Original subtitles

Love,

exciting and new.

Come aboard,

stubbingwe're expecting you.

And love,

life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow,

it floats back to you.

The love boat,

soon we'll making another run.

The love boat,

promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,

your mind on a new romance.

And love,

won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile,

on a friendly shore.

It's love,

welcome aboard it's love.

Doc: Hey guys, listen, I've got a great idea for a four day Liberty when we get back.

Come with me to Vegas....

That town's my kind of medicine.

Gopher: Oh, doc....

I promised I'd visit my cousin in beautiful downtown Burbank.

Doc: Send me a postcard.

Isaac?

Isaac: Oh....

Sorry, doc.

Doc: Well, that leaves you and me, gorgeous.

Julie: Well, I'm going to Oregon to see my family.

Doc: Ah, that's too bad.

You could be doing the town instead of doing the dishes.

But, if duty calls....

Julie: Doc, it isn't duty.

I love my family.

I see them every chance I can.

Doc: Well, sure.

Look, if you see your family once a year,

and your dentist twice...Well, that's enough suffering for anybody.

Julie: Why does he have to be so cynical about family?

Isaac: That's sour grapes.

He wishes he had a family of his own.

Gopher: Yeah.

Doc may be laughing on the outside, but inside...Sometimes he's a desperately lonely guy.

Amber: Oh, Dr. Bricker.

Doc: Well, hi.

Amber: My name's Amber.

Gopher: Of course, this isn't one of those times.

Amber: My girlfriend met you on a cruise last summer and she hasn't stopped talking about

you.

Doc: Oh, I hate patients who kiss and tell.

Amber: What time are your office hours?

Doc: Office hours?

For you I'll make a cabin call.

Amber: Oooh....

Doc: Oooh...

Gloria: Oh!

Doc: Oh!

Are you okay?...

I'm...

I'm a doctor.

Gloria: Well, is this how you drum up business?

Doc: Oh...

I'm sorry.

Gloria: It's all right.

I'm...

I'm Gloria hancock.

This is my husband, George.

Doc: Adam bricker...Ship's klutz.

This is Amber.

Amber: How do you do?

Gloria: Hello.

George: Well, come on, glory.

Let's get our gear stowed and get squared away.

Well, we'll see you later, Adam...

Amber.

Gloria: It was nice bumping into you.

Doc: Ever see a real live stethoscope?

Amber: No......

Hank: Uh oh... I'm in love.

Diane: Is that a whistle, or did your brain just boil over?

Hank: Hey...cute.

You know, I should help you find your cabin.

I mean this is a big boat.

You could get lost.

Diane: That's just what I was thinking.

Get lost.

Julie: Excuse me.

I realize you're new on this ship, but making leering remarks to the passengers is not your job.

Hank: Ah-hah.

Well, whose job is it?

'Cause I'd like to swap.

Julie: I apologize.

This really never happens.

Diane: Oh, it's okay.

I can handle it.....

And I do mean 'it'....

I'm Diane De marzo.

Julie: Oh, Diane!

I've been expecting you.

I'm Julie McCoy...

Cruise director....

Is that the winthrop cup?

How beautiful.

Diane: It weighs a ton.

Julie: Oh, I'm sure captain stubbing will be delighted to take it off your hands.

Imagine...

Captain of the year.

Diane: Captain of the year number fifty-three.

Julie: Really?

Diane: Yes, Mr. Winthrop's family presented the first trophy back in the twenties.

Julie: Oh, I wonder why they decided to give a cup to captains.

Diane: Maybe they don't like tipping.

Julie: Oh, here's captain stubing.

I know he wants to meet you.

Captain?

Captain: Yes.

Julie: This is miss Diane De marzo.

She represents Sheridan winthrop.

Captain: I'm delighted.

I can't wait to get my hands on your cup.

Oh, I mean, Mr. Winthrop's cup....

Is he here yet?

Diane: Not yet.

P.a. voice: Captain stubing to the bridge, please.

Captain stubing to the bridge.

Captain: Well, I'd better be going.

If I'm not doing my job when Mr.

Winthrop arrives, he may take back his award.

Bye bye.

Diane: Bye bye.

Danny: Hello.

I'm Danny holt.

Gopher: Mr. Holt.

Oh, that's... promenade deck, three forty.

That's a super cabin.

Danny: I hope so.

I've been saving up for it since d-day.

Gopher: World war two?

Danny: No d as in divorce.

Gopher: Oh...sorry.

Danny: Listen to him.

I make the alimony payments and you're sorry.

Hey, I'm not bitter.

Broke, but not bitter.

Gopher: Well, don't let it get you down, Mr. Holt.

There's lot of single women on these cruises to take your mind off all your troubles.

Danny: How about a single man....To marry my ex-wife?

Gopher: Oh....

I'm single.

Danny: Ah, thanks, pal...

You're much too young to die.

Gopher: Hello.

Anne: Hello.

Anne sterling.

Gopher: Gopher Smith.

Is that miss sterling or Mrs. sterling?

Anne: Miss....

Is that Mr. Smith or Mr. Smith?

Gopher: That's Mr. Smith.

Anne: It's hard to tell when you're not wearing a wedding band.

Gopher: Ah, here we are.

That's promenade deck...Three forty-eight.

Oh, you're a lawyer...

You're here with the bar association group.

Anne: Hm-hm.

That's the one.

Gopher: Criminal?

Anne: In a way.

I handle divorces.

Gopher: I bet you've never lost a case.

Anne: In a divorce everyone loses, but me.

How do you think I paid for this cruise?

Good bye.

Gopher: Bye.

George: Hey, doc, don't give up now.

Gloria: Us jocks are just getting warmed up.

Take a deep breath.

Doc: You two are runners, huh?

Gloria: I met George when he was running for the Harvard track team in nineteen twenty seven.

Doc: You've been together for fifty years?

Gloria: Yup.

George: Pretty soon we might even get married.

Gloria: Does your whole family exercise, Adam?

Doc: No, I'm afraid my folks didn't make it for a long run.....

Orioles.

You're from Baltimore?

George: Yup.

Ever been there?

Doc: Ever been there?

I went to Johns Hopkins.

Gloria: So nice to meet somebody from home.

George: Yeah.

I think that calls for a little...Drink.

Doc: Oh, that wouldn't be scotch, would it?

Gloria: Close.

George: Turnip juice.

Captain: Ah, there you are, miss De marzo.....

Mr. Winthrop is not with you?

Diane: Well, captain, as a matter of fact....

Captain: You know, winning the winthrop cup is one thing, but having Mr.

Winthrop present it in person...

Diane: But, captain, he...

Captain: And I am not unaware of all your efforts.

Now I am writing your public relations company a glowing report.

Well, I'll see you and Mr.

Winthrop at dinner tonight.

Captain's table.

Hank: Still got me on your mind, huh?.....

You all right?

Can I help?

Diane: The only one that can help is winthrop, and he's not even here.

Hank: So your boyfriend didn't show, huh?

Well, let me tell you something.

Anything he can do I can do.

I mean I can be taller, I can be shorter.

For you sweet lady...Anything.

Diane: Could you meet me in cabin PR one-oh-nine in ten minutes?

Hank: You mean that?

Diane: Yes.

Hank: Ten minutes?

Diane: Yes.

Hank: Want to make it five?

Gopher: Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Hi....hi....

Mr. Holt, you still alone?...

Yeah, I guess it's too hard to choose, hm?

Danny: No, it's not that.

You see, when you've just broken the chains of matrimony...The last thing you want to think about is shackling up again.

Isaac: Well, you know what they say...When you have a bad fall,

the only thing to do is to get right back up on that horse again.

Gopher: Yea...

Look at the legs on that filly.

Danny: Oh no...

It's her.

The vampire.

Gopher: It's your ex-wife?

Danny: Worse.

Her divorce lawyer.

That's the one that cleaned me out.

Isaac: That gorgeous girl?

Danny: That gorgeous girl is jaws in a bathing suit.

Hank: I picked them just for you.....Outta the garbage.

They were gonna throw 'em out.

Diane: Well...come on in, Hank.

Hank: Yeah, right...

Oh, wow....

And I thought I had a nice cabin.

Diane: Umm...sit down.

Hank: Yeah.

Diane: Hank.....I'm in trouble.

Hank: What?

Oh, you poor kid....

Who did it?

That guy that dumped you?

Diane: Not that kind of trouble.

I'm a press agent.

It was my job to get Sheridan winthrop on board to present this cup to captain stubing tomorrow night.

But he didn't show up.

Hank: That fink....

Who is this Sheridan winthrop?

Diane: He's a philanthropist...A millionaire...A playboy.

Hank: A fink.

Diane: I could lose my job.

Will you help me?

Hank: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

I'll help.

Diane: All you gotta do is impersonate winthrop tomorrow night.

Hank: What're you kidding?

Me make like a millionaire?

Diane: You can do it.

Hank: I'll have to press my pants.

Diane: His clothes were sent ahead.

You're just about the same size....

Look, I'll pay you for it.

Hank: Hey, hey...

I'm not into money.

I'm into love.

Diane: Will you do it?

Hank: I'll tell you....

I'll tell you in a minute......

Yeah.

Sure.

Gopher: Hi, Amber.

Amber: Oh, hi, gopher.

Gopher: Doc not with you?

Amber: No, he's skipping rope.

Gopher: Oh....fool.

Amber: Don't you just love the sea?

Gopher: Actually, we're just good friends.

Amber: Oh.....

Julie: Hi, gopher.

Hi, Amber.

Gopher: Hi.

Amber: Hi.

Julie: Gopher and Amber?

Hm.

Gopher: What is that terrycloth?

Amber: I think it's cotton.

Gopher: Oh.....

What's this?

Amber: Looks like it's starch.

Gopher: Well, I lost a button.

Diane: Oh, I forgot to tell you.

Winthrop always keeps his hand in his jacket pocket...And he stands very casual.

Diane: Close enough.

Go ahead.

Hank: ...Ah, therefore, ladies and gentlemen, on these auspicious circumstances....

Diane: No, no, no, no.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

He has this funny way of talking.

Teeth clenched, stiff jaw, very, very upper class.

Hank: You mean like Ronald Coleman?

Diane: Yeah.

Hank: I can do Ronald Coleman....

It's a far, far better thing I do this day...

Diane: That...that's the way he talks.

That's good.

Hank: All right?

Do you mind telling me...If that's the way he talks?

How does he kiss?

Diane: Ah...

Hank: You mean you'd say no...To the queen's vizier?

Diane: Yes

Julie: Excuse me, I have a dinner companion for you.

I'd like you to meet...

Danny: I just lost my appetite.

Anne: Danny, what a coincidence.

Danny: I thought you promised me a nice dinner companion.

Anne: I am nice.

I hardly ever spill anything.

Julie: Ah, gee, it sounds like you two have met.

Danny: Do you know who you're sticking me with?

This is my ex-wife's lawyer...

Dracula in drag.

Julie: I'm sorry.

It'd be better if I found you another table.

Danny: How about another ship?

Anne: Look, I only handled your wife's divorce.

You caused it.

Danny: I caused it?

I caused it?!!!

Julie: Now wait a minute and I'll go get a referee.

Ah, excuse me.

The maitre'd.

Excuse me.

Anne: That's okay.

Danny: Don't sit down.

Don't sit down.

Don't sit down.

Anne: Relax, Danny boy.

I'll pay for my own dinner.

Danny: There is no charge for dinner.

Anne: Oh, good.

Then I'll pay for yours, too...

Passenger: I must say it's an honor to be sailing with the captain of the year.

Captain: Thank you.

But it's not official till tomorrow night.

Julie: Yes, sir?

Captain: We've been holding dinner for a half hour.

Is Mr. Winthrop avoiding me?

Julie: Oh, I hardly think so, sir.

But I do understand he has a reputation with the ladies....If you know what I mean.

Captain: Well, surely he'd rather have dinner with me than.......Oh.....

Ah, check his cabin for me, will you please?

Julie: Yes, sir.

Gloria: ....All over the world....

And one afternoon in Kyoto, we met this darling man who led us through his botanical garden,

and at every leaf and blossom he would pick a petal and give it

to us to sniff the fragrance.

George: We correspond several times a year.

He's like our member of the family in Japan.

Gloria: And you can be a member of our family on the high seas.

Doc: Well, I'd be honored.

Gopher: Good evening.

Amber: Hi.

Where are you off to?

Gopher: The lido deck.

Thought I'd go boogie.

Doc: Amber, would...Would you like to dance with gopher?

Amber: Oh, great.

Oh, please excuse me.

Gopher: Doc...you sure you don't mind?

Doc: I'm not the man I used to be, gopher.

I can only handle one at a time....

Well, where did you go after Kyoto?

Have you ever been to Hong Kong?

Diane: Yes?

Julie: Oh, miss De marzo....

Captain stubing was expecting Mr.

Winthrop for dinner.

Diane: Oh...he's very busy.

He's...he's dining in.

Julie: Oh, well perhaps he'll have time then for dessert.

Diane: Ah, no....See that's impossible....He'll see the captain tomorrow.

Julie: But...

Diane: Goodnight.

Diane: Hank, we've got a lot to do.

Hank: I know, but you won't let me do it.

Diane: Come on.

Let's go over it again...

Polo.

Hank: Well, it's an absolutely fascinating sport and I think everyone should have a string of

ponies.

Diane: Paris.

Hank: Paris, well....

First we have the le champs elysees...Ah, the George cinq...And le tour d'argent.

Diane: Politics.

Hank: Ah....well...well, as father said...After Herbert hoover, the family just lost interest.

How'm I doin'?

Diane: Great.......

Hank, there's a lot more.

Hank: Yeah.

You're tellin' me.

George/gloria: A-roving...a-roving...a-roving's been my ru-i-n...

I'll go no more a-roving.....With you...Fair maid.

Gloria: Oh, Adam, George and I are going into puerto vallarta tomorrow.

Won't you join us?

Doc: Well, I've only been to puerto vallarta about, oh...A hundred and forty-eight times.

George: You ever been to consuelo's?

Doc: Consuelo's?...

No.

George: Well, then you've never been to puerto vallarta.

Doc: Okay.

You've got a date....

George: Viva consuelo!

All: Viva consuelo!

Gloria: Viva!

Amber: Isn't this kind of dancing romantic?

Gopher: Are we dancing?

Amber: I bet it's even more romantic up on the bow...

Watching the moon and the waves....The stars.....Just the two of us...Alone.

Gopher: What about....

Doc?

Amber: Do we need him?

Gopher: You're right.

What do we need doc for?

It's much too early for blood tests.

Danny: I just can't believe she's on the same ship!

Julie: Oh, Mr. Holt, I want to apologize for seating you with miss sterling.

I had no idea...

Danny: Ha...ha...sure.

All you women are gangin' up on me.

First my ex-wife and then that cutie-pie lawyer of hers, now you....

We...we men haven't got a chance.

Isn't that right, Isaac?

Isaac: Well, I kinda agree with you.

Men get the short end in a divorce.

Julie: Oh, it evens up.

Women get the short end in a marriage.

Danny: Ever been married, Isaac?

Isaac: Hm-hmmm....

But...see doc over there?

Danny: He...what?

He's had four wives?

Isaac: What can I tell you?

Some men collect stamps.

Anne: Hey, Danny...Can I buy you a drink?

Danny: Oh, great.

With my own money she wants to buy me a drink.

Anne: Come on, don't be such a sore loser.

How 'bout a dance?

Danny: What for?

You want to squeeze a little more out of me?

Anne: No....

I just wanted to see if you're as clumsy as your wife says you are.

Danny: Clumsy?

Me clumsy?

Oh...oh...

I happen to be a very good dancer.

Anne: Oh...

Well, maybe she wasn't talking about your dancing.......

Goodnight, lover.

Hank: Therefore, in recognition of your distinguished career and your exemplary record,

I present you with the winthrop cup as captain of the year....

Would you please take this cup...

I have an incredible chick waiting.

Diane: Oh...

Hank.

That's very good.

I think I've put you through enough for one day.

Let's start fresh first thing in the morning.

Hank: Wait...wait...wait a second....

I'm a working stiff, remember?

And I got a job to do in the morning.

Diane: Oh, right.

I forgot.

Well, how 'bout working all night?

Hank: You're asking me to spend the night with you?

Diane: And work.

Hank: ...Therefore, in recognition of your distinguished career.......

Gopher: Who is it?

Doc: It's doc.

Gopher: Doc!

Get behind the door.

If doc catches us he'll go bananas........

Oh, doc, hi.

Doc: Hey, gopher, I'm goin' into puerto vallarta tomorrow with George and Gloria.

I was wondering if I could borrow your camera.

Gopher: Oh...it's yours.

Doc: Gee, thanks, gopher.

'Night, Amber.

Gopher: See what I mean?

Vicious when he's jealous.

Amber: Oh, don't you just love backgammon?

I play it all the time.

My serve......

Oh, a five and a four.....

Mmm....

Nine.

Danny: Have you ever thought of turning professional?

Gopher: Hi, Danny.

Danny: Hi.

Gopher: Amber.

Amber: Hi, gopher.

Are you working?

Gopher: I'm on a break.

Amber: Would you excuse me, Danny.

A break for gopher is a break for me.

Danny: Have a nice day.

Amber: You, too.

Anne: Cheating?

Danny: Will you please get off my back?

Anne: And cheating on yourself......

You very good at this?

Danny: It will cost you a dollar a point to find that out.

Anne: I usually play for two dollars a point.

Danny: Oh.

All right.

I'll compromise.

How 'bout five?

Anne: I hope you paid your alimony this month.

Captain: Ah, miss De marzo.

About your Mr. Winthrop.

Isn't he ever coming...

Diane: Well, he's still stuck in his cabin...Pouring over contracts, making deals...

You know how it is when you're a millionaire.

Captain: No, but I wouldn't mind giving it a try.

Diane: Don't worry, captain.

He'll be at the ceremony tonight.

Captain: I hope so.

I want a cup in my hand...Not egg on my face.

P.a. voice: We hope you enjoyed your stay in puerto vallarta.

We'll be arriving in cabo San Lucas at oh-eight-hundred tomorrow morning.

Doc: Viva consuelo....

George: Viva consuelo....

Gloria: Ole!

George: Areba!

Gloria: Now there are maracas for Phil...The wall hanging for homy.

George: Good...jumping beans for Luke...

Yup, still jumping.

Doc: You really love your family, don't you?

Gloria: We sure do.

Oh, that reminds me....

George: Oh...

Gloria: Here's a little something for you.

Doc: For me?....

The symbol of healing.....Ah, you shouldn't have done this.

George: Why not?

Gloria: After all, you're part of the family too.

Diane: Schools?

Hank: Ah, schools?

Harvard...

Cambridge....uh...

Diane: Eton.

Hank: Yeah...a cheeseburger for lunch.

Diane: Oh, silly.

That is the English school you went to.

Eton.

Hank: Right...right...right.

Diane: Well, I guess you're as ready as you'll ever be.

Hank: You better believe it.

Diane: I mean for the ceremony.

Hank: Which one?

The one tonight or the one tomorrow?

Diane: Tomorrow?

What are you talking about?

Hank: Well, tomorrow we get back to L.A.

And...

I thought maybe you might like to tie the knot.

Diane: What?

Hank: Tie the knot.

Get hitched.

Married.

Diane: Married?

Hank: Yeah.

I figured you'd like that, you know?

I'm nuts about you....

Two people are nuts about each other they...Get married, don't they?

Diane: Yes, Hank....

When two people love each other.

Hank: Oh.

Diane: I think you're a terrific guy, Hank...

Hank: I get the picture....

All that romantic stuff was just to keep me happy...So I'd do the winthrop act for you.

Diane: Well, listen, Hank, this is very important to me.

Hank: Right.

The job's important to you, and I'm not.

Diane: I didn't say that.

Hank: Sure you did....

So why don't you just....Go ahead and get yourself another boy...Get yourself another sucker.

Gopher: Oh...

Mr. Holt...

Mr. Holt...

Mr. Holt...

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

Your table's over there.

Julie told me we goofed on the seating arrangements.

Well, we're not gonna make the same mistake twice.

Danny: You already did.

I'm sitting with her.

Gopher: I should never listen to McCoy.

Anne: I thought you'd still be sulking cause I beat you at backgammon.

Danny: Ah, nah...

I hustled you.

Tonight we play for big stakes.

Anne: Mmm...speaking of steaks, the chateaubriand looks very good.

Danny: So do you......

I mean, your dress is beautiful.

Anne: Thank you.

Danny: You're welcome.

Anne: I don't mean thank you for the compliment.

I mean thank you for the dress.

Your divorce bought me this dress.

Danny: Don't you ever stop?

Anne: The earrings are from the turners...

The bracelet is from the kahns, and the necklace from the fosters......

Oh...good I made you laugh.

Danny: No, no, no.

I was just thinking....If there was no such thing as divorce, I'd be sitting here with a naked lady.

Captain: Wouldn't you know.

The night of my big ceremony, and here we are, still waiting for winthrop.

Gloria: Good evening.

Captain: Oh, good evening.

Gloria: Would you excuse us if we don't join you right away?

The moonlight is so lovely, we don't want to waste it.

Captain: Ah, a romantic stroll.

George: Maybe a few laps around the lido deck.

Will you excuse us?......

Captain: Please.

Enjoy yourselves.

Julie: Captain, you must be so excited.

Do you have a speech ready?

Captain: Oh, just a few off the cuff remarks.

Diane: Excuse me.

Captain: Yes?

Diane: Captain stubing, may I have a word with you?

Captain: Well, of course....

Right after the ceremony.

Diane: But, sir...It's about the ceremony.

You see, Mr. winthrop...He's....He's....

Captain: Speak up, miss De marzo...

Mr. Winthrop is what?

Diane: He's...he's....

Gopher: Ladies and gentlemen...Here to award our captain stubing the winthrop cup as captain of the

year...

Mr. Sheridan winthrop.

Diane: He's here!

Captain: Mr. Winthrop...It is an honor to meet you, sir.

Hank: Yes, I imagine it is somewhat fantastic.

Captain: I can't tell you what a great thrill this is for me.

Hank: Yes, so if you'd really like to have a thrill, I suggest Polo....

It's also absolutely fantastic....

And then, of course, there is...

Paris with the le champs elysees.

And the George cing and the...

Paris thing.

Have I ever told you about Herbert hoover?

Captain: Not yet.....

Shall we begin the ceremony?

Diane: Well....

Hank: Yes, of course....

Isaac: Excuse me, miss De marzo, you have a ship to shore call.

Captain: Ah, not now, Isaac, please.

Isaac: Well, the gentleman said it was urgent...A Mr. Winthrop.

Captain: Winthrop?

Diane: I'd better take it.

Excuse me.

Captain: If that's Mr. Winthrop on the phone...Then who's this?.......

Miss McCoy?

Julie: Yes, sir....

Captain stubing...This is Hank vosmik.

He's a member of our ship's crew.

Hank: Hi.

How are you, skipper?

Captain: I am not your skipper.

You're fired.

George: Doc, I need your help.

Gloria's fallen down the stairs.

Doc: Oh no......

Come on, Julie.

Julie: Sure.

Doc: How long before we get back to San Pedro?

Captain: Seven hours.

Doc: That's no good.

Find my nurse and tell her to start prepping emergency surgery.

Captain: Right.

Doc: Isaac...go to my office, get a gurney, bring it back here as fast as you can.

Isaac: Okay, doc.

Doc: Gopher?

Gopher: Yeah?

Doc: Set up a ship-to-shore call to Dr.

David Barnes at Wilshire memorial hospital in los Angeles.

I'll need a speaker in the examination room.

Gopher: You got it.

Doc: George, Gloria's badly hurt.

I have to operate.

I think that the fall fractured a rib...

And my concern is that she's bleeding internally.

George: Might she even die?

Doc: George, I'll do everything I can for her.

George: Glory, please don't....

Doc: Julie, Amber...

Get George to my office.

George, I promise you, she's gonna be okay.

Julie: Doc?

You can't make promises like that.

Doc: They're like my family, Julie....My family.........

Come on, Isaac!

Where's that gurney?!

Operator: Pacific Princess calling Wilshire memorial hospital.

Pacific Princess calling Wilshire memorial hospital.

Gopher: What's the delay?

Operator: Just a moment.

Woman (vo): Wilshire memorial....To pacific Princess.

Dr. Barnes is on the line.

Go ahead.

Operator: I've got him.

Gopher: Dr. Barnes?

Dr. Barnes: Yes.

Gopher: Okay.

Good.

Go ahead, doc.

Doc: David?

Adam bricker.

Dr. Barnes (vo): What's the problem, Adam?

Dr. Barnes: You don't need my little black book again, do you?

Doc: I need your help, David.

A woman in her early seventies in good general health, has fallen down a flight of stairs....

Preliminary examination indicates that a fractured rib has punctured the spleen.

Dr. Barnes: Adam, have you got a signed consent form?

Doc: Signed consent form?

David, she's...She's passed out and I'm not gonna put any more pressure on her husband.

How much time do I have?

Dr. Barnes: Two hours at the most.

That spleen has got to come out....

Is there another doctor aboard to assist?

Doc: No, just myself and a nurse.

Okay, let's go.

Talk to me, stay with me, David.

Sketch out the procedure...Then guide me through it, step by step.

Danny: Anne, I owe you a big fat thank you.

I got all puffed up with anger and hostility and...Self-pity.

But you punctured that.

You let it all out.

I feel better and I'm gonna stay that way.

Anne: It couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Danny: Thank you.....

Damn shame about marriage.

There aren't enough craftsmen in it.

Anne: You make it sound like a job.

Danny: It's not a job.

But work.

But if you like what you're doing...Work is a pleasure.

Anne: How many marriages do you know that are a pleasure?

Danny: Hey, now wait a minute.

I'm supposed to be the cynic here.

Not you....

You know, Anne, we live in a disposable generation.

Disposable lighters, disposable razors, disposable pens...

Anne: And disposable marriages.

Danny: Right....

Lilly and I...We took the easy way out.

A couple of things went wrong, and instead of working to fix them...We bailed out.....

We were dumb.

Anne: Sounds to me like you're still in favor of marriage.

Danny: Oh, absolutely.

I think it's mankind's finest gift to mankind.

Two people in love getting married, having children...

Those children growing up seeing love...Learning about love.

And then going out in the world and spreading that love.

Like ripples in water.

The circle keeps getting larger.

Anne: All my clients were in love...

When I meet them they're accusing and cursing each other.

Danny: It doesn't have to be like that....

If you're with the right person.....

Anne...you're a helluva woman....Even if you are a cynic.

Anne: If you'd kissed your wife like that, you'd probably still be married.

Danny: You're right......

Goodnight.

Anne: Goodnight.

Isaac: I just thought we might need this.

Amber: Would you like some coffee?

George: Glory always drank peppermint tea.

Julie: Now, George...Don't you give up.

Not now.

Not ever.

Hank: Come in.

It's open.........

Hi.

Diane: Hank, I don't know what to say...Except to ask you to forgive me.

Hank: Forget it.

You got a bad break with the phone call...

Where was he?

Diane: With his girlfriend in Copenhagen.

They left Paris.

Hank: Fantastic city.

Diane: Well, he can stay there.

I've had it with him and his job.

Hank: You didn't quit, did you?

Diane: I can always find another job.

What worries me is, will I ever find another vosmik?

Hank: Why look?

You ain't lost this one yet.

Dr. Barnes: ...You've clamped the splenic pedicle?

Doc: The pedicle is clamped.

Dr. Barnes: Right.

Now as soon as you remove the spleen, put a double tie on the pedicle and....

Hello...hello...

Doc: Repeat that last....

David?.....

Now what's going on?

Operator: We've got some interference.

It's been bad all week.

Gopher: Doc, hang on.

We'll keep trying.

Operator: Pacific Princess calling Wilshire memorial hospital....

Pacific Princess calling Wilshire memorial hospital....

Dr. Barnes: Hello?!

Adam, hello?!!

Doc: David, I can hear you now.

Dr. Barnes: Oh, good.

I can hear you, too.

Now, Adam, after the double tie on the pedicle, it's very important that you check.....

Hello?

Doc: What was that?

David, you didn't tell me about that before.

Check the what?

David?.....

What the hell's going on?

Operator: Must be a solar flare, doc.

I can't even reach L.A.

Gopher: Doc, what about...What about San Diego?

A hospital, a clinic, something.

Doc: Uhh...

St. Paul's.

Try St. Paul's....

Check what?

Check what?!!

Danny: Come in......

Oh, hi.

Anne: Oh, I'm sorry.

I...

I didn't realize...

Danny: No wait, it's all right.

I was...Expecting someone to drop in.

Anne: I'll only be a minute....

I got to thinking after you left....

I guess I've gotten so used to hearing only one side of every story...

That I forgot there was another side....

I wanted you to know......That your ex-wife isn't half the woman that you are a man...

Danny: Thank you.

Anne: Well, that's all I wanted to say......

That someone you're waiting for...

I hope she shows up...For her sake.

Danny: Anne........

She's already here.

Gopher: Doc...still no luck.

But we'll keep trying.

Doc: Never mind, gopher.

It doesn't matter now.

Doc: She's okay.

I checked the intestine.

There are no perforations.

You may have to go easy on the jogging for awhile.....But she's okay.

George: I did a bad thing, Adam....I lost hope.

Glory's gonna be cross with me when she finds out.

Doc: Well...we just won't tell her....

Oh, yeah...Would you mind signing this?

George: What is it?

Doc: It's a consent form.

It allows me to operate on your wife.

Gopher: Doc, I've been tryin' to reach you.

We got Dr. Barnes back.

Doc: Good.

Tell him I need an ambulance, a hospital bed....And...A dozen roses.

Amber: Hi.

Gopher: Hi.

Amber: How's glory doing?

She should be coming down any minute now.

Julie: So, gopher, are you off to beautiful downtown Burbank?

Gopher: Hm-hm.

Sacramento.

Amber says I'll love it.

Amber: Yeah.

Wait till you meet my folks.

Gopher: Meet your folks?

Amber: You know daddy always said i'd marry a man in uniform.

Gopher: Amber...

Actually, you know there's something I forgot to tell you.

There's...there's a rule...It's a company rule...

We're not allowed to get married....

Hey, I know it's rough, but......

Gloria: Isaac, do I really need this?

Isaac: Don't knock it, lady.

This is our best gin.

Julie: Goodbye, glory.

Gopher: Bye bye, glory.

Gloria: Bye bye.

All: Bye bye, glory.

Gloria: Doc....where are you...Where are you carting me off to?

Doc: Wilshire memorial hospital.

It's one of the best in los Angeles.

All the modern conveniences.

Gloria: Oh?

Has it got a gymnasium?

Doc: Get her out of here.

George: See you in Baltimore, kid.

Danny: You know, I was just thinking....

If...we continue this relationship and...It ripens into a romance...

And the romance becomes an engagement and the engagement merges into a

marriage...you have to promise me one thing.

Anne: What?

Danny: If the marriage blossoms into a divorce, you have to represent me.

Diane: Goodbye.

Captain: Goodbye.

Diane: Once again I apologize.

It was all my fault.

Captain: Well, you were in a difficult position.

I understand.

Diane: You really are captain of the year.

Thank you.

Captain: And you, Mr. Vosmik.

I understand what you were doing.

It was truly gallant.

Hank: You're right, skip...

What does gallant mean?

Captain: It means you can have your job back if you want it.

Hank: Ah, thanks, skip, but the sea ain't no life for a married man.

Julie: Really?...you mean you and miss De marzo?

Hank: Yeah, we got a lot in common....

For one thing, we're both unemployed.

All: Goodbye......