All language subtitles for Bernard.And.Doris.2007.WEB-DL.HBOGO.en

What is this?

- Cantaloupe, ma'am.
- It's ice cold.

I'm terribly sorry, ma'am.
I'll get you another.

And what will you do with this?

What will you do with this one?

I'm not sure, ma'am.

- Throw it out, ma'am?
- Did you pay for it?

- Just get out.
- Yes, Miss Duke.

- Don't come back.
- Ma'am?

You're fired.

- Now you're fired.
- Yes, ma'am.

Hello?

I have a 2:00 appointment.

The name is Lafferty.

Bernard. That's it there.

If they don't have figs,
well then just get apricot.

If they don't have apricots,
get whatever's in season.

If they don't have anything
in season...

go wherever it is in season.

I'll take that sherry now,
thank you very much.

There's enough dried up
things in this house...

without adding fruit
to the whole...

Get me my sherry.

Good evening, Miss Duke.
Ma'am?

Who the hell are you?

I'm here about the job,
from the agency.

Here, these are my references.

- Get me a sherry.
- Yes, ma'am.

Excuse me, ma'am,
there's something...

- New butler.
- Ma'am?

You don't leave until I tell you to.

Yes, ma'am.

You can go.

You. Come.

- Right there.
- Yes, Miss Duke.

- Just here?
- Yes.

- Will that be all, ma'am?
- Yes.

Wait, who the hell are you, anyway?

Lafferty.

I assume you have credentials?

Elizabeth Taylor, Peggy Lee...

What, you have a thing
for entertainers, Mr. Rafferty?

Lafferty.

Beg your pardon, Miss Duke,
it's Lafferty with an I.

It says that you haven't
worked for six months.

I had a wee health problem.

Drugs or alcohol?

- I assume it's under control?
- I assure it's all in the past now.

Right.

Well, Mr. Rafferty, I really
don't care what you do...

on your own time, just don't let me
catch you drinking my wine.

Yes, ma'am.
Thanks, Miss Duke.

I've seen this attitude before,
believe me.

She'll never know that these olives
had fur growing on them.

Let's just clean them off
and put them in her martini.

Well, here's the news.
Ladies and gentlemen...

from now on,
I am Miss Duke's eyes and ears.

I am the enforcer of standards.

And if this household
has not met those standards...

by the end of the week,
then I'll be making a few changes.

Do I make myself clear?

Right then,
let's get this place cleaned up.

Thank you.

Nancy?

- Not good.
- Yes, sir.

Come on, baby, get back here.

Ben, where are you?
I'm missing you.

Good morning, sir.

- Rafferty?
- Good morning, Miss Duke.

The new gardener,
what's his name?

His name is Patrick, ma'am.

- Is he married?
- I don't believe so.

- What's his sexual orientation?
- I'm afraid I don't know.

Well, have him wash
his hands and come up.

You haven't forgotten the appointment
at 1:00, have you, ma'am?

Pick something out for me to wear.

Of course, ma'am.

That would be Patrick first,
then the outfit.

Yes.

150,000 dollars to the Duke
University Primate Center.

300,000 dollars to the Foundation
for Southeast Asian Art and Culture.

- Fine.
- Right. Incidentally...

Vice President Bush wants to
honor you at his next fundraiser.

- I think you should consider it.
- That's sweet.

Just tell him my dance card is full.

- Thanks.
- I'll convey your regrets.

Tom, why don't you tell us
how her portfolio is doing?

I know how my portfolio
is doing, thank you.

I'm interested
in computer technology.

That seems hot, really hot.

So buy lntel, buy Microsoft,
maybe Apple?

I don't know, buy all three.

Come in.

Good morning, Miss Duke.
I have your breakfast.

Would you prefer it
in the bedroom or...

Just put it right there.

Is madam going somewhere?

She most certainly is.

May I pack you a bag?

Yes, you may.

Right, ma'am.

Will it be the Vuitton?

Smaller.

- How about this little one here?
- That's fine.

And you could put in...

three bed jackets,
three nightgowns, my gold slippers.

My smalls are right here.

And the Agatha Christie,
wherever that is.

- Might it be in the bedroom?
- I hope so.

Guess I'll go...

Here it is.

It's great, you have the complete
Miss Marple collection.

I love it.

A little help with this necklace.

- It's a beautiful piece.
- Yes, it is.

If I may be permitted, ma'am,
I just...

Yes?

That was a lovely performance.

- What are you talking about?
- At the board meeting.

Simply the flatness of the landscape.

It was extremely flat, yes.

Those men can't help it
if they live in a world of beige.

But you don't, do you?

- What's that, ma'am?
- Live in a world of beige.

Well, I live in
other people's worlds.

So if their world is beige,
then I suppose that...

my world is beige.

Why all of a sudden
the Deco coffee pot?

- Well, I...
- I prefer the Cristoff.

Well, it won't happen again, ma'am.

- I'm sorry.
- I'm sure.

Send the Aubusson back to Newport.

- It looks dreadful here.
- I will, ma'am.

Make sure they're
not drinking my booze.

And I want him gone
by the time I get back.

Right. Have a safe trip, ma'am.

Good day, sir.

Mr. Lafferty?

Mr. Lafferty?

- It's ours, we bought it.
- Sure, I know.

- Would you like some?
- No, thanks.

I'm good, thanks.

- It's good. It's from Argentina.
- Alright.

- Very good.
- Miss Duke, she like to drink.

- All the time.
- I'm sure she does.

Thanks.

- Is she okay?
- No.

Miss Duke?

Get me a damn drink,
will you, please?

Yes, ma'am.
Can I help you up?

God damn it.
Crooks, you know?

Said it was going to be
three days, maybe four tops.

- It's only a lousy nip and tuck.
- I wouldn't do that.

All of a sudden tonight she says
to me...

no, I think you should
stay another week.

- I think you should sit down.
- God.

Ma'am, I wouldn't do that.

It's not as if money is an issue,
she says.

Money has been an issue
my entire fucking life.

I think I should take a look at that.

She's one of those
Nurse Ratched types, you know?

The Nazi in the white sneakers.

You know what I did?

I just hit her,
right in the ear.

- Give me another drink.
- I think you should come upstairs.

No, just, I want another drink.

- Ma'am, I think you should rest.
- Just give me the goddamn bottle!

- For Christ's sakes.
- I think you should...

Will you get off of me?

That wasn't very nice, was it?

I'm sorry.

Rafferty, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
No, it's okay...

I just, you know,
sometimes I just...

- I lose control, you know?
- It's okay, Miss Duke.

Rafferty?

Ma'am?

My face really hurts.

I can see that.

- It really hurts.
- You should get some rest.

- I'm just going to take...
- No, I don't think you should...

Miss Duke,
I don't think you should...

Ma'am.

I don't think you should
be drinking with these, ma'am.

Would you please...

- Let's get you upstairs.
- I have an extra one.

- Do you want this?
- I'm good for now.

God, I should call the clinic
and tell them that I'm still alive.

You mean you didn't tell them
that you were leaving?

Well, not in so many words.
I mean, I left rather abruptly.

I think I should call them then.

Look, don't apologize
to anybody, understand?

Eva Braun,
she really deserves it.

And I'm not going back.

Yes, let's get you into bed now
and get some rest.

- Wait a minute, shoes.
- Okay.

There we go.

Allow me just to...

Just get your clothes
out of the way here.

It's a tragedy.
I'm telling you, Rafferty.

I've spent millions,
literally, millions.

Look at these suitcases
under my eyes, look at this.

Come here, look at this.
This is time catching up with me.

I can't see anything there, ma'am.

Your eyes,
are they blue or grey?

They're blue-grey, I think.

You should go to sleep.
Go to sleep, ma'am.

Are you going to be
warm enough there?

- Ma'am?
- Yeah, sit down right here.

I'll sit here and then
I can get you what you need.

No, come back here.
What are you doing?

Get your ass over here.
Sit down.

Ma'am, I...

I think you should have
some water here.

- Okay.
- Just take a wee sip there.

- That's it.
- That's water.

It is, ma'am.

Dehydrated otherwise.

Okay.

Ma'am.

Are you warm enough there, Miss Duke?

Yeah, I'm...

Still a little confusing.

What?

Let me just slip that out.

See? We have a wee temperature
of just over 99.

Just take these now.

- What is that?
- Antibiotics.

What I need now is the strongest
pain pill known to man.

Okay, but take these first.

I remember leaving the clinic.

I remember being in the car.

But you know,
it's like a jigsaw puzzle...

put together in my head.
And I remember taking a drink.

A drink or two,
plus a few painkillers.

Lafferty, did we fuck last night?

No, ma'am.

I don't know if you fitted the nurse
piece into your jigsaw puzzle.

Shit. I'm going to get sued again.

No, I called the clinic this morning.

I explained that you had
a bad reaction to the medication.

I told them that you
regretted the incident.

And I hope you don't mind,
but I took the liberty...

of sending the nurse some flowers
and a wee gift certificate.

For how much?

- 5,000 dollars.
- Jesus.

All concerned agreed that the matter
is now completely closed.

Bet she spends it all
on Nazi memorabilia.

That's good.
Well done.

Will that be all, Miss Duke?

Yeah.

But, Lafferty, your outfit...

Yes, ma'am?

Well, you look like
a goddamn undertaker.

I mean, you think you
could lighten up a little bit?

Of course. I'll do that.

Miss Duke?
Can I help you, ma'am?

Yes, you can start on that.
My babies have outgrown their pots...

and I'm going to repot them all.

Right you are.

- This one here, is it?
- This one.

Right here.
Take that out...

and then you'll cut it in half.

Take it out?

Here, let me help you.

- There. Okay, now try.
- Okay.

You loosened it up.

- There we go.
- That's it...

- And get your knife.
- All right.

And don't, here,
put it in the alcohol first.

Just one infected bulb
and they'll all go.

- That's it.
- In half?

Tough little creatures.

And then any of the bulbs
that don't have leaves...

you're going to get rid of.

Then you can fill it up and you can
clip off the excess dried roots.

You can see which ones
they are with this.

I worked in a flower nursery
some time ago for a while.

Let me say so, Miss Duke, you have
one hell of a collection of orchids.

Yes. This is my newest baby.

All the way from Brazil.
It doesn't look like much now...

but wait until you
see it in bloom.

You know, my daddy,
he loved orchids.

And when he died,
they put a mountain of them...

around his casket.

Must have been 25,000 dollars worth.

I still remember the way
that church smelled.

Going to need you to go to the bank
for me tomorrow and get some cash.

- Yes, ma'am.
- I'll call them in the morning.

What's your name?
I'll need to tell them.

- Lafferty.
- Your first name.

Bernard.

I'm going away for a while and
I've decided to take you with me.

- Ma'am?
- Yes, you.

Yes, ma'am.

Now cut it, use the knife.

Dip it in the alcohol first.

We'll take it when
I get back, all right, sweetie?

You told me that
the last time you went away.

- Did I say that, really?
- You said that, really.

I'm so bad.

- You really are.
- Did you go to the bank?

And you counted it?

Here you go.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

So you're getting ready
to leave town already?

- I am.
- So I was thinking...

Maybe...

Maybe I could hang out here
for a while...

- No...
- While you're gone.

- What do you mean, no?
- No. No way.

All these rooms?
Just sitting here empty?

The rooms will be fine.

I just hate to see this whole house
sitting here empty.

It's so sad. No.
Don't take it personally.

- I am taking it personally.
- Of course you are.

Whatever.

You're sulking now.

- Am I sulking?
- You're sulking.

- I'm not sulking.
- Yes you are.

Yes you are.
Come on, don't sulk.

- I'm not sulking.
- Don't be mad. It's nothing.

- I'm not sulking.
- Yes you are.

Make sure that these boxes
are secured, please.

Don't forget these.
Be careful with these.

Please lass, thank you.

How do you like living in
my world so far, Bernard?

I like it very much.

Who wouldn't?

Let me see your palm.

- You're right-handed.
- I am.

So this is what you're born with,
this is what you become.

You have a, an old soul
with a double heart line...

and all these little things coming
off are unhealthy relationships.

- Is that right?
- Am I right?

Is that an unhealthy relationship?

I don't know, is it?
I mean, I've had a few...

unhealthy relationships.

And this is a very unusual line.

See, I have that also.
That's your fate line.

That means that very extraordinary
things will cross your path...

and you have to be alert
or they'll just pass you by.

And...

Yeah, well,
what is your star sign?

It's never been my scene.

- Aries, is it?
- When's your birthday?

- 14th of April.
- 14th of April, that's Aries.

So you are an instigator,
you start things.

You're...

Well, you hit a wall,
you get right back up again.

And then hit the same wall again.

- Sounds familiar.
- And...

Really? So that does sound familiar?

I like to do embroidery.

Call Vincent and tell him
that I don't want him...

to exercise the dogs
until we get there.

Have him check the surf report.

You haven't lived until
you've surfed the tube in the bay.

You brought swim trunks,
I assume?

No, ma'am, I can't swim.

Well then, put that down.
Swimming lessons for Lafferty.

Ma'am, I don't think that
will be necessary.

No just,
I'm serious, write it down.

- Sure.
- Put it on the list.

"Memo to Staff.

Miss Duke and I shall remain
in Hawaii for another three months.

I shall be supervising the
renovation of the swimming pool...

the tennis courts and pergola.

In our absence,
see that all silver is polished...

and carefully sorted.

Miss Duke's personal tea service
needs special attention.

Memo to Staff.

We arrive at Falcon's Lair
on Tuesday...

and we expect to leave
for Sri Lanka the following week.

Miss Duke and I shall be
traveling through the Far East...

for the next six months."

Be careful...

Very gently get her
into the house.

Bernard?

- Would you like to join with us?
- No, thanks.

Bernard's a little wary
of new experiences.

It took me months to convince him
to pierce his ear.

Shall we have some lunch?

Are you comfortable there, Swami?

Okay.

Doris was given tons of money to
restore all these houses in Newport.

- She did a great job.
- Okay.

What I love about Newport...

Wait, how many houses
do you have?

Doesn't matter.
But what I love is the weather.

It's got rain and snow and rain
lashing against the rocks.

- Incredible storms.
- It rains twice a year.

Once for six months,
once for five months.

That's really good, Lafferty.
That is so funny.

Very good. Here,
have a little hit.

Little hit? Should I do that?

- Absolutely, you should.
- One big suck.

Getting high with the help.

How democratic.

- Get enough there?
- Thank you very much.

Thank you.

So, what were you doing
in Calcutta anyway?

You know, I really,
I didn't have the faintest idea...

until I met Swami.

He was in a cave for 25 years.

He was praying.
Praying 25 years.

- Praying.
- It's not true.

Yes. No.
The poor, the sick...

the bereaved, the dying,
they would come to him.

He would lay his hands
on them and pray...

And then one day
the monsoon comes...

and floods the cave.

So Swami gets up and he walks
all the way to Calcutta.

That's 2,000 miles or more.

Because he wants to visit
the Festival of Durga.

Where we are amongst
the 200,000 pilgrims that are there.

And what happens?
Coincidentally...

literally, we bump into Swami.

Literally bump into him
and the rest is...

well, destiny, I suppose.

We're going to start
a center in New Jersey.

Well, he didn't walk
to New Jersey. He flew.

Took the easy way out,
hey, Swami?

You know, when I was sleeping
sometimes outside...

and I watch all the sky's
beautiful stars.

Then I thought I told Bernard
and Doris that, you see...

you are sleeping
in the Five Star Hotel.

But I was sleeping
All Star Hotel.

It's a blessing.
A blessing.

To Swami and Doris.

And all the blessings
that come into our lives...

when we least expect them.

Cheers to that.

Swami, if I was drinking,
I'd be drinking to you.

Cheers, congrats.

- Look at this. Look.
- Are you all right, ma'am?

- We've got a problem.
- What is it?

Damn slugs, look at this.
Look...

If there's one
there's probably more, right?

Yeah, it looks like it, ma'am.

You're not going to eat my babies.

Miss Duke, apples, ma'am.
My mother swore by apples.

- Apples?
- Yeah, we grew spinach...

and potatoes in our yard.

We couldn't afford to lose them.
It was mostly all that we had to eat.

So my mother would put
down slices of apple...

to attract the slugs and
the caterpillars elsewhere.

And lead them away
from the vegetables.

- And that worked?
- It did, yeah.

If this works, I'm sending
your mother a check.

Well, that's very generous
of you, ma'am.

But she passed away
many years ago.

Lafferty, I know absolutely
nothing about you.

Maybe that's just as well, ma'am.

Do you think you should
be getting some rest?

- You have a long trip ahead of you.
- No, I'll be fine.

I can take care of this
while you're away.

No.

I had a child with my first marriage.

She only lived for 24 hours.

What do you think
the point of that is?

I'm terribly sorry to hear that.

I mean, supposedly
everything happens for a reason.

You know, part of the Book of Life
or the Great Mandala.

You know?
What do you think about that?

I...

It's whatever gets you
through the night.

I mean, I'd hardly
be the one to judge it.

So the snail and the orchids
and you and I?

You smell divine, by the way.
Is that Norell?

- It is.
- I gave you that, didn't I?

You did. You gave it to me
and I wear it every day.

I wouldn't be caught dead without it.

Well, that's part
of the plan, you see?

What about the apple?
Do you think this apple here has...

a part in the great plan?

Yeah. I mean,
events may seem random...

but there is a plan.

Unfortunately, it just may
not unfold quickly enough...

for us to really understand why
it's happening. You know what I mean?

Sure.

I knew this Irish lad
in Philadelphia.

His name was Freezer.
That's how cool he was.

And he had everything going for him.

He was handsome,
he was fun, he was warm-hearted.

We were up for the same job
at this chichi hotel...

the Bellevue in Stratford.

I knew he would get the job.
No one could resist Freezer...

when he turned on the charm.

Anyways, on the day
of the interviews...

he steps off the curb
and he breaks his foot.

And I get the job.

And that's how I get
to meet Miss Taylor.

She introduces me to Miss Lee.

- Then it's...
- lntroduces you...

- To you.
- To me.

Because you read it
on the resume.

So that was your path.
That was your journey, exactly.

- The Mandala, exactly.
- Mandala.

Jesus, smell this.

Incredible.

Very few of these guys actually
even have a scent. isn't that tragic?

- Yeah, they're beautiful.
- So sad.

Miss Duke, do you think
I should be packing...

the Persian outfits that
you mentioned for your trip?

I don't know.
What do you think?

I don't know. I've never performed
in a belly-dancing troupe.

It's not belly dancing,
it's dance oriental.

- That's Chinese, is it?
- No, look, it's the Earth...

and then the core and then out.

See? It's as if your entire being...

is concentrated,
every ounce of it right here.

- Right.
- You see?

- Sure.
- Right there, you understand?

It's like...

- Like that.
- Yeah.

Feel that?

- Go ahead, try it.
- No.

- I think it's more of a girl thing.
- No, it's the most fun...

you could ever have
without actually touching yourself.

- Go ahead.
- No, I couldn't.

- Come on.
- No.

- See, like this?
- Yeah.

Some men actually find it
very seductive.

I'm sure they do.
I mean, I...

I swing in the other direction.
If you catch my drift.

Catch? Yes, I catch it.

I caught it. I have it.

Well it's just that I...

I think it's mesmerizing.
But I'm...

How did I look just now?
I mean, tell me the truth.

I mean, did I look ridiculous?

- What do you mean?
- I mean, was it clumsy?

- Did I look clumsy?
- No...

I'll tell you what,
you looked happy.

Happy?

Yeah, just...

- Break a leg, Miss Duke.
- God forbid.

Miss Duke would like two men
on duty at any given time.

That's one inside the house
and one patrolling the grounds.

Also four dogs.

Nobody's to get in through
the front gate when she's away...

except the gardeners
and the pool guy.

They have been issued
with passes like this.

And if you set off the sprinkler
system with one of those...

you'll be destroying 30 million
dollars worth of art and antiques.

Thanks, gentlemen.

I thought you'd gone home.

I've been having a wee clear
out of my room.

You know what it's like.

- I'll take that out for you.
- That's okay.

- It's no big deal.
- It's fine, thanks anyway.

Thanks.

"Lafferty, change of plans.
I leave for London tomorrow.

Book the Connaught.
Make sure to tell Elton I'm coming.

Send over my Russian fox
and the new white sable pronto.

I rejoin the tour in Washington
on the 15th...

and I'm running
to Hawaii after that.

So make sure all the linens
are changed.

Tell the painters I want them
out of there by March 10th...

or I'm invoking the penalty clause.

In no way am I kidding.
Sincerely, Doris Duke.

P.S. Have my new jewelry appraised
and listed in the policy.

Sotheby's can do it.
I prefer that nice Kathy.

But if it has to be the other one,
so be it."

- Welcome back, Miss Duke.
- Thank you.

I am so glad to be back.

Are you growing your hair?

A bit, I am. Yeah.

Come here.

Here.

- Look.
- What?

Look.

- What do you think?
- I think it looks a bit puny.

Well, you've got to give it time.

- I like it.
- You do?

I hope that your tour went well?

The arts in America,
Lafferty, don't get me started.

You know, sometimes there
were more of us onstage...

than there were in the audience.

- I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am.
- It wasn't a total disaster.

- I made a little friend.
- You did?

A kid in the company.
Amazing dancer.

I thought he was gay.
And actually, so did he.

But you know,
we have to leave ourselves open...

to all the possibilities.

Indeed, it's true.

You know, you should
really wear more color...

to kind of lift your face.

Look at this, for instance.
Put this shirt...

Now what does that shirt say?
That shirt says...

look at me.

It certainly does.

You know, your shirt
doesn't say anything at all.

See what I mean?

Actually, Miss Duke, there is
one thing of yours that I love.

It's that scarf there.

Well, yeah, let's see.

That brings out the blue
in your baby blues.

- It does?
- What about my eyes?

- What about them?
- The shadow.

You look great.
Maybe it's a bit strong.

- Really?
- Just at the corner.

- May I?
- Yes.

Just smudge it out a bit.
There, like that.

That looks great.

Maybe you should
wear a little eye shadow.

- No, I shouldn't.
- Just a touch.

- I don't think I should.
- You could try it.

- What do you think of this?
- I think it's gorgeous.

Okay, why don't you press it?

Miss Duke?

I wondered if I could have next
Thursday evening off?

Why?

Personal reasons.

You know that Maltese cross
that I brought back from Paris?

- Yeah, it's in the safe.
- How do think that would go?

With this?
It would, yeah, absolutely would.

Well, when you say personal,
what do you mean?

I mean, do you have to go to a
funeral or have a procedure or what?

It's just, I have a date, sort of.

Really? Where did you meet?

- I haven't met him yet.
- It's a blind date?

Yeah, well, through the personals.

- Irish Echo.
- Village Voice.

How uncharacteristically
daring of you, Lafferty.

Are you a stone or a sponge?

- Never mind, that...
- Why, excuse me?

Well no, don't answer.
Never mind.

Permission granted.

Miss Duke, thanks very much.
I appreciate it.

I'll have this pressed at once.

Scarf.

Excuse me.

"I don't need a million dollars
to make my dreams come true"

"Baby, all I need is you"

"I don't need a fortune teller
to tell my troubles to"

"Baby, all I need is you."

"Don't need the sun..."

"Don't need the stars..."

"Because now I realize.
I found the sun..."

"I found the sun..."

"I found the stars..."

"Shining in your eyes"

"I'm right at the gates of heaven,
and I can pass right through"

"Baby, all I need is you"

- Bravo.
- I so love that one.

- My God.
- You sounded great, Miss Duke.

Peggy Lee couldn't do it
better herself.

She could and she did
and you know it.

Because Bernard used
to work for Miss Lee.

- Is that right?
- No, I just made the phone calls...

and I booked her rooms,
and I held the umbrellas.

And I opened the doors,
that sort of thing, you know.

- Want some more champagne?
- Please.

- Thank you.
- Now I heard that song...

for the first time in Las Vegas
at Caesar's Palace.

That's a real crowd-pleaser,
that song.

What was the one that
she did about the masochist?

- I don't know, what song is that?
- You know.

Where the guy is treating her
horribly and she's just loving it.

That sounds like the story
of my life.

No, it's my life.

- It is not your life.
- No, it is my life.

It's all of our lives.

Well, go ahead, sing it.

- Now?
- Now.

We only have now.

Wait a minute...

"I love the way
you're breaking my heart"

"It's terribly, terribly,
terribly thrilling"

That's it.

"I love the way
you're breaking my heart"

You have to imagine a wee black dress
on me with a million sequins.

"Although you're going to ruin it,
it's heaven while..."

What's the key?

"The way you're breaking my heart"

"Although you're going to ruin it,
it's heaven while you're doing it"

"I love the way I feel when we kiss"

"It's terribly, terribly, terribly
irresistable"

"Sight to me, lie to me"

"You really know how it's going
to hurt tommorow"

"But it feels so good now"

"So darling,
just keep playing your part"

"Because I love the way
you're breaking my heart"

Get the fuck out of here!

What's the big deal?
We both fuck other people.

Yeah, but you don't fuck my staff
in my house on my dime!

All right, I'm sorry.
I was high and I was drunk.

- Get the fuck out!
- Why are you acting so crazy?

- Let's just talk about this.
- Get out!

- It won't happen again.
- Get out!

- Back-stabbing son of a bitch!
- Bye.

Nothing makes me happier
than the scent of orchids.

Not even sex.

The one I'm really
going to miss is Paloma.

Nobody could clean
like that woman.

You know that picture
where Marilyn...

is crazy for guys
that play the saxophone?

Well, that's me with piano players.

Mechanics.

- Really?
- Sweaty guy with his head...

under the hood, intent on
his work with his hands all oily.

How many mechanics
have you actually had?

None.

- Lafferty.
- I'm always afraid to make a move.

They might beat me to death
with a monkey wrench.

No, see, that would make them
much more appealing to me.

How was your date?

You don't have to pretend
to be interested, Miss Duke.

No, I really am interested.

- Was he a mechanic?
- No, he wasn't.

He was something in sales.

Pressed shirt and nice clean hands.

I'm sorry.

Was he cute at least?

I wouldn't say cute exactly.
More like promising.

What happened? Here.

Well, we talked
and we had a few drinks.

And I talked some more
and then, you know...

Here's me in 10
easy-to-assemble pieces.

We have absolutely nothing in common.

So you struck out.

I did, yeah. It was something
of a relief, I have to say.

On my honeymoon...

The first honeymoon.

- That would be with...
- The first guy.

- Rubirosa?
- No, the first one.

God, that guy had a body.

He's still one of
my dirtiest fantasies, actually.

I just couldn't wait
to get him in bed and...

Jimmy came toward me,
I was swooning.

He was naked, stiff as a board.

And scooped me up in his arms
and he said...

Doris, I've been wondering, how much
is my annual allowance going to be?

- He didn't say that.
- He did say that.

My God. What did you say?

You know, I bet a lot
of guys find you hot.

- You have a great face.
- No, I don't.

No, really, it's so sensitive.

I'll be sick.

What do you want from me?
From me.

- Miss Duke?
- What do you want?

I mean, you don't fuck me, do you?

- No, I don't want anything.
- You don't steal from me.

- Do you steal from me?
- No, I don't want anything.

Well then, what do you want from me?

I want to take care of you.

Just want to take care of you.

Come on, Lafferty.
Hit the gas, will you?

- Come on.
- I'm going a little fast here...

because it's a wee road here.

For God's sake,
all right, pull over.

- Pull over, stop...
- What?

I'll show you.

- You all right there, ma'am?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

- Want a seatbelt?
- No, just go around.

Okay.

Just slow down a bit.

Hi.

You hit 80 back there.
Are you aware of that?

Yeah.

And also, before you ask me,
I do not have my license on me.

Okay, I'm going to have to ask you
to step out of the car, ma'am.

It's too cold, really.
I think to...

- Who's your friend?
- That's the Sultan of Brunei.

- Welcome to New Jersey.
- Thanks.

Okay, I'm going to have
to breathalyze you.

I don't think so.

I don't really want to be
breathalyzed. Sorry.

Well, then I'm going to have
to take you in.

No, I don't think so. Just get
on your little walkie-talkie...

or your radio or something
and talk to your chief.

Because he and I are buddies
from way back.

Then he'll be glad to see you
down at the station house.

- What?
- Okay, come on, let's go.

No.

- Ma'am, I'm coming!
- Wait a minute. Sultan?

Lucky thing,
you knowing the judge.

I know a lot of people.

He seemed awfully happy to see you.

Well, yes.
We had a little moment...

in the coatroom of the Phillips Club
about 20 years ago.

I don't find that funny.

You would if you'd been there.

Do you know how many
alcohol-abuse charities we support?

How do you think they'll feel
accepting money from a drunk?

Ironic.

You have a moral obligation
to set a good example.

Lighten up a little bit.

You know, Lafferty and I, we're just
trying to have a little bit of fun.

- Right, Lafferty?
- Yes, ma'am.

Just the coffee, please,
thank you.

All right.

Thank you, Lafferty.
That'll be all.

Ma'am.

In all the years I've known you...

you've never paid the slightest
attention to your staff.

- But this guy...
- He puts up with my shit.

He's great with my orchids.
He embroiders, for God's sake.

- He's a bad influence, Doris.
- I like him.

Doris, I've seen you figure
people out in 10 seconds flat.

You are a brilliant judge
of character.

Why can't you see that
this guy is up to something?

How much does she pay you?

- Excuse me?
- Your salary.

What does she pay you?
Five grand a month?

I think you know my salary, sir.
You have access to the records.

I'm writing you a check
for 200,000 dollars.

200,000 dollars?

That's right.

On condition you go away
and stay away.

I don't understand.

Miss Duke hired you
to be her butler...

not her drinking buddy.

Did she ask you to pay me off?

Okay, Miss Duke would not
be very happy...

if I walked out on her.

Loyalty is very important to her.

I agree, loyalty is
a valuable commodity.

Let's make it 500,000 dollars.

Do you think that's enough?

Give you a little breathing space.

I am not that easy.

Good evening, sir.

"Dear Lafferty, I get to my house
in Newport on Tuesday.

So make sure
they fix the roof pronto.

I'm not having workmen
all over the place while I'm there.

I thought I'd be back Sunday...

but I got invited
to Bali with George.

It is too good to pass up.

So I'll be stopping in Hong Kong
on the way to Indonesia.

May 10th through the 24th.

Book the Peninsula,
I want my usual suite.

Make sure I get my rate.

And I'll probably end up in Hawaii
in my house for the summer...

but I'm staying in my Beverly Hills
house along the way.

And the screening room
is still a mess.

Go there and oversee things
yourself if you have to.

Use Frequent Flier miles
if possible.

All right, Lafferty,
I've decided to extend my trip...

to see the migration in Botswana.

And please make sure
all my furs are in storage.

I don't want them moldering
away in the cedar closet...

a moment longer.

While you're at it,
see if you can get the stains...

out of the Balenciaga.

I don't know how they got there
but it is unwearable at this point.

Sincerely, Doris Duke."

- Welcome home, Miss Duke.
- Thank you, Lafferty.

I am so glad to be back.

My goodness, look at you.
Look at your hair.

- It's gotten so long.
- I can cut it if you'd like.

No, I like it.
It's so Jagger, isn't it?

- It is?
- Yes.

- Morocco was great?
- Great, yes.

Absolutely. But exhausting.

I brought you back
a little something.

A little gift?

Are you chewing gum?

Excuse me, ma'am,
I'll take it out.

I don't think
I've ever seen you chew gum.

Look, your present, voila.

- For you.
- What?

- Here.
- That's for me?

- That's for you. Try it on.
- No, it isn't.

- Come on, don't be silly.
- You're teasing me.

- Put your arm in.
- It's a caftan, is it?

Yes it is.

An antique caftan.

It's a perfect fit.
Look at that.

How brilliant am I?
That's gorgeous.

Perfect fit.

Thank you, it's just beautiful.

Look, it's hand-embroidered,
isn't it?

- It certainly is.
- I can't believe it.

It's the most beautiful
present I've ever had.

- It is.
- Gorgeous.

My God. I feel like
Lawrence of Arabia.

You know what?
This is missing a button.

I just remembered.
Could you take care of that?

I will of course, Miss Duke.
Thank you so much.

- You're so welcome.
- Thank you.

I can't believe it.

I mean, how could this happen?
Look at this, crown rot.

We might as well just pitch these.

And look at this.
It's got scale.

I mean, how did this happen?

- How did that happen?
- Well, I told the...

- I told the gardener...
- I left you in charge, didn't I?

Not the gardener.
Now you're going to have...

to just wipe the whole thing down
and change the growing medium.

- I can fix it.
- Okay, right here.

Here's the Pearla.

- I know where it is, ma'am.
- Well then do it.

- Not enough bark.
- I know what to do, ma'am.

Well then, do it then.
Now that's too much bark.

Please, Miss Duke,
I can handle this.

Right, and it's 2 degrees
too hot in here.

So turn that down.
Wipe down all the plants...

repot everything.

And don't forget
the fucking baskets.

Yes, ma'am.

Keep your breath going.

Okay, keep your breath going.

What?

- Miss Duke?
- Yes?

- Waldo Taft.
- What about him?

He's coming to dinner tonight.

- Yeah.
- What does he like to eat?

God, what about that...

Is that salmon still in the freezer?

Well, I'm not allowed
to throw anything out...

so it's still there.

Then tell the chef to poach that.

That salmon's been here
longer than I have.

It'll be fine.

That salmon's leftover from
when Jesus fed the 5,000.

- That's how old it is.
- It'll be fine.

Try to open up your lower back
a little bit.

I'll tell the chef to poach it.

This Marine Conservation Project
seems very interesting...

but I don't see the annual
fiscal report anywhere.

It's late.

Well, no report, no money.

- What's this now?
- The AIDS research.

They've asked for a 10 percent
increase over the last year.

It's not unreasonable.

All right, done then.

What else do we have here?

Some salmon, Mr. Taft?

It's...

Bon appetit.

The minister from
the Baptist church in...

I think it's Canton,
North Carolina.

Reverend Washington?
I love that man.

What does he want?

Well, apparently there was
a fire at his church.

They've raised 1 million dollars but
they need another 600,000 dollars.

Give him whatever he wants
and I'll write a personal note.

What else?

What else do we have?

You're not hungry, Mr. Taft?

- No.
- How about a nice glass...

of Peu Chimay?

No, thank you.
I never drink when I'm driving.

Lafferty, why don't you
fix Mr. Taft some coffee.

Sure.

- Peu Chimay, ma'am?
- No, just some coffee.

What's this now?

- The literacy program.
- Yes, the literacy program.

- How are they doing?
- Doing great work.

You know, I'm confused because
I saw this State Senate report...

that made it seem
as if there were some problems.

You know,
when I first came to America...

I could hardly write my own name.

And then I took one
of those literacy programs...

and now look at me.

"My young love said to me..."

"My mother won't mind"

"And my daughters won't slight you
for your lack of kind"

"She stepped away from me,
as she did say..."

"It will not be long love
until our wedding day"

Fuck.

No one wanted to tell you.

We know how fond you are of him.

Petrus '89, '90, '91. All gone.

- Christ.
- Chateau Margaux '86...

only the Premier Grand Cru.

Well, he has excellent taste,
you got to hand him that.

All the sherry,
maybe 100 bottles.

Jesus.

You want me to do something
about this?

Pack your bags.
You're fired.

"Dear Miss Duke.

As always, I found it difficult
getting used to being in rehab.

But I have managed to stay dry
for two weeks now.

And I think it's time I came home."

"Dear Lafferty.

I don't believe people
should be punished...

because they suffer
from an illness.

That is why I haven't fired you,
as I probably should have.

But I'm not yet ready
to have you back...

as a trusted member
of my household.

You will stay in rehab until
I am ready to forgive you."

Doris...

Doris, you okay?

Doris, you okay?

Doris?

Doris?

"Dr. Armenza, please report
to lCU, STAT.

Dr. Armenza,
please report to lCU, STAT.

She's had a sizeable stroke
but I think she will get over that.

It will take time. She's going to
need rehab and physical therapy.

But I am concerned about
her underlying condition...

which has always been an issue
in terms of her heart disease.

She's got a degenerative
heart problem.

And also the liver issues.

Her liver function tests
are not normal.

She'll need round-the-clock
care for now.

Here we go.

That's it.

What I did was unforgivable.

I'm so ashamed of myself.

You've taken me into your life...

you've been extremely
generous towards me.

I know I've let you down.

I can only say I'm deeply sorry.

I hope you can forgive me.

That's a good speech.
You learn it in rehab?

I wonder if you could help...

I'd very much like to keep my job.

Please.

Mr. Taft is calling
for Miss Duke, sir.

Okay.

Excuse me, Nancy.

- Mr. Taft.
- "Lafferty.

I'm at the front gate, let me in."

I'm sorry, sir, Miss Duke's
not receiving visitors today, sir

"I want to talk to her.
Put her on."

She's not taking calls either, sir.

- "Put her on."
- I'm sorry, sir.

I'm only following
Miss Duke's orders, sir.

- "I know what you're up to..."
- Mr. Taft...

Miss Duke appreciates your concern.

But her priority right now
is to avoid all stress.

- "Put her on right now."
- And if you're truly her friend...

you'll respect her wish
to be left alone.

- "Lafferty, for crying out loud."
- Yes, sir.

- Thank you, sir, goodbye.
- "This is ridiculous..."

What are the police doing here?

We're just trying to
establish the facts, Doris.

I'm old, I have a bad heart,
my lungs are for shit, end of story.

Did Mr. Lafferty try to control
your behavior in any way?

Well yes, he certainly has.

No visitors, no phone calls,
lights out at 9:00.

If devotion beyond the call
of duty were a crime...

he'd be a candidate
for Death Row.

That's what you call it?
Devotion beyond the call of duty?

Sorry to disappoint you, big guy.

Thank you, Miss Duke.

I'm sorry, Doris.

For all I knew, you might have been
locked in the attic like Baby Jane.

That's Blanche.
Baby Jane had the keys.

It worries me,
you being out here alone.

Let me get you proper care.
Round-the-clock nursing.

I'll think about it.

They'll cluck around you
like mother hens.

- Stop it.
- They'll be patronizing you...

treating you like a child.

It's time for your bath now, Doris.

Have we taken
our medicine today, Doris?

- They'll drive you nuts.
- Just stop it.

I'm still being punished,
isn't that it?

It's not about you, Lafferty.

I've tried to think of everything
I can to win back your trust.

I've ceased to exist
outside this house.

I've renounced my own life in order
to give you the care that you need.

The nurses are coming
in the morning.

It's the nurses or it's me.

- Don't make idle threats.
- It's not an idle threat, ma'am.

Well then, stop it!

For God's sake.

Would you bring in the nurses
if it meant losing me?

- I won't be put on the spot.
- Answer me, please.

It's a simple question, ma'am.
Just yes or no.

I don't want you to go
if that's what you're asking.

So you would do
without the nurses?

I want you to stay.

In my current capacity?

For God's sake, Lafferty.

I choose you above all others.

Is that what you want?

And you are not to prevent
Mr. Taft from seeing me, ever.

- Agreed?
- Agreed.

We can still bring the nurses in
if you think it's necessary.

No. You wanted me,
now you got me.

My daddy had pneumonia and
my mother sent away all the maids...

so she wouldn't have any witnesses.

And then she stripped him naked
and opened up the windows.

Because that's the way they do it
in Macon, Georgia, she says.

Of course, this was New York.

The coldest October in history.

I was only allowed to see him for
a few minutes every day after school.

You could see your breath
in the room.

The man froze to death
in his own home.

She thought that
she would get everything.

But my daddy knew what kind
of woman she was...

and he left it all to me.

My father died when I was three.

My mother died when I was eight.

I was coming home
from school one day...

and there was an ambulance there
at the end of our road.

A crowd was rubbernecking.

She was sitting up against a car.

It might have been the same one
that hit her, I don't know.

I thought she was all right
because there was no blood...

or anything like that.

It looked like she was just
having a snooze there...

in the middle of the road.

Her shopping was scattered all about.

Porridge oats
and pink custard powder.

The only family I had after that
was an aunt in Philadelphia.

Fate.

Here, let me give you
a hand with that, Miss Duke.

You just missed a bit here.

There, take a look.

I need more eyes.

Sure.

That's okay.
Let's do the other side.

Well, you know when you do it,
you should start from the base...

to the tip.
Try it on you.

- From the base to the tip?
- Yeah.

Like that?

Yeah.

Good evening, Nancy.

- Will that be all, Miss Du...
- Stop it.

Just sit down.

Happy birthday, Miss Duke.

I'm afraid this is not one of your
more glamorous birthday parties.

I've had much worse.

Perhaps you'll be up to having
a party again next year.

Lafferty, there are
a couple of things...

I want you to do for me
when I'm gone.

Do we have to talk
about that now?

- My bed socks, for instance.
- Bed socks?

Yes, I sometimes wear
bed socks when I sleep.

I've done so since
I was a little girl.

And if I should be
wearing my bed socks...

when I fall off the twig.

I would like you to please
remove them from my feet...

before the coroner gets there.

I don't want to look
like a complete idiot.

- Yes, sure.
- No fancy speeches.

No press.

And I would like you to dress me
in something casual.

Life is a journey, after all.
And I refuse to go into that box...

wearing an evening gown
or something equally stupid.

Yes, sure.

Make it a natural fiber,
not man-made.

Silk might be a good idea.

I want to demonstrate
my solidarity with nature.

- Of course.
- I could come back as a tree...

or a bird or a bug, or...

Who knows?

Will you do that for me, Lafferty?

Yes.

Promise?

I promise.

I must have lost my mind
to believe a fucker like you.

Am I dead yet?

Not yet.

- Just keep her hydrated.
- Yes, Doctor.

Sure you don't want me
to call a nurse?

No, I don't think so.

Call me if you need anything.

Here we go.

That's it.

I'm just going to adjust your pillow.

All right?

That's it.

That's it. Here we go.

There you go.

Good night. Sleep tight.

"I, Doris Duke,
a resident of and domiciled...

in the State of New Jersey.

Do hereby make, publish
and declare this to be...

my last will and testament.

Hereby revoking all wills
and codicils at any time...

heretofore made by me.

I direct there be no funeral service
or memorial service...

of any kind for me.

It is my wish that my ashes
be scattered over water.

I give and bequeath all of my right
title and interest to the following.

My real property known as Somerset
located in Somerville, New Jersey...

to the Doris Duke
Charitable Foundation.

My real property known as Rough
Point in Newport, Rhode Island...

to the Newport
Restoration Foundation.

My real property known as Shangri-La
in Kaalawai, Honolulu, Hawaii...

to the Doris Duke Foundation
for lslamic Art.

My real property known as Falcon's
Lair in Beverly Hills, California...

to the Doris Duke
Charitable Foundation.

I direct that my executors
make reasonable arrangements...

with lmelda Marcos for the repayment
of the 5 million dollars.

Plus accrued interest
that I loaned to her.

I give and bequeath
the following sums...

10 million dollars
to Duke University.

10 million dollars to the
Metropolitan Museum of Art.

And appoint Bernard Lafferty as
my individual executor hereunder...

with the sum of 5 million dollars...

for the performance
of his duties as executor.

I appoint Bernard Lafferty
as trustee...

of each trust created hereunder.

Bernard Lafferty shall appoint as
a co-executor such bank or trust...

company that he, in his absolute
discretion shall deem appropriate.

I appoint Bernard Lafferty
the director of the Foundation...

along with three additional persons
as Bernard Lafferty shall designate."

- Your breakfast, Mr. Lafferty.
- Thank you, Nancy.

On the table, please.

"I have hereunto set my hand
and affixed my seal...

to this, my last will and testament,
on this fifth day of April, 1993.

Doris Duke."

- Good afternoon, gentlemen.
- Good afternoon.

Let's get on with it, shall we?

Well, you have the agenda before you.

So we can begin
with item number...