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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:21,430 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 2 00:00:22,516 --> 00:00:26,036 What's wrong with the world? I've just counted ten fat people. 3 00:00:27,796 --> 00:00:29,036 No. Eleven. 4 00:00:29,076 --> 00:00:33,836 Can YOU carry one of these bags? No. I told you, my arm hurts. 5 00:00:33,876 --> 00:00:36,476 Pushing you away from me every night for 50 years 6 00:00:36,516 --> 00:00:38,276 has taken its toll on my body. 7 00:00:38,316 --> 00:00:39,956 So has gravity. 8 00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:43,236 Besides, you're so much cleverer at carrying things than I am. 9 00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:44,956 I shall probably muck it all up. 10 00:00:44,996 --> 00:00:48,356 Why am I always better at the things that you don't want to do? 11 00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:49,956 I'm not your servant, Freddie. 12 00:00:49,996 --> 00:00:54,036 Stuart, I would never think of you as my servant. Good. 13 00:00:54,076 --> 00:00:56,236 I think of you as my housekeeper. 14 00:00:56,276 --> 00:00:58,236 It's a more important contribution. 15 00:00:58,276 --> 00:01:01,036 What exactly is it that YOU contribute? 16 00:01:01,076 --> 00:01:03,236 You haven't had an acting job in months. 17 00:01:03,276 --> 00:01:05,316 That's because I'm at an awkward age. 18 00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:08,796 You have been at an awkward age for three decades. 19 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:13,436 If I can just stick it out a bit longer, I'll segue into a whole new range of roles. 20 00:01:13,476 --> 00:01:15,156 Corpses? 21 00:01:18,516 --> 00:01:21,676 So, what is it you need to talk to us about, Vi? 22 00:01:21,716 --> 00:01:26,156 Yes, Vi, we're all yours. You take all the time you need. 23 00:01:26,196 --> 00:01:29,916 Thank you, darling. Did you tell her we have an appointment in 20 minutes? 24 00:01:30,996 --> 00:01:33,196 Good. 25 00:01:33,236 --> 00:01:35,316 We don't really have an appointment, do we? 26 00:01:36,156 --> 00:01:37,756 Good. 27 00:01:37,796 --> 00:01:40,716 It concerns my husband Jasper. 28 00:01:40,756 --> 00:01:43,996 Oh, that's right. I keep forgetting you're married. 29 00:01:44,036 --> 00:01:46,356 Well, apparently so does he. 30 00:01:46,396 --> 00:01:50,676 You see, I haven't seen Jasper since we returned from our honeymoon. 31 00:01:50,716 --> 00:01:52,876 It seems he's disappeared. 32 00:01:52,916 --> 00:01:54,876 Oh, poor Violet. 33 00:01:54,916 --> 00:01:58,556 If there's anything you need... Oh thank you, Stuart. 34 00:01:59,636 --> 00:02:01,356 No, don't touch the cheese. 35 00:02:01,396 --> 00:02:03,396 It's just for show. 36 00:02:04,676 --> 00:02:06,476 Awfully sorry. 37 00:02:06,516 --> 00:02:10,116 But I don't understand. Why didn't you say anything BEFORE this? 38 00:02:10,156 --> 00:02:12,476 I suppose I was ashamed. 39 00:02:12,516 --> 00:02:15,116 Perhaps I can say something to make you feel better. 40 00:02:15,156 --> 00:02:17,196 Would you like that? Very much, darling. 41 00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:19,396 You have nothing to be ashamed about, 42 00:02:19,436 --> 00:02:21,076 so you hold your head up high. 43 00:02:21,116 --> 00:02:25,196 Even though people are going to see you as pathetic and rejected, 44 00:02:25,236 --> 00:02:28,596 cast off, abandoned, unlovable. 45 00:02:29,956 --> 00:02:32,996 I've changed my mind, I'd rather you didn't make me feel better. 46 00:02:34,476 --> 00:02:37,476 Of course. When you're ready, you just let me know. 47 00:02:39,436 --> 00:02:41,276 Hello, Ash! Hi! 48 00:02:41,316 --> 00:02:43,596 Can I tell Ash? I think maybe I'D like to. 49 00:02:43,636 --> 00:02:46,596 Violet's husband has left her. 50 00:02:46,636 --> 00:02:47,756 I'm sorry, Violet. 51 00:02:47,796 --> 00:02:51,956 He didn't leave me, he just seems to have stepped out for a few weeks. 52 00:02:51,996 --> 00:02:55,676 I'm sure he'll turn up soon and then we'll all laugh about it. 53 00:02:55,716 --> 00:02:58,596 You hold on to that thought, dear. 54 00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:01,836 Now I feel bad about coming round to talk about my new girlfriend. 55 00:03:01,876 --> 00:03:02,996 You should do! 56 00:03:03,036 --> 00:03:06,396 Of course not, Ash, I'm very happy for you. 57 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:10,996 Thanks, Violet. I only hope she's able to... satisfy you, 58 00:03:11,036 --> 00:03:15,036 because if she's not able to satisfy you... She is! She totally is. 59 00:03:15,876 --> 00:03:17,916 Good. 60 00:03:17,956 --> 00:03:19,756 How, exactly? 61 00:03:20,476 --> 00:03:22,996 Stuart? Drinks. I see lots of empty glasses. 62 00:03:23,556 --> 00:03:26,996 Stop treating me like a servant, Freddie. 63 00:03:27,036 --> 00:03:29,156 I told you, I don't like it! 64 00:03:29,196 --> 00:03:31,436 You'll notice he still gets the drinks. 65 00:03:32,716 --> 00:03:34,996 Oh, I have a fun idea. 66 00:03:35,036 --> 00:03:39,676 Why don't we all take you out to dinner, to cheer you up, Violet? 67 00:03:39,716 --> 00:03:43,316 Oh, I've been dying to try that new sushi restaurant. 68 00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:47,516 Yes and why not eat monkeys' brains too, while we're at it? 69 00:03:48,476 --> 00:03:51,036 Oh, don't be so ignorant, Freddie. 70 00:03:51,076 --> 00:03:57,836 I'm sure it's not all... bizarre, uncooked, stinky God-knows-what. 71 00:03:57,876 --> 00:04:01,276 Are you coming, Ash? Sorry, I've got plans with my girlfriend. 72 00:04:01,316 --> 00:04:03,636 Please stop talking about your girlfriend! 73 00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:07,676 Can't you see this woman is all alone, terrified and forgotten? 74 00:04:07,716 --> 00:04:10,076 She's got nobody! 75 00:04:10,836 --> 00:04:13,836 Can you believe how insensitive he's being? 76 00:04:18,156 --> 00:04:21,876 Who's paying for this, anyway? We all are, Mason. 77 00:04:21,916 --> 00:04:24,036 It's to make Violet feel better 78 00:04:24,076 --> 00:04:26,316 because her husband has been so awful to her. 79 00:04:26,356 --> 00:04:28,076 Then shouldn't HE be paying? 80 00:04:28,116 --> 00:04:31,436 Where's Violet? We've been waiting ages. 81 00:04:31,476 --> 00:04:36,036 Yes, and I can't stay much longer. Why? Where do you have to go? 82 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:39,956 I do have a life outside of all of you. No, you don't. 83 00:04:39,996 --> 00:04:42,676 Please tell Violet I'm sorry I missed her. 84 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,276 You can't go! 85 00:04:44,316 --> 00:04:46,116 The only reason we invited you 86 00:04:46,156 --> 00:04:48,956 is so that we'd have another person to split the bill with. 87 00:04:48,996 --> 00:04:52,556 Yes, I realise that now, and it's so expensive too. 88 00:04:55,476 --> 00:04:56,676 Bugger! 89 00:04:56,716 --> 00:04:58,876 Everybody order one thing. No drinks. 90 00:04:59,676 --> 00:05:01,196 I'm sorry I'm late, everyone. 91 00:05:01,236 --> 00:05:06,116 Oh, my goodness, Violet! Imagine seeing you here in Japan. 92 00:05:06,156 --> 00:05:07,956 We're not in Japan! 93 00:05:07,996 --> 00:05:11,556 You didn't miss anything, Vi, only Mason being an arsehole. 94 00:05:11,596 --> 00:05:13,996 Let me just get settled. 95 00:05:21,436 --> 00:05:24,556 I'm in a frightful state. We see that. 96 00:05:24,596 --> 00:05:26,876 Does it have anything to do with your husband? 97 00:05:27,596 --> 00:05:29,676 In a way. 98 00:05:30,636 --> 00:05:33,916 I just got an email from my sister. 99 00:05:33,956 --> 00:05:35,716 She's coming to visit. 100 00:05:35,756 --> 00:05:38,076 You've never mentioned a sister. 101 00:05:38,116 --> 00:05:41,356 Well, Lillian and I haven't seen each other in years. 102 00:05:41,396 --> 00:05:43,916 She married a wealthy man and moved away, 103 00:05:43,956 --> 00:05:47,636 and since then she's always looked down on me. 104 00:05:47,676 --> 00:05:49,356 I've no idea why. 105 00:05:49,396 --> 00:05:52,396 Perhaps because your life never amounted to much? 106 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:57,516 I have something to tell you, but I don't want you to think me uncouth. 107 00:05:57,556 --> 00:06:00,636 You just pulled a bottle of vodka out of your bag! 108 00:06:00,676 --> 00:06:03,076 It's a little late for that, don't you think? 109 00:06:03,116 --> 00:06:05,596 I lied to Lillian. 110 00:06:05,636 --> 00:06:08,876 When I got married, I told her Jasper was very successful 111 00:06:08,916 --> 00:06:12,716 and we lived in a grand flat with a staff of servants. 112 00:06:12,756 --> 00:06:16,716 Now when she arrives tomorrow, she's going to learn the truth, 113 00:06:16,756 --> 00:06:20,156 that he left me and I've got... nothing. 114 00:06:21,356 --> 00:06:25,596 What if I had an idea that could solve everything? 115 00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,516 That's impossible. 116 00:06:27,556 --> 00:06:30,636 The only way you could solve this is with some elaborate deception 117 00:06:30,676 --> 00:06:32,676 where one of us pretends to be Vi's husband 118 00:06:32,716 --> 00:06:35,916 and the rest of us pose as the household staff. 119 00:06:35,956 --> 00:06:40,236 And of course we'd have to do it in our flat. Hers is a hellhole. 120 00:06:40,276 --> 00:06:42,436 THAT was my idea. 121 00:06:42,476 --> 00:06:44,916 Well, that could work. 122 00:06:44,956 --> 00:06:49,316 I had a great time tonight, and even though it hasn't been long, 123 00:06:49,356 --> 00:06:51,396 I feel like I know you really well, Jessica. 124 00:06:51,436 --> 00:06:54,076 My name's not Jessica. It's Jess. 125 00:06:54,116 --> 00:06:57,036 Oh, I thought it was short for Jessica. It's not. 126 00:06:57,756 --> 00:07:01,116 Well, aside from not knowing your name, 127 00:07:01,156 --> 00:07:03,396 I feel like we've got really close. 128 00:07:03,436 --> 00:07:05,916 I do, too. 129 00:07:06,876 --> 00:07:08,756 Hey, do you wanna get some ice cream? 130 00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:10,196 Sure. 131 00:07:14,436 --> 00:07:18,076 I was thinking, do you want to move in with me? 132 00:07:18,116 --> 00:07:22,236 I haven't even met your family yet. You will soon, I promise. 133 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,476 Then you'll definitely want to move in with me! 134 00:07:25,516 --> 00:07:29,076 We'll see. I still don't know that much about you, Ash. 135 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:32,916 Well, I already know all I need to know about you, Jessica. Jess. 136 00:07:33,676 --> 00:07:34,916 Shit! 137 00:07:36,316 --> 00:07:39,316 I can't thank you enough for doing this for me, Stuart. 138 00:07:39,356 --> 00:07:42,276 Not Stuart! Jasper! 139 00:07:42,316 --> 00:07:45,156 Your loving and successful husband! 140 00:07:45,196 --> 00:07:47,036 Right. 141 00:07:47,076 --> 00:07:48,836 Oh, I hope this works. 142 00:07:48,876 --> 00:07:51,036 Look, it's only one lunch. 143 00:07:51,076 --> 00:07:53,236 Then Lillian has to catch her train. 144 00:07:53,276 --> 00:07:55,836 Oh, she should be here any moment. Where's Freddie? 145 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:58,156 Why do I have to be the butler? 146 00:08:00,676 --> 00:08:02,996 It's much more believable if I'm the husband. 147 00:08:03,036 --> 00:08:06,116 Well you're the one who pinched the costume, 148 00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:08,196 from when you were on Downton Abbey. 149 00:08:09,396 --> 00:08:10,836 They gave it to me. 150 00:08:10,876 --> 00:08:13,316 Besides, you're never going to pass as straight. 151 00:08:13,356 --> 00:08:16,516 You're making that rug gay just by standing on it! 152 00:08:16,556 --> 00:08:19,316 Oh, I can pass as straight. 153 00:08:19,356 --> 00:08:22,716 After all, I have had sex with a woman. 154 00:08:22,756 --> 00:08:24,596 Yes, over 50 years ago. 155 00:08:24,636 --> 00:08:27,396 Well, I imagine it still all works the same, doesn't it? 156 00:08:32,196 --> 00:08:34,436 More or less. 157 00:08:34,476 --> 00:08:37,356 It's changed a bit over the years. 158 00:08:37,396 --> 00:08:40,516 I can't even tell you the things we're expected to do now. 159 00:08:46,796 --> 00:08:48,796 I only do them to be polite. 160 00:08:49,876 --> 00:08:54,156 I guarantee that I will be able to pass as straight, Freddie! 161 00:08:54,196 --> 00:08:56,396 Perhaps if you don't move or open your mouth. 162 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,956 Anyone can see that you should be the servant. 163 00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:00,676 Now what is that supposed to mean? 164 00:09:00,716 --> 00:09:04,396 Nothing, just that you look and behave like a servant, that's all. 165 00:09:04,436 --> 00:09:06,916 Well, you're an actor. Think of it as a role. 166 00:09:07,836 --> 00:09:10,356 Yes, of course. I am an actor. 167 00:09:10,396 --> 00:09:13,916 This could be the greatest performance of my career. 168 00:09:15,316 --> 00:09:19,276 All right, take it down a notch, Sir Laurence Olivi-gay. 169 00:09:19,316 --> 00:09:22,116 Oh, that's Lillian. 170 00:09:22,156 --> 00:09:24,036 Oh, good luck, everyone. 171 00:09:32,356 --> 00:09:34,356 Well, you're the butler. Go and answer it! 172 00:09:35,236 --> 00:09:37,236 Oh, yes! 173 00:09:39,516 --> 00:09:41,916 Wait. What's my name? Freddie! 174 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:44,196 Freddie. 175 00:09:44,236 --> 00:09:45,356 Got it. 176 00:09:47,996 --> 00:09:49,156 Hello, Vi! 177 00:09:49,196 --> 00:09:50,676 Tut tut tut tut tut. 178 00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:53,156 No speaking until you've been announced. 179 00:09:53,196 --> 00:09:56,916 Name, please? Lillian Haverfield-Wickham. 180 00:09:56,956 --> 00:09:59,316 No, I didn't get that. Speak up. 181 00:09:59,356 --> 00:10:01,516 Lillian Haverfield-Wickham. Yes. 182 00:10:01,556 --> 00:10:04,716 May I present the Lady... Are you a Lady? 183 00:10:04,756 --> 00:10:06,796 No. 184 00:10:07,916 --> 00:10:10,876 Well, may I present the perfectly ordinary person, then, 185 00:10:10,916 --> 00:10:13,556 Lillian Hooverdamp-Woosenfield? 186 00:10:19,196 --> 00:10:21,316 All right, go and say hello. We're finished. 187 00:10:22,196 --> 00:10:25,676 Violet, dearest! Lillian, darling. 188 00:10:25,716 --> 00:10:28,676 It's been so long. Let me look at you. 189 00:10:30,036 --> 00:10:32,196 OK, I'm finished. 190 00:10:32,236 --> 00:10:33,756 And you must be Jasper. 191 00:10:38,236 --> 00:10:40,076 I'm very glad to meet you. 192 00:10:40,116 --> 00:10:44,316 Ow! Violet didn't tell me how handsome you were. 193 00:10:44,356 --> 00:10:46,716 Oh, my goodness, thank you! 194 00:10:50,036 --> 00:10:51,236 I mean, thank you. 195 00:10:52,556 --> 00:10:57,236 Violet speaks so highly of you, usually after we've had sex. 196 00:11:00,556 --> 00:11:03,236 How odd. Oh, you must forgive Jasper, 197 00:11:03,276 --> 00:11:05,436 he has an insatiable sexual appetite. 198 00:11:05,476 --> 00:11:08,956 Yes, I can't get enough of this one! 199 00:11:08,996 --> 00:11:11,636 Mwah! Mwaaah! Mwah! 200 00:11:11,676 --> 00:11:14,516 Shall I find you something to vomit in, madam? 201 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,076 I'm all right for the time being, thank you. 202 00:11:19,916 --> 00:11:22,476 All right, don't just stand there, take the lady's coat! 203 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,636 All right, calm down. 204 00:11:24,676 --> 00:11:25,796 May I? 205 00:11:25,836 --> 00:11:28,076 I love your flat. Oh, thank you. 206 00:11:28,116 --> 00:11:31,596 - Why are YOU thanking me? - It's not your flat. 207 00:11:33,036 --> 00:11:35,636 I beg your pardon, but the master is so kind 208 00:11:35,676 --> 00:11:38,796 that I often think of this home as my own. 209 00:11:38,836 --> 00:11:42,396 You see, I never came from much. 210 00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:44,236 Mother died when I was six... 211 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:48,516 ..and then they sent me off to the workhouse 212 00:11:48,556 --> 00:11:51,156 and this is the only family I've ever known. 213 00:11:51,196 --> 00:11:53,316 What a touching story. 214 00:11:53,356 --> 00:11:55,596 They do get attached. 215 00:11:55,636 --> 00:11:59,516 All right, pull yourself together or it's back to the workhouse. 216 00:12:01,396 --> 00:12:03,956 Why don't we have some tea? 217 00:12:12,116 --> 00:12:15,436 I'm about to introduce you to the most important people in my life, Jess. 218 00:12:15,476 --> 00:12:17,516 I'm so excited. Oh, I hope they like me. 219 00:12:17,556 --> 00:12:21,356 I know they will. You'll never meet more authentic people than these. 220 00:12:22,756 --> 00:12:24,916 Master Ar-sh to see you. 221 00:12:25,756 --> 00:12:29,156 Ash, darling, come to Mummy! 222 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:37,392 We weren't expecting you home this early, son, were we, dearest? 223 00:12:37,432 --> 00:12:40,152 Yum yum yum! 224 00:12:40,192 --> 00:12:42,272 No, we weren't. 225 00:12:43,752 --> 00:12:45,792 O...K. 226 00:12:46,752 --> 00:12:49,192 Aren't you going to introduce me to everybody, Ash? 227 00:12:53,752 --> 00:12:55,952 Maybe they should introduce themselves first! 228 00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:59,512 I'm Ash's father, Jasper, dear, 229 00:12:59,552 --> 00:13:04,352 and this ravishing creature is my wife Violet. 230 00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:08,952 And I'm Ash's stepmother, darling, but we've become incredibly close. 231 00:13:08,992 --> 00:13:11,752 Now, give Mummy a kiss. 232 00:13:25,832 --> 00:13:28,792 Ash is from my first marriage. 233 00:13:28,832 --> 00:13:30,912 I've had sex with a lot of women. 234 00:13:34,352 --> 00:13:36,392 I'm Freddie the butler. 235 00:13:36,432 --> 00:13:38,432 You see, I never came from much. 236 00:13:40,432 --> 00:13:43,952 Mother died when I was six... Nobody wants to hear all that again. 237 00:13:43,992 --> 00:13:45,792 Go and fill some glasses. 238 00:13:45,832 --> 00:13:49,032 Oh, yes, I believe you mentioned Jasper had a son. 239 00:13:49,072 --> 00:13:51,272 I never knew you could be so maternal. 240 00:13:51,312 --> 00:13:52,912 I'm very maternal. 241 00:13:52,952 --> 00:13:57,992 Sometimes when Ash has a nightmare, he even climbs into bed with us. 242 00:13:59,032 --> 00:14:00,192 No, I don't. 243 00:14:00,232 --> 00:14:03,872 Oh, that's so sweet. And unusual. 244 00:14:05,432 --> 00:14:09,352 Didn't you also tell me he was a champion gymnast, Violet? 245 00:14:10,832 --> 00:14:12,152 I did. 246 00:14:12,192 --> 00:14:15,512 Why would you say that, Mum? 247 00:14:16,312 --> 00:14:19,592 Oh, do something for us. A back flip perhaps? 248 00:14:19,632 --> 00:14:21,032 I'd rather not. 249 00:14:21,072 --> 00:14:23,552 I didn't know you were a gymnast. 250 00:14:23,592 --> 00:14:26,072 Oh, yes, he's very limber! 251 00:14:28,112 --> 00:14:29,912 Oh, do, please! 252 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:33,912 Yes, come on, son, you're embarrassing us in front of company. 253 00:14:33,952 --> 00:14:36,792 No, really, I... Oh, just do it, for Christ's sake! 254 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:43,632 I did it! 255 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,792 - I did it! - Yeah! 256 00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:55,912 My, what a very high-pitched squeal that was. 257 00:14:58,472 --> 00:15:00,952 Is it all right if I hoover in here? 258 00:15:00,992 --> 00:15:02,912 It's not a good time, Penelope. 259 00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:06,592 Well, I leave at five, so if you want it done, it'll have to be soon. 260 00:15:07,832 --> 00:15:09,992 Oh, could I have a glass of water, please? 261 00:15:10,032 --> 00:15:12,032 No. Who do you think I am? 262 00:15:12,872 --> 00:15:14,992 Freddie! Drinks! 263 00:15:15,032 --> 00:15:17,952 And I see lots of empty glasses. 264 00:15:18,912 --> 00:15:22,992 Sometimes I'm not quite sure what he does, other than cash my cheques. 265 00:15:26,472 --> 00:15:29,472 Might I have a word with you in the kitchen, sir? 266 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:32,552 If you will excuse us. 267 00:15:32,592 --> 00:15:35,472 He probably wants to tell me another one of his sob stories, 268 00:15:35,512 --> 00:15:39,032 so he can squeeze a few more pounds out of me. Ha ha! 269 00:15:41,952 --> 00:15:43,472 You're treating me horribly! 270 00:15:43,512 --> 00:15:46,272 What are you talking about? I'm only doing it for Violet. 271 00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:50,112 Well, it seems like you're enjoying bossing me around entirely too much. 272 00:15:50,152 --> 00:15:52,272 Oh, is this your way to get even with me? 273 00:15:52,312 --> 00:15:54,192 Of course not. 274 00:15:54,232 --> 00:15:58,832 It's only because you are so believable as the butler, 275 00:15:58,872 --> 00:16:02,632 the character you've created is so vivid and alive. 276 00:16:02,672 --> 00:16:06,792 Yes, yes, well, that's because I came up with a back story for him. 277 00:16:08,072 --> 00:16:11,592 You see... Yeah, I know, we've heard it several times. 278 00:16:11,632 --> 00:16:13,672 Just try to be a little kinder. 279 00:16:13,712 --> 00:16:17,792 Freddie is more fragile than he lets on. Ahh! All right. 280 00:16:28,472 --> 00:16:30,912 Oh, I hate this job. 281 00:16:32,472 --> 00:16:35,752 I feel like I've been talking about myself and my wonderful life 282 00:16:35,792 --> 00:16:37,552 all this time. 283 00:16:37,592 --> 00:16:40,192 Tell me, Lillian, how is your husband? 284 00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:43,592 He's still dead, but we're getting along better. 285 00:16:45,752 --> 00:16:49,392 I can't believe you're sisters. You both seem so different. 286 00:16:49,432 --> 00:16:51,152 Oh... 287 00:16:51,192 --> 00:16:54,152 And haven't you got the most beautiful hair 288 00:16:54,192 --> 00:16:56,592 I've ever seen in my entire life? 289 00:16:57,192 --> 00:16:59,632 Mmm... 290 00:16:59,672 --> 00:17:01,872 They don't seem that different to me. 291 00:17:03,512 --> 00:17:06,392 So, Ash, what brings you both here? 292 00:17:06,432 --> 00:17:08,752 Well, I wanted to introduce you to Jess 293 00:17:08,792 --> 00:17:10,112 and tell you that I, er... 294 00:17:11,592 --> 00:17:14,312 Never mind. Tell us what, darling? 295 00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:17,992 Maybe now is not the best time. Ash asked me to move in with him. 296 00:17:18,032 --> 00:17:20,472 I said I had to think about it. Already? 297 00:17:20,512 --> 00:17:21,712 Yeah. Why? 298 00:17:21,752 --> 00:17:23,872 Don't you think it's a bit quick, son? 299 00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:27,032 Yes, you must think long and hard about this, Ash. 300 00:17:27,072 --> 00:17:29,552 You know, we only want what's best for you, 301 00:17:29,592 --> 00:17:33,072 but I'd hate to see you rushing into something when you're not ready. 302 00:17:33,112 --> 00:17:34,872 This is a serious step. 303 00:17:34,912 --> 00:17:38,112 I know. I really want you to support me in this, Freddie. 304 00:17:38,152 --> 00:17:40,952 Yes, and I would like to, but I just can't. 305 00:17:42,032 --> 00:17:44,752 Can I ask why the butler's opinion is so important? 306 00:17:47,592 --> 00:17:51,152 Well, it's just that he practically raised Ash. 307 00:17:51,192 --> 00:17:54,552 You do know that Freddie's mother died when he was only six? 308 00:17:56,512 --> 00:18:00,832 Then the poor thing was basically sold into child slavery. 309 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:05,512 Obviously that's going to have an effect on his behaviour at times. 310 00:18:13,232 --> 00:18:14,952 Thank you. 311 00:18:14,992 --> 00:18:19,792 Yes, dear, but Freddie sometimes oversteps his bounds. 312 00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:23,352 He is an employee and needs to know his place. 313 00:18:24,112 --> 00:18:26,592 So let's go, you! Drinks! 314 00:18:26,632 --> 00:18:28,552 All right, I've had enough! 315 00:18:28,592 --> 00:18:30,912 How dare you speak to me like that, you little shit! 316 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,952 That's it! You're fired! 317 00:18:36,752 --> 00:18:40,112 Fired? I've been with this family for 30 years! 318 00:18:41,992 --> 00:18:45,432 I can't do his work and mine! 319 00:18:55,192 --> 00:18:57,192 And who are you? I have no idea. 320 00:18:59,512 --> 00:19:01,752 Shouldn't you be catching your train, Lillian? 321 00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,192 Didn't I tell you? I'm not catching the train. 322 00:19:04,232 --> 00:19:06,392 I've decided to stay with you for a while. 323 00:19:09,672 --> 00:19:12,512 Who do I speak to about my redundancy package? 324 00:19:16,712 --> 00:19:18,872 I think it's time we had a little talk, Lillian. 325 00:19:18,912 --> 00:19:21,552 Yes, I agree. It's been too long. 326 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,872 I hadn't even realised your husband had died. 327 00:19:25,912 --> 00:19:28,632 Two. Starting to make me self-conscious. 328 00:19:28,672 --> 00:19:31,472 Look, there's something I have to tell you, Lillian. 329 00:19:31,512 --> 00:19:34,912 Before you do, there's something I have to tell you, too. 330 00:19:34,952 --> 00:19:38,992 I don't have any money, Violet. I'm broke. 331 00:19:39,032 --> 00:19:41,392 Both my husbands left me with nothing 332 00:19:41,432 --> 00:19:43,872 and all four of my children are drug addicts, 333 00:19:43,912 --> 00:19:45,432 but that's a whole other story. 334 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:51,312 I've lied to you all these years to make myself seem something I wasn't. 335 00:19:51,352 --> 00:19:53,872 Now, what did you want to tell me? 336 00:19:57,632 --> 00:20:00,352 That I've never liked you. 337 00:20:00,392 --> 00:20:02,592 Now I think you should leave. 338 00:20:02,632 --> 00:20:05,912 I don't feel comfortable having a liar in my home. 339 00:20:09,032 --> 00:20:11,032 Fine! I'll go! 340 00:20:11,952 --> 00:20:16,952 It's been absolutely splendid meeting you all, but I must be heading home. 341 00:20:16,992 --> 00:20:20,272 Oh, and just so you know, your husband's gay. 342 00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,152 I told you! 343 00:20:29,472 --> 00:20:32,872 Ash, I'm confused. Is that man your father? 344 00:20:33,872 --> 00:20:35,272 Well, not really. 345 00:20:35,312 --> 00:20:37,752 We've all just been pretending, darling, 346 00:20:37,792 --> 00:20:40,552 in order to make my sister think that I'm wealthy. 347 00:20:40,592 --> 00:20:43,032 This is Freddie and Stuart's flat, 348 00:20:43,072 --> 00:20:44,672 and we're all their friends. 349 00:20:44,712 --> 00:20:48,712 Oh, my God. That's... amazing. 350 00:20:48,752 --> 00:20:51,472 I think I want to move in HERE! 351 00:20:51,512 --> 00:20:54,592 Welcome to our little family, Jessica. 352 00:20:54,632 --> 00:20:56,432 Oh. It's actually just Jess. 353 00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:58,632 No. It's Jessica. 354 00:20:58,672 --> 00:21:00,472 I was only kidding before. Duhh! 355 00:21:02,632 --> 00:21:05,272 You people are all fucking insane. 356 00:21:10,912 --> 00:21:13,232 May I have some more tea, please? 357 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,952 Certainly. 358 00:21:14,992 --> 00:21:16,952 And I shouldn't have to ask. 359 00:21:16,992 --> 00:21:19,592 I should never be looking at an empty cup. 360 00:21:20,632 --> 00:21:25,112 Well, here we are again, you treating me like rubbish... 361 00:21:25,152 --> 00:21:27,192 and me waiting upon you. 362 00:21:27,232 --> 00:21:29,232 But it feels right, somehow. 363 00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:33,072 It does. 364 00:21:34,032 --> 00:21:35,832 Morning. 365 00:21:43,376 --> 00:22:11,285 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 28875

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