Original subtitles

Love,

exciting and new.

Come aboard,

we're expecting you.

And love,

life's sweetest reward.

Let if flow,

it floats back to you.

The love boat.

Soon we'll be making another run.

The love boat,

promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,

your mind on a new romance.

And love,

won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile,

on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard it's love.

Alicia: Shh...

Keep quiet, cricket.

Remember dogs aren't allowed on the ship...

Cricket...

If you and I are going to enjoy this cruise together, you've got to cooperate...

Oooh...

Oooh...

Chest cold...

Oooh...

Issac: That's one for me...One for you...Two for me...One for you.

Gopher: Hey...he's hoggin' all the ladies.

Isaac: You two fight it out between yourselves.

I'm not interested.

Doc: Not interested in ladies?

That's like not being interested in breathing.

Gopher: Still not interested?...

Oh, come on.

Where's the old spirit of competition?

Doc: The thrill of victory...

Isaac: The agony of defeat.

I have been burned for the last time.

Gopher: Poor guy.

How do you mend a broken heart?

Doc: How would I know.

I'm the breaker, not the breakee.

Julie: Hi.

Welcome aboard.

I'm Julie McCoy.

Suzanna: Suzanna Wells.

Julie: Hi.

Suzanna: Hi.

Wow, what a beautiful ship.

Julie: What a beautiful coat.

Suzanna: Oh, thank you.

It's genuine mink.

That wasn't too cool, was it?

Julie: Is this your first trip to Mexico?

Suzanna: My first trip anywhere.

A month ago, I was a waitress in a coffee shop.

And now I'm rich.

My uncle left me a fortune...

Ah, listen to me...

Here I am trying to be sophisticated and in two seconds I've told you my life story.

Julie: Well, I don't blame you.

You must have been in shock.

Suzanna: No.

In stores.

I've been shopping my head off.

Julie: I'd probably do that, too.

Suzanna: Yeah.

Int.

Alan: Captain stubing?

Captain: Oh, yes?

Alan: How are you?

You're looking terrific.

Captain: Why...thank you...

You look good yourself...

Alan: Alan...alan harmon.

Captain: Sure...

Well, it's nice to have you aboard, son.

How are things at the...

Alan: Gas station.

I'm the mechanic that fixes your car.

Captain: Of course...Is it ready yet?

Alan: Just waiting for the parts to come in...

Oh, excuse me.

There's the girl I'm planning to marry...Suzanna, baby...

Am I the last person you expected to see?

Suzanna: No.

You're the last person I wanted to see.

Captain: Now that's cold.

Julie: Ooh, any colder and he's gonna have to borrow her mink coat.

Gopher: Yes, sir.

May I help you?

Mason: Yes, I was just wondering if you can direct me to...

Oh, excuse me, miss...Ladies first.

Alicia: Oh, well, thank you.

It's nice to know that gallantry still exists.

Mason: One can but try.

Alicia: Oh, I'm Alicia Finch.

Gopher: Welcome aboard...

Okay, you and your dog are in cabin two eighty-seven fiesta...

Dog?

Alicia: Dog?

What dog?

Mason: I believe I heard it, too.

Alicia: Oh, you know, some people hear things all the time...

If you'll pardon me.

Alicia: There now.

That's more like my little cricket.

Remember vacation or not, now we've got to keep up appearances...

Are you hungry again?

Well, all right...

But you know how I feel about in-between meal snacks...

Mmm...it needs salt...

Who is it?

Maid: Maid, ma'am.

Anything you need?

Alicia: Ah...no...no...no thank you.

Oh, and...

Listen, you can just skip this cabin for the rest of the cruise.

I brought my own linen and my own vacuum cleaner.

Maid: Yes, ma'am.

Now I've heard everything.

Alicia: Do you see what mama did for cricket?

Mama told a fib.

Now cricket you have to be extra good or mama and cricket could get busted.

Now you just stay here and entertain yourself, while I go out and soak up some sun.

And remember, not a bark out of you.

And don't worry...Mama'll bring you some more newspapers.

And if you're good...A Margarita.

Man: All I want is a good solid relationship with someone who accepts me.

Isaac: I know what you mean.

On this ship alone, I have been involved with a Ph.D., a rock singer, a television actress...

And on my second day...

Can I get you something?

Selena: Just a glass of water, please.

Isaac: Okay.

Fine.

But at the end of the cruise, it's always the same old story...

Bye-bye, Isaac...

Bye-bye, love.

Bye-bye happiness...I feel like I could die...

Anything else?

Selena: No, I...

Is it okay to just sit here?

Isaac: Oh, sure.

Man: What can you do about it?

Isaac: I'll tell you what you do.

You don't get involved unless you're sure.

Man: That makes sense.

You know, talking to you has helped me a lot.

I guess it's true what they say about bartenders.

Isaac: Thank you.

By the way, what do you do for a living?

Man: Oh, I'm a psychiatrist.

Suzanna: Thank you.

Alan: You just tipped the captain.

Suzanna: Well, of course I tipped the captain.

I mean, anyone with any class tips the captain.

Don't you know anything?

Captain: She gave me a five dollar tip.

Can you believe that?

Doc: Wow.

I usually only get fifty cents for opening doors.

Suzanna: Why are you following me?

Alan: Well, it's very simple.

I love you.

Suzanna: I wish I could believe that.

Alan: We had a good thing going, suzanna.

Suzanna: Sure we did, until you backed out.

You were dead set against marriage.

Alan: I wasn't ready.

Suzanna: What makes you think you're ready now?

Alan: Well, for one thing I've grown...

And so has your bank roll.

Suzanna: You're right.

You're very simple.

Alan: Well come on.

Can't you take a joke?

Alicia: ...Pardon me, is this seat ta...

Oh it's you.

Mason: And it's you.

Alicia: Mmm...

Do you have a dog?

Mason: Do I have a dog?

Oh...oh...

First in his class in obedience school.

A magnificent animal.

Do you know he can actually sing, "how much is that doggie in the window." Oh, dear me.

I'm sorry.

I must be boring you.

Alicia: Oh, not at all.

I love dogs.

Well, as a matter of fact, I have one.

Mason: I knew it.

I knew it.

You can always tell a dog person...

Uh-uh...

Now...now, now, don't tell me...

Ummm...saint Bernard.

Alicia: Close.

Yorky...

Well, not a purebred, but a near miss.

Mason: Excuse my forwardness, but do you have dinner plans?

Alicia: Well, no.

Mason: May I call for you at your cabin about seven o'clock?

Alicia: My cabin?

Mason: Yes.

Alicia: Ah, well...Tell you the truth, I haven't unpacked yet...

Mason: Oh.

Alicia: ...It's a little bit messy...

Why don't we meet in the dining room?

Mason: Fine...fine.

Now tell me, are you having a problem with fleas?

Alicia: Well, as a matter of fact, yes...Especially in hot weather.

Mason: Oh...yes.

Julie: ...Well, everybody seems to be enjoying themselves.

Doc: Well, what's not to enjoy?

Mexican fiesta night's one of the highlights of the trip.

Margaritas, chicken in mole, and fried bananas.

Gopher: Mexico, my Mexico...

That ol' black magic's got me in its spell...

That ol'...

Doc: Hold it.

"Old black magic?"

Gopher: I never learned Spanish.

Julie: Suzanna, you look sensational.

Suzanna: I look okay?

Julie: Yes.

Suzanna: I'm dining at the captain's table.

Julie: Oh, let me show you the way.

It's right over here.

Suzanna: I mean, I want everything to be just right.

I'm sure he doesn't just let anybody eat with him...

Or possibly he does.

Captain: Miss Wells, I'm glad you could join us.

Alan: Wow...are those real diamonds?

Suzanna: They cost eight thousand dollars.

Would you like to see the bill?

Alan: I only meant, I've never seen...

Forget it...

You had more class when you were a waitress.

Isaac: Hi.

Selena: Hi.

Isaac: Not eating?

Selena: Not hungry.

Isaac: Another water?

Selena: Maybe something a little stronger.

Isaac: Right...some orange juice.

Selena: Scotch rocks...And go easy on the orange juice.

Isaac: Okay.

Selena: So, did you solve that man's problem?

Isaac: What man?

Selena: The guy on deck today...Who wanted a real relationship.

Isaac: Oh...him.

No, that's just a guy who's been through the wringer.

Selena: And you?

Isaac: Oh, I'm more your drip dry.

Selena: I don't believe that.

Isaac: Well, if you're all set...I have to go open up the acapulco lounge...

Your replacement bartender will be here in a minute.

Selena: Oh...

Isaac: Something else you need?

Selena: How are you fixed for advice?

Isaac: Oh...That's just a miss, myth...

Myth, miss...

Bartenders' advice isn't any better than anyone else's.

We're just freer with it.

Selena: Well, what I really need is for someone to talk to.

Isaac: Okay.

I'm all ears.

Alicia: You know my little cricket is practically human.

You know at times she'll cock her little head and scrunch her little face up

and I could swear that she was pondering some deep philosophical question.

I expect her to speak English and solve the international monetary crises.

Mason: Ohhh...

Alicia: Mason, what's the matter?

Mason: I miss king.

Oh, I know my houseman is taking good care of him, but...

This is about the time I'd be dishing out his kibble...

He likes it with...A little chopped sirloin thrown in.

Alicia: Awww...

Mason: It's not fair.

They allow people to bring their children on board.

Alicia: Mason, come to my cabin...I'm going to cheer you up.

Mason: Things move awfully fast on a ship.

Selena: ...And Jimmy wants to get married next month.

But it was like you were saying...A person has to be sure.

Isaac: Why aren't you?

You said he was good to you.

Selena: Yes.

Very good.

Isaac: Then what?

Are you afraid you're gonna make a commitment and then he'll walk?

Selena: No.

Gopher: Hey, Isaac, how'd you like...Oh wait...

Doc: Excuse us.

Isaac: Look.

Let's start again.

This time in English.

Selena: I think it's me.

I've been through one lousy marriage and I'm not sure if i'm ready to take on the responsibility...

Make the sacrifices...You have to give up so much.

Isaac: That's just a cop-out.

When it's right, there are no sacrifices.

As much as you give him, he's gonna give it right back to you...

That's what they call love, Selena.

Selena: I was right about you.

You're beautiful.

Isaac: Thank you.

Selena: No...thank you.

Isaac: I'll never learn.

Alicia: Well, here we are.

Mason: Alicia, wouldn't you like to have a drink?

In the bar?

With other people?

Alicia: Oh, I've got some Sherry in my cabin.

Mason: Well, I prefer champagne.

Alicia: I've got some of that, too.

Mason: How 'bout slivowitz?

Alicia: Oh.

Mason...

Mason: Alicia, everything is happening so quickly.

Alicia: But, Mason, I'm just trying to lift your spirits.

Mason: Well, thanks.

But...why don't we at least have a dance first.

Alicia: Alright.

Captain: Things can't be that bad.

Alan: You mean it could be worse?

Captain: ...Where's suzanna?

Alan: Probably down in her cabin stuffing money in her mattress.

Captain: Now, Alan.

Alan: Aw, it's not her fault, captain.

Every time I open my mouth, I...I stick my foot in it.

"Are those real diamonds?" No wonder she's convinced I'm after her money.

Suzanna: Oh, if this money makes me so miserable, maybe I should just give it all away.

Julie: Well, why don't we start with the Julie McCoy foundation for the permanently broke.

Suzanna: Oh, listen to me.

Now if Alan had said that, I would have been mad.

Oh, why can't I trust him?

Maybe he does love me.

Alan: I might as well forget it.

She'll never believe I love her for herself.

Captain: Well, in that case, perhaps you should tack to the leeward instead of the windward.

Alan: That's terrific.

Here I'm having a romantic problem, and you're playing admiral of the fleet.

Captain: I mean...Maybe you should get a little devious...

Really devious.

Gopher: Lover's tiff?

Isaac: Um...she's not my lover.

She's already got a guy.

Doc: I don't see one.

Gopher: She'd probably love to dance.

Isaac: Then why don't you dance with her.

Look, I've already played this game and I know how it ends.

Lady one thousand...Washington zero.

Gopher: Look...i am not suggesting matrimony.

I am suggesting the Latin hustle.

Doc: What's all this business about winning or losing.

We're just talking about having a little fun.

Isaac: Well, there's nobody to watch the bar.

Gopher: Hey, What'll be, mister?

An extra dry Martini?

Doc: On the rocks?

Straight up?

With or without a twist?

Isaac: Okay, you guys.

Try not to poison anybody.

Doc: Okay.

What're you havin'?

Step right up.

Who'd like a drink?

Isaac: Do you want to trip the light...?

Selena: Fantastic.

Isaac: Fantastic.

Suzanna: This money is making me crazy.

Julie: Well, I'd like enough just to make me slightly loony.

Suzanna: Well, I'm not gonna let this happen to me.

I'm gonna go and apologize to Alan and give this thing another chance.

Julie: Good for you.

Suzanna: But what if he really is a rat?

He doesn't love me, just my loot.

Julie: For heaven's sakes.

Suzanna: You're right...

You are right.

Julie: Okay.

Captain: Miss Wells, may I speak to you for a moment, please.

Suzanna: Perhaps later, captain.

Captain: I don't ordinarily interfere in the private lives of my passengers, but...

What I have just heard is the most...Well, the most shocking

case of out and out fortune hunting I've ever come across.

Suzanna: Alan?

Captain: What can I say.

He told me the only reason he's on this ship is to get his hands on your money.

Suzanna: Ohhhh...

Captain: His scheme also includes a quickie marriage in Mazatlan.

Suzanna: So I was right all along.

Well...i will teach him a lesson he will never forget.

Julie: Oh...captain...

Captain: Hm?

Julie: I wish that there was something I could do.

Captain: Just remember me at academy awards time.

Alicia: Oh, Mason, I'm so glad that you suggested that we go dancing.

Mason: Yes.

Alicia: You know, I don't think I've had as much fun in years.

Mason: Me, either.

Alicia: Oh...

Now this time you will come in.

Mason: Try and stop me.

Alicia: And Mason...

I think you're going to be amazed...Delighted.

Mason: Amazed and delighted.

Alicia: Close your eyes.

Mason: All right.

Alicia: Right in here.

Mason: Okay.

Alicia: Now you stand right there.

Mason: Yes.

Alicia: Oh, and Mason...You must promise me never to breathe a word of this to anyone.

Mason: Never.

I am a gentleman...

Mmm...that perfume.

I can't...I can't describe it.

It's...it's like an animal musk.

Alicia: I'm ready, darling.

Mason: Oh...

Alicia: You're not gonna believe this.

Okay, open your eyes.

Mason: All right...

Oh...

Alicia: You see.

Mason, that really was a dog this morning.

Mason, this is cricket.

Cricket, this is Mason.

Mason: She's adorable.

It wasn't what I was expecting.

Alicia: Oh, I know.

You probably thought she'd be much bigger.

Go ahead and pet her.

She just loves people.

Mason: Oh.

Alicia: Most people...Cricket, cricket...

What's come over you?...I don't understand.

She's usually such a good judge of character.

Mason: Well...this character better call it a night.

Mason: Goodnight.

Alicia: Well, goodnight...

Cricket, come on now.

Give me a break.

I don't meet that many nice men that you should chase them away.

Julie: Barkeep...

May I have a grasshopper, please.

Gopher: A grasshopper.

Yes, ma'am.

Doc: Oh, coming right up...

What color is a grasshopper?

Julie: Well, unless the last one I had was moldy, they're green.

Gopher: They're green.

Grasshoppers are green.

So, we want to go with the...

Doc: Ahhh...

Creme De menthe.

Gopher: The creme De menthe.

And if I were the creme De menthe, where would I be?

Doc: There it is.

I'll put it in the shaker with the ice.

Gopher: Put it in the shaker with the ice.

Okay.

Doc: Well, shake it, that's why they call it a shaker.

Gopher: Careful, sometimes they charge when they're wounded.

Okay...

Doc: Careful.

Gopher: Hey...do I tell you how to perform open heart surgery?

You're dealing with a master.

Julie: On second thought...Make it a perfect Rob Roy.

Suzanna: Anyway...i want you to know that this money stuff's all behind us.

I trust you implicitly.

Alan: Great.

I was beginning to think this was gonna be one of those days when I couldn't make a nickel...

There I go again.

Suzanna: Never mind.

I know you love me.

And I love you, too...Alan, let's not wait another moment longer.

Let's get married in Mazatlan...Tomorrow.

Alan: Oh, my darling.

You've...you've made me the happiest man in the bank...In the world...

In the world.

P.A. voice: Good morning and welcome to Mazatlan.

We hope you enjoy your day.

Isaac: Here you go.

Alicia: Oh, thank you.

Selena: Good morning.

Isaac: Morning.

Selena: Oh, Isaac, thanks again for last night.

I haven't danced like that in ages.

Isaac: You mean your fiancé doesn't take you dancing?

Selena: No...

Well, thanks again.

I'll see you.

Isaac: Okay.

Doc: You see?

A couple of dances don't necessarily lead to a broken heart.

Gopher: Sure.

You're happy...She's happy and you had a little fun.

Isaac: Yeah.

It was fun.

Doc: Maybe we could open a dating bureau.

Gopher: Right.

I'll have my attorney call your attorney.

Doc: What do you suppose they'll say to each other?

Gopher: Oh...whatever they do in legal gup-gup.

Mason: Ah, reading poetry in the sunshine.

Alicia: Yes.

Mason: Browning?

Alicia: No.

I usually freckle.

Mason: I must say, you have a charming sense of humor.

You know, we really do have a great deal in common.

Alicia: Well, you know, that's true...Especially our love of dogs.

Mason: Oh, yes.

Alicia: Now, Mason, about last night.

Now you mustn't go too much by first impressions.

Cricket's a dear, really.

It's just that, well, I've had her since she was a tiny puppy.

Oh, true, she gets a little bossy once in a while, but she just thinks she's taking care of me.

Mason: You take excellent care of her.

Alicia: Oh, thank you.

Well, it's just a matter of good grooming, a sensible diet...

A little treat thrown in once in a while.

Oh, did I tell you that cricket is an absolute fiend for Swiss cheese?

Mason: Swiss cheese?

Alicia: Oh, which reminds me.

I'd better go and give her her mid-morning snack.

Mason: Bye

Julie: Mr. Randolph.

Are you enjoying yourself?

Mason: Yes.

But...i have this sudden craving for Swiss cheese.

Julie: Well, I'll have the steward bring you a Swiss cheese on rye.

Mason: Perfect.

But tell them to hold the rye.

Julie: Yes, sir.

Swiss cheese on nothing.

Alan: Suzanna.

What are you doing lying around in a bikini?

Suzanna: Attracting a lot of men, I hope.

Alan: You're supposed to be dressed for our wedding.

Suzanna: Oh...i knew there was something I was supposed to do.

Silly me.

Alan: I don't understand you.

Suzanna: But I understand you, Alan.

Thanks to the captain there.

Alan: What?

Captain: Yes.

I told her about your rotten scheme.

Marrying a lovely girl like this for her money.

Did you think I'd let you get away with it, you...No good bum?

Alan: All right, you got me.

I was after your money.

Oh, but it wasn't for me, suzanna.

It was for my little old white-haired mother.

It's her heart.

She needs a pacemaker.

Suzanna: Your mother has red hair and she's in perfect health.

She doesn't need a pacemaker.

Alan: She needs a dune buggy?...

Aw, come on.

Don't act like that.

So, we're not getting married.

We can still hang out together.

Have a few laughs.

Suzanna: Are you crazy?

Why would I hang out with a self-confessed rat?

Alan: Because when you meet somebody else you'll begin to wonder if he's a rat.

At least with me, you know what you're getting.

Selena: Hi.

Isaac: Hi.

Selena: Where are you going?

Isaac: Oh, I'm gonna go swingin' on a cloud.

Selena: Really?

Isaac: Yeah.

Selena: Oh, it sounds great.

Isaac: You want to come along?...

Great.

You ever been parachuting before?

Selena: Well, not exactly.

Well, we used to sky-dive, but then Jimmy...

Isaac: Jimmy...your fiancé?

Selena: Yes.

Isaac: Would you do me a favor?

Leave Jimmy on the ship, okay?

Selena: Okay.

Alicia: Who is it?

Mason: It's just me.

Hi.

Alicia: Hi.

Mason: A little something sweet for you.

Alicia: Oh, thank you.

Mason: And a little something cheesy for your cabin mate.

Alicia: Oh...mason.

Swiss cheese.

You think of everything.

Mason: Here you go, girl.

Your favorite treat.

Alicia: Come on, cricket.

Look, a gift from an admirer.

Cricket?...cricket?

I don't understand, Mason.

She's never rejected Swiss cheese before.

Mason: It's no use.

This dog just doesn't like me.

Alicia: But I like you, Mason.

That's all that counts.

Don't worry so much about cricket.

She'll come around.

Mason: I hope so.

You wouldn't happen to have a loaf of rye bread handy, would you?

Alicia: Would pumpernickel do?

Mason: Pumpernickel...

All right.

Selena: Oh...isaac...

Doc: Ah...the prodigal bartender returns.

Gopher: Where were you all day?

Isaac: Well, no place special.

Selena: Ah, we had a fabulous afternoon.

We went parachuting and then we went running on the beach and then we found this great little bar...

Isaac: I just remembered, I left the water running in my cabin.

Selena: Well, I'll help you bail.

Gopher: Whoops...isaac's falling.

Doc: Yeah.

We're the ones who tripped him.

Gopher: Ain't we devils.

Mason: I just remembered about the midnight buffet.

Maybe cricket would like a lobster tail.

Alicia: Mason...please, now I know you want cricket to accept you, but you're pushing.

It'll happen.

I promise.

In the meantime...Why don't you concentrate on me.

Mason: Yes...

Maybe she'd rather have the caviar.

Alan: To the most beautiful girl in the world.

To your mouth...Your neck...Your arms...

Suzanna: Alan...

Alan: Just admiring your assets.

Isaac: Oh hey...You care to...Match moves with me?

Selena: You call those moves?

Honey, I dance...You just walk around a lot.

Isaac: Oh, really?

Why don't you put your feet where your mouth is.

Selena: Well, that's not gonna be too easy...

Oh!

Isaac: My leg...

Gopher: Will he live, doctor?

Doc: He'll live, but he may never walk again.

Isaac: Selena!

Selena!...

Selena...we were just kidding.

Don't cry.

Honest.

Selena: Oh, Isaac.

Isaac: Selena?

You know how we were talking about finding the right person?

Someone to share everything with?...

Isn't that what we've been doing?...I'm crazy about you...

More tears?

You're a regular faucet...

Maybe...maybe we tried to do too much today.

You got tired...

Why don't you get some sleep...Then we'll talk about it tomorrow.

Selena: Isaac...

Isaac: Tomorrow.

Mason: The cruise is almost over.

Alicia: Yes.

Mason: Do you think...Do you think we could see each other in the city?

Alicia: Oh yes, Mason.

Yes.

Mason: Alicia?

May I kiss you?

Alicia: Oh, yes...

Yes...

Oh, Mason...

Mason: Alicia.

Alicia: Mason...let's not say goodnight.

Mason: Well...what about the dog?

Maybe we should go to my cabin.

Alicia: No, I can't leave her alone all night.

She'll be asleep.

She won't bother us.

Mason: Okay...

Shh...

Alicia: Come on.

Mason: Shhh...

Alicia: I'll be right out.

Mason: I'll be waiting...

Ah...oh...

Be quiet and go to sleep...

Quiet...quiet.

Sit.

Roll over.

Play dead...

Oh, no, cricket!

Cricket, come back here.

Cricket!

Alicia: I'm ready, darling...Mason?...Cricket?

Mason: She got out.

Alicia: Oh, no.

Cricket!

Cricket!

Mason: You're buggin' me.

Suzanna: Well, this is where I live.

Alan: Nice building...

You...you wouldn't consider kissing a dirty dog like me, would you?

Suzanna: Nah...

Alicia: Cricket!

Cricket!

Mason: Cricket, where are you?

Alicia: Cricket?!

Mason: Cricket!

Cricket!

Isaac: Did you ever look at someone and see fireworks and

hear music in your head like you've never heard it before?

Gopher: Yeah.

One fourth of July at Disneyland.

Isaac: I guess you guys have forgotten what it's like to be in love.

Doc: Isaac, I hate to rain on your parade, but I thought Selena already had a guy.

Isaac: The key word is had.

He's out.

And...I'm in.

Gopher: Wait a minute.

I thought you were just gonna have some fun.

Doc: Like I said, it's not winning or losing.

Isaac: Right.

It's how you play the game.

Alicia: Cricket!

Here girl!

Here girl!

Cricket?

Excuse me...

But have you seen my dog?

Gopher: Dog?

Alicia: Yes.

Her name is cricket.

And she's almost a Yorkshire terrier.

There must be a million places she could go.

Doc: She'd better not.

The captain'll have a fit.

Mason: There she is!

Alicia: Cricket!

Mason: Cricket!

Alicia: Cricket, here girl!

Gopher: This is completely against the rules.

I thought everybody knew that.

I mean, what am I supposed to do?

Stand out on the deck and hand out leaflets?

I mean, what's gonna happen when the captain finds out?...

The captain.

Julie: Captain, I think it's wonderful what you're doing for Alan.

Captain: Well, you know, every once in a while we have to reach out and help our fellow human beings...

Otherwise, this world would just go to the dogs.

Julie: Sir, when you're right, you're right...

Did I tell you about the terrific shop I found in Mazatlan?

Alicia: Cricket just loves to skinny-dip at night.

Captain: Well, I obviously don't have a choice.

I'm going to have to bend the rules a little.

Cricket can stay in your cabin...Purser Smith, order some soup bones for the hound.

Alicia: Oh, thank you, captain.

Gopher: Yes, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Captain: What makes you think you're off the hook?

Mason: Now...where were we?

Alicia: Stop that.

Mason: It...it's no use, Alicia.

I'm Romeo...You're Juliet, but cricket won't let me near the balcony.

Alicia: Oh, Mason, don't go.

Mason: Please, don't make it any more difficult than it is.

Another time...Another place...

Another dog...

Suzanna: ...Well, here I am absolutely madly in love with Alan.

Julie: Well, I think that's terrific suzanna.

Suzanna: Are you crazy?

He admits that he only wants my money.

Julie: Well, sure, but haven't you figured that out?

It's all part of the captain's plan.

Suzanna: Plan?

Julie: Sure.

The captain saw that you were suspicious of Alan, and he figured,

well, if your suspicions were confirmed...Maybe you could just

relax and give yourself a chance to fall in love.

Suzanna: That is downright sneaky.

Julie: Oh, well, captain stubing graduated top of his class at

the maritime academy of sneakiness.

Suzanna: So...you thought up that crazy scheme...

And you went along with it?...

Well, let me tell you something, buster...It worked.

Julie: Oh, captain.

Thank you.

Isaac: Florist.

Hey, sleepyhead.

I've come to escort you through the wilds of Los Angeles.

Oh, hi, Florence.

Is miss Moore in?

Maid: Why no, Isaac.

I think she's left.

Isaac: Thank you.

Gopher: Oh, thank you, but I prefer chocolates.

Isaac: Listen, have you Selena?

Doc: Yes, she just left.

Sorry, Isaac.

Isaac: You forgot to say goodbye.

It is goodbye.

Selena: Oh, Isaac, I can't explain.

It would only come out wrong.

But believe me, I meant it when I said you were beautiful.

You're everything a woman could want.

Isaac: But why...

Jimmy: Selena!

Selena: Jimmy!...

Oh, Jimmy...Oh...Oh...

Isaac: Excuse me.

Beautiful roses for a beautiful lady.

Woman: For me?

Oh, thank you.

Isaac: My pleasure.

"The love boat will continue in a moment."

Mason: Alicia, I couldn't leave without giving you this.

A little memento of the time we spent together.

Alicia: Oh, Mason.

A sterling silver dog whistle.

Mason: Goodbye, Alicia.

Alicia: Goodbye...cricket, sometimes I wish you were a goldfish.

Mason: Hello, king...

How are you, old boy?

Alicia: Cricket!

Cricket!...

Oh look, Mason, it's wonderful.

They're crazy about each other.

Mason: You know what they say...Two dogs can live as cheaply as one.

Alicia: Oh, Mason...