Original subtitles

-Oh! How'd that happen? -Mon Dieu, Elliot!

What did you do? Look at the mess youve made!

-I didnt knock it over! -It happened just like magic?

-Dont be a pain. -Im going to tell.

I didnt spill it.

-Naughty boy. -Leave me alone! lm accident-prone.

-Behave yourself. -Let go! Stop it!

lm telling your mama and papa. You are very naughty.

Stop it.

How many times have I told you not to come in the kitchen?

How many times have I told you? One million times!

Testing. Lets begin.

Hello, Elliot. Ive known you for a long time, always considered you a friend...

...and I admire your work.

Thank you, Martin.

I always have trouble saying your name, because Australians have difficulty...

...with the American R. It would be easier if your name was Bob.

-This is a serious interview. -Im sorry.

Im just a little anxious.

Youve achieved a great deal of success in your creative and artistic field.

Youve traveled a great deal.

You have influential friends. Youve dated a bevy of bright and beautiful women.

Yet youve never had a lasting relationship.

I never seem to get it right.

Im a simple girl. I dont need to do all these far-out things...

...with somebody whos never around.

Does this mean were not gonna have breakfast? Thank you.

Get out!

You came close to getting married once, quite close.

Yeah, Kathleen.

It started out all right. Sunny day, lovely flowers, nice crowd. Everyone was there.

Except the bride.

That was a difficult day.

Thats when you called me about the island?

-Yeah, I was hoping you could help me. -lf youre selected, when can you leave?

I have an assignment in South America for a month, and then lm free.

Why do you think your relationships do not work out?

lm not always honest with myself about what I want.

We'll be landing at Los Angeles International Airport momentarily...

...where the local time is 4:05 a.m.

We've enjoyed serving you on Flight 241, and if your future travel plans...

...take you to South America, we hope you will once again choose Aero Brazil.

US citizens, over here. Aliens, over there.

This way, please.

-Hey, Tony. -Hi, Susan. See you.

Next, please.

Excuse me, sir, could you hold my baby, please?

Sir, could you help me and hold my baby? Thank you very much.

Thank you. Next?

Hello, Aidan, this is Dr. Rubino. Whats the emergency?

Hi, mom. Yeah, lm safe. We just landed.

Im exhausted. Mom, its 4:00 in the morning.

I really gotta go. Bye.

Dont you hate getting in this late? My eyes get so dry when I fly.

Hold it. Youre the guy with the turban!

Okay, Martin, thank you.

Passenger Joel Stearns, please pick up the nearest white courtesy phone.

Passengers arriving on Aero Brazil Flight 241...

...may claim their baggage at Carousel 2.

Are you crazy? Taking a picture of me blowing my nose?

Would you stop it?

Okay. Im a professional. Call me, well do a sitting sometime.

Yeah.

Your bags moving.

Want me to get that? III get it for you.

No, leave it alone. Leave it.

Excuse me, sir.

Going to unload your own luggage?

This lady accidentally lost her bag.

I wasnt watching where I put my bag.

Its all right. It will come around. Here it is.

Sorry to cause you so much trouble.

We cant be responsible for your head if you stick it in the baggage hole.

Ill remember that.

Look, I dont know if something was going down or not.

Please open all of your bags.

They may just be smuggling a bottle of vodka for all I know.

I got photos of both of them.

I need some stuff on this roll, but if you wanna see them, heres my card.

We have to do a full check on everybody.

-Ill remember that. -Nice job.

You stay out of trouble.

Smuggling.

Hello, my little friends.

The white zone is for the immediate loading and unloading of passengers only.

No parking.

Did you have any trouble in there?

Absolutely not. Im a professional.

Yes, a professional.

Good morning, and welcome to LA's premier XXX club...

...The Feather.

When the sun comes up, the bras come down.

It is dark and time for our sunrise special. Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Give it up.

Look what I got!

Now.

We think youll find this will help Mr. Walker breathe a lot better.

-Wait here. -All right.

-Mr. Walker, everything checks out fine. -Good.

LAPD!

Freeze!

-Is this a raid? -Im 21, I swear.

-Get out of the way. -All of you.

-Get down! -Come here!

-On the floor! -Watch it, buddy.

Get with the program! The floor! On the floor!

You! Get with the program!

Out of my way! Kill them!

Spread em. Youve never been in trouble with the police before?

-I havent. Im clean. -Yeah, youre clean. Miranda.

If you would do the honors, Detective Kingston.

My pleasure.

Where are you going? Sit down! You are sitting down!

You sit down, unless youre crawling.

Fred, my feet are killin me in these shoes.

Welcome to King Solomons mine.

God, lm good.

Get down!

Check, please.

Ill go!

Hi. I'm Sheila Kingston, and I'm a cop.

Thought I was a supermodel?

Don't feel bad. Everyone makes that mistake.

Damn it, they got away. I hate that.

That's my partner, Detective Fred Lavery. June 13, that's the date.

It was the beginning of the wildest case of my career.

Let me tell you, my love life has never been the same.

And your love life may never be the same either.

Here we go. Case No. 1 1725.

The FBI and the US Customs Bureau had been trying to break...

...a South American diamond-smuggling ring for about two years without success.

That's where we came in.

And our backup finally arrived. Late. Must have been a line at Dunkin' Donuts.

We got the diamonds. The bad guys got away.

All we knew, one of them had a bad cold.

You missed Walker. How could you miss a man in a wheelchair?

Things didnt go that well at the airport either.

-Really? -A man took your picture.

Took my picture?

...it's a detour, and people act out...

Ill be two minutes, pal.

...early childhood humiliations in order to get rid of them.

It's been estimated that about a third of all couples have tried spanking each other.

About a third have tried tying each other up.

The woman in the pain profession, the dominatrix...

...considers it an ideal profession.

She can sleep in late. She can wear interesting clothes.

She can push men around. And with her whips and handcuffs...

...she actually makes more money per hour than I do.

And she can also charge it on Visa or MasterCard. It's sometimes--

Here we are.

Thats him.

-Looks like hes taking another trip. -Yeah, with his camera.

Shall I grab him?

Not yet. It doesnt mean that the damn film is in the camera.

All right. You go search the house. Im gonna follow the cab. Go!

-Here you go. -Thanks.

An hour later, Elliot Slater boarded a ship at Los Angeles Harbor, Pier 56.

We assumed he was going on another photo assignment. He wasn't.

He didn't know what was ahead of him or who was behind him.

Whoa, Doctor. No more blood samples.

No, I came to tell you that you passed your physical.

You are HIV-negative and all your body parts...

...that should be working, work.

Thats great, but you didnt try them all.

I did forget one. I always save that for last.

Drop your pants.

-I dont even know your first name. -Doctor.

Turn your head and cough. Again.

I cant believe lm doing this.

I bet youve been doing this since you were 13.

No, I mean being here on this ship.

Follow the rules, and youll do fine. From here on out, we only ask one thing.

What?

We'd like you to refrain from any private sexual stimulations.

We want you to perform up to your own expectations once you arrive.

Just finishing a roll.

Good luck.

-Are you positive? -I think so.

-Think so is not positive. -Im pretty sure.

Pretty sure is not positive. We need positive.

-Does this help? -Yes. Thats her. She went for my throat.

-Im positive. -Thank you, Susan.

You can now go back to work.

In the event of a water landing, there are six exits on this plane.

I couldve been a stewardess.

Lets put this on the wire, Nina and all her aliases.

Im not gonna put an APB out on a person with magic marker on her face.

Its a red dot.

-In my office. -Yes, sir.

-I got an ID on Nina. -I got the same from the airport security.

-He said she was a beauty queen. -Shes a psychotic who kills people...

-...and injures the handicapped. -Handicapped criminals.

Folks, please, lm late for a meeting, if you dont mind. Come on.

So Walker talked. Said that Nina was partners with Omar.

-What do you got on Omar, Mr. Filofax? -Okay, at your service.

Omar, precious gem smugglers pinup boy.

Wanted for murdering two Hasidic diamond merchants in Rotterdam.

No known aliases or physical description. No known photos.

-Ill take Obscure Criminals for $500. -Except there now is a photograph...

-...but we are not in possession of it. -Where does that leave us?

-My deduction? -Please.

We can assume that Nina told Omar this photographer...

...took the only photos of Omar in the modern world.

Omar is going to want to get his hands on this photographer, Slater, pretty bad.

Lieutenant, if we can get to Slater and his camera before they do...

...we can set a trap, and they will walk right into our arms.

Works for me. Lieutenant?

-God, lm... -Dont say it.

-...good. -He said it.

Okay, thats it. Freds right. Thats your next assignment.

-Did you trace Slaters ship? -It wasnt easy.

But we know its going to an island resort, a club.

-Club Med? -Well, its not your usual resort.

Its a place for S&M, B&D, and D&S.

M&M?

They have a Club Med for sex orgies?

Maybe this will help you out. Heres some bondage magazines to study up on.

Tomorrow, you will be meeting with Dr. Martin Halifax, the islands owner.

He will set you up to go undercover.

-Thats what we do. -Yes, we do.

This is now over. Get out of my office. Im late for supper.

-Thanks, boss. -Good night, Lieutenant.

Lets go, Fred.

I ate four green ones. I dont feel anything.

Wait one hour.

This is just so gross.

Come on. Welcome to the 90s. Its just an alternative lifestyle.

An alternative lifestyle. Do you know what that is?

A phrase deviants use to cover up their sex lives.

Maybe if you'd spiced up your sex life a little, you wouldnt be divorced.

What? I spiced it up plenty. Many a time, I let the wife get on top.

On top? It just boggles the mind.

-I was joking. -I figured.

Ill get the file on Nina. Do whatever.

Catch you later. I gotta get a bikini wax.

Stop telling me about that disgusting female stuff.

-No wonder you were never married. -I have PMS, too. Do you know that?

Sometimes I bloat, weight gain, temporary water buildup.

I hate to tell you this. I clot. Heavy flow days.

Welcome. Im Senior Trainer Richard.

-Hi, Richard. -Theres no talking, Riba.

Dr. Williams will be around to collect your release forms.

While shes doing that, please take off your clothing.

You will spend one week at Eden.

Each of you has specifically chosen to pay your entrance fee...

...and sign up as submissives at Eden, some of you for fun...

...others of you to examine your sexual and emotional lives.

And we, after careful screening, have chosen you for one of three reasons:

Your curiosity, your desire to obey...

...or your capacity for arousal.

From now on, you will be referred to as citizens of Eden.

And you will obey all of our commands. Is that clear?

-Yes. -Good.

When you arrive at Eden, all of your luggage will be taken...

...and stored on the island for safekeeping until you leave.

At Eden, everybody wears a specific outfit.

Yours designates that youre citizens or, if you will, submissives.

The trainers will hand out your Eden attire...

...which youll wear during your stay on our island.

Excuse me, Doctor.

Is this the right boat to the fantasy camp for golfers?

-Golfers? -Yes.

Im supposed to play with Lee Trevino.

-You come with me. -Arnold Palmer and Chi Chi Rodriguez....

Also, alcohol and drugs are not permitted on the island.

Youll love it here. Ive been here three times.

Riba, be quiet.

Please put on your Eden outfits, and return to your room.

I guess that covers all the details the department has to know, Dr. Halifax.

On June 15, Detective Lavery met with the owner of the resort.

A Dr. Martin Halifax, a guy who is very into ornithology.

Bird collecting. I had to look it up, too.

They met at his mansion in Malibu, California. A very swanky place.

Detective Lavery? If theres nothing else....

Okay. Well, then, I guess lm off to your S&M fantasy island.

Where the little guy runs around yelling, The pain! The pain!

-Youre not mocking my work, are you? -No, sir.

In fact, how did you happen to start this resort of yours?

I believe theres always been a need for such a place.

There are many people with similar tastes but with limited opportunities to discuss...

...or fulfill them.

I guess youre right, there. All you got is your peeler bars...

...your sicko handcuff clubs, weirdo newspaper ads....

But none offers an environment safe from disease or violence.

In this era of fringe-group lunacy, shouldnt we preserve freedom of choice...

...in the most intimate of all choices? Sex.

Everybody up on deck! This is Eden!

Mistress, the boats here.

Paddle!

Lets go! Okay, move it!

You okay?

Keep in time!

Keep your heads down!

Ladies and gentlemen, the new citizens are arriving.

They beg for your examination.

I'm Trainer Kindra, and I'm pleased to announce that today...

...we have a new group of citizens for everyone's use and approval.

As you choose them, they also choose you.

All our pairings, whether married couples or singles, are by mutual consent.

Our head trainer Richard will introduce them.

But first, our headmistress of Eden, Mistress Lisa.

I could carry you around like that, too.

All this ceremony and ritual makes me so aroused.

Why are we in a tent?

Sometimes planes and helicopters fly overhead and try to see what were doing.

What are we doing?

Quiet, Riba.

You will now meet each candidate individually...

...and, as is custom here at Eden, they will then pay homage to Mistress Lisa.

First, we have Lars from Sweden.

Oh, my God.

Julie. Atlanta, Georgia.

Dante. Anaheim, California.

Riba, from Fort Worth, Texas.

Jenny. Australia.

This isnt quite what I expected. I gotta get out of here.

You cant. The boat already left.

Naomi, from Memphis, Tennessee.

Elliot, from Australia and Los Angeles, California.

-Lets go, Citizen Elliot. -You go.

-Im not going up there. -Yes, you are.

-Im not going up. -Elliot Slater.

Take it off, baby.

Okay, thats enough. Heres your robe. Lets go, Slater.

Thank you very much.

It feels like a sponge cake.

Quite a showoff, arent you, Elliot?

Individuality is an admirable trait.

But not here. I think you need a couple of days to realize...

...youre nobody special in Eden. Turn around.

Put him on work detail. Take him away.

Heidi, from Fargo, North Dakota.

$3 million worth of stolen diamonds were confiscated after a shootout...

...that left two suspects still at large.

Now that youve found us, dont be a stranger.

You know, youre gonna be surprised how much use you get out of that.

On June 16, suspects Nina and Omar were seen at a specialized clothing store...

...on Sunset Blvd. Apparently, they found out where Slater's ship was headed, too.

Fred and I arrived at the shop minutes later.

Come on, Lucky.

Fred was his usual adventuresome self. Let's face it.

A wild night for Fred is a Doris Day film festival.

No blowup toys, no vibrators, no gels, no creams, no cuffs, no tapes.

-How about some clothes? -No, actually.

Im just here with him. Its his thing.

A lot of people feel nervous...

...about this submissive-dominant thing at first.

But, you know, really, the submissive person is always in control.

All you have to do is give your partner a little control word.

Like yellow.

Yellow. Yellow! Fred!

Look! Bondage Man.

Its like Elvis Goes to Hell.

-Ill be the guest. -Ill be the maintenance man.

Lets get started.

Lots of men like to hear women talk dirty.

Lets hear someone talk dirty.

Any volunteers? How about you?

-No, I couldnt. -Come on. Just try.

Thats why youre here. Say something hot to your lover in bed.

All right.

Come on, put your thing in my thing.

Its a start.

One, two, three.

And finally, the experts predict, to survive intimacy in the year 2000...

...women will learn to be more sexually aggressive, and men, more romantic.

Our time is up. Thank you. Zara?

Thank you, Mistress Lisa.

Now, if you'd all come with me, well go on to the next class.

That was a wonderful lecture.

-Do you have a book out? -No, we like to keep it kind of private here.

I understand. I'd better catch up. Bye.

-There he is again. -Yeah.

What do you think of her? Shes cool.

Elliot Slater.

Slater was intrigued by erotica but was reticent to try it until now.

I think we can help him.

There he is.

Read the whole bio.

Born in Australia and grew up in Californias San Fernando Valley.

That must make for an interesting accent.

What the hells he doing?

Hes an award-winning photojournalist whose specialty is combat photography.

They say hes fearless.

Hes never been trained.

Fast-forward to the end of the interview.

But one more thing.

-What? -You didn't list your sexual fantasies.

You do have sexual fantasies?

Doesn't everybody?

Be honest. You're not comfortable talking about them.

Not really. That's why I want to go to the island.

Who else sees this tape? Does everybody get interviewed like this?

Hes going to be work. Ill train him myself.

When you get to the island, find this Slater character...

...and stick to him like glue.

We dont want Slater to know hes the bait.

No, he could panic.

If we tell him we need the film, well know what Omar looks like.

Hes smart. I dont want to chance it.

If Omar even suspects that the police are involved, he could disappear.

It wont be hard to spot Nina.

How many tall black women are there in the world?

-Hey, Sheila. -Hey, Martha.

Dr. Halifax has sent your plane tickets. When you get there....

-What are you doing? -Its wigs, Lieutenant.

For undercover on the island. In case they recognize me from the strip club.

How? You were already in disguise in your stripper cover.

I pointed that out to her, sir.

Debbie Gibson?

In a less-than-perfect world.

If you find Nina, I only want you to observe her...

...because we could also use her to get to Omar. I want Omar.

You got it.

-Florence Henderson? -No, Mrs. Brady on a binge.

Your itineraries are with your tickets.

Pay attention. Look at me.

Im listening.

Watch your expense accounts. Youre cops, not politicians.

-Good luck. -Roger.

Last one, Fred. You call it.

Julio Iglesias, Sasquatch, road-kill... Just do your New York thing.

All right.

While I was trying to cover my stringy hair with wigs...

...Omar and Nina were charming their way to the island.

So, thats the favor. You owe me one, Priscilla.

But Dr. Halifax sends me some of my best clients.

Mistress Priscilla, lm ready to be punished.

Look, I have to go to work.

Omar had 30 years in the smuggling business...

...with no arrests and no photos ever taken.

He wanted to retire with a clean slate.

He was obsessed with getting Slater's film.

Look.

You get me on that next guest list thats going to that island.

I'm sorry about Mom.

-Are you going to be okay, Dad? -Hell, of course I am.

-It just isnt fair. -Of course its fair.

People die.

She was 52 years old.

It was her time.

Come on, get in the cab. Im sure the meters running.

Ill call you.

Bye, dad.

Mistress, hes waiting.

Is something wrong? You havent said a word to me all night.

Im just thinking.

Thinking about your mother?

No, my father, actually.

At my mothers funeral, he didnt cry. Ive never seen him cry.

Eyes straight.

Lets talk about something prettier.

He is attractive.

Especially those eyes.

I wouldnt know, Mistress. I cant see his eyes.

Come on, its cold.

Dont look.

Come here, I want to sit down.

-Where? -No talking.

No.

Very good, Pretty Eyes.

Now lm going to let you feel what you so very much wanted to see.

You want me to rock?

Bring him to my room tomorrow night.

June 17, we arrived on a privately-owned island just off the coast of Mexico...

...called Eden.

I thought I'd seen everything. Well, I hadn't.

New guests, please sign in at the hospitality tent.

Its all right. Our citizens will take care of your luggage for you.

Itll be at your accommodations.

The citizens traveled by boat, and the guests on chartered planes.

Both paid big bucks for what I was doing free.

Hi, we didnt meet. Im Bettiann, and this is my husband Jeffrey.

-Hi. Lucy Smith. How are you? -Fine.

-Im a dental hygienist. -Really?

-Do you floss? -Yes.

Step right through to the hospitality tent.

-Because you have no tartar buildup. -Tartar? Really?

-This is gonna be fun, huh, Bettiann? -Wonderful, beautiful.

Were in for a treat. I can feel it.

Bob Greenway.

-Welcome, Master. Im here to please you. -Ill do anything to give you pleasure.

Wait! Hes just an employee.

Your transportation is over there, sir.

-What can I do for you, Master? -Carry my bag.

Thank you.

Im here to serve you.

Use me any way you wish.

-Im here to make your body tingle. -Is that so?

I believe thats my transportation. Bob Greenway, air-conditioning mechanic.

-Ou est ma reservation? Merde! -Madame Randy, c'est pas dans le registre.

-Votre nom n'est pas ici. -Madame Randy.

Mais, non. Attendez une seconde. Voila, je I'ai trouv�e.

Idiote!

May I please you?

If you can handle it.

Can I just follow the.... Okay, III just....

Last year, I was in a hotel in Miami next to the elevator and the ice machine.

What a nightmare.

All night.

-Meet you at the room. -Fine.

-Excuse me, am I near the ice machine? -No, maam, we make it by hand.

-I will not tolerate being near an-- -Would you please be careful?

Do I get the same person all the time, or do they rotate?

Kitty is one of our best citizens. She finished training early.

Okay, in.

There are no locks on the doors. Nothing to hide here at Eden.

Hotel phones are room-to-room only.

Emergency calls can be made from the office.

Ill be your personal citizen, if it pleases you.

Thrilled.

I have a little specialty.

Specialty?

Look, lm a new maintenance man. Im not a guest here.

So I dont have to do the kinky stuff, right?

lm a doctor, and everybody on this island gets a physical.

Im checking for hernias. Drop your shorts.

Turn your head and cough.

Cough.

Turn your head the other way. Cough.

Thats a good boy.

Or should I say big boy?

-Im on the job here. -Me, too.

I have to be at Mistress Lisas in five minutes.

Shes having a little welcoming tea for the new guests. Ladies only.

-Well discuss intimate things. -Lucky you.

You think that was Nina on the plane?

The tall, yellow outfit shouting at everybody in French?

I dont think so. Too obvious.

Better keep your eye out for any other possible Ninas.

-Excuse me. -Ive got a list of chores. Oil sex chair.

Wait. I know youre new, but maintenance people are not allowed to talk to guests.

I was just asking if there was a gift shop.

-I need to get some tampons. -Definitely.

-Super-absorbency? With odor control? -All that.

-Perfect. -Right this way.

Thank you.

Could you connect me with Mrs. Randy?

Elliot wasn't among the regular citizens. He was nowhere to be found.

While Nina and Omar were plotting to find him...

...I checked in to the coffee klatch.

Go on, Nancy.

So after 20 years, he tells me what his sexual fantasies are.

I tell him what my sexual fantasies are.

It turns out that theyre incredibly similar, except that now its too late...

...because were in the middle of a divorce. Such a waste of time...

...and good sex.

Again, you must discuss your sexual fantasies with your partner.

Are you gonna eat that?

-Any other questions? -Yes, I have two.

First, do your parents know you do this?

They think that I work at a four-star resort.

Which this is, kind of.

Okay, and second, how do you decide you wanna be a dominatrix?

What do you, wake up one day and go, Hey, I feel like being bossy?

No....

I dont mean to pry. You dont have to tell me.

No, its all right.

I remember once, there was this birthday party in high school for the quarterback...

...and I volunteered to be the present.

He never talked to me again.

I just wanted everybody to like me.

I didnt even know the guy. And there were a few others like him.

But that all changed when I went to college.

What did you take, Spanking 101?

Well, it wasnt on the curriculum.

-Its where I met this professor. -And Mary Ann....

-Gilligan's Island? -My favorite show.

Im sorry. Conversation interruptus. Continuous, please.

No, it was an English professor.

You see, I went to this very small, conservative school.

And when I was a graduate student, I wrote a paper on Pride and Prejudice.

In conclusion, it is apparent that Elizabeth exhibited the qualities of a submissive.

She completely gave herself to her man, and in doing so...

...forgot her own emotional pain.

Youre really busy. I should go.

Put down your books.

Now take off your sweater.

You took off your clothes in his office? I could never do that.

Even at home, I take off my clothes in the bathroom, then I jump into bed quickly.

Which is weird, because I live alone.

You see, I was a victim. I would have done anything he asked.

And it wasnt about sex. He never touched me.

He seemed to understand what I was going through.

And he arranged for me to meet a friend of his...

...who specialized in erotica.

So a large, black limousine picked me up at school...

...and took me to a beautiful mansion with a gigantic iron gate.

I was given a note that said, "Go into the living room...

"...take off your clothes, put on the blindfold, and wait for me."

Hello, my beauty.

Which one would you like?

I need to hear what your fantasy is.

Im here to create an illusion for you, only the illusion.

I am a top, a master.

You are a bottom, a submissive.

Yet, were not different.

Were in unison to please each other.

Just tell me your wishes.

And welcome to my world.

I didnt know such a world existed.

Its a world in which you have all the choices.

Can I choose to be master?

The best submissives usually become the best masters.

Youre a victim in life. I will teach you to always be in total control.

You will never be a victim again, ever.

Never.

Ever.

I liked being in control. It felt safe.

But isnt there a happy medium?

Like, I tie you up one night, you tie me up the next night?

Of course, it would be nice not to be in control and still feel safe.

Have you ever?

Anyway, Diana.

I look forward to seeing you all during your visit.

My favorite Gilligan episode? Kurt Russell as the monkey boy.

-He was cute, even then. -I love that one! Do you remember that?

Kurt Russell was on the island. No one knew he was there.

Follow me, III lead you to our fantasy emporium...

...where you can choose one of our fantasies.

That sounds fun.

I had a fantasy about Skipper once.

Remember Skipper? He was chubby, but he was cute.

And we can also arrange for this fantasy called Love With a Stranger.

Or Having Sex With a Mysterious Lover.

A popular fantasy, especially among women.

No commitment. No wishing the guy calls the next day.

No shame or guilt. It wasnt your fault. You were seduced.

And you didnt even know his name.

Now, if youll follow me.

And this is another of Edens fantasies.

Enjoying the pleasure of total submissiveness to voice dominance.

And being titillated by command is nothing to be ashamed of.

Here we show the secretary dominating the boss...

...as one of the most common command fantasies.

Mr. Vanderway, what do you want? lts my lunch hour.

Do these documents over again in italics.

-And give me that letter immediately. -No.

What?

-Come crawl over here for it. -Crawl?

Mr. Vanderway, I want you to get down on your hands and knees...

...and crawl for my letter.

Yes, Miss Perkins.

Good boss.

As Mr. Vanderway obeys, they both examine the shadows of safe, sane...

...and submissive sexuality.

Our next fantasy is popular with both sexes.

Sex in Public.

The excitement of getting caught.

How many floors does it take you to make love?

In what position do you make love in an elevator?

Lets see.

It seems our Sex in Public fantasy is out of order.

Now, if youll follow me, well see enactments of the Roman bath.

I do it all the time. Its a real kick. Trust me.

-Roman baths. -I once had a terrible toothache in Rome.

Can you tell me where I can find Citizen Elliot?

Were not supposed to talk about....

I didn't know it at the time, but Omar was actually on my Fantasy Emporium tour.

If she didn't stop asking me about her teeth...

...I was gonna have to kill her.

No sign of Elliot, but two possible Ninas. How are you doing?

All right. This island is way over the top. Man, what a bunch of oddballs.

Will you lighten up? Theyre just expressing what most people suppress.

-On account of it should be suppressed. -Why? Theyre not hurting anybody.

Look, there are some things in life that are just better left undone.

Why cant these people think about it...

...instead of talking and acting out, for heavens sake.

It probably gets them past the game-playing?

There was a very interesting scene over there.

There was a business man, this secretary came in--

What are you saying? Youre being sucked in--

-Excuse me. -Yes.

-Everyones got to keep up with the group. -Im so sorry.

I think the maintenance man has a little crush on me.

Lt. Malone had said to look for strange behavior.

Well, here, it was hard to tell.

The rest of the day, I looked for Omar.

Omar looked for Elliot.

My "God, I'm good" partner, Fred, concluded that the obvious Mrs. Randy...

...was, in fact, Nina.

He watched her, hoping she'd lead us to Omar.

We came up empty, because Elliot was on the other side...

...of the island doing work detail.

So I decided to treat myself to a massage.

Tommy. Lower.

-Lower? -In fact, no, higher.

What the hell? Any way you like.

Mistress Lisa actually ran a nice place. She designed all the clothes herself.

Her idea was to create these outfits that were...

...as far away from reality as possible.

Our first day on the island, and we made no progress.

Fred took the night shift and almost got electrocuted.

As for me, I went to bed quietly with a book.

Hey! No panting after 2:00 a.m.!

Turned out to be a busy night around the island.

Mistress Lisa's lights were on pretty late.

Stand here and face the fireplace.

Wait.

Dont be so nosy.

Come in here.

Take off that robe.

Bathe me.

I wanna know you.

I dont even know your last name.

Tell me.

You have to go along with the illusion, or else it doesnt work.

Now bathe me.

You know how some men like womens legs?

Some like big breasts.

Some like long hair.

You know what I like?

I like butts.

Mens beautiful behinds.

You know what I like to do to gorgeous butts?

I like to squeeze them, pinch them...

...and caress them.

You know what else I love?

I like to rub my bare breasts...

...down your back...

...and over your butt.

You like that, dont you?

You know what I like the best?

What I like best is....

-You like that, dont you? -No.

Oh, yes.

You are going to be punished with pleasure.

Ive heard youre fearless...

...that nothing scares you.

Please, dont blindfold me.

Im covering your eyes, so you can concentrate on what youre feeling.

You like that.

-Tell me you like that. -No.

You like that? Being punished by a woman?

No.

-I think you like it. -No.

I give you permission to like it. Tell me.

No. I dont like it.

You like that?

-Do you want me to stop? -No.

Do you like it?

Tell me, or III stop.

Tell me.

Yes.

-Louder. I cant hear you. -I cant.

-Why? -I dont know.

-Are you ashamed of it? -Yes.

Its all right, Elliot. You can say it. You can like it.

Youre allowed here. Do you like it?

Tell me. Do you like it?

Yes.

I do like it.

Thats it.

Let it go.

Good.

Its okay, baby.

Let it out.

Can I stay here tonight?

Yes.

On the floor, Citizen Elliot.

-Would you like a pillow? -No, thank you.

Good night.

Lisa....

Good night.

Lucy. Sorry.

Tommy. I cant believe they dont have locks on this door.

What are you doing here?

I saw you with that mask, and I thought you wanted to play bandit girl.

-No. -Come on.

-Ill let you capture me. -No, actually, this is a sleeping mask.

See those tiki torches out there? I felt like I was on an airport runway.

Are there any other fun games you might wanna play?

Sleeping. Sleepings fun for me. Im gonna get back to it right now, in fact.

Im gonna dream about fantasies that maybe we can do some other time, okay?

All right.

-Lucy? -Yes?

I could sleep on the floor by you and wake you up in the morning.

I dont really need a human alarm clock.

I could use a human door lock.

Why dont you go lay in front of the door, and you can play guard boy?

-Guard boy. I can do that. -You like that?

All right, Tommy. Go ahead. Run along.

-You got it. -See you in the morning.

Ill be stepping over you. Okay.

-Bye. -Good to see you.

Thanks for stopping in.

This pleasure island is starting to get to me.

Its affecting my work now. Like today, I mean, I went berserk.

Nobody seemed to care.

Their sex sensors are numb.

Well, the flesh is weak.

And I think about other things to distract myself.

Small-engine repair.

Elliot, I was just dreaming.

What are you doing?

Allow me to please you.

You dont have to do anything. Just let me please you.

Elliot.

Yes.

-What are you doing? -I'm kissing you. Do you mind?

You know, its like, you see the flesh all the time, the nakedness.

But is the anticipation more exciting, or the actual naked flesh itself?

Trying to sort it all out. A little confused.

I dont care. Im reading the last page.

Lisa Emerson.

Why did I tell him my name?

Our second day on the island was Sports Day.

Faster, come on.

Peanuts. Fresh peanuts over here.

The roller race is open to guests, trainers and citizens.

The victor will win a private audience with Mistress Lisa.

Exhibition tennis is available on the upper level.

We hope you all participate in Sports Day.

-All right, Lucy. Show em what you got. -Come on, serve it.

Thats the man. I got it.

Erotic art here. Art through the ages.

Ben Wah balls!

-What are they used for? -Can I buy that?

Marital aids, marital aids, come vibrate with me.

Wanna punish me for those two points?

No, I think I'd like to go down to the beach now.

-Hey, how are you doing? -All right.

-Kicked ass in volleyball. -I knew you had it in you.

Its tough to spike in curtains.

My mother had that pattern in her living room.

-Have you seen Slater around? -No.

We gotta solve this case soon, because hanging around here...

...I am so horny. You ever get horny?

In high school.

-I am getting so aroused. -Spare me.

Is this really where were all headed?

Some, yes. Some of us, no.

-Youre a hit. -What?

Everyones talking about you. They want you in the ring toss.

-What? -Something about your physical. Big boy?

-Get out of here. -Im getting aggressive.

Im requesting Citizen Elliot to my room.

-Im on the job. Ill see you later. -Ill be weeding.

Fix that gong. Im sick of seeing broken gongs all over this island.

Citizen Julie, report to the sticky-buns booth.

Thats me. Excuse me. On my way.

Big boy, huh?

End of the line, maam.

Id heard from my slave man, Tommy, that the people in work detail...

...were being let off to participate in Sports Day.

I thought there was finally a chance to request Slater.

Come in.

-This is Citizen Elliot, as you requested. -Thank you.

-Hi. -Hello.

Lucy.

What would you like to do? Perhaps a massage?

This is my first time. I was hoping maybe we could talk first.

Do you think we could do this after lunch?

Whats the matter, cant talk on an empty stomach?

-No, its not that. -Its my hair, isnt it?

-What? -Its my hair. You can say.

I can see it. Its limp. Its stringy. Its not hanging right.

No, not at all. Youre very nice, Lucy. Its just, well, the race is about to start.

Oh, that rollerblading thing. Yes, I hear the announcements.

Lucky me. I get the room right next to the gong.

I wanted to enter that race.

Oh, really? Did you hear first prize? You get to spend time with Mistress Lisa.

Yeah, I want that privilege.

-You got a crush? -We just got to know each other a little.

You have a big crush.

-It sounds pretty corny. -What?

Just relax, breathe, pretend lm Oprah. Come on, you can tell me.

Okay.

Have you ever been with somebody that actually made violin music...

...play in your head?

Skinny girls hear violins. Not-so-skinny girls hear French horns.

I know what you mean.

-Did you tell her? -I wish I could.

Thats the problem, I cant. I dont know how.

I cant get close to her. She wont talk to me.

Thats tough. You know, scary.

You tell someone, you dont know what theyll say.

Once a year, I go to the Grand Canyon.

I scream, I like you, just so I can hear back, I like you, I like you.

Attention skaters. Last call for the rollerblade race.

Go on, get out of here.

-I promise III come back. -All right.

Here, hold this.

-Hey, Elliot? -Yeah?

-I hear youre a photographer. -Yeah.

Think you can take some pictures for me?

No, they took my camera away from me and stuck it in storage with my other stuff.

I dont know where it is.

-Really? Has anyone else requested you? -No, lve been on work detail.

Just curious. Go ahead. Youre late.

-Thank you. -Hey, Elliot?

-Be careful out there. -Your hair is just fine.

You think?

A guy takes off his pants to leave my room.

Skaters, take your places.

On your marks.

-Get set. -Wait!

And theyre off.

-What the hell was that? -Hey, wait! You forgot your number!

The race turned out to be the turning point in the investigation.

Go, Elliot!

Slater was out there for all the world to see, including Omar.

Come on!

Fred was supposed to cover the event, but he had to feed the fish.

If you ask me, they feed those fish too much. Those are chubby koi.

Elliot was no Olympic skater, but he gave it his all.

Yes!

He won.

-The winner is Citizen.... -Citizen Elliot.

Citizen Elliot. His number must have been torn off from passion.

Heres your number.

Its my lucky number.

-Riba, lm sorry. -Its okay.

Are you ready for us? Do you wanna do a threesome?

Well, not really.

Watching you two will be such a joy. My names Tillington, from Guilford.

Congratulations on the race. You were very good.

Thank you.

Mistress Lisa....

After the race, Omar made his move. And lucky for us, so did Mistress Lisa.

-I think it would be a good idea. -Good.

Im sorry. I cant allow this. We dont permit voyeurism.

But thats my fantasy.

Citizen Elliot hasnt completed his training.

-Send him to his quarters. -I dont mind if he hasnt finished.

-Now, Richard. -Citizens quarters.

-Lets go, Citizen Elliot. -Im sorry, Mr....

-Tillington, from Guilford. -From Guilford, thats right.

Im sure Kitty can find many ways to please you.

Yeah, lets go get Citizen Joy. Shes really pretty, and shes got peanuts.

I dont want peanuts.

-Do you have a problem with that, Richard? -No, Mistress.

If I may....

You may not.

Since when dont we permit voyeurism?

Since Mistress Lisa started to get soft on a citizen.

We should give Elliot to a harsher guest.

Come in.

Im sorry. Were not going to be able to grant your request.

Elliot Slater is with another guest.

-With who? -Mrs. Randy.

Sorry. Maybe tomorrow.

Come in.

Mrs. Randy, Citizen Elliot is here for your pleasure.

I guess lm your fantasy.

Quiet. Down on your knees.

Kiss my thigh.

Come on.

God, youre so boring. Cant you do anything right?

Now, turn around.

Were going to play a game, a question game.

And the question game has only one question.

-Where is the camera? -Hello?

Is Elliot Slater.... What are you doing with him?

-Anything I like. Do you mind? -As a matter of fact, I do.

You see, I have a 2:30 appointment with him. Hes mine.

-I got all dressed up in this outfit-- -Spare me the details.

Get out of my room.

Do you have a confirmation?

-A confirmation? -Yes, a confirmation.

No, I wasnt given one.

Well, guess what? I was. Your loss. Get with the program.

You, with me, now.

Get up. Take off the robe. I like that thong thing. Walk tall.

Tell me I look gorgeous from behind.

You blew it again, and this time you werent even sneezing.

-You could have helped. -No, you do the killing, I do the thinking.

Now what?

You stay here, and you wait.

I know that New York girl. I know that sound.

-Whats going on? -Listen, lm not a dental hygienist.

My name is not Lucy Smith. I did not come to this island to have fun.

I came to this island for one reason.

-Elliot. -Yeah?

-You are to go on work detail now. -No. Hey!

Mistress Lisas orders supersede everything.

Andre will be happy to find you a replacement.

Well, I dont want a replacement! I would like Elliot!

Hey, Skin and Bones! You, Toothpick Girl!

How can I fulfill your fantasy?

Go paint my house.

-This fruit plate will be better for you. -Thanks.

Now, thats an outfit to crawl for.

May I do my specialty?

No, I dont feel like having my toes sucked right now.

-You sure? -Yes, I am.

-Listen-- -May I feed you?

No, you can answer a question for me, though.

If I wanted to find out where Citizen Elliot was, how would I go about it?

Are you gonna replace me?

No, never.

Then, why?

I just need to talk to him. Can you go get him for me?

-Right away. -Yes, thank you.

You know, its a lot quicker if you walk.

Look at this, he took out the seeds.

Mistress!

Here are his bags.

-Tommy brought them from storage. -Look at the way he packs.

Hes changing his clothes. He thinks this is his special meeting for winning the race.

I made a fool of myself at that race...

...hopping off my horse like some jealous birdbrain.

-Why didnt you stop me? -Im only a citizen.

Ive trained hundreds of men and women.

Ive created fantasies for them.

Ive gotten them in touch with their deepest feelings.

How come this photographers gotten to me?

-Im only a citizen. -Will you stop saying that?

Youve watched me train, youre smart, youre going to be a trainer yourself.

So tell me, what do you think?

Maybe this Elliot opened up your feelings a little bit.

-I dont want to hear that. -Sorry.

Mistress Lisa?

I finally get to spend some time with you...

...alone?

Why are my bags here? Am I moving in?

I have a very important job here...

...that I like, and lm good at it.

And you have become a disruptive influence.

Its my fault as much as it is yours.

So, lm afraid you have to leave Eden. Heres your money back.

Diana will make arrangements for you to get home.

Have a good trip.

Excuse me.

What happened between last night and this morning?

Last night, you had a wonderful bondage fantasy and I helped you accept it.

Thats what we do here.

-It wasnt real. -Yes, but afterwards.

Im a professional, and I let it get personal, and thats why you have to leave.

One condition: you come with me.

-I cant do that. -Come on, I won the race.

You owe me time. Come with me. We can go away for a weekend.

-I have money. -Elliot....

Diana says you love the South. We can go to New Orleans.

-You like New Orleans. -I dont have time.

And lm not interested in relationship stuff.

Its not serious. We can stay in separate rooms.

We just have fun.

We go away, we have fun, and we see if you and I are real.

I cant believe you want to deny what we feel.

Youre so sweet.

-Sweet? -Yeah.

She says lm sweet.

Sweet means III end up in New Orleans alone, listening to a banjo.

All right, III think about it.

Okay.

We are going.

Diana?

I just brought Elliots luggage to Mistress Lisa. That means hes being sent away.

-Sent away where? -I dont know. Only she would know.

But if youre looking for two guys, Citizen Lars is available.

Actually, no!

lts my dream just to make you happy.

Yeah, you and every man. I really have to see Mistress Lisa.

Thats my thigh there, Tom.

No, my breasts.

Okay, listen, why dont you take a shower? How about that?

Maybe do some pushups, who knows? Fix the room. It could use a little spackle.

Dont you think?

Got to run. Love to stay and talk. Ill be back before you can say fetish.

I hate these garters.

You like this?

Are you enjoying your stay on the island?

You know, the secrets to get involved, to get with the program.

This better be important.

-Is your mistress here? -What?

-Is your mistress here? -No. She went to see Mistress Lisa.

-Alone? -Yes.

Take care of the get-with-the-program girl, III go find our photographer.

Ill meet you out by the golf cart.

Pleasure to meet you.

That was nice.

This better be important. Im a busy man.

Mistress Lisa took a cart.

-So? -She was with Citizen Elliot.

They had luggage, they talked about New Orleans...

...they went toward her plane.

The whereabouts of Mistress Lisa is privileged information.

Is that so? lm a cop. LAPD. Where is she?

She and Citizen Elliot left the island. Whats wrong?

Nothing yet. Can you do me a favor?

Can you go get that new maintenance man, that Marv....

-Greenway. Utica, New York. -Right.

-Absolutely. -Thank you very much.

Here we go.

Bingo.

Get off of me!

Whoa! Pardonnez-moi!

Shes trying to kill me, you idiot!

-Cuff her! -I dont have any cuffs!

The only two people on this island without handcuffs!

-Let me go! -Wheres Slater?

He left with Lisa. No sign of Omar.

Tie her up.

Nina Blackstone....

Are you gonna tell us where your partner is?

I dont know what youre talking about. Im a guest here.

Right. Listen to me!

-Dont bite him! -Let me go! Youve made a mistake!

Youre under arrest.

-Read her her rights. -You have the right to remain silent.

-Anything you say will be used against you. -Stop it!

-Keep your toes down! -No!

-No? -No.

Now, that is something I would not have been capable of.

My deductions are saying Omar is still on this rock.

But we still dont know what he looks like.

Yes, I'd like to put a person-to-person call through to New Orleans, please.

Will you stop a minute? lm trying to talk business.

We take him out on the Avenue tonight.

We all point to him and say, Hey, theres Tom Cruise!

He sells his autograph, and we split the money.

-He doesnt look like Tom Cruise. -My wife thinks he looks like Tom Cruise.

-Speak. -Latte?

-Yeah. -Omar.

Mr. Omar, how you doing? My dad gets out on parole in four months.

-I'm driving his cab. -Thats nice. You give him my best wishes.

I have to go to New Orleans for a couple of days. I need a favor.

You coming here? Great!

While we were turning Nina over to the San Diego Police...

...Omar was making plans to go kill Slater himself.

He hired a street-band musician, Latte Chavez, to help until he arrived.

-All right, lets go to work. -I know who it is. He looks like Brad Pitt.

He doesnt look like Brad Pitt either.

Brad Pitt? He looks like Tom Cruise!

Youre an awful lot of fun to be with.

I can be fun.

I just get paid to be mean.

Subjects A and B landed in a white, twin-engine Cessna 421...

...changed clothes at the River Terrace Hotel...

...and went immediately to Bourbon Street with the rest of the yahoos.

Latte out.

-Its Tom Cruise. -Its not.

-It is. -Its not.

-I swear it is. -Thats Brad Pitt.

-No, it is not! -It is.

Theyre on foot. Ive switched to a rented car...

...a sweet Beemer.

What do I like to do best in bed?

-I like to giggle. -Giggle?

Cuddle and giggle.

After a hard day of smacking people, its nice to cuddle.

Cuddle?

You mean, just cuddle?

The next morning, an island-hopping food-supply plane left Eden.

Stashed among the food was a Mr. Tillington of Guilford.

A credit-card check found Lisa and Elliot at a hotel in New Orleans.

We were on our way, racking up the frequent-flyer miles.

Come on, slowpoke, get dressed.

Its a beautiful day outside, and were going to have some fun.

What do you have there? lm starving.

Croissants from the French Quarter.

I dont need butter with my....

Now, pay attention. This is an old Australian recipe.

Thank you.

One stick of butter...

...at room temperature.

Did you see Last Tango in Paris?

No.

And a sprinkle...

...of cinnamon.

Australian kink.

Bon appetit.

Excuse me.

Im sorry.

Yes?

Mistress Lisa, this is Richard.

While you were kidnapping a guest, all hell broke loose here.

-I understand. I got it. -Did you know what Mrs.--

Who was that?

Richard.

Quite a mood breaker.

He thinks I kidnapped you.

He what?

I broke my own rule, taking you off the island.

-So are you going back? -I have to. Im the boss.

If lm the boss, why do I have to go?

I always wanted to go see New Orleans. Im here right now!

I dont know what lm doing.

And lm whining.

Come on.

-Where are we going? -Thats a surprise.

This is one of our loveliest antebellum mansions in the area.

Antebellum means anything...

...that was before the War of Northern Aggression.

Please, come right on in.

Yall watch your step, now. Be careful. And yes, you can take photographs in here.

-I always wanted to come here. -Why?

My mother was born in New Orleans.

-Speak. -Latte, I'm here!

What took you so long?

Now, yall can buy your souvenirs from the souvenir stand over there after the tour.

This is the famous Beauregard staircase.

Unfortunately, the second floor isnt open to us because of renovations...

...but lm sure well all be more than satisfied with the family heirlooms...

...were fixin to see downstairs.

Fred and I arrived in New Orleans...

...and found a guy in the Big Easy who really wasn't that easy.

Why are you busting our chops?

-Ill tell ya. I hate cops an awful lot. -Im gonna kill him.

And it doesnt matter that this is a life-and-death issue?

Nope.

Do you want us to bribe you with money?

Nope.

-You want to see me naked? -Now, thats an idea.

What do you think, Fred?

I think thats a US Code violation, Section 616, Subparagraph 5A.

-What would that be? -Sexual Harassment of a Peace Officer.

-Exactly what I thought. -Okay, you win.

She bought tour tickets: plantation, mansion, wanted to see Tara.

Come on, I dare you.

Yall follow me back to the gardens...

...where well view the jasmine-covered gazebo.

Watch your step, now. Flagstone is slippery.

Look.

Its a beautiful...

...bedroom.

I just thought it would be great to...

...be alone in a traditional Southern bedroom with....

No equipment.

Just us.

No party tricks.

You okay with that?

This lovely garden and charming tennis court...

...was the site of Mr. Beauregard's wedding...

...to the exquisite Miss Ophelia Prescott.

One of the most extravagant nuptials for the period...

...it epitomized the Romantic Era.

You okay?

Yeah, its....

I feel a little awkward in this position.

Just relax.

At 3:45, a tourist spotted a man fitting Omar's description...

...outside the Beauregard Mansion.

He was dressed to kill.

Every time you want a job done properly, you have to do it yourself.

Omar was running out of time, and he was running out of accents.

Hi, I wonder if you could help me.

Hi, I wonder if you could help me.

Did you see a young couple come in here a while back?

Shes very pretty, reddish-brown hair.

Shes my cousin Annabelle and her boyfriend.

Perhaps if you bought a fan.

Sure, III buy a fan. Ill have that one.

We have to leave this place exactly how we found it.

Yeah, sure.

This should be it.

Excuse me.

Mr. Tillington, what are you doing here?

Actually, lm here to take Mr. Slaters camera and all his film.

Why?

You were unfortunate enough to take a rare photograph of me.

In fact, the only photograph taken of me since the third grade.

The guy at the baggage claim!

The camera.

-Go downstairs, Lisa. -You sit still.

The camera.

-Theres the tour. -Yeah.

The camera!

-Take this side? -You bet!

Police!

Look, theyre reenacting something.

Police! Out of the way!

Look, that woman has a gun.

Is she on our tour?

Hold it!

I didnt. I swear, I couldnt.

Sorry lm late. I got hung up on the wisteria.

-Police! You okay? -Yeah.

Sheila, duck!

Reenactment, my ass!

Partner!

You look like Eva Marie Saint.

God, Fred, youre good.

LAPD! Hi!

Were tourists here, too! Were really enjoying Louisiana!

We love New Orleans! Who dat?

Omar survived the fall with two broken legs, two gunshot wounds...

...and he's now in traction.

His photograph was in over 65 newspapers, in color.

Summers. Whos Summers?

-Home with Mom and Dad like you? -Get out of there!

-You say he was trying to steal your purse? -He did take my purse.

And when you wouldnt give it to him, he punched you.

And when I was laying on the floor, he took my wallet and my keys.

-Did you get a good look at him? -Of course I did! It was my husband!

Why are you still with him?

Everything is in his name: the house, the car. Where am I supposed to live?

-How will I survive? -I dont know how you survived this long.

Its your fourth time this month.

Stop letting this man control your life.

You okay, lady?

But I dont even know if you can tell its Omar. I was shooting blind.

Well develop it and let you know. Thanks for all your help, okay?

-Hes all yours. -Id like to take that statement.

-Okay. -Miss Emerson, you all right?

-Yes, I would like to go. -Sure.

-Ill do my statement. It wont take long. -I want to go back to the hotel.

Listen, well just be down the hall. You can ask for the squad room. All right?

Come on, Fred.

Fred, come on.

-Why? -Come on, Fred!

You know, youve gotten real bossy since that damn island.

-You okay? -Just tired.

I thought I was going to lose you.

I love you, Lisa Emerson.

-I really need to get out of this building. -Okay.

Ill meet you back at the hotel, soon as I can.

Taxi!

Sheila, hi.

-Bonnie, how are you? -Great.

If you see Fred, would you tell him lm double-parked outside?

I sure will.

Thanks.

Youre welcome.

See you.

Nice seeing you...

...Bonnie.

Bye, thanks for your help.

I got that stuff faxed, so lm ready to take off.

Your ex-wife is here.

Shes outside. What is she doing in New Orleans?

I flew her in for the weekend.

Were actually talking about maybe taking a shot at putting it back together.

Thats nice.

See you in the office on Monday.

Nice job, partner.

Were both good.

Thanks.

Why are we pretending that your bag isnt buzzing?

-You bought a vibrator! -Just a razor.

-Fred got a vibrator! -Just a little....

I knew it! Yes, you did! I cant believe you!

-Did you get it on the island? -Yes.

They had a discount for employees. Its for Bonnie.

-See you back in LA, partner. -All right.

Im ovulating.

An egg was just released into my fallopian tube.

Another one just dropped. Its in my uterus.

I love that guy.

Hello?

-Hello, Mr. Slater. -Oh, it's you.

Try to control your excitement.

You left your broken camera here at the station.

You can send it over to me.

-She left? -How'd you know?

I can hear it in your voice. Im sorry.

She left a note. She went back to the island.

I have to go to the island tomorrow.

They found your film. If you want to hop a ride with me, III see what I can do.

I didnt hear what you said. Did you say.... Could you hold on a second?

I am on the phone here.

Sugar, calm down. Youre gonna have yourself a heart attack.

Sugar, calm down.

Hello?

Sugar, he hung up!

Mistress Lisa!

Theres a visitor here to see you.

-Heres the film. -Thank you very much.

-Thank you for saving my life. -Got a minute?

Sure.

This is none of my business, and you can tell me to butt out.

Elliot told me what happened.

Butt out.

You two seemed to have something special.

You said I could tell you to butt out.

I said you could tell me. I didnt say that I would do it.

You think I came all this way just to get the film?

Havent you heard of Federal Express?

Why did you come?

I wanted to talk to you about Elliot.

Theres nothing to talk about.

Lisa, listen to me.

-Lisa, Miss, Madam, Dominatrix.... -Wait, you listen to me.

You saw those women at the station?

Sure, I saw.

You know what they all had in common?

They all gave up control.

Come on, you cant run your life from a couple of poor souls down at a precinct.

I know a lot of women involved in healthy relationships.

Youre kind of corny for a cop.

Listen, lve had my share of bad times with men, okay?

Some are assholes, Elliot is not.

If we dont cultivate the good ones, there arent gonna be any.

Im sorry, I have to go.

For what its worth, Elliot told me to tell you theres an old Australian saying:

It aint over till the fat kangaroo sings.

Bye, Mistress Lisa.

Im going to take a nap. I dont want to be disturbed.

-Why are you smiling? -No reason at all.

You look....

I came back to get down on one knee and propose.

But it seems overdone, so I thought I'd try it this way.

Will you marry me?

You mean, like, leave here, meet your parents...

...buy a condo, holidays?

You want me to cook?

No, our marriage, love...

...family, fantasy, erotic, whatever we decide.

Can you help me? Diana tied this a little too tight.

-Babies and bondage, I could do both? -Yeah.

Id love to say, My wife is a dominatrix.

I could just see myself at the kids school on career day.

-I left New Orleans because-- -I dont want to know.

Im gonna love you forever.

-Even if lm scared? -Even if youre petrified.

Ill see you on the plane.

-I loved all the citizens: Art, Shawn-- -Thank you so much, really.

Sheila Kingston. Thank you.

Sheila.

I was ready to catch the boat. I wanted to say good-bye.

You look really good in clothes.

-What happened to your hand? -Nothing.

I didnt recognize you without your thong and chains.

-Did you get fired? -No, I dont work here.

I come here a couple of times a year just for a little fun and relaxation.

Sure, I see.

One of my factories is in Los Angeles...

-...where I hear youre with the police. -Yes, I am.

I wonder if maybe we could have dinner sometime?

-Really? -Yeah.

I dont know. I never really thought about it.

Take my card.

Youre a CEO.

Yes, I am.

-This is the final boarding call. -I have to go catch the plane.

-You look great. -You look great.

-Bye. -Ill see you.

Bye.

Bye.

-Did you see that? -C'est I'amour de jeunesse.

Au revoir. Croissant.

You know, I have always had this fantasy...

...about being with a kind man.

With an incredible derriere.

So, I'm a matchmaker.

Lisa and Elliot are getting married on July 4.

To send a present, they're registered at Tiffany's in the leather department.

Nina Blackstone is serving time in prison.

I hear she calls the bingo game every Friday night:

"B-14."

"N-21."

Omar got three life sentences, and with our parole system...

...will probably be out in three months.

I'm on my second date with CEO Tommy Miller.

He helped my fantasies come true last Saturday...

...by sending over four men who painted my house.

What did I learn from this case?

No matter what your sexual preference, true love is still the ultimate fantasy.

l-14.

B-6.

G-Whiz.

Listen, all of you people out there...

...don't kill anyone.

Prison stinks.