Original subtitles

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love boat"]

Theme song: Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward, let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

[Festival music playing]

Announcer (over pa): Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Aruba.

We will disembark passengers in 30 minutes.

[Celebratory music playing]

Bring me all the information you can find about Tom.

I'll set up headquarters in that cafe.

And good hunting.

Come on.

People in this parade, they're all local residents.

Yeah?

He could be one of them.

I'm going to take a look.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I think I can find him.

Wait!

Tom!

Oh, Thomas Mallory!

Your uncle's looking for you!

Tom!

It's me, Marvin, from the bookstore.

Oh, Tom Mallory!

Where are you, man?

Come on, Tom!

Tom!

Where are you, man?

Tom, is that you?

What you doing with them braids, brother?

Tom!

Interesting custom, eh?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

We take great pride in our festival.

Oh, you live here, then?

From time to time.

I've traveled all the islands.

Well, then, maybe you can help me.

I'm looking for a guy, a man named Tom Mallory.

- Mallory? - Yeah.

Mallory.

Uh-huh.

I don't recall the name.

But could you describe him?

Uh, well, he's got, um--

ok, we've got a lead.

Let's go back to Mallory. - Oh, great.

Marvin!

Marvin!

Hey, Marvin, we got something!

Excuse me.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Oh, no.

Let's find another place, huh?

Although I don't think it would matter

to Brian one way or the other.

Mr. Mallory, I think we're onto something here.

You see, Tom had always talked a lot about joining the church.

So just on a hunch, we went and talked to the local priest.

Now, he says that Tom has been here.

In fact, the priest was holding a note for him.

Saying what?

Something about going to Martinique.

Martinique's our next stop.

Hey, so what's happening?

Well, we can head back to the ship, then.

Seems we're on the trail.

Announcer (over pa): Attention all passengers, our next stop

will be at 11:00 am tomorrow at the port of Martinique.

[Knocking]

Yes?

I came in to say good night.

Good night.

I love you.

You've been looking awful worried lately.

Can I help?

You know there isn't anything in the whole wide world

I wouldn't do for you.

Thank you, dear.

There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, too.

There's no problem.

Good.

Good night.

Good night.

[Door opening, closing]

Martinique is a very big island.

Where do you suppose we should start to look?

I don't know.

Remember that priest said something

that sounded like "pilot"?

Maybe Tom's at the airport.

Hey, is Tarzan around today?

- (Laughing) No. - Come on.

I'll buy you a drink.

Yeah.

- Night. - I'll see you later.

Marcia: See you later.

Good evening.

Oh, good evening.

You going to be with us now for the rest of the cruise?

Oh, possibly.

Any luck finding your friend, Mr., um, what is it, Miller?

No, it's Mallory.

No, all we have is some--

pilot.

Here's a village called pilote--

case-pilote.

I'll bet you that's where Tom is.

I think I've just cracked this case.

Ha ha.

Wait till I lay that on my friends in the morning.

Oh, you won't tell 'em anything, will you?

- Not a word. - Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, hi.

I was just on my way to see you.

You busy?

I just made my last call of the day-- he said hopefully.

[Both chuckling]

Have you got a minute?

Sure.

Adam.

Yeah?

Mind if I get personal?

Not at all.

Ok.

You're an able man, sensible, a good doctor.

What the heck are you doing on the love boat?

Woo!

That's a loaded question.

Well-- and I don't think I'd give

this answer to anyone else--

but to be honest, I kind of bombed out on shore--

not professionally but in my personal life.

So I guess I came aboard to escape involvement.

And once I tried it, I liked it.

Do you miss being a successful Beverly Hills doctor?

Well, I can't answer that.

But you see, at the time, I wasn't looking

for that kind of success.

I was looking for something more important.

I was looking for me.

And?

I don't think I've found him yet.

That's pretty honest.

Well, I think you're asking for honesty.

But if you bring any of this up tomorrow, I'll deny it.

So.

That's my story.

Now, why are you asking?

I've had an offer for a lot of money.

Yeah, Charlie dillingham.

How did you know?

Well, Isaac told me.

Oh.

And?

About a year ago, I wouldn't even have considered it.

But now, with Vicki--

I know, the responsibility.

Apart from the money, it would mean a normal home, the chance

for me to give Vicki my undivided attention,

give her the best schools--

the best of everything, not to mention the fact

of the excitement of New York.

Well, that's some package.

Hey, how would you like to adopt me?

[Chuckling]

On the other hand, I love the sea, being with the passengers,

pleasing them.

This may sound corny, but I enjoy making people happy.

Well, you've got a problem.

Any suggestion?

No.

But I'm with you any way you decide.

Thanks.

Adam-- in case I haven't told you before, I really like you.

It's perfectly understandable.

[Suspenseful music playing]

[Door opening]

You know you're right, Pete.

Tom never mentioned to me that he had an uncle.

Hm?

Pete: Well, maybe they had a family argument or something.

Marcia: Yeah.

May I talk to you a minute, please?

Yes.

Excuse me.

- It's ok. - Excuse her.

Sure.

Ow.

Why are you hanging around that guy?

I'm not hang--

no, no.

Uh, Pete is looking for Mallory's nephew, too,

and he's just got some great ideas.

That's all.

I'll bet he has.

No, it's not like that.

Don't be so silly.

Go lift something, hmm?

Nice and heavy.

Go ahead.

Boy, I sure hope we have some luck in Martinique tomorrow.

Well, you guys just stick with me.

We'll wrap it up.

Well, I hope so.

[Creaking]

Hey, watch out!

Are you all right?

Yeah, relax.

I'm fine.

But gopher almost got hit.

I better take him inside.

I worry about him.

He's giving his left kidney to my fianc

before we get married.

Wow, what a wedding present.

Wouldn't it be easier if you just

checked the silver pattern?

Are you all right?

Huh?

I guess things like this are falling all over the ship

all the time, huh?

Not on this ship--

never.

Never?

Lucien: Young man.

You people really should be more careful.

That sort of thing can be very, very dangerous.

[Music playing]

Julie.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Roger.

Listen, i'm, uh, i'm sorry about what happened

with maude and the captain.

Probably, it was a little tacky.

She's very nice once you get to know her.

Yes, well, she has a vivid imagination.

Yes!

She really-- you know, i'd like for us to sit down,

the three of us, and just talk.

You'll see.

You'll like her.

I really don't think so, Roger.

No.

Please, Julie, for old time's sake.

Ok.

You're an angel.

Ah.

Announcer (over pa): Welcome to Martinique.

Land tours will be leaving from the coral

deck gangway in one half hour.

The French island of Martinique.

It's the largest of the windward isles,

the land of the beguine, which is more than just a dance.

It's a way of life.

[Music playing]

Gopher: I appreciate you coming along, Isaac.

I didn't know you could speak French.

Isaac: Sure.

I'm more than just a pretty face.

Gopher: Ok.

Now, when we get there, Marvin, you

look for Tom on the beachfront.

Marvin: You got it.

Gopher: And Pete, you and marcia check the side streets.

Isaac and I will do the marketplace.

If he's anywhere in case-pilote, we'll find him.

[Bell clanging]

[People talking]

Bien, bien.

Merci beaucoup.

Merci beaucoup.

You're with Mr. Lucky today.

He says he knows where he is. - All right.

Mr. Mallory!

Go with him.

You know, I got it figured.

He probably got himself a little house here,

and he's probably just living it up real good, don't you think?

Living it up?

[Desolate music playing]

[Speaking French]

Oh.

I'm sorry, Mr. Mallory.

That could be my brother, not Tom.

He lived somewhere in the Caribbean.

But to be certain, we'll have to find out just

whose body is in that grave.

Well, i-- maybe there's another grave.

I mean, I hope not, but--

I'll check it out.

Hello.

[Gasping]

Good afternoon.

Hello.

Are you enjoying yourself on the island?

What are you doing here?

I'm here on business.

Business?

Yes.

Let me introduce myself.

I'm Lucius kergo, mortuary supplies, at your service.

I hope not.

Mr. Mallory.

Mr. Mallory.

Will you please excuse me?

I'm-- i'm-- I just--

I have to--

I think we hit paydirt.

So did we.

But we think Tom is under it.

No.

That is Tom's father.

This lady used to be his housekeeper,

and she says that Tom was here but only to pick

up the box his father left him.

What was in it?

It was locked.

There was no key.

Well, do you know where Tom went from here?

No, I don't.

Pete and Marvin are still checking around,

but nobody seems to know.

I'll tell you something, man--

I am tired and it's hot.

Woo, boy!

Hey, look.

Marvin: What?

Serrurier.

That's a French word for locksmith.

If Tom had a box without a key, where would he go?

I don't know.

Maybe that guy knows something.

Uh, [speaking awkward French].

Don't tell me--

two years high school French.

Am I right?

Is the shop open?

Closed.

But the sign says it's open.

The sign also says Pierre.

He's been dead for 12 years.

So there is no locksmith here.

Of course, there's a locksmith.

Why would there be a locksmith shop

if there wasn't any locksmith?

Well, where is he?

C'est moi.

You?

You're the locksmith.

[Speaking French]

Listen, can we go inside here and talk?

Locksmith: Impossible.

Why's that?

The door is locked, and I lost the key.

But you're the locksmith.

Can't you make another one?

How can I get inside to make one?

Let me ask you this.

About six months ago, did a man named Mallory ask

you to make a key for a box?

The kind of box he's in, he doesn't need a key.

No, we don't mean that Mallory.

We mean his son, Tom Mallory.

Oh, Tom, yes.

A nice boy.

Yeah, I made a key for him.

Can you tell us where Tom went when he left here?

Yep.

So where'd he go?

That's west.

Where'd he go--

Central America, Mexico?

Next door to use the phone.

Who did he call?

Do I look like a man who would eavesdrop?

He made an appointment.

Pete: With who?

With someone at the bluebeard hotel in St. Thomas.

Hey, that's great.

How can we thank you?

Send me a locksmith.

Listen, tell the others Tom went on to St. Thomas.

I'm going to hang around a while.

I'll get back to the ship on my own.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to ask a few more questions.

Things don't quite add up.

Talk to you later.

Announcer (over pa): We hope you enjoyed

your visit to Martinique.

We'll be arriving in St. Thomas at 10:00 tomorrow morning.

Hi, Mr. Dillingham.

Hey, hi there.

Oh, now, let me guess.

I'd say that's a souvenir from Martinique.

It's a French sailor's hat.

Isn't it neat?

Yeah, it's nice.

I like it.

Martinique was sure fun.

Well, it's a great island to visit,

but for living, I'll still take Manhattan.

You live in New York?

Yeah.

Do you think you would like it there?

Are you kidding?

That would be the end.

Well.

How do you like the new uniform?

Tr s chic.

You know something?

Maybe you ought to continue our conversation with your father.

I'll see you later, merrill.

Right, Charlie.

What did he mean by that?

I don't know.

Well, what were you two talking about?

He just asked me how i'd like to live in New York.

Oh.

And, uh, what did you tell him?

I told him it would be great.

What's so great about it?

Well, the parks and the zoos and the statue of Liberty

and the taxis and the--

and subways and crowds and noise.

That too.

It'd be super.

[Piano music playing]

What are you drinking?

Stp.

Stp?

Shirley temple with Perrier.

Whenever I'm on a case, I really hit the stuff.

It's that guy again.

Who?

The guy over there in the hat.

He's showing up everywhere we go.

Like where?

Like last night on the deck when I almost conked my head.

That stuff did not fall by accident.

Rope was cut with a knife.

Wow.

Right.

Look, has anyone seen Pete?

Gopher: Huh-uh. Marvin: No.

He's got to be around here somewhere.

No, he isn't.

Something's happened.

I don't know.

Nobody's seen him since he went ashore in Martinique.

He hasn't come back.

Wow.

Then I was the last one to see him.

Better make that a double.

Tomorrow, we stop at St. Thomas.

I wonder which one of us is going

to be the next to disappear.

[Music playing]

Janet, please don't go.

I-- I want to apologize.

What I did the other night was completely uncalled for.

An apology from Brian Mallory.

You see, my brother and i--

I never gave the slightest effort to that relationship,

either.

Somehow, other things were always too important.

Now, when it's too late, i--

I feel a sense of loss.

Perhaps I'm learning.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that whatever you decide,

I wish you well.

This is a photograph of Tom.

I took it from the ship's bulletin board.

Why?

To hurt you.

I wanted to get even, and preventing you from finding Tom

was the only way I had.

I hope the picture helps, Brian.

Thank you.

I'm just really sorry.

Announcer (over pa): Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the beautiful island of St. Thomas.

Our shopping tour will leave from the gangway in 15 minutes.

It's awfully pretty, isn't it?

Yeah.

I want to take it all in--

my last look.

Oh.

Well, does that mean that you decided?

That's right, Charlie.

This is my last trip.

After this, I'm all yours.

I'm happy, merrill.

[Festive music playing]

Gopher: Did you guys know that the city of Charlotte Amalie,

here in St. Thomas, was the home port in the Virgin Islands

for pirates like captain kidd and bluebeard?

Marvin: Oh, yeah?

Why do they call them the Virgin Islands?

Gopher: They were named by sir Francis Drake

after Elizabeth, the virgin queen.

Brian: I hope that locksmith in Martinique wasn't mistaken,

and that Tom did, indeed, make a rendezvous here

at bluebeard's castle.

Marcia: Thanks.

Ooh, bluebeard's castle, huh?

What a lovely place.

I wonder who Tom was meeting here.

Had to be some chick.

Cherchez la femme.

Hey, you guys, someone else has

been looking for Tom Mallory, and he is still

here, in the patio restaurant.

I say we go check him out.

You sure it wasn't some chick?

I'll bet you it's that little fat guy that's

been following us around.

Come on.

This is the guy who knows.

Will you lead us to him?

Thank you.

Lucius: Is that all right?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Lucius: Yes.

This guy here?

Thank you.

Pete!

Hey.

Pete, how'd you get here?

I had to catch a plane.

I stayed too long in case-pilote and missed the boat.

I sent a message this morning.

Brian: Have you discovered anything?

Yes.

Tom did meet someone here.

The waitress remembered.

A waitress.

I knew it had to be some chick.

Oh, wait a minute.

It's not--

so it was you, huh, gypsy?

Same old story-- young, innocent boy from a good family

blinded by the shapely charms of a tropical savage maiden.

Marvin!

Marvin.

Pete: Marvin.

[Clearing throat]

Well, here's the gentleman she told me to look

for-- the man who met Tom.

Father briorly, this is miss marcia rand.

How do you do?

That's Marvin Jones.

- Mr. Briorly. - Gopher Smith.

Padre.

And this is Mr. Brian Mallory.

You did see Tom?

Oh, my, yes.

On [inaudible] estate.

He wanted my assistance.

He joined the church.

Oh, yes, he's a serving brother.

Could you tell us where he is?

Well, he's gone on to Puerto Rico.

Could you tell us anything further?

Um.

Father briorly hasn't seen him since.

Really, i-- I must go.

But I just wanted to meet you to tell you

what a blessing young Tom is.

Well, thank you, father.

You certainly did.

- Well, goodbye, all. - Goodbye, father.

Thanks again.

Bye, father.

Well, at least it's a good start, huh?

I suppose we just go on to Puerto Rico.

Oh, father!

Father, are you going near the town?

Well, yes.

As a matter of fact, I am.

Would you mind terribly if I shared the taxicab with you?

It'd be a pleasure.

Oh, please.

Thank you.

Ok, Pete.

Something else is going on here.

Now, give.

Yeah.

Ok.

Father briorly did tell me exactly

where Tom is in Puerto Rico.

But I just don't want anybody else to know right now.

Well, excuse us.

You mean, except Mr. Mallory?

I mean especially Mr. Mallory.

Huh?

[Lounge music playing]

Hi.

Have you seen my dad?

No, Vicki.

I haven't seen him all day.

Me, neither.

He's been acting kind of funny all week.

Well, he's got a very big decision to make.

Decision?

What decision?

He hasn't told you?

Well, I don't think that I should.

Isaac, please.

He's been offered a big job out in New York.

And I think it's too good to pass up.

Maude, I've been looking all over for you.

Oh, really?

I'm surprised you found the time.

What's going on here?

You haven't talked to me all day today.

I saw you in the lobby, coming on to Julie.

I wasn't coming on.

I just kissed her on the cheek.

Oh.

Guess I didn't hang around long enough to see the rest.

Did she drag you down to her cabin?

Believe me, you've got Julie all wrong.

Roger, Julie is in love with you.

She was just being nice.

She is a nice girl.

Nice?

Well, if she's that nice, then why don't you spend

the rest of the trip with her?

Mau-- maude!

Can I have a bottle of scotch, please?

I won't need a glass, just a straw.

[Music playing]

Pete.

Oh, I.

I just wanted to tell you again

I'm glad you're all right.

Well, you can relax because old George is just fine.

I didn't mean just that.

I was worried about you--

all of you.

Thanks.

It was really nice of you to let me

hang around the whole cruise.

I-- I had a good time.

And, um, I'm also glad that part of you will always be with me,

you know?

Yeah, So am I. My brother's a lucky guy.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Um--

yes?

Pleasant dreams.

[Door closing]

[Sighing]

Beautiful evening, isn't it?

Last time I saw a moon that color,

it was our wedding night.

I can't believe my ears.

That's twice in one day.

This morning, you apologized to me,

and tonight, you remembered our wedding night.

What's happened to you, Brian?

Must be the tropics, perhaps too much sun.

You ought to try it more often.

What's the point?

It's a bit late, anyway.

Good night.

Um, hello?

Hello.

It's a beautiful night, isn't it?

Yes, I've heard.

He still loves you.

No.

No, I think it's over.

Well, your relationship with the old Brian is over.

But unless my intuition is wrong,

I think you kind of like that new fellow.

He is different.

Adam: And you've changed, too.

Give it a chance.

(Whispering) Adam.

Now, listen to your wise old doctor.

You're a lovely man.

Good night, and thank you.

Any time.

[Music playing]

[Knocking]

Mm-hmm?

Just a minute.

[Knocking]

Who is it?

Who is it?

Roger?

Roger, what are you doing here?

Maude threw me out.

The engagement is over--

finished--

[spitting noises]

--Kaput.

I'll never have a family.

I wanted to have children.

I wanted 10 of them, all boys.

I'll never have them now.

Sure you will.

She'll get over it.

No.

I've lost my last chance for marriage.

Oh that's not so.

There are plenty of girls that'd be thrilled to have you.

You're an attractive, exciting man.

Ah, come on.

Sure you are.

Do you really think so?

Absolutely.

Fabulous!

Roger.

What are you doing?

Roger, you can't stay here.

Roger.

Roger!

[Music playing]

Roger.

Hmm?

Roger, come on.

It's me, Julie.

Come on.

You've got to get out of here.

Julie?

[Laughing]

Well, you little devil.

Hi.

Ah, hi.

It's kind of early for you, isn't it?

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Sure.

So have you decided about us going to live in New York?

How'd you find out about that?

The same way you usually find out about me.

Hm.

Well, I'm pretty sure.

It seems like a good move--

I think.

Well, if you're not 100% sure, there's something

I'd like to say.

Ok.

Shoot.

I know you worry about me and my future.

But I want you to know I worry about you, too.

Vicki, I love you.

The way I see it, I'm not always going to be a kid.

Someday, I'm going to grow up and have to choose

the kind of life that I'd like.

But right now, you're the grown-up,

so it's more important that you choose the kind of life

that you'd like.

I hope I said that right.

You said it perfectly.

Gopher: Mr. Mallory, we'd like to make a deal with you.

We know where Tom is in Puerto Rico.

I see.

And you wish to sell this information for more

than the agreed amount, hmm?

No, not sell-- swap for a straight answer.

Why are you looking for Tom?

As I told you.

Straight.

Very well.

My brother was holding an extremely valuable

pendant-- a family heirloom.

It was supposed to be passed on to the eldest

surviving Mallory.

I knew he was in failing health, and I

hoped that by following young Tom, I would also find him.

I did-- but too late.

And he gave it to his son?

Yes, I'm sure it's in that box.

But why would he do that?

Spite, senility, whatever.

But I feel certain that when the situation is explained to Tom,

he will recognize my rightful claim.

And you weren't really interested in Tom

at all, just his legacy?

To be honest, yes, at first.

Where is he?

Ok.

We'll take you to him on one condition--

it'll be Tom's decision whether or not to return the pendant.

Agreed.

Hi.

Roger!

Roger, what are you doing here?

You can't stay here.

Oh, sure, I can. It's ok.

We're going to be married.

No, Roger.

I'm not going to marry you.

Listen, i-- I know that you're a very modern woman,

but we've got to think about the children.

Roger, about last night.

Listen, now, it's a little embarrassing.

I-- I'm not real clear on what happened last night.

But I know it had to be great.

Julie, it's you and me together through eternity.

[Chuckling]

No, Roger, no. [Knocking]

You don't--

here's the rest of your things.

I hope you're satisfied.

Satisfied?

Now that I've lost him?

Lost him?

Oh, you were too smart for me, right from the beginning.

You saw that I was yearning and burning,

clawing and pawing, desperate for him,

an animal crazed with lust.

You were right.

I vamped him shamelessly.

But still, he clung to you.

Now, last night was my final chance.

He'd been drinking.

I pulled him in here, locked the door.

But he fought like a tiger.

He scratched and bit.

Bit?

Bit.

He ran from me, saying he wasn't that kind of a boy.

I hit him with the lamp, threw him on the bed, tore off his--

well, then what?

Yeah.

Then what?

Nothing.

He just kept saying your name over and over--

maude, maude.

I stuffed a pillow in his mouth, and he still kept saying

it. (Muffled) Maude, maude!

I spent the night on the floor, alone.

And that's when I knew I'd lost him forever.

Yeah, but i--

the best woman won.

Sorry, Julie.

Some of us have it, and some of us don't.

Announcer (over pa): Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to Puerto Rico.

Passengers will be disembarking in 15 minutes.

[Seagulls crying]

Attention, all passengers leaving the ship here

in San Juan, please bring your customs declaration

to the carousel lounge.

Brian: You say you spoke to Tom.

Is he expecting us?

Pete: Yeah, that's right. He's all alone at the mission.

Brian: Perfect.

We can have a nice, long talk without any interruptions.

Lucien: Follow that blue Van--

but not too closely.

But whatever you do, don't lose it, understand?

Pete: Well, here we are-- the monastery

of the brothers of St. Stephen.

Brian: Certainly an imposing structure.

Pete: Yeah, it's part of the old fortress.

Marcia: Wow.

It's built even bigger than you, Dave.

Pete: I phoned Tom.

He said he'd leave the lower gate open.

He's waiting for us at the chapel.

Brian: Did you tell him about my request?

Pete: Yes, I did.

Marcia: I'm glad you're along, Kong.

You may have to carry me.

Dave: I'm just here to carry all the money

you'll get for doing this.

Pete: I guess it must be over here.

Lucien: Here.

This is it. All right.

Stop.

I'm getting out.

[Non-English].

Gopher: Hey, you guys, it looks like there's

a tunnel leading up.

[Gate clanging]

Oh, I've locked the gate, so we won't be disturbed.

Wonderful place, this, isn't it?

I know it well.

I've been over every inch of it many times.

What are you doing here?

The same as you--

to meet young Mallory and get a look at that trinket of his.

How do you know about that?

Your brother and I were partners in a few schemes.

He raved endlessly about the Mallory treasure,

but I was too late getting to it after he died.

The nephew got there first.

Well, better late than never, huh?

Marcia: Oh!

Now, if you don't mind.

Wait.

Dave!

I don't want anyone to get hurt.

I appreciate your help in leading me to it,

but don't push your luck.

Just stay put.

Mr. Mallory, we can't just let him get away with this.

He's right.

Come on, let's go.

We'll be ok.

Come on.

After you, brother.

Oh.

Is it locked?

Yeah.

Well, come on, Dave.

Use your muscles.

Break that thing.

[Grunting]

Uncle Brian?

No, I'm not your uncle.

But I've come for the same thing.

Look, could one of you guys give me a hand?

[Grunting]

Yeah!

Ah, the Mallory treasure.

I see you have taken good care of it.

Thank you.

Now, just stay calm.

No!

Come on, Pete. Let's get him.

Tom!

Are you all right?

Brian: Tom.

I'm gonna go get some help.

Tom, I'm Janet Mallory.

[Exciting music playing]

[Honking]

[Man shouting]

Aha!

Not so big without the gun, huh, tubby?

Gopher: Ah, now, if you don't mind.

All right.

I think we can call this case a closer.

Book him!

Gopher: Here you go, Tom.

Thank you.

This rightfully belongs to you.

[Gasping]

Janet: How beautiful.

What were you going to do with it, Tom?

Frankly, I was going to sell it and use

the money to build a clinic.

It's paradise here.

But even in paradise, there's the poor.

But I'll find another way.

We mallorys are persistent.

[Sighing]

You know, maybe I did get too much sun.

[Clearing throat]

It, um, was nice meeting you, nephew.

It's a privilege meeting you.

[Music playing]

Announcer (over pa): Attention all passengers leaving

for Los Angeles, airport transportation

is now available for boarding.

Hey, the passengers are leaving.

Come on.

Hey, that sure was a nice thing to do, donating the money

Mallory gave you to Tom's clinic.

When all the others did, I had no choice.

I mean, I was glad to do it.

It was my idea.

Heck, I'm all for charity.

You are?

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, boy.

You know, if I had kept that money,

I just would have blown it on chicks

and parties and wild times.

So it's-- it's much better this way that it's actually

going for a worthy cause.

Ah!

Oh.

Are you sure you won't reconsider?

I'm afraid not, Charlie.

I thought you were going to be my ally.

You let me down.

I'm sorry.

Well, she didn't let me down.

She's the one who saw it straight.

You know something, merrill?

I think maybe I tried to hire the wrong sailor.

Goodbye.

So long, Charlie.

Pete!

Good news.

What's that?

A cablegram from Blake.

He won't be needing a transplant anymore.

Hey, that's great news.

Did you hear that, George?

We've been rejected.

You'll need both, George.

Pete: What?

He's going to marry his nurse.

Well, you know, I've got the greatest idea I've ever had.

As long as you were engaged to part of me,

why not just take the whole thing?

You really mean it?

Yes.

Oh!

My turn to buy you a ring, as soon

as we get off the plane in la.

Of course, um, maybe you want to take

some time to think about it?

Oh, are you kidding?

I already cabled my uncle George.

He'll be waiting for us at the airport with a suitcase

full of samples.

Oh, yeah?

Well, thank you, Julie.

Don't take it too hard.

Oh, well, life must go on.

Roger's so crazy.

He decided we should get married right here in Puerto Rico.

He's just full of little surprises.

Oh, well, that ought to really be something

to tell your little boys.

What boys?

Didn't you tell her?

Uh, not yet.

Oh, maude.

I think you're in for a lot of little surprises.

Thank you for sailing with us.

Bye-bye, dear.

Dave, I've been thinking.

This really isn't going to work between us.

Huh?

Well, you really don't talk, and you don't read a lot,

and we really don't communicate on too many levels.

You know, all you do is just sit around and flex and lift.

I really think I need a more educated guy.

[Laughing disbelievingly]

Come on, marcia.

Oh, wait a minute.

I mean, granted, you are one gorgeous hunk of a guy,

you know what I mean?

And you have the most marvelous body.

And the physical end of our relationship is just--

it's really super.

But Dave-- Dave.

Maybe we could give this a few more weeks.

Yeah.

Hope you enjoyed your cruise.

Thank you.

Thanks for sailing with us.

Woman: Thank you.

Do you, um, want to say goodbye?

Thank you.

Uh, Mr. Mallory, excuse me.

I'd like for you to read this.

I wrote it while I was on the boat.

It's the blazing adventures of a Caribbean pirate.

I call it "the Mark of Marvin."

Yes, of course you do.

Hello.

Hello.

I hope he realizes how lucky he is.

But if he ever slides back, you know where to find me.

I'll never forget you, Adam.

You're very, very special.

Bye.

So how come I came in second?

Bye!

Goodbye!

Bye!

So long!

[Music playing]

Bye.

[Theme music]