Original subtitles

Would you look at this?

- Pigeons. - It's not from a pigeon, it's from a waterfowl.

- A what? - A waterfowl, from a mallard.

- A duck? - A well-fed duck.

Right, like you can tell the difference.

That couldn't come from a seagull, I suppose.

No, gulls have a milky white splurter.

Notice the lobular pattern, these splays within splays?

Munch, why do you know these things?

What? I'm an aware human being.

Right, and knowing about bird spluts makes you aware!

No, no, no, no, bird spluts would be a non-migratory avarian,

the droppings of a land-based inhabitant.

Like a cardinal, a robin, a common sparrow.

- This here is a dejecta. - I see.

I get it.

What this is about, is you've been too long without a woman.

You want a date?

Is that what you-- I'll get you a date.

I mean, I'll even pay for the date,

if that'll take care of it.

- I don't need a woman. - Oh, no?

No. I'm a new man, Stan.

I embrace what is avant, what is overlooked.

As the millennium approaches, I'm willing to take that next great step,

but unlike some people I know, I continue to evolve.

Still looks like spluts.

- [Munch] I'll give you spluts. - Yes.

[theme song playing]

[music fades]

[song lyrics playing]

Meldrick Lewis, Detective Supremo, champion of the people.

[Lewis] Morning, Gee.

Does your equally illustrious partner,

doubly supremo, Maestro Crosetti,

deign to grace us with his presence,

after his return from his triumphant vacation?

- Deign? What? - Where's Chuckles?

Uh, he'll be in in a while, Gee. He's, um, fighting the flu.

He's got the cheek to come off vacation and come down with the flu?

Well, it's this high fiber, no scrapple diet that he's on.

- It's lowered his resistance. - Don't remind me of high fiber.

It's wreaking havoc with my personal plumbing.

I'm already beyond the maximum 100 points on my cholesterol.

I could be a poster boy for Crisco.

We got a shooting.

Spangler, Sonny, over at Perkins Homes.

Looks like the wife. You and Crosetti take it.

- You got it. - These damn doctors and their diets.

I tell them I'm hungry, and they just laugh and laugh.

You look good to me, Gee.

Oh, to live with Gusto. I used to live with Gusto.

[Lewis] Gusto's worked for you, Gee.

Now it's all Oprah and aerobics.

I'm in shambles. Get on that shooting.

[Felton] So you riding solo again, huh?

I think you popped Crosetti and the body's in the trunk.

- [Howard laughing] - [scoffs] Don't I wish.

So what is this? You and Steve splittin' or what?

No, why, what you say that for?

Come on, you know, you guys haven't been buddy-buddy

the past couple of weeks.

Speculation starts to make its way.

There's bad blood?

Now, does he say this? Huh? When did he say this to you?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're saying it, I'm not saying it.

The guy talks to me, it's to put a curse on me.

I avoid the man.

You know what I'm starting to think? Huh?

I'm starting to think that maybe I said something

to tick him off.

Was supposed to be back from vacation three days ago.

- Yeah? - I called his house, I leave messages,

I go to places he hangs out at.

I even called his daughter up in Carney.

She ain't heard from him either. You know?

I mean, three days I've been covering

for the little salami brain.

All I said was, I am thinking about visiting my ex-wife.

I mean, she calls from Santa Barbara,

she says, "Come on out" and you know,

see her new house.

And I think, I don't know, you know,

as long as she's, uh, inviting

maybe I should consider accepting.

You're divorced.

Divorced people don't visit each other.

Divorced people hate each other. This, I know.

I'm divorced twice, I never speak to my exes.

I've never been to Santa Barbara, Munch.

[Munch sighs]

What do we got?

Black wingtips. A man.

In Balto yes, in Santa Barbara, who knows who wears what.

Well, whoever this is, they have been in the water,

I'm gonna guess a week.

[radio chatter]

I hate these kind of suicides.

What, you making the call? This is a suicide?

Right, right, right. I spoke out of turn.

You are the primary, Stan.

- Fraternal Order of Police. - Oh, no, we got a cop here?

[tense music playing]

What'd I do, Gee?

Come in and close the door.

What's this, Gee?

That's Crosetti's. What-- Ho-- how'd you get that?

[Lewis puffs air]

[Bolander] We found his car nearby.

His raincoat's folded neatly.

There's a rosary on the raincoat.

It looks like he--

- It's a suicide! - [Lewis] No.

No.

No, I don't care if you got a note and a full confession,

my partner did not commit suicide.

I don't even wanna hear the word, okay?

I just wanna go out there, and find the son of a bitch that killed him, Gee.

Munch, what's your take on this?

Looks like a suicide.

I did have some doubts, though.

You see, Munch has got some doubts, Gee.

- You called it before I did. - Something's not right.

You-- you called it at the scene! I mean, agree with you!

[Lewis] Gee, this is my partner, I know my partner! Huh?

Now, how many suicides have me and him

stood over together, huh?

And always the speeches.

Crosetti believes in God, Gee.

My partner did not kill himself, Gee.

I know the man.

Somebody did something to Steve.

We'll proceed on this as wrongful death.

Wrongful death? [scoffs]

Wrongful death? How?

Stan, in your usual breathtaking manner,

start with the field interviews.

Talk to the people who knew Crosetti.

I should make a call to the daughter.

[somber music playing]

[office din]

I'm at the market, I guess it was about a month ago,

and I'm gonna, you know, cook homemade

for this girl that I'm trying to impress.

I'm thinking a spaghetti sauce.

I run into Steve.

And I tell him what I'm up to,

and he starts yanking things out of my shopping cart.

And he tells me a red sauce

is only garlic,

a little diced onion,

tomato and maybe a splash of wine.

And I ask him, I ask him,

"Well, how about all these other recipes, you know?

How come they all ask for mushrooms,

peppers, this, that?"

And...

Steve says it's because, uh,

red sauce has been taken over by the Protestants.

He seemed okay to me.

Crabby. [scoffs] You know the way he is.

Was.

Nothing unusual. We really didn't talk much.

[sighing] Jeez, he's really dead?

Did he seem unstable recently?

What do you mean recently? He was always unstable.

- [Bolander] What about his wife? - Ex-wife.

[Bolander] Were they having any problems?

[scoffs] Of course they were having problems, Stan,

they were divorced, divorced couples have problems.

- At least, normal ones do. - Can we stay on track here?

Was he having any financial problems?

- Yeah. - He was?

Yeah, don't we all?

Was he working on any cases that might've upset him?

I don't know. Ask Meldrick.

- Did you ask Meldrick? - Lewis would know.

I don't know, check with Meldrick.

- What's Lewis say? - Meldrick?

[Lewis] I'm not talking to you guys.

Just listen to us. Listen.

Steve just closed the Rena Winston case.

She hanged her son, Joey-- Joey Winston.

She hanged her little boy, five-years-old.

Steve got a conviction, Rena Winston's serving life.

See, my memory is he talked about this case a lot.

I would go so far as to say he obsessed with it.

I know where you're going with this, okay?

He did not commit suicide.

And you're both sons of bitches for trying to prove he did.

You go ahead, you kick a man when he's already down,

when you know who he is.

Y'all go ahead, do what you gotta do.

You won't get no help outta me.

[percussion music playing]

What d'you mean you're not going to the funeral?

Is it gonna be held in a church?

Sure, the service is held in the church.

I don't go into churches anymore.

Well, since when?

You were in and out of them all the time,

going after that serial killer.

Let's just say God and I are not on a first name basis.

Let's just say we're not on speaking terms.

You're illegal, Frank. It's a hydrant.

You know, you couldn't fit a dime between the bumpers rear and front.

And did I even touch the other cars? No!

Not even a love tap.

We got a memo about illegally parking.

Okay, okay, okay, we get a ticket, it's all yours.

Yeah.

Yup, these are them, these are Crosetti's favorites.

- Okay. - How much?

$9 a dozen.

What, d'you get the winning lottery number in these things?

So, we're gonna need enough for, uh--

What d'you think, maybe a couple hundred people?

- [baker] You're celebrating? - No, burying a friend.

We're having a reception for him after the services.

- [baker] I'm sorry. - Mm.

So, what d'you think, a couple of cookies per person?

It's cheaper than cake.

Okay, we're gonna need

maybe 400 of these whatchamacallits.

Okay, that's 33, maybe 34 dozen,

times nine, 306.

$306?

- These are cookies. - Now, how long do you think you're gonna need to--

- to get this batch out? - Whoa, whoa, Bayliss, Bayliss.

We're not gonna go $300 for cookies.

What? What?

This reception, it's for a policeman.

We're policemen, we work homicide.

Is there something you could do for us on the cookies?

- Well, you didn't have to beg. - I didn't beg.

This isn't about you going and buying a CD player

at Discount City, this is Steve Crosetti.

We go retail on our friends.

Hey, we're working with a budget here.

You were hat in hand.

And she enjoyed the humiliation, I could tell.

And I don't believe for a second that she's Italian, either.

Since when are Italians blonde, huh?

So, we go $300 on the cookies, what are we gonna do for coffee?

Huh? What about soda?

Actually, there are a lot of blonde Italians.

The Italians were raped and pillaged by everyone,

from the Carthaginians...

to the French...

the Vikings.

So, she gives you a buck off of each dozen.

Don't you see, Frank?

You bargained Crosetti's good name for 33 bucks.

These damn department cars.

You can get it in, but you can't get it out.

I would've given you the 33 bucks

not to say anything.

You know, I don't know even why I asked.

I'm gonna take out my gun, I'm gonna shoot this damn car.

I'm gonna start with that Cadillac in front

and this one in the rear, here too--

[Pembleton sighs]

That silly man and his silly cookies.

So what do we have? Another suicide?

We don't know that yet. We're looking into it now.

That's four now.

This will be the fourth police suicide

within the last ten months, it looks bad for the department.

[Giardello] I said, we still haven't determined

the cause of Crosetti's death.

If he was one of mine, I'd be protective of him too, Al.

What, he's not one of yours?

- [Granger] Of course. - [Barnfather] C'mon, look.

We need a press blackout on this.

The media wants to know anything, look dumb,

refer them to public relations.

[Giardello] Now, let me get this straight.

Steve's death is a public relations problem?

[Barnfather] We have people in public relations, Lieutenant.

How about we just let them do public relations?

What about Crosetti's benefits?

His daughter's coming down. I wanna be able to tell her that she's gonna be taken care of.

No problem, he gave his best.

Well, she wants us to handle the funeral.

Yeah, well, if it's suicide, no honor guard.

Why not?

He died, he's a cop.

He gets an honor guard.

[Barnfather] We just buried a detective out of property crimes last month.

- Callance at South Wells? - [Barnfather] Yes.

- He got an honor guard, I was there. - It's too soon.

Public displays lead to public questions.

You know, Callance was found in the bathroom

of a hotel on the block, kneeling over the tub,

his blood running into the drain?

Oh, what's to get upset about? He knew when he did it we'd find him like that.

No honor guard. No honor guard.

No honor guard.

[upbeat music playing]

- The peaches are wild tonight. - Huh?

"Eat A Peach," The Allman Brothers?

I'm referring to the waitress.

Oh, you're hoping to get lucky with her tonight, I see.

You know, I've been watching her ever since I came in this place.

- She winks at everybody. - She winked at you?

- Every time. - Come on.

- Every time! - She probably saw your wedding ring.

Oh, all the more reason

I'm safe for her.

You know, you oughta get rid of that wedding ring.

Wearing that ring so long after you've been divorced

is a bit optimistic.

I didn't know Crosetti at all.

I didn't want to.

What ticks me off is I'm beginning to realize

how little I know about myself.

I-- I don't know enough about who I am

or how I do the job that I do,

to ask the right questions

for my fraternal brothers...

to figure out what one of us is all about.

I keep trying to remember Crosetti.

His desk was three feet away from mine.

I can't even

remember if we said any more than "hi" to each other

for a whole entire year.

I always treated Crosetti with respect, didn't I?

[office din]

- [knocking on door] - [door clicks open]

[Giardello] Beatrice, come in, please.

I-- I've packed like I was coming here for weeks.

I-- I brought three different dresses.

I-- I wasn't sure how formal to go.

It won't be formal.

I don't know. Dress blues, white gloves and all that's pretty formal.

Beatrice, there may not be any dress blues.

Well, what about the honor guard?

There may not be an honor guard.

Why not, I mean,

isn't an honor guard how it always is?

Dad always said he didn't mind dying,

because he knew everybody would be standing there

saluting in their dress blues.

Beatrice, there's some...

questions.

There's some...

confusion...

about how your dad died.

What questions?

I don't want to get into any specificity

until I know all the facts.

Tell me.

It's possible...

he may have killed himself.

Maybe a month ago was the last time I spoke with Dad.

Six weeks ago, he had a cold.

Do you need me to sign any of these?

You do, but all that can wait.

I'm here right now.

[office din]

You doing okay?

I need you to talk to Bolander for me.

What? You want me to tell Bolander what?

To fudge the report?

To say Crosetti died of pneumonia?

You know Bolander, he's the original bull in a china shop.

Once he gets started, nothing will stop him.

I remember someone approached me last year

and this someone had a friend

who was in big-time trouble.

And this someone...

his best friend...

shoots his father, maybe, maybe not.

Now, his father's got cancer.

So maybe, maybe not, it's a mercy killing.

But somehow, Beau...

somehow goes down the father dies of suicide, remember?

Bolander is not going to listen to me.

I'm working on a couple of angles, okay?

Two possibilities at least.

Number one,

Crosetti was taken down by Farrell.

Now, now, Crosetti arrested Farrell's son last year

and he swore vengeance.

Number two, Crosetti owes Marsollo for horses,

maybe more than I realized

but that's just between me and you, all right?

Meanwhile, Big Man is out to prove whatever the hell he wants to prove

and me and you both know he could prove the sun is cold.

What I need from you, Beau,

all I need from you is to slow him down.

Farrell? Farrell who?

The old man that uses a walker?

Marsollo?

He cries if you even look at him funny.

Wake up, Meldrick!

I watched them slice up my partner in the morgue.

Scheiner took the electric saw,

slices off the top of his head.

They took his heart, weighed it...

then he tossed it into a steel container

like the kind you find in a restaurant kitchen.

How many times have I been to the ME?

How many times I seen him slice the top of somebody's head off?

A couple hundred times, maybe.

Maybe more.

But I never really noticed. I never really watched.

'Til I saw Steve.

[Giardello] I appreciate you coming down.

[Russert] Hey,

Steve was one of the few people that came

and offered me congrats when I got my promotion.

Al, quit pacing, you're gonna give yourself a heart attack.

With you here maybe we can double-team the deputy commissioner

to see the light and okay the honor guard.

I haven't slept in weeks.

Last night I woke up in bed.

I was sweating. My heart was pounding.

I could feel the pounding through my pajamas.

Night terrors, huh?

The deputy commissioner says he's very busy today.

But if you could write down what it is you need to see him about,

he'll get you an answer just as soon as possible.

- He knows why we're here. - He's very busy.

He's a son of a bitch!

[secretary] You know, your attitude is not gonna change things.

All I'm requesting is an honor guard for one of my detectives!

If you would write down the necessary information,

I could type up a request for you.

Um, excuse me, but when would the deputy commissioner

be able to give his word on this?

[secretary] There's just no telling.

The funeral is tomorrow!

He takes on each piece of information

as it comes in.

He's a very, very thorough man.

So the sooner we set things in motion,

the sooner you'll have your answer.

I have my answer already.

[tense music playing]

[thunder cracking]

[mellow blues music playing]

- [Felton] Hey, John. - Beau.

- You got a second? - Nope.

What you reading?

Crosetti's caseload over the last six months.

Oh, yeah? Any important clues?

You mind if I sit?

What d'you want, Beau?

I'm just trying to figure out what's going on

in the investigation, John!

[Munch sighs]

Is Stan still on your case, still claiming it's a suicide?

I just wanna make sure Steve comes out of this thing okay.

We all do, Beau, problem is,

what we want and what it is may not be the same thing.

I'm just thinking about Steve.

What, he's dead!

He's not gonna care either way.

So the full court press is on, eh?

Yep.

Look, I tried to talk to Stan to ask him to back off.

- You did? - I did.

No good?

You see me sitting here alone?

Then you know how it came out.

[office din]

Meldrick, you wanna go get some supper or something?

No, I'm just packing up Steve's effects.

His daughter's downstairs.

She, uh-- she don't wanna come back up here.

She seems like a sweet kid.

Oh, yeah, she is, yeah.

She, uh--

she said she can't breathe up here.

[chuckles] I know what she means.

Did you hear anything more from the ME about the cause?

[Lewis] No.

[Howard] You wanna get some dinner or something,

I'll hang, you know?

Nah, nah, I'll take care of this.

[sniffs] Thanks.

Good night.

[phone ringing]

[man] Homicide.

[solemn music playing]

[thudding]

[thunder rumbling]

[police siren whooping]

- Beatrice? - Detective Bolander, right?

You have a memory for names.

Almost no one ever remembers my name.

Sorry about your father.

- He was a good man. - He was okay.

I-- I know this is a difficult time, I--

but can you possibly remember...

your father acting somehow differently lately?

You know, maybe it was health problems,

or he could have stress problems,

maybe had trouble sleeping?

Well, six weeks ago he had a cold.

Mum say anything about your father

acting differently lately?

My mum and dad never talk.

Umm...

- Is she dating someone? Or was? - My Mom?

She's been dressed in all black since the day she and Dad split.

What about your dad? Maybe he was having trouble with a girlfriend.

Dad had a girlfriend?

What was he doing with a girlfriend?

No, I-- I didn't say he did.

I mean, I was trying to find out if he did.

Well, who-- who is this girlfriend?

I didn't say he had a girlfriend.

I-- I was just asking about if he had a girlfriend.

[Lewis] What you doing, Bolander? Huh?

- Stanley, what you doing? - [Bolander sighs]

Hey, Beats, you all right?

Beatrice, I'm sorry.

Hey, would you just get away from the car, please?

Just get away. Beats, what's the matter?

Did Dad have a girlfriend, Meldrick?

Is that why he left Mom and me?

Why d'you wanna be asking her stuff like that for?

- Beatrice, I am very sorry... - Would you get away from the car, please!

You got questions? Huh?

Why don't you just go ahead and ask me, okay?

- I'm his damn partner! - Right, Meldrick, right.

I'll do that.

[thunder rumbling]

It's tomorrow.

Um, ginger ale and, um--

uh, colas, I guess.

No, we're not serving mixed drinks.

No liquor of any kind. Because it's the law.

It's a city-owned building.

Well, sometimes I think it's a pretty stupid idea too.

Uh-huh. Bye.

How are the preparations going?

Well, I told you not to worry, so, uh, don't worry.

What's this about you not attending the requiem mass?

Bayliss is a blabbermouth.

I want you there, Frank.

Uh, Gee, unless you've heard differently,

the freedom of religion still applies in this country.

But this is not about faith, Frank, this is about--

this is about friendship.

[smacks lips] Faith?

Friendship?

[Pembleton sighs]

I want your best casket, Bernard.

- What can you show me? - This is your brother?

Yeah. This is my brother. Have I committed a crime here?

- John, what d'you need? - We're talking big favor.

How much of a favor?

I never knew you had a brother. My name's Tim.

Bernard. Why should he mention me?

I'm his younger brother.

I'll always be younger than you.

Where's this hostility coming from?

Is this where your mother wants you?

She's your mother first.

I bring her joy, happiness and pride.

You bring her gladiolas from yesterday's funeral.

- I'm getting nauseous. - A brother who's an undertaker.

You know something? He never mentioned it.

Does Bolander know about this?

- Do you know Stan-- - Okay, Bayliss, okay.

Talk caskets to me.

You can have stainless steel, you can have steel and graphite,

you can have steel and graphite and titanium.

Water-sealed, not water-sealed.

I can customize it for you with a candy apple metal flake

like a '63 vet.

You can have a standard silk interior

or the silk and linen finish.

Or you can go top of the line with a silk, linen, lace,

with a mother of pearl combo.

How guilty are you feeling?

- It's for a very good friend. - Oh.

So you wouldn't wanna spend more on his box

than you would spend on him if he were alive.

See, the rule of thumb is, the more guilt,

the more is laid out for the box.

You know, it's funny, you being in Homicide, Munch,

and Bernard here being an undertaker,

both of you just dealing so closely with death,

it must be sort of in the family--

Bayliss, go wait in the car, okay?

How about this one right here?

- This one? - Yeah.

This one. Five grand.

That's the best I can do. That's at my dealer cost.

That's for your best casket?

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. The best is over here.

The best would cost you eight grand.

- That's what it cost you? - That's what it cost me, $8,000.

Okay, we'll take it.

Ah, between you and him, the holiday dinner table

must be a riot, huh?

It's one life affirming story after another.

[office din]

You started in the south-west district, didn't you?

[Bolander] No, here, western. Well.

Before they tore the building down.

Any word from the medical examiner about Crosetti--

- about the cause of death? - Not yet.

I asked Scheiner to be thorough, to be sure.

I know everybody's on you to do right by Steve,

to make sure it doesn't come out as suicide.

Is that what you're asking, Lieutenant? To make it a murder?

A murder with no murderer is a murder that can't be solved.

If you order me to do it, I'll do it.

I mean hell, my clearance rate is so low these days,

I mean, one more open case ain't gonna make any difference.

Everybody says, you know, "Do it for Steve."

And I keep thinking, I mean, if he chose to commit suicide,

what right do I have, what right does any of us have,

to make that go away?

I don't agree with what he did...

but if that's his final statement...

should I wipe that clear?

[scoffs] Just for our peace of mind?

I mean, nobody wants to admit it,

but everybody knows what really happened.

If it's ruled a suicide...

his name will come off the board.

If it's a murder...

Crosetti's name will be up there all the time.

Reminding us.

In the old days, the Italians wouldn't bury a suicide

in a graveyard or consecrated ground.

They'd take a body out of the village

and dig a hole at the point where two roads crossed.

[Giardello speaking Italian]

The Crossroads.

The Italians believe that if someone

should come to the crossroads and choose to end his life,

then he should be buried where those who had

the strength to go on could walk over him.

The Italians are an unforgiving lot.

I know.

But we make great pasta.

It balances out.

Do you want me to quit?

Do you want me to stop my investigation?

No.

[upbeat jazz music playing]

According to people I've talked to,

Steve was the happiest man in America.

- Maybe he was. - Maybe.

Maybe not.

I'd kinda like to hear what you think, Chris.

Well, that night, Steve was happy.

- Right, Eva? - Yeah.

[Bolander] He didn't say anything about, uh,

feelings, difficulties, whatever?

Nothing that would stand out in my mind, no.

[Bolander] So, as far as you're concerned,

everything with Steve was hunky-dory?

Yeah, he was all right. I mean, you know, he was oaky.

Chris, do you know what?

I actually believe that when I'm interrogating a suspect,

that I can tell when they're lying...

just by looking in their eyes.

But since you're blind, I don't know.

- Why would I lie? - You tell me.

- You're saying I'm lying? - [Bolander] I'm-- I'm-- listen.

I'm just saying, you know, when you were shot,

when you were blinded, Chris,

Steve went bazongas

until he caught the son of a bitch who did that to you.

Excuse me.

So maybe, I don't know, you-- you feel like, uh...

[sighs] ...you're beholden to him, you owe him one.

Chris, if you don't tell him, I will.

[baby cooing]

[Thormann sighs]

Meldrick came by last night.

Meldrick was here?

[Thormann] Yeah.

He told me and Eva that you'd be coming around.

That you're trying to prove Steve took his own life.

He said that, huh?

Well, what else did he say?

Not to give you any information.

He told it to everybody.

[Bolander] He talked to everybody?

Said we shouldn't answer your questions.

He said we had to protect Steve from you.

He said you were bloodless, Stan.

[somber music playing]

[Lewis] Hey, Gee, got the shooter in the Perkins Homes case.

Wasn't the wife, it was the guy's cousin.

Spangle sold his own cousin bad heroin. [giggle]

Proves the point, don't do business with your relatives.

Yeah, they're processing him downstairs even as we speak.

Good job. Thank you, Naomi.

About Crosetti, I got this angle, see?

Um, seems like, uh,

he was having an altercation with some of the neighbors.

He was up all night playing jazz, they threatened, he threatened,

you know how it is, I wanna check it out.

All right, give it to Bolander.

Bolander ain't interested in anything I got to say.

[Giardello] Even so, he's the primary.

Gee, he'll ignore this, and you know it.

Meldrick, I know that Felton and Howard

solved the Perkins Homes case

because you were out chasing down different theories

about Crosetti's death.

I closed my eyes to give you time.

Well, this is a real lead, Gee.

- And if it's not? - Well then I'll think of something else.

What, that he was murdered by a cult, by aliens?

- Come on, man! - Yeah. Maybe.

Gee. Gee, I gotta do something.

All right, check this thing with the neighbors out,

but if Stan hears what you're up to,

I'll deny giving you permission to do it, got it?

Got it.

Why don't you write down here

what it is I should or shouldn't know.

Who it is I should or shouldn't talk to.

What's the problem, Stan?

The problem is is everywhere I go,

someone else's been there before me,

influencing witnesses.

I'm busy.

[Naomi] Bolander, line two.

Munch, you take it. It's my investigation.

Crosetti is my case and my responsibility.

What you're doing is called obstructing justice.

No, what I'm doing is called investigating

in an impartial manner instead of dirtying a man's reputation.

What are you scared of, Meldrick?

Not you.

You can't protect Steve anymore. He's dead.

You gotta tear him down in front of his daughter,

you leave her crying, you gotta kick everybody.

He's dead.

He can't have any secrets anymore.

You accused him of fooling around to his daughter.

Oh, no, I didn't. I asked, I never accused.

- I would know. - Oh, yeah? You would know, huh?

Well what if Steve really was fooling around?

Maybe if Steve was having an affair,

I mean, maybe you didn't know him at all.

You're protecting him?

You're protecting yourself maybe.

Let's say he's fooling around,

let's say he's doing a lot of other things

you don't know anything about.

So how's that make you look, huh?

Doesn't make you a stand-up partner, now, does it?

[Munch] The ME has a preliminary report.

- Steve drowned. - See, it was an accident.

In his blood and tissue toxicology,

Steve had .25 blood alcohol.

So, he's drunk.

And in his stomach and kidneys was the presence

of alprazolam, clonazepam,

chlordiazepoxide, phenelzine, imipramine.

I mean, the guy was a walking drugstore

full of tranks and antidepressants

when he hit the water.

It's preliminary, huh? Just preliminary.

[Lewis breathing heavily]

[Lewis sobbing]

He never even said goodbye.

I mean, the least he could do would be to say goodbye.

I mean, I thought I knew him, Big Man.

[scoffs] Look at this stuff.

I hate him.

[Lewis scoffs]

I-- I hate what happened to him.

How he let himself go.

[Bolander] That's a Duncan lmperial.

I had one of those.

That's--

That's the best. That-- that's top of the line.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's a collector's item.

It's worth something, you know.

He had it from when he was a kid.

He tried to give it to me, b--

but I said no, I wouldn't take it.

When did he try-- try to give it to you, the yo-yo?

Uh, I don't know, like, just before he--

he left.

- What, you mean on his vacation? - Yeah, the day he left.

Then...

maybe he did say goodbye.

[*]

Okay, here we are.

I still can't understand why you're not going to the church.

Well, I don't have to explain myself.

You really are a selfish jerk.

Why you pissed at me?

Why aren't you in Granger's face?

Crosetti was a good cop.

No matter how he died, he deserves a cop's funeral,

which includes an honor guard.

How come you're not upstairs

giving Barnfather attitude?

'Cause I don't expect them

to behave like human beings, Frank.

I guess I expected too much from you.

- [indistinct]. - No, no. Forget it.

I'm kind of giving the eulogy

and I still don't know what to say.

Why don't you just say that he was, uh,

kind to old women and dogs?

He hated old women and dogs.

Gee, the whole point of a eulogy is to lie.

You're supposed to make the departed seem dearly.

I've finished the report on Steve.

All I need is for you to sign off on it.

If we're going to go to the church, we gotta go.

Take care, Frank.

[mellow saxophone playing]

Where's Pembleton?

Yeah, Bayliss, what's up with him?

[clears throat] I'm not my partner's keeper, all right.

In the legal, biblical or pejorative sense of the word.

[sighs] There's no way this crowd

is gonna polish off 34 dozen cookies.

This is my Aunt Luna and Uncle Paul.

It's good you could be-- I mean, it's nice to--

For Beatrice.

I'm sorry, my mouth isn't working so good.

You sure have a lot of red hair, huh?

Can't help noticing that in church.

- Thank you. - What you looking at her hair in church for?

Don't you have any respect for the dead? What's the matter with you?

I can't take you anywhere. You can't even go to a funeral.

Gee, that was-- that was nice what you said about Steve.

You think? I wish I could do it over.

Well, that's the trouble with funerals,

they're a one-shot deal.

- The saxophone was a nice touch. - Thormann's idea.

Yeah, personally, I think the New Orleans bit

is a little much, but hey, that's dumbo, huh?

[mournful saxophone playing]

[saxophone stops]

[*]