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Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
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What's wrong with the world?
I've just counted ten fat people.
3
00:00:27,796 --> 00:00:29,036
No. Eleven.
4
00:00:29,076 --> 00:00:33,836
Can YOU carry one of these bags?
No. I told you, my arm hurts.
5
00:00:33,876 --> 00:00:36,476
Pushing you away from me every night
for 50 years
6
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has taken its toll on my body.
7
00:00:38,316 --> 00:00:39,956
So has gravity.
8
00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:43,236
Besides, you're so much cleverer at
carrying things than I am.
9
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:44,956
I shall probably muck it all up.
10
00:00:44,996 --> 00:00:48,356
Why am I always better at the things
that you don't want to do?
11
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:49,956
I'm not your servant, Freddie.
12
00:00:49,996 --> 00:00:54,036
Stuart, I would never think of you
as my servant. Good.
13
00:00:54,076 --> 00:00:56,236
I think of you as my housekeeper.
14
00:00:56,276 --> 00:00:58,236
It's a more important contribution.
15
00:00:58,276 --> 00:01:01,036
What exactly is it that
YOU contribute?
16
00:01:01,076 --> 00:01:03,236
You haven't had an acting job
in months.
17
00:01:03,276 --> 00:01:05,316
That's because I'm at an awkward age.
18
00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:08,796
You have been at an awkward age
for three decades.
19
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:13,436
If I can just stick it out a bit
longer, I'll segue into a whole new
range of roles.
20
00:01:13,476 --> 00:01:15,156
Corpses?
21
00:01:18,516 --> 00:01:21,676
So, what is it you need to talk
to us about, Vi?
22
00:01:21,716 --> 00:01:26,156
Yes, Vi, we're all yours.
You take all the time you need.
23
00:01:26,196 --> 00:01:29,916
Thank you, darling.
Did you tell her we have
an appointment in 20 minutes?
24
00:01:30,996 --> 00:01:33,196
Good.
25
00:01:33,236 --> 00:01:35,316
We don't really have an appointment,
do we?
26
00:01:36,156 --> 00:01:37,756
Good.
27
00:01:37,796 --> 00:01:40,716
It concerns my husband Jasper.
28
00:01:40,756 --> 00:01:43,996
Oh, that's right.
I keep forgetting you're married.
29
00:01:44,036 --> 00:01:46,356
Well, apparently so does he.
30
00:01:46,396 --> 00:01:50,676
You see, I haven't seen Jasper since
we returned from our honeymoon.
31
00:01:50,716 --> 00:01:52,876
It seems he's disappeared.
32
00:01:52,916 --> 00:01:54,876
Oh, poor Violet.
33
00:01:54,916 --> 00:01:58,556
If there's anything you need...
Oh thank you, Stuart.
34
00:01:59,636 --> 00:02:01,356
No, don't touch the cheese.
35
00:02:01,396 --> 00:02:03,396
It's just for show.
36
00:02:04,676 --> 00:02:06,476
Awfully sorry.
37
00:02:06,516 --> 00:02:10,116
But I don't understand. Why didn't
you say anything BEFORE this?
38
00:02:10,156 --> 00:02:12,476
I suppose I was ashamed.
39
00:02:12,516 --> 00:02:15,116
Perhaps I can say something to make
you feel better.
40
00:02:15,156 --> 00:02:17,196
Would you like that?
Very much, darling.
41
00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:19,396
You have nothing to be ashamed
about,
42
00:02:19,436 --> 00:02:21,076
so you hold your head up high.
43
00:02:21,116 --> 00:02:25,196
Even though people are going to see
you as pathetic and rejected,
44
00:02:25,236 --> 00:02:28,596
cast off, abandoned, unlovable.
45
00:02:29,956 --> 00:02:32,996
I've changed my mind, I'd rather you
didn't make me feel better.
46
00:02:34,476 --> 00:02:37,476
Of course. When you're ready,
you just let me know.
47
00:02:39,436 --> 00:02:41,276
Hello, Ash!
Hi!
48
00:02:41,316 --> 00:02:43,596
Can I tell Ash?
I think maybe I'D like to.
49
00:02:43,636 --> 00:02:46,596
Violet's husband has left her.
50
00:02:46,636 --> 00:02:47,756
I'm sorry, Violet.
51
00:02:47,796 --> 00:02:51,956
He didn't leave me, he just seems to
have stepped out for a few weeks.
52
00:02:51,996 --> 00:02:55,676
I'm sure he'll turn up soon and
then we'll all laugh about it.
53
00:02:55,716 --> 00:02:58,596
You hold on to that thought, dear.
54
00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:01,836
Now I feel bad about coming round to
talk about my new girlfriend.
55
00:03:01,876 --> 00:03:02,996
You should do!
56
00:03:03,036 --> 00:03:06,396
Of course not, Ash,
I'm very happy for you.
57
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:10,996
Thanks, Violet. I only hope
she's able to... satisfy you,
58
00:03:11,036 --> 00:03:15,036
because if she's not able to satisfy
you... She is! She totally is.
59
00:03:15,876 --> 00:03:17,916
Good.
60
00:03:17,956 --> 00:03:19,756
How, exactly?
61
00:03:20,476 --> 00:03:22,996
Stuart? Drinks.
I see lots of empty glasses.
62
00:03:23,556 --> 00:03:26,996
Stop treating me like a servant,
Freddie.
63
00:03:27,036 --> 00:03:29,156
I told you, I don't like it!
64
00:03:29,196 --> 00:03:31,436
You'll notice he still gets
the drinks.
65
00:03:32,716 --> 00:03:34,996
Oh, I have a fun idea.
66
00:03:35,036 --> 00:03:39,676
Why don't we all take you out to
dinner, to cheer you up, Violet?
67
00:03:39,716 --> 00:03:43,316
Oh, I've been dying to try
that new sushi restaurant.
68
00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:47,516
Yes and why not eat monkeys' brains
too, while we're at it?
69
00:03:48,476 --> 00:03:51,036
Oh, don't be so ignorant, Freddie.
70
00:03:51,076 --> 00:03:57,836
I'm sure it's not all... bizarre,
uncooked, stinky God-knows-what.
71
00:03:57,876 --> 00:04:01,276
Are you coming, Ash? Sorry,
I've got plans with my girlfriend.
72
00:04:01,316 --> 00:04:03,636
Please stop talking about your
girlfriend!
73
00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:07,676
Can't you see this woman is all
alone, terrified and forgotten?
74
00:04:07,716 --> 00:04:10,076
She's got nobody!
75
00:04:10,836 --> 00:04:13,836
Can you believe how insensitive
he's being?
76
00:04:18,156 --> 00:04:21,876
Who's paying for this, anyway?
We all are, Mason.
77
00:04:21,916 --> 00:04:24,036
It's to make Violet feel better
78
00:04:24,076 --> 00:04:26,316
because her husband has been
so awful to her.
79
00:04:26,356 --> 00:04:28,076
Then shouldn't HE be paying?
80
00:04:28,116 --> 00:04:31,436
Where's Violet?
We've been waiting ages.
81
00:04:31,476 --> 00:04:36,036
Yes, and I can't stay much longer.
Why? Where do you have to go?
82
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:39,956
I do have a life outside of all of
you. No, you don't.
83
00:04:39,996 --> 00:04:42,676
Please tell Violet
I'm sorry I missed her.
84
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,276
You can't go!
85
00:04:44,316 --> 00:04:46,116
The only reason we invited you
86
00:04:46,156 --> 00:04:48,956
is so that we'd have another person
to split the bill with.
87
00:04:48,996 --> 00:04:52,556
Yes, I realise that now,
and it's so expensive too.
88
00:04:55,476 --> 00:04:56,676
Bugger!
89
00:04:56,716 --> 00:04:58,876
Everybody order one thing.
No drinks.
90
00:04:59,676 --> 00:05:01,196
I'm sorry I'm late, everyone.
91
00:05:01,236 --> 00:05:06,116
Oh, my goodness, Violet! Imagine
seeing you here in Japan.
92
00:05:06,156 --> 00:05:07,956
We're not in Japan!
93
00:05:07,996 --> 00:05:11,556
You didn't miss anything, Vi,
only Mason being an arsehole.
94
00:05:11,596 --> 00:05:13,996
Let me just get settled.
95
00:05:21,436 --> 00:05:24,556
I'm in a frightful state.
We see that.
96
00:05:24,596 --> 00:05:26,876
Does it have anything to do with
your husband?
97
00:05:27,596 --> 00:05:29,676
In a way.
98
00:05:30,636 --> 00:05:33,916
I just got an email from my sister.
99
00:05:33,956 --> 00:05:35,716
She's coming to visit.
100
00:05:35,756 --> 00:05:38,076
You've never mentioned a sister.
101
00:05:38,116 --> 00:05:41,356
Well, Lillian and I haven't seen
each other in years.
102
00:05:41,396 --> 00:05:43,916
She married a wealthy man
and moved away,
103
00:05:43,956 --> 00:05:47,636
and since then she's always looked
down on me.
104
00:05:47,676 --> 00:05:49,356
I've no idea why.
105
00:05:49,396 --> 00:05:52,396
Perhaps because your life never
amounted to much?
106
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:57,516
I have something to tell you, but
I don't want you to think me uncouth.
107
00:05:57,556 --> 00:06:00,636
You just pulled a bottle of vodka
out of your bag!
108
00:06:00,676 --> 00:06:03,076
It's a little late for that,
don't you think?
109
00:06:03,116 --> 00:06:05,596
I lied to Lillian.
110
00:06:05,636 --> 00:06:08,876
When I got married, I told her Jasper
was very successful
111
00:06:08,916 --> 00:06:12,716
and we lived in a grand flat
with a staff of servants.
112
00:06:12,756 --> 00:06:16,716
Now when she arrives tomorrow,
she's going to learn the truth,
113
00:06:16,756 --> 00:06:20,156
that he left me and I've got...
nothing.
114
00:06:21,356 --> 00:06:25,596
What if I had an idea that could
solve everything?
115
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,516
That's impossible.
116
00:06:27,556 --> 00:06:30,636
The only way you could solve this is
with some elaborate deception
117
00:06:30,676 --> 00:06:32,676
where one of us pretends to be Vi's
husband
118
00:06:32,716 --> 00:06:35,916
and the rest of us pose as
the household staff.
119
00:06:35,956 --> 00:06:40,236
And of course we'd have to do it
in our flat. Hers is a hellhole.
120
00:06:40,276 --> 00:06:42,436
THAT was my idea.
121
00:06:42,476 --> 00:06:44,916
Well, that could work.
122
00:06:44,956 --> 00:06:49,316
I had a great time tonight,
and even though it hasn't been long,
123
00:06:49,356 --> 00:06:51,396
I feel like I know you really well,
Jessica.
124
00:06:51,436 --> 00:06:54,076
My name's not Jessica. It's Jess.
125
00:06:54,116 --> 00:06:57,036
Oh, I thought it was short for
Jessica. It's not.
126
00:06:57,756 --> 00:07:01,116
Well, aside from not knowing your
name,
127
00:07:01,156 --> 00:07:03,396
I feel like we've got really close.
128
00:07:03,436 --> 00:07:05,916
I do, too.
129
00:07:06,876 --> 00:07:08,756
Hey, do you wanna get
some ice cream?
130
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:10,196
Sure.
131
00:07:14,436 --> 00:07:18,076
I was thinking,
do you want to move in with me?
132
00:07:18,116 --> 00:07:22,236
I haven't even met your family yet.
You will soon, I promise.
133
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,476
Then you'll definitely want to move
in with me!
134
00:07:25,516 --> 00:07:29,076
We'll see. I still don't know
that much about you, Ash.
135
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:32,916
Well, I already know all I need
to know about you, Jessica. Jess.
136
00:07:33,676 --> 00:07:34,916
Shit!
137
00:07:36,316 --> 00:07:39,316
I can't thank you enough for doing
this for me, Stuart.
138
00:07:39,356 --> 00:07:42,276
Not Stuart! Jasper!
139
00:07:42,316 --> 00:07:45,156
Your loving and successful husband!
140
00:07:45,196 --> 00:07:47,036
Right.
141
00:07:47,076 --> 00:07:48,836
Oh, I hope this works.
142
00:07:48,876 --> 00:07:51,036
Look, it's only one lunch.
143
00:07:51,076 --> 00:07:53,236
Then Lillian has to catch her train.
144
00:07:53,276 --> 00:07:55,836
Oh, she should be here any moment.
Where's Freddie?
145
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:58,156
Why do I have to be the butler?
146
00:08:00,676 --> 00:08:02,996
It's much more believable
if I'm the husband.
147
00:08:03,036 --> 00:08:06,116
Well you're the one who pinched the
costume,
148
00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:08,196
from when you were on Downton Abbey.
149
00:08:09,396 --> 00:08:10,836
They gave it to me.
150
00:08:10,876 --> 00:08:13,316
Besides, you're never going to pass
as straight.
151
00:08:13,356 --> 00:08:16,516
You're making that rug gay
just by standing on it!
152
00:08:16,556 --> 00:08:19,316
Oh, I can pass as straight.
153
00:08:19,356 --> 00:08:22,716
After all, I have had sex with
a woman.
154
00:08:22,756 --> 00:08:24,596
Yes, over 50 years ago.
155
00:08:24,636 --> 00:08:27,396
Well, I imagine it still all works
the same, doesn't it?
156
00:08:32,196 --> 00:08:34,436
More or less.
157
00:08:34,476 --> 00:08:37,356
It's changed a bit over the years.
158
00:08:37,396 --> 00:08:40,516
I can't even tell you the things
we're expected to do now.
159
00:08:46,796 --> 00:08:48,796
I only do them to be polite.
160
00:08:49,876 --> 00:08:54,156
I guarantee that I will be able
to pass as straight, Freddie!
161
00:08:54,196 --> 00:08:56,396
Perhaps if you don't move
or open your mouth.
162
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,956
Anyone can see that you should be
the servant.
163
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:00,676
Now what is that supposed to mean?
164
00:09:00,716 --> 00:09:04,396
Nothing, just that you look and
behave like a servant, that's all.
165
00:09:04,436 --> 00:09:06,916
Well, you're an actor.
Think of it as a role.
166
00:09:07,836 --> 00:09:10,356
Yes, of course. I am an actor.
167
00:09:10,396 --> 00:09:13,916
This could be the greatest
performance of my career.
168
00:09:15,316 --> 00:09:19,276
All right, take it down a notch,
Sir Laurence Olivi-gay.
169
00:09:19,316 --> 00:09:22,116
Oh, that's Lillian.
170
00:09:22,156 --> 00:09:24,036
Oh, good luck, everyone.
171
00:09:32,356 --> 00:09:34,356
Well, you're the butler.
Go and answer it!
172
00:09:35,236 --> 00:09:37,236
Oh, yes!
173
00:09:39,516 --> 00:09:41,916
Wait. What's my name?
Freddie!
174
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:44,196
Freddie.
175
00:09:44,236 --> 00:09:45,356
Got it.
176
00:09:47,996 --> 00:09:49,156
Hello, Vi!
177
00:09:49,196 --> 00:09:50,676
Tut tut tut tut tut.
178
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:53,156
No speaking until you've been
announced.
179
00:09:53,196 --> 00:09:56,916
Name, please?
Lillian Haverfield-Wickham.
180
00:09:56,956 --> 00:09:59,316
No, I didn't get that. Speak up.
181
00:09:59,356 --> 00:10:01,516
Lillian Haverfield-Wickham.
Yes.
182
00:10:01,556 --> 00:10:04,716
May I present the Lady...
Are you a Lady?
183
00:10:04,756 --> 00:10:06,796
No.
184
00:10:07,916 --> 00:10:10,876
Well, may I present the perfectly
ordinary person, then,
185
00:10:10,916 --> 00:10:13,556
Lillian Hooverdamp-Woosenfield?
186
00:10:19,196 --> 00:10:21,316
All right, go and say hello.
We're finished.
187
00:10:22,196 --> 00:10:25,676
Violet, dearest!
Lillian, darling.
188
00:10:25,716 --> 00:10:28,676
It's been so long.
Let me look at you.
189
00:10:30,036 --> 00:10:32,196
OK, I'm finished.
190
00:10:32,236 --> 00:10:33,756
And you must be Jasper.
191
00:10:38,236 --> 00:10:40,076
I'm very glad to meet you.
192
00:10:40,116 --> 00:10:44,316
Ow! Violet didn't tell me
how handsome you were.
193
00:10:44,356 --> 00:10:46,716
Oh, my goodness, thank you!
194
00:10:50,036 --> 00:10:51,236
I mean, thank you.
195
00:10:52,556 --> 00:10:57,236
Violet speaks so highly of you,
usually after we've had sex.
196
00:11:00,556 --> 00:11:03,236
How odd.
Oh, you must forgive Jasper,
197
00:11:03,276 --> 00:11:05,436
he has an insatiable sexual
appetite.
198
00:11:05,476 --> 00:11:08,956
Yes, I can't get enough of this one!
199
00:11:08,996 --> 00:11:11,636
Mwah! Mwaaah! Mwah!
200
00:11:11,676 --> 00:11:14,516
Shall I find you something
to vomit in, madam?
201
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,076
I'm all right for the time being,
thank you.
202
00:11:19,916 --> 00:11:22,476
All right, don't just stand there,
take the lady's coat!
203
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,636
All right, calm down.
204
00:11:24,676 --> 00:11:25,796
May I?
205
00:11:25,836 --> 00:11:28,076
I love your flat.
Oh, thank you.
206
00:11:28,116 --> 00:11:31,596
- Why are YOU thanking me?
- It's not your flat.
207
00:11:33,036 --> 00:11:35,636
I beg your pardon,
but the master is so kind
208
00:11:35,676 --> 00:11:38,796
that I often think of this home
as my own.
209
00:11:38,836 --> 00:11:42,396
You see, I never came from much.
210
00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:44,236
Mother died when I was six...
211
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:48,516
..and then they sent me off to the
workhouse
212
00:11:48,556 --> 00:11:51,156
and this is the only family
I've ever known.
213
00:11:51,196 --> 00:11:53,316
What a touching story.
214
00:11:53,356 --> 00:11:55,596
They do get attached.
215
00:11:55,636 --> 00:11:59,516
All right, pull yourself together
or it's back to the workhouse.
216
00:12:01,396 --> 00:12:03,956
Why don't we have some tea?
217
00:12:12,116 --> 00:12:15,436
I'm about to introduce you to the
most important people in my life,
Jess.
218
00:12:15,476 --> 00:12:17,516
I'm so excited.
Oh, I hope they like me.
219
00:12:17,556 --> 00:12:21,356
I know they will. You'll never meet
more authentic people than these.
220
00:12:22,756 --> 00:12:24,916
Master Ar-sh to see you.
221
00:12:25,756 --> 00:12:29,156
Ash, darling, come to Mummy!
222
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:37,392
We weren't expecting you home
this early, son, were we, dearest?
223
00:12:37,432 --> 00:12:40,152
Yum yum yum!
224
00:12:40,192 --> 00:12:42,272
No, we weren't.
225
00:12:43,752 --> 00:12:45,792
O...K.
226
00:12:46,752 --> 00:12:49,192
Aren't you going to introduce me
to everybody, Ash?
227
00:12:53,752 --> 00:12:55,952
Maybe they should introduce
themselves first!
228
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:59,512
I'm Ash's father, Jasper, dear,
229
00:12:59,552 --> 00:13:04,352
and this ravishing creature
is my wife Violet.
230
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:08,952
And I'm Ash's stepmother, darling,
but we've become incredibly close.
231
00:13:08,992 --> 00:13:11,752
Now, give Mummy a kiss.
232
00:13:25,832 --> 00:13:28,792
Ash is from my first marriage.
233
00:13:28,832 --> 00:13:30,912
I've had sex with a lot of women.
234
00:13:34,352 --> 00:13:36,392
I'm Freddie the butler.
235
00:13:36,432 --> 00:13:38,432
You see, I never came from much.
236
00:13:40,432 --> 00:13:43,952
Mother died when I was six...
Nobody wants to hear all that again.
237
00:13:43,992 --> 00:13:45,792
Go and fill some glasses.
238
00:13:45,832 --> 00:13:49,032
Oh, yes, I believe you mentioned
Jasper had a son.
239
00:13:49,072 --> 00:13:51,272
I never knew you could be
so maternal.
240
00:13:51,312 --> 00:13:52,912
I'm very maternal.
241
00:13:52,952 --> 00:13:57,992
Sometimes when Ash has a nightmare,
he even climbs into bed with us.
242
00:13:59,032 --> 00:14:00,192
No, I don't.
243
00:14:00,232 --> 00:14:03,872
Oh, that's so sweet. And unusual.
244
00:14:05,432 --> 00:14:09,352
Didn't you also tell me he was
a champion gymnast, Violet?
245
00:14:10,832 --> 00:14:12,152
I did.
246
00:14:12,192 --> 00:14:15,512
Why would you say that, Mum?
247
00:14:16,312 --> 00:14:19,592
Oh, do something for us.
A back flip perhaps?
248
00:14:19,632 --> 00:14:21,032
I'd rather not.
249
00:14:21,072 --> 00:14:23,552
I didn't know you were a gymnast.
250
00:14:23,592 --> 00:14:26,072
Oh, yes, he's very limber!
251
00:14:28,112 --> 00:14:29,912
Oh, do, please!
252
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:33,912
Yes, come on, son, you're
embarrassing us in front of company.
253
00:14:33,952 --> 00:14:36,792
No, really, I...
Oh, just do it, for Christ's sake!
254
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:43,632
I did it!
255
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,792
- I did it!
- Yeah!
256
00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:55,912
My, what a very high-pitched squeal
that was.
257
00:14:58,472 --> 00:15:00,952
Is it all right if I hoover in here?
258
00:15:00,992 --> 00:15:02,912
It's not a good time, Penelope.
259
00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:06,592
Well, I leave at five, so if you
want it done, it'll have to be soon.
260
00:15:07,832 --> 00:15:09,992
Oh, could I have a glass of water,
please?
261
00:15:10,032 --> 00:15:12,032
No. Who do you think I am?
262
00:15:12,872 --> 00:15:14,992
Freddie! Drinks!
263
00:15:15,032 --> 00:15:17,952
And I see lots of empty glasses.
264
00:15:18,912 --> 00:15:22,992
Sometimes I'm not quite sure what
he does, other than cash my cheques.
265
00:15:26,472 --> 00:15:29,472
Might I have a word with you
in the kitchen, sir?
266
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:32,552
If you will excuse us.
267
00:15:32,592 --> 00:15:35,472
He probably wants to tell me another
one of his sob stories,
268
00:15:35,512 --> 00:15:39,032
so he can squeeze a few more pounds
out of me. Ha ha!
269
00:15:41,952 --> 00:15:43,472
You're treating me horribly!
270
00:15:43,512 --> 00:15:46,272
What are you talking about?
I'm only doing it for Violet.
271
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:50,112
Well, it seems like you're enjoying
bossing me around entirely too much.
272
00:15:50,152 --> 00:15:52,272
Oh, is this your way
to get even with me?
273
00:15:52,312 --> 00:15:54,192
Of course not.
274
00:15:54,232 --> 00:15:58,832
It's only because you are so
believable as the butler,
275
00:15:58,872 --> 00:16:02,632
the character you've created
is so vivid and alive.
276
00:16:02,672 --> 00:16:06,792
Yes, yes, well, that's because
I came up with a back story for him.
277
00:16:08,072 --> 00:16:11,592
You see... Yeah, I know, we've heard
it several times.
278
00:16:11,632 --> 00:16:13,672
Just try to be a little kinder.
279
00:16:13,712 --> 00:16:17,792
Freddie is more fragile than he lets
on. Ahh! All right.
280
00:16:28,472 --> 00:16:30,912
Oh, I hate this job.
281
00:16:32,472 --> 00:16:35,752
I feel like I've been talking about
myself and my wonderful life
282
00:16:35,792 --> 00:16:37,552
all this time.
283
00:16:37,592 --> 00:16:40,192
Tell me, Lillian, how is your
husband?
284
00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:43,592
He's still dead, but we're getting
along better.
285
00:16:45,752 --> 00:16:49,392
I can't believe you're sisters.
You both seem so different.
286
00:16:49,432 --> 00:16:51,152
Oh...
287
00:16:51,192 --> 00:16:54,152
And haven't you got the most
beautiful hair
288
00:16:54,192 --> 00:16:56,592
I've ever seen in my entire life?
289
00:16:57,192 --> 00:16:59,632
Mmm...
290
00:16:59,672 --> 00:17:01,872
They don't seem that different to me.
291
00:17:03,512 --> 00:17:06,392
So, Ash, what brings you both here?
292
00:17:06,432 --> 00:17:08,752
Well, I wanted to introduce you to
Jess
293
00:17:08,792 --> 00:17:10,112
and tell you that I, er...
294
00:17:11,592 --> 00:17:14,312
Never mind.
Tell us what, darling?
295
00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:17,992
Maybe now is not the best time.
Ash asked me to move in with him.
296
00:17:18,032 --> 00:17:20,472
I said I had to think about it.
Already?
297
00:17:20,512 --> 00:17:21,712
Yeah. Why?
298
00:17:21,752 --> 00:17:23,872
Don't you think it's a bit quick,
son?
299
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:27,032
Yes, you must think long and hard
about this, Ash.
300
00:17:27,072 --> 00:17:29,552
You know, we only want what's best
for you,
301
00:17:29,592 --> 00:17:33,072
but I'd hate to see you rushing into
something when you're not ready.
302
00:17:33,112 --> 00:17:34,872
This is a serious step.
303
00:17:34,912 --> 00:17:38,112
I know. I really want you to support
me in this, Freddie.
304
00:17:38,152 --> 00:17:40,952
Yes, and I would like to,
but I just can't.
305
00:17:42,032 --> 00:17:44,752
Can I ask why the butler's opinion
is so important?
306
00:17:47,592 --> 00:17:51,152
Well, it's just that he practically
raised Ash.
307
00:17:51,192 --> 00:17:54,552
You do know that Freddie's mother
died when he was only six?
308
00:17:56,512 --> 00:18:00,832
Then the poor thing was basically
sold into child slavery.
309
00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:05,512
Obviously that's going to have an
effect on his behaviour at times.
310
00:18:13,232 --> 00:18:14,952
Thank you.
311
00:18:14,992 --> 00:18:19,792
Yes, dear, but Freddie sometimes
oversteps his bounds.
312
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:23,352
He is an employee and needs to know
his place.
313
00:18:24,112 --> 00:18:26,592
So let's go, you! Drinks!
314
00:18:26,632 --> 00:18:28,552
All right, I've had enough!
315
00:18:28,592 --> 00:18:30,912
How dare you speak to me like that,
you little shit!
316
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,952
That's it! You're fired!
317
00:18:36,752 --> 00:18:40,112
Fired? I've been with this family
for 30 years!
318
00:18:41,992 --> 00:18:45,432
I can't do his work and mine!
319
00:18:55,192 --> 00:18:57,192
And who are you?
I have no idea.
320
00:18:59,512 --> 00:19:01,752
Shouldn't you be catching your train,
Lillian?
321
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,192
Didn't I tell you?
I'm not catching the train.
322
00:19:04,232 --> 00:19:06,392
I've decided to stay with you
for a while.
323
00:19:09,672 --> 00:19:12,512
Who do I speak to about my redundancy
package?
324
00:19:16,712 --> 00:19:18,872
I think it's time we had a little
talk, Lillian.
325
00:19:18,912 --> 00:19:21,552
Yes, I agree. It's been too long.
326
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,872
I hadn't even realised your husband
had died.
327
00:19:25,912 --> 00:19:28,632
Two.
Starting to make me self-conscious.
328
00:19:28,672 --> 00:19:31,472
Look, there's something I have to
tell you, Lillian.
329
00:19:31,512 --> 00:19:34,912
Before you do, there's something
I have to tell you, too.
330
00:19:34,952 --> 00:19:38,992
I don't have any money, Violet.
I'm broke.
331
00:19:39,032 --> 00:19:41,392
Both my husbands left me with nothing
332
00:19:41,432 --> 00:19:43,872
and all four of my children are drug
addicts,
333
00:19:43,912 --> 00:19:45,432
but that's a whole other story.
334
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:51,312
I've lied to you all these years to
make myself seem something I wasn't.
335
00:19:51,352 --> 00:19:53,872
Now, what did you want to tell me?
336
00:19:57,632 --> 00:20:00,352
That I've never liked you.
337
00:20:00,392 --> 00:20:02,592
Now I think you should leave.
338
00:20:02,632 --> 00:20:05,912
I don't feel comfortable
having a liar in my home.
339
00:20:09,032 --> 00:20:11,032
Fine! I'll go!
340
00:20:11,952 --> 00:20:16,952
It's been absolutely splendid meeting
you all, but I must be heading home.
341
00:20:16,992 --> 00:20:20,272
Oh, and just so you know,
your husband's gay.
342
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,152
I told you!
343
00:20:29,472 --> 00:20:32,872
Ash, I'm confused.
Is that man your father?
344
00:20:33,872 --> 00:20:35,272
Well, not really.
345
00:20:35,312 --> 00:20:37,752
We've all just been pretending,
darling,
346
00:20:37,792 --> 00:20:40,552
in order to make my sister think
that I'm wealthy.
347
00:20:40,592 --> 00:20:43,032
This is Freddie and Stuart's flat,
348
00:20:43,072 --> 00:20:44,672
and we're all their friends.
349
00:20:44,712 --> 00:20:48,712
Oh, my God. That's... amazing.
350
00:20:48,752 --> 00:20:51,472
I think I want to move in HERE!
351
00:20:51,512 --> 00:20:54,592
Welcome to our little family,
Jessica.
352
00:20:54,632 --> 00:20:56,432
Oh. It's actually just Jess.
353
00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:58,632
No. It's Jessica.
354
00:20:58,672 --> 00:21:00,472
I was only kidding before. Duhh!
355
00:21:02,632 --> 00:21:05,272
You people are all fucking insane.
356
00:21:10,912 --> 00:21:13,232
May I have some more tea, please?
357
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,952
Certainly.
358
00:21:14,992 --> 00:21:16,952
And I shouldn't have to ask.
359
00:21:16,992 --> 00:21:19,592
I should never be looking at
an empty cup.
360
00:21:20,632 --> 00:21:25,112
Well, here we are again,
you treating me like rubbish...
361
00:21:25,152 --> 00:21:27,192
and me waiting upon you.
362
00:21:27,232 --> 00:21:29,232
But it feels right, somehow.
363
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:33,072
It does.
364
00:21:34,032 --> 00:21:35,832
Morning.
365
00:21:43,376 --> 00:22:11,285
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