It's a sheep.

-Wait... -If she is saying that it's from salmon

-or something... -From merino, merino wool to be exact.

Like I said. It's a sheep.

Yes, merino. It was merino.

Merino.

This piece is a postmodernist deconstruction of a pitcher

and constitutes a wide metaphor of our contemporary times

since we have so many pitchers.

-Yes. -Yes. I am one.

Well, Piotr. You are in trouble.

This piece is for sale today

and you can also purchase some glue,

so with your own hands,

in your own home,

you can perform handcraft.

But this will be on your own responsibility.

One moment.

I am quite used to the fact that not everyone appreciates art,

and that not everyone buys beautiful handcraft.

The last piece I've got for sale today

is going to cost some big money. It's something I had at home.

It has a huge sentimental value for me,

but I had this feeling, that it wants to go.

Wants to go to other people.

Mother, it's terrifying.

It is a muslin diaper,

which my great-grandfather used long before the war.

I know an old diaper when I see one.

It survived the calamity of the war.

Out of the corner of my eye I looked at Adam Woronowicz.

It was a hard struggle.

The diaper was later used by my father, and subsequently by me.

At this point I decided to frown.

So nobody will even suspect that I'm smiling.

This diaper was very close to many of us.

It's cook... It's been boiled, but it's been through a lot.

I would have laughed. Kasia, you are brilliant.

Splendid. Thank you.

So, please visit my online store. Aloha.

- Aloha . - Aloha .

I'll gather up the pitcher. Don't bother. Please...

Watch out. It's hot. Someone wanted coffee.

Holy Mother, man, you scared me.

That's not what we agreed on.

LOL: LAST ONE LAUGHING POLAND

This will be the time of your lives...

IN THIS SEASON

I like you.

-Shall we take off our shirts? -No need to.

I don't have what he has.

Come to me.

-Do you feel it? -I do.

Adam, hold my sausage.

Zosia, help me.

Show, show, show.