Original subtitles

Come over here!

Have you got this on your sleeve?

No...no!

Then you can't use this toilet!

I'm sorry, Sir.

Let's got to the movies tonight.

Your mother too? Sure.

Can her father come along as well?

Of course.

Well, boss. How's your eye?

It hurts a bit.

Thieves are active at the United Dockyard.

I think they're inside jobs.

Go check them out.

I'll go right away.

Stand on the scale please.

I'm sorry.

Please.

110 kilos!

You surprised me!

You drank a lot of beer last night?

Yes, Sir.

Let's see how much your stomach can take.

I'll get you

and take you to the police.

Don't go...

Please...

What's happening? Lock the gate.

Captain. There's a crowd over there!

I'll handle them.

Please spare me. It was nothing personal.

Don't fight.

Thirteen

Twelve

Color blind. You can't tell red from yellow.

Officer.

Are you kidding? Color blind?

What color is this?

Red.

And this?

What color is this?

Yellow.

We need wise guys like you.

But you're four inches too short.

You dare to steal

in front of our cameras?

I was just playing.

Playing?

This is my wallet! How dare you?

Come to my office and I'll play with you.

He deserves to be locked up!

Come, I'll play with you.

Brother, give a chance.

The guards here are very efficient.

Really!

Go get changed.

Let go.

You can't catch all the thieves.

But if we put up this act once or twice a day,

they won't dare to steal in this place.

Right?

Told you not to hit me in the stomach.

I wanted to make it look realistic.

Want some medicinal oil?

You're the lieutenant.

Who else should demonstrate?

Why can't you be the thief?

Look at my rank! Look at my battle-scar.

Captain has suffered in the past.

4:30pm at Children's Wear. You'll be the thief.

No. Let him be the thief.

You don't change the clothes.

Let me help you.

No, I can manage.

How is it?

Do I look smart in this uniform?

Not too bad.

This uniform of yours cost me a fortune.

I'm glad you return to help your Dad.

When are you going to Switzerland?

Doctors say my eye needs treatment at once.

So I may go next week.

Doctors say my eye needs treatment at once.

You're right.

Let's go to the office now.

Wait.

I don't want to reveal my identity yet.

I'll observe them

for a week or two.

Don't tell them who I am.

You've learned a lot in four years.

What's going on? It's getting late!

Don't worry. They're never punctual.

- Good morning! - Good morning!

You're lovely.

Don't forget about our date tonight.

Go measure your height.

Too short! You need more exercise.

Okay. Come back tomorrow at 9am.

Thank you!

Next.

Here.

Okay. Go measure your height.

Next.

Bruce Tang! Are you Bruce Tang?

- Yes. - Come over here at once.

You should be a crook,

not a security guard.

But this is a job

for real men.

What do you mean?

Just take you as an example.

I can tell

from your scar you're brave.

And with the three stripes on your sleeve,

you look just like Bronson.

Bronson doesn't have a tummy like mine, does he?

But you walk just like him.

Really? Come back tomorrow at 9am.

Thanks...thank you!

Do you know how

Bronson walks?

Like a crab.

Where's the microphone?

What?

The microphone. Where's the loudspeaker?

What? We haven't got it

Then why are you

sitting so far away?

Today's lecture is on security systems.

This is an electric carpet with sensor.

Let's put it in front of the door.

Now we'll switch the carpet on.

Then we'll connect it

with an alarm.

Here are the positive...

and negative wires.

Nothing will happen if nobody steps on it.

But if someone puts a foot on the carpet...

Who told you to step on the carpet?

Where else should I step on?

Sit down!

Let's talk about fire precaution.

Smoke can kill in case of fire.

So we must put on this special helmet and suit.

We must also take a gas cylinder,

an axe and ropes.

When escaping a fire,

run down the stairs.

Go to the roof if the stairs are blocked.

You can breathe fresh air on the roof.

How can we escape from the roof?

By using a parachute.

A French physicist succeeded

in 1783

by becoming the first man to use a parachute.

The first man

to use parachute in five fighting

is a Chinese man, a former paratrooper.

His name is Chou Sai-cheong. This is me.

It's so lonely to be clever.

A clever man's words

often make the stupid ones roar with laugher.

Lieutenant! Demonstrate!

Make sure

there are no obstacles.

Then test the wind direction with a handkerchief.

Take a few steps sideways and test again.

Check again, then one...two...

What happens if there's a typhoon?

Have you read Around the World in 80 Days?

Ready, one, two, jump, three, pull.

You're safe.

Is this a great idea

or not?

It's great!

Then I want you to try it

Fine.

Tomorrow.

Don't worry.

They've got a net down there.

They'll catch you alright.

You sure it works?

Yes, theoretically.

Have you done this before?

No, but Captain said he'd done it.

Test the wind direction with your handkerchief.

I forgot to bring one.

Use your hair.

Well, what is it now?

It's blown away.

To which direction?

To my left!

So the wind is from your right.

Walk to your right!

I've run out of space!

We'll move left to catch you then.

Throw the dummy now.

Okay.

We're not far off target. Ready, one...two, jump!

Three, pull! Jump! Jump!

Don't wait!

Are you alright?

I'll probably fall to death

in case of fire.

Towering Inferno doesn't happen everyday.

Well, my uncle has never travelled by plane.

First time up the plane crashed and killed him.

How do we know if there's a fire?

The lights there

will tell us which floor's on fire.

You mean like this?

Yes, the 50th floor's on fire.

The 50th floor's on fire!

Let's run up the stairs.

Let's put on the suit.

No, we'll have a look first.

We'll get sacked if we don't put them on.

What is it? Are you alright?

I can't make it. I've got asthma.

Don't worry. Here's some oxygen.

How old is this cylinder.

1970

My goodness!

Let me give you a hand.

48 seconds. You're three seconds too slow.

It's a drill!

Our detectors

are sensitive.

Your cigar is enough to set it off.

Your exhibition will be safe.

Try it.

Fine.

Guarding the door is an

IBM 2003 computer.

It only reacts to a combination of code

and my voice.

I can do a good imitation of a horse.

The golden jade suit will be here and the silver jade suit there.

The suits will be monitored by two cameras.

The control room

will see everything.

Mr. Chou, would you like to try?

Try again. It's fun.

Fine.

Fun, isn't it?

Not even a fly can escape your detection.

Depends whether it's a male or female.

The race has begun.

Just watch me.

Won't it kill the horse?

No.

It'll be just like a bee sting.

Then we can't fail with our bet.

How come nothing happened?

I'll use bigger bullets

next time.

- There's no way we can lose then. - Sure..

We'll give you 40 hours of driving lessons.

35 hours indoor and

5 hours outdoor.

Lieutenant, take over.

Check your mirror, start the car.

Clutch, shift the gears, apply the brake.

Mirror, start the engine, clutch,

gears, and brakes.

Hand signal, accelerator, and clutch.

Right turn, clutch, gears, right turn,

and brakes!

What are you doing?

Just checking to see anybody got knocked down.

Once again! Mirror, engine,

clutch, gears, hand brakes.

Hand signal, clutch, gears, right turn,

brakes!

Good morning!

Watch closely. It'll be your turn next.

Okay.

Mirror, engine, clutch, hand brake, gears...

Watch where your hand is going!

I'm sorry. I was shifting gears.

Start the engine first.

The key has snapped.

The test is over.

Wait, I'll start the engine in no time.

Is he going to seek revenge?

I don't think so.

Hurry up! Come on!

What's the great rush!

Hurry up!

Hurry up!

Hurry up!

Come on...

Got you! The 13 Supremes!

You win again.

Play up!

I'm 90 percent doomed!

Make it 100 percent.

Lock the box to your hand

with a handcuff.

Because this is Government regulation.

He who forgets this will get the sack!

But robbers may chop my hand.

You can lock the box to your neck.

This is a Remington rifle.

This gun has great power.

You can never miss with this.

I can get 20 wild ducks with one shot.

At the amusement park?

We do not shoot to kill.

We only want to arrest him. So we shoot his toes.

Come and try it. You.

Ready, one...two, shoot!

Next!

It's not loaded.

You can hardly miss such a big target.

You! Ready, one...two, ready!

Now is the time for self-defense.

I used to play around with Bruce Lee and

Jackie Chan.

Play what? Poker?

A robber will grab your rifle during a hold up.

He threatens you with it. What do you do?

Lie down.

Wrong!

Kick him!

No. You should

stuff your finger in the barrel.

The bullet will go backward.

And it will throw the robber away!

Come and try it.

I believe every word you said.

You...

Ready, one...two...

Shut up!

Are you ready?

- Yes, I'm ready. - OK.

Come and try it. Hurry.

I've tried it before.

Do it or you're fired.

Come on! Put your finger in. Ready, one...two, shoot!

That's the end of me!

You're okay!

Okay?

It's fantastic!

You're fired if 'The Crab' sees you like this.

What if a robber chops my hand?

He'd attack the one with the rifle first.

That's better.

Let's go see Teresa Tang tonight.

I'm busy.

What's the matter?

Someone has switched on the alarm.

Which window is it?

Number seven.

I'll go and check. Be my date tonight.

What shall I do?

Watch your hand.

- A banana? - That's right.

Robbery!

Don't run!

Come give me a hand!

Knock him out with the box!

Go away. The rifle's pointing at you.

Don't chase me!

Don't chase me!

Go get him! Give chase!

Chase? Why don't you give chase too?

Calling headquarters! Headquarters come in!

Who are you calling? The switch is off!

Headquarters, do you read me? Headquarters...

Freeze! I'm going to shoot!

Stand there!

How did it happen?

Did a big fellow just come in?

I got you.

What happened to your face?

It's all because of that sex maniac.

The girl he raped

is only 10-year-old.

It was horrible. He's a beast.

Look at me, blood all over my body.

I just came from where blood was everywhere.

The girl is fighting for her life

in the hospital.

Same thing happened to my sister.

Look, my sister.

She was only 10-year-old.

She was also raped and later committed suicide.

God will not be kind to rapists.

He even took my trousers!

We'll check the next house.

Please hand him in

if you see him.

This is an old lady.

Yeah! Like I said my grandma committed suicide.

Wait.

Is he the rapist?

He's the one alright!

I want to make an announcement

right now.

I'm going to Switzerland

for an eye operation.

My son will be in charge here

from now on.

You all know my son though.

You don't realize it.

Let me introduce him to you now.

Ah Fan!

He studied security systems in England.

Hello!

I want to see you in my office.

I've watched you.

You're outdated by 15 years.

You're an apprentice from now on. I'll teach.

What? I'm the Captain,

not an apprentice.

You're demoted. Think about it.

You can resign if you don't like it.

The bullets you used last time were too big.

We'll use ice bullets next time.

So we won't

leave a trace?

What happened?

Lousy refrigerator! It won't happen again.

We're in with a chance on Saturday.

We'll be rich!

I can buy anything I want!

I can buy a plane and a yacht.

My every dream comes true.

I've been working here for 15 years.

I risked my life in the

Heng Seng Bank case.

And I almost died

during the

Po Shen Bank raid!

Look at the scar on my neck...

What a load of bull!

He's back!

My record with this company...

I know. If you work here for another month,

you'll qualify for a $50,000 gratuity pay.

But you won't get a penny if you quit now.

I've always worked hard for the company...

During the Hang Seng Bank raid

in 1970.

You're the coward as others risked their lives.

You fell and hurt yourself

in the Po Shen Bank raid

before a single shot was fired.

Right? You should learn from him.

Learn from who?

Him.

Him?

Me?

Am I really outdated

by 15 years?

Am I really old-fashioned?

Be honest with me. Tell me!

Come on! Tell the truth! Be honest!

Am I old-fashioned?

Be frank with me. Don't be afraid.

You're not only outdated,

you're disgusting.

You're lousy.

You didn't have to be that frank.

Where are we going to work tomorrow?

You'll be the thief at Shui Hing.

Give me the big one!

Give it to me.

I want to have some fun, too.

Look!

Go to look.

You dare to steal my wallet?

Susie. Leave him to me!

I was only kidding.

Do you know who I am?

No. Do you know who I am?

I have no idea at all.

That's good.

What's going on?

I handled him with just one hand!

Thanks...thanks.

Do you know where the toilet is?

You just wait and see.

Serves you right.

Three of the same kind!

Four of the same kind!

We're on duty at the yacht club tomorrow night.

With my arms like this?

You can still play mahjong.

Pick them up! Come on!

This game is null and void!

But I've just scored a triple!

Yeah, and I scored the quartet!

You can ask him.

I saw nothing.

Well?

Look.

Taipan Lau.

You look like a warlord!

You look good in your gown, too.

Very pretty! Let's go on board.

Let's go aboard!

A handicapped security guard?

This is only my costume.

Such poor manner!

Hurry. Swim ashore and pay up.

Ah Chun, hurry up!

I'm afraid. Are there sharks around?

Don't worry. There're no sharks here.

A song to celebrate the reunion of

Mr. and Mrs. Lau!

It's cold!

Makes me sick.

What are you doing? I saw you! Come out!

Give us a chance. We just swan here.

You'll get us in trouble.

Hold it! I'll go!

Go! Hurry up!

I have sympathy for these people.

Hong Kong

can't take any more people.

Go have a look over there.

I'm afraid.

We're hungry!

I can take you to a free world.

But I'm still hungry.

Have a drumstick.

Drumstick?

Of course. You're traveling first class.

Having a feast on your own?

Let your brother eat first.

Go get a spoon.

Got it.

Who are you? What are you doing here?

Who are these people?

What are you doing here?

Who are they? What's going on?

What's happening? What is it?

What are you doing to my microphone?

What's going on?

Taipan Lau, the...

The microphone fell to the floor.

That's right.

Right?

Right?

I think so.

Are you sure?

You have a date?

Who? You've got the wrong number.

Whose call was it?

Why so nervous? Expecting a call?

I'm not nervous.

You just burnt your trousers.

My only pair of trousers!

Don't forget about me if you got something cooking!

One for all and all for one!

Don't hide anything from us!

Ah Chun? Mahjong? Fine. See you tomorrow.

Here's the recipe for melon with assorted meats.

One of the main ingredients is ham.

To prepare the soup...

Bruce, what happened to your face?

Bruce is talented.

He was cooking when

oil burnt his face.

That's right.

I didn't know you're so talented.

I'm a better cook than most experts.

You're fantastic.

Well...so so.

Bruce! Bruce!

What is it?

Bruce!

There's a lizard in the cupboard.

They're alright. Let me see.

Lizard?

We used to make omelets with them.

They taste great with garlic and onion.

How many eggs have you got?

A dozen or so.

May not be enough to make an omelet.

Not enough?

What's wrong with you?

I'll take a look.

You said you had a dozen or so eggs.

That's right.

That's not enough.

Or course that's not enough.

Are you afraid of a little lizard?

I'll go.

That's good.

There, have a one feet.

It's dead. You want to see it?

No, thanks.

Not enough to make scramble eggs.

Not this one. You've got the wrong cupboard.

That one is big enough to make an omelet.

More or less.

How is it?

It's gone. Let's forget it.

I don't want to go near that cupboard.

You'd be the cook. Let Ah Chun play mahjong.

Then I...

You're a better cook than most experts.

No, I...

You said you're a talented cook.

Come on,

show us what you can do.

Don't forget scrambled eggs.

Don't forget the ginger, garlic, and onion.

Just follow the instructions.

Remember, fried sausage, then scrambled eggs.

Don't be afraid to add more salt.

It's Ah Chun's turn.

First, slice the melon into halves.

The size of the melon varies accordingly.

Try to make the melon look

nicer by cutting its edge.

It may increase one's appetite.

Soak two abalones in water.

Shred them and

put them in the melon, too.

So the melon with assorted meats is done!

Now steam the melon for five hours.

This is the end of the program.

Next week we'll give you...

This melon looks cute.

I'll give you a hand.

Come, make yourself home!

What's the matter?

I thought you're going to make an omelet with it.

Is this a joke?

Come in.

What's the assignment, sir?

I want to send some men to the funeral parlor.

Who died?

Li Wen-cheong.

The millionaire

who eats ginseng for lunch?

That's right.

Why should we guard his body?

He has two platinum kidneys.

They are worth

2 million US dollars.

His wife fears someone might steal them.

Let's go.

You two stay here. I'd be outside.

It's freezing cold in here. Let's go outside.

You assume all responsibilities?

You asked for it.

Suit yourself.

Let's take a break.

He's frozen stiff.

He won't hurt you.

I'm not scared.

I'll go for a leak.

Me, too.

You lazy bum.

So are you.

You want to use this?

Of course.

I'm a butcher by trade.

Are you ready?

Sure.

You can't eat them all.

You scared me.

Why do you look so pale?

I'm dying to take leak. It's my turn.

Have a grape.

I thought we shouldn't eat while on duty.

Now that you're a lieutenant,

you can eat anything you want.

Over here!

How are you getting on? They've discovered our plot.

What do you think we're doing here?

It's frozen stiff. I can't get through.

Stop them. Stall them.

I...

I what? Go!

Where's the body?

Where do you think you're going?

Watch him.

Don't let him escape.

Thank you!

I'll take this to the safety box.

Okay.

Calm down! Calm down!

Be careful.

It's nothing personal.

Of course it's nothing personal.

I've got a family.

So have I.

I've got a wife and three children.

I've got three wives and a child.

Let's put them down.

Fine, let's put them down. One...two...

You just watch it! Be careful

Be careful!

- You too! - Calm down!

Okay, let's put them down again!

One...two...three...

I'm going now. Be careful.

You too.

Go! Go!

Where is she? It's 1 am! Hello, madam!

She swam all the way to this place.

She won't want to marry a poor security guard.

Forget it! Have a drink.

I don't want it.

You better have a drink.

Open up! Open up!

Go away!

Rich? You know how much money I got?

I've got none.

Bruce! Bruce! Are you alright?

Don't be like that, Bruce!

Please calm down.

Is he crazy?

No guest is allowed

after midnight.

You're kidding.

You've spoiled everything.

Alright, forget it!

- He's only carrying out his duty. - Get out.

Tell her to go!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

He was only carrying out his duty.

There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry.

Go. What are you doing here?

Mom wants $50,000 to repay a debt.

I told you not to get serious with her.

You better be practical.

Practical? I want a wife, not a washing machine.

A wife and a washing machine are about the same.

A wife is better, saves electricity.

May I?

Thank you, thank you so much.

I think, you look...

Goodbye!

Freeze! Or you're dead!

Open the door, you horny guy.

Don't move! Give me your rifle!

Give me your rifle! You heard me?

Hurry up! Hurry...

Freeze! Give me your money box!

At a count of three! One...two...

Hurry!

You heard me? Give it!

Three!

Don't run!

The robbers have fled. And $50,000 is missing.

If I find out who did it,

I'll strangle him myself.

Your mother looks happy tonight.

Of course, you gave her all that money.

Where did you get the money from?

My grandma saved it for my wedding.

Wedding? You took our money for your wedding?

Don't move. Come with us.

Your grandma wants to talk to you.

You've got our money for your wedding.

Now you must help us to get the jade suits.

A fair exchange, isn't it?

No way!

When your colleagues

are not looking,

just remove those detectors

for five minutes.

No way!

You're involving my colleagues.

Well, it will not be the first time.

No way!

No way?

Your hemorrhoid getting worse?

Yes.

Why did they only take $50,000?

I was chasing him. When did he take the money?

The box fell to the ground after he hit me.

That's right.

I don't think all the money fell out.

- Quinella for one and four. - 50th floor.

Another quinella for five and ten. How much?

Light's up. Let's check the 50th floor.

You stay here. Let's go

Four! Four armed thugs!

You take the man on the right and I take the rest.

Hey! Give me a hand!

Let's move!

You take the man on the right and I take the rest.

What? I'm the Captain. Give me the sword.

It doesn't matter who's the Captain now.

- Give it to me. - Does it matter?

Don't move! We've got guns!

We've got a dozen men here. We all have guns.

Load your guns but don't shoot

until I say so.

135, 246! You two over here!

Yes Sir.

Set the Alsatians free!

Yes Sir..

What are the cavalry doing here?

Retreat!

789, Over here! Quick!

Fall in! One, two, three, four, five, six...

Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve!

Let the Alsatians guard the doors.

I want them all. Set them free!

Yes Sir.

Lay down your arms and surrender!

We're coming in!

Come out from your hidings!

We'll get you!

We've got thousands in reserve!

We're coming in!

Those with axes over there!

Those with swords over here!

Hurry! Hurry!

What's the song?

Big Boss! I know!

Wrong one!

Big Boss! I know!

Don't be a thief if you don't know how to sing!

I know! It must be the 'Happy Birthday' song.

Try it!

Get in through the air duct!

What's wrong with him? Set off the alarm!

Set off the alarm!

Maybe he's one of them!

He maybe the one who stole the $50,000!

Set off the alarm!

What shall we do?

Come!

We're doomed

if these ice bullets fail.

They must be hiding up there!

Made in Hong Kong 3,000 years ago?

He may have bought it here

3,000 years ago.

Don't be a thief if you don't know hiistory.

Hold it! Hold it right there! You alright?

I hurt my neck! It turned stiff!

You're only an employee. Why fight so hard?

Take the suits off!

I'll let you go.

We'll forget we've seen each other.

Attack their faces! Don't damage the suit!

I've lost my voice.

What did you say?

I said I lost my voice!

Over here! Come on!

We'll have to use your last resort!

What is that?

The parachutes!

Are you kidding?

Give me your handkerchief!

What for?

To test the wind direction, what else?

I forgot to bring one.

It's so gusty, we'll end up in China.

You think so?

Haven't you done it before?

No...

Not in such gusty condition?

I've never used a parachute before.

But you said you were a paratrooper!

I washed dishes for paratrooper!

Let's climb up there!

- Bruce! - Are you alright?

I'm fine.

You waiting for the police?

What are you doing?

They're coming down!

One and eight are leading. We're rich!

Number seven is coming up!

Give me an ice bullet!

We're going to fly to over Kowloon.

Yes, do you have ID cards?

No, I have my license.

Hey! Number two is coming up!

I'll shoot any challenger!

Looks like Anthony. What do you think?

You're right.

It's not the first time.

Move over of we'll die together!

The one underneath will die first!

One and eight are winning by a mile.

We're rich!

Don't stand on my shoulders!

It's windy!

It's down the straight with

one and eight still ahead.

One and eight will win for sure.

Their backers can go pick up their winnings.

Hey! It's the Shatin Race course.

We're going to be trampled by horses!

Oh no!

You'll get your money back since the protest sign exploded.

There goes my fortune.

Are you alright?

I'm fine!

Let's go! Stop waving at people.

Have you been cheered at by so many people?

- Let go. - Thanks!

Bruce! Are you alright?

Are you hurt?

I'm fine. See you later.

I want to thank our two heroes today.

I also want to present

Captain Chou with a check.

$50,000 of gratuity pay!

Captain Chou will stay here as our teacher.

Let's all learn from Captain Chou.

From self-defense to parachuting,

he is still the expert.

Go!

Come on!

I know.

But what about the missing $50,000?

You can deduct it from his salary.

His salary? Do you know how long it will take?

More or less fifteen years.

$50,000 is a lot in the old days.

But it can't buy much now.

I'll give it up for him.

There goes my fifteen years.

What are you looking at?

How many stripes have you got?

Captain Chou!

- Congratulations! - Thanks!

Thanks!

Get in!

Don't overdo anything!

Bridegroom take care!

- Take care! - Drive carefully.

How can I ever repay my debt to you?

Your debt to her will take a lifetime.

Mine will take is years.

Slow down! You don't have a license!

Let you play.

I know.

Mirror, engine, clutch...

Gears, hand brake, goodbye!

- Goodbye!... - Goodbye.

Boss!

About my theories on self defense,

parachuting, and others...

I want to publish a book on it.

Shall I use my name

or the company's name?

Oh my God!

Oh dear!

What's wrong with you? You got a license?

Do you know how to drive?

You better use your own name.