Original subtitles

[Munch] One for the road, Lieutenant?

Oh, yeah.

I don't know why at the end of every shift,

I have to have one last cup of bad squadron coffee.

Working nights, my system's always out of whack.

My life's out of whack.

Did you ever have your face read?

I'm sorry. What? My face read?

Yeah, there's this old Sicilian woman down on Sprint Street.

She reads faces.

Now, go like this.

Put your thumb and your forefinger like that.

- Uh-huh. - Okay.

- Then go like this. - Uh-huh.

And if the distance is exactly the same,

that means your soul is in harmony with the universe.

Huh, thanks. I feel much better.

Well, I don't. My face is off by this much.

My face is not gonna change.

Does this mean I'll never be in harmony with the universe?

I'd say your only option is plastic surgery.

[Russert] Yeah, I got another one. [clears throat]

I have a little secret that girls know.

Did you know, that on a man,

the distance from here to here...

is the same size as the end of his penis?

Have a great day, guys.

- I'll check later. - Yeah. Me too. Cream?

[theme music playing]

[lid creaking]

[Bayliss yawns]

I can't move.

[sighs] I have to go to work and I can't move.

Oh, I'm sorry if you're cramped.

No, no, no, no, no. It's not that I can't move.

I just don't wanna move.

[sighs] Your coffin is surprisingly comfortable.

I designed it for two.

It's like...

God and the solar system are...

right in here with us.

I'm breathing

without breathing.

I have got to get to that morgue soon.

[both moaning]

Maybe not that soon.

[police radio chatter]

You're out of your mind. It's not a mosquito bite.

If it was a mosquito bite, there'd be a little red dot there.

- There's nothing there to see. - Yeah, what about poison ivy?

Allergies? Scabies?

Does everything have to have an explanation?

It's an itch of unknown origin. It's a mystery itch.

- Could be fleas. - Oh, if anything, it's a nervous reaction.

Buying this bar has been a morass of complications,

wrought with high stress and anxiety.

- Lewis and Bayliss hate each other-- - How you doing, Dr. Scheiner?

- [Scheiner] Okay. - You don't care, do you?

My life's in turmoil and you just don't care.

[Bolander] Later, Munch. Much later. What have we got here?

One bullet wound to the right temple.

One back of the neck and two through the back.

[Bolander sighs] 9mm.

Looks like your basic shoot-em-up.

Your textbook drug deal gone south.

I don't know, Stan, he looks like a taxpaying citizen to me.

[officer] Okay, let's roll him.

Damn, I know this kid.

His name is Raymond Lydell.

I've been doing a series of articles about the Cali Cocaine Cartel,

and how it's been creeping into Baltimore.

He's a bag runner for these guys.

He was helping me get names.

Well, my guess is he got the names you wanted,

only they didn't want you to get those names.

[foghorn blowing]

So you quit as a partner in the bar, right?

- Yeah, I can't be in business with people I can't trust. - [Howard scoffs]

And Bayliss betrayed me.

I mean, he knew how I felt about Emma,

and he went and jumped her bones behind my back.

[Felton] You told her, didn't you?

Oh! Morning to you too, Beau.

- Hey, what's the matter? - Could you leave us alone?

Color me gone.

You told Beth about Megan. That we're sleeping together.

What are you talking about? What's going on?

She left me, Kay. Took everything I owned.

- Cleaned out the house. She took my kids. - [Howard] Oh, geez.

I have no freaking idea where she is, where my kids are.

You told her, didn't you? Tell me the truth.

Will you quit yelling at me?

I didn't tell Beth a damn thing.

She must have found out about Megan.

You're the only other person that knew.

I-- I need another detective.

I wish I could help you out, Al. I really do.

Lewis has been working without a partner since Crosetti died.

You can't expect me to maintain the same clearance rate with a man short.

It's out of my hands. It's a budget thing. The line item is frozen.

Well, then, when is it going to thaw?

I can only do what I can do, Al.

Then how do you expect me to do what I gotta do?

[Bayliss coughing]

[Bayliss] God, it smells in here.

So, what have we stumbled upon, Doctor?

Judging from the state of decomp,

she's been dead for almost two weeks.

Two weeks?

Well, she doesn't look so bad, considering.

Considering what? That she could look like Tutankhamun?

Her name is Sadie Ballantyne.

We got a call from a neighbor complaining about the smell.

We're gonna wanna talk to that neighbor.

[Bayliss] So, what do you think, doc?

Unless something's found on the autopsy,

I'd say natural causes.

Oh, look here. Roses.

[Bayliss exhales] So what?

Oh, they're fresh.

Frank, come on, come on, let's go take this outside, all right?

- What's the matter? - What's the matter?

I can't breathe, Frank. Doesn't this stench bother you?

No, it doesn't bother me, because I won't allow it to bother me.

Yeah, right, Frank. You, G. Gordon Liddy, and Henry Rollins.

We got the neighbor, Edna Washburn. She's out front.

[Pembleton] Okay.

Did you know Sadie Ballantyne?

Why wouldn't I know her? Lived next door for 22 years.

Is there a Mr. Ballantyne?

Arthur's her husband.

He used to work for Baltimore Asphalt Paving.

He's retired.

- Just takes care of Sadie now. - Oh, was she sick?

Last month or so, I never even saw her leave the house.

But Arthur, he was-- uh, he was right there, taking care of her.

Brought her roses just yesterday.

He brought her roses yesterday?

Miss Washburn, uh, Sadie has been dead for two weeks.

Oh, poor Arthur.

It's gonna break his heart when he finds out.

[knocking on door]

Tell me who killed Raymond Lydell.

- I don't know. - You don't know?

You have suspects. You have leads.

Tell me what you're doing, Al.

We're looking. That's all we can do, is look.

Have you been to narcotics?

[chuckling]

Yeah, I went to Narcotics, and they said to come to you.

You know, I love this game that you guys play, you know?

You act nice, you don't say anything,

and then you say, "Go bug the other guy."

Am I bugging you now, Al? Is that it?

- Yeah, you are bugging me, Sam. - Look, I-- I'm this close.

I'm about to break the story on the Colombian infiltration on the local drug trade.

Now, when I publish these articles, maybe something will happen.

Maybe something will change.

Nothing ever happens. Nothing ever changes.

Come on, man. You know, you trying to be cynical, but I've known you too long.

You still believe in equality and justice

and all our boyhood enthusiasms.

And look at this. You still even read my newspaper.

- I never go to the john empty-handed. - Well, you know what?

Maybe I should deliver it to all the johns in Baltimore.

You know, the guys could relax with a good read.

I-- I'll tell you what, I'll even make the paper biodegradable,

and everybody wins.

[tool whirring]

[Bayliss] Boy, I had a great time last night.

I told Andy about you.

Who?

Andy, the man I've been seeing.

You know, the Baltimore county cop?

- I told you about him. - Yeah.

Yeah, man, I know that you told me about him,

but why did you tell him about me?

Because Andy and I are absolutely honest

in our feelings about each other.

Okay, and so?

And so, he reacted honestly.

He got angry.

He knocked me down.

He knocked you down?

This guy hit you?

Well, he shoved me a little.

I mean, it was quite a shock for him, you and me.

Where is this guy? I'm gonna kill this son of a bitch.

No, no. No, he-- he's hurt. He-- he loves me.

I can't believe you're defending him. Why are you doing that?

I-- I mean, you said before that you were gonna break up with this guy.

- I didn't say that. - [Bayliss scoffs]

I told Andy about us because of the way I feel about you.

And, um...

how do you feel about me?

Like this.

[dramatic music]

[Bolander] What have we got?

One clean shot, execution-style, in the back of the head.

The casing was a .45.

No one saw much of anything.

[scoffs] Restaurant full of people,

and nobody looks up from their plate?

Manicotti that good here?

[officer] Detectives.

She saw what happened.

Can I have your name, please, miss?

Roberta Garsetti.

[Bolander] What did you see, Ms. Garsetti?

Evangeline had just brought over Sam's Piombino

when a young man walked in.

- How young? - 18 or so.

I-- I turned away to add up a bill and...

I turned back and Sam's dead,

and the kid's standing over him with a gun in his hand.

[Lewis] And then what happened?

[Roberta] The-- the kid went over to the register,

and he picked up a mint, and then he left a dime on the counter,

and-- and then he was gone.

Excuse me.

This guy blows Sam Thorne away,

and he stops and pays a dime for a mint?

Now, Miss, we're gonna need you to come downtown, look at some pictures.

Okay? You think you're able to do that?

I'm still on my shift.

I would say that the lunch rush is over.

- Wanna take her down? - [Bolander] Yeah, okay.

Come with me, please.

[*]

[Bayliss] Andy, what a stupid name.

Andy Hardy, right? Andy Panda.

- What are we doing here? - Andy Griffith.

Guy made a living saying, "Golly, Aunt Bee."

We're supposed to be looking for one Arthur Ballantyne,

who, even if he didn't murder his wife,

left her to rot in the living room.

Either way, the man has some serious explaining to do.

Andy Gibb. Andy Rooney. Andy Warhol.

Not Andrew, but Andy.

He hit her, Frank.

That bastard hit her.

I'm gonna say something to him.

- Andy Williams. - [Bayliss] What?

Andy Williams. He had all those hits during the '70s.

Then his wife left him for a ski instructor named Spider.

Yeah, don't help me, Frank.

Andy?

Andy Moranis?

- Yeah? - Hey, Tim Bayliss.

- So, you're the guy? - Yeah, that's right, I'm the guy.

Listen, I came here to talk to you about Emma.

- I got nothing to say to you. - Oh, no? Listen.

I know that you hit her, okay, Andy?

And I want you to know that that is never gonna happen again.

You got that?

- Oh, is that right? - Yeah. That's right.

Now, you stay away from her, okay?

It makes you feel better about yourself, huh?

Hitting someone, hitting a woman, big man, huh?

Make you forget that you're gonna be stuck here in the suburbs

giving out traffic tickets for the rest of your miserable, pissant life, huh?

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You know, hey, hey. You know what I need right now? I need a sandwich.

'Cause sorry, if I don't get something to eat every four hours,

my blood sugar falls through the floor.

- Okay? - [Bayliss] Yeah.

- Okay? - Yeah, okay.

[dog barking]

I just did you a favor.

- Monica. - Hello, Al.

I'm very sorry about your father.

We'll find who killed him.

[scoffs] Good luck.

There was a long list of people who wanted Sam Thorne dead.

He managed to annoy or enrage just about everyone he ever met.

[Monica] What are you doing?

I'm looking for your dad's notes on some articles he was writing.

What the hell am I gonna do with this place? Sell it?

Who's gonna want to buy it? There's typewriters out there.

And that printing press?

Makes Gutenberg seem high tech.

How long you gonna be in town?

I was thinking of asking Charisse to come down.

We could all go out to dinner.

Uh...

Thanks, Al, but I'm here to see him laid to rest, and then I'm out of here.

- Back to med school? - Back to med school.

But when you see that daughter of yours, tell her I said hello.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is Detective Felton, Baltimore City Police.

I'm calling to see if your movers moved a household

at 1720 Lynch Road in Dundalk.

You want some coffee, Beau?

[Felton] No, this would've been yesterday.

Beau?

Somebody just got flowers.

- Oh, thanks, Julie. - There's no card.

That's okay. I know who they're from.

What's the matter with you?

- I'm a little down, okay? - [Howard] Oh.

Is that all right, or do I have to get

the entire squad room's permission to be depressed?

That's okay. You wanna be depressed, knock yourself out.

There's, like, an epidemic of depression around here.

Aren't you interested in the cause of my depression?

To be honest, no.

Meldrick backed out as a partner in the bar.

Yeah, I know. I heard.

- So that means I have to find another backer. - Mm-hmm.

- Say, Kay-- - [Howard] No.

- But-- - Munch!

All right. All right. All right.

Who brought you the lovely bouquet?

Ed Danvers. I don't know why men send flowers.

Well, they're expensive and they smell good.

Just like women.

Yeah, but flowers die.

I hate flowers.

You know, you should tell him that.

Tell Danvers that. Save him some money.

Of course, he makes a pretty penny over there

as assistant state's attorney.

$38,500 a year.

These days, that's a fortune, Kay. He's a good catch.

- You think? - Sure.

Does Danvers have any money saved?

I don't know. I guess. [chuckles]

Sit down.

Do you think Danvers would be interested

in investing in the bar?

Why am I talking to you?

[Howard laughing]

[Giardello] Is this a suspect in the Thorne murder?

Matt Cameron, 19.

Lives with his mother in Reservoir Hill.

Waitress at the restaurant eyeballed him in a line-up.

- Made a positive ID. - Priors?

Couple of drug arrests. Nothing big time.

Any ties to the Colombian cartel?

[scoffs] Not as far as we know.

- There has to be some connection. - He's really scared.

But he's sticking to his story. Says he didn't do it.

The boy's none too bright, Gee.

Just give us a little time with him. He'll break.

- Take the time. Get the gun? - Not yet.

Get the gun. Get the bullets. I want a confession.

I want it backed up by evidence. I want it to be pristine.

You got it, Gee.

[Lewis] We're back, Matt.

We know you shot the man. There's no use lying about it.

It's not gonna do you no good.

I don't lie.

Have a seat, son.

If you weren't in that restaurant, then where were you?

Uh, somewhere else.

[Lewis scoffs]

Can I have a Coke? I'm thirsty.

Sure. You can have a Coke.

Soon as you tell us the truth.

Who put you up to this?

Nobody.

I mean, I didn't do it.

[Lewis sighs] I remember my mama...

used to always tell me, "Tell the truth."

She'd get one whiff of a lie,

boy, she'd go get my daddy's belt,

and beat the black off of me.

[chuckles]

You got a mama, don't you?

- Yeah. - [Lewis] Sure you do.

And didn't your mama tell you, "Always tell the truth"?

- I do tell the truth. - No, man.

No, you don't.

And I'ma have to go tell your mama that you're lying.

No, don't do that.

Don't do that.

Where's Dwight?

[Bolander] Who's Dwight?

I wanna see Dwight.

[Bolander] Who's Dwight? Is he a friend of yours?

- I wanna see Dwight. - Okay.

We'll get Dwight. We'll get Dwight for you.

But first, you gonna answer me a question.

You went into the restaurant, you shot Sam Thorne,

and then you paid ten cent for a mint.

Why did you pay for the mint?

I ain't a thief.

He ain't a thief.

He ain't a thief?

[knocking on door]

- [girl] Uncle Beau. - [Felton] Hey, Sandy.

- Are your mom or dad at home? - [Sandy] Dad is.

Do you wanna come in?

Go on inside, all right?

Now, what are you doing here, Beau?

Where are they? Where did Beth take my kids?

I told you, man. I told you on the phone, I don't know.

You're her brother. You're telling me you have no idea where she is?

I have no idea where she is.

I've called every moving company in town,

every place that rents trucks, every shipping company.

I've called every hotel and motel.

Seen all her friends. Friends of friends.

Nothing.

I'm asking you, Bob, please.

I know Beth may have told you not to, but, please...

if you know where they are, you gotta tell me.

I'm sorry, man. I can't help you.

What? You hate me that much?

- Is that-- - I don't hate you, man.

I just never liked you, is all.

But I don't hate you.

Where the hell did she take my kids, you son of a bitch?

You know something, I am not surprised she left.

I'm only surprised it took her this long.

Now get off my property...

before I call the cops.

- Hey, Al. - [Giardello] You're early.

Your shift doesn't start for another two hours.

Yeah, I know,

but I'm about two weeks behind on my paperwork.

Granger and Barnfather have been giving me

long, disapproving stares.

Don't talk to me about them.

I keep thinking I should take Crosetti's name down,

dole out all his open cases to the others.

But everyone's already overworked...

and I just can't seem to do it.

Yeah, well, you will, when the time is right.

Where the hell have you two been?

[Pembleton] Keeping the county cops in line.

What's that supposed to mean?

I had some business to take care of.

Business? Have you found Arthur Ballantyne?

- Not exactly. - Mrs. Ballantyne died of a heart attack.

The ME wants to know where to release the body.

It wasn't a homicide?

This is a no-brainer.

It can hardly be called police work.

I want the husband brought in for psychiatric evaluation.

- Close the case. Capisce? - Got it. Sorry.

Don't be sorry, do your job.

Your job is to keep me from being aggravated,

and right now I'm aggravated.

- Yes, sir. - So, then, where the hell were you?

[Bayliss] Uh, it was a personal matter.

Personal matter? You're pathetic, Bayliss.

You can't come up with a better excuse than that?

- I'm in love, sir. - [Giardello] You're in love?

You wanna fall in love? Do it on your own time.

[Lewis] Hey, Dwight, Detective Lewis,

Detective Bolander, Homicide.

How'd you find me?

Well, Matt says he got a friend named Dwight.

We ask around, and everybody points to you.

How's Matt, man? He all right?

Your friend's in a lot of trouble.

Man, whatever he did, he didn't do it.

- Oh, he didn't, huh? - Nah.

See, Matt ain't all there, man.

I been watching out for him these couple of years.

It's like I'm his big brother or something,

only we ain't related.

Well, we got a eye witness, saw him shoot a man,

and you're gonna stand here, and tell me he didn't?

Look, man, I'm saying like this.

He didn't know what he was doing, all right?

I mean, he does what people tell him to do.

I mean, he lives in his own little dream world, man.

You know, he just goes off on his beat-up old bicycle,

hours at a time, just...

- exploring. - [Lewis] Dwight.

If you are like his brother...

then you need to talk to us.

You need to tell us what you know, because that is the only way

that you're gonna help your friend.

[Dwight sighs]

[Lewis] Excuse me?

What's this? A ham sandwich?

Oh, officer's model, 45 caliber.

Where'd you get the gun, son?

[Bolander] Who gave Matt the gun?

Same guy that told him to kill that man.

So who told him to kill Sam Thorne?

Look, son,

your boy is gonna do state time for this.

And there's no reason in the world for him

to take the rap alone.

- Wipe that look off your face! - [Dwight exclaiming]

[foghorn blowing]

- Mr. Ballantyne? - Yeah.

I'm Detective Bayliss, and this is Detective Pembleton.

Why did those two policemen stop me?

I was just looking at the seals.

Sadie loved the seals.

Sir, we'd like to talk to you about your wife.

Where is she?

I went home and she was gone.

Mr. Ballantyne, your wife is in the morgue.

Oh, I knew I shouldn't have left her alone.

[Pembleton] Sir, is there a particular funeral home you'd like to use?

If not, we can give you some names.

No, I'd like to take her home.

Well, taking her home is not an option.

[Pembleton] Burial or cremation, those are your options.

[Bayliss] Why didn't you notify anyone when your wife passed away?

It was too soon.

- Too soon? - [Mr. Ballantyne] To let her go.

We'd been married 51 years.

[Pembleton] Till death do you part.

Those are the vows. You die, you part.

I worked for Baltimore Asphalt Paving my whole life.

I never had much going for me,

but what I had was my Sadie.

I knew at the end of every day, there she'd be,

waiting for me to come home.

So, when she died, you...

left her in the living room?

Oh, if I had to go out, I'd turn on the set,

so she'd have some company.

Well, I just-- I have one question.

Oh, what's that?

How could you stand the smell?

You get used to it.

No, no, no, no, I'm not.

Did I do something to you? Is that why you're deliberately trying to ruin my life?

I am, as usual, innocent.

Oh, yeah? Well, you broke Meldrick's heart.

I'd like you to apologize.

Ah, I tried. He called me a disloyal son of a bitch.

And for that reason, you're willing to sink our entire enterprise?

Forfeit all our hopes and dreams? Lose our down payment?

Listen, I did nothing to Meldrick except for follow my own heart.

Emma already made herself clear to him.

She feels nothing, zip, zero!

And that's not my fault.

But...

I tell you something.

You go to Meldrick, and you tell him

that he doesn't have to worry about being partners with me in the bar.

I'm out, okay?

O-U-T.

That's not the way I wanted this to go.

Hey, Bayliss!

Jerome Sinclair?

Yes.

Detective Lewis, Detective Bolander, homicide.

We'd like to talk to you about Matt Cameron.

Matt Cameron?

- The name rings no bells. - He knows you.

Gentlemen, the next time you need a haircut...

you owe it to yourselves to get a trim from Benedict here.

He's one of Baltimore's finest barbers.

Old school. Last of a dying breed.

Mr. Cameron has been arrested for the murder of Sam Thorne.

You may know him, or know of him.

He ran a small community newspaper.

[Bolander] You gave Matt a gun, a .45.

Showed him how to pull the trigger?

I did nothing illegal.

You set this murder in motion, Mr. Sinclair.

And in the state of Maryland, that's the same as if you just pulled a trigger.

Well, maybe we can work something out.

[Lewis] I don't think so.

I had nothing against this journalist.

I'm just a businessman, a facilitator.

Who were you facilitating for?

Some acquaintances of mine from Colombia.

Who exactly in Colombia?

Let me call my lawyer. I'll get back to you on that.

You can call your lawyer from downtown.

Benedict's not finished.

I'm all uneven. I can't go downtown all uneven.

I'll loan you a hat.

It's supposed to be--

I thought everything was gonna be okay.

Do you know where she went?

I have no idea.

Talked to her brother, her mother.

Either they don't know or they're not telling me.

I got nothing to go on.

[Russert] You should take some time off, Beau.

To do what? Sit by the phone and hope the hell that she calls?

Oh, well, she'll call.

She won't be able to go far. Not with three kids.

You know what I think?

You know why she jumped through fire to get me to come home again?

'Cause she wanted to get in the last word.

She wanted to stick it to me.

[sighs] She probably left to--

to save herself.

Her sanity. Her dignity. I don't know.

Megan, you know the only reason that I went back to her was for the kids.

I missed you so much.

[emotional music]

Beau, I...

I don't keep fires burning for anyone.

I don't have that kind of energy.

I've got nowhere else to turn, Megan.

I'm really sorry for what you're going through.

I really wish that I could help, but...

I'm exactly the wrong person.

[*]

I gotta go.

Why did you do that?

- Do what? - Go see Andy?

Oh, well, I just wanted to talk to him.

You wanted to threaten him.

Just trying to help out, Emma. That's all I'm doing.

Look, if I need your help, I'll ask for it.

Otherwise, don't get involved in my life!

Wait a minute! I thought that I was involved in your life.

I don't think we should see each other anymore.

Please, Emma, come on. You don't mean that.

Yeah, I do.

Okay, look. I'm sorry.

If there was something that I did, I apologize.

Look, if you wanna be in a relationship with me, deal with me.

Don't fight with my friends about me.

If you wanna fight, fight with me!

I don't wanna fight with you.

- See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. - What?

If you don't wanna fight with me, I can't be in this relationship.

I can't be in a relationship with you.

You don't wanna fight with me, so I don't want this relationship!

Hey, come on! Don't walk-- Emma!

[sighing]

[door rattles open]

I'm Lieutenant Giardello. Mind if I sit down?

I don't mind.

You gonna ask me questions like they did?

Sam Thorne was a friend of mine.

Oh.

Why'd you do it? Why did you kill my friend?

They paid me $500.

- So you did it for the money? - Yeah.

What were you gonna do with all that money, Matt?

Were you going to buy something?

Yeah.

What?

A man's life is worth $500 for what?

A boom box?

A gold chain? Savings bonds? What?

- A bike. - A bike?

- Yes, sir. - A motorcycle.

No. A bike.

A regular bike with pedals?

A bicycle?

A stumpjumper.

All Shimano XT components.

Shift on the fly gears. 21 speeds.

Best mountain bike there is.

There are no mountains in Baltimore.

[Bayliss sighs]

[cash register whirring, beeping]

It's $10.78.

$10.78?

$10.78.

That's... ten.

That's 25.

I think I've got another quarter here.

Uh, okay that's a quarter.

A couple of dimes. A couple of pennies.

That's $10.67.

You're 11 cents short.

[Bayliss] Well, I'm-- I'm good for it. I shop here all the time.

I do. I shop here all the time.

That's 11 more cents.

Where's that other guy who works here?

Because he knows me. He knows me. What's his name again?

Look, he is gonna tell you that I'm good for this. I'll bring in the 11 cents.

I'll bring it right down here personally, okay?

[cashier] It's $10.78.

I already rang it up.

But I'm asking you to reach down

into the recesses of your heart,

and to please, please, show a fellow human being,

who is in need of a beer and some cookies...

[sighs] ...a little courtesy, compassion.

[sighs]

- I gotta void the sale. - [Bayliss sighs]

[Bayliss whispering] You gotta void the sale.

I'm appealing to your sense of decency, okay?

I am begging you to show a little mercy, okay?

That quality that enabled man to rise up

out of the primordial ooze and walk erect!

Humanity!

- I gotta void the sale. - You gotta void the sale?

Is that right, huh? Is that right?

Yes, that's right.

Okay!

Do you still have to void the sale, huh?

No!

[exhales sharply] Okay.

Now, I would like a bag, please.

Paper, not plastic, please.

And some of that gum.

The-- the sugar-free, right.

Yeah. That's good.

[bag crinkling]

Thank you. Thanks.

[siren wailing]

[officer] Well, step out of the car, sir.

Keep your hands and your arms visible at all times.

All right. Listen, I'm a police officer.

Detective Bayliss, homicide.

- [officer] Got some ID, officer? - Yeah. Yeah, I do.

I'm just getting my shield, okay?

Sorry, Detective,

but we're responding to a call regarding an armed robbery.

Description of the gunman's car matches your vehicle.

- Yeah, I know it does. Uh-- - That's him. That's him.

I can explain about this--

That's the guy. He held a gun on me.

Are you gonna arrest him or what?

[police radio chatter]

Free to go, Detective.

I'm sorry to take up so much of your time.

Oh, no problem. It happens sometimes.

Officer's in a hurry, clerk sees the gun, calls the cops.

That's what he said he saw, the gun?

You're ready to go, right?

Wait a minute, you don't trust me to drive my car?

No, I don't, because you might get tailgated

and wind up shooting at a school bus.

Let me get the beer.

[Bayliss groaning]

What's wrong?

What, you heading out?

Yeah, I got to find a place to stay.

House is empty, I don't wanna go back to it.

Hey, Beau, you're welcome to sleep on my couch, huh?

No, thanks. I'm done living with women for a while.

Meldrick, what's this I hear?

We're not going after the creep who hired Matt to shoot Sam?

Well, Jerome Sinclair's lawyer made whoopee with the DEA,

so they're trying to build a case against the Cali Cartel,

so they offer him a deal to testify.

That's showbiz.

That poor dumb kid goes up for life,

and the guy that put him up to it, maybe he gets a few years.

But the big honcho in Colombia,

- he just goes out and buys a new helicopter. - Ah, I don't know.

Maybe Sinclair's testimony will help us get an indictment on this one.

- We'll see. - Drink?

- Good night, Lieutenant. - [Russert] Good night, Naomi.

- Good night. - Good night. Knock, knock.

Oh, hi, John. You working late on a case?

No, actually, I was just heading home, but I said to myself,

"Lieutenant Russert,

now there's a woman.

A person with a head on her shoulders."

Well, thanks.

I said to myself, "There is a person

who knows the subtleties and the intimacies of a good investment."

- May I? - Oh.

- By all means. - Thank you.

Because I figured that

you are the kind of person who has money saved.

Oh, what do you want me to say, Frank?

Do you want me to say thank you?

Yeah, I want you to say thank you.

Oh. That guy didn't just see my gun.

I showed him the gun. I put it right in his face.

Well, don't tell me. I don't wanna know.

What did you say to him?

I told him that you were a cop,

and technically, you didn't steal anything.

And that you were very sorry,

and you wouldn't do it again and you didn't mean it.

- [Bayliss] Is that it? - Well, I also offered him protection

against those who would genuinely seek to rob him.

His own personal security guard. Three nights a week.

- Free of charge. - Oh.

- That'd be me, huh? - Yeah, that would be you.

[Bayliss] Have you ever been in love, Frank?

[Pembleton] What?

Have you ever been in love?

Um, yeah, I've been in love.

I am in love.

Yeah, well, you're married. It's, you know.

Probably say you're in love every day.

And most days I am.

You and your wife, you think that was meant to be?

[Pembleton] What?

You know, like Sadie and Arthur Ballantyne.

Do you think that there is one perfect person for each of us?

I mean, what if your one true love

was an Eskimo, and you lived in Des Moines,

and you had spent your whole life looking

and looking and looking, and then you never met her?

Or...

that you did meet her...

and she married another Eskimo?

There are a lot of nice girls in Des Moines.

Yeah, I know that, Frank, but in your heart,

in your heart, Frank, you'd want the Eskimo.

Finding love is like solving the perfect crime.

You look at every shred of evidence,

you talk to every witness,

follow up every lead, but more often than not,

what wins in the end is just pure dumb luck,

and you, my friend, are just not lucky.

By the way, you owe me 11 cents.

All this could have been mine.

This beer tap, mine. This speed ramp, mine.

This bar rag, mine.

Do you wanna know what the cause of my downfall is?

My Waterloo, my Watergate, my Whitewater?

Lust. Pure, unadulterated lust.

Lust is usually the cause of your downfall, Munch.

Yeah, only this time I didn't even get any.

[Bolander] How about other investors?

Please!

[Howard] Hey, wait, Russert said no?

Russert said a lot of things, but you know,

she's not quite the prim and proper lady she would have us believe.

So, no one else wants to invest?

I even called both my ex-wives.

- I called Stan's ex. - What?

By the way, she sends her best.

What if Bayliss just went to Meldrick and apologized?

I asked him to do that, and Bayliss said N-O.

How the hell are you ever gonna get those two guys to be friends again?

By doing the only honorable thing:

lying.

[Lewis] What's up, fellas?

[Howard] Hey, hey.

Hi, Meldrick.

Thanks for coming, man, I appreciate it.

- I gotta talk to you for a minute. - Come on. Sit down.

Come on, sit down.

[*]

Good to have you home, Beau.

You gonna drink that or what?

I'm pacing myself.

[*]

Gonna be here for a while.

And then Tim said that "Meldrick Lewis is the finest human being

I've ever had the thrill of knowing."

And that's the word he used. "Thrill."

And then he told me about the time that...

you and him were on an all-night stakeout,

and you told him your life story,

he told you his life story.

I mean, the guy, he really cares about you.

He's upset about this whole thing.

You think I'm putting on weight, Munch?

[Giardello] Anybody home?

Hi, Al.

I'm having a hell of a time with this.

Writing an ad to sell the place?

No. My father's obituary.

Oh.

I brought you your dad's things.

Thank you.

- He loved this hat. - It's a good hat.

It's a... vivid hat.

[both chuckling]

This is where it belongs.

When I was a little girl, I would come to visit my father,

and sometimes I couldn't...

see through the people working.

But if I could see the hat hanging...

I'd know he was nearby.

He did a lot of good.

Helped a lot of people.

The problem with a man that wants to save the world is

sometimes he forgets about the people in his own home.

[exhales sharply]

You didn't do that, did you, Al?

You were always there for Charisse and the other kids.

Hmm. Not always.

It's just that I had this big booming voice

echoing off the walls, even after I left.

It just gave the illusion I was around.

My wife raised our children while I was off

chasing bad guys, chasing dreams.

I only wish that she'd lived long enough to see

what a good job she did.

At least Sam had that.

He was very proud of you...

even if he didn't say it every day.

[suspenseful music playing]

[*]

Hello, Charisse. Sweetheart, it's Dad.

Oh, no, no. Nothing's wrong.

No, I thought I'd just call you and say hello.

[*]

[*]

[*]

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