Original subtitles

Last time, on Everybody loves Raymond:

How did you ever get ready for our wedding?

Mommy.

Oh, that's right.

I had blocked out the fact that you were 30 and still living at home.

Then why did you marry me?

Raymond just asked Debra to marry him.

You're already planning the wedding?

I've been planning it since I was 12.

You didn't meet me till you were 22.

Well, you're the last piece of the puzzle.

Would you still wanna marry me if we couldn't have a big wedding?

I don't need a big wedding.

So like 200, 250 tops.

The 3rd or the 17th?

Seventeenth.

The chocolatier isn't available till then.

Yes, and that'll give me a chance to do another fitting.

I'm invited, right?

Father Hubley!

- So nice to see you again. - You, too.

And this must be Raymond.

Yes, this is Raymond. Raymond, this is Father Hubley.

Hi, I'm Raymond.

That's very nice.

I'm thinking of getting a larger one.

So I guess that one goes up in the bedroom, right?

Like when you get a new TV, you bring the old one up.

Let's jump in.

- Debra, please sit. - Okay.

Why is it that you want to marry Raymond?

You know, Ray's just the...

He is the kindest, sweetest man I've ever met.

And he has a wonderfuI sense of humor.

I mean, he's not always funny...

but he really is very clever...

and nobody makes me laugh like he does.

Really?

Yes, and... I don't know...

I guess I've never been as comfortable with anybody in my whole life.

In fact, just about the minute I met him I knew that he was the one for me.

So, that's us.

Don't lie.

I'm not Iying.

- Are you Iying, Debra? - No!

Well, then that was lovely.

Why is it that you wish to marry Debra?

- You said "wish. " - Excuse me?

Yeah, for me, you said:

"Why would you wish to marry her?"

And for her, you said:

"Why would you want to marry him?"

Yeah, there's a subtle thing there.

He didn't say, "Why would you want to marry him?"

I wouldn't say "would. "

Okay, but still, "wish" was to me, you know, like:

"Yeah, you wish. "

- What are you doing? - Yeah.

- Tell him why you want to marry me! - Okay.

She's great, all right?

Great.

I'm going to assume that you won't be writing your own vows.

Well, let me ask you this.

- Are children planned? - Yes.

We plan on having a big family.

Raymond?

Well, I never really thought about it.

We talked about it.

That doesn't mean I thought about it.

Actually, I am a little pressed for time today...

but, Raymond, if I may?

Marriage requires a great deaI of souI-searching...

before a responsible decision can be made.

Now, you owe that to yourself, and to your intended.

Her.

Now, you can stay and talk for as long as you want...

or wish.

But, I think, I...

Oh, good. A funeraI.

God bless.

So, want to get something to eat?

What did you do?

- What? - What?

He thinks you are a moron.

- Well, you're marrying me. - Yeah, I know.

- You see, there it is. - There what is, Ray?

That you don't really want me.

You want the flowers and the dresses...

and the lamb chops with the little paper panties.

You are so full of it.

"She's just using me so she can have her big wedding. "

You think I'm falling for that act? Tell the truth!

You're scared.

You're scared of having to move out of your mom's house and start an actuaI life.

Let me tell you something, I meant what I said here today. I love you!

And you love me, and we are getting married.

You want to act? Act like you're happy.

Do you understand me? Oh, my God.

You know what? I don't care if you're scared or nervous.

You got cold feet, you get some socks!

She really wants that wedding.

- Hey, Raymond. - Hey, Uncle MeI. How are you?

- I'm good. - Yeah.

You look like a bus toilet.

Thanks. Glad you could come.

This is Lewis. He's my business partner.

- Hey, how are you? - We're not gay.

Okay, then. See you in a bit, right?

I had to get the bigger one.

- I saw you come in here. - Look, Ma, please. Not now, okay?

Honey, I understand what you're going through.

You don't think I know?

She's very pretty, isn't she?

Who? Debra?

It's hard sometimes with pretty people, you know?

You feeI so... You know?

Listen, our family is not the most... You know?

Look at your father.

It's not that I didn't have choices.

But I picked him.

And now...

Oh, Raymond, I'm sorry.

My God.

Hey, big crowd.

Listen, Debra's father, what's his name?

- Warren. - Don't like him.

But the good news is you don't marry the parents.

You'll see, after you're married, the parents aren't in your life so much.

The way your mother wasn't in my life?

- Don't start with my mother. - A horrible woman.

A saint. She tried to warn me about you.

Fine. Move.

You had to ruin the happiest day of our lives.

- And don't sit next to me in there. - There's no room next to you!

So you're getting married? That's great.

- I think I want to see Debra. - No, that's forbidden.

Even I know that.

Listen, if I'd seen your mother before the thing...

I'd be having this conversation on a beach in Jamaica with my son Ruiz.

Here, I got a better idea for you.

Jack DanieI's? No, Dad.

Listen to your father, will you? Relax! You're getting all womanly.

Come on, have a belt or two. Take the edge off.

- Please, Dad. - Listen to me.

Ray, listen. Can I run my toast by you?

Not now, Robert, please. Okay? Just not now.

Sure. Fine.

It's all about you.

Well, I'll see you down front, Ray.

And crack the seaI on this hooch. It got me through.

- You okay? - Yeah, I'm all right. I'm just...

You know, I gotta tell you, this whole marriage thing just spooks me.

I see a lot of bad things.

- What, being a cop and all? - Mom and Dad.

There's the groom.

The bride asked us to deliver this.

Did she leave?

No, silly.

Socks?

Yeah.

Ten minutes, people.

- Well, here we go. - Righto.

So Debra, huh?

Yeah.

- Debra's some girI. - Yeah, I know.

- See you out there. - Okay.

Where's Ray?

Hey, hi, nice seeing you.

Oh, boy.

Look at her.

Are you looking, man? Look. Are you looking?

Hi. Thanks, man.

Thanks. Thank you. Thanks for this. Really.

Great job.

Go, sit down. I got it. I'll take it the rest of the way.

Come on.

- Look at you, you look fantastic. - Thanks.

- Hello? - Hi.

- Open it up. - Okay, I'll do it.

I'll take care of it.

Give me the flowers.

I like that dress. I do.

Are you okay?

Who wouldn't be okay? Look at you. You're beautifuI.

You're not freaking out, are you?

I'm in love with you.

- Dearly beloved... - Hi.

Hi.

Look at her, huh?

- She is beautifuI. - Yeah, and she's engaged.

You have come here together in the sight of God...

so that the Lord may seaI and strengthen your love...

in the presence of this church and this community.

"I now ask the bride and groom to state their intentions. "

Raymond and Debra.

Have you come here freely and without reservation...

"to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"

- Yes. - Thanks.

Me, too.

"Will you love and honor each other as husband and wife for the rest of your life?"

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes. Stop it!

What's the matter with Raymond?

I feeI compelled to say something.

When I first met Raymond...

I was less than overwhelmed by his demeanor towards...

the prospect of matrimony. But now...

he seems to be the very personification of the wedding spirit.

There is, after all, no more joyous occasion than this.

And perhaps, our Raymond is behaving today...

the way God always intended.

So that's good, right?

It is both refreshing and wonderfuI.

Are we married yet?

- "Do you, Raymond, take Debra... " - Yes.

Wait.

"To be your wife?" Wait.

Do you promise to be true to her in good times and bad?

"To love her and honor her all the days of your life?"

- Now. - Yes.

- Debra? - I do.

Thanks.

Is it too late for that own vows thing?

- You want to say something? - Yeah, I need the ring.

Thanks. You're little.

I'm sorry I've been such a jerk.

And I promise not to be one anymore.

If you'll help me.

I will.

You have declared your consent before the church.

"What God has joined, men cannot divide. "

Let them try.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

- I love you. - Yeah, you say that now.

- Raymond, feeling better? - Yeah, I'm pretty good.

That was some show you put on in there today.

- I thought he was cute. - Cute? There's a new word for it.

If you'll excuse me now, I'll be at the bar getting "cute. "

Okay, Dad.

- What's he talking about, Ray? - Nothing. He talks.

- Ray, please don't tell me... - What?

- Were you... - No.

- Were you... - No, listen.

- Oh, my God. Are you drunk now? - No, Deb.

- Oh, my God. - No, Debra.

I knew you were too happy out there. What did I do?

How could you do this to me? Is that what it takes to marry me?

- No. Would you stop? Here, look. - Oh, my God!

No. Listen. Look at it.

You want me to be drunk, too, so we can be two drunken married idiots together!

Will you stop? Look at it. I didn't crack the seaI. It's full.

He gave it to me, but I never opened it.

So that was you out there?

I got the socks...

and I started thinking...

that was funny that you would send me socks.

And then I thought...

she's kind of funny.

I started thinking about where I was...

and you.

And us.

Then I didn't need the socks.

- So that was you happy. - Yeah.

Don't get used to that.

Hello.

I gotta make a toast.

I'd like to say to my brother Raymond...

that even though there have been times I felt he was the favorite...

that he always got everything he ever wanted...

I have never felt that more than I do today.

I want to wish these two kids well.

I know success will probably move them far, far away from us.

But I know somehow we'll find a way to be together.

Of course we will.

So if everyone will join me...

to Mr. and Mrs. Raymond Barone.

Have I mentioned there are some weird things about my family?

How could you ever doubt that I wanted to marry you?

I'm still not convinced.

What's it going to take?