Original subtitles

[water spray hisses]

What have we got, Frank?

One dead woman, identity unknown.

Two fires in two days. Both warehouses.

Both containing burnt corpses.

- Any witnesses? - Too many.

Everybody saw something. Nobody saw anything.

Watch your step.

Body's right over here. She's not very pretty.

I haven't seen a pretty one yet.

[Russert] Her arms.

She was probably killed before the fire was set.

Maybe in the warehouse, maybe someplace else, and then brought here.

- We don't know that. - I'm making an educated guess.

Based on what, Mike?

[Kellerman] The position of her arms.

Her muscles contracted from the heat.

If you're alive, you go to sleep,

and you get caught by a fire, you instinctively turn away,

curl up, protect yourself.

Let's just wait to see what the ME has to say.

The fire started here.

There's flammable liquid, probably gasoline.

- He used trailers. - What the hell are trailers?

Basically a fuse.

Looks like he used several rolls of toilet paper.

Same MO as the first fire.

Looks like a saint.

This saint burned in the fires of hell.

[theme music playing]

[music fades]

[Dr. Dyer] You should get that back looked at.

My brother lost his cartilage playing for the Colts.

Can't move without a walker now.

Oh, thanks for the encouragement.

What's the corpse got to say?

Well, there's a definite indentation to the skull.

Cylindrical in shape. Size of a quarter.

Also one on the forearm, two on the shoulder.

As if she were defending herself?

[Dr. Dyer] Consistent with that.

- How old is she? - [Dr. Dyer] Young.

- How young? - 15, 16.

- [Bayliss] You sure? - I'm sure. Why?

The victim of the first fire was about the same age.

This blow to the skull, could this have killed her?

[Dr. Dyer] Could it have? Yeah.

- Did it? - [Dr. Dyer] I don't know.

She's cooked like a hot dog from the inside out.

There's just not enough to pinpoint time, and cause.

- Well, how about a hunch? - Unofficial?

She was hit with a hammer.

[Bayliss sighs heavily]

What do you got there, Kay? War and Peace?

Crime and Punishment?

"How Men Love Women Who Love Peter Pan"?

What I got, Munch, is the textbook

that contains the answers to the questions

that will be asked on the sergeant's exam, huh?

Which, in case you've forgotten, is the day after tomorrow.

- You're studying? - [Howard chuckles]

You can call me compulsive, but yes, I'm studying.

The odds are stacking up against you there, Munch.

CW is Howard is going to whoop your butt,

then you're gonna owe me,

and everybody else in the squad room

a whole lot of glue. [laughs]

Like Napoleon before me,

I vow that I will ace the sergeant's exam.

Hey, Tim, what's up?

Oh, it's not up, it's out. It's my back.

You know, I read about this experiment

about people with back pains,

and they split the patients into three groups.

One went to doctors,

another group went to chiropractors,

and another did nothing.

And you know who did the best, statistically speaking?

- Nothing worked the best. - What do you mean, "nothing?"

Nothing, just doing nothing, going about your normal life.

Oh, that's ridiculous, Munch,

because I'm going about my normal life,

and it's killing me.

That's what the report says.

The report lies.

But why? Who's behind this big lie, Tim?

Doctors have a lobby, chiropractors have a lobby.

Who lobbies for nothing?

Well, you do, Munch.

Every day, in every way, you just lobby for nothing.

[Lewis and Howard laugh]

- Oh, Kay. - What?

Are you really going to memorize all that stuff?

I'm trying.

[Munch sighs]

Let Zithead know that I'm looking for him.

Some time this year would be good.

Right, right. Mike Kellerman.

Uh-huh. Right.

Zithead, huh?

Do you believe in paying off informants?

- [Bayliss] No, absolutely not. - You have an informant?

I know a couple of people who know things.

And for this information, they expect to be paid.

I can't condone it, man.

I'm not asking you to condone. I'm asking for a loan.

There's someone going around town

burning teenagers to death in warehouses?

It would appear so, sir.

Kellerman, you still believe the guy to be a professional?

Professional arsonists don't kill, not on purpose.

So, just who are we looking for, Kellerman?

Maybe someone obsessed with fire.

The image of fire, the idea of fire.

Someone maybe with firefighting in his background.

- A father, an uncle. - [Pembleton] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hang on, hang on.

Let's just stick to the facts, here.

Someone killed Mark Landry. Someone killed this girl.

But Landry was killed by a fire.

And this girl was killed first, and then dumped in the fire.

Why this difference?

There is a possibility the two fires are unrelated.

So, what?

The way in which they were set is a coincidence?

- Yes. - Yeah, Bayliss.

Well, I tend not to believe in coincidences.

[Bayliss] Okay, great. Thank you.

Okay. That was the ME's lab.

They matched the teeth from the body in the second warehouse

to a missing person's report.

And it is a Bonnie Nash, 313 Putnam Drive.

- Go talk to the family. - Okay.

- Let's go. - That's okay, Kellerman.

- You don't have to come. - Excuse me?

We can handle this.

[dramatic music playing]

How many times you figure we've done this, Frank?

- What? Deliver the bad news? - Yeah. Yeah.

How many times have we gone to someone's house

and said, "Excuse me, we're sorry,

but your mother is dead.

Your daughter is dead. Your uncle is dead."

I don't know.

We've been working together for three years, right?

Mm-hmm.

So, you figure, twice a month,

that's 72 times, right?

Yeah, but I've been in the unit for seven years,

so for me, it's more like, um,

a hundred, and um...

68 times.

168 times you had to knock on somebody's door,

and tell them that a loved one is dead.

- Yeah. - [scoffs]

You know, it just-- it didn't used to be like that.

You ever see I Love Lucy on Nickelodeon?

No.

How about The Dick Van Dyke Show?

No.

People weren't so violent back then.

There wasn't so much killing.

The shows are a reflection of the times, Frank.

Mm-hmm.

This is what, the '50s you're talking about?

Yeah, you know, '50s, early '60s.

[Pembleton] Did any of these shows feature guys

in white sheets running around burning crosses

and lynching people on their front lawns?

[Bayliss] Um, no, not that I recall.

[Pembleton] Mm-hmm.

[Pembleton sighs heavily]

- It's your turn. - Nice try.

- No, no, no, no. - Two days ago, the Uptons.

Who had to tell them

that their eight-year-old son had been found in a dumpster

with his hands and feet cut off, huh?

That was me, Frank.

It's your turn.

[somber music playing]

[doorbell ringing]

[rock music playing]

[singing song lyrics]

- Hey! - Hey, yourself.

What are you doing here?

Looking for Zithead. You seen him tonight?

No.

Two brews.

You know, none of this makes any sense.

What?

You. This. Why you waitress here.

You work all day at the lab.

That's my job.

When I clock out, I leave it behind.

This is fun, Mike.

Here, I serve a few drinks,

and every once in a while

they let me get up on that stage, and sing.

Annie, this is only something

an ex-husband would tell an ex-wife,

but you can't sing.

Neither can you, and that never stopped you.

What are you talking about?

- You remember that night up at the Cat's Eye? - Yeah.

You got up on stage and belted your own X-rated version of "My Way."

Yes, but I was brilliant.

They have no sense of humor at the Cat's Eye.

I may make a fool of myself, but at least I still take risks.

What are you talking about? I take risks.

- I go into burning buildings. - Yeah, after the fire is out.

Thanks.

I need you criticizing me.

I got two warehouses burned to the ground,

and no clue who torched them.

I got two very dead bodies, and no clue who killed them.

I got Detective Frank Pembleton making my life miserable.

These Homicide guys are smart. Really smart.

- Hey, so are you. - Yeah?

- Yeah. - Then how come you left me?

- What? - How come you left me?

Your cigarette smoking drove me crazy.

- I'm trying to quit. - Again?

You know, I got a great idea.

Why don't you let me take you out for breakfast?

We'll go to Scunny's Place,

have some taquitos, with extra hot sauce?

- I'd love to. - Yeah?

- But I can't. - Come on, take a risk.

- I'm waiting for Ivan. - Oh.

Ivan.

[Anne] Why don't you order another beer?

- It's on me. - Okay.

[audience cheering]

[Anne laughs]

How do you eat that crap for breakfast?

Look at you, you're sweating.

Of course I'm sweating, Zithead.

I'm eating chili peppers. This stuff is hot.

You shouldn't sweat while you're eating.

That's not healthy.

Are we going to talk about my health,

or are we gonna talk about what you know about these fires?

I don't know anything.

You don't know anything?

If they were profit jobs, then I'd know something.

You've got a high opinion of yourself, don't you, Zithead?

Two kids died in those fires.

That was unprofessional. That's not right.

Look, Zithead, you said you had something for me.

I do.

It's not about the fires, per se.

It's about a buddy of mine who told me a story.

It's a story about a guy

who walks into my buddy's gas station,

buys five gallons of gasoline.

- Uh-huh. - Regular.

Chapter Two is, my friend goes to take a leak,

notices that someone has gone

and stole all six rolls of his toilet paper.

You got a description on this guy?

Male, white, mid-30s.

Glasses. Uh, wearing a tie and coat.

You know, nothing fancy. Strictly Sears.

Anything else?

Uh...

He told my buddy, you know, in passing,

that he was a chemist.

A chemist.

Shared an interest in arson folklore.

Why are you so good to me, Zithead?

Because you pay me.

- [seagulls squawking] - [ship horn honking]

[Kellerman] Hey, good morning.

Good morning.

What have you been up to?

I've been talking to Bonnie Nash's

friends and associates.

What about you?

- Just getting some information. - What kind of information?

Confirmation, actually. Fire-related.

So, how'd it go notifying Bonnie Nash's parents?

I'm not sure they were convinced her death was a bad thing.

Confirmation of what, exactly?

- [Giardello] Good morning, gentlemen. - Good morning.

You have good news for me this morning, I hope.

Bonnie Nash came down to Fell's Point

around six on Saturday.

Any particular reason she chose Fell's Point?

She wanted to get her nipple pierced.

Any connection to Mark Landry?

Well, they lived in different neighborhoods, they went to different schools.

I interviewed her teachers, classmates,

relatives, boyfriends, counselors, coaches.

Bonnie was a wild girl, not Landry's type.

Well, keep looking.

There's got to be a hook in there somewhere.

Unless our guy just likes killing teenagers.

I got a good lead that tells me our suspect's a white male,

wearing glasses, and a cheap suit.

- What kind of lead? - An informant.

A 100% reliable informant

who also tells me our guy is some kind of chemist.

Chemist?

Well, see where it leads you.

Where's Bayliss?

He went down to the emergency room

at Johns Hopkins, with his back.

Well, can you two work together?

Assemble the pieces of our puzzle?

Of course you can.

Frank, try and appeal for help on TV.

Someone must have seen something.

There's always someone who's seen something.

[director] All right, folks, we're back from commercial

in five, four, three, two...

A series of arson fires has ravaged

two downtown warehouses in the past two days.

So far, the fires have also claimed

the lives of two Baltimore youths.

With us now is Detective Frank Pembleton,

who is in charge of the investigation.

Detective Pembleton, can you tell us anything

about the case?

Yes.

Both warehouses were downtown.

Both victims were teenagers,

and we don't want to see that happen again, obviously.

So if anyone saw anything

in the vicinity of either of the two fires

that might be helpful,

please, uh, give us a ring

down at the Baltimore Homicide Unit.

[office din]

[all applauding]

Oh, Frank, can I have your autograph, please?

You were magnificent, Frank.

My heart damned near burst with pride.

Now just tell me that you've found the killer.

[Pembleton] I've not yet found the killer.

This chemist angle's getting me nowhere fast.

I've run checks on arsonists with degrees in chemistry,

arsonists who have worked anywhere near chemicals,

and convicted murderers with an interest in chemicals.

I've done everything but called Timothy Leary.

Have you considered the possibility

that this guy who bought the gasoline

lied about being a chemist?

[phone ringing]

Homicide. Pembleton.

[man] Did you find the gasoline can?

Hey, you're the guy who called me

about the first fire, right?

[man] I can't believe this.

A freak's going around killing kids.

I got kids, you know. This is really upsetting to me.

How come I never heard about the gas can?

[Pembleton] We don't know where you are or where to call.

[man] You could've mentioned on the news

how I helped out, and everything.

Well, we don't like to give away all our information.

Listen, why don't you come on down, and talk to me?

- [man laughs] I can't. - Why not?

[man] I'd just rather not, okay?

Listen, I got something

that might help you catch this creep.

- He got into a blue van. - A blue van?

- Where? When? - [man] The first fire.

I saw that guy toss the gasoline can,

and get into the van, and drive away.

Can you describe this van?

It was blue. A van.

[Pembleton] License plates, make, model?

- Windows, no windows? - It had a bumper sticker.

[Pembleton] What did the bumper sticker say?

[man] It was dark. I don't know.

I don't read bumper stickers. They're moronic.

- Listen, I gotta go. - [phone beeps]

Hey, what--

I got him.

[tense music playing]

[brakes squeal]

[banging on door]

- No one's home. - [sighs] What now?

We wait.

- Oh, no thanks. I quit. - Since when?

- Since an hour ago. - Hmm.

A little bit of willpower is all it takes.

Every puff is a tiny defeat, a display of weakness.

[sighs deeply] Mm!

What do you do for fun, Frank?

Define fun.

Fun is when you do something exciting, and maybe dangerous,

with the hope that you're gonna feel really good

before it's all over.

- Oh, you mean work. - No, I don't mean work.

I mean sucking unfiltered Camels until you get headaches,

and snagging a 50-pound marlin on the line

and guzzling Wild Turkey until you puke.

Or running around the block all night,

and shooting pool for money,

against mentally defective bikers.

- Stuff like that. - I don't have time for fun.

What the hell gets you up in the morning?

- You gotta believe in something. - Well, you can't believe in fun.

- That's not a faith. - Yeah? Fun is my god, Frank.

I worship fun. I live for fun.

And when I die, I hope that I'm having fun.

Like that upstate car dealer, Gallard.

- You remember him? - Mm-hmm.

He had a heart attack

while nailing his beautiful young mistress.

He came and went.

Now, that's the way to die.

Smoke a cigarette, please.

Arthur Anderson?

- Is this your residence? - Yes.

I'm Detective Pembleton. This is Detective Kellerman.

- We're from the Baltimore City Police. - Yes?

You made a phone call from here to the police.

- To me, actually. - No.

- Anybody else live here? - No.

[Pembleton] You mind if we come in and talk?

Shouldn't you read me my rights or something?

Well, normally, sir, that's just if you're under arrest.

Whoa. What do we got here?

No wonder our anonymous Good Samaritan wouldn't come in.

He's a burglar.

- [Kellerman] Hey. - Hang on.

Nothing on the prints from the burglary.

Our anonymous caller wore gloves.

Well, I ran a check on burglaries

in the vicinity of the first fire.

That night, a computer warehouse down the block was knocked off.

Well, I put a teletype out on blue vans with bumper stickers.

We'll see if anything pops.

Well, assuming this blue van actually exists.

[Munch] You're not listening, Kay.

I'm talking about the stress, the stress of failure,

the kind that's going to come crashing down on your head

if you study too hard,

and then flunk the sergeant's exam.

- I'm not going to flunk. - How do you know?

- I know. - But how do you know?

I just know.

I've got keen instincts, remember?

Hey, Tim, how's the back?

Doctor says that I have a degenerative disc.

Can you believe that? Degenerative.

- Yeah, where is it? - Where do you think?

It's in my back.

No, I had this friend of mine, he got pains in his arms.

Turned out it was a degenerative disc in his neck.

[Munch] I had that.

- [Bayliss] You did? - Yep.

- It went away? - Yes.

- Really? - Well, no, not really.

What I had was a degenerate disc.

- A degenerate disc, Munch? - Yeah.

You see, every time a pretty girl walked by,

my neck would move like this, completely and involuntarily.

It cured when I matured, though.

When exactly did that happen? I must have missed it.

You know something, you guys think that this is funny,

but this is no joke to me.

Degenerative means that it is degenerating.

It will get worse.

Hey, only one thing in this world is certain.

Two. There's two things in this world are certain.

Sex is fun, and sex will break your heart.

Okay, then. Three certain things.

[Lewis] So, what's the third?

Various pieces and appendages of our bodies get worse.

- It's the human condition. - [Lewis laughs]

A patrol car just called this in.

Hang on.

Okay, we got a blue van. I'll call you back.

[knocking on door]

No.

No?

No, I don't know yet

who killed Mark Landry or Bonnie Nash,

nor do I know how their deaths are related.

But I've got my crack detectives working on it,

and you can ensure Barnfather

I'll have answers within the hour, days, months,

maybe even years.

Well, I'll pass your reassurances on

- to the colonel. - Good.

But that's not why I came down here.

Why did you come down here?

To tell you that I've gotten Barnfather

to agree to your taking on a new detective.

Great.

His only condition, of course, is that you close this case.

Ah, that's blackmail.

I've heard his promises before.

Yeah, but this time I've gotten it in writing.

- How'd you get that? - [chuckles] I am good.

- How'd you-- - I'm very good.

[whistles] She's great.

[officer] They camp out in different neighborhoods

until enough neighbors complain,

and then they move to a new neighborhood.

Who's it registered to?

A Ms. Candy Jacobs.

Does this Ms. Candy Jacobs have a record?

Pandering and solicitation.

This ain't the one. Let's check it out, anyway.

This Volkswagen's got good suspension.

- Anyone naked? - Hey!

- You found a whorehouse? - On wheels.

It's kind of a Good Humor truck for sex.

I wonder if they ring a bell.

So, am I to understand that we've gotten exactly nowhere

in this investigation?

Half the city is burning down, and we've gotten nowhere.

- Frank? - Um...

- Bayliss? - Um, yeah.

- Start over. - What?

Start over. You've missed something.

Get on it.

Start over? Start over where?

The scene of the first fire.

There's nothing here, Frank. There's no one here.

I've got to sit down.

[Pembleton] I thought you were feeling better.

Ah, I was. Now I'm not.

Something changed, you know? Things do.

So, what are we looking for, exactly?

Ghosts.

[tense music playing]

[Bayliss] Excuse me. Can I get a hand here?

- Come on. - Okay.

How you doing, folks?

We're from the Baltimore City Police.

We'd like to ask a few questions

about the fire that happened across the street

a couple of nights ago.

[homeless man] What we know will cost you.

- [Pembleton] What do you know? - Ask Mrs. Rosen.

She was yakking about some good-looking guy.

- Where's Mrs. Rosen? - Back there.

Mrs. Rosen?

[Mrs. Rosen] She's not here.

- Tim, check it out. - What?

- Check it out. - I can't.

- Why not? - My back.

- Your back? - Yeah, my back.

Kellerman.

Well, you're the primary, Pembleton,

or so you keep insisting.

[knocking on door]

Mrs. Rosen?

I'm Frank Pembleton. I'm a police officer.

I'd like to ask you a few questions,

and then I'll be gone.

Did you see the fire that happened across the street

a couple of nights ago?

Did you notice a blue van

anywhere near the fire before or after?

You leave Mr. Robb alone.

Who's Mr. Robb?

Does Mr. Robb have a blue van?

He earned it with his own money.

He told me so himself.

A beautiful blue van.

He told you this the night of the fire?

He took me for a ride.

Oh.

Mr. Robb took you for a ride in his blue van.

Did he say anything?

Did he tell you anything about himself?

He admired my house.

Said it was as beautiful as Monticello.

Thank you very much.

This is ridiculous. We've been here half the night.

Do you know how many vans have been registered in the past 20 years?

Yeah, but how many could be registered to a Mr. Robb?

Patience is the key to life.

You bring crystals to work? Chant for inner peace?

I suppose an action guy like yourself

finds it hard to just sit, and concentrate.

I suppose an action guy like yourself

would rather be running in and out of fires,

wearing nifty outfits.

If he's like this, Mike. Ignore him.

- I want a cigarette. - You can't have one.

- What are you, my mother? Give me a cigarette. - You don't really want one.

You're playing a game with yourself.

You're testing the limits of your self-discipline.

If you cave in, you'll hate yourself.

- I don't want to see that. - Can I have a cup of coffee?

- Is that allowed? - [Pembleton] Yes.

[laughs]

- So, how's Mary? - [Pembleton] Fine.

Hey, how pregnant is she anyway?

Two months.

- Can you hear a heartbeat yet? - Yes.

- Wow. You must be excited, huh? - Yes.

You don't sound excited.

- I said, I'm excited. - Oh, okay.

You know, the other day when you told me about it,

it sounded like you were announcing

the end of the world, or something.

Well, what am I supposed to do? Jump up and sing?

Click my heels and twirl an umbrella,

pass out Cuban cigars?

Well, yeah, a Cohiba would be nice.

- How's your back? - Fine, thank you, Frank.

[Kellerman] You know what I hate?

No, but I'm sure you'll tell us.

I hate people who think they know

what's best for other people.

I hate people who look down on people

who can't control their every teeny little feeling.

I hate people who sit around judging other people.

Anything else?

No, that about covers it.

Okay, according to our ever-vigilant DMV,

we have a Mr. Gavin Robb

who lives at 2025 Gough Street,

and owns a 1985 Ford van.

- 2025 Gough. - Yeah.

Give me a hand. Thanks.

[Lewis] Don't forget, Kay, my money's on you, babe.

[rock music playing]

[song lyrics playing]

- [dog barking ferociously] - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[barking and snarling]

Can I help you?

- [Bayliss] Gavin Robb? - Yes.

We're from the Baltimore City Police Department.

Could you call off the dog?

Attila's harmless.

All the same, could you call the dog off?

- [dog barking] - Attila!

Good boy.

Gavin, we'd appreciate it if you'd come downtown

and answer some questions.

What about?

It would really be much better

if we discussed that downtown.

[door creaks open]

[sighs]

- It's chemistry, right? - [Gavin] Correct.

What were you doing driving around in your van

- on Tuesday night? - [Gavin chuckles]

Who says I was driving around in my van?

You know Mrs. Rosen,

the homeless woman that lives over on Glover?

- [Gavin] Sure, I know her. - How'd you meet her?

I saw her trying to get her shopping cart right-side-up.

It had fallen over, you know?

So I stopped, and helped.

[Pembleton] So you were driving around in your van Tuesday night?

I drive around in my van a lot of nights.

Is that against the law? I don't think so.

Frank, maybe we got the wrong guy here.

Let's talk about Bonnie Nash.

I didn't know her.

Well, she was in your chemistry class, right?

- Last year. - [Pembleton laughs]

[Gavin] Last year she was in my chemistry class.

I get a lot of kids passing through my life.

You didn't maybe have a crush on Bonnie?

You didn't maybe get a little carried away

with your affections?

You know, maybe she said that she was going to tell someone.

Maybe her parents?

The school principal?

I said no, Detective.

You can keep asking the same question,

but the answer's not going to change.

Tell us more about Mrs. Rosen, the homeless woman.

- She's crazy. - Correct.

- I feel sorry for crazy people. - [Gavin] So do I.

That's why I helped her.

Well, more people should be like you,

willing to take a moment to help the disenfranchised.

If you don't, the problem's not going to get any better.

You two want to have a symposium on mental health in America,

do it over a beer when I'm done, okay?

Jeez, Frank, we're just talking. Back off.

- Heads or tails? - What?

- Heads or tails? - Heads.

You win. I'm going to grab a smoke.

[door slams]

[chuckles]

Flipping the coin, Frank?

Nice touch.

He's gonna lose this guy.

This is that good cop, bad cop thing, right?

[Kellerman] You're smart, but mistaken.

How so?

He's not the bad cop. I am.

He's the good cop, right on top of the job.

Me, I'm just an arson guy.

This homicide thing is not my expertise.

Well, hey, we can't be an expert on everything, now.

[Kellerman] True enough. Tell me about your dog, Attila.

- How long you had him? - Eight years.

I've had dogs myself.

It's funny how attached you get, isn't it?

Okay, I'm going to get a pill.

Get either of you guys anything?

Me? No.

But, thanks.

You're welcome.

He's not an animal lover.

To me, personally, the hardest part of these fires

was finding that dog.

- What dog? - In the first fire.

A street dog, I guess. A shepherd-terrier mix.

Attila's size.

When I think how painfully that dog must have died.

So, do you really think

that I had something to do with these fires?

Listen, Gavin, you don't have to convince me.

It's the good cop I'd worry about.

You want to know a little trade secret?

No one expects any honest answers here.

What a good cop expects is for you to lie.

Because lying digs you in deeper.

- If I'm lying. - Everybody lies.

When a good cop asks you about that fire,

do you really think he expects you to say,

"Well, Detective, funny you should ask.

I carried in a can of gasoline,

and a few rolls of toilet paper, so I could burn up a dead body."

Are you so stupid that you would say that?

- No. - Of course not. That's my point.

A good cop is like a good lawyer.

He's not going to ask you a question

he doesn't know the answer to.

Okay, before Detectives Pembleton and Bayliss get back,

let's review what we know, and what we don't know,

so you can go home,

and make sure Attila's got his puppy chow, okay?

- Sure. Fine. - Okay.

The good cop knows you were spotted driving your blue van

around the scene of the first fire.

Says Mrs. Rosen.

- Who's crazy. - True. Good point.

Not much of a witness, is she?

On the other hand, you've got a blue van.

And the blue van has a nice, big bumper sticker.

People tend to notice nice, big bumper stickers.

[chuckles] Who?

On the other hand, lots of people got blue vans.

Lots of people have bumper stickers.

You didn't by any chance know Mark Landry, did you?

No. Who's he?

The kid who died in the first fire.

Okay, and just so I've got this straight.

Bonnie Nash was in your chemistry class,

but you don't really remember her.

And you certainly didn't know her.

Correct.

Okay.

We're finished here.

You can go home.

- I can? - [Kellerman] Yeah, you can.

[chuckles]

Why'd you kill the dog?

I didn't know the dog was there.

[sighs]

[dramatic music playing]

[Kellerman sighs]

What about Mark Landry?

[laughs]

I didn't know he was in there.

Then why'd you set the first fire?

To make Bonnie's death look like an accident.

Wait, give me a second. I'm slow here.

You planned all this out?

You set the first fire to distract us?

You actually went around looking for empty warehouses to burn?

I figured if I set the fire with Bonnie's body in it first,

you would be more likely to suspect murder.

So I did the first one

to make it look like a serial arsonist.

But the only person you intended to kill was Bonnie Nash?

- [Gavin] Correct. - [Kellerman] Where's the hammer?

[Gavin] The hammer's in the basement of my house.

It's a carpenter's hammer manufactured by Plumb.

Very reliable.

I hit her four times.

How'd you get so handy at setting fires?

Off the Internet.

[laughs] Where else?

- Why'd you kill her? - That's none of your business.

See, my private life is my private life.

Would you write a statement for me?

- Your own words? - Look. [laughs]

I want a lawyer.

Yeah, I bet.

[dramatic music playing]

Hey, hey, hey. It's Sergeant Kay.

Not so fast, Meldrick, the results won't be posted for a while, huh?

Yeah, but you aced it, though, right?

Ah, I got a good feeling.

[both chuckling]

Maybe we should change those odds.

They're so one-sided, huh?

What are you protecting that mook for?

He never showed.

He never showed?

- You're kidding me. - No.

I tried to get them to wait,

but the examiner was a stickler for the rules, man.

[Lewis laughs]

What? What?

Well, what can I say? It was a comedy of errors.

There I was, totally prepared to take the sergeant's exam.

After an exhilarating eight-hour cram fest,

my brain packed with useful facts,

I discover one of my socks is missing.

I wanted to wear my yellow-striped socks.

And one of them was missing.

I don't take any exams without my yellow-striped socks.

So I went down to the landlady's apartment

to see if maybe she found the sock in the laundry room,

only she's passed out on the couch,

on account of all the Beefeaters she poured down her gullet.

Then, I go back up to my place, I realize I locked myself out.

- [Howard laughs] - And so it went.

But I don't feel bad, because I would have passed.

I was ready. Psyched. In the zone.

- How did you do, Kay? - She aced it, Munch.

Hey, now, I got a good feeling, that's all I'm saying, huh?

Great, fabulous news. Congratulations all around.

Oh, Munchkin.

What?

You owe me some moolah.

[sighs]

[door clicks shut]

I didn't know there was a dog in that first fire.

There wasn't.

Here at Homicide, we're not often outsmarted.

There are no real masterminds out there.

Mostly we're dealing with people who think they are,

if they think at all.

The problem is, there's so many of them.

Why did he do it?

Gavin Robb is a very ordinary chemistry teacher.

But at night, he drives around and he helps homeless people...

and kills teenagers.

What's that about? I don't get it.

You don't have to get it.

You'll sleep better if you don't know.

Give me the where, the what, the when, the how.

Why...

is a thing we can live without.

You think you can do that?

I'm not sure I follow you.

Homicide is the elite of the police force.

There is no higher calling.

Are you offering me a job?

If you're interested. Are you interested?

I'm sorry, Lieutenant.

I think I'll stick where I am.

I'm pretty good at arson.

Thanks, anyway.

[door clicks shut]

[gentle rock playing on radio]

[song lyrics playing on radio]

[machines whirring]

Hey, you're not sampling the supplies, are you?

- Mikey! - Hey, Dad.

Son, you're not in trouble, are you?

No, I'm not in trouble. I was in the neighborhood.

I thought I'd stop by.

You're looking for a friendly face.

I thought I'd talk to someone who's got a worse day than me.

I can always count on you.

My feet hurt.

My arthritis is so bad I can barely work the machine.

The only reason I don't retire is I can't afford to.

- And you? - Pain in the ass case.

I heard about them fires. Kids got burned.

Yeah, kids got burned.

Hey, Dad, you ever want to do something,

and think maybe you weren't good enough?

Son, the secret of my success

is I never did anything I didn't know I was good at.

Life's too short.

Who needs the extra hassle, right?

That's right, you know.

Play it close. Get through the day.

Go home in one piece.

Right.

Hey, hey.

- Hey. - Hey.

You know, maybe I should quit, too.

Sorry I missed you on TV, Frank.

I heard you were stellar. [laughs]

This damn thing's going to kill me.

Want to get a beer?

Nah.

I should go home and see how Mary's doing, you know.

Is she okay? Huh?

My child is--

[chuckles] My child.

My child is...

this big right now.

Very small.

Very helpless.

You want to know why I'm not celebrating, Tim?

I'll tell you.

Because I'm scared.

Everywhere I look,

I see a reason

not to bring a child into this world.

People setting other people on fire.

People living like animals in the streets.

No one can protect them.

Not even their fathers.

Not even their fathers.

How am I going to protect my baby, Tim?

A beer. You know, a beer sounds pretty good right about now.

Yeah. Get a frosty, huh?

[gentle rock music playing]

[song lyrics playing]

Hey, Lieutenant Giardello still here?

Yeah, he's in his cave.

Hard at work, glaring at some papers.

Can I have one, too?

[knocking]

[Giardello] Enter.

[theme song playing]