Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

[ Square-dance music playing ]

♪ Now bow to your partners ♪

♪ come on, let's all join up hands ♪

♪ circle left around the hall ♪

♪ circle left all the way 'round until you're home ♪

♪ when you're home, swing and twirl ♪

♪ go 'round and 'round with a pretty little girl ♪

♪ head ladies chain across the hall ♪

♪ turn 'em on around ♪

♪ side two ladies chain ♪

♪ turn that gal with an arm around ♪

♪ join up hands and circle left ♪

♪ allemande left with an ol' left hand ♪

♪ partners right, and right and left grand ♪

♪ promenade ♪

♪ now bow to your partners ♪

♪ come on, let's all join up hands ♪

♪ circle left around the hall ♪

♪ circle left all the way around until you're home ♪

♪ when you're home, swing and twirl ♪

♪ go 'round and 'round with a pretty little girl ♪

♪ head ladies chain across the hall ♪

♪ turn 'em on around ♪

♪ ladies chain ♪

♪ turn that gal with an arm around ♪

♪ join up hands and circle left ♪

♪ allemande left with the ol' left hand ♪

♪ partners right, and right and left grand ♪

♪ promenade ♪

That's all, folks!

[ Crowd cheers ]

Oh! [ Laughs ]

[ Sighs ]

Oh, you almost missed him.

Did you see kitty?

No.

[ Chuckles ]

Believe me, the view from this cabin

is the best on the ship.

You are gonna love this.

Don't bother with the lights. [ Chuckles ]

♪♪

Hey, Adrian! Adrian, wait!

[ All shouting ]

[ Capt. Stubing clears throat ]

Did you just hear something familiar?

I'd recognize it anywhere.

How could you possibly be that stupid?

Me?! I'm stupid?!

Who forgot to lock the door?!

I told you I wanted that room for backgammon.

Sure. Backgammon. Right.

Gentlemen...

I think we have a little misunderstanding here.

Oh, I can explain --

that's very similar --

this is my cabin, not the Dixie motel!

So...

From now on, there will be no more carousing,

there will be no more incense, and no more sloppiness.

Listen -- don't worry.

The captain won't mind if I show you his cabin.

And no more disco at 6:00 A.M.!

On the other hand, I'll see you tomorrow.

[ Whining ]

Uh, ladies and gentlemen, it's a real pleasure for me to

introduce tonight's feature entertainment.

He's a new talent, and I'm sure

you're all going to be hearing a lot more from him.

So please welcome Danny fields.

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Up-tempo introduction plays ]

♪ Ow, 737 comin' out of the sky ♪

♪ won't you take me down to Memphis on a midnight ride ♪

♪ I wanna move ♪

♪ playin' in a travelin' band, ooh, yeah ♪

♪ well, I'm flyin' 'cross the land ♪

♪ tryin' to get a hand ♪

♪ playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ take me to the hotel, baggage gone -- oh, well ♪

♪ come on, come on, won't you take me to my room ♪

♪ I wanna move ♪

♪ playin' in a travelin' band, ooh, yeah ♪

♪ well, I'm flyin' 'cross the land ♪

♪ tryin' to get a hand ♪

♪ playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ oh, playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ well, aren't you gonna throw me a hand? ♪

[ Women scream ]

♪ Playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ well, I'm flyin' 'cross the land ♪

♪ tryin' to get a hand ♪

♪ playin' in a travelin' band ♪

Let's go now!

[ Crowd cheers ]

♪ I listen to the radio talkin' 'bout the last show ♪

♪ someone got excited, had to call the state militia ♪

♪ wanna move ♪

♪ playin' in a travelin' band, ooh, yeah ♪

♪ well, I'm flyin' 'cross the land ♪

♪ tryin' to get a hand ♪

♪ playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ aren't you gonna tell me I am? ♪

♪ I'm playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ well, I'm flyin' 'cross the land ♪

♪ tryin' to get a hand ♪

♪ playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ I'm playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ I'm playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ aren't you gonna tell me I am? ♪

♪ Playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ well, I'm flyin' 'cross the land ♪

♪ tryin' to get a hand ♪

♪ playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ o-o-o-o-o-h ♪

♪ I'm playin' in a travelin' band ♪

♪ a-a-a-hoo hoo-hoo hoo-hoo hoo-hoo! ♪

[ Crowd cheers ]

Hey, Danny, you sang wonderful!

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Danny, you were great!

Thank you, Julie. Thank you.

Hey, where's, uh, where's Steve serrell?

What did he say? Did he like me?

Oh, I'm sorry, but he left before the show for some reason.

He -- he didn't see it?

No. Sorry.

[ Sighs ]

Probably one too many square dances!

Danny!

Excuse me.

Well, he seemed kind of upset, Floyd.

I think you ought to talk to him.

He don't want to talk to us no more, Emmy.

Can't you see that?

Danny, so, he didn't see you tonight.

He'll see you tomorrow night.

No, he won't.

He probably thinks that I'm a hick, too.

Well, I sure hope you're proud of yourself,

Mr. Danny fields.

Your mom and papa's two of the finest folks

that ever walked,

and you got no call to go hurtin' 'em

the way you been doin'.

They love you more than anybody in the whole world ever will.

Why, I just can't understand, so help me.

Excuse me, ma'am.

I believe I need a change of scenery.

The Scofields are your family.

You don't understand, do you, Julie?

I just didn't want to blow my big chance.

I was wrong when I said

that you had everything it takes for success.

You lack the most important part, Danny.

In show business, I believe they call it "ticker."

[ Snoring ]

Mmm.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

Whoa!

Ow!

[ Both shouting ]

Where?! What is it?! Huh? What is it?!

Captain merrill...

Could you please hold it down?

Lack of sleep could stunt my growth, you know.

What's goin' on? What are you doing in my bed? Get out of there.

Explain this, Mr. Smith. Explain it!

"The love boat" will continue in a moment.

Gopher: Good morning and welcome to mazatlán.

Land tours will be leaving in 10 minutes

from the coral deck gangway.

We hope you enjoy your day.

[ Footsteps ]

Danny?

Danny, I've been looking high and low for you.

Hi, sis.

I'm just gonna burst!

I have met the most wonderful man.

No one has ever made me feel like this before.

Why, he's been everywhere in the world,

and he's gonna show it all to me.

Oh, that's great. Good for you.

That's mostly what I think -- good for me.

And then I get to wonderin'. I mean, is it good for me?

It would make my life different

from everything I thought it was gonna be.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Just don't make my mistake.

You see, I'm different from anything I thought I'd ever be.

And I'm not proud of it.

Oh, I don't understand that, Danny. You're just --

I am a swellheaded jerk who's throwing away

the most precious thing that a person can have --

the love and...Caring of his family.

Oh, Danny, I've never felt like that.

Kitty...

If you really love this guy, you'll know what to do.

You'll go out there,

and you'll change your life if you have to.

But just don't change all the good things that you are.

Don't make my mistake.

Howdy, Floyd and daughter.

Grandpa, miss vernie.

Howdy.

Why, them two look lower than spats on a centipede.

Yeah, I know.

It's the younguns.

You know, Danny's been a-treatin' the whole family

like we were something the cat drug in,

and kitty was out all hours of the night,

and I don't believe she was with Elmer.

I just can't figure it out.

You know, you spend your whole life

tryin' to teach your younguns the things you believe in,

and then after all's said and done,

you find out you just been wastin' your breath.

Oh, you ain't wastin' your breath, Luke.

That good, solid foundation you give them

is gonna go with them wherever they go in the world.

Nobody can take away their basic values.

Nobody can do that to them.

And they'll have you to thank for it.

Thank you for sayin' that, miss vernie.

You know...

Somehow or other, you don't sound so Miller crossin'

all of a sudden.

Luke, I'm not from Miller crossing.

I'm from Los Angeles.

I'm a writer.

You see, I wanted to write a book about you and your family.

Well, I still think it would be a great idea,

only now I'm not so sure --

well, this is very hard to explain.

Well, I may be just a big, old, dumb country kid,

but I think I got it figured out.

Why don't you just write all that stuff

about our country ways?

Don't forget the part about our family troubles, neither.

Them city slickers

will get a heck of a belly laugh outta that.

Oh, no, Luke -- Luke, you don't understand!

Luke...

Hello.

Oh, hello.

So, you got away.

Yeah, she's playing bingo.

She's playing bingo, and I got the prize.

I love you.

I love you.

And I'm so lucky --

Dave!

Oh, uh, uh...

Dave, it was just one of those nutty things.

Dave, nothing's happened.

Honest -- nothing. It was...Just a kiss.

Oh, frank, please let me talk to him.

Sure.

Hey, Dave?

Please don't tell Mara.

Huh? Okay? What do you say?

He won't say anything.

Will you, Dave?

Honey, I...

I didn't mean for you to find out like this.

Yeah.

I love him...

And I have for a long time.

Then I guess you should be with him, then.

I'll give you a divorce if that's what you want.

No sweat.

Dave...

♪♪

I'm not gonna let some city slicker

take advantage of my daughter.

Well, kitty's got a good head on her shoulders.

I reckon she's doing what she figures is -- is right.

Pa?

Well, I'm not gonna just sit around

like a toad on a tree stump and see my daughter shamed.

Pa, I gotta talk to you a second.

I'm gonna have a talk with that Steve serrell feller.

Steve? Wait a minute. What are you talkin' about?

This is a family matter, boy.

You wouldn't be interested.

Come along, Emmy.

♪♪

You snore like an ox in labor.

Bathroom hogger.

Toothpaste scruncher.

Incense burner.

Door unlocker!

Pajama-feet wearer!

Disco lover!

Disco lover!

Stick it in your krelman.

What's a krelman?

Who knows?

It's not that I don't care for you.

It's just...

I don't think you and me are right for each other anymore.

You think this fella Steve is what's right for you?

I've got to grow, Elmer.

There's so much I've been missin',

and Steve can show me.

And you figure just 'cause you've been missing something,

it's got to be better than what you got?

Seems to me like you're just chasin' a dream.

[ Sighs ]

Oh, Elmer, you'll just never understand.

I guess not.

I guess if, uh, I can't make you happy...

You got a right to look somewhere else.

But I ain't gonna stop lovin' you.

♪♪

Uh, Mr. Serrell...

Yes?

My daughter is kitty Scofield.

I understand you and her have been keepin' company.

Well, that's, uh, that's true, Mr. Scofield.

I'd like to know your intentions.

Well, do you intend to marry her or not?

Well, forgive me for saying so,

but, uh, I think that's between kitty and me.

Hey, doc, where's gopher?

Is overboard too much to hope for?

What is it with you guys?

Why does everybody hate each other all of a sudden?

Oh, not hate, just carefully cultivated loathing.

Oh, well, why don't you and your roommates

get together with Danny fields?

You can all form a stupidity club.

My roommates couldn't pass the entrance exam.

Julie, I don't know if I'm ready for life in the fast Lane.

[ Laughs ]

He's not gonna tell Mara, is he?

I don't think so.

It's better that you told her, anyway.

Thanks a bunch.

Frank, we can be together.

Dave's going to give me a divorce.

You want that?

W-Well, don't you?

Cynthia, divorce can eat you up alive.

I don't make enough money to get a divorce.

Look, you don't have to get a divorce.

Well, I-I don't think I have much choice now.

Maybe you can talk to Dave, patch things up.

I-I don't get it.

Look, we'll stay away from each other for a while --

I mean, while you and Dave get it together --

and then...

And then we can... Start all over.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

I don't think that's possible.

Why not?

I mean, we love each other.

Frank, that may be what you call love,

but I've got a different dictionary.

Good afternoon, Ms. Wasser.

Good afternoon, captain.

I noticed you're not working today.

Did you, uh, get everything you wanted to get

from Mr. Scofield?

I'm not sure just what I want, captain.

Have you ever been attracted to someone

that you knew could never fit into your life?

Yes...i have.

Someone very special.

And what happened?

It didn't work out.

But I tried.

And if I had to do it over again,

the only thing I'd do differently is try harder.

Even if you knew it was hopeless?

There's nothing hopeless about finding someone special.

Some people search their entire lives and never do.

It's only hopeless if you walk away.

[ Laughing ]

This ship's a real Jim-dandy.

I'll get you one.

What?

For a wedding present.

Your father came to see me today.

He never...

He wanted to know if I was going to marry you or not.

Oh? What'd you tell him?

Well, I didn't tell him anything.

I wanted to ask you first.

Well...ask me.

I'm asking.

I'm answering.

[ Telephone rings ]

Well, what do you want?

I want a word with you.

Ain't you done enough snoopin' already?

Look, I'm sorry.

But I was afraid if I was honest, you wouldn't talk to me.

And you was right.

Hey!

Why is it you distrust anyone

who wasn't born in the same county you were?

Because they always turn out to be exactly like you --

phonier than a $3 bill!

Are you tryin' to keep me prisoner?

Yes.

Luke, I'm not going to write about you or your family.

This time we've spent together has been very special to me.

I can't ever remember meeting anyone sweeter or nicer, and --

well, what I'm trying to say is I think you're great.

You're also a pigheaded old goat --

stubborn enough to make a mule look cooperative!

She sure has got a way with words.

I'll get dressed and meet you for dinner.

Great.

[ Sighs ]

Gopher: That's my hat!

Doc: I see that now. It was made for a pinhead.

♪ Get down, a-get down ♪

♪ do it till your skin is peelin' ♪

♪ do it till you're on the ceiling ♪

♪ get down, a-get down ♪

♪ get down... ♪

Where are Dave and Cynthia?

I don't know. I haven't seen them for hours.

What happened? Dave find out about you two?

What?

No more games, frank.

Aw, hell.

It's okay. I know.

Don't get upset.

Just take it like a man.

Mara, honest...

There's the word.

I've known for a long time.

How many have there been over the years, frank?

10, 12, 30?

Are you kidding? What do you think I am?

I know exactly what you are.

Aw, damn.

I don't doubt you love me, in your way.

I've always been that safe haven.

I wash your socks, clean your house, keep things going.

You do a lot more than that.

In a way, I've been just as guilty.

I let things go because you put food on the table

and I have nice dresses.

Only thing I've missed is a relationship.

But we've had a relationship.

Not the kind a girl dreams about --

not this girl, anyway.

Frank, I think there's something out there for me

that's bound to be better.

I think we should call it a day.

I'm going to my cabin now.

Don't come back for a while, okay?

♪♪

[ Slow dance music playing ]

Have you told your folks yet?

No. I want it to be our secret for just a little longer.

Once ma and the others hear the news,

why, they'll be plannin' and doin' for us and --

well, they'll probably be invitin' half of Cox county

to the nuptials.

You ain't seen nothin' till you've seen a country wedding.

Honey...

I just don't think that's going to be possible.

I mean, I gotta be in Paris in a week.

We'll be lucky to get five minutes in front of a judge.

But...

Kitty, I know how much your family means to you.

But we're going to be living out of a suitcase,

hopping planes.

You'd better not count on seeing too much of them from now on.

Oh, honey, come on.

It's okay.

We'll work it out. We will.

Yeah. Come on.

Where's your pride?

That boy's done made it clear

that he don't want to be a part of our family.

Pa's right. I don't know what we're doing here.

We're here 'cause I'm gonna hear my son sing.

Ha. Don't make no sense to me.

Me neither.

-I ain't a-gonna listen. -Me neither.

Just hush up now.

[ Applause ]

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Danny fields.

Hold it a second. Hold it.

What's the matter, kitty?

I just didn't think --

I mean, I didn't realize it was gonna be like this.

What'd you do to my sister?

Your sister?

Yes.

Is everybody aboard this ship related to you?

You come here. I want to talk to you.

Oh, Danny!

Get up! Get up! I want to talk to you!

Nobody hurts my sister!

Hey, Danny, don't fly off the handle!

I'll show you a handle

if you've been stringing my sister along!

Steve: Okay, well, if that's the way you want it, fine!

Hit it!

Uh, and now, for your listening pleasure, we have our band,

so...and some music.

So, um...Dance...Please.

Danny, don't fly off the handle.

I'll show you a handle

if you've been stringing my sister along!

Well, okay, if that's the way you want it.

Yeah!

I'd think twice 'fore I tried that, buster.

Hold on, grandpa!

Now, stop it! Stop it this minute.

He wants to marry me.

It's me that... Doesn't wanna marry him.

I'm, uh...

I-I'm really sorry, Mr. Serrell. I...

Us too. Uh...

Please leave us alone.

Come on, grandpa.

I can't just change my whole life in a couple of days.

I'd die of loneliness without those people.

I know.

I've been pretendin' this boat's the real world,

but it ain't.

It's just as make-believe as the county fair.

The fair shuts down, and... You go home.

You don't try to live there.

You're right.

I know you're right, but...

I'm sure gonna miss you.

I've sure made a mess out of this whole trip.

Why should tonight be the exception, right?

Well, your heart was in the right place, boy.

You're thinkin' like a Scofield.

Yeah, I guess I was, wasn't I?

Hey, I gotta get back to work, okay?

[ Disco music playing ]

Hold it a second, guys.

Ladies and gentlemen, uh...

I'm sorry for that, uh, interruption.

You know, they say that the show must go on,

but there are some things in this life

that are more important than a show.

And I've known that all my life,

but I guess I just had to be reminded of it.

The most important people in this world to me

are here tonight --

people I care for, and I sure do love them a lot.

I'd like for you to meet them.

Ladies and gentlemen, my wonderful family.

Um...I'd like to do a song for you right now.

It's a song my mama loves.

It's a simple song, but I think you'll all like it.

Hit it, guys.

[ Introduction plays ]

♪ Country roads, take me home ♪

♪ to the place I belong ♪

♪ West Virginia mountain mama ♪

♪ take me home, my country roads ♪

♪ almost heaven, West Virginia ♪

♪ blue Ridge mountains, shenandoah river ♪

♪ life is old there, older than the sea ♪

♪ higher than the mountains, blowin' like a breeze ♪

♪ country roads, take me home ♪

♪ to the place I belong ♪

♪ West Virginia mountain mama ♪

♪ take me home, my country roads ♪

♪ country roads, take me home ♪

♪ to the place I belong ♪

♪ West Virginia mountain mama ♪

♪ take me home, my country roads ♪

♪ take me home, my country roads ♪

Yee-hoo!

Uh, sure is some kind of a moon up there tonight.

Yes, it is.

I, uh... Don't suppose that...

You'd care to go strollin' under it

with an old, sour apple like me, would ya?

Well, if you're sure it wouldn't go against your grain.

Well, now, my grain just happens to be

plumb tied in a knot over you.

I don't know.

Uh...i ain't your kind, and you ain't my kind.

I just don't understand it.

Well, Luke, neither do I.

But, heck, what have we got to lose

walking in the moonlight, huh?

Danged if I know! [ Laughs ]

Oh, excuse me one second. Excuse me.

Uh, Mr. Serrell...

Steve, I, uh...

Want to apologize for what I did.

Oh, that's not necessary.

I mean, I feel the same way about her as you do.

I'd just...Kill anybody that tried to harm her.

Hey, you sounded pretty good up there.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah.

You're gonna be a big star.

Oh, thanks.

I wish I could use you,

but we got all the country singers we can use right now.

Good luck.

"The love boat" will continue in a moment.

[ Sniffling ]

Surprised to see you alone.

The world is filled with surprises.

Trouble in paradise?

Yep.

Oh, I see.

Dave, what am I going to do?

Well, frankly, I don't know.

If you'd asked me that question this morning --

what you were going to do at any point during the day --

I probably could've told you.

Hard finding out that...

Nothing's for sure, is it?

[ Sniffling ]

I don't know what to do.

I don't know where to go.

I just have a lot of thinking to do.

You want to think at home?

I don't deserve it, Dave.

And I don't deserve you.

Just come on home.

Think about what you want to do.

Then we can decide what we want to do.

Oh, Dave.

[ Sighs ]

We'll be back in L.A. in another 30 minutes.

Too much happened to fix in half an hour.

Mara, I'm sorry.

Me too.

Won't you let me make it up to you?

Remember what I said

about there being something more out there for me?

Well, I think there's something more out there for you, too.

I hope we both find it.

You were a big hit here this week.

Oh, thanks, Julie.

Hey, I really appreciate everything you've done for me.

-Yeah. -I really do.

I'm sorry you didn't get your big break.

Oh...i got something more important.

Hey, I'll see you. Thanks a lot.

Okay.

Ma!

Oh, Danny. Oh, well. Goodbye, honey.

Pa.

-I'm proud of you, son. -Now, don't be a stranger.

-I won't. I won't. -Be sure to write, now.

Oh, and remember, next time you-all are down around cater's corner,

you just give us a hoot, you hear?

You'll be the first one we call.

We sure would appreciate that. I just had the best...

Bye, guys.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Listen, I'll drop you a line from time to time

from wherever I am.

That'll be nice.

I'll never forget you.

Me neither.

Ms. Wasser, I was wondering -- uh, if you ever need

a ship's captain character for one of your books,

I'd be very happy to cooperate.

Well, thank you, captain. That's very generous of you.

But I think I have all the characters I need for now.

Besides, Luke here has decided

he'd like to be between the covers --

of a book, that is.

Haven't you, Luke?

I'm gonna be the main feller. Ain't that right?

You ain't just whistlin' up a holler, Luke.

-Goodbye, captain. -Goodbye.

She sure has got a way with words, ain't she?

What a family. Where exactly are they from?

Oh, doc, isn't that obvious? Brooklyn.

There's a dance next week at the grange at oak mills.

If you feel like goin', maybe I could take you.

That might be nice.

It ain't gonna be nothin' fancy.

I know, Elmer.

Just...folks, like always.

Elmer...i ain't gonna lie

and say that Steve serrell didn't mean nothin' to me.

It's gonna take me a while

to get my feet back on the ground.

But I'm not gonna be like Scarlett O'Hara

and live on this forever.

I'll come around sooner or later.

I'll be waitin'.

I'm glad.

Oh, kitty. I'll see you.

I did have a good time, finally.

-Elmer, take care, buddy. -God bless ya.

Take care, and you have fun.

Mara?

Mara, I'm -- I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to...

To hurt me?

Nobody ever means to hurt anybody.

But we all ended up in tatters just the same.

Well, see you around the pool.

Captain merrill!

Doc! Julie! Isaac! Gopher!

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

Your cabin's 2 inches deep in water.

The sprinkler system went off again.

Oh, no.

Well...at least I got my cabin back, all dry and nice

and comfy with my own bathroom and everything.

So if you need a place to stay for a couple of days...

Thank you, gopher.

...i know this great motel not too far from here --

really great water beds and everything.

Sir...

Uh...sir, wait. Don't -- don't -- don't do this.

Never kill a crew member, sir.

People will talk.