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1
00:00:20,444 --> 00:00:23,118
[Upbeat music]
2
00:00:23,243 --> 00:00:26,037
[Bus hydraulics hiss;
Indistinct chatter]
3
00:00:31,251 --> 00:00:33,462
[Jane] Hello! Welcome!
4
00:00:33,587 --> 00:00:35,587
[Chatter continues]
5
00:00:37,091 --> 00:00:40,260
Good to see you. Welcome to camp!
Drop your phone over there.
6
00:00:40,385 --> 00:00:42,759
Hi, good morning.
How are ya? Welcome.
7
00:00:42,884 --> 00:00:44,598
- Hello!
- [Jake] Hi.
8
00:00:44,723 --> 00:00:47,101
- Hey, there.
- ♪ Wanna say goodnight to your mama... ♪
9
00:00:47,226 --> 00:00:49,009
No! No running.
10
00:00:50,145 --> 00:00:52,439
Drop your cell phone over there, please.
11
00:00:52,564 --> 00:00:54,942
♪ Let's stay alive forever
12
00:00:55,067 --> 00:00:57,527
♪ Wanna say goodnight to your mama
13
00:00:57,652 --> 00:01:01,073
♪ Let's make a life
and do something big
14
00:01:01,198 --> 00:01:03,517
♪ I'll live it up
15
00:01:03,642 --> 00:01:05,032
♪ I'll make my mind. ♪
16
00:01:05,157 --> 00:01:07,037
- My man.
- [Howard] Oh, my God.
17
00:01:07,162 --> 00:01:08,962
Kindly give your cellphone
over there, please.
18
00:01:08,997 --> 00:01:11,666
[Ez] How are you?
Hey, how's it been?
19
00:01:11,791 --> 00:01:13,835
Hey, man.
20
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,421
- [Ez grunts]
- [Jake] Hey.
21
00:01:16,546 --> 00:01:17,882
This is gonna be our year, boys.
22
00:01:18,007 --> 00:01:20,300
- Yeah.
- I can feel it.
23
00:01:20,425 --> 00:01:22,932
- Cellphone, please.
- I don't have one.
24
00:01:23,057 --> 00:01:24,779
- Why not?
- It inhibits your connection
25
00:01:24,904 --> 00:01:27,180
- with the world.
- What's this thing?
26
00:01:27,305 --> 00:01:29,476
- A dildo.
- Get outta here!
27
00:01:29,601 --> 00:01:32,104
- [Jane] Hello, hello. Welcome!
- [Ilana] My dad's a lawyer,
28
00:01:32,229 --> 00:01:35,632
and he says that you can't
take anything that's my personal property
29
00:01:35,757 --> 00:01:37,517
- or else you can go to jail.
- Well, listen.
30
00:01:37,583 --> 00:01:40,654
Judge Hulk says,
time to give up the phone.
31
00:01:40,779 --> 00:01:43,453
Everyone has to. Mandatory.
32
00:01:43,578 --> 00:01:45,231
[Phone clatters]
33
00:01:47,834 --> 00:01:48,854
Thank you for being good.
34
00:01:48,979 --> 00:01:50,622
[Jake] All right.
35
00:01:50,747 --> 00:01:53,708
- Time to turn in the phones.
- [Mike] Dr Weinberg!
36
00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:57,171
You look like a decent person,
but looks can be deceiving.
37
00:01:57,296 --> 00:01:59,422
Oh!
38
00:01:59,547 --> 00:02:01,091
What's this?
39
00:02:01,216 --> 00:02:03,093
Security!
40
00:02:03,218 --> 00:02:05,137
They're tampons!
41
00:02:05,262 --> 00:02:07,097
My bad.
42
00:02:07,222 --> 00:02:08,515
- Hi.
- Hi. Phone, please.
43
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:09,640
Yeah, okay.
44
00:02:09,724 --> 00:02:11,685
- Good to see ya.
- Counsellor Mike.
45
00:02:11,810 --> 00:02:13,625
- [Mike] There he is.
- [Ez] Yo, how you doing?
46
00:02:13,645 --> 00:02:16,106
[Mike] Good. Looking good, man.
47
00:02:17,148 --> 00:02:19,443
Can I check your sleeping bag?
48
00:02:23,155 --> 00:02:24,447
I went phone-less this year
49
00:02:24,572 --> 00:02:27,076
'cause, uh, I wanna be
in touch with nature and shit, you know?
50
00:02:27,201 --> 00:02:29,744
That's beautiful.
Hey, check his bags, and his pockets.
51
00:02:29,869 --> 00:02:31,726
- Feel me up, TSA.
- Hey, Jake, we're in Gesher.
52
00:02:31,746 --> 00:02:32,746
Oh.
53
00:02:32,789 --> 00:02:34,541
Gesher! Yeah!
54
00:02:34,666 --> 00:02:37,252
Boys are back in town, right?
55
00:02:37,377 --> 00:02:39,421
The song. Up top.
56
00:02:39,546 --> 00:02:42,340
[Music continues]
57
00:02:42,465 --> 00:02:45,058
See you soon, guys.
See you at the cabin.
58
00:02:46,678 --> 00:02:49,139
♪ Oh, oh. ♪
59
00:02:49,264 --> 00:02:50,807
[Music concludes]
60
00:02:50,932 --> 00:02:53,375
[Randy, on PA]
Welcome back to Camp Pearlstein.
61
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:54,811
It's that time of year again.
62
00:02:54,936 --> 00:02:59,316
Whether you're a returning camper
or a first-timer, remember,
63
00:02:59,441 --> 00:03:01,614
you might be on summer vacation,
64
00:03:01,739 --> 00:03:06,157
but you're never on vacation from God.
Ooh, I like that.
65
00:03:06,282 --> 00:03:09,534
All right, standing right there
is the hottest girl ever,
66
00:03:09,659 --> 00:03:11,474
and you're gonna win her over right now,
with this walk.
67
00:03:11,494 --> 00:03:12,951
It's easy. Like, I just look over at her,
68
00:03:12,971 --> 00:03:14,269
- like, maybe give her, like, a...
- [He clicks tongue]
69
00:03:14,289 --> 00:03:15,479
Dude, what are you...?
You're hopping.
70
00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:17,106
- Yeah, you look like a hunchback.
- You're hopping.
71
00:03:17,126 --> 00:03:20,420
Dude, you're not gonna hop your way
to pussy, let me tell you that.
72
00:03:20,545 --> 00:03:22,586
Oh, I call first shower.
73
00:03:22,711 --> 00:03:23,882
Uh, no.
74
00:03:24,007 --> 00:03:26,072
Everybody has to be here
if you're gonna call first shower,
75
00:03:26,092 --> 00:03:28,637
and not everybody's here,
so... sorry.
76
00:03:28,762 --> 00:03:30,803
That's hilarious, 'cause, like,
I just called first shower,
77
00:03:30,823 --> 00:03:32,579
- so I'm taking first shower.
- No, no. Howard's right.
78
00:03:32,599 --> 00:03:34,206
- Those are the rules.
- Oh, those are rules?
79
00:03:34,226 --> 00:03:35,832
I don't look like
a guy who follows rules, do I?
80
00:03:35,852 --> 00:03:36,979
Well, this is the...
81
00:03:37,104 --> 00:03:40,316
"Do I look like a guy who follows rules?"
All right, guys, let's chill out.
82
00:03:40,441 --> 00:03:42,776
Everyone's gonna get
a chance to take a shower.
83
00:03:42,901 --> 00:03:45,160
Hey, I've got an idea.
Let's have a super cool
84
00:03:45,285 --> 00:03:47,197
- just chill summer this year.
- Oh, yeah.
85
00:03:47,322 --> 00:03:48,531
- Yeah!
- Can we do that?
86
00:03:48,656 --> 00:03:50,388
- We're gonna have a good time this year.
- Oh, yeah!
87
00:03:50,408 --> 00:03:51,743
- Yeah, man.
- Whoo!
88
00:03:51,868 --> 00:03:53,225
See you guys at the dining hall at 6:00.
89
00:03:53,245 --> 00:03:54,413
- Can you be there?
- Yeah.
90
00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:56,819
Otherwise, consequences, all right, guys?
Can you do that?
91
00:03:56,915 --> 00:03:58,649
- Sure, yeah.
- Harry Potter?
92
00:03:58,774 --> 00:04:00,543
- Wonderful.
- [Door shuts]
93
00:04:00,668 --> 00:04:02,213
- Creeps me out.
- Dude.
94
00:04:02,338 --> 00:04:03,880
That guy is gonna get locked up.
95
00:04:04,005 --> 00:04:06,217
Hey, check this out.
Burn pad from last year.
96
00:04:06,342 --> 00:04:08,010
[All] Oh!
97
00:04:09,761 --> 00:04:11,034
Oh, is that me? Did you draw me?
98
00:04:11,054 --> 00:04:12,681
- No, no.
- No, no, no. It's, uh...
99
00:04:12,806 --> 00:04:14,288
Wait, why would you draw me
in your burn book?
100
00:04:14,308 --> 00:04:15,955
[Howard] It's not...
No, it's not you. It's another guy.
101
00:04:15,975 --> 00:04:18,728
- Hello, fellow Israelites!
- [He chuckles]
102
00:04:18,853 --> 00:04:20,231
- Jake! There's my guy.
- Oh, hey.
103
00:04:20,356 --> 00:04:21,690
Hey... Oh!
104
00:04:21,815 --> 00:04:22,899
Yeah...
105
00:04:23,024 --> 00:04:24,693
Oh, oh.
106
00:04:24,818 --> 00:04:26,988
- Wow, wow, wow.
- [Ivan] Howard?
107
00:04:27,113 --> 00:04:29,540
- Hey, bud!
- Hey, man. Hugs all 'round.
108
00:04:29,665 --> 00:04:30,888
Oh, there we go.
109
00:04:31,013 --> 00:04:33,847
You got... You got buff.
What, have you been...
110
00:04:33,972 --> 00:04:35,203
jerkin' it with two hands?
111
00:04:35,328 --> 00:04:37,914
Yeah, dude.
Like, minimum four times a week.
112
00:04:38,039 --> 00:04:39,375
- Wow.
- Minimum.
113
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:42,210
- [Ez] Whoa. What the fuck is this?!
- [Ivan] What?
114
00:04:42,335 --> 00:04:45,482
Dude, no more of your Jew shit, okay?
This year we're getting laid.
115
00:04:52,303 --> 00:04:54,014
[Indistinct chatter]
116
00:04:54,139 --> 00:04:56,139
[Uptempo pop music plays]
117
00:05:00,312 --> 00:05:01,980
Are you Jewish?
118
00:05:02,105 --> 00:05:04,944
- Yeah, are you Jewish?
- I literally just said that, Sarah.
119
00:05:05,069 --> 00:05:06,840
- Well, yeah, but I was, like, just...
- Okay.
120
00:05:06,860 --> 00:05:08,867
- In case she didn't hear you..
- She did, she did. Stop.
121
00:05:08,887 --> 00:05:10,321
Just, shh.
122
00:05:10,446 --> 00:05:11,740
Do I look Jewish?
123
00:05:11,865 --> 00:05:14,569
Well, that's a trick question.
124
00:05:14,694 --> 00:05:16,619
I mean, if I say yes,
you'll roll your eyes,
125
00:05:16,744 --> 00:05:19,373
- and if I say no, I'll appear racist.
- She'll appear racist.
126
00:05:19,498 --> 00:05:21,583
And nobody wants that for Ilana.
She's not racist.
127
00:05:21,708 --> 00:05:23,169
- Hello?
- [She chuckles]
128
00:05:23,294 --> 00:05:26,629
- But, really, um, why are you here?
- Yeah, why are you here?
129
00:05:26,754 --> 00:05:28,757
My dad's girlfriend is Jewish,
130
00:05:28,882 --> 00:05:31,242
and he took her to Europe
for the summer instead of me,
131
00:05:31,367 --> 00:05:33,387
so, I'm stuck here.
132
00:05:33,512 --> 00:05:35,013
Because she's the devil.
133
00:05:36,055 --> 00:05:39,833
Maya, hon.
I mean, I don't know about you, but...
134
00:05:39,958 --> 00:05:41,770
Jewish women
are taught to support each other.
135
00:05:41,895 --> 00:05:43,377
So, you shouldn't
talk about her like that.
136
00:05:43,397 --> 00:05:46,275
- We're taught to support each other.
- Guys, guys, guys.
137
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,736
I'm getting, like, a really,
like, passive aggressive vibe
138
00:05:49,861 --> 00:05:51,280
from this, like, side of the room,
139
00:05:51,405 --> 00:05:53,102
and I just wanna have
a really peaceful summer,
140
00:05:53,122 --> 00:05:55,556
and your, like, negative energy
is, like... like this big cloud.
141
00:05:55,576 --> 00:05:56,973
It's, like, permeating this building.
142
00:05:56,993 --> 00:05:59,288
- Oh!
- [Bag thuds]
143
00:05:59,413 --> 00:06:02,208
Hey, Angela! Look who's here.
144
00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:04,085
There goes our shot at winning best bunk.
145
00:06:04,210 --> 00:06:06,504
- There it goes. Out the window.
- Oh, well.
146
00:06:06,629 --> 00:06:08,088
Oh, hey.
147
00:06:08,213 --> 00:06:10,508
Could I borrow that, um,
Bible of Aliens book
148
00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:12,675
that you always, you know, sleep with?
149
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,720
Yeah, sure. Just let me borrow
the number of your plastic surgeon.
150
00:06:15,845 --> 00:06:20,434
- I'll be happy to let you borrow my book.
- Oh, wow! That was so...
151
00:06:20,559 --> 00:06:22,199
Are you...
Do you... Do you want a tampon?
152
00:06:22,228 --> 00:06:23,875
Are you on your period?
'Cause you're being kind of a bitch.
153
00:06:23,895 --> 00:06:26,503
- Go back to Area 51 where you belong.
- It's okay, it's okay, Sarah.
154
00:06:26,523 --> 00:06:29,485
- Oh, my God, she's being so rude to you.
- [Ilana] She's okay.
155
00:06:29,610 --> 00:06:32,195
Hey, are these girls always like this?
156
00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:39,327
All right, listen up,
you little Chode McMuffins.
157
00:06:39,452 --> 00:06:43,957
It's gonna be our year.
We are gonna get so much action.
158
00:06:44,082 --> 00:06:45,712
Okay, this is what you say
every single year,
159
00:06:45,732 --> 00:06:47,419
and secondly,
160
00:06:47,544 --> 00:06:50,172
I saw Angie at check-in
and she looked pretty cute.
161
00:06:50,297 --> 00:06:52,928
Yeah, but what I'm talking about
are, like, girls who aren't completely,
162
00:06:52,948 --> 00:06:56,010
- you know, ugly.
- Yeah, like, Angela? Are you serious?
163
00:06:56,135 --> 00:06:59,681
Um, I noticed her nail polish.
It was really striking.
164
00:06:59,806 --> 00:07:01,724
Ivan, just... just shut up, man.
165
00:07:01,849 --> 00:07:05,895
What's wrong with...
I mean, have you guys even talked to her?
166
00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:09,399
Oh, she has a nice personality.
That's amazing!
167
00:07:09,524 --> 00:07:11,609
Dude, but what
I'm talking about is, like...
168
00:07:11,734 --> 00:07:14,612
- She's, like, a six or a seven, if that.
- Or, like, a five.
169
00:07:14,737 --> 00:07:17,448
And we're sticking to, like,
nines or tens this year, man.
170
00:07:17,573 --> 00:07:20,202
- Get your game together.
- Fir... Okay, nine or ten.
171
00:07:20,327 --> 00:07:22,954
There are no nines or tens
at Jewish summer camp.
172
00:07:23,079 --> 00:07:25,524
And why are you talking about girls
173
00:07:25,649 --> 00:07:28,190
when you've never even had
an encounter with a woman
174
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:30,128
besides your mom?
175
00:07:30,253 --> 00:07:33,154
Oh! Have you seen Maya Johnson?
176
00:07:34,215 --> 00:07:37,969
- Maya Johnson, Maya Johnson?
- Is that the new Black girl?
177
00:07:38,094 --> 00:07:40,763
Yeah. Her dad played for the '96 Knicks.
178
00:07:40,888 --> 00:07:43,683
Wait, if her dad played
for the '96 Knicks, why is she here?
179
00:07:43,808 --> 00:07:45,643
[Ez] Who cares why?
Point is, she is.
180
00:07:45,768 --> 00:07:48,292
And I'm gonna get with her, so if I see
any of you guys looking at her,
181
00:07:48,312 --> 00:07:51,941
touching her, doing anything,
I will literally destroy you.
182
00:07:52,066 --> 00:07:54,902
[Propulsive music]
183
00:08:01,743 --> 00:08:03,578
[Music continues]
184
00:08:29,062 --> 00:08:31,773
[Music continues]
185
00:08:49,832 --> 00:08:51,710
[Music concludes]
186
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,421
[Randy, on PA] The first night of camp
can only mean one thing.
187
00:08:54,546 --> 00:08:57,131
- [Jason] What's that, Rabbi Randy?
- [Randy] Ghost stories!
188
00:08:57,256 --> 00:08:58,883
[Jason] So, bring your imaginations.
189
00:08:59,008 --> 00:09:01,324
[Randy] And your sweaters.
We don't want anyone to get a cold.
190
00:09:01,344 --> 00:09:04,035
[Jason] No, we don't want any... And it
can be a little bit draughty out there.
191
00:09:04,055 --> 00:09:05,432
[Randy] It can be a bit nippy.
192
00:09:05,557 --> 00:09:08,810
[Jason] And bask in the quiet
of a technology-free summer.
193
00:09:08,935 --> 00:09:12,230
[Randy] Forget your phones,
this is the time to...
194
00:09:12,355 --> 00:09:15,733
[PA announcement fades;
Indistinct chatter]
195
00:09:15,858 --> 00:09:19,613
[Gentle music]
196
00:09:31,958 --> 00:09:36,213
♪ Let's go shooting for the moon tonight
197
00:09:36,338 --> 00:09:39,257
♪ I'll get you there and over... ♪
198
00:09:39,382 --> 00:09:42,469
[Howard] Jake!
What are you looking at?
199
00:09:42,594 --> 00:09:44,679
♪ ..for the moon tonight
200
00:09:44,804 --> 00:09:47,182
- ♪ I'll get you out. ♪
- [Music subsides]
201
00:09:47,307 --> 00:09:49,310
[Indistinct chatter]
202
00:09:49,435 --> 00:09:51,269
Hey. Uh, I'm Jake.
203
00:09:52,521 --> 00:09:53,825
Hey.
204
00:09:55,273 --> 00:09:58,527
I just wanna, like, introduce myself.
W-What's your name?
205
00:09:58,652 --> 00:10:00,654
[Mike] The summer of 19...
206
00:10:00,779 --> 00:10:02,406
Your fly is open.
207
00:10:02,531 --> 00:10:03,990
- Oh... Oh.
- [He chuckles]
208
00:10:04,115 --> 00:10:07,118
Hey, Ilana, hey.
209
00:10:07,243 --> 00:10:08,661
Excuse me?
210
00:10:08,786 --> 00:10:11,081
[Mike speaks indistinctly]
211
00:10:12,957 --> 00:10:15,209
[Howard] Hey. Angela, right?
212
00:10:15,334 --> 00:10:17,086
Yeah.
213
00:10:17,211 --> 00:10:19,297
"Angela the Alien."
214
00:10:22,551 --> 00:10:25,094
You got...
You matured... You grew...
215
00:10:25,219 --> 00:10:28,682
Like, you... you changed a lot
since last year.
216
00:10:28,807 --> 00:10:30,809
Mm. Yeah, my... my boobs did grow.
217
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:34,000
One of the many benefits
of Jewish heritage.
218
00:10:35,229 --> 00:10:36,314
Right.
219
00:10:36,439 --> 00:10:39,485
Sorry, I'm just trying to,
like, introduce myself.
220
00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:41,842
I know it's hard, like, when you're
new at a camp and you wanna, like...
221
00:10:41,862 --> 00:10:44,511
you know, you don't have friends,
you maybe want a companion or something.
222
00:10:44,531 --> 00:10:46,575
Not, like, a companion.
I mean more of, like, a...
223
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,576
So, your dad's, like,
a basketball player, huh?
224
00:10:50,036 --> 00:10:52,622
My dad's, like, a big-time dentist.
225
00:10:53,707 --> 00:10:55,197
You know, you were...
226
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,460
- [She scoffs]
- ..a real ass to me last summer.
227
00:10:57,585 --> 00:10:58,628
I was?
228
00:11:00,296 --> 00:11:03,126
I didn't mean to be. I'm sorry.
229
00:11:04,550 --> 00:11:06,742
Sorry, I'm just trying to, like,
you know, put myself out there,
230
00:11:06,762 --> 00:11:08,494
you know, show you that I'm...
I'm here for you.
231
00:11:08,514 --> 00:11:11,162
Well, not here for you. You know,
like, I'm trying to make you comfortable.
232
00:11:11,182 --> 00:11:12,767
- Mm-hm.
- Not too comfortable, right?
233
00:11:12,892 --> 00:11:15,019
Like, the sweet spot
of comfortability that...
234
00:11:15,144 --> 00:11:17,898
- Ah!
- [Ez] Jacob Philip Weinberg.
235
00:11:18,023 --> 00:11:19,607
- Hi.
- Hi.
236
00:11:19,732 --> 00:11:21,632
I think you're the most beautiful girl
I've ever seen.
237
00:11:21,652 --> 00:11:24,512
My name is Ez, and I happen
to have invented the flashlight.
238
00:11:24,637 --> 00:11:26,332
Uh, hey, Maya, um,
239
00:11:26,457 --> 00:11:28,387
the inventor of the flashlight was
actually a guy called David Misell, so...
240
00:11:28,407 --> 00:11:30,368
Hey, Maya, check it.
You can see shit in the dark.
241
00:11:30,493 --> 00:11:31,786
[Maya scoffs softly]
242
00:11:31,911 --> 00:11:34,372
[Eerie music]
243
00:11:34,497 --> 00:11:37,708
[Rattling]
244
00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:39,335
[Loud tap]
245
00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:41,087
Same tapping.
246
00:11:41,212 --> 00:11:46,092
Same shrill, disgusting noises
of pain and death.
247
00:11:46,217 --> 00:11:48,386
[Loud tapping]
248
00:11:48,511 --> 00:11:51,072
[Music continues, can rattles]
249
00:11:54,976 --> 00:11:58,396
And when the rabbis woke up,
they found the boot marks
250
00:11:58,521 --> 00:12:01,441
leading to
a little clearing in the forest.
251
00:12:01,566 --> 00:12:05,486
What they found were the remains
of a small Jewish boy,
252
00:12:05,611 --> 00:12:08,865
in an old, tattered Nazi uniform.
253
00:12:08,990 --> 00:12:10,199
[Low rattling]
254
00:12:10,324 --> 00:12:12,660
Of course,
the rabbis just thought it was a sick joke
255
00:12:12,785 --> 00:12:14,854
that the local people were playing.
256
00:12:14,979 --> 00:12:17,290
But then, the next night,
they went back to sleep.
257
00:12:17,415 --> 00:12:19,149
[Loud thud]
258
00:12:19,274 --> 00:12:22,628
Again, the same noise.
And you know what that was?
259
00:12:23,879 --> 00:12:25,298
Do you know?
260
00:12:27,543 --> 00:12:29,385
It was the ghost...
261
00:12:29,510 --> 00:12:32,681
of Camp Pearlstein.
262
00:12:32,806 --> 00:12:35,433
The Nazi ghost.
263
00:12:35,558 --> 00:12:39,270
So, if you guys...
if you guys hear any German...
264
00:12:39,395 --> 00:12:40,481
[Music subsides]
265
00:12:40,606 --> 00:12:43,191
..that's probably Helga
who helps us out in the kitchen,
266
00:12:43,316 --> 00:12:45,916
- but it could also be the ghost of...
- [Jane] Okay. Okay, great.
267
00:12:46,027 --> 00:12:49,197
That was, uh, wonderfully disturbing.
Uh, who would like to go next?
268
00:12:49,322 --> 00:12:51,984
- I'll go.
- [Jane] Okay, great.
269
00:12:53,034 --> 00:12:54,660
[Eerie music]
270
00:12:54,785 --> 00:12:57,079
Campers.
271
00:12:57,204 --> 00:13:01,692
You beautiful, innocent, young,
hopefully virgin campers.
272
00:13:01,817 --> 00:13:03,433
You all think...
273
00:13:04,503 --> 00:13:09,069
..that aliens,
they're slimy, scary, obvious.
274
00:13:10,301 --> 00:13:11,469
Well, guess what?
275
00:13:11,594 --> 00:13:16,557
They can take on the form of anything
or anyone that they want.
276
00:13:16,682 --> 00:13:19,853
They take on the form of a human body.
277
00:13:19,978 --> 00:13:22,772
[Whispering] I should have
brought my sweater.
278
00:13:22,897 --> 00:13:24,649
- Okay.
- [Angela] And to cure this...
279
00:13:24,774 --> 00:13:29,184
this insatiable hunger for human flesh...
280
00:13:30,321 --> 00:13:32,782
..they chew their nails...
281
00:13:32,907 --> 00:13:34,075
and their hair.
282
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:37,328
[Whispering] Gimme a cell.
I wanna call my dad.
283
00:13:38,496 --> 00:13:41,582
I don't have a phone.
There's one in Hulk's cabin.
284
00:13:41,707 --> 00:13:44,394
We could go there,
you could call your dad.
285
00:13:47,129 --> 00:13:49,841
- Yeah, you go first.
- All right.
286
00:13:49,966 --> 00:13:53,135
[Angela] ..and to take on
the form of a human body
287
00:13:53,260 --> 00:13:57,807
is a very disturbing process
that I will not cover right now.
288
00:13:57,932 --> 00:14:00,092
[Whispering] I think you'll need,
like, a third person.
289
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,138
[Angela] ..tomorrow, right?
290
00:14:03,604 --> 00:14:06,023
It's not good news for you, is it?
291
00:14:07,191 --> 00:14:08,777
Mm-mm.
292
00:14:08,902 --> 00:14:10,902
[Music continues]
293
00:14:13,864 --> 00:14:16,014
- [Music concludes]
- [Whispering] This is Hulk's place.
294
00:14:16,034 --> 00:14:18,493
- Are you sure he's not here?
- Yeah, yeah.
295
00:14:19,537 --> 00:14:21,665
Hey, right there.
296
00:14:21,790 --> 00:14:23,917
That white mini-fridge?
297
00:14:24,042 --> 00:14:25,474
First make-out sesh.
298
00:14:26,710 --> 00:14:28,171
Thanks for telling me.
299
00:14:29,685 --> 00:14:31,685
[Disquieting music]
300
00:14:34,532 --> 00:14:36,532
[Disembodies whispering]
301
00:14:40,182 --> 00:14:43,477
Maya. Arr, Peter Pan!
302
00:14:43,602 --> 00:14:45,688
[Maya] Dork.
303
00:14:45,813 --> 00:14:48,441
- Shut up. Stop it, seriously.
- I'm gonna grab it.
304
00:14:48,566 --> 00:14:49,841
[Maya] No.
305
00:14:51,778 --> 00:14:53,404
- Stop.
- [Ez] Let me pick it up.
306
00:14:53,529 --> 00:14:55,115
No, stop.
307
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,116
[Maya chuckles, objects rattle]
308
00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:58,534
Shut up.
309
00:14:58,659 --> 00:15:00,871
[He roars]
310
00:15:04,957 --> 00:15:06,918
What are you two doing here?
311
00:15:12,229 --> 00:15:13,801
[He clears throat]
312
00:15:15,092 --> 00:15:17,178
Since you're here,
make yourselves at home.
313
00:15:19,139 --> 00:15:21,139
I'll get you some refreshments.
314
00:15:23,726 --> 00:15:25,687
[Bottles clink, fridge door shuts]
315
00:15:25,812 --> 00:15:29,288
[Drawer opens, bottle clinks,
Hulk clears throat]
316
00:15:30,984 --> 00:15:32,984
[Disquieting music]
317
00:15:42,996 --> 00:15:45,790
[Distant voice speaks in German]
318
00:15:45,915 --> 00:15:48,210
[Music builds]
319
00:15:51,670 --> 00:15:53,381
Nazi!
320
00:15:53,506 --> 00:15:55,424
[Music subsides, he screams]
321
00:16:00,513 --> 00:16:04,142
- [He exhales]
- It was real. I swear.
322
00:16:07,353 --> 00:16:10,689
[Jake, whispering] Ivan, there is
no such thing as the camp Nazi.
323
00:16:10,814 --> 00:16:12,841
You scared the hell out of everyone.
324
00:16:12,966 --> 00:16:15,737
- Just go to bed.
- Dude, they're just trying to scare you.
325
00:16:20,341 --> 00:16:22,243
[Jake] Hey, Ez.
326
00:16:22,368 --> 00:16:24,870
- Dude, what are you doing?
- I'm gonna raid Habonim.
327
00:16:24,995 --> 00:16:26,831
What? The girls' bunk?
328
00:16:26,956 --> 00:16:29,208
Wait, wait...
What if Hulk catches us?
329
00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:31,274
- [Mockingly] "What if Hulk catches us?"
- [Howard] It's the first night of camp.
330
00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:33,734
- Stop being a little bitch, man.
- [Jake] I think it sounds fun.
331
00:16:33,754 --> 00:16:36,465
Yeah, right? Hey, come on.
Let's go. Come on.
332
00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:38,593
- Get up.
- We might get busted, man.
333
00:16:38,718 --> 00:16:40,449
And you, let's see
what you're packing down there.
334
00:16:40,469 --> 00:16:43,305
Oh, shit.
Come on. I'll sign you out.
335
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:47,059
Even you, you little dick-licker.
Dude, you can either stay here with us
336
00:16:47,184 --> 00:16:51,063
or cry, use your tears as lube, and jerk
at Justin Bieber's Never Say Never album.
337
00:16:51,188 --> 00:16:54,445
- That's not even his best album. Jesus.
- [Ez] Wow.
338
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,528
[Ez gasps]
339
00:16:57,653 --> 00:17:00,369
- Ez, it's not cool.
- Fuck, you guys.
340
00:17:01,824 --> 00:17:04,826
You think Ivan really saw a Nazi?
341
00:17:04,951 --> 00:17:07,122
Guys, I really don't think
we should be out here.
342
00:17:07,247 --> 00:17:10,332
- Yeah, like, what if we get caught?
- Would you guys just shut the fuck up?
343
00:17:10,457 --> 00:17:13,261
You think this is the first time
I've ever raided a girl's bunk?
344
00:17:14,588 --> 00:17:18,842
Speaking of first times,
have you ever had a girlfriend?
345
00:17:18,967 --> 00:17:21,302
- Who, me? Yeah.
- What's her name?
346
00:17:21,427 --> 00:17:23,403
- My name or her...?
- Her name.
347
00:17:23,528 --> 00:17:24,680
Susan?
348
00:17:24,805 --> 00:17:26,515
Susan. Is she from
Imagination Land, USA?
349
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,810
No, she's from... Portland.
350
00:17:28,935 --> 00:17:30,519
- Shh.
- Portland.
351
00:17:30,644 --> 00:17:32,814
Like, I honestly feel like
she doesn't understand me.
352
00:17:32,939 --> 00:17:35,566
Like, she told me I couldn't have
my allowance twice a week
353
00:17:35,691 --> 00:17:39,070
because apparently I need to be
more of a normal child or whatever.
354
00:17:39,195 --> 00:17:42,031
That's ridiculous. Seriously,
you don't need to be a normal child.
355
00:17:42,156 --> 00:17:44,159
You're abnormal, it's fine.
356
00:17:44,284 --> 00:17:46,577
[Sarah yelps, boys yell]
357
00:17:46,702 --> 00:17:48,685
[Ez] Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
358
00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:51,958
- [Sarah] What are you doing?!
- [Ez] Oh, shit!
359
00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:54,668
Yo, Maya. Come here, babe.
360
00:17:54,793 --> 00:17:57,171
- What are you guys doing here?
- I don't know. Boys.
361
00:17:57,296 --> 00:18:01,051
- You scared us.
- Oh, my God, I, like, scare you?
362
00:18:01,176 --> 00:18:03,512
Well, at least
something interesting happened.
363
00:18:03,637 --> 00:18:06,223
- Oh, we can be interesting.
- Hm.
364
00:18:07,649 --> 00:18:09,851
- Hm?
- Good.
365
00:18:09,976 --> 00:18:13,177
- A sip?
- She doesn't want any either.
366
00:18:13,302 --> 00:18:16,023
- Right, Sarah?
- Right, Ilana.
367
00:18:16,148 --> 00:18:18,909
Danny DeVito's no longer thirsty, guys.
How will you finish this shit?
368
00:18:18,985 --> 00:18:20,862
- [Sarah] Danny DeVito?
- [Ez] Chug that.
369
00:18:20,987 --> 00:18:22,864
- [Sarah] Immature.
- There's a lot in it.
370
00:18:22,989 --> 00:18:25,324
[Ez] Dude, just go for it.
371
00:18:25,449 --> 00:18:26,909
- Yeah?
- [Jake] Whoa.
372
00:18:27,034 --> 00:18:29,705
- [Ez] Oh! Oh!
- [Jake] Dude!
373
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,485
- Come here, bro.
- [He grunts]
374
00:18:33,610 --> 00:18:36,002
Nice. Gimme that.
What do we do with an empty bottle?
375
00:18:36,127 --> 00:18:38,754
- [Ilana] You leave.
- We spin that shit!
376
00:18:38,879 --> 00:18:40,965
Everyone, middle of the floor right now.
Let's go.
377
00:18:41,090 --> 00:18:44,297
- No, I don't want to.
- Oh, hey, except for you, uh, Pluto Tits.
378
00:18:44,422 --> 00:18:47,096
Why don't you just go
stick over there on your planet?
379
00:18:47,221 --> 00:18:48,995
Everyone in the middle of the room.
Here we go.
380
00:18:49,015 --> 00:18:50,641
[Jake] Hey, hey, Ez. Hey, Ez. Ez.
381
00:18:50,766 --> 00:18:53,061
Are we gonna do, like,
full-on or, like, on the cheek?
382
00:18:53,186 --> 00:18:55,188
- Jesus Christ, man.
- Okay, well, let's sit down.
383
00:18:55,313 --> 00:18:57,356
You should not have asked that.
384
00:18:57,481 --> 00:18:59,608
All right, so, my bottle, my spin.
385
00:18:59,733 --> 00:19:01,903
That good with everyone?
Like I care.
386
00:19:02,028 --> 00:19:04,488
- Here we go.
- ♪ It's true
387
00:19:04,613 --> 00:19:06,740
♪ My heart starts racing... ♪
388
00:19:06,865 --> 00:19:08,517
[Ez] Oh.
389
00:19:08,642 --> 00:19:12,247
♪ I'm hot for you, you know it's true... ♪
390
00:19:12,372 --> 00:19:15,041
Oh, do I have to?
Do I have to? Yes.
391
00:19:15,166 --> 00:19:17,085
- [Whooping]
- ♪ When I think of you
392
00:19:17,210 --> 00:19:19,408
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
393
00:19:21,044 --> 00:19:23,091
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
394
00:19:23,216 --> 00:19:25,864
- [Ivan] That was a nice kiss, guys.
- [Howard] Okay, dude. Awesome.
395
00:19:25,884 --> 00:19:29,164
- [Ez] Next spin. Come on.
- Whatever.
396
00:19:29,289 --> 00:19:31,224
♪ The room gets steamy... ♪
397
00:19:31,349 --> 00:19:32,641
- Oh!
- Oh!
398
00:19:32,766 --> 00:19:34,393
- Re-spin.
- [Ez] No. Rules are rules.
399
00:19:34,518 --> 00:19:36,480
- Explore this. Come on.
- [Ilana] I don't wanna explore it.
400
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,731
[Ez] The floor is yours, ladies.
Make love.
401
00:19:38,856 --> 00:19:41,942
[Maya] Maybe we'll find something out
about ourselves that we didn't know.
402
00:19:42,067 --> 00:19:45,043
- [Ez] Oh!
- [Indistinct chatter]
403
00:19:45,168 --> 00:19:49,158
♪ I can't take it when it feels so good
404
00:19:49,283 --> 00:19:52,369
♪ Make it make sense,
make it make sense... ♪
405
00:19:52,494 --> 00:19:54,872
- Oh!
- Oh, uh...
406
00:19:54,997 --> 00:19:56,124
- No.
- No!
407
00:19:56,249 --> 00:19:58,417
- Re-spin.
- [Ez] No, no, no. This is good for you.
408
00:19:58,542 --> 00:20:01,295
[Howard] Come on, Ivan.
Let's get your dick wet.
409
00:20:01,420 --> 00:20:05,007
- [Ez] Whoo!
- [Indistinct chatter]
410
00:20:05,132 --> 00:20:08,218
- Go for it.
- [Bottle spins, rattles]
411
00:20:08,343 --> 00:20:11,055
♪ It's not understood. ♪
412
00:20:11,180 --> 00:20:12,556
[Ez yells]
413
00:20:12,681 --> 00:20:14,184
- Guy, guys, it's mine.
- No!
414
00:20:14,309 --> 00:20:15,559
No, it's not.
415
00:20:15,684 --> 00:20:17,270
No, no.
416
00:20:17,395 --> 00:20:18,479
No, it's not!
417
00:20:18,604 --> 00:20:20,148
- [Jake] Come on.
- No, it's not.
418
00:20:20,273 --> 00:20:23,359
- [Jake] Guys, guys, come on. No, I...
- It's definitely Ivan's.
419
00:20:23,484 --> 00:20:26,544
- [Ez] No, it's... Oh, shit!
- Oh, come on, guys. Come on.
420
00:20:28,306 --> 00:20:30,991
Come on.
Don't leave a fella hanging.
421
00:20:31,116 --> 00:20:32,575
Do it!
422
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:35,455
[Ez yells]
423
00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:38,828
[Lively laughter, chatter]
424
00:20:38,953 --> 00:20:40,953
[Music subsides]
425
00:20:44,097 --> 00:20:45,630
[Rattling]
426
00:20:45,755 --> 00:20:48,259
- [Ilana] It's your turn.
- [Ez] This is pretty wild, eh?
427
00:20:48,384 --> 00:20:49,990
[Ilana] Well, I don't know.
Read the instructions. I don't know.
428
00:20:50,010 --> 00:20:52,596
[Ez] Sneaking out and everything.
429
00:20:52,721 --> 00:20:54,433
[Maya] Shut up.
430
00:20:54,558 --> 00:20:58,465
[Conversation continues indistinctly,
Harold groans]
431
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,275
Pale Blue Dot. That's, uh...
432
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,443
Sounds like a cool book.
433
00:21:06,568 --> 00:21:08,168
What's it about?
434
00:21:09,571 --> 00:21:12,574
It's by Carl Sagan. He refers to
what Earth looks like from space.
435
00:21:12,699 --> 00:21:14,586
That's, uh...
436
00:21:14,711 --> 00:21:18,831
Yeah, that's super-cool.
I like extraterrestrial and space a lot.
437
00:21:18,956 --> 00:21:21,208
Do you believe in, like, aliens and stuff?
438
00:21:21,333 --> 00:21:24,129
You know,
a lot of smart people believe in aliens.
439
00:21:24,254 --> 00:21:27,075
Not... I'm not calling you
dumb or anything, you know.
440
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,049
[Jake] Stop. Hey, hey.
441
00:21:29,174 --> 00:21:30,864
What I'm saying is
I'm into science fiction, too.
442
00:21:30,884 --> 00:21:32,177
It's... It's cool, like...
443
00:21:32,302 --> 00:21:35,385
You know,
extraterrestrials are not science fiction.
444
00:21:37,350 --> 00:21:40,060
Yeah, I get that confused a lot.
Um...
445
00:21:40,185 --> 00:21:42,354
I meant non-fiction.
446
00:21:42,479 --> 00:21:46,026
Um, my brother got me a, uh...
a Philip Dick...
447
00:21:46,151 --> 00:21:49,695
You can borrow this. It's...
It's pretty great.
448
00:21:49,820 --> 00:21:53,657
Um, just make sure you return it,
'cause it's a first edition.
449
00:21:53,782 --> 00:21:58,205
It's about aliens and stuff, right?
Ros... Roswell?
450
00:21:58,330 --> 00:22:01,207
- Hm.
- [Ez] Hey, Howard.
451
00:22:01,332 --> 00:22:05,878
Why don't you come back to planet Earth,
hang with the normal people?
452
00:22:06,003 --> 00:22:08,075
[He ululates]
453
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,257
Why do you hang out with that asshole
every summer?
454
00:22:10,382 --> 00:22:14,428
- He's not... Yeah, he's an asshole.
- [He exhales]
455
00:22:14,553 --> 00:22:17,806
I've known him for so long, and...
456
00:22:17,931 --> 00:22:20,418
- he's not that bad.
- Not that bad compared to what? Ebola?
457
00:22:20,543 --> 00:22:22,770
[Door opens;
Clamouring]
458
00:22:22,895 --> 00:22:24,283
Oh! No, no, no, no, no.
459
00:22:24,408 --> 00:22:26,048
Shut it down!
Gesher boys, get your stuff!
460
00:22:26,106 --> 00:22:28,066
- Sorry, sorry.
- Go, go, go, go, go!
461
00:22:28,191 --> 00:22:29,444
Let's go, let's go!
462
00:22:29,569 --> 00:22:32,112
- Bye!
- Counsellor Jane, look at you, baby.
463
00:22:32,237 --> 00:22:33,739
Sorry, we're working.
464
00:22:33,864 --> 00:22:36,450
That's adorable,
and really on-trend right now.
465
00:22:36,575 --> 00:22:38,494
[Sarah] Laters!
466
00:22:38,619 --> 00:22:42,122
All right, ladies,
if I can still call you that,
467
00:22:42,247 --> 00:22:44,875
I think we need to have a little chat.
468
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,554
[Tentative music]
469
00:22:46,679 --> 00:22:48,462
I am ashamed.
470
00:22:48,587 --> 00:22:50,923
Shocked.
471
00:22:51,048 --> 00:22:52,884
Shock, shame.
472
00:22:53,009 --> 00:22:54,885
I'm the S-words.
473
00:22:55,010 --> 00:22:57,539
In my defence, I was highly against it.
474
00:22:57,664 --> 00:22:59,766
[Ez chuckles]
475
00:22:59,891 --> 00:23:01,809
[Hulk] What went down tonight,
476
00:23:01,934 --> 00:23:04,102
not cool.
477
00:23:04,227 --> 00:23:06,756
What was not cool about it?
478
00:23:06,881 --> 00:23:10,275
We left our bunks after curfew.
479
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,155
Um, we raided the girls' cabin.
480
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,490
- God-damn it, Max!
- Uh, my name's Ivan.
481
00:23:16,615 --> 00:23:18,201
Whatever!
482
00:23:19,409 --> 00:23:21,912
It's not cool because you got caught.
483
00:23:22,037 --> 00:23:26,708
What's not fun is being pregnant at camp.
484
00:23:26,833 --> 00:23:29,004
That is not fun.
485
00:23:29,129 --> 00:23:31,630
We can go ahead and call up
Carly Steinberg,
486
00:23:31,755 --> 00:23:34,800
summer of '99, and ask her ourselves.
487
00:23:34,925 --> 00:23:37,554
She used to be
the most popular girl at camp,
488
00:23:37,679 --> 00:23:40,560
and now she works at Hot Dog on a Stick,
489
00:23:40,685 --> 00:23:43,058
dipping wieners into batter!
490
00:23:43,183 --> 00:23:46,103
Yeah. Yeah, boys...
491
00:23:46,228 --> 00:23:48,647
this is summer camp.
492
00:23:48,772 --> 00:23:51,692
Get in trouble, take risks.
493
00:23:51,817 --> 00:23:53,417
Live it up.
494
00:23:53,542 --> 00:23:55,737
This is your time.
495
00:23:55,862 --> 00:24:00,355
Unless you get caught
like a bunch of dipshits.
496
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,744
- And you know what she drives?
- What?
497
00:24:02,869 --> 00:24:07,719
She drives a '99 Honda Civic.
498
00:24:07,844 --> 00:24:09,251
That's embarrassing.
499
00:24:09,376 --> 00:24:12,546
When I went to Camp Pearlstein...
500
00:24:12,671 --> 00:24:14,464
I did some ratchet shit.
501
00:24:14,589 --> 00:24:17,035
Lost my virginity in a canoe.
502
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,262
Got high on the roof of the cafeteria.
503
00:24:20,387 --> 00:24:24,392
Hell, I even took some secret Polaroids
of the girls changing.
504
00:24:24,517 --> 00:24:27,102
This... This is before internet porn,
505
00:24:27,227 --> 00:24:29,397
so, you had to be creative.
506
00:24:29,522 --> 00:24:32,983
Gentlemen... be creative.
507
00:24:33,108 --> 00:24:34,860
Take risks.
508
00:24:34,985 --> 00:24:37,237
And don't get caught, you ding-dongs.
509
00:24:37,362 --> 00:24:39,573
Okay, yeah. But what are Polaroids?
510
00:24:39,698 --> 00:24:43,080
- It's a photo, Honey Boo Boo.
- [Ez chuckles]
511
00:24:43,205 --> 00:24:46,038
You know what? Cheese it, boys.
512
00:24:46,163 --> 00:24:48,542
It's going time.
513
00:24:50,230 --> 00:24:52,336
[Door opens, shuts]
514
00:24:52,461 --> 00:24:54,338
[Jake] Hulk is such a man-child.
515
00:24:54,463 --> 00:24:57,134
Dude, Hulk is the king of camp.
Ooh!
516
00:24:57,259 --> 00:24:59,760
- Look!
- [Passionate moaning]
517
00:24:59,885 --> 00:25:01,429
- I got Legal Skin.
- [Jake] Whoo!
518
00:25:01,554 --> 00:25:04,848
- The fuck is Legal Skin?
- Asian juggaroos!
519
00:25:04,973 --> 00:25:07,727
[Eerie music]
520
00:25:15,484 --> 00:25:19,821
[Music builds,
shutter clicks gradually grow louder]
521
00:25:19,946 --> 00:25:21,324
[Music stops]
522
00:25:21,449 --> 00:25:24,743
[Upbeat music]
523
00:25:24,868 --> 00:25:27,120
- Here!
- Whoo!
524
00:25:27,245 --> 00:25:30,500
[Indistinct chatter]
525
00:25:45,806 --> 00:25:48,310
[Music subsides]
526
00:25:48,435 --> 00:25:50,936
[Randy] Guys, if we could just
settle down for a brief second.
527
00:25:51,061 --> 00:25:54,147
- [Jason] It seems very loud in here.
- [Randy] Everybody, calm down.
528
00:25:54,272 --> 00:25:56,592
It seems... We can't shout
above the crazy din
529
00:25:56,717 --> 00:25:58,215
- that's going...
- [Jason] Sheket.
530
00:25:58,340 --> 00:26:00,153
- Sheket Bevakashah.
- Hey.
531
00:26:00,278 --> 00:26:01,598
We shouldn't be the ones hey-ing.
532
00:26:01,656 --> 00:26:03,970
- It should be coming from you.
- It's a give-and-take right now.
533
00:26:03,990 --> 00:26:07,370
- It's like a Joe Lieberman rally.
- It's like a Joe Lieberman rally.
534
00:26:07,495 --> 00:26:10,055
- Everybody, calm down right now.
- [Jason] I think we'll just...
535
00:26:10,075 --> 00:26:12,190
Okay, as your head and assistant...
536
00:26:12,315 --> 00:26:14,655
- Co-rabbi.
- It's more of a co-Rabbi situation.
537
00:26:14,780 --> 00:26:16,086
Co-rabbis.
538
00:26:16,211 --> 00:26:19,297
We would like to start off today
with a story.
539
00:26:19,422 --> 00:26:22,367
- [Randy] Yes. It's more of a fable.
- It's still a story.
540
00:26:22,492 --> 00:26:24,409
Everyone's gonna learn a lesson
by the end of it.
541
00:26:24,429 --> 00:26:28,098
- It's about a farmer.
- A farmer in rural Poland.
542
00:26:28,223 --> 00:26:29,891
- Yes.
- Small town in Poland.
543
00:26:30,016 --> 00:26:32,185
- Yes.
- And, mind you, this is not a rich man.
544
00:26:32,310 --> 00:26:33,562
Nor was he a poor man.
545
00:26:33,687 --> 00:26:36,023
Well, the incidents
of his financial situation
546
00:26:36,148 --> 00:26:37,755
- were not made public.
- It wasn't an incident.
547
00:26:37,775 --> 00:26:39,882
We're not saying there was
an incident involving his finances.
548
00:26:39,902 --> 00:26:42,782
[Randy] We shouldn't be looking into
other people's financial situations.
549
00:26:42,864 --> 00:26:47,075
This man was approached
by a beggar one day, asking for money.
550
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,786
Which is what a beggar does.
551
00:26:48,911 --> 00:26:51,231
- If he's doing it right...
- [Jason] He's doing his thing.
552
00:26:51,329 --> 00:26:54,916
- ..he's gonna be asking for money.
- [Jason] And he said no.
553
00:26:55,041 --> 00:26:57,377
He said, "I will not give you my money."
554
00:26:57,502 --> 00:27:00,654
[Randy] This man went away. And the man
who refused to give the beggar money,
555
00:27:00,779 --> 00:27:02,675
he became poor for seven years.
556
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,010
- Seven long years of poverty.
- Seven years.
557
00:27:05,135 --> 00:27:08,431
And he understood that he should have
given money the first time around.
558
00:27:08,556 --> 00:27:10,196
Because he came back, and who did he see?
559
00:27:10,307 --> 00:27:12,810
- The original beggar.
- [Jason] The man he refused.
560
00:27:12,935 --> 00:27:15,103
And this man is now dressed in a long...
561
00:27:15,228 --> 00:27:18,524
- Technicolour duster.
- It was more of a kaftan than a duster.
562
00:27:18,649 --> 00:27:21,860
It was a beautiful coat
signifying his new-found wealth.
563
00:27:21,985 --> 00:27:23,571
[Jason] He was wealthy now.
564
00:27:23,696 --> 00:27:26,094
[Randy] So, the man asked the
original beggar, "Can I have some money?"
565
00:27:26,114 --> 00:27:27,534
Know what the beggar said?
566
00:27:27,659 --> 00:27:29,459
- [Jason] "Take it."
- [Randy] "Take my money.
567
00:27:29,494 --> 00:27:31,537
- "Take my wife for an evening."
- "Take my wife."
568
00:27:31,662 --> 00:27:34,873
And they made beautiful love
through a hole in a sheet
569
00:27:34,998 --> 00:27:37,835
on Shabbos, which was a double mitzvah.
570
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,520
- Two mitzvahs in one.
- Now, do we know
571
00:27:39,628 --> 00:27:41,318
- if this beggar was an angel?
- We don't know.
572
00:27:41,338 --> 00:27:44,674
- We don't know who this beggar was.
- Was he sent down here to test us?
573
00:27:44,799 --> 00:27:46,384
Or was he an angel that was sent...
574
00:27:46,509 --> 00:27:50,013
[Dreamy music;
Jason and Randy's voices fade]
575
00:27:50,138 --> 00:27:52,599
- [Randy] Tzedakah.
- [Jason] Tzedakah.
576
00:27:52,724 --> 00:27:55,102
It's not such a bad thing.
577
00:27:55,227 --> 00:27:57,397
[Music continues]
578
00:28:04,485 --> 00:28:06,802
[Jason] Jacob, isn't that right?
Isn't that what we're talking about here?
579
00:28:06,822 --> 00:28:08,220
Jacob, is that
what we're talking about here?
580
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:12,369
- Maya, not here, come on.
- [He chuckles]
581
00:28:12,494 --> 00:28:14,414
Maya.
582
00:28:16,499 --> 00:28:19,209
My, uh... My, uh...
583
00:28:19,334 --> 00:28:22,170
My yarmulke, it was... it was askew.
584
00:28:22,295 --> 00:28:24,653
- I'm glad you're listening.
- There's somebody who's listening.
585
00:28:24,673 --> 00:28:27,884
- Somebody who calmed down for a second.
- Everybody should be listening
586
00:28:28,009 --> 00:28:30,178
- to your heart.
- Listen to your souls.
587
00:28:30,303 --> 00:28:32,389
Listen to the little man or woman
inside of you.
588
00:28:32,514 --> 00:28:36,061
Some of you... And I'm just
gesturing in this general vicinity...
589
00:28:36,186 --> 00:28:38,631
[Tranquil music]
590
00:28:43,191 --> 00:28:45,414
Did you find anything?
591
00:28:46,945 --> 00:28:48,865
[Angela] Not yet.
592
00:28:50,407 --> 00:28:52,202
[Howard] Close your eyes.
593
00:28:52,327 --> 00:28:54,648
- What?
- Close your eyes.
594
00:29:03,545 --> 00:29:07,090
Now we have... our hats,
595
00:29:07,215 --> 00:29:10,093
so the aliens can't hurt us.
596
00:29:10,218 --> 00:29:14,306
Right, 'cause tin hats
will protect us from extraterrestrials.
597
00:29:14,431 --> 00:29:16,141
I made it in Arts and Crafts.
598
00:29:16,266 --> 00:29:19,167
[She chuckles softly]
599
00:29:19,292 --> 00:29:22,397
Well, I'm not afraid of 'em.
600
00:29:22,522 --> 00:29:26,713
They're the normal ones, really.
It's humans that scare me.
601
00:29:29,946 --> 00:29:32,240
Most of 'em, anyways.
602
00:29:32,365 --> 00:29:34,075
[Music continues]
603
00:29:40,166 --> 00:29:43,329
[Laid-back music, indistinct chatter]
604
00:29:47,714 --> 00:29:49,925
I need an adjective.
605
00:29:51,217 --> 00:29:53,303
"Slutty."
606
00:29:53,428 --> 00:29:54,805
- Slutty?
- Slutty.
607
00:29:54,930 --> 00:29:58,975
"Slutty," I like that. I like slutty.
Slutty's good. Plural noun.
608
00:29:59,100 --> 00:30:02,229
- "Vagina."
- No, dude, it has to be a plural noun.
609
00:30:02,354 --> 00:30:04,147
Uh, vaginas.
610
00:30:04,272 --> 00:30:06,901
It's so nice hearing that word
come out of your mouth, Ivan.
611
00:30:07,026 --> 00:30:09,236
I'm very impressed.
Very nice. Vagina's good.
612
00:30:09,361 --> 00:30:11,404
- Noun?
- Uh, "shit"?
613
00:30:11,529 --> 00:30:13,408
- Another adjective?
- "Fucking."
614
00:30:13,533 --> 00:30:17,144
- That's, like, an adverb, though, right?
- [Ivan] Mm-mm, no.
615
00:30:17,269 --> 00:30:19,287
- That would be "fuckingly."
- Mm.
616
00:30:19,412 --> 00:30:24,319
[Sarah] Fuck Chris Hemsworth.
Um, marry Chris Pratt
617
00:30:24,444 --> 00:30:26,211
- and kill Chris Evans?
- [Ilana scoffs]
618
00:30:26,336 --> 00:30:28,213
Well, I'm sorry, it was a...
619
00:30:28,338 --> 00:30:31,925
it was a hard decision,
but somebody had to make the call.
620
00:30:32,050 --> 00:30:33,762
Oh, okay.
621
00:30:33,887 --> 00:30:37,932
Um, what about Ez, Howard, and Jake?
622
00:30:38,057 --> 00:30:40,873
Can I just say that I would marry Ivan?
I know that he wasn't in that one.
623
00:30:40,893 --> 00:30:44,814
- I know he's gay, but he's, so sweet.
- No, I would totally fuck Ivan.
624
00:30:44,939 --> 00:30:46,503
[Sarah] I feel like
he'd love me unconditionally,
625
00:30:46,523 --> 00:30:48,243
even if it was
in a friend-zone sort of way.
626
00:30:48,316 --> 00:30:50,215
- Okay, that's too far.
- I wouldn't mind at all.
627
00:30:50,235 --> 00:30:54,699
You can't keep using "fucking."
Use your imaginations, guys, come on.
628
00:30:54,824 --> 00:30:57,409
- [Howard] "Pounding."
- Ooh, "erect."
629
00:30:57,534 --> 00:30:59,120
This game is fun.
630
00:30:59,245 --> 00:31:00,892
Can you guys just
answer the actual question?
631
00:31:00,912 --> 00:31:01,935
- Okay.
- Wait, who was it?
632
00:31:01,955 --> 00:31:03,957
It was Ez, Howard, and Jake.
633
00:31:04,082 --> 00:31:06,418
I would marry Jake and fuck Howard.
634
00:31:06,543 --> 00:31:08,044
I'd do the opposite.
I'd marry Howard.
635
00:31:08,169 --> 00:31:10,735
No, I don't know.
Jake, you know. Hm.
636
00:31:10,860 --> 00:31:13,823
- Plural noun.
- "Haemorrhoids."
637
00:31:15,593 --> 00:31:19,641
- What is that?
- It's, like, a disease kinda...
638
00:31:20,725 --> 00:31:23,323
- ..I don't know, like, in your asshole?
- [Ez chuckles]
639
00:31:24,727 --> 00:31:26,815
- My dad had it.
- [All chuckle]
640
00:31:28,525 --> 00:31:30,358
Did it smell weird?
641
00:31:30,483 --> 00:31:33,778
Like, my dad's room always
smells like fish-sticks and baby-wipes.
642
00:31:33,903 --> 00:31:37,700
I really hope we don't have
fish-sticks for lunch tomorrow.
643
00:31:37,825 --> 00:31:40,077
- "Foreskin."
- Plural noun.
644
00:31:40,202 --> 00:31:42,287
Dude, there's, like, so many nouns.
645
00:31:42,412 --> 00:31:44,398
Okay, so, I think my wedding
646
00:31:44,523 --> 00:31:48,335
is gonna be at, like,
the end of September, in Napa.
647
00:31:48,460 --> 00:31:49,962
Aw, that's so nice.
648
00:31:50,087 --> 00:31:53,173
I love Napa.
It'd be, like, so flawless and nice.
649
00:31:53,298 --> 00:31:54,842
Yeah, I know.
650
00:31:54,967 --> 00:31:57,785
[Both] ♪ Wake up, flawless,
post up, flawless. ♪
651
00:31:57,910 --> 00:31:59,889
[Ilana] You all know that?
652
00:32:00,014 --> 00:32:04,852
I mean, like, I don't really, like,
believe in the concept of marriage,
653
00:32:04,977 --> 00:32:08,605
but if I were to get married,
I'd want it to be in, like, a submarine.
654
00:32:08,730 --> 00:32:12,984
Well, as Rabbi Randy says,
if you will it, it is no dream.
655
00:32:13,109 --> 00:32:14,869
Um, Elana,
that's a quote from Theodor Herzl.
656
00:32:14,945 --> 00:32:18,658
Rabbi Randy literally just said it
yesterday. Were you not there?
657
00:32:18,783 --> 00:32:20,785
I'm gonna go sneak
some food from the canteen
658
00:32:20,910 --> 00:32:23,704
before you guys start
putting your hair up in bobby pins.
659
00:32:23,829 --> 00:32:25,665
That's not all we do, Maya.
660
00:32:25,790 --> 00:32:27,290
[Maya] You coming?
661
00:32:27,415 --> 00:32:30,335
"When my best friend
and I got to the carnival,
662
00:32:30,460 --> 00:32:35,758
"we go on as many slutty rides as we can
before we run out of vaginas.
663
00:32:35,883 --> 00:32:37,968
"We drive the bumper whores around
664
00:32:38,093 --> 00:32:41,346
"like crazy haemorrhoids
sucking into each other,
665
00:32:41,471 --> 00:32:46,351
"screaming at the top
of our fuckingly sweaty...
666
00:32:47,602 --> 00:32:50,147
- "..titties."
- [All laugh]
667
00:32:50,272 --> 00:32:52,357
Guys, hands in the middle.
Hands in the middle.
668
00:32:52,482 --> 00:32:53,818
- On three for the boys.
- Yeah.
669
00:32:53,943 --> 00:32:56,861
Howard, get in here.
One, two, three.
670
00:32:56,986 --> 00:32:58,279
[All] For the boys!
671
00:32:58,404 --> 00:33:00,267
[Music concludes]
672
00:33:00,392 --> 00:33:03,576
[Gentle music]
673
00:33:03,701 --> 00:33:05,788
[Angela] I actually like being out here.
674
00:33:05,913 --> 00:33:08,849
Away from all the perfect people
back at home.
675
00:33:10,084 --> 00:33:11,919
Especially my sister.
676
00:33:12,044 --> 00:33:13,547
She's so annoying.
677
00:33:13,672 --> 00:33:16,214
[Music subsides]
678
00:33:16,339 --> 00:33:18,050
[Maya] Yeah.
679
00:33:18,175 --> 00:33:20,385
Yeah, I mean, I feel that.
680
00:33:20,510 --> 00:33:22,472
- You know...
- [Bag rustles]
681
00:33:22,597 --> 00:33:25,306
It's just...
It's hard to figure out who you are
682
00:33:25,431 --> 00:33:28,060
when you're always
in someone else's shadow.
683
00:33:34,357 --> 00:33:37,820
Challah? It's the bread of my people.
Eat, child.
684
00:33:37,945 --> 00:33:40,083
- It looks good.
- [Both chuckle]
685
00:33:41,575 --> 00:33:43,212
Nice.
686
00:33:46,257 --> 00:33:48,769
- [She chuckles softly]
- It's just that...
687
00:33:48,894 --> 00:33:50,894
that's exactly my point.
688
00:33:51,959 --> 00:33:53,993
Being in someone else's shadow.
689
00:33:56,004 --> 00:33:58,079
It's like when I come out here...
690
00:33:59,507 --> 00:34:03,089
..I look up and I see the millions
of stars and the millions of planets.
691
00:34:04,345 --> 00:34:06,191
All sequestered in...
692
00:34:06,316 --> 00:34:08,316
constantly expanding nebulae.
693
00:34:09,726 --> 00:34:11,332
And I just...
694
00:34:12,478 --> 00:34:14,915
..think about how big the universe is.
695
00:34:17,109 --> 00:34:21,446
And just the possibility
of life somewhere else...
696
00:34:24,699 --> 00:34:27,619
..just makes my problems seem small.
697
00:34:27,744 --> 00:34:29,414
You're pretty cool.
698
00:34:29,539 --> 00:34:31,539
[Both chuckle]
699
00:34:35,169 --> 00:34:38,256
"I'm Ilana. I have to work
off all the carbs by power walking."
700
00:34:38,381 --> 00:34:41,426
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Like you're on the runway or something.
701
00:34:41,551 --> 00:34:43,551
[Maya chuckles]
702
00:34:46,804 --> 00:34:50,283
[Maya, in posh accent]
Bravo. After you, darling.
703
00:34:51,982 --> 00:34:53,982
[Disquieting music]
704
00:34:57,023 --> 00:35:00,235
[Muffled laughter;
Shutter clicks gradually grow louder]
705
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,525
[Upbeat music]
706
00:35:05,615 --> 00:35:07,455
[Hulk] All right, ladies.
707
00:35:08,493 --> 00:35:10,703
Five more seconds of tread.
Come on now.
708
00:35:10,828 --> 00:35:12,039
[Howard moans]
709
00:35:12,164 --> 00:35:15,419
All right, Howard is making
weird sex noises. Ten more seconds.
710
00:35:15,544 --> 00:35:18,211
[Music subsides]
711
00:35:18,336 --> 00:35:19,673
[Hulk] And time.
712
00:35:19,798 --> 00:35:21,591
[Whistle blows]
713
00:35:21,716 --> 00:35:25,011
- Free swim, baby. Let's do it!
- [He chuckles]
714
00:35:25,136 --> 00:35:27,283
[Indistinct chatter]
715
00:35:33,267 --> 00:35:34,975
Yo, dude, where's Jake?
716
00:35:36,271 --> 00:35:39,233
I don't know. I'm not his mom.
He can do whatever he wants.
717
00:35:39,358 --> 00:35:41,026
It's free time.
718
00:35:41,151 --> 00:35:43,736
- You all right, man?
- I'm fine.
719
00:35:43,861 --> 00:35:48,200
What, are you just pissed 'cause...
'cause I've been giving Angela shit?
720
00:35:48,325 --> 00:35:49,742
I...
721
00:35:49,867 --> 00:35:52,704
Look, for the last time,
I don't care what you think of Angela.
722
00:35:52,829 --> 00:35:55,040
I think she's cool, okay?
723
00:35:55,165 --> 00:35:57,960
And frankly,
it really doesn't matter what you think.
724
00:35:58,085 --> 00:35:59,691
Well, dude,
you know I'm looking out for you, right?
725
00:35:59,711 --> 00:36:01,651
Like, that's the only reason
I'm being hard on you.
726
00:36:01,671 --> 00:36:03,404
Just leave her alone.
727
00:36:04,841 --> 00:36:07,468
Gang, we found some faecal matter
in the pool last week,
728
00:36:07,593 --> 00:36:10,388
and I'm afraid it tested for human.
729
00:36:10,513 --> 00:36:12,266
My bad.
730
00:36:12,391 --> 00:36:15,055
Wasn't quite sure
how the filtration system worked here.
731
00:36:32,704 --> 00:36:34,704
[Disquieting music]
732
00:36:36,458 --> 00:36:39,250
[Music subsides]
733
00:36:39,375 --> 00:36:41,505
[Hulk] Guys,
easy with those noodle sticks.
734
00:36:41,630 --> 00:36:44,006
[Indistinct chatter]
735
00:36:44,131 --> 00:36:46,386
Yo, Jake, I call first shower!
736
00:36:49,554 --> 00:36:51,042
Jake?
737
00:36:58,436 --> 00:37:00,168
[Lily] Everyone seems to think
that their best concert
738
00:37:00,188 --> 00:37:02,398
was Big Cypress, New Year's Eve, 1999,
739
00:37:02,523 --> 00:37:07,072
but my personal favourite is Saturday,
June 11th, 1994, at Red Rocks.
740
00:37:07,197 --> 00:37:09,781
That version of Stash is perfect.
741
00:37:09,906 --> 00:37:12,617
[Maya] Wow, that's amazing.
742
00:37:12,742 --> 00:37:15,267
Ever since I started smoking weed,
I've just really gotten into Phish.
743
00:37:15,287 --> 00:37:16,579
Oh, that's funny.
744
00:37:16,704 --> 00:37:20,416
Ever since I started sniffing glue,
I've been really into Fall Out Boy.
745
00:37:20,541 --> 00:37:23,337
- Wait, really?
- No, Lily, that's a joke.
746
00:37:23,462 --> 00:37:25,713
- Oh.
- [She chuckles]
747
00:37:25,838 --> 00:37:28,549
God, I have never been
so bored in my life.
748
00:37:28,674 --> 00:37:30,344
[Lily] Well, that's about to change.
749
00:37:30,469 --> 00:37:33,514
Time for you to experience wonder.
750
00:37:34,597 --> 00:37:36,266
- Come on, M.
- Where did you get that?
751
00:37:36,391 --> 00:37:38,352
[Lily] That girl Sarah gave it to me.
752
00:37:38,477 --> 00:37:40,895
Here. A little bit goes a long way,
just to let you know,
753
00:37:41,020 --> 00:37:43,481
'cause, like,
one time I ate a whole pot brownie,
754
00:37:43,606 --> 00:37:45,067
I spent the day playing with my dog,
755
00:37:45,192 --> 00:37:48,112
but then I realised my dog got hit
by a car when I was, like, eight, so...
756
00:37:48,195 --> 00:37:50,283
- Oh.
- Just take a little.
757
00:37:52,824 --> 00:37:54,369
Takes a second to kick in.
758
00:37:54,494 --> 00:37:56,494
[Indistinct chatter]
759
00:37:57,622 --> 00:38:00,121
[Randy inhales deeply, exhales]
760
00:38:01,666 --> 00:38:04,086
I saw a real Nazi.
761
00:38:04,211 --> 00:38:07,256
Ivan, Ivan, Ivan, Ivan, Ivan, Ivan.
762
00:38:07,381 --> 00:38:09,216
You're a good kid, Ivan.
763
00:38:09,341 --> 00:38:12,596
- We are a persecuted people.
- Throughout history.
764
00:38:12,721 --> 00:38:15,972
And that persecution leads to vigilance.
This is just your vigilance...
765
00:38:16,097 --> 00:38:17,520
[Jason] And your creativity.
766
00:38:17,645 --> 00:38:20,685
..forming a bond together
for your eventual benefit.
767
00:38:20,810 --> 00:38:23,000
Yeah, but...
768
00:38:23,125 --> 00:38:24,772
I'm not creative.
769
00:38:24,897 --> 00:38:26,442
I got a B in art.
770
00:38:26,567 --> 00:38:28,318
- He got a B!
- He got a B.
771
00:38:28,443 --> 00:38:31,799
- [Randy] He got a B in art.
- And he's acting like it's a bad thing.
772
00:38:31,924 --> 00:38:33,865
Hang that B right on the old refrigerator.
773
00:38:33,990 --> 00:38:37,286
- Refrigerator. Put it up.
- [Randy] Did Picasso ever get above a B?
774
00:38:37,411 --> 00:38:38,622
- Straight Cs.
- Never did.
775
00:38:38,747 --> 00:38:40,330
[Jason] Straight Cs.
776
00:38:40,455 --> 00:38:42,937
- And I love that you have the scepticism.
- Keep the scepticism.
777
00:38:42,957 --> 00:38:44,418
Be sceptical of everything.
778
00:38:44,543 --> 00:38:46,263
Be sceptical
of what we're saying right now.
779
00:38:46,336 --> 00:38:47,795
What I just said, question it.
780
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:49,779
- [Randy] Don't believe us.
- [Jason] But I will tell you this.
781
00:38:49,799 --> 00:38:51,549
The Nazis are coming back.
782
00:38:51,674 --> 00:38:54,677
They're coming... Maybe not in
our lifetime, maybe not in your lifetime.
783
00:38:54,802 --> 00:38:56,784
- Probably in your lifetime.
- Probably in your lifetime.
784
00:38:56,804 --> 00:39:00,975
And we need to be ready to flee
at a moment's notice.
785
00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:02,852
Mark our words.
786
00:39:02,977 --> 00:39:07,815
We will continue talking in this way
until you understand.
787
00:39:11,860 --> 00:39:15,615
Hey, dude, do you ever think about,
like, how 'cause, like,
788
00:39:15,740 --> 00:39:18,130
- plants are living things and shit...
- Uh-huh?
789
00:39:18,255 --> 00:39:20,475
..like, if you bit into a piece of fruit,
like, does it feel it?
790
00:39:20,495 --> 00:39:22,289
- Like, what if it screamed?
- [Maya gasps]
791
00:39:22,414 --> 00:39:23,853
- Dude, what if it fucking screamed?
- [Maya laughs]
792
00:39:23,873 --> 00:39:26,293
Like, when you bit into, like,
a fucking orange or something,
793
00:39:26,418 --> 00:39:28,253
- it was like, "Argh!"
- [Maya laughs]
794
00:39:28,378 --> 00:39:29,942
Like, they're here
and they're, like, judging you.
795
00:39:29,962 --> 00:39:32,762
- Like, "You shouldn't be doing that."
- Hi, there. Hey, you guys okay?
796
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:34,967
Where'd you come from?
797
00:39:35,092 --> 00:39:38,012
- Over there.
- Were you watching us?
798
00:39:38,137 --> 00:39:41,113
- You were spying on us.
- No. No, I wasn't, guys. Come on.
799
00:39:41,238 --> 00:39:43,726
No, I'm just trying to
help you get back. Let's go.
800
00:39:43,851 --> 00:39:45,109
No.
801
00:39:45,234 --> 00:39:46,500
- There you go.
- No, you weren't.
802
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,240
- Easy does it.
- [Maya] Where are we going?
803
00:39:48,273 --> 00:39:51,153
- I was. Don't worry. Come on.
- Wait. Jack, Jack, do you want a brownie?
804
00:39:51,235 --> 00:39:54,403
- No, that's okay.
- Ever since last year's brownie disaster,
805
00:39:54,528 --> 00:39:57,824
- I feel a deep sense of trauma.
- No. No, I don't wanna go.
806
00:39:57,949 --> 00:39:59,992
- I wanna stay here. I wanna stay here.
- Come on.
807
00:40:00,117 --> 00:40:01,953
- Uh, Maya...
- No.
808
00:40:02,078 --> 00:40:03,790
Leave me alone, Jack.
809
00:40:03,915 --> 00:40:06,399
[She snorts, giggles]
810
00:40:08,128 --> 00:40:10,024
[Jake] Come on.
Mitch is playing the talent show.
811
00:40:10,044 --> 00:40:12,172
- Lily.
- Really?
812
00:40:12,297 --> 00:40:15,424
All right.
World Gaga Championship, let's go.
813
00:40:15,549 --> 00:40:20,140
- [Ball bounces]
- [Boys] Ga... ga..ga... ga... ga.
814
00:40:20,265 --> 00:40:22,100
[Boy] You're out. You're out.
815
00:40:22,225 --> 00:40:24,225
[Indistinct chatter]
816
00:40:27,604 --> 00:40:30,231
[Boy] Dude, you're out, you're out.
817
00:40:30,356 --> 00:40:32,650
- No Gaga for you?
- [Howard] Uh, no, no, no, no, no.
818
00:40:32,775 --> 00:40:35,862
- What's this?
- You don't have to... That's...
819
00:40:35,987 --> 00:40:37,364
Wait, just tell me. What is it?
820
00:40:37,489 --> 00:40:38,990
- Stop.
- I'm not letting go.
821
00:40:39,115 --> 00:40:40,700
I don't... It's...
822
00:40:40,825 --> 00:40:42,411
Uh, okay.
823
00:40:42,536 --> 00:40:45,913
Um, well, if you let go, I can...
I can tell you...
824
00:40:46,038 --> 00:40:48,084
- what it is.
- [Angela clears throat]
825
00:40:49,166 --> 00:40:50,705
Anyway, um...
826
00:40:52,044 --> 00:40:56,340
No, me and Jake started it,
like, I don't know, five summers ago.
827
00:40:56,465 --> 00:40:59,386
And it started out, like,
just making fun of people,
828
00:40:59,511 --> 00:41:01,929
and then he started to add,
like, storylines.
829
00:41:02,054 --> 00:41:03,612
And originally in the burn book,
830
00:41:03,737 --> 00:41:06,351
we would draw, like,
dicks and stuff like that.
831
00:41:06,476 --> 00:41:08,412
We still draw dicks, there's some dicks.
832
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:10,935
Um...
833
00:41:11,060 --> 00:41:12,660
- [He smacks lips]
- ..but it's pretty...
834
00:41:12,732 --> 00:41:15,194
- Yeah, it's pretty stupid.
- [Angela chuckles]
835
00:41:15,319 --> 00:41:17,238
I don't know. I think it's...
836
00:41:17,363 --> 00:41:19,178
it's pretty cool.
837
00:41:22,658 --> 00:41:24,205
You...
838
00:41:34,756 --> 00:41:36,970
- Oh, wow.
- [He chuckles softly]
839
00:41:39,050 --> 00:41:40,884
You can...
840
00:41:41,009 --> 00:41:42,785
You can keep it.
841
00:41:44,972 --> 00:41:46,937
- I will.
- [She clears throat]
842
00:41:49,015 --> 00:41:51,145
[Lily] Where are you taking us?
843
00:41:51,270 --> 00:41:54,092
- We're lost.
- No, we're not. I... Oh.
844
00:41:55,861 --> 00:41:59,136
- I'm taking you guys back to your cabin.
- [Maya groans]
845
00:42:03,199 --> 00:42:05,410
I wanna get out of this place.
846
00:42:05,535 --> 00:42:07,662
Oh, yeah. Me, too.
847
00:42:07,787 --> 00:42:10,790
Trust me, you're stuck here.
848
00:42:10,915 --> 00:42:14,061
Hey, we can at least
focus on the good stuff, right?
849
00:42:14,186 --> 00:42:16,380
What good stuff?
850
00:42:16,505 --> 00:42:19,051
Oh, come on.
There's gotta be something you like.
851
00:42:20,216 --> 00:42:23,302
All right, well, look. Tell me your
five favourite things about camp, okay?
852
00:42:23,427 --> 00:42:26,222
- Mm.
- Gimme a top five.
853
00:42:26,347 --> 00:42:29,934
Come on. There's gotta... You gotta
be able to give me something. Come on.
854
00:42:30,059 --> 00:42:32,248
I like...
855
00:42:32,373 --> 00:42:35,482
- playing soccer with Howard.
- Okay, sure.
856
00:42:35,607 --> 00:42:38,402
- Yeah.
- Yeah, absolutely.
857
00:42:38,527 --> 00:42:40,966
I don't love playing soccer,
'cause it involves a lot of running
858
00:42:40,986 --> 00:42:43,430
and being athletic and stuff like that.
What else? Come on, gimme something else.
859
00:42:43,450 --> 00:42:45,574
[Maya laughs]
860
00:42:45,699 --> 00:42:49,120
Uh... Oh, I like eating
in the canteen with Angela.
861
00:42:49,245 --> 00:42:51,998
Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure.
862
00:42:52,123 --> 00:42:56,336
Yeah, definitely.
The food is kind of hit-and-miss.
863
00:42:56,461 --> 00:42:59,046
- Yeah.
- That lasagne is sketch, questionable.
864
00:42:59,171 --> 00:43:00,737
Wait for me!
865
00:43:04,218 --> 00:43:07,066
Yeah. A kid almost died
on lasagne last year.
866
00:43:07,191 --> 00:43:08,682
- It's true.
- This is for you.
867
00:43:08,807 --> 00:43:11,058
- [Jake] Okay. Something else.
- Ooh, okay.
868
00:43:11,183 --> 00:43:14,467
Um, uh...
869
00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:16,839
Oh, I like those Shabbat dinners.
870
00:43:16,964 --> 00:43:20,985
Shabbat... Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, okay. All right. Um, one more.
871
00:43:21,110 --> 00:43:23,697
- Um...
- Okay. Whoa, whoa. Easy, easy.
872
00:43:23,822 --> 00:43:24,947
[Maya] Hmm.
873
00:43:25,072 --> 00:43:26,855
- One more.
- [Maya exhales]
874
00:43:28,036 --> 00:43:30,939
What's that bread?
That... That "challa"...
875
00:43:31,064 --> 00:43:32,830
[Maya stutters, hesitates]
876
00:43:32,955 --> 00:43:35,836
- Oh, Challah. Challah, yeah.
- Challah. Challah bread.
877
00:43:35,961 --> 00:43:37,461
- Okay.
- [Maya] That's good.
878
00:43:37,586 --> 00:43:40,296
- Yeah.
- [Maya] I like that a lot. Yeah, it's...
879
00:43:40,421 --> 00:43:43,841
Four to five of those things
were food-related.
880
00:43:43,966 --> 00:43:46,510
Anything, like, non-food-related
you love about camp?
881
00:43:46,635 --> 00:43:50,181
Hmm. Fudgesicles. Mm-hm.
882
00:43:50,306 --> 00:43:51,902
Mm-hm.
883
00:43:52,027 --> 00:43:53,357
Sort of food.
884
00:43:53,482 --> 00:43:56,605
- Kind of... It's, like, ice...
- I think I'm gonna go take a shower.
885
00:43:56,730 --> 00:43:58,608
[Jake] Uh...
886
00:43:58,733 --> 00:44:00,483
okay.
887
00:44:00,608 --> 00:44:02,569
- So, I...
- I think I'm gonna go, too.
888
00:44:02,694 --> 00:44:05,613
- [Jake] Okay.
- Mm-hm. But...
889
00:44:05,738 --> 00:44:07,909
- Oh, I...
- [Maya chuckles]
890
00:44:09,450 --> 00:44:11,368
You're so cute.
891
00:44:11,493 --> 00:44:14,040
[Jake chuckles awkwardly]
892
00:44:18,542 --> 00:44:21,225
- [Door shuts]
- I'll wait here.
893
00:44:25,437 --> 00:44:27,437
[He exhales]
894
00:44:30,972 --> 00:44:33,326
- [Jake] Fuck.
- [He groans]
895
00:44:40,788 --> 00:44:42,788
[He groans]
896
00:44:44,610 --> 00:44:46,610
[Dreamy music]
897
00:44:56,831 --> 00:44:58,792
[Ez] Oh, shit.
898
00:44:58,917 --> 00:45:01,463
Jake, you dirty little savage.
899
00:45:01,588 --> 00:45:03,588
[Music continues]
900
00:45:07,700 --> 00:45:09,700
[He strains]
901
00:45:16,976 --> 00:45:18,355
[He exhales]
902
00:45:22,935 --> 00:45:24,400
[Door opens;
Squeal]
903
00:45:24,525 --> 00:45:27,037
- [Music stops]
- [Jake] Oh, hey. Uh...
904
00:45:28,237 --> 00:45:30,158
[He groans]
905
00:45:30,283 --> 00:45:33,492
I'm going to back out slowly
906
00:45:33,617 --> 00:45:37,037
and you are going to put that away.
907
00:45:37,162 --> 00:45:40,627
And then we're gonna call the rabbis.
Mazel tov.
908
00:45:40,752 --> 00:45:42,501
[Door shuts]
909
00:45:42,626 --> 00:45:43,880
[He groans]
910
00:45:44,005 --> 00:45:46,005
[Indistinct chatter]
911
00:45:48,969 --> 00:45:52,303
- Hey.
- [Ez] Hey, you wanna see something cool?
912
00:45:52,428 --> 00:45:53,719
[Howard] Sure.
913
00:45:56,265 --> 00:45:57,474
What is it?
914
00:45:57,599 --> 00:45:58,976
Check it out.
915
00:45:59,101 --> 00:46:00,146
Hm?
916
00:46:01,866 --> 00:46:04,148
Hm? Zoom in. Zoom in.
Zoom in to that.
917
00:46:04,273 --> 00:46:05,441
Wait, wait. No, not that one.
918
00:46:05,566 --> 00:46:07,589
Zoom in to that one. There we go.
Right there. Zoom in. Right.
919
00:46:07,609 --> 00:46:09,862
Wow, huh?
920
00:46:09,987 --> 00:46:11,429
Hold...
921
00:46:12,492 --> 00:46:15,658
- Dude.
- There are more, there are more.
922
00:46:17,161 --> 00:46:18,373
Ezra, what the fuck?
923
00:46:19,696 --> 00:46:22,083
- How did you get... What?
- You're welcome.
924
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:26,435
[Indistinct chatter]
925
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:29,591
- Oh, Jacob, it is hot in here right now.
- Jacob.
926
00:46:29,716 --> 00:46:32,761
- Jacob, it is very hot in here.
- Jacob and the coat of many colours.
927
00:46:32,886 --> 00:46:34,303
- That was Joseph.
- Doesn't matter.
928
00:46:34,428 --> 00:46:35,680
Jacob, what we wanna tell you,
929
00:46:35,805 --> 00:46:38,515
I don't even know how to start this,
but I will say this.
930
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:42,853
Men have been given enormous privileges,
mentally and physically.
931
00:46:42,978 --> 00:46:44,773
Mentally and physically.
932
00:46:44,898 --> 00:46:46,942
You understand what I'm saying?
933
00:46:47,067 --> 00:46:48,570
He's talking about the penis!
934
00:46:48,695 --> 00:46:50,801
- There is nothing more powerful...
- Got it.
935
00:46:50,926 --> 00:46:52,739
- ..than the male Jewish penis.
- Okay.
936
00:46:52,864 --> 00:46:54,846
It is one of the most powerful things
in this world.
937
00:46:54,866 --> 00:46:57,340
[Randy] It is like a tiny Aron Kodesh.
938
00:46:57,465 --> 00:46:58,933
- [Jason] So holy. So powerful.
- Okay.
939
00:46:58,953 --> 00:47:00,664
[Randy] It's like a dioxin spill.
940
00:47:00,789 --> 00:47:03,389
- [Jason] It's radioactive.
- [Randy] It can ruin the groundwater.
941
00:47:03,415 --> 00:47:05,397
[Jason] It just spills,
and it can ruin everything.
942
00:47:05,417 --> 00:47:07,483
- And I get where you're coming from.
- He understands.
943
00:47:07,503 --> 00:47:10,422
I was young once. My mother walked
in on me watching The Brady Bunch.
944
00:47:10,547 --> 00:47:12,049
He had a little thing for Alice.
945
00:47:12,174 --> 00:47:14,802
I had a thing for Alice.
She was an authoritative figure.
946
00:47:14,927 --> 00:47:17,409
- She didn't belong to the family.
- She was not part of the family.
947
00:47:17,429 --> 00:47:19,891
Maybe she had the power
to spank those children, I don't know.
948
00:47:20,016 --> 00:47:23,352
Maybe she did spank Jan
on and off the set, I don't know.
949
00:47:23,477 --> 00:47:26,397
But I felt it in my loins,
and then imagine my surprise
950
00:47:26,522 --> 00:47:28,962
when I found out later, Ann B Davis,
the woman who played her,
951
00:47:29,024 --> 00:47:31,460
she was a lesbian.
I was even more confused.
952
00:47:31,585 --> 00:47:35,699
It just created a lot of confusion.
The point is, we all have these urges.
953
00:47:35,824 --> 00:47:38,284
- Sure.
- You're gonna have the urges publicly.
954
00:47:38,409 --> 00:47:41,684
We say, when the urges come on,
think about...
955
00:47:41,809 --> 00:47:44,456
- your mother.
- Think about this temple.
956
00:47:44,581 --> 00:47:46,458
- Think about us.
- Think about kugel.
957
00:47:46,583 --> 00:47:49,154
- Think about Israel.
- Think about planting a eucalyptus tree
958
00:47:49,279 --> 00:47:53,176
- in the Golan Heights.
- Think of the 1948 borders.
959
00:47:53,301 --> 00:47:56,595
And then think of
Menachem Begin shaking...
960
00:47:56,720 --> 00:48:00,389
- Nancy Reagan's hand.
- At Camp David, over a piece of corn.
961
00:48:00,514 --> 00:48:05,185
I swear to you, those urges,
those public urges, will dissipate.
962
00:48:05,310 --> 00:48:07,939
- Now, get outta here.
- Get outta here, you.
963
00:48:08,064 --> 00:48:10,066
- Yes! Go.
- Go ahead. Yes, get outta here.
964
00:48:10,191 --> 00:48:12,986
We'll stay in here and shvitz.
Don't worry about us.
965
00:48:13,111 --> 00:48:16,825
- Just keep the Torah in the ark.
- If you know what he means.
966
00:48:16,950 --> 00:48:19,035
[Breezy music]
967
00:48:20,827 --> 00:48:22,621
[Jason, on PA] Good morning,
Camp Pearlstein.
968
00:48:22,746 --> 00:48:26,625
Today, a pitgam, a daily proverb.
969
00:48:26,750 --> 00:48:30,419
"Who is strong?
One who overpowers his inclinations."
970
00:48:30,544 --> 00:48:34,423
On an unrelated note,
Jake Weinberg, your mother called.
971
00:48:34,548 --> 00:48:36,258
She says she misses you.
972
00:48:36,383 --> 00:48:40,596
She's shipping you more of that
peach iced tea that you like.
973
00:48:40,721 --> 00:48:41,847
Is it diet?
974
00:48:41,972 --> 00:48:44,668
Guys, gather 'round.
We got a forecast for rain today,
975
00:48:44,793 --> 00:48:46,435
so we're not taking any chances.
976
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:49,396
We're gonna go inside
and watch a movie, all right?
977
00:48:49,521 --> 00:48:52,068
It's a movie about
a different kind of camp.
978
00:48:53,525 --> 00:48:55,737
About a concentration camp.
979
00:48:55,862 --> 00:48:58,700
[Moaning] Oh, yeah.
980
00:48:58,825 --> 00:49:00,825
[Howard moans mockingly]
981
00:49:02,954 --> 00:49:04,704
- Boom!
- [Howard chuckles]
982
00:49:04,829 --> 00:49:08,374
Dude, tell me, was it like a, uh...
a self-pleasuring,
983
00:49:08,499 --> 00:49:10,710
- really romantic kind of stroke?
- Okay, like...
984
00:49:10,835 --> 00:49:13,555
Or are we talking more like a self-hatred,
"I hate myself" kind of...
985
00:49:13,587 --> 00:49:16,548
- [Ez grunts]
- Okay, just give it... Just shut up, man.
986
00:49:16,673 --> 00:49:19,313
No, but seriously, dude,
what prompted you to just start jerking it
987
00:49:19,370 --> 00:49:21,096
- on her bed?
- [Jake exhales]
988
00:49:21,221 --> 00:49:23,932
That's my question.
I mean, is it, like, a, you know...
989
00:49:24,057 --> 00:49:27,020
- Just shut up, man. Seriously.
- I'm just curious!
990
00:49:27,145 --> 00:49:28,936
All right,
let's have a reverent environment.
991
00:49:29,061 --> 00:49:30,396
- Let's get in there.
- Whoo!
992
00:49:30,521 --> 00:49:33,832
No movie for you today, Boba Fap.
Gotta clean up.
993
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:36,695
[He exhales]
994
00:49:36,820 --> 00:49:38,112
Good luck.
995
00:49:38,237 --> 00:49:40,115
[Indistinct chatter]
996
00:49:52,543 --> 00:49:55,671
Hey, is this...
is this pillow sitting here?
997
00:49:55,796 --> 00:49:57,926
No. Go ahead.
998
00:50:01,057 --> 00:50:02,777
[Ez exhales]
999
00:50:07,225 --> 00:50:09,435
Hey, I'm sorry
about that whole Jake thing.
1000
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,478
I mean, that's really disgusting,
1001
00:50:11,603 --> 00:50:14,163
and, like, you should never have to deal
with anything like that.
1002
00:50:15,024 --> 00:50:16,900
I mean, me, personally,
and this is just me,
1003
00:50:17,025 --> 00:50:20,739
but I would ask permission
before masturbating in your bed.
1004
00:50:20,864 --> 00:50:23,157
But then again, I'm not like other guys.
1005
00:50:23,282 --> 00:50:25,425
- [Ez chuckles]
- Yeah.
1006
00:50:26,705 --> 00:50:28,955
No, but seriously.
1007
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:33,645
I mean, you know, it's weird, like,
everybody here thinks, uh...
1008
00:50:33,770 --> 00:50:35,591
I'm sort of a dick.
1009
00:50:36,670 --> 00:50:39,132
And, like, I'm really not.
1010
00:50:39,257 --> 00:50:42,593
And I want you to know that
if you ever want to talk about anything,
1011
00:50:42,718 --> 00:50:44,616
like, about what happened
or just about anything in general,
1012
00:50:44,636 --> 00:50:46,956
like, I'm here for you,
and I really want you to know that.
1013
00:50:49,752 --> 00:50:51,165
I can never tell if you're being serious.
1014
00:50:51,185 --> 00:50:52,791
- Like...
- I mean it, I mean it, I promise.
1015
00:50:52,811 --> 00:50:55,355
I really do. Anything.
1016
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:57,622
All right. Yeah, thanks.
1017
00:51:02,363 --> 00:51:04,334
If I get scared...
1018
00:51:04,459 --> 00:51:05,955
will you hold me?
1019
00:51:08,076 --> 00:51:10,325
Yeah, sure.
1020
00:51:27,203 --> 00:51:28,334
[Ivan exhales]
1021
00:51:28,459 --> 00:51:30,599
Oh, those are cool. What are those?
1022
00:51:30,724 --> 00:51:32,601
- What's that one?
- Just rings.
1023
00:51:32,726 --> 00:51:34,811
- Does it fit me?
- Does it fit you?
1024
00:51:34,936 --> 00:51:36,942
- Try it. Let me try it on.
- Shh!
1025
00:51:37,067 --> 00:51:38,563
[Whispering] Be quiet.
1026
00:51:39,608 --> 00:51:41,625
- Just ignore her.
- [Maya chuckles]
1027
00:51:41,750 --> 00:51:43,259
- Yeah, it fits you.
- It looks good, right?
1028
00:51:43,279 --> 00:51:44,864
- Mm-hm.
- What about from this angle?
1029
00:51:44,989 --> 00:51:46,698
Mm-hm.
Even better from this angle.
1030
00:51:46,823 --> 00:51:47,891
- It looks good, right?
- Yeah.
1031
00:51:47,911 --> 00:51:50,708
- Looks better on you, though.
- Thanks.
1032
00:51:54,751 --> 00:51:56,912
[Whispering] You wanna get outta here?
1033
00:51:59,337 --> 00:52:00,754
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah?
1034
00:52:00,879 --> 00:52:02,589
- Yeah.
- I'll go first.
1035
00:52:02,714 --> 00:52:04,159
Okay.
1036
00:52:11,662 --> 00:52:14,606
[Man shouts in German on screen,
Ivan gasps]
1037
00:52:16,461 --> 00:52:18,522
[Mike chuckles]
1038
00:52:18,647 --> 00:52:20,277
- [Ivan breathes shakily]
- Yeah.
1039
00:52:20,402 --> 00:52:22,402
[Film continues playing]
1040
00:52:31,159 --> 00:52:33,246
[Mike chuckles softly]
1041
00:52:33,371 --> 00:52:35,751
- Nice jugs, bro.
- [He laughs, wheezes]
1042
00:52:35,876 --> 00:52:38,834
[Jugs clatter, bag rustles]
1043
00:52:38,959 --> 00:52:41,670
Hey, when you're done with that,
1044
00:52:41,795 --> 00:52:43,969
you gotta check all these bags
for Ivan's retainer.
1045
00:52:46,970 --> 00:52:51,680
- [Maya] What is this place?
- This is my private honeymoon suite.
1046
00:52:51,805 --> 00:52:54,060
- Mm-hm.
- Just for you.
1047
00:52:54,185 --> 00:52:56,741
[Maya chuckles, they kiss]
1048
00:52:59,860 --> 00:53:01,860
[Ez moans softly]
1049
00:53:06,027 --> 00:53:08,555
- [Ex] Oh, God.
- [Maya chuckles softly]
1050
00:53:13,244 --> 00:53:15,379
Definitely done this before.
1051
00:53:17,331 --> 00:53:18,721
Yeah.
1052
00:53:20,500 --> 00:53:22,669
We're doing more?
1053
00:53:22,794 --> 00:53:24,176
Mm-hm.
1054
00:53:33,578 --> 00:53:35,111
[Crinkling]
1055
00:53:36,269 --> 00:53:38,269
[Upbeat music]
1056
00:53:42,651 --> 00:53:44,858
[Indistinct chatter]
1057
00:53:44,983 --> 00:53:46,610
[Chair scrapes floor, rattles]
1058
00:53:46,735 --> 00:53:49,780
- Ez. Come on, move on, let me sit.
- [Music subsides]
1059
00:53:49,905 --> 00:53:50,992
[Maya] Ez!
1060
00:54:05,045 --> 00:54:06,174
What the hell?
1061
00:54:17,182 --> 00:54:19,267
Maya! Maya, wait up!
1062
00:54:19,392 --> 00:54:22,649
You totally missed it! Lily was
feeding squirrels outside the cabin
1063
00:54:22,774 --> 00:54:24,753
and one got in,
and Ilana was totally losing her shit.
1064
00:54:24,773 --> 00:54:26,942
Like, she's Purell-ing everything.
1065
00:54:27,067 --> 00:54:28,332
Hey!
1066
00:54:30,445 --> 00:54:32,492
Hey, what's wrong?
1067
00:54:38,119 --> 00:54:40,375
You... You were right about Ez.
1068
00:54:41,844 --> 00:54:45,128
He's just like everybody else. He just
wants something to... to brag about.
1069
00:54:45,253 --> 00:54:47,587
He's not gonna say shit,
because, I swear to God,
1070
00:54:47,712 --> 00:54:50,465
I'm gonna rip his forked tongue
out of his head with my bare hands.
1071
00:54:50,590 --> 00:54:52,135
- I swear to God.
- No, don't.
1072
00:54:52,260 --> 00:54:54,824
Please. If... If you say something,
it'll just make it worse.
1073
00:55:00,624 --> 00:55:01,727
[Angela exhales]
1074
00:55:01,852 --> 00:55:04,475
Just don't let some shithead guy
get to you.
1075
00:55:07,065 --> 00:55:08,448
'Cause you're seriously...
1076
00:55:09,542 --> 00:55:10,694
[Stirring music]
1077
00:55:10,819 --> 00:55:15,073
..you're seriously one of the coolest,
most real people I have ever met at camp.
1078
00:55:16,568 --> 00:55:20,115
Or, like... ever.
1079
00:55:21,917 --> 00:55:23,578
You, too.
1080
00:55:25,083 --> 00:55:27,544
- No, no.
- Yeah.
1081
00:55:27,669 --> 00:55:29,755
Uh, you have Ebola now.
1082
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:32,135
[Angela coughs, Maya laughs]
1083
00:55:33,258 --> 00:55:35,802
Are you sure I can't rough him up,
just a little?
1084
00:55:35,927 --> 00:55:39,042
- You know, swift snake-bite to the penis?
- [Maya laughs]
1085
00:55:39,167 --> 00:55:41,167
[Indistinct chatter]
1086
00:55:51,151 --> 00:55:52,465
- Ooh!
- Shouldn't you be at, like,
1087
00:55:52,485 --> 00:55:55,447
- kickball or something?
- Shouldn't you be with Sarah?
1088
00:55:55,572 --> 00:55:56,990
Oh, shut up.
1089
00:55:57,115 --> 00:55:59,659
I don't think I've ever
seen you guys not together.
1090
00:55:59,784 --> 00:56:01,870
Well, I don't think
I've ever seen you alone.
1091
00:56:01,995 --> 00:56:04,623
You're always with your dumb friends.
Where are they?
1092
00:56:04,748 --> 00:56:06,458
Kickball.
1093
00:56:06,583 --> 00:56:09,530
So, I was thinking that...
1094
00:56:09,655 --> 00:56:11,838
we should hang out again,
like we did last summer.
1095
00:56:11,963 --> 00:56:15,134
And why would you think that?
1096
00:56:15,259 --> 00:56:18,455
Because I saw the way that you were
looking at me the other night.
1097
00:56:18,580 --> 00:56:20,334
- [Ilana snorts]
- [Ez] Oh, yeah.
1098
00:56:20,459 --> 00:56:23,395
- Don't make me feel like a freak.
- Aren't you with Maya?
1099
00:56:24,434 --> 00:56:26,185
Uh, no. It's finished.
1100
00:56:27,438 --> 00:56:28,980
So, you were with her?
1101
00:56:29,105 --> 00:56:32,315
Yeah, but it... it didn't work out.
1102
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:36,369
So, what do you say, wanna get outta here?
1103
00:56:42,330 --> 00:56:44,173
Sure.
1104
00:56:50,630 --> 00:56:52,921
[Howard] Hey. I was reading,
and, uh, did you know
1105
00:56:53,046 --> 00:56:54,923
when they were doing
an autopsy of the aliens,
1106
00:56:55,048 --> 00:56:56,905
they found, like,
umbilical cords, which means that...
1107
00:56:56,925 --> 00:56:58,805
Why do you hang out with Ez?
1108
00:57:00,095 --> 00:57:01,347
Come on, can we not?
1109
00:57:01,472 --> 00:57:04,099
We already got into this, just...
I read the book,
1110
00:57:04,224 --> 00:57:07,395
- let's sit down and talk about it.
- What's wrong with you?
1111
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:10,021
I don't know what to say.
He's a weird guy,
1112
00:57:10,146 --> 00:57:11,524
he does weird things to us,
1113
00:57:11,649 --> 00:57:13,422
he treats us like shit,
he takes pictures of the girls,
1114
00:57:13,442 --> 00:57:15,735
he hangs out with...
with Hulk, like, I don't know what...
1115
00:57:15,860 --> 00:57:17,365
Pictures of what?!
1116
00:57:21,617 --> 00:57:23,243
Angie, come on.
1117
00:57:23,368 --> 00:57:24,873
[Running footsteps recede]
1118
00:57:24,998 --> 00:57:27,000
Angie, come on!
1119
00:57:30,375 --> 00:57:32,625
[Ez] Yo, Jake. Move.
1120
00:57:34,671 --> 00:57:37,034
I peaced out of the movie
to get some R-rated footage.
1121
00:57:37,159 --> 00:57:38,476
Check it.
1122
00:57:39,677 --> 00:57:41,419
- Oh, man.
- [He exhales]
1123
00:57:46,434 --> 00:57:47,475
Hm?
1124
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:50,774
- Is that Maya?
- Yeah, that's Maya.
1125
00:57:52,008 --> 00:57:53,767
- Okay, look, I don't wanna see that.
- Whoa, whoa, dude.
1126
00:57:53,787 --> 00:57:56,131
- Why are you showing me that? Seriously?
- [Ez] I don't know, I thought...
1127
00:57:56,151 --> 00:57:57,300
- Why would I wanna see that?
- I thought you'd like that.
1128
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:58,800
Why would I wanna see that?
Dude, seriously?
1129
00:57:58,820 --> 00:58:01,390
Are you kidding me?
Look, I'm taking a shower.
1130
00:58:01,515 --> 00:58:03,054
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm taking a shower.
1131
00:58:03,074 --> 00:58:05,160
- No, I called it, okay?
- [Ez] Oh, you called it?
1132
00:58:05,285 --> 00:58:07,662
Get off me, man! Really, dude?
1133
00:58:07,787 --> 00:58:10,335
[Door closes, rattles]
1134
00:58:11,750 --> 00:58:14,252
Now, stand there in your filth, asshole!
1135
00:58:14,377 --> 00:58:16,715
- I called it.
- [Ez] Yeah?
1136
00:58:19,215 --> 00:58:20,967
No, no, no.
You're right, you're right.
1137
00:58:21,092 --> 00:58:22,969
You, uh... You called it.
1138
00:58:23,094 --> 00:58:25,555
- [Shoe clatters]
- Dude, really?
1139
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:29,225
- No, no, no. You called it, buddy.
- Come on, dude!
1140
00:58:29,350 --> 00:58:30,438
Screw you.
1141
00:58:33,897 --> 00:58:35,305
[Ez] Yeah, you like that, first shower?
1142
00:58:35,325 --> 00:58:36,758
- What the hell, man?
- [Ez] First shower.
1143
00:58:36,778 --> 00:58:38,778
- [Jake] Really, Ez?!
- [Ez] Yeah.
1144
00:58:40,079 --> 00:58:42,079
[Clamouring]
1145
00:58:47,205 --> 00:58:49,288
Stop, stop.
Chill, all right, chill.
1146
00:58:49,413 --> 00:58:51,247
Asshole!
1147
00:58:55,085 --> 00:58:56,665
[He exhales]
1148
00:58:59,926 --> 00:59:02,269
[Indistinct chatter, gentle music]
1149
00:59:05,470 --> 00:59:07,292
[Angela] Guys, this way, come on.
1150
00:59:11,202 --> 00:59:12,332
All right, everybody, gather around.
1151
00:59:12,352 --> 00:59:15,868
Angela, why aren't we in our bunks?
It's... It's almost curfew.
1152
00:59:15,993 --> 00:59:18,425
- 'Cause it's not safe there.
- Not safe?
1153
00:59:18,550 --> 00:59:20,486
Wait, guys...
1154
00:59:20,611 --> 00:59:22,988
are we gonna choreograph
the Beyoncé Formation Tour dance?
1155
00:59:23,113 --> 00:59:26,825
- 'Cause I am so down.
- We should. I learned all the moves.
1156
00:59:26,950 --> 00:59:29,935
But like, obviously I'd be Beyoncé,
you'd be, like, Michelle or something.
1157
00:59:30,060 --> 00:59:31,371
Right.
1158
00:59:31,496 --> 00:59:34,020
- All right, this is serious.
- Oh, my God, did Phish break up again?
1159
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:37,295
- Trey just isn't as good solo.
- No, Lily, no.
1160
00:59:37,420 --> 00:59:39,672
All right, there...
there's a predator amongst us.
1161
00:59:39,797 --> 00:59:41,798
Oh, Angela,
how many times do we have to tell you,
1162
00:59:41,923 --> 00:59:45,051
- there's no aliens out here.
- This is about Ez.
1163
00:59:45,176 --> 00:59:48,514
He's taking pictures of... of us.
1164
00:59:48,639 --> 00:59:51,224
Wait... what do you mean?
1165
00:59:51,349 --> 00:59:52,755
Doing what?
1166
00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:56,161
[Jane] Curfew in five minutes, wrap it up!
1167
00:59:57,188 --> 01:00:00,112
I don't know, and we won't know
until we get our hands on that phone.
1168
01:00:00,237 --> 01:00:04,154
- How do you know this to be factual?
- Well, I have a reliable source.
1169
01:00:04,279 --> 01:00:06,451
- Is it your boyfriend?
- It doesn't matter, all right?
1170
01:00:06,576 --> 01:00:07,994
What matters is we get that phone.
1171
01:00:08,119 --> 01:00:11,411
Oh, my God.
Does he have pictures of us, like, naked?
1172
01:00:11,536 --> 01:00:14,670
Yeah, that happened to my cousin one time.
There was photos of her online everywhere.
1173
01:00:14,690 --> 01:00:16,351
I mean, it basically ruined her life.
1174
01:00:16,476 --> 01:00:18,877
She got rejected from Princeton.
She got so depressed.
1175
01:00:19,002 --> 01:00:21,445
You guys,
I cannot be rejected from Princeton!
1176
01:00:21,570 --> 01:00:24,215
- Me neither.
- Keep it down.
1177
01:00:24,340 --> 01:00:27,302
Sarah, you're not smart
enough to get into Princeton, okay?
1178
01:00:27,427 --> 01:00:30,472
You're probably gonna have to apply
to Vassar. Even then, it's a long shot.
1179
01:00:30,597 --> 01:00:33,975
Who died and made you
my guidance counsellor?
1180
01:00:35,518 --> 01:00:38,104
That's why you don't hang out with Ez.
1181
01:00:38,229 --> 01:00:40,273
Yeah, and if those videos get out,
1182
01:00:40,398 --> 01:00:42,158
you guys better hope
that Stanford Admissions
1183
01:00:42,259 --> 01:00:44,903
doesn't know how to use Google.
1184
01:00:45,028 --> 01:00:47,531
Of course they know
how to use Google, Sarah.
1185
01:00:47,656 --> 01:00:49,410
Gmail was, like, tested on their campus.
1186
01:00:49,535 --> 01:00:51,347
That was the entire premise
of the joke, Ilana.
1187
01:00:51,367 --> 01:00:54,329
Okay, that... Now is not the time.
1188
01:00:54,454 --> 01:00:56,654
We should cover our windows up
with something, 'cause...
1189
01:00:56,692 --> 01:00:58,354
- [She exhales]
- ..he may still be out there.
1190
01:00:58,374 --> 01:00:59,959
- Yeah.
- [Sarah] Okay.
1191
01:01:00,084 --> 01:01:01,464
That's a good idea.
1192
01:01:02,837 --> 01:01:06,255
Hey, you know,
Vassar is still a really good school.
1193
01:01:07,759 --> 01:01:09,511
Thanks, Maya.
1194
01:01:09,636 --> 01:01:12,175
[Birdsong]
1195
01:01:17,101 --> 01:01:18,978
[Footsteps]
1196
01:01:19,103 --> 01:01:20,400
Hey.
1197
01:01:22,315 --> 01:01:24,631
Did you take pictures of girls
with your phone?
1198
01:01:28,488 --> 01:01:31,617
Did you take pictures of girls
with your cellphone?
1199
01:01:31,742 --> 01:01:32,951
What phone?
1200
01:01:33,076 --> 01:01:34,573
What the hell, man?
1201
01:01:34,698 --> 01:01:37,968
All the counsellors know about it.
They're coming here for it. Hand it over.
1202
01:01:40,668 --> 01:01:45,171
What... What about, like... What about
the Polaroid stuff you told us about?
1203
01:01:45,296 --> 01:01:47,070
It was supposed to be fun, right?
You told us...
1204
01:01:47,090 --> 01:01:50,385
Yeah! You're not supposed to
listen to what I'm saying.
1205
01:01:50,510 --> 01:01:52,828
- [Ez] Why not?
- Because it's bullshit.
1206
01:01:52,953 --> 01:01:55,766
- Gimme the phone! Just do it.
- I don't know. Why... Why should I?
1207
01:01:55,891 --> 01:01:58,476
Why? 'Cause the counsellors
are gonna be here in two minutes,
1208
01:01:58,601 --> 01:02:00,083
we're all gonna get kicked outta here.
1209
01:02:00,103 --> 01:02:02,063
So, give me the phone now.
Believe me.
1210
01:02:02,188 --> 01:02:05,362
- What, are you gonna tell on me?
- Dude, I got your back.
1211
01:02:11,990 --> 01:02:12,990
Dummies.
1212
01:02:13,078 --> 01:02:15,078
[Door opens, shuts]
1213
01:02:20,248 --> 01:02:21,958
Was it you, Jake?
1214
01:02:22,083 --> 01:02:24,613
- Hm?
- No.
1215
01:02:24,738 --> 01:02:27,673
- You little snitch.
- [Jake] It wasn't me.
1216
01:02:27,798 --> 01:02:30,383
Huh. What about you?
1217
01:02:30,508 --> 01:02:34,304
Your freak girlfriend, Angela, huh?
She tell on me?
1218
01:02:34,429 --> 01:02:36,364
She's not a freak.
1219
01:02:37,432 --> 01:02:40,435
Oh, okay. But she is...
she is your girlfriend.
1220
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:43,108
Yeah, she's my girlfriend.
1221
01:02:44,397 --> 01:02:47,235
That's sad, man. That's pathetic.
1222
01:02:48,611 --> 01:02:51,739
No, no, no.
I'm disappointed in you.
1223
01:02:51,864 --> 01:02:55,241
I don't... I don't care
if you're disappointed in me.
1224
01:02:55,366 --> 01:02:57,079
You're fucking crazy, dude.
1225
01:02:57,204 --> 01:02:59,663
You take pictures of girls
while they're changing.
1226
01:02:59,788 --> 01:03:02,878
- Don't call her the weirdo.
- Man, she's such a loser.
1227
01:03:13,555 --> 01:03:15,555
[He exhales]
1228
01:03:16,847 --> 01:03:18,351
Hey.
1229
01:03:25,313 --> 01:03:28,129
Look, I... I'm really sorry about
what happened in the bunk the other day.
1230
01:03:28,149 --> 01:03:30,549
Okay? That was super messed-up,
and I'm really, really sorry.
1231
01:03:31,527 --> 01:03:33,007
Just stop.
1232
01:03:33,132 --> 01:03:34,410
I'm sorry.
1233
01:03:34,535 --> 01:03:37,743
I really am, okay?
I know I should never do that.
1234
01:03:37,868 --> 01:03:41,022
That's not what I'm talking about.
That's not what I'm mad about, okay?
1235
01:03:43,289 --> 01:03:45,918
Oh, my gosh. Did they tell you
that my dad's not a dentist?
1236
01:03:46,043 --> 01:03:48,127
I'm sorry I lied.
He's a hygienist, okay?
1237
01:03:48,252 --> 01:03:51,005
- I will never lie again.
- Could you just stop with the jokes?
1238
01:03:51,130 --> 01:03:52,425
Okay, it's not funny.
1239
01:03:54,134 --> 01:03:55,900
What are you mad about, then?
1240
01:03:58,638 --> 01:04:00,415
Please?
1241
01:04:02,976 --> 01:04:04,727
You knew about Ez.
1242
01:04:04,852 --> 01:04:07,359
W-What about Ez?
1243
01:04:08,439 --> 01:04:10,505
Hey, Maya, what about Ez?
1244
01:04:11,526 --> 01:04:13,315
The photos.
1245
01:04:16,192 --> 01:04:18,576
Y-You knew about those?
1246
01:04:18,701 --> 01:04:20,933
Yeah, and so did you,
and you didn't do anything about it.
1247
01:04:20,953 --> 01:04:22,870
I know. Look...
1248
01:04:22,995 --> 01:04:25,895
Maya, I totally didn't know about those
until just a little while ago.
1249
01:04:26,020 --> 01:04:27,147
All right? I was not in on it.
1250
01:04:27,167 --> 01:04:30,149
Right, but you should've... you should've
just said something as soon as you knew.
1251
01:04:30,169 --> 01:04:31,633
You should have told me.
1252
01:04:33,757 --> 01:04:35,848
Look, I know I should have.
1253
01:04:38,971 --> 01:04:40,430
Maya, please, believe me.
1254
01:04:40,555 --> 01:04:43,308
Okay, I am not Ez. All right?
1255
01:04:43,433 --> 01:04:47,105
- I would never do that to you.
- That's what they all say.
1256
01:04:50,235 --> 01:04:52,010
[Trowel thuds]
1257
01:04:55,570 --> 01:04:59,365
All right, you check those two,
and I'll get Ez's bunk.
1258
01:04:59,490 --> 01:05:00,533
These two?
1259
01:05:00,658 --> 01:05:03,098
- Yeah, check those two. Get in there.
- All right, cool, man.
1260
01:05:04,328 --> 01:05:06,043
All right, that's good.
1261
01:05:09,500 --> 01:05:13,713
- Hey, are you banging Counsellor Jane?
- Dude, now's not the time.
1262
01:05:13,838 --> 01:05:15,633
Don't just stand there.
Go check the bunks.
1263
01:05:15,758 --> 01:05:17,300
I did. Uh...
1264
01:05:17,425 --> 01:05:19,887
I think it's already
up in the clouds, man.
1265
01:05:32,232 --> 01:05:33,984
What do you think it means?
1266
01:05:34,109 --> 01:05:38,750
I don't want to walk on myself,
especially if I'm wearing heavy boots.
1267
01:05:40,030 --> 01:05:41,785
Who cares, dude?
1268
01:05:43,451 --> 01:05:46,037
Maybe it means, like...
1269
01:05:47,624 --> 01:05:49,624
..you have to guide yourself.
1270
01:05:51,004 --> 01:05:52,452
You...
1271
01:05:52,577 --> 01:05:54,549
have to control your own life.
1272
01:05:54,674 --> 01:05:56,674
[Uplifting music]
1273
01:06:01,804 --> 01:06:03,722
Hey, come on.
1274
01:06:03,847 --> 01:06:07,020
Hey, wait up. Jake?!
1275
01:06:07,145 --> 01:06:09,982
- [Music subsides]
- Uh! Oh, I'm gonna trip.
1276
01:06:11,023 --> 01:06:14,357
[Randy, on PA] Campers, let's take
a moment and reflect on today's proverb.
1277
01:06:14,482 --> 01:06:18,281
"In a place where there are no men,
strive to be a man."
1278
01:06:18,406 --> 01:06:20,010
[Jason] And that goes for the women, too.
1279
01:06:20,030 --> 01:06:22,532
It's a confusing time
to be alive right now.
1280
01:06:22,657 --> 01:06:26,120
[Randy] And on top of that,
it's a confusing time to be a teenager.
1281
01:06:26,245 --> 01:06:28,830
[Jason] Ugh. Don't get me started,
Rabbi Randy.
1282
01:06:28,955 --> 01:06:34,567
Remember to stand up and be a man,
1283
01:06:34,692 --> 01:06:37,169
even if you are a woman.
1284
01:06:38,215 --> 01:06:40,092
What are we doing?
1285
01:06:40,217 --> 01:06:41,513
Shh.
1286
01:06:41,638 --> 01:06:43,784
[Tense music]
1287
01:07:05,242 --> 01:07:06,824
[Whispering] It's empty.
1288
01:07:07,953 --> 01:07:10,819
- Dude, come on.
- But we're breaking the rules.
1289
01:07:16,645 --> 01:07:18,645
[He exhales]
1290
01:07:23,638 --> 01:07:26,203
[Music concludes,
hurried footsteps approach]
1291
01:07:29,141 --> 01:07:30,683
What's up?
1292
01:07:30,808 --> 01:07:32,602
I'm sick of this asshole friend of yours.
1293
01:07:32,727 --> 01:07:34,687
Holy shit! Can you calm... Stop!
1294
01:07:34,812 --> 01:07:36,730
- What is your problem?
- Get down here!
1295
01:07:36,855 --> 01:07:40,530
- Oh, my God. Can you relax? Please.
- He's a piece of shit...
1296
01:07:40,655 --> 01:07:42,009
- He made one mistake.
- ..and you know it!
1297
01:07:42,029 --> 01:07:43,909
A mistake? Are you serious?
1298
01:07:44,034 --> 01:07:47,034
He's not that bad. You're blowing
this up way out of proportion.
1299
01:07:47,159 --> 01:07:49,452
Stop defending him.
You both disgust me.
1300
01:07:49,577 --> 01:07:51,204
You're such a coward.
You're a follower!
1301
01:07:51,329 --> 01:07:52,663
- Fuck you!
- Stop!
1302
01:07:52,788 --> 01:07:53,995
[Thud]
1303
01:07:55,334 --> 01:07:57,255
[Howard] Oh, my God.
1304
01:07:57,380 --> 01:07:59,380
[Howard breathes shakily]
1305
01:08:02,673 --> 01:08:05,092
Let me see it. Come on, let me see.
1306
01:08:05,217 --> 01:08:07,386
Angie... Oh, my God.
1307
01:08:07,511 --> 01:08:08,600
Fuck.
1308
01:08:11,535 --> 01:08:12,893
[Rattling]
1309
01:08:13,018 --> 01:08:15,895
[Ivan] Hey, Jake.
Seriously, what are we doing here?
1310
01:08:16,020 --> 01:08:17,943
[Jake] Dude, we have to find Ez's phone.
1311
01:08:19,774 --> 01:08:21,943
Huh. Maybe Hulk is the Nazi.
1312
01:08:22,068 --> 01:08:24,195
Dude, there are no Nazis.
1313
01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:25,947
[Tense music]
1314
01:08:26,072 --> 01:08:28,787
[Jake] Look, will you
come and help me with this?!
1315
01:08:36,201 --> 01:08:37,918
[Vehicle approaches]
1316
01:08:38,043 --> 01:08:40,044
- Run!
- I'm a terrible runner!
1317
01:08:40,169 --> 01:08:42,426
[Frantic percussive music]
1318
01:08:42,551 --> 01:08:44,551
[Music continues, Hulk yells]
1319
01:08:50,888 --> 01:08:53,038
Okay, okay, all right.
Yeah, okay, all right, all right.
1320
01:08:53,058 --> 01:08:56,103
You're under arrest, Jake.
You have the right to remain silent.
1321
01:08:56,228 --> 01:08:58,028
Anything you do or say
can be held against you
1322
01:08:58,145 --> 01:09:00,690
in the court of the Hulkster, understood?
1323
01:09:00,815 --> 01:09:02,946
- Understood?!
- [Jake] Understood.
1324
01:09:06,113 --> 01:09:08,531
[Hulk] You messed with
the wrong guy today, bro-bro.
1325
01:09:08,656 --> 01:09:10,078
Wrong guy.
1326
01:09:10,203 --> 01:09:12,203
[Music stops, Ivan pants]
1327
01:09:13,440 --> 01:09:15,880
[Disembodied voice speaks in German;
Heavy marching footsteps]
1328
01:09:15,917 --> 01:09:17,146
Ah!
1329
01:09:18,290 --> 01:09:21,419
- [Footsteps subside]
- Ivan, calm down and come here.
1330
01:09:21,544 --> 01:09:23,250
It's me...
1331
01:09:23,375 --> 01:09:24,839
Rabbi Randy.
1332
01:09:24,964 --> 01:09:28,972
And me, Rabbi Jason Shalowitz.
1333
01:09:29,097 --> 01:09:30,859
You're all right, son.
1334
01:09:32,138 --> 01:09:33,225
You guys are Nazis?
1335
01:09:34,807 --> 01:09:36,601
[Mike] It's your last year of camp, guys.
1336
01:09:36,726 --> 01:09:40,813
We thought we could treat you like adults,
but you're acting like a bunch of babies.
1337
01:09:40,938 --> 01:09:43,566
Okay, well, Ez is taking photos
and Hulk is protecting him.
1338
01:09:43,691 --> 01:09:46,611
- No, I'm not, you little dick-muncher.
- Get your dirty hands outta here.
1339
01:09:46,736 --> 01:09:47,862
[Jake exhales]
1340
01:09:47,987 --> 01:09:51,866
Who are you gonna believe, Mike?
Me or Lord Fondle-Nuts over here?
1341
01:09:51,991 --> 01:09:54,057
Oh, really?
Look, he's hiding Ez's phone in his cabin.
1342
01:09:54,077 --> 01:09:57,747
You know what? I've had enough.
1343
01:09:57,872 --> 01:10:01,709
I am so ashamed of all of you.
1344
01:10:01,834 --> 01:10:04,296
I am gonna call your parents,
and until then,
1345
01:10:04,421 --> 01:10:06,756
you're gonna sit here
and think about what you did.
1346
01:10:06,881 --> 01:10:09,884
- Mikayla?
- My name is Ruth. I'm your boss.
1347
01:10:10,009 --> 01:10:11,814
With all due respect,
1348
01:10:11,939 --> 01:10:15,056
my parents died
in a murder-suicide 15 years ago.
1349
01:10:15,181 --> 01:10:18,194
So, try as you may,
1350
01:10:18,319 --> 01:10:20,590
they will be unavailable for phone calls.
1351
01:10:21,816 --> 01:10:23,816
[Toilet flushes]
1352
01:10:25,080 --> 01:10:28,212
[Ilana] Did you hear Jake got in trouble
for trying to sneak into Hulk's cabin?
1353
01:10:29,945 --> 01:10:33,325
In the middle of the day?
He's so dumb.
1354
01:10:33,450 --> 01:10:36,952
I know. What do you think
he was looking for, anyways?
1355
01:10:37,077 --> 01:10:40,951
- Maybe beer, or porn to jerk off to.
- [Ilana chuckles]
1356
01:10:42,375 --> 01:10:44,962
Oh, maybe it was the phone.
1357
01:10:45,087 --> 01:10:46,749
[Ilana] That doesn't really
sound like Jake, though.
1358
01:10:46,769 --> 01:10:48,005
I mean, that's pretty brave.
1359
01:10:48,130 --> 01:10:50,549
Yeah, but if they don't
find that phone soon,
1360
01:10:50,674 --> 01:10:52,760
we're gonna have to all,
like, change our names
1361
01:10:52,885 --> 01:10:55,392
- and move to France or something.
- Don't touch me.
1362
01:10:57,056 --> 01:10:59,392
You know, if we don't find that phone,
we're ruined.
1363
01:10:59,517 --> 01:11:02,425
Like, honestly, you, me, Maya...
1364
01:11:02,550 --> 01:11:03,550
Ouch.
1365
01:11:03,588 --> 01:11:05,923
[Sarah] You know, Maya,
when I first met her,
1366
01:11:06,048 --> 01:11:09,823
I didn't really like her, but now
I think she's actually pretty cool.
1367
01:11:09,948 --> 01:11:11,654
[Ilana] Yeah, she's pretty cool.
1368
01:11:11,779 --> 01:11:14,366
You know, us women,
we have to support each other.
1369
01:11:14,491 --> 01:11:16,722
Yep, we have to support each other.
1370
01:11:19,036 --> 01:11:20,785
I just said that.
1371
01:11:23,666 --> 01:11:25,714
Oh, my gosh, you did just say that.
1372
01:11:25,839 --> 01:11:27,839
Um... wow.
1373
01:11:29,461 --> 01:11:31,461
[Ilana exhales]
1374
01:11:36,846 --> 01:11:38,643
[Indistinct chatter]
1375
01:11:46,398 --> 01:11:47,898
It's fashion, it's comfortable,
1376
01:11:48,023 --> 01:11:49,775
it's easy,
you don't have to think about it.
1377
01:11:49,900 --> 01:11:53,321
The only downside is that when you go pee,
you have to take off your entire outfit.
1378
01:11:53,446 --> 01:11:57,871
Oh, honey,
I still have so much to teach you.
1379
01:11:57,996 --> 01:12:00,161
I'm just saying.
1380
01:12:00,286 --> 01:12:01,813
They're really...
They're mostly on sale...
1381
01:12:01,833 --> 01:12:03,722
[Plate clacks]
1382
01:12:07,214 --> 01:12:09,680
- [He chuckles]
- Come on, Ilana, move over.
1383
01:12:11,338 --> 01:12:13,045
Predators aren't welcome.
1384
01:12:18,512 --> 01:12:19,805
[Ez] Seriously?
1385
01:12:31,363 --> 01:12:33,363
[Uplifting music]
1386
01:12:45,491 --> 01:12:47,491
[Music concludes]
1387
01:12:49,919 --> 01:12:51,712
Ivan, you're not like the other kids.
1388
01:12:51,837 --> 01:12:55,925
- They need to be reminded.
- We started this to keep kids vigilant.
1389
01:12:56,050 --> 01:12:57,965
Not to scare.
1390
01:13:00,554 --> 01:13:02,975
Why was I the only one who saw you?
1391
01:13:04,767 --> 01:13:07,437
You were the only one who noticed.
1392
01:13:08,692 --> 01:13:10,778
[Car boot shuts;
Gentle music]
1393
01:13:19,740 --> 01:13:25,163
[Randy] We pray for the courage
to carry on in the face of disappointment.
1394
01:13:25,288 --> 01:13:29,834
♪ You come back
and the ghost is gone... ♪
1395
01:13:29,959 --> 01:13:33,421
[Jason] For the wisdom
to learn from adversity.
1396
01:13:33,546 --> 01:13:38,638
♪ Your memory's as sweet as candy, oh... ♪
1397
01:13:38,763 --> 01:13:42,304
[Randy] And the strength
to start over again.
1398
01:13:43,390 --> 01:13:48,361
♪ Whatever you did,
yeah, whatever you've done
1399
01:13:49,604 --> 01:13:52,898
♪ I guess I have to let it go... ♪
1400
01:13:53,023 --> 01:13:55,693
[Jason] To love again.
1401
01:13:55,818 --> 01:13:59,016
[Randy] Im yirtzeh Hashem. Bli ayin hara.
1402
01:13:59,141 --> 01:14:00,739
To hope again.
1403
01:14:00,864 --> 01:14:05,290
♪ You're the sun in the empty sky... ♪
1404
01:14:08,543 --> 01:14:13,880
♪ Your memory's as sweet as candy, oh
1405
01:14:19,550 --> 01:14:23,350
♪ I guess I have to let you go
1406
01:14:23,475 --> 01:14:27,683
♪ I guess I have to let you go
1407
01:14:27,808 --> 01:14:31,979
♪ I'm burning like the summer sun
1408
01:14:32,104 --> 01:14:37,155
♪ I burn like the summer sun... ♪
1409
01:14:37,280 --> 01:14:39,280
[Music continues]
1410
01:14:44,745 --> 01:14:48,871
Ivan, there was an old Hasidic rabbi
who once said something very, very simple
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but very, very profound.
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♪ You come back and the ghost is gone... ♪
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[Jason] He said,
"The entire world is a narrow bridge."
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♪ Your memory's sweet as candy, oh... ♪
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[Jason] But the important thing, Ivan,
the important thing...
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is never be afraid.
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[Music continues]
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[Upbeat music]
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[Music concludes]
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[Sprightly music]
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[Lively music]
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[Music concludes]
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[Laid-back music]
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[Music continues]
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[Music subsides gradually]
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Descriptive subtitles by Matchbox Cinesub110644
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