Original subtitles

- [indistinct chatter] - [shutter clicking]

I'm his trainer, not his doctor.

You found him at what time?

An hour ago, ten o'clock.

I come down to check his times.

And you last saw him alive when?

6:30 yesterday morning.

[indistinct chatter over radio]

And you said he was a master swimmer?

Mr. Clifford was good.

In his age class, maybe third, fourth best.

Edward Clifford was world-class.

- What did he swim? - 100 freestyle, 100 back.

Oh, yeah, I know those lanes.

- You're a swimmer. - Mm-hmm.

I got something you'd really appreciate.

He's been hitting 1:10s consistently in the free.

[Bayliss] How old did you say he was?

[trainer] 71.

Did you notify his family?

He has no family.

Edward Clifford was married to the water.

Hey! I'm ready to go fishing.

Yeah. All right, check the top of this guy's head for a blowhole.

I think our floater here was part dolphin.

[theme music plays]

[indistinct chatter over radio]

Oh, come on, come on, come on. Come on, with your left!

Relax inside [indistinct] sheer hot.

Come on! Come on! Brodie!

That's right. Keep your hands up.

Come on, come on, come on! Jab, jab!

Keep it up. Keep your hands up.

Know how to jab! Know how to--

Oh, come on, come on! Come on, come on!

You gotta stay with it. You gotta stay with it.

Exercise, Kellerman,

is for someone with a bad self-image.

It's all eye-hand coordination.

Well, that's easy for you to say.

Look at my hands. Look at my eyes.

Okay. Now work with me.

Now, the jab. It's from your shoulder, right?

You shoot it out, all right?

Now, it's all about getting a rhythm going.

And when you punch, twist your hand just before impact.

The twist gives you more torque.

- Torque? - Yeah, more power.

- All right. - Come on.

Even John "The Marauder" Munch knows this.

Mike, you have a peculiar way

of backhanding someone a compliment.

Or is it just me, or was that not a compliment?

I truly respect you.

Hey, Brodie. Brodie!

They need you up in Mount Washington.

- Here's the address. - All right.

No, no, no. Come on.

If you don't learn now, you won't ever.

- She-- - What's he not gonna learn?

Kellerman here has taken on young Brodie as his protégé.

In a couple of weeks, he'll be in the ring with Tyson.

I'm teaching "The Bruiser" here the subtle art of throwing a simple punch.

Now, under my tutelage, even the sarge could learn in a second.

- Even the sarge? - You're on a roll, Kellerman.

You're saying I don't know how to throw a punch?

No, I'm just saying I could show you how to throw it better.

- Hit this? - Yeah.

Right, but sarge,

you're just throwing it with your arm.

Right?

You gotta throw your hip into it.

It's got to come from the legs, the power.

You hit the bag, it goes "bip."

When I hit the bag, "Boom! Boom!"

You hear the difference? "Bip."

"Boom!"

Give me a week and I'll have you hitting like a champ.

[loud thumping]

Not a "bip" in the bunch.

Edward Clifford.

Male. Born 7/7/24.

He's a divorce attorney.

An extremely wealthy divorce attorney.

He involved himself in big nasty divorces

of the seven-figure variety.

Which he managed to squeeze in

between international swimming competitions.

Notorious for dropping his Speedos

for his soon-to-be-ex-wife clients.

Look at that body.

He has the muscle tone of a man half his age.

[Bayliss] Hmm.

I estimate that Mr. Clifford

was dead in the water a day, day and a half.

[Bayliss] Hmm.

What's this contusion here?

After a certain age, contusions come easy.

I'll lean against a wall and I'll turn black-and-blue.

But you said that this man was in great shape.

Are you gonna run a toxicology?

Is that what you recommend, doctor?

- Imagine Scheiner in a swimsuit. - Hmm.

I heard that.

Aw, you'll always be

a beautiful swimmer to me, Dr. Scheiner.

[tense instrumental music plays]

Because I do my bit for the planet

by living close to the office,

who does everyone call when they need something?

Me!

Last week, it was my typewriter, this week, my VCR.

- No one heard of a requisition? - [Howard] Oh!

Why didn't I think of that? A requisition.

I could have filled out the form during lunch

and dropped it in the departmental mail,

and then received a request-received notice, what?

Next month, and sometime about July, maybe it would show up?

You know, if you got Brodie to do maintenance on his equipment,

then you wouldn't have to be ransacking my cupboard.

Cambridge Works.

That's high-end on your salary, huh?

Well it's got a lot of bells and whistles.

But it's got some miles on it. I got a deal.

From Kellerman.

Oh, yeah, I bet he's from dough.

If he is, he ain't saying, which means he probably is.

- Where does this go? - In the box.

In the box.

I should rent this to the Department.

Just sign it.

You did the deed. Just sign it.

[laughs] I know what you're trying to do to me.

Just sign it, all right?

I've got a reputation, okay, see?

You know what it is? You don't know what it is.

I've got-- don't-- don't let me go there.

You see this?

See how my knuckles are straight across here?

You know how much hitting power I've got?

I mean, I've got torque. I got mounds of torque.

I got some of this too.

[Brodie grunts]

[Brodie] You did the deed, now you've gotta pay the price.

Just sign the paper. You'll feel--

- Hey, Brodie, playing detective again? - Hey.

Which mass murderer is it this time?

Did you get him to confess?

I got him to sign on the dotted line.

Hate to disappoint you, but there is no dotted line.

I know. He still signed.

Good work.

See what you're doing to me?

I could lose my job over this.

Hey, Mike.

Nice lunch today, guys?

Um, did we have lunch?

Did we? I don't remember.

Neither of you recall a chicken burrito?

- What? - Yeah.

Inside a Tupperware container in a blue plastic bag.

Which you left in the refrigerator?

Right. Cough it up.

- [laughing] - What?

You-- you've been victimized by the lunch bandit.

[laughs and imitates Pembleton] "The lunch bandit"?

Yeah, yeah. This started happening, what?

- Two years ago? - Yeah, it's still an open case.

Yeah, I've always suspected Lewis,

because he's always got things in his mouth.

[Judy] Bayliss, you have a visitor.

- Okay. - Excuse me. Excuse me.

So this is some kind of an initiation, huh?

- Uh-uh. - Right? Screw the new guy?

I'm the low man on the totem pole.

The lunch bandit has purloined from everyone,

from the lieutenant down to maintenance people.

It's nothing personal.

He's nailed me three times this week.

[Pembleton] It's nothing personal.

[man] [indistinct]

This guy's nosing around my things.

Yeah, can I help you with something?

Yes, I'm Richard Laumer.

A man was found dead,

floating in his swimming pool this morning.

One Edward Clifford.

Yeah. How'd you know about that?

I haven't even turned in my report yet.

I have reason to believe he was my father.

Well, I was told he didn't have a family.

Which doesn't mean he couldn't be a father.

- It doesn't, no. - Or that he wasn't murdered.

What makes you think he was murdered?

I told him I would kill him.

Sit down.

You told him you were going to kill him?

But I didn't kill him. But I didn't kill him.

I didn't kill him.

How do you know Edward Clifford was murdered?

We don't even have a confirmation.

He could've died from a simple heart attack.

The autopsy will tell you different.

In what way different?

To have a heart attack, you have to have a heart.

I believe Edward Clifford was my biological father.

And now that he's dead, I need to know the truth.

I need a DNA fingerprint on Edward Clifford.

It's to be matched, or not,

with the contents of this envelope.

My own.

There's a lab, Baltimore RH Typing,

98% accuracy, results in three days.

But if you have the clout to push the pedal to the metal, you can get it in 24 hours.

We can't do this.

See, this doesn't fall within the scope of our investigation.

It will, when you get the autopsy results.

And I've also included a home video.

Might bring you a laugh.

It's from my real father, the man who raised me.

He died almost a year to the day.

Where exactly is it that you work?

You're a cartographer.

I'd been fascinated with maps since I was a kid.

Well, why is there just a phone number on this card, hmm?

I'm out in the field, here, overseas,

95% of the time.

- Doing my surveys. - Where's home?

Any place that has clean sheets,

a decent hamburger and a waitress with nice gams.

So if it's determined that

this Edward Clifford was murdered--

Odds are it will.

So who would want to kill him?

The man who raised me as his son.

My legal father.

The man that you say died a year ago.

Almost to the day.

Watch the tape.

I have to get back to work. I'm still on the clock.

So this waitress with the nice, um...

- Gams. - [Pembleton] Gams.

Where will she be serving you this burger tonight?

Could be a hundred places.

This is a great town for leg.

Decent burger's another story.

I'll find you. I don't need a map for that, do I?

- Hey, Megan. - Hey, Kellerman.

- What's in the bag? - What is this, a test?

It's a lemon yogurt and an orange.

Lunch?

Um, Mike, you want it, you can have it.

No. Are you gonna put that in the fridge in the coffee room?

No, I'm gonna put it in my desk.

Not the fridge?

[scoffs] Nah, not a chance.

Why?

You don't know, do you?

Yeah, about the lunch bandit?

Ah, so you do know.

How come no one's done anything about this?

In order for us to do anything about it,

the thief has to be caught, and we've tried, but no luck.

You've done a surveillance of the fridge?

- Yup. - Interviewed possible suspects?

- Yep. - And nothing?

Nothing.

Well, I'm gonna find this guy.

And when I do, I'm gonna break his hands!

You know something, Mike?

I believe you, I see the fire in your eyes.

Good luck.

But, just a thought.

What makes you think that the lunch bandit's a guy?

See, look at the picture I get on Detective Munch's machine.

It's like taking off blinders.

Here, pop that one in.

"Last will and testament of Morris Laumer."

My name is Morris Laumer.

I leave this testament to my son Richard.

[clears throat]

I have cause to be effected

upon my death, the creation of a trust.

Which I have located off-shore in a sovereign nation,

which shall remain unnamed.

Uh, this trust will remain frozen

for a period of one year, after which all assets

will become the property of a sole beneficiary.

Edward J. Clifford...

[shutter clicks]

...of Mount Washington,

city of Baltimore, State of Maryland.

In the event that Mr. Clifford shall predecease

the one-year anniversary of my death,

then all assets will be distributed

in its entirety to a second beneficiary.

My son Richard.

Give me the tape.

[tense instrumental music plays]

Judy!

Call the ME Lab. Tell them we need Scheiner.

If they have to roust him out of his home,

tell him Bayliss and I are bringing coffee and some questions.

There's no answer on Laumer's number.

Yeah, he finally found his burger.

Oh, and, Judy, check on a Morris Laumer.

L-A-U-M-E-R. Deceased within the last year.

Yeah, now we are looking for a Richard Laumer. This is the number he gave us.

Check the criss-cross directory with the phone company.

See if you can find an address and do not lose that.

Okay.

A chicken burrito from Nacho Mama's?

Yeah. And yesterday, crab cakes from Tame Street.

And the day before yesterday, pasta from Margaret's.

You eat very well, Kellerman.

- Almost too well. - [Judy] Gee.

I'm suspicious of any detective who eats so well.

I find it impossible to believe that in a squad room

full of the very best detectives in the city,

nobody's nailed this guy.

I put you in charge.

You find out whoever the culprit is,

and I'll hold a public execution in front of Headquarters.

I'm gonna rip his heart out.

Start thinking like the bandit.

- [woman chuckling] - [Giardello] Captain.

Hello.

Shut the door, Al.

I'm trying to locate this person.

Maybe the Captain misdirected you.

The last time I looked, this was a homicide unit,

not Missing Persons.

I haven't had my happy pill today, Al.

So go slow.

National Security Agency.

Felicity Fenwick.

Is this some kind of joke, Gaffney?

Miss Fenwick's no joke.

Uh-huh.

- You are for real. - I need to find this man.

We have Edward Clifford dead this morning,

we have a tape from Morris Laumer saying that

he's giving all his money to this Edward Clifford.

But if Clifford dies within a year,

the money goes to Richard Laumer.

Who says that both men are his father.

Where is Scheiner?

He said he was gonna be here ten minutes ago.

He's on his way. That's all I know.

[Bayliss] How long can that drive take?

It's not the drive.

It's for him to get from his bed to the car.

Takes the man 20 minutes just to pull his pants on.

Okay.

Huh? Okay, this is our guy.

Alyssa, I need a DNA on Edward Clifford

to see if it matches up with what is in this envelope.

- Okey-dokey. - Okay.

So Richard Laumer shows us a video tape,

which shows that he had every motive

in the world to kill this Clifford character.

Too obvious?

Well, why would he help us connect the dots?

Whatever happened to bankers' hours?

Thanks.

[sirens wailing in distance]

[whistles]

Detective Munch...

- [knocks on door] - ...it's Brodie.

[Munch] How did you know it's me here?

Oh, I have

each and every one of you detectives' shoes catalogued.

[Munch] I'm busy, all right?

Yeah, I know.

You know you got a bad terminal on the back of your VCR.

You're the expert. Do something with it.

[sighs] Yeah, sure, I can fix it.

I can fix it, but there's something else.

[Munch] Repair the whole shebang,

and we'll discuss the cost later, okay?

It's the serial number plate

on the inside back panel of your machine.

Brodie, this can wait.

I need peace and quiet

to facilitate this particular bodily function.

All the numbers are scratched out, um...

I don't know, your VCR could be hot.

And there's a little sticker on the bottom

that says it's "prop--

Arson-- property of Arson."

[Munch] You could've waited to give me this information.

[sighing heavily] Uh, Brodie?

Are you there?

Brodie, do me a-- do me a favor?

Brodie!

[Bayliss] He's loaded with cancer?

Prostate.

Typical progression to the bone, ribs, hips, pelvis.

Uh, is this what killed him?

No, a pulmonary embolism.

Hmm. A pulmonary embolism. A heart attack?

So you're learning. I'm amazed!

Weren't we thinking heart attack from the time

we pulled him from the pool?

By all appearances, yeah.

Except for the contusions on his hips.

We found needle marks.

Did you run a toxicology?

Did I say I would?

Clear presence of steroids.

He was shooting steroids?

Well, that's how he was swimming those 1:10 frees.

Did his steroid injections cause the heart attack?

They would make his prostate cancer run wild,

which in turn, could cause a heart attack.

He knows he has cancer,

and he's shooting steroids anyway.

- That suicidal? - If he knows he has the cancer.

- [Pembleton] If he doesn't? - [Bayliss] Bad karma.

Well, hang on. Wait-- wait a minute.

The needle marks are on his shoulders and his lower spine.

I can understand how he can shoot himself in the hip.

But given his age and body build,

he doesn't have the flexibility to reach

the shoulders and the lower spine.

Yeah, so someone else was shooting him up.

And if this someone knows he has cancer--

Then we have a hell of a cute murder.

Gentlemen, a homicide problem.

Kay, are you sure Kellerman's coming back here tonight?

He said he was gonna run down a lead on an old case.

Some witness.

But he's gotta check back into the squad room, right?

[Howard] He said he'd be back.

[sighs] What do you make of this big confab in the box?

[Howard] Gee says it's an internal matter.

- Did he say what? - No.

Well, he should. You're a sergeant.

You're in a position of responsibility.

This is an issue of respect.

Did you notice how hostile Gaffney was to me this morning?

I say hello, he passes me by like I'm not here.

Do you think that was intentional?

Can you let me concentrate here for a second, Munch?

I don't know why I bought that damn VCR!

I never should've bought that damn VCR.

Call the Commissioner? What is it-- is it-- it's a threat?

Well, I don't know, ho ahead. Go ahead. [chuckles nervously]

Tim.

Hey, Gee, we're right in the middle of an autopsy,

Gee, and they yank us down here.

I'm asking you to cooperate with Miss Fenwick, that's all.

[Bayliss] Cooperate?

Cooperate?

[scoffs] We're investigating a possible homicide here.

Please, Tim, sit down.

Tim.

You know something?

I am Detective Bayliss to you,

Mrs. whatever your name is.

Bayliss, where is Richard Laumer?

I don't know.

[Gaffney] Did he say where he might go?

Yeah, yeah, he said that he was gonna go

get a hamburger that had some legs on it.

Do not be a smart-ass!

That's what he said!

So what do you take him to mean by this?

Well, I think that he means that he had

a kind of a healthy attitude about life.

Maybe he was talking in code to us.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Maybe he's talking in secret stuff.

Richard Laumer has nothing to do with your investigation.

[Pembleton] Then why did he walk in here?

- He made a mistake. - How?

He meant to turn north but he turned south?

He's a map-maker.

He told you this?

[Pembleton] He isn't?

Yes, he is.

He wasn't supposed to tell us.

Hmm? Come on, Gee.

What is this?

We have been ordered to assist Miss Fenwick

in finding Richard Laumer.

That's all you're gonna say?

Yes.

I'm here because Richard Laumer is my friend.

That makes him a little bit more than a map-maker, doesn't it?

And he is in no way connected to the death of Edward Clifford.

Oh, yeah. In what way isn't he?

She's from the National Security Agency.

You have to take her word for it.

[Bayliss] Right, right.

Then why are we wasting our time?

[feigns yawning]

Where the hell do you think you're going?

Home. To sleep.

Since when do we make deals, Gee?

I mean, I-- I mean, who is she to come down here

onto our turf and to make demands?

Al, this is insubordination.

God bless, huh?

Richard Laumer is my friend.

I have to know he's okay.

You do or your honchos down at Fort Meade have to?

Don't touch that door. That's my door.

Now you've pissed me off.

You and I, we're never gonna be friends.

Richard Laumer is a dependable person.

For him to get up and leave in the middle of work,

that's not like him.

- Yeah, right. - Listen for a second.

If you and he are such good friends,

why didn't he tell you where he was going?

That's the least a friend could do, right?

Tell you where he's going.

I'm aware of the tape he gave you.

Did you find the tape interesting?

And he left a phone number?

Yeah, but the phone number doesn't lead to Richard Laumer.

That's why you're standing in here with me right now.

Hmm? You give me what I need, and I give you Richard Laumer.

For once, I actually agree with my partner.

We make no trades.

You'll get all the information you need

to clear up your investigation.

And that's as far as your investigation will go,

Detective Pembleton.

Excuse me, did I hear a threat just now?

[scoffs] What I said and what you think I might have said

is our individual perceptions.

I have no idea what you think you might have heard.

Are you implying something by shutting the door?

I don't like to be threatened.

I'd know better than to threaten you.

Or even hint at it.

So what could happen to me if I don't play ball with you?

Why wouldn't you want to?

So you are threatening me?

What would be the consequences to me?

Is there a menu that you select from?

I work for an information-gathering organization.

It's not the information,

it's what you do with the information.

Well, what I am saying is,

in the best interests of everyone involved,

that we foster a respectful cooperation.

Or else what?

Take me in the back alleys and give me a bamboo manicure?

I know Richard will get in touch with you.

Just tell him I want him to be okay.

[Pembleton] Nothing's gonna happen.

- You don't think so? - Not right away.

She needs him. He needs us.

Hey, uh... [chuckles nervously]

...if something does happen to me, uh...

I want you to go right after their asses. [laughs]

Is this before or after I buy the house a second round?

Come on.

[tense instrumental music plays]

We just got off on the wrong foot.

I couldn't sleep last night,

knowing how I'd upset your detectives.

Well, in the heat of the moment, a lot of things get said

that no one really means.

Where were you planning to have lunch?

I didn't have plans.

Well you have to try our crab cakes.

I've never acquired the taste. I'm from Chicago.

- Oh. - Red meat.

[Gaffney] Hmm.

And potatoes.

Nothing like a good steak.

Helps order the short-term memory.

So, how about I take you up to the Polo Grill?

We can have crab cakes and steak.

How gallant of you.

- [Gaffney laughs] - Yes, I will.

- [Giardello] Megan. - Morning, Al.

Megan, you came out of the Naval Academy,

didn't you?

Yeah, class of '83. Why?

You worked intelligence too, didn't you?

Four years.

Did you have any overlap with any of our illustrious intelligence agencies,

like the CIA, NSA?

Peripheral, when I was trying to make an overseas connection

to some local big-time coke dealers.

I want you to make the re-acquaintance with whoever you talked to.

I want to find out everything about this...

Felicity Fenwick.

Distinctive name. Why?

I want to find out who she is answering to...

who's watching the watchers.

Okay, I'll make the calls.

How are you coming along fixing my VCR?

What's it gonna set me back?

Nothing.

What do you mean?

It ain't gonna cost you nothing 'cause I don't got your VCR.

Two guys came in here and took it.

Two guys? What two guys? You gave them my property?

Hey, these two guys were big, all right?

They were Official-looking.

And they said they were confiscating it.

They used the word "confiscating?"

- Uh-huh. - I'm a dead man.

This is great. Thanks, Brodie!

You sold me a hot VCR.

[laughs] What?

There are guys from Internal Affairs now

sniffing around.

Munch, listen to me. That VCR is not hot, okay?

It was lent to Arson from Evidence Control.

And then when the squad got some more equipment,

we had to pass it on.

And I volunteered to take care of it.

So you volunteered it to me for two bills?

Look, it is worth four times that much.

Not if I get jammed for it.

[tense instrumental music plays]

Watching these fish almost convinces me there is a God.

Laumer's gonna be here, huh?

Yeah, the number he left checks out for a public payphone here.

We're being watched.

Wow! We humans, we could never come up

with the colors of these fish.

Like...

like this ray here.

This ray, this ray could be our ancestor.

No, no. I know where I'm from.

I'm not from those things in there.

We're all from the same place, from the sea.

The percentage of salt in our blood

is the same as the oceans'.

Yeah.

God is greater than that we can imagine.

We cannot imagine God, therefore God exists.

- What? - Thomas Aquinas.

Oh, yeah, another one of your hall-of-famer Jesuits.

No, no, he was a Dominican.

The same people who brought us the Inquisition.

That tail right there, that looks familiar to me.

[Richard] They're viviparous.

Most rays are viviparous.

They give birth to live young like mammals.

Some even nurse off the uterine secretions of their mothers.

And when they grow up they become

simple map-makers, huh?

If they're unlucky.

[Megan] Yes, right.

No, no, he knows me.

Yeah, I worked with him eight years ago.

Megan Russert.

Yeah, R-U-S-S-E-R-T. Right.

No, I'm a Homicide detective with the Baltimore City Police Department.

No, no, that's all right.

Oh, no, no, I understand, believe me.

No, I do, you just have to establish my bona fides.

Oh, um, oh, that unit in your agency

doesn't exist under that name anymore?

So Edward Clifford was murdered.

Well, there's no determination yet,

but the ME is very curious about how it's all adding up.

Your friend from the Agency thinks

very highly of your map-making skills.

I have a lot of friends. Which one is this?

Felicity Fenwick.

- She said she's a friend? - Mm-hmm.

I would have a friend with a name like that?

Uh, no, actually, I don't know why

I was transferred over to you, I really don't.

The woman I was talking to was--

Uh, my-- my name is Megan Russert.

Russert. R-U-S-S-E-R-T.

Megan.

Three years ago, a few months after my mother dies,

Edward Clifford contacts me.

He says he has some sensitive information regarding my father.

So I agree to meet with him.

Were you working for the NSA at this time?

Yes.

So I meet with Clifford.

He tells me of his past relationship with my mother.

He tells me he wants me to have a DNA test done.

He says he knows the results already,

but this is for my benefit.

So I turn him down flat.

Out of the blue, this guy calls you up,

you meet him, he says he's your father--

Hey, Morris Laumer is my real father.

I told Clifford, if word of this ever reached my father, I would kill him.

Did you ever tell your father about meeting Clifford?

I never told him of it, no.

Well, of course he knew, otherwise he wouldn't have made the tape.

[Richard] So, if it's determined that

Edward Clifford was murdered, I'm your only suspect.

[Bayliss] Yep.

[Richard] Do you have to take me in now?

[Pembleton] We should, but frankly,

I feel nauseated by this friend of yours from the Agency.

This woman, I'm telling you, is no friend.

I've never heard of her.

See, I wanted my friend to check out a name for me.

Felicity Fenwick.

No, no, I don't know her.

I'm just trying to find out if a person by this name works for your agency.

Ru-- Russert.

R-U-S-S-- Yeah. E-R-T.

[Pembleton] Why aren't your Agency friends

all over you right here now?

If they grabbed me up, they would know I would be an unhappy boy.

Then they would have to babysit my ass 24 hours a day,

seven days a week for the rest of my life.

Or theirs.

They get nervous about cranky employees.

Why nervous? The cold war is over.

- The world's changed. - Oh, yeah, is that right?

What, did a little birdie come up and tell you that?

The war ain't over. It's only half time.

I got one more favor I wanna ask.

We're doing you a favor.

By not hauling your ass in right now.

Check on Edward Clifford's will.

I'd be in your debt.

- [Pembleton scoffs] - Okay.

A minute.

Do these half-time strategies that are going on

have anything at all to do with your map-making?

You know what?

I found the waitress, but not the burger.

You know any place?

[Bayliss scoffs]

Yeah. It's...

it's called The Waterfront.

I'll meet you there later, all right?

You did what?

[whispering] I rigged my lunch.

What?

[quietly] I rigged my lunch.

You can't blow someone up over a sandwich.

It's ribs from Hecky's, totally irresistible.

Gee put me in charge.

He said the thief should be executed.

[scoffs] But why rig it? The ribs alone will do him in.

I'm not gonna hurt this guy.

But he will be wearing a lot of purple dye.

I talked to a couple of guys downstairs in Robbery

and they hooked me up with one of those poppers,

you know, that the banks use

as a surprise for whoever tries to hold them up.

So you know this and I know this.

Right? It's our secret.

- Okay? - [Brodie] Munch!

I tried but I can't get my hands on that VCR of yours.

Shh! Come here!

Go to Evidence Control. You talk to them about it.

They don't have it.

[Munch] Well, who does?

I don't know, I asked around. Nobody knows.

[sighs] If this gets to Internal,

then I've got a secret for them too.

You'd give me up?

On a platter, with an apple stuffed in your mouth.

This stays here with us.

- What? - About my VCR.

What about the VCR?

This conversation never happened, Brodie.

- About the VCR? - [Kellerman] There is no VCR.

Because we never talked about a VCR.

We didn't?

- No. - We're not here.

And even if we were here, we didn't discuss anything.

- I'm not here? - [Kellerman] Right.

- You're not talking to me? - [Kellerman] Right.

Okay.

Are you okay with this?

Yeah, sure.

Reality is just a guess for me.

Most of the time. I think.

So what judge should I bother about Edward Clifford's will?

If I were you, Aandahl. She's always liked you.

There's a lot to like.

- Tim. - Hmm?

Got a guy in here just confessed

to Edward Clifford's murder.

- [Bayliss] What? - Some guy named Buster Simmons.

[suspenseful music plays]

What are you doing here?

I-- I told that woman detective everything I wanna say.

Why don't you give us a recap?

You killed Edward Clifford?

- Yes. - [Pembleton] Why?

I-- I wrote it all down.

We interviewed you yesterday.

Why are you coming forward with this today?

I want you to tell me.

You knew about the steroids?

I s-- I shot him up with ten CCs every other week at the start.

When was this?

When I started, a year ago.

Then-- then he'd swim and his lap times would start to fluctuate.

So he has me increase the dose.

15 CCs every week.

Did you know he had cancer?

Or what the steroids would do to the cancer?

Prostate cancer on steroids

is like putting tomatoes on Miracle-Gro.

You have the bud of a malignancy and you want a blue ribbon at the state fair,

juice yourself up on steroids.

So the case is open and now the case is closed.

You know, I asked Russert

to make a few calls down to DC for me.

And an hour later, Buster Simmons walks in

and wants to make a confession.

A little too convenient, Gee.

[Giardello] Come on, Frank, it's a new age.

The world's becoming a perfect place.

- [Howard] Kellerman. - Hey, sarge.

- You have no conscience. - Really?

It's bad enough you're pilfering department property,

and then to turn around and sell it

to an unsuspecting fellow detective?

- That's lower than low. - Now, look.

Munch is not innocent.

Oh, please, you don't even have to do this.

- You're from money! - I'm from what?

Where the hell did you come up with that?

Everyone knows your family's loaded.

Oh, really?

Well, maybe somebody better clue my dad in.

Because he's down at Majestic Distillery,

working double shifts, packing bottles.

You mean, you don't come from money?

I'd be doing all this if I did?

Well, I mean...

- Hey, sarge. - Hey, Munch.

The Arson unit called.

They wanted to thank you for returning their VCR.

No problem.

Hey, uh, you know,

Kellerman's lunch is still in here.

Where is he?

Hey, Brodie, don't you work with us here in Homicide?

I don't?

How is it that you came to be repairing

the Arson Unit's VCR?

- A VCR? - Yeah, the one you were fixing yesterday?

If this conversation is about a VCR,

we ain't having it.

We're not?

And if we're not having this conversation,

there's no VCR.

Right.

And somehow, you're still out $200 to Kellerman on it.

[Munch] You did good, Brodie.

I did? About what?

No, it's okay now. You did good.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Because what you're not talking about is a VCR

which doesn't exist.

So you're not here

having this conversation with me, right?

We're not having a conversation about a VCR, right?

- You want to hear something frightening, Brodie? - Yeah.

You and I are actually starting to understand each other.

If Kellerman doesn't want his lunch, I'm gonna have it.

- Brodie, No! - [ink tag booms and splashes]

[soft rock music plays]

[Bayliss] Would you like some Blanc?

We have some nice Blanc.

So this? This is it?

This is what you've recommended?

- Hey, hey, hey! - Yeah! Yeah!

I own part of the joint myself.

How are you doing?

I must be in the right place, here.

Excellent. Frank, why don't you lock that up, all right?

- How you doing? - [Bayliss] Good to see you.

Could I have a bourbon, please?

[Bayliss] Mmm, bourbon.

I thought you'd want a gin martini.

Isn't that what you DC-Langley-Fort Meade guys

always have to drink, huh?

My father taught me never to drink any liquor

that you can see through.

- [Bayliss] Oh. - So...

Hmm. Which father's that?

DNA results. Very quick.

I guess you guys do have clout.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got clout.

But we ain't got no bourbon.

You got plenty of bourbon.

Uh, the Maker's Mark. I'll take one of those.

No, I don't see any bourbon.

Who's Buster Simmons?

Who?

[detectives laugh]

You NSA boys,

you should just make it look more real.

Maybe waited a week.

Maybe had someone phone in a tip on old Buster.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You don't know?

No.

You should have gotten the DNA yourselves.

Why did you come to us? So you have your resources.

Right? You could have just, you know,

slipped under the door,

gotten the blood sample from Edward Clifford's body

and then just... [makes whooshing noise]

...slipped back off into the night.

This was personal.

Oh, for personal matters,

you operate within the conventions of the law?

- I'm a citizen. - No, no, no.

No, you're a spy. You're a ghost.

You're a six o'clock man.

I draw maps.

[Pembleton] You wanted Edward Clifford dead.

I draw maps.

For the future.

I project five, ten, 20 years

of how the world will be configured.

All the countries, all the borders,

- how they'll shift, based upon-- - Let me let you in on something.

Your buddy, Buster Simmons, he took the hit for you.

Three to five for negligent homicide,

so when you collect on this trust fund,

make sure you cut old Buster in, okay?

Based upon economic and political conditions.

The break-up of the Soviet Union.

I drew that map 15 years ago. And I was on the money.

- Tim, let me have a... - Another Maker's Mark, Frank?

- [Pembleton] Uh, yeah. - Yeah.

- Yeah, I like that. - Here you go.

[Richard] I thought you didn't have any bourbon.

You came to us because you had a moment of guilt.

You were plagued with guilt.

[Bayliss] Because you hired Buster to kill Clifford.

But the coward that you really are, you wimped out.

Mm-hmm. You were in over your head.

You didn't know what to do.

You played games, danced us all over the floor.

And all the while, you knew that we could never touch you.

You were protected.

Yeah, 'cause God knows,

your maps are vital

to the national security of this country.

I don't know any Buster Simmons.

But you could draw a map of him, couldn't you?

Here we go.

Edward Clifford is taking steroids.

Edward Clifford knows that he has cancer.

But Edward Clifford doesn't know what his steroids are going to do to his cancer.

But you and Buster know, don't you?

I come to you with a personal matter that I need resolved.

Did you kill Edward Clifford for revenge...

or for the trust fund that Morris Laumer set up?

Which is it?

Whatever you have

that has any liquor in it, I'll take it.

Morris Laumer knew Edward Clifford,

that's why he left the tape for you.

I never told him of my meeting with Clifford,

out of respect for my mother.

Hmm.

See, Clifford went and saw Morris,

and spilled the beans.

Tells about his affair with your mother.

I need a drink.

So Morris, the good old guy that he is...

May I please have a drink?

...what does he do?

He makes out his last will and testament,

and he has you avenge the, uh, the what?

The Jealous hatred that he feels for Edward Clifford

and destroy the bastard son all at the same time!

[Pembleton] So what's it gonna be?

A simple murder, or patricide?

Gotta go.

You...

went to a lot of trouble to get that information, huh?

I know everything I need to.

You knew that before you killed Edward Clifford.

Gentlemen...

I got your drinks.

You could never buy me a drink, even if drinks were free.

It's a beautiful thing, isn't it?

Getting away with murder?

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Don't you want to know if you killed your real father?

I got a trust fund coming from somewhere.

I'm a rich man.

- Think we should open this? - I don't know.

No.

Not curious?

The guy just walked on murder charges.

And...

now I'm supposed to care about him?

[theme music plays]