Original subtitles

[Theme music]

Theme song: Love, exciting and new--

come aboard, we're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward, let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard, it's love.

Gopher, I want you to check with Mrs. Bradbury.

See if there's anything the ship can

do to help out with last minute details in skagway.

Right, sir. Right.

Touch bases with the wine steward.

I think they need more champagne.

Gopher: Aye, aye, sir.

Now, Mr. Bowers' home is a fair distance from town.

Make sure you have adequate transportation from the dock.

Right.

And another thing, gopher--

hi.

Hi.

Where are you going?

To the bridesmaids' dinner.

Oh, gee.

I'm going to the bachelor dinner.

Too bad.

I bet you'd be fun to hang around with,

if you ever had the time.

--On their best behavior.

Do you-- gopher!

I'm lots of fun.

I'm more fun than you can imagine.

Gopher!

You just wait till I'm the captain, and he's the purser.

I'll make his life hell.

Well, are you ready for your bachelor's dinner--

one last night with the boys?

I can hardly believe it.

Tomorrow my Dougie will be a married man.

What is it mom?

What's what, darling?

Aw, come on.

Look, I know you.

What's on your mind?

Oh.

I don't know.

Sometimes I think I cheated you out of a father.

Maybe if I hadn't pushed him so hard, he wouldn't have

become a-- well, maybe--

I mean, we might have--

oh.

Why do you do that to yourself?

I mean, why put yourself down like that?

Oh, Doug, I haven't always been so--

let me tell you what you've been.

I mean, you have been the guts and the backbone

of this family.

You've handled every crisis.

And you made it all an incredibly smooth ride for me.

And so I guess this might be just about as good

a time as any to say thank you.

So thanks, mom.

Oh, darling.

Thank you, sweetheart.

So, where is little Carol?

Or are we having the bridesmaid party without the bride?

Don't worry.

She'll be here.

I guess it takes a long time to pull

yourself together when all you're used to wearing

are jeans, right?

Hi, Carol.

Hi.

Sorry I'm late.

Oh never mind.

I'm sure no one noticed your breach of etiquette.

Natalie, why don't you just blow it out your ear?

It's obvious that there's no way you'll ever

fit into the bradbury family.

And that, folks, is what is known as a poor loser.

Well, I think so.

Don't worry about her.

I won't.

I just hope this doesn't take too long.

I'm meeting Doug out on the deck after the bachelor party.

Oh.

A little last minute hanky-panky in the moonlight?

If there is any moonlight.

If?

Who cares?

Sunlight, moonlight-- hanky-panky

works great in any weather.

All: (Singing) For he's a jolly good fellow.

For he's a jolly good fellow.

For he's a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny.

[Cheering]

Gentlemen, gentlemen, a toast to Doug.

To Doug.

To Doug.

To Doug.

From this day forward, smooth sailing, but no more cruisings.

[Cheering]

So anyway, then he took me all over Juneau.

And I tell you, Alicia, the scenery

is absolutely breathtaking.

And the people are wonderful.

And buddy is-- is--

yeah, well, he's ok.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Don't tell me, portia the impervious is falling in love.

Oh, don't be silly.

Uh-huh.

I spent some time with Peter today at the glacier.

My goodness, Alicia, not you too?

[Laughter]

And now, from a man with a lot of experience,

you want a happy marriage?

You do everything your wife tells you.

But on the second date--

[laughter]

I wonder what the guys are doing now.

Oh, probably ogling some blonde

who just jumped out of a cake.

Terrific.

[Laughter]

[Cheering]

Surprise!

Good old, nat-- anything for a laugh.

Somehow, I don't think she's doing it for a laugh.

[Cheering]

Oh.

Hello, Carol.

I think your son stood me up.

We were supposed to meet here.

Well, it's his last night as a free man.

I just hope he makes it to the altar.

He's a fool if he doesn't.

You're going to make a beautiful bride.

Thank you, Mr. Bradbury.

You know what's a shame?

In other circumstances, it could have been "dad."

I know Doug wants you there.

Would you come to the wedding?

No.

This is Alicia's show.

I don't want to get in the way.

I'm sorry.

It's all right.

Oh, Peter.

[Sighs] I've been looking everywhere for you.

I'd-- I'd like you to come to the wedding.

Thank you.

Hi, Doug.

I knew you'd come back eventually.

Doug?

That's ok.

I'll wait.

Doug?

[Whistles]

Well, so much for bridesmaids and bachelors.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wedding's tomorrow.

Yeah.

Portia, if I were 20 years younger, i--

I'd be too old for you.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

I'm-- i'm-- I'm sorry.

What were you going to say?

Nothing.

Just goodnight.

Oh.

Oh, goodnight.

Look, buddy, would-- would you like to--

I mean, we could--

could what?

Oh, nothing.

Oh, forget it.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Thank you.

See ya.

Sure.

Oh, just as well.

Oh, nuts!

Captain (on pa): Good morning.

And welcome to skagway.

Yukon train 12 will depart from the fiesta deck.

And for all wedding guests, limousines

will be waiting at dockside.

[Telephone ringing]

Yes?

Hello.

Hello.

Ok, Doug.

This is it.

Let's go.

Come on.

What are you doing?

Do you want to miss your own marriage?

Let's go!

Hello.

Oh, hello.

You look like you're going to a wedding.

Well, so do you.

I am.

I'm glad.

Oh, I'm sorry it took so long.

We had to have them flown in.

Thank you.

I had a talk with Dr. Bricker.

Are you all right?

Oh, yes.

Yes.

I hadn't quite run out.

Obviously, I never mentioned it to anyone.

No use having them worry about every little thing, you know?

What you have is no little thing.

If there's one thing I've learned in my life,

it's the fact that everything is as big as you make it.

This is insane.

I think you just set a new speed record

for putting on a morning coat under the influence

of a hangover.

Marv, I want you to light these.

You're [inaudible] fine. Doug: Oh.

Marv: What?

Doug: I've got to talk to Carol.

I forgot to see her last night. - All right.

Doug. There you are.

I've been looking everywhere for you.

Mom, I'm just going to go talk to Carol real quick.

Darling, darling.

You'll see Carol at the altar. - No.

But you don't understand. - No, darling.

No.

She has enough to do without you barging in.

And besides it's bad luck.

Now, come along.

Come on, honeybunch.

Time to tie the knot.

And get me out of this tie.

Carol?

Well.

I've heard of informal wedding gowns.

Oh, grandpa.

Oh, baby.

Go on inside.

Mr. Bowers' home is beautiful.

I can't imagine a more perfect place to get married.

Well, you'll have to wait your turn.

Doug and Carol have dibs.

Where's Carol?

She ain't going to be here.

Buddy.

Now, you two got a heap of talking to do.

Now, get back to the ship, son.

What--

[chatter]

Folks, I'm sorry.

There ain't going to be a wedding.

Aw.

Carol changed her mind.

[Chatter]

Oh, what a shame.

Yeah.

I'm aching for those two kids.

But if they're really in love with each other,

they'll be back together again.

And if they're not really in love with each other,

then it's for the best.

Still, it does seem a shame to let all this go to waste.

Yeah.

It would have been a hell of a wedding.

Yeah, I mean--

I mean, you-- you paid for the wedding.

It just seems to me like there should be one.

Yeah.

Well, I always--

I always try to get the most for my money.

Makes sense.

Do you want to?

Why not?

Hmm.

Why not?

Yahoo!

Hey, folks.

Folks, hold it!

Hold it.

There's going to be a wedding after all.

[Applause]

What-- what's your last name?

Who the hell cares?

It's going to be bowers in a minute anyway.

Come on.

[Horse whinnying]

Minister: Marriage is the commitment of love,

an affirmation of the most precious of emotions.

To share these feelings is a joyous thing.

As you have vowed to Cherish one another--

I love you.

Jack.

I'm not some romantic kid.

I-- I know when I'm in love and when I'm not.

I'm in love.

Jack.

You know, you're not being very cooperative.

When one dope says I love you, the other dope is

supposed to say I love you too.

I love you too.

You do?

Mm-hmm.

Really?

No kidding?

No kidding.

By the authority vested in me, I

now pronounce you man and wife.

Ah!

[Applause]

What god hath joined together, let no man put asunder.

Oh.

Now, you may kiss the bride.

[Applause]

I'm sure that this is one of those stories

that years from now, it's going to seem

really funny to our kids.

But right now, it sure doesn't feel that way.

Are we going to tell our kids how Natalie answered

your phone this morning?

What?

She was just waking up.

Oh look, Carol, Natalie jumped out of some cake

at my bachelor party last night.

Hey, she must have gone back to my cabin or something.

Well, that explains everything.

Look.

I passed out 30 seconds after I got back there last night.

And if anything happened between Natalie and me--

oh, hey-- she must have--

she must have taken advantage of me.

I mean, I would have fought valiantly

for my honor, of course.

And you know that.

Poor Doug, seduced and abandoned, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Carol, I love you.

I want you, not Natalie--

just you.

Do you think we could go back to my room

and talk about this some more?

Yeah.

You know, I don't know if you're dressed for it.

And just what did you have in mind, young fellow?

Oh, I don't know.

Just don't plan on being out of your cabin

for the next 12 hours.

[Cheering]

Oh, I'm glad someone will live happily ever after.

Oh, I don't think they're the only ones.

I'm sure that Doug and Carol will work things out.

How can you be so sure?

Call me an optimist.

Or maybe I'm just a romantic.

But I think people who love each other

should be together and not let anything stand in the way.

After all, what's more important than love?

Thank you, captain.

Well, you're welcome.

For what?

I think you just optimistically romanticized

us out of a cruise director.

[Laughter]

Now listen, Mrs. Bowers, there's nothing in the marriage

vows about me carrying you over a threshold or up and down

halls.

[Groans] Ok.

Ok.

I'll make a deal with you.

What?

On our 50th wedding anniversary,

when we have our second marriage ceremony--

our 50th?

--Right, I'll carry you down the hall.

How about that?

You got a deal.

- Buddy. - Oh, Alicia.

Oh, buddy.

You've got to talk some sense into Carol.

Well, Carol's got plenty of sense.

Runs in the family.

Doug: Can Carol and I get back to you?

We're kind of having a rehearsal for the honeymoon--

I mean, the wedding.

Ugh.

We ought to go to buddy and portia's reception.

You go.

What's wrong?

Doug and Carol are fine.

They're together.

They're together.

But they're not married.

So what?

Oh, Peter.

Oh god.

I'm bankrupt.

What?

All that money?

How?

Through stupidity and greed.

I had to have more, always more.

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm-- I'm truly sorry.

But it won't make any difference to Doug and Carol.

They love each other.

Do you think buddy bowers wants his granddaughter married

into a family of paupers?

Buddy bowers couldn't care less.

Well, I care.

And he's not going to know, not till this wedding is

accomplished, not until my son has the security of the bowers'

fortune behind him.

I see.

Well, you encouraged the right match, but as usual,

for all the wrong reasons.

Well.

Captain (on pa): Good morning, and welcome

to glacier bay, home of 14 of the most

active glaciers in the world.

The icebergs you'll see floating are

pieces of the various glaciers that have recently broken off.

Our first stop, beautiful muir glacier.

Doug, where did you disappear to last night?

Have you seen Carol?

What's going on with you two?

- Look, I've seen her and-- - all right.

You know you are an absolute fool

if you don't make up with her.

You do know that, don't you?

Yeah, I know that. But--

I know what happened last night.

Natalie snuck into your cabin and all that.

Listen, I think if you just explain it to Carol, now,

she's got to understand.

Marv, will you listen to me for one minute?

Do you want me to talk her? I'll talk to her.

I'm not going to let the two of you

break up over some silly misunderstanding.

Excuse me.

Hi.

Hi.

Maybe you'd better handle it yourself.

Does this mean the wedding is back on again?

Yeah.

I'd say the wedding is back on again.

Last night was the most beautiful night of my life.

Mine too.

[Laughter]

Hey, you guys.

Come over here and give us a big hug.

Oh!

Buddy, congratulations.

Beat you to it.

Beat you to it.

Where's my little baby?

Here she is.

What do you think of your old aunt portia, anyway?

Oh. Oh.

That she's terrific.

Love it.

What about marriage?

Is this something you'd recommend, or what?

- Oh. - Well, it's all right.

Try it.

You like it.

Yeah.

Maybe we should try it.

I bet I could probably round up the reverend.

What do you think?

- That sounds good to me. - Ok.

Would you guys excuse us, please?

We're about to become Mr. and Mrs. Bradbury.

Oh!

Oh!

I'll let you know when.

Oh.

They finally came to their senses.

Like us.

Yeah!

Oh, Sandy.

Sandy, wait a minute.

Hey, Sandy.

Sandy, hey, guess what?

I have some time off.

I thought maybe we'd spend it together.

How about that? - Not now, gopher.

- Why not? - I got to go get dressed.

There's going to be another wedding.

- Another wedding? - Gopher.

Oh, there you are, sir.

I've been looking all over for you.

Good.

There's something I want you to do.

Of course there is.

Better dust off your party dress.

Hi.

Hi.

I just saw Carol.

And the wedding is back on again.

Oh, I'm really glad.

Yeah, me too.

But I'll be glad when this thing is over.

Weddings really take it out of a guy, you know?

Oh.

I'm looking forward to one more.

You decided to say yes to that guy in sitka?

Hey, that's great.

Really.

You're the first person I've told.

Oh.

Well, I'm sure you'll be very happy--

considering, of course, that you are settling for second best.

Oh, Marv.

Whoever gets you is going to be very lucky.

Why do girls always say that to me right before they

marry somebody else?

Well, you'll make a better husband than I ever was.

You know, mom said that a lot of it was her fault.

She said that she pushed you into doing

things you didn't want to do.

Now, that's true.

But she was under pressure from a lot of people.

When you're among the richest women in the country,

you have to maintain a certain image.

Well, well, well.

Look who's here.

Mother, can I ask you something?

Yes, darling.

What?

Why didn't you just give all the money away?

You told him.

Oh, Doug.

I am so sorry.

It won't exactly be bankruptcy, more

of a liquidation of assets.

So please, don't worry.

I'll manage somehow.

And you will be married to Carol, all right?

Well, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Let me get this straight.

We're broke?

Well.

And I'll be married to Carol, living off her money.

My god.

We'll end up just like you and dad.

Hey, Doug.

Doug, I found the reverend, and I talked to him.

And he's ready to marry us just as soon as we are.

And I saw buddy and portia in the hallway.

And I told them.

Oh, I'm so excited.

We can't get married.

It just wouldn't work out.

Peter, I don't know what to do.

Just don't do anything.

Just let people be.

Well, you're right, of course.

You've always been right.

I've tried so hard to control people.

I really made a mess out of your life, Doug's life, my life.

My life isn't a mess.

Doug's fine.

He's got a good head on his shoulders.

As for your life, just try it one day at a time, as I do.

You'll have to teach me this method of yours.

Just imagine you've got six months to live.

I'd spend every minute with you.

There you are.

It's all solved.

Don't be silly.

That takes care of six months.

But I expect to live a very long--

Peter?

No.

Oh god.

Isn't there anything I can--

just one day at a time, Alicia, one day at a time.

Captain stubing.

Miss McCoy.

What are you doing up at 2 in the morning?

Well, I couldn't sleep.

And there's something I want to tell you.

So it's true?

You are planning to leave us to get married.

Hey.

Try to keep a secret around here.

How does Jack feel about it?

I haven't told him yet.

You haven't even called?

Well, I did when we were in skagway.

But when he answered, I got all confused and excited.

And there were so many things I wanted to tell him.

I couldn't tell him on the telephone.

So I pretended I had a wrong number.

I know it's silly.

But he's going to be so excited when I surprise him.

No, I can't imagine what it will be

like around here without you.

Neither can I. Captain, I'll be sailing with you

for the rest of the cruise.

But I just wanted to tell you I'm going to miss you.

Mm.

Yeah.

I think I'd better be getting back to my work.

Yes, sir.

Goodnight.

And thank you, captain.

Goodnight.

Captain (on pa): Good morning.

And welcome to sitka, the earliest

Russian settlement in Alaska.

At dockside, the authentic Russian folk dancers.

We hope you enjoy your day.

[Polka music]

Doc: Julie, are you sure you're going

to be able to find Jack's house, because this looks

like a pretty confusing town.

Julie: Oh, I can ask directions.

Gopher: Well, listen, maybe you better come along with us

and see the totem Poles.

Julie: Uh. Gopher: I guess not, huh?

Julie: No.

Issac: Julie, there's something I have to tell you.

Julie: Yeah?

Issac: The Russian orphanage here in sitka

is the oldest existing building in Alaska.

Julie: Oh, you guys.

I'll be back on the ship later on.

It's not like I'm never going to see you again.

Gopher: We know. Doc: We know.

Julie: Ok. Isaac: Bye-bye.

Doc: Sure. Gopher: Have a good time.

Julie: Bye. Doc: So long, Julie.

Have fun. Isaac: Good luck.

Bye.

Well, look who's here.

Hiya, nat.

Not going in to sitka?

Yeah.

I was sort of hoping for a handsome young man to take me.

Well, I'll tell you what.

If I see him, I'll tell him you're looking for him.

You know I mean you, silly.

Doug-- Doug, is it obvious to everybody but you

that you and Carol are just not meant to be?

But there is somebody on this ship who's good for you.

And you don't have to look too far.

Natalie, you don't want me.

You could never live without all this.

Well, why should I have to?

Because we are busted.

All of Alicia's money [Snap] down the drain.

No more cruise ships or jet airplanes.

From now on, it is the bus.

You still want to go along?

I didn't think so.

Oh.

Jack.

Julie.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

Didn't you see the ship?

I see ships all the time.

But you've never gotten off one before.

Oh, I wanted to call you.

But I kept getting all tongue-tied every

time I picked up the phone.

Oh, Jack.

I missed you so much.

Mm.

Mm.

I missed you too.

Oh.

It feels so good to touch you again.

Oh. - Julie.

Hmm?

I sort of--

sort of figured you had forgotten about us.

You stopped writing.

Oh.

I-- I know.

I got confused, but I'm not anymore.

Oh, Jack.

I could never forget you.

Letting you and the girls out of my life

was the biggest mistake I ever made.

Julie, we-- we didn't know you were coming.

You know for the longest time I kept hoping you'd change

your mind about marrying me.

I kept thinking one day I'd get a letter

saying you were on your way.

But your letters-- your letters never said that.

And then-- and then they stopped coming.

And I finally stopped hoping.

And then all that seemed to be left was a kind of dull ache.

Oh, Jack.

I'm so sorry.

And there was a great emptiness

that had to be filled, in my life, in the girls' lives.

So when I met somebody who could fill that emptiness--

I got married two months ago, Julie.

Oh.

- Julie, i-- - no, no, no.

That's all right.

I'm all right.

I-- I'm really happy for you.

Really I am.

The girls should be back soon.

Do you want to--

no, no.

No, I better be getting back.

Oh.

Give them my love, will you?

Julie.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

- Well, I don't know, man. - No, no, no.

Don't say a word. - Oh.

What?

Alaska, hope, right.

Oh, come on, gopher.

Hello, sir.

Oh.

How was sitka?

Well sir.

You know Mr. Alaska here, the man

who knows everything there is to know about our 49th state.

The supreme authority on all things Alaskan.

I got lost.

Or we should lose that dumb book.

Attention, here comes the bride to be.

Hey, I've seen tears of happiness before.

But this is ridiculous.

Julie?

I'll be ok.

Don't worry.

Um, he married somebody else.

I'm just going to have a real good cry.

And then everything will be back to normal.

About how long does a good cry take?

I think a couple of weeks ought to do it.

Carol, darling.

[Sighs] It seems we both have lousy taste in men, huh?

And what's that supposed to mean?

Oh.

You're probably the last to know.

Alicia is bankrupt.

I guess that makes Doug infinitely less interesting,

wouldn't you say?

[Smack]

Ever the peasant.

Doug.

Um, I know about the money.

I guess you think you're being gallant or noble or something.

No.

No, just practical.

I can be practical too.

You know I hate all that money stuff.

The best years of my life were spent in a cabin

in the middle of nowhere, keeping house for buddy

and growing my own vegetables.

Carol, that isn't valid.

You don't have to do that anymore.

Well, sure I do.

Even a crazy man like you needs fresh vegetables.

Hi.

Hi.

I heard, and I'm real sorry.

It was all my own fault. I set myself

up for about the biggest fall ever attempted on dry land.

It really never occurred to me that he would--

I just assumed that he'd be there.

And I decided I was ready.

Oh, damn.

I wasn't going to cry anymore.

Yeah.

You know, most girls spend their whole lives looking

for that one special guy.

Well, what do you do when you've found him,

but he picked somebody else?

It's all right, Julie.

It's ok.

Julie, I really like you.

I mean, I really like you.

And well, you see, I feel like we're pretty good friends,

you know?

And I don't want to jeopardize that for a night of rebounding.

I can't believe this.

Under any other circumstances I think

that they'd have to hose me down with liquid helium

to keep my hands off you.

Maybe right now you need a friend more than a lover.

Are friends allowed to hug?

Oh, it's mandatory.

Marv?

Hmm?

Thanks.

Anytime.

(Together) I take you to live with and love,

to believe in through adversity and triumph, to help you

realize your full potential, to create a lasting union

based on mutual respect.

I take you to make my life whole.

By the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

[Cheering]

This is really one cruise I hate to see end.

It's not an end, captain.

It's a beginning.

Every day is a beginning, merrill,

whether you have 1 or 1,000.

I hope you'll have 1,000.

Thank you.

One at a time, captain.

One at a time.

Hello.

Well, hello.

Hi.

Ok, gopher.

This is your last chance.

Now, look.

You ask one of them out to dinner.

And I'll ask the other one.

Yeah.

But, doc, I still don't know which one to choose.

Well, you better make up your mind quick.

Ok.

I'll take Nancy.

No wait, Sandy.

No, wait a minute, Nancy.

I'll take-- I'll take--

gopher!

All right.

Ok.

I'm going to take Sandy.

I'll take Sandy.

Ok.

I'll take Nancy.

Ok.

Excuse me, how are you?

You are so cute.

May I?

Oh.

I tell you, we have some waves out there you wouldn't believe.

Hi.

Sandy, I'm off duty.

And I have the rest of the weekend free.

So I thought that maybe you and i--

oh, I wish I could stay and talk to you, gopher.

But my husband is coming to pick me up.

Oh.

There he is.

Hey, gopher.

What are you doing this evening?

Killing myself.

Hey, maybe you'd rather catch up on some reading instead.

There's really some interesting stuff in this book, man.

Yeah.

Well, take care of yourself.

I will.

It's going to take e some time.

Yeah.

I know.

Just remember, if anyone gives you a hard time,

just call on big brother here.

Yeah, if you ever need a sister--

you'll have to take your place at the back of the line

like everybody else.

Oh, Marv.

Bye, Julie.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Julie.

Yes, sir?

This telegram came for you.

Thank you, sir.

You're welcome.

Jack: I cannot convey my feelings in 10 words or less.

I hope somehow you're understand.

I married a wonderful woman.

We're happy.

And the girls love her as much as I do.

But if it makes a difference at this point, none of us

ever stopped loving Julie McCoy.

Ok, everybody. Hurry up.

Here they come.

Come on.

[Applause]

[Theme music]