Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,000
[MUSIC]
2
00:00:10,001 --> 00:00:20,000
[MUSIC]
3
00:00:20,001 --> 00:00:30,000
[MUSIC]
4
00:00:30,001 --> 00:00:40,000
[MUSIC]
5
00:00:40,001 --> 00:00:50,000
[MUSIC]
6
00:00:50,001 --> 00:01:00,000
[MUSIC]
7
00:01:00,001 --> 00:01:12,000
Last time on Dream On.
8
00:01:12,001 --> 00:01:13,000
No, no, no, I didn't order that.
9
00:01:13,001 --> 00:01:15,000
It's from the lady on
the other side of the bar.
10
00:01:15,001 --> 00:01:17,000
[MUSIC]
11
00:01:17,001 --> 00:01:19,000
What the old boy, how about that?
12
00:01:19,001 --> 00:01:22,000
I really needed to do
something different tonight.
13
00:01:22,001 --> 00:01:24,000
Something not me, you know what I mean?
14
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:26,000
What language is that?
15
00:01:26,001 --> 00:01:27,000
This was really nice.
16
00:01:27,001 --> 00:01:30,000
Maybe you should do
something different more often.
17
00:01:30,001 --> 00:01:31,000
Mm-hmm.
18
00:01:31,001 --> 00:01:37,000
The touch of a woman's
hand can mean a great deal.
19
00:01:37,001 --> 00:01:40,000
Oh, Martin, make it wonderful.
20
00:01:40,001 --> 00:01:43,000
Take me away.
21
00:01:43,001 --> 00:01:44,000
Okey-doke.
22
00:01:44,001 --> 00:01:47,000
[MUSIC]
23
00:01:47,001 --> 00:01:50,000
I had a wonderful evening.
24
00:01:50,001 --> 00:01:53,000
Look, look, I'm back to sleep.
25
00:01:53,001 --> 00:01:57,000
Everything you were looking for in
a leader, he cares about all the guys.
26
00:01:57,001 --> 00:01:59,000
Dan McGinn.
27
00:01:59,001 --> 00:02:01,000
Dan McGinn for the United States Senate.
28
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:03,000
He's what the country deserves.
29
00:02:03,001 --> 00:02:07,000
I had no idea how far you people
are going to get votes these days.
30
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,000
Oh, so you know.
31
00:02:09,001 --> 00:02:11,000
How could you not tell me?
32
00:02:11,001 --> 00:02:12,000
Well, I'm sorry.
33
00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:14,000
I just don't go out with Merridwin.
34
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:15,001
Goodbye, son.
35
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,000
[MUSIC]
36
00:02:17,001 --> 00:02:20,000
There's some members of
the press here to see you.
37
00:02:20,001 --> 00:02:21,000
Mr. Tupper!
38
00:02:21,001 --> 00:02:23,000
Mr. Tupper, right here!
39
00:02:23,001 --> 00:02:25,000
And I'm not about to let some Martin Tupper
40
00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:27,000
destroy what we've built
over the last 19 years.
41
00:02:27,001 --> 00:02:30,000
Did you or did you not have sex with Mrs.
McKedd?
42
00:02:30,001 --> 00:02:32,000
Let's keep sex out of it.
43
00:02:32,001 --> 00:02:36,000
73 women who claim to have had
sexual relations with Martin Tupper.
44
00:02:36,001 --> 00:02:37,000
73?
45
00:02:37,001 --> 00:02:39,000
I'm sure I slept with him.
46
00:02:39,001 --> 00:02:40,000
Oh, my God.
47
00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:42,000
I loved Martin Tupper.
48
00:02:42,001 --> 00:02:44,000
This is your baby, Marty!
49
00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:47,000
You can't count on the press
to tell you a side of the story.
50
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,000
What am I supposed to do?
51
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,000
I'll tell you what.
52
00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:50,000
Come on my show.
53
00:02:50,001 --> 00:02:52,000
[MUSIC]
54
00:02:52,001 --> 00:02:55,000
So, Mr. Tupper, what did you do
when you found out she was married?
55
00:02:55,001 --> 00:02:58,000
Well, I broke it off right away.
56
00:02:58,001 --> 00:03:00,000
I don't believe in dating married women.
57
00:03:00,001 --> 00:03:03,000
[APPLAUSE]
58
00:03:03,001 --> 00:03:05,000
I'm speechless with gratitude.
59
00:03:05,001 --> 00:03:08,067
Well, all I have to
say is, if you ever
60
00:03:08,079 --> 00:03:11,000
decide to date a
married woman again,
61
00:03:11,001 --> 00:03:13,000
you just give me a call.
62
00:03:13,001 --> 00:03:17,000
If you just tuned in, we're talking to
victim of the press, Martin Tupper.
63
00:03:17,001 --> 00:03:21,000
Now, Mr. Tupper, have you spoken to Mrs.
McKeddon since the incident?
64
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,000
No.
65
00:03:23,001 --> 00:03:24,000
And that's fine with me.
66
00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:27,000
I mean, this woman has
lied about me in the press,
67
00:03:27,001 --> 00:03:29,000
and she's made my life a living hell.
68
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:34,000
And I just want to put her
and this whole thing behind me.
69
00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:38,000
When you took her home to your
apartment, what were your intentions?
70
00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:40,000
Was this just some sort of one-night thing?
71
00:03:40,001 --> 00:03:41,000
No.
72
00:03:41,001 --> 00:03:42,000
No, of course not.
73
00:03:42,001 --> 00:03:45,000
I was hoping it would grow
into something much more.
74
00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:49,000
And believe me, I am not in the
habit of having one-night stands.
75
00:03:49,001 --> 00:03:51,000
[APPLAUSE]
76
00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:53,000
Oh, come on now.
77
00:03:53,001 --> 00:03:56,000
Excuse me?
78
00:03:56,001 --> 00:04:00,000
Not even say with the stewardess
during Labor Day weekend?
79
00:04:00,001 --> 00:04:02,000
I thought you were my friend.
80
00:04:02,001 --> 00:04:06,000
Well, I suppose we're all capable
of one regrettable indiscretion,
81
00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:08,551
whether it's with a
stewardess or perhaps
82
00:04:08,563 --> 00:04:11,000
the daughter of an
important networker.
83
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,000
I see your point.
84
00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:15,000
Let me throw this at you.
85
00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:18,000
Let's say you're at a book convention,
86
00:04:18,001 --> 00:04:22,000
and you have sex with two
women in a 24-hour period.
87
00:04:22,001 --> 00:04:26,000
Now, would you consider
that one one-night stand or two?
88
00:04:26,001 --> 00:04:28,000
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING]
89
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,000
It's getting a little dirty.
90
00:04:30,001 --> 00:04:32,000
Huh.
91
00:04:32,001 --> 00:04:35,000
That's a difficult one to answer.
92
00:04:35,001 --> 00:04:38,000
But I guess I'd have to
put it in the same category.
93
00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:41,000
You had sex with triplets.
94
00:04:41,001 --> 00:04:44,000
An interesting hypothetical.
95
00:04:44,001 --> 00:04:46,000
And we'll be right back after this word.
96
00:04:46,001 --> 00:04:48,000
[APPLAUSE]
97
00:04:48,001 --> 00:04:49,000
And we're out.
98
00:04:49,001 --> 00:04:50,000
You're insane.
99
00:04:50,001 --> 00:04:51,000
What's the matter with you?
100
00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:53,000
I'm sorry. You were lying.
I got a little carried away.
101
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,000
The stewardess, huh?
102
00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:55,000
You had to mention the stewardess.
103
00:04:55,001 --> 00:04:56,000
Oh, please.
104
00:04:56,001 --> 00:04:58,000
And if that important network
executive was watching,
105
00:04:58,001 --> 00:05:00,000
I'll be hosting the Home Shopping Club.
106
00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:02,000
Oh, I'm sorry if I put
you in a difficult position.
107
00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:05,000
Four, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
108
00:05:05,001 --> 00:05:08,000
Oh, I'm sorry if I put
you in a difficult position.
109
00:05:08,001 --> 00:05:09,000
Fuck you. Fuck you.
110
00:05:09,001 --> 00:05:10,000
Two, three.
111
00:05:10,001 --> 00:05:11,000
[APPLAUSE]
112
00:05:11,001 --> 00:05:14,000
Okay, we're back with
Martin Tupper, male bimbo.
113
00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:16,000
[MUSIC PLAYING]
114
00:05:16,001 --> 00:05:18,000
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
115
00:05:18,001 --> 00:05:20,000
You two, Putin.
116
00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:24,000
[MUSIC PLAYING]
117
00:05:24,001 --> 00:05:27,000
Well, I just wish this whole
thing had never happened.
118
00:05:27,001 --> 00:05:30,000
And I regret any pain I may
have caused my husband.
119
00:05:30,001 --> 00:05:31,000
Hello.
120
00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:32,000
Hello.
121
00:05:32,001 --> 00:05:34,000
No, don't worry about me.
122
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:37,000
I just go back to the
issues of this campaign.
123
00:05:37,001 --> 00:05:39,000
This Martin Tupper
seems completely unwilling
124
00:05:39,001 --> 00:05:41,000
to let us forget this
wretched chapter in our lives.
125
00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:42,000
Bullshit!
126
00:05:42,001 --> 00:05:45,000
That continues to capitalize
on it for his own personal gain.
127
00:05:45,001 --> 00:05:46,000
What gain?
128
00:05:46,001 --> 00:05:47,000
Do you see any gain here?
129
00:05:47,001 --> 00:05:48,000
I don't see any gain where.
130
00:05:48,001 --> 00:05:49,000
Where's the gain?
131
00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:50,000
Martin, get a grip.
132
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:52,000
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got to get to the school.
133
00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:54,000
I've got a little league team to coach.
134
00:05:54,001 --> 00:05:55,000
Don't forget to vote.
135
00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:56,000
Yo.
136
00:05:56,001 --> 00:06:01,000
Okay.
137
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,000
I'm going to have to talk to the guy.
138
00:06:04,001 --> 00:06:05,000
Talk to him?
139
00:06:05,001 --> 00:06:06,000
And say what?
140
00:06:06,001 --> 00:06:07,000
I don't know.
141
00:06:07,001 --> 00:06:11,000
I'll-- I'll just
say-- I'm sorry.
142
00:06:11,001 --> 00:06:12,000
I'll just wing it.
143
00:06:12,001 --> 00:06:14,000
You know, I've just got to
set the record straight here.
144
00:06:14,001 --> 00:06:16,000
Martin, you slept with the man's wife.
145
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:19,000
I don't think that he's interested
in bonding with you right now.
146
00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:21,000
In my professional opinion,
he's probably more inclined
147
00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:23,000
to hit you in the face with a shovel.
148
00:06:23,001 --> 00:06:25,000
Maybe you're right.
149
00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:29,000
Don't we even get a hello?
150
00:06:29,001 --> 00:06:31,000
Jeremy, what happened to your face?
151
00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:32,000
Hey, Scott, are you all right?
152
00:06:32,001 --> 00:06:33,000
I'm fine.
153
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:35,000
I just got into a little
fight at school, okay?
154
00:06:35,001 --> 00:06:38,000
Jeremy, you know your mother
and I do not approve of fighting.
155
00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:40,000
Now, what happened?
156
00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:42,000
This ninth grader called you a dumb slut.
157
00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:43,000
I'll kill him.
158
00:06:43,001 --> 00:06:44,000
Who is he?
159
00:06:44,001 --> 00:06:45,000
Come on, come on, give me his name.
160
00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:46,000
Give me his name.
161
00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:47,000
Martin, come on, Jeremy.
162
00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:49,000
Let's put some ice on you.
163
00:06:49,001 --> 00:06:52,000
You got to do something.
164
00:06:52,001 --> 00:07:00,000
So what I'm trying to say
is I never meant to harm you
165
00:07:00,001 --> 00:07:04,000
or your campaign, and I want
you to know I feel just terrible
166
00:07:04,001 --> 00:07:06,000
about what's happened,
and you've got to believe me.
167
00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:09,000
I want this whole thing to be
over just as much as you do.
168
00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:15,000
So anyway, that's how I feel,
and I appreciate you taking the time
169
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:18,000
to sort this whole mess out.
170
00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:20,000
Thank you.
171
00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:22,000
I am Willan if you are.
172
00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:24,000
All right, Ben, I'm Willan also.
173
00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:27,000
Who the fuck do you think you are?
174
00:07:27,001 --> 00:07:30,000
You screw my wife, and then
you have the balls to come in here
175
00:07:30,001 --> 00:07:31,000
and tell me how you feel.
176
00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:34,000
You think I give a rat's tit how you feel?
177
00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:37,000
Well, I don't think he likes me.
178
00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:39,000
I ought to reach it on your
throat and tear out your asshole
179
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:41,000
and wear it as a pinky ring,
but I'm not going to do that.
180
00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:42,000
You know why?
181
00:07:42,001 --> 00:07:45,000
Because you already have a pinky ring?
182
00:07:45,001 --> 00:07:46,000
No.
183
00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:50,000
Because you're the best
thing that ever happened to me.
184
00:07:50,001 --> 00:07:54,000
I don't get it. Me neither.
185
00:07:54,001 --> 00:07:55,001
Pineapple Trump?
186
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,000
No. No, thank you.
187
00:07:58,001 --> 00:08:00,000
I love these little guys.
188
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:03,000
I'm the best thing that
ever happened to you.
189
00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:07,000
Martin, before we met,
people said I was a coalfish.
190
00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:10,000
Not a single warm, fuzzy human
emotion people could relate to.
191
00:08:10,001 --> 00:08:13,000
Now I'm one of the most human guys I know.
192
00:08:13,001 --> 00:08:17,000
Men commiserate with me, women
comfort me, I'm up 17 points in the poll.
193
00:08:17,001 --> 00:08:23,000
But this whole media circus, you said
you wanted to get back to the issues.
194
00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:24,000
So did.
195
00:08:24,001 --> 00:08:26,000
I'd rather be the guy that
wants to get back to the issues
196
00:08:26,001 --> 00:08:28,000
than the guy that actually
does get back to them.
197
00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:31,000
I might have known it.
198
00:08:31,001 --> 00:08:32,000
He used me.
199
00:08:32,001 --> 00:08:34,000
He used me.
200
00:08:34,001 --> 00:08:36,000
Where is he?
201
00:08:36,001 --> 00:08:38,000
But I slept with your wife.
202
00:08:38,001 --> 00:08:39,000
I know you did.
203
00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:42,000
And if you're planning on doing it
again, please wait until after November.
204
00:08:42,001 --> 00:08:45,000
You fuck her once, I look
like a figure of compassion.
205
00:08:45,001 --> 00:08:47,000
You fuck her twice, I look like a schmuck.
206
00:08:47,001 --> 00:08:49,000
Martin, don't you want one of these?
207
00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:50,000
They're not in syrup.
208
00:08:50,001 --> 00:08:52,000
What the fuck are you talking about?
209
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000
They're in their own juice.
210
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:57,000
You know, I'm really not hungry now.
211
00:08:57,001 --> 00:08:58,000
Thank you.
212
00:08:58,001 --> 00:08:59,000
(phone buzzes)
213
00:08:59,001 --> 00:09:00,000
(woman on phone)
214
00:09:00,001 --> 00:09:01,000
(woman on phone)
215
00:09:01,001 --> 00:09:02,000
(woman on phone)
216
00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,000
(woman on phone)
217
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,000
(woman on phone)
218
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,430
Well, it's been
nice talking with you
219
00:09:05,442 --> 00:09:07,000
and, uh, Martin,
thanks for stopping by.
220
00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:09,000
I'm sorry if you're having
a hard time right now.
221
00:09:09,001 --> 00:09:13,000
But hey, you did get to bang my wife.
222
00:09:13,001 --> 00:09:14,000
Don't forget to vote.
223
00:09:14,001 --> 00:09:17,000
Where the fuck is the handicap meeting?
224
00:09:17,001 --> 00:09:18,000
(door closes)
225
00:09:18,001 --> 00:09:23,000
Psst.
226
00:09:23,001 --> 00:09:24,000
Hi.
227
00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:27,000
(phone rings)
228
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,000
Hi, how are you?
229
00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:30,000
How am I?
230
00:09:30,001 --> 00:09:31,000
How am I?
231
00:09:31,001 --> 00:09:32,000
Shh!
232
00:09:32,001 --> 00:09:33,000
How the fuck do you think I am?
233
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:35,000
Well, my money would be on angry.
234
00:09:35,001 --> 00:09:36,000
Good bet.
235
00:09:36,001 --> 00:09:39,000
I mean, Jesus Christ,
we slept together once.
236
00:09:39,001 --> 00:09:40,000
You've been screwing me ever since.
237
00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:41,000
Hey, do you think I'm enjoying this?
238
00:09:41,001 --> 00:09:43,000
Do you think I'm having
fun ruining your life?
239
00:09:43,001 --> 00:09:45,000
You're certainly good at it.
240
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,000
Look, I'm sorry for all those things
I've been saying to the reporters.
241
00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:49,000
Oh, well, here's a novel idea.
242
00:09:49,001 --> 00:09:51,000
Why don't you stop saying them?
243
00:09:51,001 --> 00:09:52,000
Why don't you start telling the truth?
244
00:09:52,001 --> 00:09:53,000
I can't.
245
00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:55,000
It's just...it's...it's Dan.
246
00:09:55,001 --> 00:09:57,000
He... He what?
247
00:09:57,001 --> 00:09:59,000
I just can't.
248
00:09:59,001 --> 00:10:00,000
Maybe you can't, but I can.
249
00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:02,000
Now, look, he told me some stuff in there.
250
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,000
Now, when I go to the press...
What? What are you gonna tell them?
251
00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:06,000
That he's thrilled this
whole thing happened,
252
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:09,000
that he wouldn't even mind if
you and I slept together again.
253
00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:12,000
Hmm. Well, actually, I
wouldn't mind that either.
254
00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:13,000
Sandra?
255
00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:16,000
Martin, he wants you to go to the press.
256
00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:17,000
What?
257
00:10:17,001 --> 00:10:19,000
Well, that way you keep
this whole thing alive.
258
00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:21,000
He'll deny everything.
Nobody will believe you.
259
00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:25,000
And that way you'll wind up
looking like an adulterer and a liar.
260
00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:31,000
So basically, you're telling
me that...that I'm fucked.
261
00:10:31,001 --> 00:10:32,000
We both are.
262
00:10:32,001 --> 00:10:34,000
Dan always wins.
263
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:39,000
You're a lucky fellow, Mr. Smith.
264
00:10:39,001 --> 00:10:42,000
Do you know just how highly you raise me?
265
00:10:42,001 --> 00:10:46,000
Martin Tupper represents everything
that's wrong with this country.
266
00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:50,000
A selfishness, a complete
disregard for one's fellow man.
267
00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:53,000
When you vote in the primary next
Tuesday, you're not voting for me.
268
00:10:53,001 --> 00:10:56,000
You're sending a message out
to all the Martin Tuppers out there.
269
00:10:56,001 --> 00:10:59,000
This is our country,
and we're taking it back.
270
00:10:59,001 --> 00:11:00,000
Yes!
271
00:11:00,001 --> 00:11:03,000
Oh, I'm sorry. I got caught up.
272
00:11:03,001 --> 00:11:05,000
He's a very good speaker.
273
00:11:05,001 --> 00:11:07,000
(
274
00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:09,000
Applause )
275
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:15,000
Five, four, three, two, one!
276
00:11:15,001 --> 00:11:17,000
(
277
00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:19,000
Chanting )
278
00:11:19,001 --> 00:11:22,000
Man, you've really got a family tree.
279
00:11:22,001 --> 00:11:25,060
With Washington,
Jefferson, Lincoln and me,
280
00:11:25,072 --> 00:11:28,000
You're lucky to have
ancestors like that.
281
00:11:28,001 --> 00:11:31,000
Don't you know you were
born with a feather in your hat?
282
00:11:31,001 --> 00:11:34,000
Look, the primary is in six days, okay?
283
00:11:34,001 --> 00:11:37,000
If I can just hang on till then, I'm...
Oh, my God.
284
00:11:37,001 --> 00:11:40,000
You're very good, church.
I thought I'm an extra-lush for sure.
285
00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:42,000
Oh, I gotta get one.
286
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:44,000
What?
287
00:11:44,001 --> 00:11:46,000
Your return.
288
00:11:46,001 --> 00:11:53,000
To be able to live as you do
You're a lucky fellow, Mr. Smith.
289
00:11:53,001 --> 00:11:56,000
You're a very, very wealthy gentleman.
290
00:11:56,001 --> 00:11:59,000
I don't care if you haven't a sense.
291
00:11:59,001 --> 00:12:06,000
You've got your American way
And brothers that ain't changed.
292
00:12:06,001 --> 00:12:08,000
I think things are starting to die down.
293
00:12:08,001 --> 00:12:10,000
You know, I mean, nobody
stopped me on the street today.
294
00:12:10,001 --> 00:12:12,000
There's nothing in the papers.
295
00:12:12,001 --> 00:12:14,000
Hey!
296
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:17,000
Two screwdrivers, a Rob
Roy and a Martin Tupper.
297
00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:25,000
So, you were saying?
298
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,000
You're speech is free!
299
00:12:33,001 --> 00:12:35,000
And you've got your health.
300
00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:37,000
Sure, we've got our health.
301
00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:39,000
And tell me why not.
302
00:12:39,001 --> 00:12:42,000
Take a look at the great
constitution we've got.
303
00:12:42,001 --> 00:12:47,000
What do you want to watch, then?
304
00:12:47,001 --> 00:12:50,000
I don't care. Anything but CNN.
305
00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:55,000
This man has all the
oratory skills of Billy Bibbitt.
306
00:12:55,001 --> 00:12:58,000
Yeah.
307
00:12:58,001 --> 00:13:01,000
Hey, what do you think about
this Senate ethics committee, huh?
308
00:13:01,001 --> 00:13:03,000
Senate. Ethics.
309
00:13:03,001 --> 00:13:05,000
Putting senators in charge of ethics.
310
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,889
It's like going out
of town and asking
311
00:13:06,901 --> 00:13:09,000
Martin Tupper to keep
an eye on your wife.
312
00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:14,000
What a funny.
313
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,000
It's just a joke, Dad.
314
00:13:16,001 --> 00:13:18,000
I think it's past somebody's bedtime.
315
00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:21,000
You're blushing red, white and
blue, but buddy, that's all right, too.
316
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:24,000
Because those colors look good on you.
317
00:13:24,001 --> 00:13:28,000
You're a lucky bellow, Mr. Smith.
318
00:13:28,001 --> 00:13:32,000
Hello.
319
00:13:32,001 --> 00:13:36,000
Yeah, hang on. It's Dan McKadden.
320
00:13:36,001 --> 00:13:39,000
Some poor suckers could choose.
They'd love to be in your shoes.
321
00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:42,000
They're proves that you're good.
Fortune's no mere.
322
00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:46,000
You're a lucky bellow, Mr. Smith.
323
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:51,000
Ever been to Hawaii, Martin?
324
00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:53,000
No.
325
00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:57,000
White, Sandy beaches,
drinks with little umbrellas.
326
00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:59,000
Pineapple chunks?
327
00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:00,000
Best in the world.
328
00:14:00,001 --> 00:14:03,000
Tell me about France, you know,
because I haven't been there either.
329
00:14:03,001 --> 00:14:07,000
All right, Martin, I know you had
enough of this little scandal, and quite
330
00:14:07,001 --> 00:14:08,000
frankly, so have I.
331
00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:11,000
Oh, really? Is the press camped
out in front of your door day and night?
332
00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:12,000
Huh?
333
00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:14,000
Is your sex life the subject of
a pie chart in the USA today?
334
00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:16,000
You see, that's just the problem.
335
00:14:16,001 --> 00:14:18,000
You're getting more coverage than I am.
336
00:14:18,001 --> 00:14:19,000
I see.
337
00:14:19,001 --> 00:14:22,000
Now, here are two
first-class tickets to Maui.
338
00:14:22,001 --> 00:14:25,000
Hotel room, ocean view, rental car.
Even got you the convertible.
339
00:14:25,001 --> 00:14:26,989
So that's... I've served
my purpose, and
340
00:14:27,001 --> 00:14:29,000
I think you can just
ship me off to some
341
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,000
tropical paradise.
342
00:14:30,001 --> 00:14:32,000
That's the basic idea.
343
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:35,000
I'm holding a press conference this
afternoon. I'm gonna Bury this thing.
344
00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:36,000
Do us both a favor.
345
00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:37,000
Get out of town.
346
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,000
No.
347
00:14:38,001 --> 00:14:39,937
Forget it. I'm not
gonna take anything
348
00:14:39,949 --> 00:14:42,000
from you, because
I don't like you, Dan.
349
00:14:42,001 --> 00:14:46,000
I think you're a disgusting,
vile, pernicious piece of shit.
350
00:14:46,001 --> 00:14:48,000
Granted. But that's not the issue here.
351
00:14:48,001 --> 00:14:51,000
Do you want to spend next
week with the press up your ass?
352
00:14:51,001 --> 00:14:54,000
Or would you rather be working on your tan?
353
00:14:54,001 --> 00:15:00,000
Say no, Tim.
354
00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:06,000
It's just tough.
It's right here. It's right here.
355
00:15:06,001 --> 00:15:09,000
Tell him he know. Tell him he know.
356
00:15:09,001 --> 00:15:15,000
Attaboy.
357
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:18,000
Hang on. The girl's got your itinerary.
358
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:22,000
Oh.
359
00:15:22,001 --> 00:15:24,000
I believe you two know each other.
360
00:15:24,001 --> 00:15:26,000
Hello, Martin.
361
00:15:26,001 --> 00:15:28,000
Hello, Sandra.
362
00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:30,000
You're still very beautiful.
363
00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:32,000
You wanted to see me?
364
00:15:32,001 --> 00:15:33,000
What's this?
365
00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:35,000
It's fashionable magazine.
366
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:38,000
Yes, it is. Now, why did you turn
to page 37? Tell me what you see.
367
00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:44,000
Recipes of the candidates' wives.
You told me to do this.
368
00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:46,581
Yes, I did. But I did
not tell you to give
369
00:15:46,593 --> 00:15:49,000
them your grandmother's
goulash recipe.
370
00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:52,000
Do you think I want people
to know you're Hungarian?
371
00:15:52,001 --> 00:15:54,000
I don't see why you should say that.
372
00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:58,000
Do you ever think? Is that brain of
yours good for anything besides holding
373
00:15:58,001 --> 00:15:59,000
up your hair?
374
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,000
I think I should go.
375
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:03,000
Oh, hold on, Martin.
It's all right. We're done.
376
00:16:03,001 --> 00:16:07,000
I'll see you at the press conference.
When are you gonna get dressed?
377
00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:10,000
Well, I thought, um...
I thought I wore this.
378
00:16:10,001 --> 00:16:11,000
Green?
379
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:14,000
You're gonna stand next to me at
a press conference wearing green?
380
00:16:14,001 --> 00:16:17,000
Do you want those jaundice
rumors to start again?
381
00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:20,000
I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking.
382
00:16:20,001 --> 00:16:22,000
It was just such a
bright, sunny day that I...
383
00:16:22,001 --> 00:16:25,000
You look like a house in that.
You put shutters in a door on that and give
384
00:16:25,001 --> 00:16:26,000
you an address.
385
00:16:26,001 --> 00:16:27,000
I think she looks great.
386
00:16:27,001 --> 00:16:28,000
Shut up, Martin.
387
00:16:28,001 --> 00:16:31,000
He yelled at me.
388
00:16:31,001 --> 00:16:34,000
I want you to go home and
put all that blue and green one.
389
00:16:34,001 --> 00:16:36,000
Pleats are slimming.
390
00:16:36,001 --> 00:16:40,000
Congressman, the women's
rights people are here.
391
00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:42,000
Tom, boys. How do I look?
392
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,000
Thanks.
393
00:16:44,001 --> 00:16:51,000
All right, Martin. Be sure you see
the girl on the way out, huh? Aloha.
394
00:16:51,001 --> 00:17:00,000
You know, you really do look great.
395
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,838
Look, it's really
not my place to ask,
396
00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:12,000
but... What are you
doing with that prick?
397
00:17:12,001 --> 00:17:16,000
I don't know. I'm married to him.
398
00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:17,000
He treats you like shit.
399
00:17:17,001 --> 00:17:20,000
Oh, that was nothing. Believe me.
400
00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:22,000
What? Does he hit you?
401
00:17:22,001 --> 00:17:24,000
Not in an election year.
402
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:27,267
Oh, Jesus, Sandra.
Get out, will you?
403
00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:31,000
Just get out. I mean,
you don't need this.
404
00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:33,000
Believe me, it's not that easy.
405
00:17:33,001 --> 00:17:36,000
That's what I was kind
of trying to do with you.
406
00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:38,000
And we all saw how well that turned out.
407
00:17:38,001 --> 00:17:41,000
Do you love him?
408
00:17:41,001 --> 00:17:44,000
No. No.
409
00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:52,000
But this is me. This is my life.
What else would I do?
410
00:17:52,001 --> 00:17:58,000
Sandra, look, just get out. Will you?
I mean, you don't need this.
411
00:17:58,001 --> 00:18:00,000
I want to. I do.
412
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:07,000
But Dan would just... I wouldn't
even know what I'm doing.
413
00:18:07,001 --> 00:18:11,000
Have a nice trip.
414
00:18:11,001 --> 00:18:17,000
I wish I could help.
Ken, if you have any guts.
415
00:18:17,001 --> 00:18:27,000
And I feel that if I am
able to forgive my wife,
416
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:32,000
and to put this painful time behind
me, then the people of the state should
417
00:18:32,001 --> 00:18:33,000
be able to as well.
418
00:18:33,001 --> 00:18:35,917
It's time to get back
to the basic family
419
00:18:35,929 --> 00:18:39,000
values that I have
stood for my whole life.
420
00:18:39,001 --> 00:18:43,000
And it's time to get back to
the issues of this campaign.
421
00:18:43,001 --> 00:18:46,000
I agree.
422
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:49,000
Mr. Tupper, I'm glad you're here.
423
00:18:49,001 --> 00:18:53,000
Gives me an opportunity to extend
my hand in friendship to you as well.
424
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:54,000
Call security.
425
00:18:54,001 --> 00:18:58,000
I thank you, Dan. And I just wanted
you to know that... Excuse me, Phil.
426
00:18:58,001 --> 00:19:03,000
That even after all that's happened,
you can count on my vote Tuesday.
427
00:19:03,001 --> 00:19:07,000
Because the Senate needs
more men like Dan McCadden.
428
00:19:07,001 --> 00:19:08,989
It's very gracious
of you, Mr. Tupper.
429
00:19:09,001 --> 00:19:11,000
Now, if there are
no more questions...
430
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:14,000
And you know, Dan, I hardly agree.
It's time we put this whole unfortunate
431
00:19:14,001 --> 00:19:15,000
business to rest.
432
00:19:15,001 --> 00:19:18,000
How true. So we're going to move on now.
433
00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:23,000
There's one night of foolish passion.
But that's all for God.
434
00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:26,000
- Exactly. - Dad, don't. I have no idea.
435
00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:30,000
There have been so many rumors and
accusations. I think we ought to set the
436
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:31,000
record straight.
437
00:19:31,001 --> 00:19:33,686
I think the record's
pretty damn straight
438
00:19:33,698 --> 00:19:36,000
as it is. Come on
now, Dan, Sondra.
439
00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:39,000
I think it's time we told
the truth about that night.
440
00:19:39,001 --> 00:19:46,000
It was a threesome.
441
00:19:46,001 --> 00:19:51,000
Threesome?
442
00:19:51,001 --> 00:19:53,000
It's a political term.
443
00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:57,000
- Oh, you are good.
- And what a night it was.
444
00:19:57,001 --> 00:19:59,000
It's clearly in safe security.
445
00:19:59,001 --> 00:20:01,000
Of course, Dan mostly watched.
446
00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:04,000
There's nobody's talking about it.
It's like Sandra. Tell them.
447
00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:10,000
Go on, Kara. Do it.
448
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:18,000
Well, darling, we had done so many drugs.
449
00:20:18,001 --> 00:20:20,000
- Drugs? - Drugs?
450
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:23,000
I tell you, she's one in a million.
451
00:20:23,001 --> 00:20:28,000
Perhaps you don't remember.
But let me tell you, it was so nice.
452
00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:32,000
And, you know, the important thing is
we have to put that all behind us now
453
00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:34,000
and just get back to the issues, right?
454
00:20:34,001 --> 00:20:35,001
Right?
455
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,000
And with only a fraction
of the votes counted,
456
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:56,000
the Piers former Game Show host Kurt
Carpenter has taken the primary with a
457
00:20:56,001 --> 00:20:58,000
strong 67% of the vote.
458
00:20:58,001 --> 00:21:02,000
Lieutenant Governor Dorothy
Rutkin plays second with 23%,
459
00:21:02,001 --> 00:21:06,000
and Congressman Dan McCadden,
only a week ago, was leading in the polls,
460
00:21:06,001 --> 00:21:09,000
came in a distant third with just 6%.
461
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:12,000
- Morning, cinema.
- People always get what they deserve.
462
00:21:12,001 --> 00:21:17,000
No, no, no, no, I didn't know any of that.
463
00:21:17,001 --> 00:21:19,000
It's from the lady.
464
00:21:19,001 --> 00:21:24,000
Hi.
465
00:21:24,001 --> 00:21:27,000
Hi.
466
00:21:27,001 --> 00:21:32,000
- So, did you vote? - Yeah.
467
00:21:32,001 --> 00:21:36,000
Yeah, I went with the Game Show
host, you know. He's tough on crime.
468
00:21:36,001 --> 00:21:39,000
I tried to call you.
469
00:21:39,001 --> 00:21:41,394
No, I've been upstate
visiting my mom.
470
00:21:41,406 --> 00:21:44,000
I've had quite a lot
of explaining to do.
471
00:21:44,001 --> 00:21:47,000
Yeah, I'll bet. So, how have you been?
472
00:21:47,001 --> 00:21:50,000
- Life without Dan is... - Different.
473
00:21:50,001 --> 00:21:52,000
Scary.
474
00:21:52,001 --> 00:21:54,000
It's good.
475
00:21:54,001 --> 00:21:56,579
I got an offer to do a
jeans commercial and
476
00:21:56,591 --> 00:21:59,000
some people want me
to host a cable show
477
00:21:59,001 --> 00:22:04,000
and there's that centerfold thing,
but I don't think I'm gonna do it.
478
00:22:04,001 --> 00:22:07,000
But still, I think I'm gonna be okay.
479
00:22:07,001 --> 00:22:10,000
Listen,
480
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:15,000
you think you can find time in your
busy schedule to take a few days off?
481
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,000
Why?
482
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:20,000
Have you ever been to Hawaii?
483
00:22:20,001 --> 00:22:26,000
You're blushing red, white and
blue, but buddy, that's all right too,
484
00:22:26,001 --> 00:22:29,000
because those colors look good on you.
485
00:22:29,001 --> 00:22:33,000
You're a lucky bellow, Mr. Smith.
486
00:22:33,001 --> 00:22:40,000
You're a lucky bellow, and
the suckers could choose.
487
00:22:40,001 --> 00:22:43,000
They would love to be
in your little shoesies.
488
00:22:43,001 --> 00:22:46,000
That proves that you're
good fortune's no myth.
489
00:22:46,001 --> 00:22:50,000
You're a lucky bellow, Mr. Smith.
490
00:22:50,001 --> 00:22:57,000
Star of the hit Broadway show, the
producers Nathan Lane is tonight's
491
00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:59,000
special guest on The Late Show.
492
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,000
[MUSIC].
493
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,000
[MUSIC].
494
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,000
[MUSIC]
495
00:23:08,001 --> 00:23:10,000
[MUSIC]
496
00:23:10,001 --> 00:23:12,000
[MUSIC].
497
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,000
[MUSIC]
498
00:23:15,001 --> 00:23:17,000
[MUSIC]
499
00:23:17,001 --> 00:23:19,000
[MUSIC]
500
00:23:19,001 --> 00:23:21,000
[MUSIC]
501
00:23:21,001 --> 00:23:23,000
[MUSIC]
502
00:23:23,001 --> 00:23:25,000
[MUSIC]
503
00:23:25,001 --> 00:23:27,000
[MUSIC]
504
00:23:27,001 --> 00:23:29,000
[MUSIC]
505
00:23:29,001 --> 00:23:57,000
♪♪♪
506
00:23:57,001 --> 00:23:59,000
(snoring)
507
00:23:59,001 --> 00:24:01,000
(rooster crowing)
508
00:24:01,001 --> 00:24:03,000
(rooster crowing)
509
00:24:03,001 --> 00:24:10,000
♪♪♪.
37215
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof